My mother in law is a monster

angeline_su

angeline_su

Member
I don't like her. We cannot get along. She stay very far from us. But she likes to involve in everything. If ppl don't know her well, they think she is very friendly and soft spoken lady. But the true is she likes to gossips, back stabbing and don't care about other ppl feeling.
I'm married for almost 7yrs. During my 7yrs of marriage, she gave a lot of problem (emotionally) for us from far.
My hubby is staying with my parents. She doesn't like the idea. So she always bad mouth about my parents (which I found out from my husband and my bro in law's wife). My parents didn't do anything to offend her. In fact, my mom even thinks my mil is very friendly and nice lady. My mom doesn't know about I cannot get along with my mil and her true personality.
There r a lot, a lot of bad things about my mil which cannot be finished in typing.
Now, come to the point that I don't even want to see her face anymore in my life. Although she stays far, there will be occasions which we can't avoid each other. But my mind is set not to see her anymore. Any advise that I'm doing the right thing?
I know there r a lot of bad mil out there. But I just feel that mine is one of the worst. Sigh...
 


My dear,
I was in your shoes previously.
I had a few heated arguements with my MIL and we even stopped talking for a year or 2 until things gradully calm down and I give in for the sake of my hubby.

I couldn't stand her and cannot accept her way and method of handling certain issue. At certain point of time, she really rely so much on my hubby and fortunately, we are not staying together but conflicts and disagreement still exist. Finally, I can't take it!

She is a nice lady and was respect by almost everyone, but in my eyes, these are just disguise, though i do admit that she does has her good points, but i really can't stand her petty and selfish way, my parents also cannot stand her and in the end, both parties until now never speak to each other and during occasions like my kids birthday, we have no hold 2 dinners or parties individually.

Though now i try to simply close my eyes and talk surfacely, but i know there are still barrier and thorns inside each other heart, just that we do not wish to let my husband, his son be in the difficult position as he also dote my husband.

Whatever it is, i really understand where you are coming from, it is either you continue to tolerate with all these problems, or even if you fall out with her, you might also have to faced another set of problems, this you have to analysis which set of problem will make you feels better.

Just sharing though can't help, but seriously, for long term, i think you might want to consider just close eyes to "tahan" unless really have no other solution.

Just my two cents thoughts.

Cheers
 
Heeheesan,
Tks for sharing your experience and thoughts...
I also thought about close eyes for yrs..
Two yrs ago, we didn't talk each other for about a yr. Actually not me. It was my mil that refused to talk to me, refused to reply my email, she even took me out from her family list which my hubby was also quite upset about it. The reason? My hubby deactivated his Facebook acc for some reasons. She thought I was behind it and was very unhappy about it. That's how much she likes to involve in our marriage. And she likes to make things big from small. She didn't talk to me until I got pregnant. I swallow my pride and pretend like nothing happen for my husband's sake. My bro in law's wife also share the same thought with me that my mil likes to involve a lot in couples' matters. Even the couples are happy, she still unhappy.
Now I think she is getting worse from bad. Hmmm, I'm sorry to say this. I really hate her.
 
I used to think that my mil is quite jialat type during my first 2 years of marriage due to her frequent involvement in matters that concerns me n hubby... so I can relate to the feelings you had. My mil is quite emotional person n she will cry over the slightest issue like she is being bullied by everyone. I even felt I had to avoid her at one stage cos I was totally clueless how to handle a drama mil
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. One day I realised actually she just wanted to feel respected and that her son still loves her as much as before. So I kept asking my hubby to call her often , buy gifts for her and speak sweet words to her. It worked! She feels happier and also gave us the space without intruding over matters that does not concern her.
I think we can somehow try to put ourselves in their shoes. The possessive type of mother sure feel somehow they lose their son. Hormornes do play a part especially menopause....Now I see my mil as an extended help with my kids instead of a problem....think of it this way, one day you might grow old too n probably can understand how they feel
 
Babyink, tks for sharing..
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Yes. I know one day we might grow old too. But after closing eyes for more many yrs how she has been treating me, I finally broke down.
she even wants my husband to stay get close to his ex girlfriend (which both me and my hubby thinks it's not a good idea). Even forced me to go and visit my husband ex. OMG!!! When I refused she told my hubby that she can't understand why I don't want to visit my husband's ex just for a chat.
At the end, I cried and went to visit my hubby's ex's house together with my hubby. That was a few yrs back. Then, she will show how much she cares about her son's ex on Facebook. My hubby told me that he also doesn't understand why his mom is doing that. And now he is on my side. At the same time, I feel bad that my hubby will be in difficult position if the situation get worst. But she is obviously getting worst.
 
