IVF Mummies-To-Be Support Group

This month is a bad month for me coz of work! Tonite I need to work too..sianz. But will definitely try bring Grace. The last time we went underwater world she enjoyed the trip.

My co has corporate pass too but coz only a few, we need to ballot. Will see if I can get the zoo tix for weekend

If not ask my parents bring her
 


gan, most companies practise balloting, my sil one too... and heng heng we got it this wkend..

it v tiring to bring my trio too! at the end of the trip today, me n hb both exhausted. for the past one week lucas kept waking up to cry.. me n hb have been surviving on few hours of interrupted zzzz... take turns let him koala..:S

next trip to the zoo will get their family membership. we plan to do at least once a month trip since its so near my place.
 
baby, cabbage is too gassy for babies. Did u add ginger? I hvnt give my girl cabbage yet.

Panda, ya u should buy the family membership. My gf has 4 kids. She goes zoo every 3 to 4 weeks too.
 
My gal cried badly before bed today...=s hardly cry like that. Not sure what's wrong.....in fact today was more cranky
 
Panda/just faith
Didnt know cabbage is that gassy... I did put ginger.. I put everytime i cook porridge...
Will stop cabbage for now....
Thought wana give them more variety of vege... Hmm.. Maybe i should just stick to those normal type of vege that most bb is eating? Shouldnt be too adventrous....
 
Happy hippo, I use Upview. But they only handle Indonesians and the agent whom helped me previously hv already left.
I will not go back to them again. I m planning to replace both my maids w a Filipino after my kids go cc...need someone more alert and smarter if I m going back to work ... In the event bbs get sick, my parents will help bb sit them w the maid.
 
Panda
U planning to go bk to work? Decided when liao?

Im still thinking when should i send my girls to cc... Over at cc.. I have no control over them on their eating, sleeping etc... Been taking care of them since birth till now.. Not sure if i will get used to letting others take care of them...

Hows feeding the trio now? Any new menu to share?
happy.gif


Im simmering porridge now while the take their nap...
Rice with millet, pear, zucchini, spinach and cod fish...
Today is orange free day! Lunch gave rice with lentils, sweet potato, mushroom and chicken.
 
Happy
The agency i went not too good.. So no pt recommending to u.. Sigh.. Maid is forever problem... Just talk to my maid yday night... Told her if she ever show attitude again i will send her bk to agency or straight bk to philpine.
 
baby, yes i definitely wanna go back to work, but hv not decided when. still looking ard for a suitable cc. u r right, cc we hv no control over foods. nap time is usually fixed. everyday they follow a schedule. i m fine w tht so long as its a routine. food wise i m looking for one that cooks inhouse..

new menu ? hehe.. not yet try new foods..but i bought a pack of mild jap curry wanna let them try. also bought roasted seaweed for adding to rice/porridge.

today lunch was lentils porridge. dinner i cooked baked rice. my boys now likes rice better, but my gal prefers porridge!

i think for us sahm it v hard to find good maid coz we hv certain expectations and maid is working w us everyday. most of my frens who tells me they hv wonderful maids are working mums. my hb says if send that wonderful maid to my house sure fail one! hahaha.. coz i will scrutinise what the maid does everyday :p
 
Panda
Why u wana find one that does inhouse cooking?
Wondering whether can let them take lunchbox.. So at least i can control what kind of food they eat...

Ya agree... Sure can find problem.. Cos we face them whole day everyday!!!

Wow curry and seaweed sounds nice! Update me aft u try ya...
Where u bot the roasted seaweed? Those in strips or a whole piece type?
Btw seaweed is high in iodine.. And also high in sodium.. Cant take too much...
 
grumpus, pandawife, baby
i'm deciding between quinoa and millet. I'm guessing one of you must have tried both coz your menus are always so happening
happy.gif

does your babies have any preference btw quinoa and millet? how do you cook it, just add to rice/porridge?
tks
 
happyhippo
millet is a starchy grain. provides carbo n is a good source of B vitamins, iron n folic acid. it doesn't add much additional taste to rice.
quinoa although is classified as a grain is in fact a good source of protein and also high in iron. quinoa has adds a bean like taste, some say a bit like ginseng smell/taste to rice.

to me both grains are necessary. I alternate between the 2. I've cooked them in rice and in porridge. just add into uncooked rice and cook as per normal
 
Happy
I hvt try quinoa yet... Only tried red lentils and millet...
I mix it together with rice and cook together as porridge...
Lentils has a v strong bean taste and smell... Millet is quite tastless... I will always alt between these two.. To give my girls more variety... Has more protein too...
 
