shopping_queen23
New Member
I am getting really frustrated with my own marriage that divorce has been coming on to my mind for the past 2 years.
I had been a plus size woman since secondary school days. When we were together I was already a plus size woman , but during our customary wedding, I went on a strict diet regime and manage to shed 20 kgs. Yes I took oral medications and diet then. Because of this, my health was in a bad shape and I constantly had palpitations.
After child birth in 2009, I gain back all the 20kgs. When our child is one year old, I asked my husband when are we planning for a second one ? He never wanted a second child as he find it costly and told me it is not worth to have two children after all we had invested in them , we might not get back any returns. Different mindset, I enjoy being a mother and I think bringing up children is our mission, not a business. He does not share the same thoughts apparently. Back to the question that I posted to him, he told me you had one you already gain 20 Kgs, can you still walk after a second one ?
My own husband told me that, yes obviously he despise me. I was depressed for a long time and never bring the topic up anymore. He is a MCP- thoroughly. I was a SAHM then , I actually had a good job, nice colleagues, however because his parents can't care for my son anymore, they just came to a decision for me to quit my job and be a SAHM. After one year, I very much want to return to the workforce. However, because he wanted me to move in with his parents, he told me the only condition for him to agree me working and on a second child is with his parents help and I sacrifice our freedom and sold our place to stay with his parents.
My son is 4 year old now. I had moved in with his parents for 2 years, not once had he helped me if I had issue with his parents. I am always the one finding trouble or I had change. He cheated me, he never want a second child in the first place, never once contribute to our son's education despite him being a manager and I am just a diploma holder. When I had more rice, he would scoop away my rice and say since you will be snacking later. I do not feel respected as a human, parent in laws add on fuel to our relationship. Its always about him and him. Since he doesn't want a second child, so I shall enjoy more ME time then. I wanted to take up a sport, since he has been despising me, he says I am wasting money and time and stop me. He is never supportive of anything I do. When I meet up with friends, he expect me to bring along my son with me, he would go to bed as and when he like at night and I am expected to stay up with my son even though I had worked a long day at work.
When his colleagues compared our son progresses, he would blame me for not doing enough school work with him where he never once teaches him anything or fed him a meal. Whenever I am alone and thought of all these, I would tear. I have strain relationship with my own family and I feel lonely because I do not seem to have anywhere to go if I leave him. Whenever I try to talk to him, he would ignore me and pretend nothing happens the next day.
I am really suffocating, all the hurt and controlling time and again, I no longer feel the love I used to have for him. The only reason I am staying on is for the sake of our son and social norm ?
Why can't men just love their women as they are ? Why must they change them to their ideal partner and women can only suffer and endure for their family in silence ?
I had been a plus size woman since secondary school days. When we were together I was already a plus size woman , but during our customary wedding, I went on a strict diet regime and manage to shed 20 kgs. Yes I took oral medications and diet then. Because of this, my health was in a bad shape and I constantly had palpitations.
After child birth in 2009, I gain back all the 20kgs. When our child is one year old, I asked my husband when are we planning for a second one ? He never wanted a second child as he find it costly and told me it is not worth to have two children after all we had invested in them , we might not get back any returns. Different mindset, I enjoy being a mother and I think bringing up children is our mission, not a business. He does not share the same thoughts apparently. Back to the question that I posted to him, he told me you had one you already gain 20 Kgs, can you still walk after a second one ?
My own husband told me that, yes obviously he despise me. I was depressed for a long time and never bring the topic up anymore. He is a MCP- thoroughly. I was a SAHM then , I actually had a good job, nice colleagues, however because his parents can't care for my son anymore, they just came to a decision for me to quit my job and be a SAHM. After one year, I very much want to return to the workforce. However, because he wanted me to move in with his parents, he told me the only condition for him to agree me working and on a second child is with his parents help and I sacrifice our freedom and sold our place to stay with his parents.
My son is 4 year old now. I had moved in with his parents for 2 years, not once had he helped me if I had issue with his parents. I am always the one finding trouble or I had change. He cheated me, he never want a second child in the first place, never once contribute to our son's education despite him being a manager and I am just a diploma holder. When I had more rice, he would scoop away my rice and say since you will be snacking later. I do not feel respected as a human, parent in laws add on fuel to our relationship. Its always about him and him. Since he doesn't want a second child, so I shall enjoy more ME time then. I wanted to take up a sport, since he has been despising me, he says I am wasting money and time and stop me. He is never supportive of anything I do. When I meet up with friends, he expect me to bring along my son with me, he would go to bed as and when he like at night and I am expected to stay up with my son even though I had worked a long day at work.
When his colleagues compared our son progresses, he would blame me for not doing enough school work with him where he never once teaches him anything or fed him a meal. Whenever I am alone and thought of all these, I would tear. I have strain relationship with my own family and I feel lonely because I do not seem to have anywhere to go if I leave him. Whenever I try to talk to him, he would ignore me and pretend nothing happens the next day.
I am really suffocating, all the hurt and controlling time and again, I no longer feel the love I used to have for him. The only reason I am staying on is for the sake of our son and social norm ?
Why can't men just love their women as they are ? Why must they change them to their ideal partner and women can only suffer and endure for their family in silence ?
