Started new job and got pregnant at the same time

[biehive]

Hi all,

I am a Feb '16 mother-to-be.

My husband and I got married in last September. At first, starting a family was not in our immediate plan but as we progressed into married life we finally felt that it was time.

We tried to conceive for about 4 months and nothing happened. At the same time, I was feeling stressed and unhappy about work. Changing job was constantly on my mind. After some thought, I decided to quit my job and to start another, shelving my baby plans aside.

In end Apr I found a new job and started working in a new company in mid May. The two weeks break I had before starting my new job was fantastic - I had time for myself and my family, felt recharged and my spirits were lifted. During this time, my husband and I decided not to have a baby until I am more settled into my new job, but if things happened it would have been meant to be.

So, as you would have guessed it, little did I expect a BFP in end June...

I am now stuck in a sticky situation. I am about 10 weeks along and have been thinking how I should inform my bosses about my pregnancy without sabotaging my career. During the job interview, the topic of having kids was never brought up and based on what I have observed the culture here is family-friendly (I am working in a government agency). I have also checked that I would qualify for the maternity benefits so long as I have 3 months of service ( I just hit 2). I am feeling really grateful that my pregnancy has been rather smooth so far - apart from extreme fatigue I feel fine most of the time, so I have been making contributions at work to the best of my ability. I plan to speak to my boss once I am over my first trimester. Although I have my plans worked out I can't help but wonder how will my bosses take to this news, given that I am so new to the job and perhaps, have yet to prove my worth.

Any advice or assurance will be v v appreciated. Thank you for reading this post

 

[naive2310]

Hi all,

I am a Feb '16 mother-to-be.

My husband and I got married in last September. At first, starting a family was not in our immediate plan but as we progressed into married life we finally felt that it was time.

We tried to conceive for about 4 months and nothing happened. At the same time, I was feeling stressed and unhappy about work. Changing job was constantly on my mind. After some thought, I decided to quit my job and to start another, shelving my baby plans aside.

In end Apr I found a new job and started working in a new company in mid May. The two weeks break I had before starting my new job was fantastic - I had time for myself and my family, felt recharged and my spirits were lifted. During this time, my husband and I decided not to have a baby until I am more settled into my new job, but if things happened it would have been meant to be.

So, as you would have guessed it, little did I expect a BFP in end June...

I am now stuck in a sticky situation. I am about 10 weeks along and have been thinking how I should inform my bosses about my pregnancy without sabotaging my career. During the job interview, the topic of having kids was never brought up and based on what I have observed the culture here is family-friendly (I am working in a government agency). I have also checked that I would qualify for the maternity benefits so long as I have 3 months of service ( I just hit 2). I am feeling really grateful that my pregnancy has been rather smooth so far - apart from extreme fatigue I feel fine most of the time, so I have been making contributions at work to the best of my ability. I plan to speak to my boss once I am over my first trimester. Although I have my plans worked out I can't help but wonder how will my bosses take to this news, given that I am so new to the job and perhaps, have yet to prove my worth.

Any advice or assurance will be v v appreciated. Thank you for reading this post

HI biehive, i can totally feel you... i'm also in a similar situation as urs only that mine is slightly more complicated..
my current company is closing down and the supposedly last day in service will be on 31 Aug.. and now i find that i'm preggie.. i do have a job waiting as the company who is taking over a few of our brands is keen to offer me. but now i'm not even sure if i would still be able to take up the job offer especially in my current situation. i have seen alot of discrimination in the span of my career and i know with the revelation of my pregnancy, there will be a high chance that they would probably rethink their offer.
as for your case, you are quite lucky that you are already adapting well in your new job, however you might want to focus on building up the relationship with ur bosses before you let them know..

 

[biehive]

HI biehive, i can totally feel you... i'm also in a similar situation as urs only that mine is slightly more complicated..
my current company is closing down and the supposedly last day in service will be on 31 Aug.. and now i find that i'm preggie.. i do have a job waiting as the company who is taking over a few of our brands is keen to offer me. but now i'm not even sure if i would still be able to take up the job offer especially in my current situation. i have seen alot of discrimination in the span of my career and i know with the revelation of my pregnancy, there will be a high chance that they would probably rethink their offer.
as for your case, you are quite lucky that you are already adapting well in your new job, however you might want to focus on building up the relationship with ur bosses before you let them know..

Hi Naive2310,

Thanks for penning down your thoughts and advice

I would also struggle the same if I am faced with your situation. Perhaps, go with your instincts. Would honesty work better in your case since it is a matter of time we have to reveal the pregnancy? In my previous company, I have seen bosses hiring new staff with full knowledge that they are pregnant - so you may not know how the new company might react in your case. Again there are a lot of factors at play here. Another would also be your financial stability and whether you can cope without a job for a period of time.