Happy, I hv only tried lentils n quinao. My bbs like lentils. Quinao oso they eat but no special preference. I m oso planning to start millet soon.

Grumpus, can bbs take black beans huh? I took alot of black bean soup during pregnancy coz my mum kept saying its v good. Dunno if good for bbs too....

Baby, I bought the seaweed tht has no salt in the listed ingredients. Those cut into small little stripes ones. I haven't open to taste it... Will only use small amounts .

I spoke to the poc at learning vision. They do no encourage bringing own food. They plan the meals n all the kids eat the same food. I think this is good. I prefer those who cook in house than catered ones.

If I m not going to work I will not send them to cc. Mayb go for those 2-3hours play group. This week will b visiting 2 cc during their lunch time to check out the foods n how the teacher handle the feeding time.
 
Pandawife, baby, grumpus,
Thks for info re quinoa & millet. Think I will start one pack quinoa first.
Hmm sounds like hard to find good maid agency, even harder to find good maid....sigh.... Really wonder how the older generation managed without maids last time.

When u go out, do u let ur kiddos walk on their own? Do u hold their hands ? My boy dont let us hold his hand. He will try to push away my hand. If I dont let go, he will sit down and stop walking. I figured is his way of protesting. Any mummies encountered similiar situation? How to overcome?
 
Happy my eldest boy too. Refuse to let me hold his hand. I let him walk n I walk beside him... It's their way of showing independence... My girl oso start to smtimes refuse to hold me hand. My younger boy loves to hold hands coz he wanna run!
 
Panda
I will be a sahm.. Wont be returning to work... But wondering whether i should send them to cc.. Cos i heard lots of friends say its good to send them to cc so they can learn to be independent.. Out of the comfortable zone.. And they learn more and prepare them for school... Says it make a whole world of difference in kids that stay at home and those that went to pre school...

Not sure if playgroup does the same not.... Whether do they learn as much... And playgroup parents got to company them?

Heard so much good things abt pat sch.. But they dont have playgroup.. Only cc... Hmm... But abit stupid that i send them to cc and i stay at home?
 
happyhippo
I let my girl walk on her own n also hold her hand. depends on situation. if its safe for her to walk on her own I will let her. but if there's a need I will hold her hand n point out the 'danger' n firmly tell her must hold hand.

our kids r old enuff to understand basic instructions so u can establish basic ground rules already.

like my girl now after eating snack will grab tissue, wipe her mouth then throw the tissue n snack wrapper into the dustbin. if she tries to pick something off the floor n put into her mouth I will tell her firmly 'dirty, no no'. she will repeat no no, shake her head n walk away.

of cos kids r kids la so its not 100%, hv to constantly remind n repeat
 
baby
u can send yr girls to half day cc then they can learn independence in cc but still hv half day at home with u
 
Happy
My girls also refuse to let them hold their hands... Only hold a while then will shake off my hand... I dont let them walk when im outside... Cos they are still not very steady yet.. Will stumble here and there... Only let them sit on stroller when out... But at home they free roam the house... Now they are learning to climb onto sofa and bed... Got to watch on them...
 
