Childless Not By Choice Group

Miraclebaby, your lining is very good and good number of follicles. ER next Monday, that's fast. Jia you!

Btw I also have 1 side ovary producing more follicles, think it's my left side. And usually during retrival cld have more follicles than during scan. Most impt is the quality not the quantity. Yours looks good.
 


Gan, thanks I am aware of Dr Loh's absence. You feeling better now? Staying with you parents is a good solution as 家有一宝如有一宝！They got more experience than us, so they will give you the best care ever.

miraclebaby, 11 follicles is not little. That time I only hv 14 follicles. I think you will "discover" more later as the smaller ones become more prominent.

My poms poms are out! Jia you miraclebaby!!!

Tigi, I will definitely update my 2nd result here when available. Yes, its difficult to stay relaxed at times during preparation. Sometimes I even find so hard to breathe and heart thumping v fast. Luckily Dr Zou always say my heartbeat is normal everytime I c her. Despite, it is going to be my 2nd try but I still can't control the worries and emotions within me. Haiz.
We work so hard le, its alright to pamper ourselves at time. Once bfp le, all pampers will go to baby liao.
 
Hi miraclebaby, ur sitmulation is gd and yes gan is right quality is more important then quantity.Ur cardiprin is one tab daily? The prednisolne is how many mg per tab? I read from some where that prednisolone cant be taken during pregnancy, did dr f say any side effects from it?

Gan, ya i know dr loh will be on leave dec thats y i m not keen in doing in dec....

Rostrum, u starting soon? Wow everyone is starting again but i still not ready lei
 
Thanks gan, tigi and rostrum

Lyn
the prednisolone tastes bad, bitter. After 2 hours, still got after taste. Side effects can be weight gain, acne, reduce general immunity but when taking short term should not see these effects. Main thing is to take after a full meal cos like aspirin can cause gastric. I think dr mentioned just take till bfp. He only gave me 2 weeks for now. 1.5 tablets each time which equals 30mg, Ya, there are some risks taking during pregnancy. I will check with him tomorrow. Did u talk to dr loh about prednisolone?
 
Lyn, no problem! Start when you feel ready. I am left with 3 months and still procrastinating. Most likely will start before Dr Loh is away.
 
Hi, ladies
I'm back. I was discharged yesterday and it's really a very tiring event. still in the period of settling down. Today i look exactly like panda as din sleep the whole nite and the horrible engorgement hit me.
Sorry if I can't address to all the ladies wishes but thank you so much for it. Labour is really not an easy task and now i understand mom's pain. hahaha.
I give in to epi after enduring the pain for almost 6 hours and only 1 cm dilated. Really pei fu those who can go thru normal delivery.
My gal was vacuumed out as as well which I din know what is the reason as it was never discussed before by my gynae.
I named my gal Celine and she's 3.1kg on birth. As for my hub, he accompanied me the whole labour process and saw my bb comes out. I think it's quite a traumatic event for him and I think he started to change his attitude to me though I won't sure for how long.
Soon all the ladies here will go thru all the labour stages and carrying the child in ur arm. Give you all my baby dusts and please dun give up as u won't know when is your time.

Time for me to be the moo moo cow now, engorgement is really no joke. my gal din want to latch then i have to be pumping around the clock. But it worths every single pain when I saw my gal smiling at me.

Will try to drop in more often in future.Please keep a positive mind and jia you
 
Congrats elle! You must be so happy to hold baby celine in your arms. You must be feeling so touched when you see her. All pain is worth it! And I am really glad to read tt yr hubby accompany u thru out the whole process. By being by yr side during the labour proves everything. He is not so heartless after alL! He just needs some time and with the arrival of baby celine, he will assume his duty as a loving father and doting hubby!

May 2 of you stay happily ever after with baby celine.

Celine is a nice name. Do drop by whenever u hv time, we will miss u and enjoy yr feeding. As wat u mentioned, all pain is worth it once u c her smile.
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Elle congrats to you!! Feel so heart warming that with little celine, mum n dad r closer than before!
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Congrats again!
 
