Childless Not By Choice Group
- Thread starter babygalore09
- Start date
Gan,
Ya...walking is good exercise too...
Ling,
Ya...hope will improve and improve...bt my bbt aft O has always not been v high one..highest oni 36.8...and all TCMs keep complaining it is not v good...sometimes I find taking bbt is stressful...bt no choice, every TCM will require us to take...
Like today, Dr Zou saw my bbt not v high and she add something to my medi..>I duno wat tt is la...hope it will improve lo...
All gynaes dun believes in bbt...to them bbts are BS!
Ya...walking is good exercise too...
Ling,
Ya...hope will improve and improve...bt my bbt aft O has always not been v high one..highest oni 36.8...and all TCMs keep complaining it is not v good...sometimes I find taking bbt is stressful...bt no choice, every TCM will require us to take...
Like today, Dr Zou saw my bbt not v high and she add something to my medi..>I duno wat tt is la...hope it will improve lo...
All gynaes dun believes in bbt...to them bbts are BS!
Rostrum,
My gynae believe in BBT though.. she insisted me to start taking last year when I went to her. Told her no protection close to a year no strike. Skali dont know is because know the cycle more well while taking BBT I strike in my 1st month.. same as for 2nd pregnancy...
My gynae insist dont check.. say give it 1 more try.. sigh.. She say additional stress and could be just bad luck.. I actually suspect is my random late O that cost the MC.. maybe lining too old not good or egg quality affected. Or even luteal phase defect when late O.. My 1st pregnancy, Twins carried to 12 weeks.. happily go for 2nd scan realize heartbeat suddenly stop! No bleeding or anything at all which make it so difficult to accept. Devastating and till date I never got over it. My recent mc is blight ovum never see anything in the sac so wasnt as upset as my twins.
Gan, your pre O is always 36.0X and below? You have your thyroid level checked before? My endocrin doc say pre o below 36.00 might be indicative of hypothyroid or too high pre O might be indicative of hyperthyroid.
My gynae believe in BBT though.. she insisted me to start taking last year when I went to her. Told her no protection close to a year no strike. Skali dont know is because know the cycle more well while taking BBT I strike in my 1st month.. same as for 2nd pregnancy...
My gynae insist dont check.. say give it 1 more try.. sigh.. She say additional stress and could be just bad luck.. I actually suspect is my random late O that cost the MC.. maybe lining too old not good or egg quality affected. Or even luteal phase defect when late O.. My 1st pregnancy, Twins carried to 12 weeks.. happily go for 2nd scan realize heartbeat suddenly stop! No bleeding or anything at all which make it so difficult to accept. Devastating and till date I never got over it. My recent mc is blight ovum never see anything in the sac so wasnt as upset as my twins.
Gan, your pre O is always 36.0X and below? You have your thyroid level checked before? My endocrin doc say pre o below 36.00 might be indicative of hypothyroid or too high pre O might be indicative of hyperthyroid.
Gan, waiting for march menses...
Ling, i m mild hyperthyroid... no doctor mentioned to me before abt the indicative of BBT to diagnose thyroid condition leh.. Temp 1 day before O day unsually will be abit higher then dip for one day or two.
As u mention for ivf to choose chromosome u need to do PGD..
Ling, i m mild hyperthyroid... no doctor mentioned to me before abt the indicative of BBT to diagnose thyroid condition leh.. Temp 1 day before O day unsually will be abit higher then dip for one day or two.
As u mention for ivf to choose chromosome u need to do PGD..
Ling my pre-O is usually around 36.2 to 36.3.
I just had a failed IVF cycle in Dec. For this current cycle, somehow the BBT is low. I didn't know BBT is linked to thyroid condition. I did blood test in Oct 2008, gynae says normal.Maybe i shld do another BT to check bah.
Who is your gynae? So sorry to hear abt your loss of your twins.
Lyn what is PGD?
I just had a failed IVF cycle in Dec. For this current cycle, somehow the BBT is low. I didn't know BBT is linked to thyroid condition. I did blood test in Oct 2008, gynae says normal.Maybe i shld do another BT to check bah.
Who is your gynae? So sorry to hear abt your loss of your twins.
Lyn what is PGD?
Lyn, on medication for sure, although on a very low dose because my thyroid reading are not too way off. The only reason why I start TTC is because my endo doc gave the go ahead. When I got a positive HPT I immediately book appt with my endo doc for blood test and monitoring even before gynae. So Kiasu... However all the readings for my regular 4 weeks BT all is normal range so my endo and gynae both rule out my thyroid as an issue for both mc. On the BBT you can try to google on it because I have read some comments on forum when I did a search in my TTC quest.
Temp 1 day or what is fine.. is consistent below 36.00 pre O as in my case. So is always best to get a BT done. The reason for such a low BBT is because your body is not producing enough hormones and hence your metabolism slows down. Metabolism slow down also result in less body warmth as body is slow to burn anything. That was what is explained to me by my endo doc. As in the case of hyperthyroid, body goes overdrive with metabolism rate and hence body temp maintain high due to the constant activity in the body.