Hi Angeline,
I think your mil is trying to get attention from your hubby.She is feeling insecure, empty & lonely. After all, his son has been living with her for so many years & suddenly he did not live with her anymore & living so far away. She may not realise that her actions are immature. Maybe you can view it from another angle. She gave birth to your hubby, brought him up & it is not easy. without her, you won't have such a nice hubby. Sincerely treat her like your own mother & one day, she will understand that she is being overly sensitive. She is now old & may not have many years ahead. Come to think of it, she is quite pitiful. I think most of the problems arise from misunderstandings. Mil most of the times think that it is the daughter in law who influence their sons. You can try what babyink has done. you can buy some supplements for her to show your concern. please don't hate her. one day if she is no longer around, you will regret hating her.
 
Mothernature, tks for the advise. Yes, after all, she gave birth to my hubby who is very good to me. Hmmm, I should try to continue close eyes the ways she is treating me and try to view from another angle. Hopefully, one day our relationship will improve..
Tks all the ladies here for sharing and advises.
 
My mother in law treats her son like a prince and treats me worse than a maid. She loves her son so much. But I am also a daughter of my parents, if her daughter is treated in the same way by her daughter's MIL, not sure how is her feeling? haha...
 
Hi Angeline,

I can understand where you are coming from. If u choose to close one eye, u must make sure that yr MIL actions does not affect you and cause you to hv a nervous breakdown. For my case, we don't stay together but instinctively I feel she does not like me esp after I had my kids. Things worsen when my husband betrayed me, on top of that my husband was never there for me when my MIL is sarcastic and I hv to defend myself. For me, I feel it is useless to close one eye and be accommodating, Nobody appreciates even when I made an effort to communicate. Anyway, I learnt a lot of things the hard way. After so much things has happened, I don't care abt how others see me. My happiness is more important, since nobody cared how i feel n my sis in law talked as if my husband is the victim in this marriage. To hv a MIL who smiles on the outside and complains abt me to her daughters is hypocrisy. I hv broke down many times before and after the betrayal. It is sad that in Asian society that parents or parents in law can do what they like even when it is emotionally abusing to their kids or their spouses, and pple still accept it. If we defend ourselves, we are seen as rude and being disrespectful. Coming from a family which has emotionally abused me from young makes matters worse when I hv such a MIL. As long boundaries are not drawn, they just keep doing it thinking it is right. I don't visit my parents in law except for CNY which is for my kids sake.

Most importantly, yr husband must be on yr side and be supportive. Without yr husband's support, you will feel more miserable. Do what is right for yr emotional, mental and physical health. Pls do not underestimate emotional stress as it is one of the causes of diseases. I hv not overcome the emotional trauma totally and my physical health has been greatly affected. Emotional stress is the most difficult to heal without the support of loved ones.
 
I emphatise with you. My MIL doesn't like me at all. As I often said, I am only a by-product of which her grandchildren are conceived. The has my housekeys, drop by a few times a day to check on my maid... to use my toilet (her place is just opposite mine), to wash hand, to put one apple for my husband... just because she can.

Sometimes I pity her (is she so lonely? she crave for communication with outside world?) She lives with the unmarried daughter with a fierry temper and they often fight. MIL wants to have a bed in my house as a reprieve from SIL. To me, this is absurd, especially if it is fully paid by MIL! The drama goes on. Talk to her, say I talk not nice. Don't talk to her, say I neh talk to her, very horrible. Either way I lose out. So I just minimise contact. My husband is caught in between but at least I am not complaining about MIL to him. MIL is always complaining about me instead. I just avoid her at all cost.

