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Pregnant but confused

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by mindy_99, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. mindy_99

    mindy_99 New Member

    I am feeling very down now and need advice, i think even though i am pregnant but my DH doesnt care about me, when i told him that i was positive, he doesnt seems especially excited maybe bec he had a child in his previous marriage, he ask me to help him queue up to buy something while he happily wait in the car, i told him i was tired, and he said that means all pregnant woman dont need to work already, but cant he understand i am feeling tired ... very sad right now, why as a man he cant show concern to a pregnant lady, even a stranger on the street will treat me better than this! [​IMG]

  2. eunicec82

    eunicec82 New Member

    Hi Mindy,

    Dun think so much. Some men just won't appreciate. They think they are always right and we are always wrong. It's nice to have a baby. though you have to do everything yourself but i find it worthwhile.
    I have a daughter and i did everything myself. I have divorced and remarry. I yearned for a BB as well. Just like the same case as yours i guessed. His previous marriage has a kid therefore when i feel like having a baby there always full of excuses of not wanting. So i gave up thinking. But lucky i have my own daughter. Therefore as least i have child of my own.

    It's a blessing to have a baby. you will not regret it unless you are thinking your marriage touch wood will fail then you might think of the alternative. But nevertheless think of those ppl around you who wish to have babies yet dun have the chance or ppl like me thinking to have but yet not given a chance to have so you are considered very fortunate.

    Try talking to your husband again. Take care..
    Preggy mummy must be happy. I understand how you feel. I have gone through shit. Though my husband now loves me alot but there are still alot of other things that is driving me nuts...

  3. jackprolinear

    jackprolinear New Member

    Some men are like that. But don't worry too much, as Eunice mentioned you must be happy...for your bb's sake.

    But what you can do is to try and involve your hubby as much as possible in your pregnancy...i.e. ask him to follow you for your doc's visit, tell him about the stages of the bb in your tummy, etc.
  4. annedrew

    annedrew Member


    Dun worry! As what the two mothers said previously, many men are like tt! Their excitement ends after the 1st new born. When I was preggy with the third, ard 8 mths time, my hubby still ask me to get down the car and buy things when I was feeling bery sick tt day! In the end, I nearly cant make it back to the car and was admitted to the hospital for early contraction...

    Take it easy and look on the bright side! You need to be happy then your baby when born will be a happy baby!

    Most importantly, take good care of yourself!
  5. jynncarol

    jynncarol New Member

    I heard many told me about this type of attitude when having 2nd child onward, seems like it is quite true, very upset
  6. bboy

    bboy Member


    agreed with oth mom. it's a blessing to have baby. god gift. all men r same same. my hubby didnt feel the excitement too. basically like boh cak when i pregnant but now bb is his world. he loves bb so much. involve your hubby as much as possible. let him feel the bb kick n etc. Take Care Yeah.
  7. highvolt

    highvolt Active Member

    HI mindy,
    Men tends to be insensitive sometimes and some even irresponsible. I have nothing against men, just tat both my father and FIL are great example of such types.

    My mum and MIL worked really hard to bring up their children and their determination paid off. We are so so glad and grateful to have such strong mummies who loved us wholeheartedly and unconditionally even without support from our fathers.

    So do your child the greatest favour. Be strong and happy for it. Brave watever storms which comes your way and when they grow up, you know tat all tat you'd done is so worth it....
  8. eunicec82

    eunicec82 New Member

    Hi Mindy..

    I believe everyone is happy for you to have a child and the best part is all of us are woman and are happy for you to have your own baby.

    I hope you regain your confidence. Just keep your baby. Ok. Don't think so much.

    Remember, not everybody get to have the chance to have a baby and you have it so treasure it. Think of those who wants and yet they cannot conceive or think of those who wish to have yet their partner refused.

    Take Care.. Hope you are feeling much better.

  9. e5th3r

    e5th3r New Member

    Hi Mindy,

    I sympathise with you. My ex-husband was surprised I was pregnant and was not happy we only have sex a couple of times and I got pregnant. He didn't want the child, suggested to send his first and only child for adoption! When I was 3 months pregnant, he wanted me to paint the house and fix the furniture, saying I'm giving excuse to be lazy and that the paint was bio-friendly. My last month of pregnancy, in order not to pick up a fight with my ex, I quietly fix and put 3 empty boxes up the top of our high wardrobe by standing at the edge of the bed. The next day, my waterbag burst because of this.

