! Should i divorce with him

Hi James

But if her working hours are so odd, if you are able to prove that her working hours are not conducive for looking after children as compared to you, wouldn't you stand a higher chance?
 


@Yuki. I had told my lawyer that. The lawyer said that might not be taken into consideration as she can can her working hours.

Therefore that is totally against me.
 
James, my lawyer told me this. If u have any evidence that might help u, just present it. If she wan to lie, let her be. If she say she is working so irregularly, then get her to give it in writing, after that write in to the company.
 
Hi Nikki,

I do not keep evidence for her late nights. (When was the last time you keep records of your spouse's timing home?)

My neighbours, my previous tenant and my maid can provide some information on her late nights.

The company, AMWAY is a multi-level-marketing company. They will entice their members to "talk business talk" to others and they do not tell them when to go. So they do not keep records of individual "member"'s timing.

My Neighbours, my previous tenant and my maid are all willing to come up to provide affidavits, but my lawyer said the courts are not too interested in 3rd parties affidavits and since my children are young, there will most probably be a social welfare report that are to be ordered a few months down the road and I can present these to the social workers for the welfare reports.
 
Why are marriage so fragile nowadays? And also very complicated when it comes to divorce. It takes very easy to get married but it takes a very long procedure and draggy when it comes to divorce too. Feels so sry for the kids as they are so innocent. Really very vexed and also dunno what to do with my second child.
sad.gif
 
james, just highlight this in your court paper, let her do the explaining. I am advising u this is because, last time I encounter a lawyer, everything I bought up, she will press me down with a explanation. But in the end, my husband bought up many things against me, which he did even have prove, in the end, he paint a bad picture of me. Later, I was told my a close friend, some lawyers are lazy, they don't like to file all this in the court paper, they wan to get over this asap.
 
So Nikki, what happened thereafter?

For the divorce part, my lawyer is definitely a very good one. It is the custody, care and control part which I am worried about.

She overthrow all the accusation by my wife against me and advised me correctly to led to a divorce based on her infidelity instead of my non-existence "unreasonable behaviour".

But for care and control of my children, a lot of information she said it is either not important or the court will not accept so many 3rd party evidences. (Shouldn't testimony be more reliable if it is provided by a 3rd party then a 1st party?)
 
James K, he successfully able to get joint custody and weekend access to my child.

I think have to pro-active instead of re-active in the court case. Did u used any PI report to used against her or did your lawyer managed to use her reasoning to prove the evidence?

Any lawyer will be able to advice u to get a PI to get infidelity evidence. As with the PI report, they just need the report to file. Don't have to explain much. if u had use PI evidence, isn't it 3rd party evidence? then why not for custody.

What I see is get a lawyer who see your points and fight based on what u want, then like me regret in the future for not doing more.
 
Nikki,

It is both. She used her reasoning to prove that my wife's accusation is ridiculous and use the PI report against her coupled with the facts reasoning like "why is she cohabiting with a male partner who claimed to be her tenant when there are enough rooms in the matrimonial flat and the fact her partner's house is crowded"

For your case, I think weekend access to your husband might be quite fair as I understand that is the norm for husbands who did not get the care and control of the children.

She mentioned excessive affidavits from 3rd parties will serve to annoy the court.
 
James K, this is all for the future of your children, if it's reasonable, why would the court be annoyed. My good lawyer told me, to go to war u need a lot of ammunitions and for a lawyer to go to the court, she needs lots and lots of evidence and 3rd affidavits to win the case. If it's to prove to the court your points, it's not excessive.
 
真的有必要离婚吗？

Divorce must really think twice. It may not be the only option.

I am offering my "second" last help for couple before going for divorce. I will do a marriage compatibility analysis (双方八字大卦合婚法) between husband and wife.

八字真的不合，或者，夫克妻、妻克夫，那么生活在一起，也是互相连累。However, who knows it may be a perfect couple match?! It is pitiful and heart-breaking to see couple (especially with children suffering) filing for seperation.