Although I have been making contributions, I feel that I am only given work on a very ad-hoc basis and am under-utilised. What you said about building up the relationship with bosses made a lot of sense to me. I do have plans to have a chat with my immediate boss to see what else I can do. Hopefully, they will be able to see my "worth" and not react too adversely to the news later on.

I wish that you can find peace in your final decision and that things will work out smoothly for you at the end of the day

 

[illya16]

Hi all,

I am a Feb '16 mother-to-be.

My husband and I got married in last September. At first, starting a family was not in our immediate plan but as we progressed into married life we finally felt that it was time.

We tried to conceive for about 4 months and nothing happened. At the same time, I was feeling stressed and unhappy about work. Changing job was constantly on my mind. After some thought, I decided to quit my job and to start another, shelving my baby plans aside.

In end Apr I found a new job and started working in a new company in mid May. The two weeks break I had before starting my new job was fantastic - I had time for myself and my family, felt recharged and my spirits were lifted. During this time, my husband and I decided not to have a baby until I am more settled into my new job, but if things happened it would have been meant to be.

So, as you would have guessed it, little did I expect a BFP in end June...

I am now stuck in a sticky situation. I am about 10 weeks along and have been thinking how I should inform my bosses about my pregnancy without sabotaging my career. During the job interview, the topic of having kids was never brought up and based on what I have observed the culture here is family-friendly (I am working in a government agency). I have also checked that I would qualify for the maternity benefits so long as I have 3 months of service ( I just hit 2). I am feeling really grateful that my pregnancy has been rather smooth so far - apart from extreme fatigue I feel fine most of the time, so I have been making contributions at work to the best of my ability. I plan to speak to my boss once I am over my first trimester. Although I have my plans worked out I can't help but wonder how will my bosses take to this news, given that I am so new to the job and perhaps, have yet to prove my worth.

Any advice or assurance will be v v appreciated. Thank you for reading this post

Hi biehive, I believe you and I are similar in a way. I also just started work in mid May this year. During my interview, I told my manager that I don't have plans to get preggie till maybe about next year. But things happened. I'm now reaching 10 weeks.

I found out I was pregnant when I was 5 weeks along. Initially didn't want to tell my manager as I'm still in the probation period. But my symptoms were really bad till the extend that my manager was pissed off, asking why do I always look so sick, not nice for company image especially when I'm doing the front line job. That's when I told her, she took it really well, saying that she's a mother as well, she understands. Even gave me my own chair to sit(my job requires us to stand throughout the shift). Word spread quickly and now all my colleagues know about my situation. All of them are really cool about it, everyone is helping me as much as they can.

I believe you can just tell the truth to your boss. They can't terminate you for being pregnant. So do not worry about it. Cheer up and enjoy your pregnancy. That's the best you can do for now.

 

[biehive]

Hi Illya16,

Your post just gave me the confidence to do whatever I need to do. Thanks and I am glad it has turned out fine for u! I wish u a smooth pregnancy! I guess we have around the same EDD. If you are interested u can join us at the feb 16 mummies fb group

 

[illya16]

Don't worry. It will turn out fine for you too.

I'll probably join the group after my first trimester. Want to keep things hush hush in fb for now

I hope you have a smooth pregnancy too! Enjoy this process

 

[naive2310]

Hi Naive2310,

Thanks for penning down your thoughts and advice

I would also struggle the same if I am faced with your situation. Perhaps, go with your instincts. Would honesty work better in your case since it is a matter of time we have to reveal the pregnancy? In my previous company, I have seen bosses hiring new staff with full knowledge that they are pregnant - so you may not know how the new company might react in your case. Again there are a lot of factors at play here. Another would also be your financial stability and whether you can cope without a job for a period of time.

Although I have been making contributions, I feel that I am only given work on a very ad-hoc basis and am under-utilised. What you said about building up the relationship with bosses made a lot of sense to me. I do have plans to have a chat with my immediate boss to see what else I can do. Hopefully, they will be able to see my "worth" and not react too adversely to the news later on.

I wish that you can find peace in your final decision and that things will work out smoothly for you at the end of the day

thanks for the encouragement! I think there would be a high chance I would not be taking up the job offer as the job would probably be highly stressful... and I'm not sure if I want to subject myself to such pressure. I just hope that I will not be feeling too bored throughout the pregnancy as I am so used to the fast paced lifestyle all the while..