Really need advise..

[BrokenLily]

Hi,am new here.
Am married for 15yrs...since 1st my hubby was mentally abuse me to the point of instill fear. At the beginning I still tried to help hubby as his background he had experienced of being abuse. Until I experienced depression and almost divorce him in 2006. Then he tried his best to change. He was improved for 4 yrs with no incidents of mental abuse anymore. Until 3 yrs ago his business was failing and there was a point when he got exploded in anger, he attack me and daughter until my daughter experience crack in her foot. I brought my daughter to KKH. I still tried to find solution so we were referred by one counselling agency to SIngapore Children Society. And our pastor is deeply involved. It was quiet and seemed all ok until 6 Dec 2013 when hubby talk to my child that he planned to hurt me.

I applied PPO in Jan 2014. He didn't contest as he didn't deny all that he did. But this one year, he relapsed his explosive anger for few times until the last time was this 12Jan2015.
Am at point of no return. We are still under compulsory counselling from Court (due to PPO) and he is still nzing counselled by our pastor.
Can anybody give me suggestion? For the past 15years I also can't work as my daughter has a severe bronchitis so it is impossible to leave her at childcare+hubby is required to travel intensively by job.
Am thinking to apply this year after my daughter's PSLE.
Is there any recommendation of lawyer? Will Singapore Family Court can help to provide pro bono lawyer?
Is there any non-profit organization that can help?

For all advise, i will really appreciate.
Thanks

 

[toblerone]

你跟这位妈妈同样遭遇 (click here to read her thread).

前世你欺负他。所有欠他的，今世统统要讨回来。求佛菩萨没办法的。

你的老公是受到精神困扰、压力，没有地方发泄。生意失败，没钱/亏钱，还有家庭的经济负担，搞到他沮丧。看老婆女儿不顺眼，妻子一开口顶嘴，就当你是出气筒嘛！If you are working and have big savings, I bet it is going to be different story. 你说是不是？

古人一句话 - 贫贱夫妻百事哀。When family breaks apart, it is usually either because of 'woman' or 'money'. In your case, it is money issue.

离婚不是一个办法。找人帮忙，看看有谁愿意（义务）照顾你女儿，然后你去找工作。女儿小六了，应该懂事了。拖到念完中学，算松一口气了。

你若有工作有很多好处的，

• 第一 不会常常看到他的脸！
• 第二 不用看他的脸色！
• 第三 不用跟他伸手要钱！

(those born in the 70s) 70后结婚，基本要求 - motorcycle, HDB
(those born in the 80s) 80后结婚，基本要求 - car, EC
(those born in the 90s) 90后结婚，基本要求 - bigger car, condo
(those born in the 00s) 00后结婚，基本要求 - no need to say... ...

你看看这个thread (click here), 有钱要有孩子，可就是生不出。你是有孩子，却闹到家庭不和谐(家婆不好、老公外遇等等)。You see, no children got problem. Those have children also got problem!

 

[frog]

Doesn't a PPO makes it illegal for him to be near you? No physical and any other form of contact. How could he abusive?

Anyway, more importantly, you need to leave such an abusive environment because you need to show it to your daughter that it is NOT OKAY to be abused. SAY NO to ANY FORM OF ABUSE. This is an important lesson to your daughter, and you need to show and teach her this personally, with your actions. There is a lot of help available. If unsure, you can start at MP session and see what kind of support is available.