八字大卦合婚揭晓之后，再做决定也不迟。

Of course, no charge for those are about and really going to divorce.
 
Imagine telling a straying spouse "Pls dun leave the family....our bazi is very compatible...we are the perfect couple!!"?????
 
Dear nikki (newlife2010),

Let me explain.

如果，夫妇的八字和婚配真的非常合，又有孩子的话，可以考虑。如果，丈夫笨到把整只牛牵回家的话，真的是太过份了。这种男人要好好教训。看看丈夫犯的错严重性，能不能为孩子设想，容忍一切。

倘若，夫妇彼此八字和婚配合不来的话，又有孩子，也得要仔细考虑。真的很痛苦，没有办法原谅或接受丈夫犯的错，那么各走各的未尝不是坏事。

清官难断家务事 - When husband and wife quarrel, outsider (like me) unable to interfere. Probably, professional marriage counseling (some are paid to to do the job) might helps.

要经历离婚不是容易的事。我只能劝夫妇好好商量。我做为第三者，只能在命理方面提供小小意见。<u>我从不收“黑心”钱，也没有得到利益</u>。我至今相信，一人要是一头雾水又主张劝人离婚/堕胎恐怕会有报应。

若以上写得不合意，请原谅。​
 
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Dear J55 (j55),

There are many considering factors besides bazi.

首先，你要明白每一个人的八字不一样。只要八字排出来，我就知道对方的性格以及个性。个人到底有没有烂桃花、性欲强不强、有没有滥交、八字都能看得出。

I have briefly explained in this post:
http://singaporemotherhood.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/show.cgi?tpc=5&amp;post=17976708#POST17976708

如果，真的无可救药，优先要考虑的是孩子的成长过程和年龄，然后才作决定是否要离婚。如果没有孩子，离婚收场或许会双方能够找到解脱。

Case study 1
先生和太太八字吻合。太太有辅助先生的命格。只是一时的贪玩搞了女人，结果闹离婚。离婚之后，先生破产，太太拿了赡养费。后来，太太没有经济来源，孩子搓学（enter boys' home and got killed in the fight）. 妈妈过度伤心自杀了。

Case study 2
先生和太太八字非常吻合。只是先生糊涂搞了女人，之后夫妇离婚。先生另娶，组织了幸福家庭，儿子刚考完‘O’Level。那么，先生的前妻，至今孤独一人。先生的前妻八字注定有一段姻缘，也就很可惜没有了。

Of course, there are many case studies lah. I can't write out all mah. :)
 
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Dear sha (suspicion),

Do not get angry first.

你信则有，不信则无。

No 1. I do not have to convince everybody.
No 2. 你若要选择离婚，尽管去没有人阻止你。
 
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I believe in mine own destiny.. Whether I wan a divorce I don't need a 3rd party to advice me of my future. I am in charge of my own future.

U are talking as if god give u special power and u are able to accurately read a person character and his future. Even the best feng shui master don't dare to claim that.
 
Jolyon, sometimes to divorce or not is not just by looking at bazi, even if we wan to save the marriage, if the husband too engross over the other women, what we can do. Beg him to stay and frighten him with the 2 story u stated?

Also don't u think u are too extreme to frighten mummies here if divorce without consulting your bazi reading the consequence will be disaster? I know of many many cases where the mummies are happily divorce and the person who become worse is the husband because the other cheated all his money and he lost everything.
 
sha has a point on the case for many cases where the mummies are happily divorced and the person who became worse is the husband.......... and other cheated all his money n he lost everything.

it did nearly happen in my case and in the end he wanted me to forgive n forget n reconcile for the son sake. in fact he did lost almost everything including the final present from his bitchy woman which was STD.. which was worse for his ego.. Nevermind despites all this, Justice does have a long arm. I wished he is struck real hard with HIV virus but it is this STD this time for him -enough for him to be serious n stop playing. i even went on to tell my close friends not to play with my husband if he ever tempted to ask them behind my back as he was infected last time.
 
maybe Joylyon can help to read his Bazi to see whether he will get STD. Ha ha ha.