Temp 1 day or what is fine.. is consistent below 36.00 pre O as in my case. So is always best to get a BT done. The reason for such a low BBT is because your body is not producing enough hormones and hence your metabolism slows down. Metabolism slow down also result in less body warmth as body is slow to burn anything. That was what is explained to me by my endo doc. As in the case of hyperthyroid, body goes overdrive with metabolism rate and hence body temp maintain high due to the constant activity in the body.
Gan, if one cycle only never mind lah.. just continue to monitor. I actually go for a annual Blood test for a series of check like kidney, liver enzymes reading etc that my company offer to staff. Always have had very good reading but somehow last year during the annual BT my reading for thyroid went warp and that is how I have to start seeing an endocrin doc... sigh
Gynae is Dr Heng from ESH..
Gynae is Dr Heng from ESH..
Hi ladies,
Have not been posting for a while but have been following up on reading the past posting. Things have been quite busy with the CNY and work. There have been some major changes in the workplace so still trying to come to terms with them.
Quite a few of you ladies going on holiday..Lyn, Gan and Rostrum. Me so envious...was thinking of going for a short trip in taiwan but heard there is an earthquack there last week. Now with this development in office, may not be a good time to take leave.
Talking about babyshower...just got an invite for a full month from my cousin...I think they struck during their honeymoon....fell happy for him but can't help feeling abit depress...hiaz some people have it easy. Don't feel like going but may have to send family there....
Have not been posting for a while but have been following up on reading the past posting. Things have been quite busy with the CNY and work. There have been some major changes in the workplace so still trying to come to terms with them.
Quite a few of you ladies going on holiday..Lyn, Gan and Rostrum. Me so envious...was thinking of going for a short trip in taiwan but heard there is an earthquack there last week. Now with this development in office, may not be a good time to take leave.
Talking about babyshower...just got an invite for a full month from my cousin...I think they struck during their honeymoon....fell happy for him but can't help feeling abit depress...hiaz some people have it easy. Don't feel like going but may have to send family there....
just sharing my exp with fren's babyshower ... i try to go early... talked to fren... ask some questions abt her birth, that the time mum got time to talk to me, cos will get bz as more visitors come... then tackle the food ... talked a while if met up with other frend... then politely take my leave after an hr or so ... strictly... haha... i sort of feel happier this way... one hand i keep contact with fren, the other kind to myself as i limit it all to one hr or so.... like a bargain with myself! 
Tigi, agreed ur way of doing also can avoid la but will u sort of feel stressed coz always afraid of having those unsensitive ppl who popped that question out of the blue...
Liz, my menses still not here but i think also gone case liao coz having mood swings these few days.. so u r not alone. Decide on ur FET la.. A few ladies at the ivf thread BFP during FET so u want to be the next must get ur butt moving liao hor... We will be cheering for u..
Jude, ya taiwan like having earthquake again.. choose somewhere la like HK, japan or even malaysia... relax abit lor
Liz, my menses still not here but i think also gone case liao coz having mood swings these few days.. so u r not alone. Decide on ur FET la.. A few ladies at the ivf thread BFP during FET so u want to be the next must get ur butt moving liao hor... We will be cheering for u..
Jude, ya taiwan like having earthquake again.. choose somewhere la like HK, japan or even malaysia... relax abit lor
Ling,
I m sorry to hear abt your losses...somemore the 1st one is a twins...
I dun noe hw u tink bt if I were u, I will go for a thorough check, seek a 2nd opinion before I try again....Its good tt now u go to Dr Zou for treatment bt TCM does not noe everything...sometimes we still need machine to tell wat is going on inside our body....
Like my fren's fren, went thru 2 M/Cs and went for a thorough investigation...turns out tt she has a kind of blood tt rejects preganancy...even if strike also cannot sustain the pregnancy..I not trying to scare u...bt jus wan to share wat I hv heard from my fren....
And gynaes and TCMs say there is nothing they can do abt this...so now they can oni depend on miracles...I dare not probe much cos heard this gal sink into depression after 2 M/Cs...I really feel sad for her though I oni seen her for a couple of times...
Bt I strongly believe if u are able to conceive naturally, u will become a mother one day de...
Jus my 2 cents worth...hope I din offend u in any ways...
I m sorry to hear abt your losses...somemore the 1st one is a twins...
I dun noe hw u tink bt if I were u, I will go for a thorough check, seek a 2nd opinion before I try again....Its good tt now u go to Dr Zou for treatment bt TCM does not noe everything...sometimes we still need machine to tell wat is going on inside our body....
Like my fren's fren, went thru 2 M/Cs and went for a thorough investigation...turns out tt she has a kind of blood tt rejects preganancy...even if strike also cannot sustain the pregnancy..I not trying to scare u...bt jus wan to share wat I hv heard from my fren....
And gynaes and TCMs say there is nothing they can do abt this...so now they can oni depend on miracles...I dare not probe much cos heard this gal sink into depression after 2 M/Cs...I really feel sad for her though I oni seen her for a couple of times...