I try to not let it affect me. I try not to hate her because hate eats into oneself (and nobody else). I try to not let it affect my marriage too much. I try, and I try...
 
Frogprincess,

I agree with what you said in this sentence " I am only a by-product of which her grandchildren are conceived." I always feel that way since my first child was born. I hv avoided my in laws n minimizing communication which is the best method i hv found for myself.
 
Cheery tea, my mil loves her youngest daughter(which I cannot get along with) and she always told me to give into her daughter. She told me that I'm married to my husband and I should give into my husband's younger sister whether she is right or wrong.

Moorspa, thank you for understanding. Yes. I'm very hurt by the way she is treating me. The worst, I can feel that she doesn't want me and my hubby is getting along well (yes, I think she is trying to get attention from her son).
I'm very very hurt. But I don't want my hubby to be in difficult position. After all, he is on my side.

Frogprinecess,
I emphasize with you too. You try, you try..
I'm also trying, I'm trying... trying to swallow.
 
Angeline,

Pls be strong mentally and not be affected by MIL. It is good yr husband supports you and that should be the way. When your husband marries you, you are the first priority in his life otherwise the marriage will crumble. It is true his mother is still very attached to yr husband and can't let go even he is married. What she does is very unhealthy for her son's marriage, and I realize a lot of mothers in law behave similarly too which is sad cos they are very insecure.

As long yr husband and you know this is the obstacle you hv to go through together, both of you will become even closer. A strong marriage will not fall apart easily due to external interference. Btw, you don't hv to give in to yr sis in law if she is wrong cos if you do, you will lose respect from others. Slowly, you lose self respect too. So don't give in just to avoid conflict, you need to stand up for yrself. Be strong.
 
Moorspa, tks for encourage.. I'll be strong. You are right, what my mil doing is very unhealthy to our marriage, I can feel that she is trying to break our marriage..
Of course, I won't give in to her youngest daughter. She is very spoiled by mil..I'm sure it's one of the reason my mil is not happy with me.
 
Angeline,

She is trying to break up the marriage, such scenarios are already in dramas. She may or may not realize her actions are destroying her son's marriage. She just want her son by her side, in fact I feel a lot of mothers who cling onto their children after they are married are not happy in their own marriage, as they give 101% love n attention to their kids and they feel insecure and empty when the kids marry. If they are in a fulfilling marriage or hv an active lifestyle, I don't think these mothers would bother their sons. Some parents do not know when to let go esp when they are emotionally dependent on their kids.

As long you are not affected by her, I think she will realize in time that whatever she does to you is useless, she may give up interfering with her son's life. However, you will need a lot of patience and perseverance.
 
Moorspa, my hubby already feedback to her and asked her why she is treating me that way but she didn't answer. She still thinks she is kind hearted, forgivable and understandable person. But obviously stabbing me. And also she will go around and tell people that how good she is to her daughter in laws..
I think she won't change. I closed my eyes for many yrs but she is getting worst.
 
Moorspa, my hubby already feedback to her and asked her why she is treating me that way but she didn't answer. She still thinks she is kind hearted, forgivable and understandable person. But obviously stabbing me. And also she will go around and tell people that how good she is to her daughter in laws..
I think she won't change. I closed my eyes for many yrs but she is getting worst.
 
Angeline,

If yr mother in law is getting worse, I think you shld stand up for yrself. Sometimes I feel such pple need to learn a lesson, like what frogprincess mentioned, minimize contact with her. This will help you to cope emotionally, I feel it is the best solution as you minimize conflict and give yrself some peace as well. Just do what you think is right for yr current situation, if you don't want to see her anymore, go ahead and do it. You can be flexible when it comes to festive seasons like CNY, or other occasions which u can't avoid. Protect yrself and don't give her a chance to speak badly of u.