Congratulations Elle!
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Must be so happy to hold baby Celine in your arms. I am also very happy for you that your hubby has went through the labour process with you. Actually I feel he does care for you and I am sure going through this special moment together to welcome Baby Celine will bring a new perception to the meaning of family to him.
Enjoy motherhood!
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hi Gan, last time when u go FET, how is your accu schedulw wif Dr zou like? i read from other thread it is accu for 5day before ER for fresh cycle...not sure abt FET.... thanks!
 
Hi Elle!

Congratulations! Enjoy the baby!!! Isnt it great!

Girls thanks for the support but I really dont think I am stronger because of the 3 miscarriage. We are just force to take a reality check.

Lyn! Extremely busy today but really want to post this to you

You mentioned you done your thyroid test. What test exactly you took? TSH, T4 or for antibodies TPO and TGA? I am doing a lot of readings on it follow by a Saturday article about recurrent miscarriage and how apt my bloodworks for my regular thyroid review came back. My thyroid levels are normal range and lower so my endo told me to hold off thyroxine incase it go the other way hyperthyroidism however my TPO and TGA are way whack and apparently nothing you can do about it. The antibodies just shows I have am autoimmune disese and a high risk for spontaneous abortions. and yet I wonder why are these essential test not in the miscarriage profile test!

This could also be the case/ reason for your negative IVF... HOWEVER all is not gone. NUH is doing a research and trying some intraveous drip for ladies before conception and during 1st trimester apparently the solution to curb the NK cells and control these antibodies. I have made an appointment with them but have to rescheduled it due to duty travel. The pits!!! It is something for you to look into... would you consider getting an appt with them?

I now know why the IVF ladies munching on brazil nuts.. Contains loads of selenium and believe to lower antibodies. However take heed cannot overdose on them... recommended not more than 200mcg per day as we do get them from our daily food.

Ok back to work just so excited by all this read up because I finally see a dot of hope although it could end the other way round where I am destined to not have children of my own.

all the ladies just appreciate you bear with my nonsense!
 
tigi, after my failed fresh, i started with once a week accu. And 1 week before my ET accu, i did daily accu. Dr zou told me 5 days continuous of accu is good enuff, but because my lining was not ideal, i did another 2 more days. I also took dr zou's med for building lining for 1 week i think. But my lining grew very slow for 1 week plus only increase 0.8mm
 
hi everyone..

wow.. so many changes since the last time i read this thread! i cant keep track ler

for those starting on ur cycle.. good luck and stay positive k?
 
Hi ladies..

My 1st SO IUI attempt at TMC failed.. period came last Tuesday. Felt really down and sad, cried a lot over the past week, but hubby encouraged me to press on and do the 2nd attempt, so now we are at CD 12 of the 2nd cycle. Something weird is happening to me, from CD 7 to CD 9 I was supposed to jab 112.5iu of Gonal F, but I didn't cos' it ran out, but my follicles grew 2mm per day to 14 and 16mm on Thursday. I was rather excited, and jabbed another 150iu last 2 days thinking it will surely increase egg size to 18 and 20mm do trigger jab tonight (Sat) and IUI on Monday afternoon. Sadly, the eggs didn't grow at all past 2 days! Doc say if this is the max then should trigger tonight still, but I felt so hesitant cos' triggering at 16mm seems too early? And with only 1 egg chances seem so low
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What should I do/ eat to grow the egg bigger?? Wonder if I can take another failure..

Sorry for the ramble, I just feel so disheartened and feel like giving up. Why is it so easy for every other women to give birth but so hard for me. It seems like a bottomless black hole and I really wonder when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hate to be so negative but I can't help it sometimes.

Hey, I would actually love to meet up with the sisters here for some girly chat and get to know each other, like what meow said it's so hard to keep track via the forum sometimes. If you guys are interested to meet up for dinner sometime soon, drop me an email at [email protected] =)
 
hopewaves, Hugs hugs. Failures is something that no one wld like to encounter, but life cannot be plain sailing right?

I duno abt your history but does your doctor thinks that SO IUI is recommendable for your case? Cos SO IUI's success rate is lower than ivf. How come you will run out of Gonal F? Didn't the clinic give u enough dosage to last thru the cycle?