    My present husband was so happy I was pregnant although he already has a child in his previous marriage. It's really a joy to see your child smiling and laughing at you.
  10. mummywannabe

    mummywannabe Active Member


    You must be strong not only for yourself but for your baby... A happy mum will create happiness and healthiness for bb.

    Your bb will love and appreciate you in the later life.. Just bear with it for now. Your husband will learn whats right and wrong later hopefully...
  11. miorei

    miorei Member


    i agree with mummywannabe. be strong for ur child. jia you!!!
  12. justforgags

    justforgags New Member

    hey thr mindy, tis is wat i hv heard tat when women r preggy nt all pregnancies r smooth but we always hope for the best n seems like most of the mummies here r emotionally affected at how their hubby treat them during pregnancy, i find that its just a test tat god wanna gv us, to c how we react.. do we hv patience? endurance? n so on cz we need all those attitude to bring up a child.. But once hubby start to c his bundle of joy most of them will melt lookin at the wonders they hv made 9mths ago;) These r frm my point of view tat i c in my guy friends.. Nt a mummy myself as im trying for 1 anytime.. Jz take tis as a test ok.. Breath in n out n count for 10sec to release those tension;) i do tat wen i freak out n it wrks..
  13. yan_law

    yan_law New Member

    Hi mindy

    Im in the same situation as u, husband have 2 kids from previous marriage.. im now abt 4 mths preg... so far he oso dun care much.. and will complain im lazy coz im always tired and will compare me to his ex... to make it worse i have a terrible mil.. but i start to ignore them all and concentrate on taking care of myself and get ready for my coming delivery... be strong, your baby will need u alot in time to come so i guess try to do things on our own than think of depending on the men... stay strong and take care..
  14. fightingdad

    fightingdad New Member

    Hi Mindy,

    Be strong and never feels sad. I am a proud dad of a premature baby girl and baby Danya is still fighting strong. Remember, you need to be strong for your baby. If your man is a numskull, you must fight bravely to protect your little one. The joy of bringing the little one to this world is unimaginable. Be Brave, Be Strong, Be Positive & Give Your Best Without Any Regrets.
  15. choiceessentials

    choiceessentials New Member

    Hi Mindy,

    Oh dear..certainly you have our sympathy.

    Agree with the rest.. you certainly have to be strong. Stay positive and be happy to await the arrival of your baby.

    You may not have the support from your hubby.. but I'm sure you have your family, your siblings and your friends to count on.

    More importantly, enjoy your pregnancy.. look forward to greeting your child. Divert your negative energy to seeing how you can have a healthy baby by reading to be more knowledgeable.. by eating healthily...exercise within your means...

    Take care, my dear.
  16. whitetiramisu

    whitetiramisu New Member

    my partner is going through divorce, with a child from previous marraige.

    his ex wife is currently looking after their girl

    he visit his girl once a mth or once every 2 mths (depend on his work). as their girl is still very young, he cant manage her if he were to bring her out alone. so his visit will involved his ex and their daughter, in their outing.

    our relationship was once on the rocky stage in the past when he was going through his divorce proceedings. Reason due to, when he brings them for outing and spent time, his feelings shaken on whether he should divorce. there was a period where he on hold his divorce as he was uncertain.

    despite now he had made up his mind on going ahead with the divorce ( to be with me) , his visit to his daughter worries me.

    I am confused.

    By letting him on the visit again, am I allowing chance to jeopardise my relationship with him??


    Should I be selfish and forbid him to see them anymore? ( Deep inside me, I feel cruel to do so )

    Any advice....
  17. 1aughing

    1aughing New Member

    Hi tiramisu

    Letting him on the visit might be better as you know that he is exposed to his ex rather than the selfish method and when he quiet visits his child with ex, that smells more problems in the making for you. My sense though.
  18. 1aughing

    1aughing New Member

    Hi mindy,

    as some mummies mentioned, try to get your hubby involved in your preggy stage by getting him to visit gynae together, shop for baby stuff together, watch some DVDs related to babies, listen to some soothing music meant for BB at home.

    If all these dun work, no point quarrelling with him at this preggy stage, he does not care, but you care for the child right. Be STRONG!

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