I still remember in the past when my MIL always asked me whether I hv enough breast milk when I go to her place for dinner. They used to hv family dinner on every weekend. I just said yes, and she will say if not enough, give my gal formula milk. I can feel she is trying to discourage me from breastfeeding. Every time I gave her the same answer, she just keeps saying the same old things and asking the same old questions til I feel irritated. Then I thought of a different answer, I told her if I do not hv enough milk, how will my gal grow. Ever since then, she stopped asking me the same question again. All I know from experience, the more u keep quiet, the more MIL thinks that it is fine to treat u this way. Keeping quiet will only make her think that what she do to you is fine with you too. You just hv to think of an answer that will not offend yr MIL and also let her know that you are not someone who can be bullied easily. It is not easy and will need some brainstorming. I also learnt from another mummy in this forum, to act blur.

I don't hv a lot of problems with my MIL cos we do not stay together n far away from each other. I feel she always has this idea that I am controlling her son, even in buying our new home. I can feel she dislike me. My husband just wants to avoid conflict, and he doesn't support me emotionally. However, there are many inconsiderate things that she does has made me unhappy even though we do not stay together. It would be hell for me if we stayed together. What my husband told me abt her is completely opposite of who she really is, and I only know the truth after I got married. With so many things that had happened during this 8 yrs of marriage, I only hv regrets of marrying my husband. At least, you still hv a supportive husband which I envy. I hv no one but myself to depend on.
 
Moorspa,
I don't stay with mil and she stays far from us too. I also can feel that my mil has the idea that I'm controlling her son. I remember when we just married, she told my hubby never to give in to me because if he does so, I would get use to it and would take things for granted. That time, my hubby told me that as a joke and he didn't think of it seriously. But since then I feel hurt.
She stays far, but I can feel that she is attacking me everyday.. now she is attacking me on Facebook. Me and my hubby share same Facebook acc by using our daughter's name. We can see that she is trying to show about her unhappiness towards me in front of my friends and my hubby's friends on facebook which I think is very embarrassing. Because after all, it's family problem. Now I'm trying not to "unfriend" her on Facebook. I know if I "unfriend" her on Facebook, my husband will not say anything but he will feel sad.
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That' s not very nice of her to attack you on Facebook, as it is a family matter and should not be publicized. Now I understand why you are very hurt, have you thought of getting another Facebook account for yrself? I can understand the hurt you are going through, all this flaming on Internet is very bad for yr emotional health.

Pls think of yourself first, and not how your husband feel. Your husband need to make a stand against his mother, he needs to tell her that family matters are not to be discussed in the public. If there is anything she is not happy with, she should be honest with you and discuss in a family meeting. If this goes on, you would become emotionally traumatized by her remarks on Facebook in the long run. It is yr choice whether to close one eye or deal with this matter, you can't please everyone. If you hv tried all ways to sort things out with yr MIL and it doesn't work, then you hv to take drastic measures for yr own sanity. If your husband can't be of any help, then you really hv to make a stand.

You hv to ask yrself how long are you going to endure this? There are 2 ways to solve this problem, either you ignore her remarks on Facebook or thrash it out with her on Facebook. Ask why is she so unhappy with you and why is she doing this on Facebook? Since she wants everyone to know, you just play along with her. Ask her what does she wants from you, and then decide what you should do next after receiving her reply.. If you keep quiet, she will keep on sharing her unhappiness in the Facebook til u hv a nervous breakdown. If I were you, I would thrash it out with her, otherwise there would be no peace. It is obvious she is just out to hurt you, a considerate person would not do that. Do discuss with your husband on your decision regarding this matter.

I hv made a stand even with my own family so that I would not be emotionally abused by them, cos talking it out did not work n I chose to keep a distance. It took me so long to realize I was emotionally abused by my own family, cos I hv never felt happy in my teenage and adolescent yrs. I know something is not right but I do not know what it was at that time. I hv tried many methods, sometimes I hv said so much that I shut myself to keep my sanity. There are pple who just don't understand what I mean, no matter how simply I put it so I keep a distance. As long you hv tried yr best to sort things out, even if it doesn't work, it is ok. At least, you would know how to deal with different pple in future. It is important to keep yr sanity and self respect, do not let anyone take it away from you. You need to be very strong to overcome this obstacle. Not drawing boundaries gives pple opportunity to hurt you, I am teaching all these to my kids so that they won't end up like me.