Maybe drinking chicken essence will help? My last ivf cycle, I drank chicken essence every 2 days and follicles really grow quite fast. So you might give it a try?

Don't give up! I understand hw u feel. When I failed my ivf cycle with no frozens in Jan, I also say I wan to give up. But when you cool off and start to think, we hv to just try till all chances are fully utilised before calling it a day. I hope you don't come to this stage and will bfp on your 2nd attempt.

Take care and stay relax.
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gan, thks ... i will also ask dr zou tmr when i see her in the morning for accu... since my first scan is only Day 14 after taking all the pills to build up the lining, i wun be able to knoe the thckness till then. but i will just go for accu ba

hopewaves, when i failed my SOIUI i also feel very sad. First time subjected myself to the stim injection and put in a lot of hopes to succeed. Cried also when AF came. Understand totally your feelings of desperation and dejection! But i guess for girls like us, i agree with rostrum that we just have to keep trying and trying. At the end of the day, we want to be honest with ourselves that we have tried and able to say matter of factly, nah this is the outcome (regardless of +ve or -ve outcome) with a clear conscience. This could be a long journey so we got to gear ourselves for a good combat whether emotionally, physically or financially. & dun give up hope! Because hope will keep us going and going... & it is normal to falter till the day we become the zen-ish guru about things like this. Everytime my confidence waver, i come to this forum for SOS ..haha it really helps because the sistas here are very helpful, when that happen, you just have to pick yourself up and move on again... dun give up, all the best to you for this cycle!
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Hi Lyn and Tigi,

I have submitted the application for child adoption but apparently the queue to get approval takes 5-6 mths.

I have been through what all of u are going thru now IVF, etc so this thread and all of u are close to my heart so every now n then pop in to see hows everyone.

All of u are so brave and relentless and so kind and encouraging to one another, i feel the love here..

Jia You! Jia You! All the best, girls!!!
 
Hi Ling, so grateful to see ur post! I did the full thyroid test and yes although my free t4 and tsh is normal my antibodies are rather high..saw an endo in mt e his comments are 10 percent of healthy female population will have this type of antibodies but those will have this antibodies may or may not have thyroid problems before. He also commented that those with thyroid antibodies have slightly higher miscarriage rates but apparently no studies had shown to have any effective treatment. His advice is to continue my thyroid med and take things easy which i felt wats the point if seeing him again rite? I did some research online and it seems there are some treatment ie prenisolone to help but not sure how effective.

U mention abt making appt with nuh, ya of course i m keen and hope they can help ppl like us. I thought to myself why so unlucky to have this antibodies, another hurdle to pregnancy! Yucky! Which department in NUH shld we go? Can u gv me the number for to make appt? When is ur appt? Perhaps we can meet up to go together hehe... Ling do u mind to discuss more on the phone? If u free u can call me at 91734741
 
Hopewaves, hugz. All ladies here know how u feel.. yes its all the disappointment and lose of hope when one went thru sitm, meds etc and the outcome is bloody menses(sorry to be gross). When i went for 2 times of iui and recent ivf i m so scared to see blood whenever i pass urine and this is actually very very stressful. Hopewaves dun be disheartened coz this sitm is not excellent but u never know... somtimes drs told us everything is so good but still nonthing yet sometimes drs say things dun looks good but still BFP... so dun gv up hope.. press on.

Tigi, yes u r very right. As long as we tried our best wats the outcomes as long as our conscience is clear. Remember its GOD timing. U press on too, take things easy ok...

Rostrum, anymore gathering again? Remember dun get upset by those stupid ppl ok...

Die, thks for dropping by....

Meow, long time no hear from u..

Miraclebaby, ER soon?
 
Lyn, SMS you tomorrow okay
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..

I got my new appt schedule for next month on the 8 oct ... I just tried my luck on the website and list my autoimmune diease I.e presence of thyroid antibodies and my 3 miscarriages. They came back the same day with an appt. You have to make sure you list your failed iui and ivfs so they know how to help you. I was directed to the rheumatolgy department and a doctor who was part of the team that help the lady thru a successful pregnancy after her 3 miscarriage. I am so excited for us Although well aware that this could be the reality check and confirmation that we might never have children of our own.