Grumpus
Hmm.. Sounds like a good idea...
I heard the price for full and half day is v similar... Abit bo hua hor... But full day cc mummy dont know do what for the whole day also... Haha..
I think i will miss them alot if they go to cc...
 
oh ok sounds like most kids dont like to hold hands.. wonder why they so smart..hahah

grumpus, wow ur girl very good leh can take tissue wipe and throw. somehow my boy like quite slow. i think if i tell him 'danger' he probably wont understd leh.
startg to feel guilty if i hv not teach him enough, esp i SAHM, no excuse unlike working mums. sighhh...

oh i was reading abt left & right brain training. any mummies got any tips on what activities we can do at home to train their left/right brain? any good books to recommend?
tks !
 
happyhippp, think I might hv missed out yr earlier posts. Did u mention why you need a maid now?

Pandawife, i kinda agree with yr hubby. We face the maid everyday. Working mum don't. So what is acceptable to those mummies, may not be ok to us...
sad.gif
 
justfaith
yes i'm looking for a maid coz going back to work soon. so thot better get in earlier so can train/monitor hopefully.
u got any recc for maid agency?
tks
 
Mummies,

Would like to get your advice. I find that my 13 month old girl lately has been throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. If her brother takes her toy, she will immediately cry crocodile tears. When she doesn't like something for eg. after bath, she doesn't like it when I comb her hair, she will scream and scream until I stop. How do I discipline her and stop her from doing that? Ignore her until she gets it that I will not respond?

Also, during meal time, its so difficult to feed her. Her mouth will only open a fraction for the food to go in, and then must entertain her with toys before she is willing to open her mouth. Must put the toy on the highchair tray and let her play and get the food all over the toy through out the whole meal. I really want to teach her good eating habits... any ideas how I can do that? Any moms experiencing the same thing?
 
Panda, HappyHippo,

Can you share the reason you want to go back to work? I'm the opposite, it has crossed my mind many times whether I should stop work and focus on the kids. I am mindful that because I am at work, I don't get to spend time to teach them things and discipline them. But then again, I also know that in a couple of years' time when they go to school, might become boring for me.

The only thing that is holding me back from stopping work is the thought of their education fund... I already worked out how much it will cost to send my kids to university overseas... yikes!!! Will be tough if I don't work
sad.gif
 
working wife, i never intend to b a sahm... but since i had 3 of them, hb says tc of them until cc age... of coz its also financially a concern if i stop work for too long. it costs a bomb to b sending all 3 thru universities! even at v young age, tution and enrichment classes costs quite abit..

honestly now at home w me, i dont hv alot of energy to teach them stuff.. just attending to their very basic needs i m so exhausted! i figured at cc they will b able to learn more and also b independent. now 2maids at home, the 3 of them like little bosses leh! v soon i think they will b bossing my maids ard! *stress*

my bbs also will scream when they dont or cant get smthing. i suppose this is their way of communicating their frustrations. i read alot of books... n still trying to figure out how to deal w it.

for the bathing n combing hair part, i hv smthing similar w my linus. he hates to b interrupted from playtime to bathtime. my maids used to force carry him into the bathroom n he sceram the house down. now i will always tell him we are going for a bath, then giv him 10-15 secs to digest the information. then i will ask him, shall we go for the bath now?? smtimes he is not agreeable will shake his head.. so i will explain to him that he is dirty n sweaty, hv to bathe so that mummy can get him clean and nice.. then he will usually smile n open his arms for me to carry him.. n the bathtime will b fuss free.. maybe u can try telling her tht u are going to comb her hair before u do it...

meal time, haiz.. now my trio all dont wanna sit in high chair. my girl sits on the floor in guest room w toys to eat. linus walks ard the play yard then he will open mouth. lucas sits in front of a mirror n play toys to eat! LOL.. no choice.. so long as they eat, i m happy. abit older then teach to sit at table w us.
 
pandawife
i'm going to put my boy in childcare when i go back work. still deciding if shd do full day or half day. cos if go full day, after lunch he will just sleep in childcare, afer wake up is free and easy activities i think.
those cc that u have visited, do they ask u to buy mattress? if yes, do they tag the mattress to each kid, so that they have their own mattress to sleep on all the time?