Remember you have a CHOICE to live a happy life. It is a problem and you have to solve it.
 
Oh, she is a smart mil. She doesn't mention my name on Facebook but it's obvious (my husband also notice) that she is trying to show her unhappiness on Facebook. Additional, she will tell everyone on Facebook that she is a very understandable and forgivable person no matter how people treat her, that irritate me a lot. Like what my husband asked her, if she really is that kind of person, why she is doing that. She just ignore and continue attacking me on Facebook. I don't want to get another Facebook acc. Now what I can do is I won't let her see our photos anymore if I upload new photos on Facebook.
She likes to make friends. She added our friends as her friends and wish on everyone birthday and give nice comments on Facebook. So our friends think she is a very friendly and nice lady.
 
In that case, just ignore her totally. She is trying to irritate you on purpose, why let her win? She is cunning in my point of view. The more affected u are, the happier she is. I feel she is trying to make you lose yr sanity til you could tolerate no more and breakdown. Then she will act blur in front of others, why you are behaving like that? This kind of person hv ways of turning e situation around to her own advantage. You hv to show her that you are able to lead a happy life and that her actions has no effect on you. The more unhappy u are, the happier she is. You hv to be very strong to detach yrself from her. Jia you! Tell yrself you can do it.
 
Moorspa, yes, yes. She is cunning and now she is already acting blur. I'll show her that I'll lead the happy life no matter how she irritate me(but try not to affect my hubby).
tks so much for understanding and encouragement. I'll jai you.
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Angeline,

When you are able to lead a happy life without letting others affecting you, you are protecting yrself and yr marriage. Yr hubby will not be affected when you are positive and unaffected from others. It is a tough challenge for you, but as long you stay positive, nobody can affect you. I am still working on being positive all the time as there are times when I may become negative. It is a challenge for me too, being positive really makes yr life so much easier. Positive self talk do help too. Jia you!
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Not sure if anyone still follow this thread.
JTS: my mil used to hint to me that I am not a good wife, daughter-in-law, my mum didn't teach me manners etc. She even told me i can only stayed at my mum's place for 2 hours for my weekly visit. I was told that her married daughters only stayed at her place for 2 hours. So i started timing on my visits to her house, both of them stayed for far more than 2 hours. Even my visits at her place were more than the 2 hours. I tried to please her. Give her presents, offer to bring her out but she told me straight that nothing pleases her except a grandchild. After that, I stop buying things for her and gradually stop talking to her, even till today, I have my son, the precious grandson, I still avoid talking to her. No point, we have no common language, not even about my son.
When my son was born, she told my mum, if I know how to be a mother. I felt hurt. I still remember, in the the first 6 mths, when we went to her place, I wasn't allowed to feed, go near or carry my boy. She would say my boy is sleeping, put him in her room. I did that and left him in the room sleeping. She quietly went into her room. After a while, she secretly opened the door and called her unmarried daughter to go in. First time, I only find it strange. She never speak softly unless she wants to hides things from others. Second time, I pretended to walk past her room, only to hear her unmarried daughter telling my son not to cry, ergu carrying him. I was angry. No. 1, why I wasn't told that he had woke up. No. 2, I am the mother, why she didn't ask me to comfort my newborn. No. 3, why would he wake up crying if no one disturb him, he was not hungry. Finally, one day, she didn't go into the room to disturb my son. But I heard him crying. So I wanted to open the door to check on him, immediately, mil said, "ah lay (her unmarried daughter) is inside, isn't she?" My husband immediately shouted," let them handle lah!" I just open the door and carried my son. I was hurt. The daughter was inside n she admitted she touched my son so he woke up. I was angry so that was how he woke up in the past. My hb claimed that his mil n the unmarried sister were very experienced in handling bb. This is how experience they are! Disturbing a sleeping bb!
There were more things that my mil did after this. All these things let me had a feeling that she wanted my son to recognised her unmarried daughter as mother. Even my hb is on mil's side even though he said he is not. But the things he said to me n my family and the way he do things related to my boy really make me feel so.
Things are better now for me after numerous thrash out with hb. But I am still trying to always have positive thinking abt mil.
 