At the same time I suggest you start on selenium because it can lower the thyroid antibodies. The presence of these antibodies actually shows almost somesort of hashitomo thyroidistis. It may take time but being hypothyroid is almost the next progression. My advise also is to stay off soy product.. Not totally but limit yourself not too often because I seriously think they will whack the thyroid because I am an ex soYa addict
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talk to you tomorrow
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Thanks for your encouragement, lyn, tigi and rostrum.
I really needed the support. I'm now waiting outside Dr's room do the scan and see if the eggs grew. If it didn't, then perhaps it's time to call it quits for now.

Honestly I am also tired of being sad everyday, I miss the pre-TTC days when I'm so much more upbeat and positive about life, full of dreams and visions for the future. Now I'm just living day by day, feeling sad the moment I'm triggered by the sight of pregnant women or babies. I dun wanna waste my life this way, but I do find it hard to climb out and stay out of this black hole in my life.

I really think you gals are all very brave to keep pressing on. If this cycle of so iui dun work, it'll be the 3rd this year, enough is enough. I will take a break, feel broken emotionally and financially Liao. Thinking of going krabi or Koh samui in dec with Hubby to chill out, anybody has been there before? Any feedback? Thanks!
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Hi ladies,

I've just seen the Dr and sad to say, for some reason the egg didn't grow for last few days, in fact even regressed in size. Well its not up to us how our body functions, I'm trying to pick up the shattered hopes of an iui this cycle and move on as best as I can. My dh thinks it's because I'm too stressed and uptight about everything, that's why. I also think I am but it's so hard not to be stressed with all the financial and emotional investment. Anyway, will be taking a break for now.. Beat of luck to all you ladies out there!
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Hi Ling, really nice talking to u. Hope u had enough rest last night. Thks for all the info. Yes we will do our best and leave it to GOD...Lets jiayou together
 
Hopewaves, can understand the stress and disappointment about the IUI. Before I embark on my IVF, I went through 4 months of clomid+HCG jabs, 3 IUI including 1 SO-IUI. And sometimes I felt that baby dancing during that period of time was mechanical as we would do based on the doctor's instruction. But I guess for the sake of having a child, we'd go through anything.

Were u very stressed with work during your current IUI cycle? When I did my FET this April, I was stressed too and my lining didn't grew and in fact during the second scan, the sonographer has to measure many times because my lining seems to have shrink in thickness. It was only after I decided to take leave from work, and the lining managed to "creep" back to the almost minimum thickness for embryo transfer. So important to keep yourself in a relax mood and I am sure you follicles would grow nice and big.

Take care and Jia you.
 
Hi gan,

Ya you're spot on. I was really quite stressed cos of a new job I started in July and had 2 big projects thrown on me immediately. Perhaps I shouldn't have changed jobs in the midst of such a trying procedure, but it was better prospects and pay that's why I made the switched. I was also unfortunately quite sick throughout this period with flu an cough. Perhaps I will lay off the treatments for this period since I'm so stressed.. Can't relax at all. Somemore being a new job, I dun have much leave so can't ven take a proper break anytime soon.
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Ladies

My IVF has gone much worse than I had ever imagined. The last week was really emotionally draining and I couldn't update you all. To cut a long story short, I had like 3 days of gastric intestinal flu (fever, vomitting and diarhoea) and that complety threw off my stimulation. Not unexpected since everything was being purged out literally from every opening in my body. After the first scan when my follies were growing well, each scan revealed something worse - first womb lining not growing, then some follies not growing anymore and remained like 12mm. Then like they say, bad things don't come singly, my hubby got a fever last Friday and that added to my stress thinking about the effect on his sperm and whether he will spread his germs to me in my weakened state. All this was really v stressful for me and I have been sleeping poorly for like 4 hours for a couple of days over the last week.