working wife
very similiar to pandawife, i hv never really tot of or intended to be a SAHM. the fact that i stayed home this first year was quite a drastic move for me. i guess since went thru so much to have a baby and was a blessing to be successful, we decided best to take a year off work. also i dont hv a maid and was not keen to have a live-in maid. staying at home was a good option coz i can look after my baby and can be maid-free.

i always intended to send my baby to childcare when he is old enough. think better for him to hv social interaction esp with other kids.

of coz most imptly, it is really tough to survive on single income. things are really expensive in sgd, esp for kids, not cheap. so no choice got to work and earn $$$. altho i so wish to find a part time job so that can spend more time with my boy. but part time is hard to find.
 
working wife
just remember:
firstly, all these rules n routines are dictated by us adults. as far as a child is concerned, they can play, eat, sleep whenever they want. so it helps to give the child forewarning of wat is to come n give time to accept. eg. tell the child, after play in another 5 mins is bath time ok? another 2mins more is bath time etc etc

secondly, the most important person in yr child's life now is you. so 'punish' undesirable behaviour by ignoring n reward good behaviour with lots of attention.

lastly, pick n choose yr battles. for eg. u can ignore yr girl's tantrum abt hair combing. but is it really impt she gets her hair combed after her bath? wat if u dun comb her hair for a week? maybe after tat week she'll forget whatever it is she doesn't like abt combing hair n be ok with?
bottom line, save yr 'punishments' for the things tat matter.

as for eating, my girls hv very bad eating habits too but no choice cos need them to eat. for my elder girl, when she reached abt 2 then I told her she has to sit down n finish her dinner. once she gets up then no more food etc etc
 
gan, i went to little wonders montessori today. overall quite good. tmr going to kinderland and modern montessori. will pick one to do another round of visit w my hb n confirm placement. hav decided to let them go when they are 2yo this coming dec.

picking cc oso v stressful. worried pick the wrong one cant hv a peace of mind when i go back to work :S
 
Panda there is so many cc near ur place! There is
Only 2 within walking distance toy home.

Is there a q? What do u look out for when u visit the cc?
 
pandawife
why 2yrs and not 18mths? i also hv other friends sendg their kid to cc at 2 yrs instead of 18mths. now i'm wondering if 2yrs is better coz the kid can understand abit better why mummy is putting him in cc and not cry and feel abandoned
sad.gif


gan
i'm deciding between cherie hearts and our junior schoolhouse. both are at westlake avenue. my choice is purely based on distance/convenience. i really cant tell if the teachers are good or not leh. the place is not new so abit old. altho i keep wondering if shd look for the more popular/well known cc.
i'm going back to work mid year.

how about your gal?
 
gan, there are many many ccs in woodlands, i think within walking distance already hv about 6 of them...

among little wonders, mondern montessori n kinderland, only kinderland is walking distance. the other two hv to drive...but short 3-5mins drive kind.

today i went to 3 ccs.. out of which only little wonders is ok. the other two, one i dont like, one my mum dont like.

few things i look for:
1) cleanliness of the place, esp the kitchen
2) in house cook and menu (menu must be nutritious and interesting)
3) daily programme (an all rounded structured learning programme)
4) principal and teacher must b passionate about kids n teaching
5) the kids there looks happy
6) teacher student ratio
7) lastly the fees.... cant afford those after subsidy still 4digits ones coz i hv 3 .. n still need to have a maid...

i m on waitlist for little wonders. within this mth if i go back to put a deposit, we are confirm secured 3 places in dec. they only open 12 vacancies each year for the toddler class.. so v limited... hv to act fast.

i will do all the first round shortlisting this week, next week get my hb to take leave go for 2nd time visit n decide which one to send them.

its really hard to find an ideal one.. n i also prefer a principal who has experience handling multiples.... the only down side w little wonders is this principal seem rather young n no experience in multiples. she even suggest i send them in one by one instead of together! the other centre tht i dont like its becoz of the overall cleanliness n hygiene of the place. but the principal v experienced. she told me must send them all together so that they can settle in faster. first few days will b chaotic coz one cry all cry. but once one settle down, all will settle down quickly.
 
happyhippo, my kids turn 18mths this june. its abit hard to find vacancies for 3 of them coz i m late... most centres will hv new openings in dec coz their K2 classes will graduate... n just nice they turn 2 in Dec.. thts how we came to the decision.

i spoke to the cc principals about the difference in sending them at 18mths versus 2yo. most tell me it depends on child. some kids go at 18mths n cope well, some go at 2yo n dont cope well. so its v hard to say. n about falling sick, its also the same. some younger ones surprisingly dont fall sick. but the older ones started to get sick every month.
 