I think my relationship with mil is getting worst.
She is attacking on me on Facebook almost everyday. I don't react to her attack yet but definitely I'm not happy about it. My hubby is more and more disappointed on his mother.
Dil and mil not getting along is common. But she should know that family affairs shouldn't be on public.
 
I understand how u all feel about ur mil cos I have an evil mil too. A mil who thinks she is very smart and knows it all but actual fact is she do not have any IQ or EQ.

I knew she don't like me the moment I was about to get married to her son. Everytime I greeted her, she pretended not to hear and yet she have the cheek to say her husband is deaf. Only when I got pregnant then she started to show abit concern which I knew would not last for long.

True enough, after I gave birth she totally ignored me again. Worst is she ruined my confinement (I was silly enough to believe my hubby that his mother know how to do confinement when actually she knows nothing. And she does not even know how to take care of baby cos I saw her almost dropping my baby, never changed a diaper even once, and when putting powder on baby, she puffed the baby all over until the powder got into her ear and nose! Her advices are all old school and when I don't heed her advice, she got angry.) and kept saying that I looked bloated and that I do not have breastmilk. She even made up stories to my hubby that I do not know how to take care of my child. The worst part came when she told me that formula milk is the real milk. Is she crazy or what? There are alot more incidents during the 3 days that she was at my house but to keep the story short..

I could not take it anymore and got my hubby to ask his mother to leave cos I was practically crying everyday. I was already nice enough to not scream at her. Then the final straw came when she carried my baby to go 'bai bai' at their house altar. I am of different religion from her and my hubby had already told her beforehand not to do it and yet she did it in front of me. Either she thought I am blind or not dare to tell her off or she did it on purpose to make me angry. My hubby went to tell her off after the visit (initially he said his mother did it for baby's own good and it was only I quarrelled with him then he gave in) and she was angry and refused to contact my hubby for almost 10 days. Then she became dramatic and said that she very sad that she never get to see grandchild. It was her who chose not to contact us in the first place!

Whenever relatives or people said that baby looks like me, she would strongly oppose and say that baby only looks like my hubby. She would always pretend in front of relatives that she understands baby very well. She kept saying my baby is afraid of noises, when actually my baby will sleep through chatters and loud noises. My mil even went to the extend of pretending to be very clean and tell people who wants to touch my child to go wash their hands first. But mil herself did not even wash her own hands and kept touching my baby's cheeks and chin.

She forgotten that dils of this century are different from the dils of her era ~ we don't allow mils to bully or control us. I now loathe the sight of my mil and refused to go visit her. Since she could not accept me as my baby's mother, then she can forget about seeing her grandchild. I know my hubby will be squashed in between his mother and me but that is his problem as there were times when he sided to her nonsense, saying that she is old and that is her character. Well, being old doesn't mean that everything she does is correct. And since my hubby always give in to her, then it is up to me to take a stand and keep his mother in line.

Oh, I forgot to mention that for my baby's 1 month celebration, my fil and mil did nothing for my baby. No gift nor red packet from them. And my baby is their first grandchild. Could u believe it? I don't think they dote on my baby at all because they are very old thinking and would definitely treasure a grandson more than a granddaughter.

She has irked me to the extent that I do not even want to think of anything positive about her. The sight of her and her voice is very irritating to me now. The only way for me to be happy is to avoid her at all cost and avoiding all functions that involves her.
 
Hi ZQ2350, my mil was almost the same.
she did nothing when i was carrying my gal that time, until my hubby ask her to cook some bird nest for me. Then her bird nest so miserable not even 1/2 a bowl.
Subsequently when she came to hospital to visit me, she cooked some food but keep asking her my hubby to eat. As if her son was doing the delivery!!
After which during confinment, i was staying at my mum place, she nvr ever once came up to visit me though she own a car and drives frequently.
Now on off i also rarely go back. Only when there are big occassions, i would pay a short visit. Throughout my gal growing years, she nvr ever once spend anything on her or wat. If she put it in this way, i will not give in to her also.
 