On monday, I had my ER and I only collected 6 mature eggs despite having more than 12 follies. The rest were just too small. This is literally half from my Jan ivf. Then it was the sheer torture of waiting to hear about the fertilization because I just have so few eggs this time. I had to insert the cyclogest like a zombie since ER just in case my embies fold and I have to do a forced transfer despite a horrible lining. On Tuesday, dr called to say that they only ICSI 4 cos the remaining 2 were still not mature enough and while all 4 fertilized, only 3 are growing normally. I was really upset as this is vvv much worse than my last ivf and thinking how can we even go lower than the 6 eggs! I was on tenderhooks for dr to call me on Wednesday to finally close the whole chapter on whether the remaining 3 are good grades and can be frozen. He finally did and told me I only have 2 embryos left but the good news is that they are both perfect grade 1 (KK grade 5) and I can finally stop all my medication.

This was really a v trying time and while not the best result, I have these 2 precious grade 1 embies to hold on to. Will do my FET in nov or dec once my body is ready. My body has gone through such a terrible strain. I would have literally gone insane if I had to do the ET on Wednesday and I said to God to please not let me go though the transfer as I had zero confidence physically, mentally and emotionally after this whole fiasco.

I do feel insecure going in ET with only 2 embies considering I had 3 and 4 during previous ETs and they were still BFN. I am definitely very disappointed and sad (considering all the efforts I put in over the last few months) but I am not yet crushed and I will continue to walk by faith.
 
Mbaby, all it not gone yet... u still have two embies. Rememeber if its wat meant to be yours u will BFP with juz one embies!! Understand ur body hv gone thru terrible stage rest well for now. IVF is really very physical and emotionally draining. I juz recalled my hubby also had tonsil inflammation juz one week before the sperm collection and i remember being very sad and angry, it could also be the sitmulation that is affecting us.
 
Miraclebaby, have faith in your 2 embbies, moreover they are of perfect grades! Take these couple of months to rest and regain your health for the FET. I am sure we will hear good news soon. Can understand the stress you been through as I was also freaking out when my lining didn't grow during my FET. Go pamper yourself with retail therapy or a short getaway.

Hopewaves, going into a new job is definitely stressful as you need to get familarise with new working environment, colleagues. Maybe like you said take sometime to settle yourself in the new work environment, go for a short hols before you embark on the next IUI. While you take a break, you can also look into other means of preparing your body such as TCM, taking some health supplements etc.
December should be a good time to go Krabi. I went there few years ago. Find the place more relaxing compared to Phuket. If you enjoy the sea, you could go island hoping. They have day tours which you could book. We went to a few islands for snorkling and it was really fun. They have nice hotels along the beach and you can get good thai seafood too. We stayed in a boutique hotel, The Cliff when we were in Krabi. Abit far from the beach but I like the hotel coz it was a cozy and very private resort.

As for Samui, I went like 13 years ago...so can't really say much coz I can't remember much.But I think in december, there are frequent showers in Samui? Maybe have to check the weather there if you are thinking of going Samui.
 
Lyn, so far no gatherings liao….phew! else I will siam…

Hopewaves, I hv been to Krabi before. I like there…v relax and can “nua” there. Not much shopping though. U can go island hopping. Oil paintings there are cheap. Can order first and tell them what u like on the 1st day and collect before u depart cos oil paintings need drying. Take this time to chill and forget abt ttc for the time being. Hope u feel better after the trip.
 
Hugs miraclebaby, feel so sorry to hear what u went thru. U must hv felt v terrible. Hugs hugs..

U still hv 2 perfect embbies waiting for your to transfer to yr womb. all is not gone yet, chin up! Take these few mths to build up your health again. With a strong body, I am sure the embbies will stick to you firmly.

Jia you and dun lose hope!
 
Die, thks for ur sharing, hope you can hear from the ministry soon regarding your application approval! Ya i do agree we ladies r working v hard agst all odds to fulfil our dreams of being a mummy... so r u, adoption is an option too and effort, different kind i felt though (but i can't say exactly what cos i am no experience) needs to be put in too. Feel that been able to give love to an adopted baby like one's own is another expression of the greatest kind of motherly love, Jia you! Jia you!