If all future is in the bazi then we also no need to work, see doctor and just wait for it to happen.

Just joking, don't be offended
 
yes, I feel you are overstaing things here. I am divorced but I didn't suffer in the 'extreme' state u wrote.

I feel u have over stated your 'power'. how many years u have been practicing 'Bazi reading', how many cases u have predicted and it come truth. I know u might be trying to help, but if u are not really competence, u might do more harm to mummies here then helping them.
 
Juz to share my experience with this Bazi thingy... well... my ex husband's mother was also doing these Bazi thingy and people paid thousands of dollars to get their 'fortune' told... and I am quite sure she read our Bazi too... but we also ended up divorced... and I am better off with him... though my ex MIL warn or "cursed" me that I will be worst off... in my worst state of life without my ex...

Frankly... I dun give a shit.. You should do whatever is right with your life... it's what you want and not what the Bazi want.

Though I do believe that it may be my past life owe him de... so I pay back in this life... but in any case, I have paid off with my best years, and I would like to spend the rest of my years for myself and not paying off debts...

I am not saying here that you should divorce or not... but the decision on divorcing should lie on the feeling you have for your hubby... whether if it is still worthwhile to stay together...

For one, I am happy now... though I dun have a stable job... have to pay for the instalment for the house... but at least, my mind is clear and happy... I dun need to cry myself to sleep everynite... wondering which women's arm he's in... or will I get STD or AIDS coz of him...
 
yuki, I agree with u.

since your ex mil, know those bazi thingy, she should have read both of yours before u got married. If really she able to predict 'fortune' then she would have rejected the wedding as she would know ultimately both of u would have end in divorce.

Also many times, those people will normally use scare tactics to force people to believed them, if not they warn misfortune will befall them.
 
Dear All,

I did apologised in this thread. and I do not why why it got deleted.

1. 我从来没有得到($)金钱利益($)，也没有得到好处。
2. 劝善不离婚也会给人说到一文不值。遭到恶毒口攻击真是可悲。

I have stopped posting in this thread，免得误会深。善哉、善哉.

If I have offended anybody, please forgive.
 
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If our ba zi is so "gum", but my HB decided that he wants a new woman in his life to bring him happiness, what do you think I should be doing?

Clearly, he doesn't want me anymore. So do you think I should stick around just becuz our ba zi is huan he?

Or if my ba zi say that I will only married once to a bastard, then I must stay married to a bastard? Or else be lonely? So option is be miserable stay married, be lonely and happy get divorced?
 
Misery!!!!!! Keep changing my appointment. Agreed on a specific appointment yet tell me last minute that he can't meet me and operate only 2 hours per day. Expect me what? Wait and wait and wait?? The receptionist even worst.
 
No, I have not. But why not you call to ask?

Also, I heard from friends who went through divorce that judge tend to "favour" experienced, good divorce lawyers, since they present orderly documents and not waste/drag time unnecessarily.

As the judge has tons of people to see each day, they tend to be impatient. I have witnessed a "cowboy" lawyer thrown out of court by a judge, for being "stupid" ... he has no relevant/supporting evidence, and talking through his nose, fighting very hard for his client on no basis. He just wanna fight for the sake of fighting, so the judge ask him to leave. Do his homework, and schedule another court date 3 months down the road.
 
Ya... you are right... my ex's lawyer really sucky... everything dunno... gotta check with my lawyer... dunno the procedures and everything...

Some "divorce" laywer are really juz know prepare paper work for u to sign when everything has been agreed on... but when come to fight for the case... knows nothing de...

My lawyer paints mi a realistic picture of what to expect at least... And wun waste time on unnecessary affadvits so as to save money.
 
if u have the means, better to get a good private one. I heard sometimes those legal aid one are busy, and they will delay and delay. Also the commitment are not as good as private one
 
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