ZQ2350,

During all occasion be it CNY or kids birthday, i never received any gifts from our PILs too. Even full month and first birthday, they just attend like guest and after that leave. OMG! I can't forget this!
 
oh Love Love,
mine too!!
for 5 years on my kid bdae, they nvr call or any gifts at all.
where else hubby bdae, she will call to remind him go home and see mee sua with red eggs.
This is how i can see the difference! I bet she dun even know when is my bdae...
 
Pooh85~
Same same here. On my hubby's bdae, his mom would call him and ask him to go home for dinner where she had cooked his fave dishes. As for me, I don't expect her to remember my bdae cos she can't even remember my name. She would either call me 'xxx(my hubby's name)'s wife' or just talk to me without calling my name at all. Once,a relative of hers asked me what's my name and before I could answer, my mil answered for me but gave e wrong name!
 
LoveLove~
I can't forget about my pils not giving my baby any gift or red packet either. I don't think my baby deserves to be treated this way. Worst is I can't stand it that they are NATO (no action talk only) by keep claiming that they love my baby but do nothing for her at all! Till now my pils had never called my baby by her name! Darn pissed at them.
 
My mil will be upset if we don't wish her birthday.
She wishes everyone's birthday on Facebook. But she didn't wish my daughter's. Not mention about gifts...
 
ZQ2350-
She can remember my name but i think other things everything she also dun know.
my gal was their first grandchild.No gifts or red packets given also. When i was pregnant that time, they say will get red packet. Subsequently also nvr give. Is not that i am hard up on the $, but what you say u must do and not just say say only.
I think she is fed up that i dun wanna stay with them and dun wan them to take care of my gal that time.
 
From her full mth till her birthday celebrated every year, they never attended the party. The reason given was they dun know the ppl at the party then they will look like outsiders.So angry!
 
Hence for my gal growing up years,they dun even appear on the photos at all.
Where else once my hubby's bro had 1 son,my mil asked us all for a dinner.I thought it was only our family, but she invited her side of relatives also and even bought a cake for the grandson still have gold ankle for him. my gal got nothing at all. That is the difference between a boy and gal.
CNY is coming, i have been going oversea for past feww year but still have reunion dinner with them. This year i will not be travelling,so thinking of visiting their house makes me irritated.
 
Pooh85: Which one is worse? Not attending your party? Or like mine, attend every gathering - make sure that she looks like the mighty host and matriach, no conversation can go on without her intruding or answering. Greet all my guests and treat herself like the owner of the house. Never help in the planning or food preparation - most the first to answer any questions about them. So everyone goes to think she is so capable. Pretend, pretend, pretend. Then after eating go home. Someone once asked me "Is this your MIL's house?"
 
frogprincess: hmmm, ya she seems so rude and pretentious. in this case, dun turn up better. haiz, but i saw from my friend her mil is gd le. how come i will have such mil.my mil nvr ever bothers about my gathering. she will say she busy or what. always lot of excuses/
 
I would prefer if my mil leaves my family alone. She is so controlling that even when she visits my baby at my house, she would say things like 'don't put this here, don't put that there'. Hellooooo, its my house and I can put anything wherever I like. My hubby is so spineless that he follows everything his mother says. I had a few quarrels with him in the past month just because of his nosy mother.
 
think mine is the ultimate one.
For the first year birthday party, Her relatives all come and packed food away, my guests who came later are left without food!

Earlier session for my colleagues, insist I dun order anything, bil is cooking something and bring over (in the food business),which start at 1.30 to 4pm, they came with the food only at 3.30pm! luckily I did not blindly follow her.... can imagine!!!
then husband blind enough to think the mil is already super supportive and etc and etc...

Apple,
at least is adult caring for the baby,mine, ask the 6 year niece to carry my premature baby at one month party!! hid inside the room while I am with the guests in the living room and baby is suppose to be sleeping!
then her daughter's baby, "You try to carry I will cane you!"
 
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