Lyn, thanks i will press on... the OCP i am taking now makes bad mood swings out of me during the initial days... feel like screaming in the house to release the pressure inside me! SEriously dunno if my body is at the most optiimum health to do FET... i just hang on... dun rush into treatments if you are not ready, it is a part of our life journey afterall, more haste less speed ... Jia you!

hopewaves, being stressed up is no good for ttc... this is a general advise... Job change can be a stressful event and there is nothing wrong to move up to a job with better prospect. i think u are trying your best to juggle, so dun blame yourself too much, listen to yur body and take things one thing at a time. 船到桥头自 然植，Jia you! Jia you!

miraclebaby, can understand how you feel, cos i am like you. I am not able to do ET during fresh and got to wait for FET. Disappointed with myself esp when i read from forum ladies cycle same time as me already BFP, pass first trimester somemore now. Always tell myself it could be a blessing in disguise since my body is not ready so no point proceeding to ET, ultimately what we want is success right... meanwhile take this opportunity to nurse yourback back to health, Jia you! Jia you!

Gan, i went to Phuket a few months back, nice place, the resort i went to is near the air port, very quiet and secluded. A great place to quieten the mind with hubby together,forget about ttc plan and bond together as a couple again. Heard Krabi also not bad, beautiful beaches... I find Phuket Pataong area is very noisy and zai because of the people, pubs, restaurants...

Rostrum i am now gg to dr zou twice a week following her advice. She doesn;t chat with me much but it is okay la, i not very talkative type in person. But can feel she is a empathetic sinseh... as usual, can see she is seeing many ivf patients.

i wonder how are the other ladies doing.
 
Tigi, nice to see u here. When is your expected ET? If u feels too much pressure inside u, go for a jog or a slow walk at the park. hearing the birds chirping and the nature can loosen you a bit. Jia you ok?
 
Thanks gals

Do you girls feel hot when you are on those progesterone inserts? I even experience some occassions of night sweats (when my aircon temp goes above the preset 25 deg while in auto mode) while on cyclogest and I am wondering if this is normal.

Tigi
You jia you too! Your ET would be in Oct?
 
miraclebaby, the last time I was on crinone insert and it is only one time in the morning, don't think I experience night sweats leh...Perhaps my progestrone insert is different from yours.
 
miraclebaby, i do feel warmer when i am on cyclogest. I think with higher progestrone in our body, we feel warmer.

Tigi, u starting fet soon? All the best!
 
*nod nod* my ET would be in last week of Oct estimate, assuming lining swee swee and no hiccups, keep fingers crossed

thks gals for your blessings!
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Hi Girls..

I think you gals really just deserved a BFP and nothing else for all the effort to TTCing.. I really dont know why the road is pave with so much stumbling blocks that hits us no matter what we do!

Hi Lyn,

Manage to get an appointment with NUH yet?
 
Hi Iloveshoes,

Never received anything though...

I am in a different timezone and going to bed now.. so I will check back later.

=)
 
Hi ling, u r outstation now? Did get an appointment with Nuh but it's in dec but I m not sure whether I m seeing the right doctor. Hey let me knw when u r back in sg, perhaps I need some info from u regarding the appt..., meanwhile take care!

Ladies, pls take care. Afterall this is a really tough and lonely journey hope we get to see the light soon. Jiayou!
 
Hi Lyn,

Yeah I am out and will be back by Sat. Maybe you can call me in the evening or something. How come they give you so long! They give me like the apt in 2 weeks time leh..

Hi Shoes,

If you are reading this I didnt have any emails from you.
 
Hey sisters, sorry for Mia as I had emergency c section last sun as was bleeding n water bag also gave way. Now back home but still catching my breath. Got no time to read previous postings n now writing using iPhone to write. Will update later when more settled. Baby a bit small bt gaining wt now. Meanwhile. I am still here n jiayou to me n everyone here.
 


babygalore how r u doing? U discharge so fast after a c section? Baby need to be in nursury care? Do rest well and congrats!

Elle how r u? Celebrated full month right?

Lyn and rostrum i am still hanging around....how r u gals doing?
 
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