i don't feel that my wife love/ respect me

[alexdavid]

dear forum user ,

I don't know if i am posting on the right forum, but i really need ur help.
I am 33yo and my wife is 30. we r married for 6years, total 8years together . no children yet.
since together i will drive and pick her up almost every single day, and do most of the house work.
and pay for most of our daily expenses . I love her very much

 

[alexdavid]

i recently close my business due to bad market or maybe i could not hander the stress between work and or relationship . but i am still doing my very best to support our home.
i feel that my wife don't understand me.
she will get angry and penalize any single minor mistake i make.
example . i sent too much time in business meeting , or like i forgot to boil tap water . something like that

 

[alexdavid]

becos i have to be making money and operating our home , i do make some noise about it.
then she will threaten divorce . I never believed in divorce , i remember my wedding vows deeply.
we try to go for consoling many times , but its not improving

 

[alexdavid]

is there something wrong with me?

 

[alexdavid]

i was bought up in a regular family , my father work and support our home and my mother is a typical house wife.
my wife parents were different, her mother works and her father drinks and gamble.
most of my wife sister is divorce or soon to be cos their husband is not doing their part as a partner .
i feel its like her family is some how influencing the way man or husband r suppose to be treated?
i tried to talk to them , but nothing .....

 

[alexdavid]

i want to save my marriage

 

[wendy_reborn]

Maybe cool down first.
If really u have being good n always there when she needed you. Sometimes let thing cool down a bit.
She wan a divorce but doesn't mean she can go n file unless there is a valid ground.
U still have time, slow talk to her.

 

[happywifey22]

I think she is just mentioning divorce only not really wanting to divorce. Maybe is from her family background? She doesn't have too much confident in men? Are you working currently after your business is closed? I guess you have to secure a job or restart a business to secure your marriage..

 

[Mongkok]

There's absolutely nothing wrong w u. It's the timing.

Not her fault though. Her family issue has affected her in some ways; she losses confidences. Those divorces in her family not only makes her doubt marriage as a whole, it 'shows' her a way out of stuffy marriage. That, in her case (as she perceives), is your lack of time on her. She is actually worried that Dv will happened to her too (Since the fire is 'burning' that near). Hence she thought might as well cal the shot first.

Her nickpicking on you, is her way of asking for attention.

Hence, for this period of time, spend quality time w her. Acknowledge that she is aso stressed out over her family issue. Give her assurance. Not the same old assurance that you hv been doing (pick her up, pay for everything...). Convince her that you are different and your marriage are diff from her sis.

Go on a holiday w her. Review your marriage vows to her. B w her physically and mentally esp whn she is facing those dv issues on her family.

Mostly importantly, accompany her through every phases of her life, do your best and give her time to ride it out.

 

[happywifey22]

I don't think she is picking on you.. sometimes women are just like that nag nag abit.. she is stressed too from work from living. It can be quite tough living in Singapore.

 

[triple70]

Go on a short notice business trip for 3 nites and see her reaction during the 3 nites u are not around.

From this experiment, we can tell the underlying issues.

 

[Butterfly666]

dear forum user ,

I don't know if i am posting on the right forum, but i really need ur help.
I am 33yo and my wife is 30. we r married for 6years, total 8years together . no children yet.
since together i will drive and pick her up almost every single day, and do most of the house work.
and pay for most of our daily expenses . I love her very much

I think shes taking you for granted. From what I read you are too predictable and boring? It could be these that led to her taking you for granted.

 

[tinkyberz]

Well, if she doesn't get angry or penalize any single minor mistake you make, then you better watch out. This maybe her way of showing her love, concerning about you.

I second what @Mongkok mentioned about her confidence level and her family condition. My wifey also have family and friends who went through bad marriage, and her confidence level is low. We do argue or quarrel in many occasion. However, when you sit back and understand where she is coming from, you will understand her better. Our wife needs our attention and love, they need to feel secure that they are safe in this family/relationship.

Surprise her with little gifts of appreciation or bring her out for a special dinner. It is the little effort or appreciation that build up the confidence in her. All the best. Just remember you both chosen each other as your life-time partner, effort (Flirting / dating) in maintaining the relationship doesn't end with marriage.