lonely&sad
New Member
Hi all,
I am a guy here and I thought I could use this thread to seek advice from members of the fairer sex. I am in a dilemma now, and I guess guys will just give me a certain answer to my question.
I know my wife 10 years ago. Only after being together, did I know that she is from a complicated family facing financial difficulties. Most people I guess will simply ignore their plight. But I took up the burden of taking care of her and her family. I only started working at that time and was a really poor chap. I would skipped my own breakfast and/or lunch, just so that I could save the money to buy groceries and daily necessities for her family.
She lost her dad at a young age and her mother is mentally unstable. As a result, she would always get beaten up by her mother. I thought it was my responsibilities to take care of her and found her one of those homes where she went to stay for a while. But this kind of subsidised home will only allow you to stay for a short period of time. In the end, I had no choice but to bring her back to my parents' house to stay without informing my family of course. We have to share a room with my brother and he was really unhappy about it. My mother came to dislike her eventually as she is really lazy. Which mother would bear to see her own son wash the clothes including undergarments of his girlfriend? That was when I decide to teach her a lesson, to let her to wake up. I started texting a close female friend and still leaving those intimate messages on just for her to notice. It was a selfish act I know, and that cause her to be heartbroken. I felt really grief stricken and asked her for forgiveness. Till today, it's something she will bring up whenever we quarrel.
4 years ago, we decided to get married despite not having enough savings. I was still taking care of her family, and spending at least a thousand or two on her and her family each month. And this is the main reason we only went through ROM, no traditional wedding ceremony, wedding banquet or whatsoever. However, I did tell her I will make it up in the future.
As I started to earn more, I started bringing her to restaurants. I would bring her to those premium theatres for movies regularly. I gave her more monthly allowance. Planned ahead for our wedding anniversaries and her birthdays. Apart from supporting her financially, I did all the household chores at home, I even have to buy sanitary pads for her. I consider myself a good husband. Despite doing all these, she started to change around mid 2012. She started going out at night with friends, sometimes not even coming home for 2-3 days straight. I can go to bed alone, and go out for work the next day without seeing her. I suspected her having an affair but chose to believe that she was just out with friends. Finally towards the end of 2012, she told me she wants to go on a trip with her friends and I paid for all the expenses, even buying a new bag and an iPad mini because she asked for them. But alas, I found out on the day she flew off that she went to India instead of Hong Kong. Only then am I sure she has been having an affair. Despite her doing this, I still begged for her to be back. Yet she said that I'm like her father than her husband because I nag too much. Only when I said I will apply for divorce did she agree to be back, but that will be a month later. In the meantime, I found out that she has been spending money on the other guy using the supplementary credit card I provided for her. I was devastated.
She has been back for a year now. During the past one year, I have been trying to save our marriage. I still treat her the same as prior to her leaving the country. I am hoping that she will change for the better. But sad to say, she continue with her ways and I caught her having affairs with 2 other guys during this one year. She has been asking for a divorce for a whole year., and I had no choice but to apply for it. I see no future with her behaviour.
She just signed the papers and I already sent it up for final approval. All of a sudden, she asked me to go back to her after I went to a chalet without being home for 2 days.
I would like to seek advice from all of you now. Is there any way to stop the court from processing a submitted divorce documents? If possible, should I still save our marriage? Despite me being good to her, she continue having affairs and even admitted to having sex with them. Should I still give her a chance or simply move on?
I am a guy here and I thought I could use this thread to seek advice from members of the fairer sex. I am in a dilemma now, and I guess guys will just give me a certain answer to my question.
I know my wife 10 years ago. Only after being together, did I know that she is from a complicated family facing financial difficulties. Most people I guess will simply ignore their plight. But I took up the burden of taking care of her and her family. I only started working at that time and was a really poor chap. I would skipped my own breakfast and/or lunch, just so that I could save the money to buy groceries and daily necessities for her family.
She lost her dad at a young age and her mother is mentally unstable. As a result, she would always get beaten up by her mother. I thought it was my responsibilities to take care of her and found her one of those homes where she went to stay for a while. But this kind of subsidised home will only allow you to stay for a short period of time. In the end, I had no choice but to bring her back to my parents' house to stay without informing my family of course. We have to share a room with my brother and he was really unhappy about it. My mother came to dislike her eventually as she is really lazy. Which mother would bear to see her own son wash the clothes including undergarments of his girlfriend? That was when I decide to teach her a lesson, to let her to wake up. I started texting a close female friend and still leaving those intimate messages on just for her to notice. It was a selfish act I know, and that cause her to be heartbroken. I felt really grief stricken and asked her for forgiveness. Till today, it's something she will bring up whenever we quarrel.
4 years ago, we decided to get married despite not having enough savings. I was still taking care of her family, and spending at least a thousand or two on her and her family each month. And this is the main reason we only went through ROM, no traditional wedding ceremony, wedding banquet or whatsoever. However, I did tell her I will make it up in the future.
As I started to earn more, I started bringing her to restaurants. I would bring her to those premium theatres for movies regularly. I gave her more monthly allowance. Planned ahead for our wedding anniversaries and her birthdays. Apart from supporting her financially, I did all the household chores at home, I even have to buy sanitary pads for her. I consider myself a good husband. Despite doing all these, she started to change around mid 2012. She started going out at night with friends, sometimes not even coming home for 2-3 days straight. I can go to bed alone, and go out for work the next day without seeing her. I suspected her having an affair but chose to believe that she was just out with friends. Finally towards the end of 2012, she told me she wants to go on a trip with her friends and I paid for all the expenses, even buying a new bag and an iPad mini because she asked for them. But alas, I found out on the day she flew off that she went to India instead of Hong Kong. Only then am I sure she has been having an affair. Despite her doing this, I still begged for her to be back. Yet she said that I'm like her father than her husband because I nag too much. Only when I said I will apply for divorce did she agree to be back, but that will be a month later. In the meantime, I found out that she has been spending money on the other guy using the supplementary credit card I provided for her. I was devastated.
She has been back for a year now. During the past one year, I have been trying to save our marriage. I still treat her the same as prior to her leaving the country. I am hoping that she will change for the better. But sad to say, she continue with her ways and I caught her having affairs with 2 other guys during this one year. She has been asking for a divorce for a whole year., and I had no choice but to apply for it. I see no future with her behaviour.
She just signed the papers and I already sent it up for final approval. All of a sudden, she asked me to go back to her after I went to a chalet without being home for 2 days.
I would like to seek advice from all of you now. Is there any way to stop the court from processing a submitted divorce documents? If possible, should I still save our marriage? Despite me being good to her, she continue having affairs and even admitted to having sex with them. Should I still give her a chance or simply move on?