Panda I didn't look int such details like u... Though I do observe if the kids are happy but always got 1 or 2 crying toddlers. I didn't even check out the menu but coz I based on distance, ie I can pick her up and go home easily as I dn drive, I just decide on learning vision and Cambridge. Further away there is the branded Eton house but I didn't check it out. What is the fees like for little wonders and teacher to student ratio?

Happy, I am planning to send my gal in July , but still on wait list for Cambridge n learning vision. I preferred learning vision actually coz bigger compound for the kids to play and run. Now I am sending her to Julia Gabriel twice a week to let her have an idea of school, coz jg, the programme is like a condense school day, comes with story telling, play, snack time. Just decided to continue another term in JG till June.
 
gan
how long is the JG classes? can both parents sit in with kid? how much?
sounds like a good idea to start with sthg like this before going to cc.
thks
 
gan, cambridge n LV both v reputable ccs.. shld b alright.

i m also concern w distance..coz if i cant make it back in time, my parents shld b able to go pick them up easily.

the ratio at little wonders is 1:4. before subsidy each kid is $1k. its a landed house kind of setup.. fairly spacious and has outdoor activities too...

i m a cleanliness freak! so v v fussy about how clean the place is...this one is as clean as my house! even the kitchen was sparkling clean...
 
Oh no...I still hvt start hunting for cc yet...

Now start to google on cc...

Panda
Little wonder fee how much?? Whats yr budget for one?
I heard learning vision aft subsidy for full day is abt 700plus...
Pat is abt 1k... Hmmm...
Near newton there is montesorri... Eton house and PMI...
I also know start from where to check... Headache..
 
Happy, only 1.5 hrs. At this age the kids' attention span is short, can't expect them to sit for class for too long. Each term is 10 weeks, $1070+200 refundable deposit. It is parent accompanied. So Monday, my parents will be the ones bringing her to JG. They only allow 1 parent.

Panda little wonders has very good teacher child ratio! The school I went is like 1:5, the fees is reasonable. LV I am sending is charging $1200. Cleanliness wise, Cambridge is not so good, and is a terrace house so not much space for the kids,
Hmm lv never asked me for a deposit. Only ask me fill up a form. Maybe I shld call them and ask.
 
Panda do u let ur maid send all her $ home? Or u make her keep some in bank here? My maid wants to send all her $ home when I gave her salary just now
 
Gan, my maid sent most of her $ back. Left like $100+ every 2 months. I sent for her every 2months. Anyway she doesnt need any $ here. I buy all her essentials for her n she k eat all the foods in my fridge except the bb stuff. She work her coming 9 mths every spend a single cent of her salary.
 
Panda my maid also doesn't need to spend any $ , in fact even her calls back indo I pay for her on top of the daily necessity.

What I meant is do u open a bank acct with her? If open, she need a min $500 , if send all can't open ? The $100 + every 2 mths ,u keep for her at Home? Where do u bring her to send $ home?
 
Ohhh.. I don't bother to open bank acc since she wanna send most of her $ back. Just keep the small amts at home.
Go sing post, western union. V convenient. Bring the cash there together w ur maid the first time. Aft tht she k authorize u to do the transfer on her behalf. Future months u just show her the slip, get her to acknowledge n keep for her. ;)
 


How often does ur maid call home?? Same here, I oso pay for their calling cards. Mine about every 2-3mths request to call back. Smtimes I don't even remember d last time they called!
This week is cc week... Today going to bring my bbs go cc hunting again.
 
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