Bt I strongly believe if u are able to conceive naturally, u will become a mother one day de...
Jus my 2 cents worth...hope I din offend u in any ways...
Gals,
Recently I also got a woe...
My newly added SIL announced in her ROM tt she will try her best for bb soon...and let my PIL hv their 1st grandchild....
I was like swearing inside....cos close relatives and frens are there...and ALL of them noes we hv been married for so many years....I dun noe wat she is trying to do? I feel sad & sorry, relieved and angree at the same time..Mixed feelings...
Sad & sorry, cos I noe I cannot lay eggs for the time being for my PIL.
Relieved, she can take over some pressure from us to bear grandchild for my PIL
Angree, she is being v insensitive noeing v well dh and I are trying for bb...she dun nd to SPELL it out for the whole world to noe and make a comparison for the 2 of us...
Sigh! I din tel my dh abt all these cos I noe he sure side his own brother de....
Recently I also got a woe...
My newly added SIL announced in her ROM tt she will try her best for bb soon...and let my PIL hv their 1st grandchild....
I was like swearing inside....cos close relatives and frens are there...and ALL of them noes we hv been married for so many years....I dun noe wat she is trying to do? I feel sad & sorry, relieved and angree at the same time..Mixed feelings...
Sad & sorry, cos I noe I cannot lay eggs for the time being for my PIL.
Relieved, she can take over some pressure from us to bear grandchild for my PIL
Angree, she is being v insensitive noeing v well dh and I are trying for bb...she dun nd to SPELL it out for the whole world to noe and make a comparison for the 2 of us...
Sigh! I din tel my dh abt all these cos I noe he sure side his own brother de....
Rostrum, same thing happened to me during reunion dinner this year. DH gave ang pao to younger brother(although 1 had already ROM) and say this year last year, next year we giving ang pao next year they have to give back to us... U know wat my this SIL to be say? She say no problem but hor maybe maybe she will give birth first.... see.... how sensitive this type of ppl can be. Everyone knows u r married for 5 years although we didnt really annouced that we r trying for baby.. I was very irriated by her words but i told myself its ok coz u will never know wat will happen and such words cant to said too early coz she havent give birth yet how can she be so sure she will belong to those easy to conceive kind right? I m not being nasty or bad hearted but nonthing is guarantee. I also didnt know i will have difficulty conceivng ... I told my DH i m angry abt wat she had said and DH said i m sensitive ....
Lyn,
Yes, tis is wat I tink too....hv not try yet and keep saying they will hv a bb soon...I really cannot stand...Got egg then say la...Oops..sour grapes...
Tts y u noe y I dun wan to tel my dh..cos I noe he will scold me for being too sensitive..
So i swallow down and keep quiet..I din tel anyone too except the ppl here....sigh!
Yes, tis is wat I tink too....hv not try yet and keep saying they will hv a bb soon...I really cannot stand...Got egg then say la...Oops..sour grapes...
Tts y u noe y I dun wan to tel my dh..cos I noe he will scold me for being too sensitive..
So i swallow down and keep quiet..I din tel anyone too except the ppl here....sigh!
Rostrum, for me i get angry that night so came back and showed my black face to DH. Although he at first he said i m sensitive after i told him how i felt he actually agreeded that the SIL to be shldnt say that...
Ya i also think in my heart can lay eggs then say if not dun boost ard so much, GNS!
Ya i also think in my heart can lay eggs then say if not dun boost ard so much, GNS!
Lyn,
If one day my SIL or yr SIL cannot lay eggs so soon, we will be laffing in our hearts...I noe I m being v bad or evil here...bt this is hw I tink la...
Bt on the other hand, I also hope she let my PIL hv grandchildren soon cos they v old le...v ironical hor?
Bt the thought of her announcing to the whole world abt her bb plans makes me boil! Bt now I m ok le...
If one day my SIL or yr SIL cannot lay eggs so soon, we will be laffing in our hearts...I noe I m being v bad or evil here...bt this is hw I tink la...
Bt on the other hand, I also hope she let my PIL hv grandchildren soon cos they v old le...v ironical hor?
Bt the thought of her announcing to the whole world abt her bb plans makes me boil! Bt now I m ok le...
rostrum, lyn.... your sil are so insensitive! how can they say things like that? i bet they think giving birth is as easy as abc... nonetheless even if they are the normal couple, shouldn't have say... show that they are very childish lor.... rostrum's sil somemore rom only.... i wasn;t thinking of bb when i rom btw... isn;t it twosome the more normal thinking? anyway, dun put their words to heart k.... ya jia you jia you jia you!!
Lyn
hahaha.. dunno when's a good time for FET... work etc..
U should have said to your SIL "Erm... u mean u are already having sex before the chinese ceremony.. wah.. so desperate for sex har... cannot wait har.. aiyoz... tsk tsk tsk" then walk away...
Rostrum
wah.. that SIL of yours also so mean.. this kind of thing better to keep it quiet.. i mean anything can happen. Go ahead lah.. first grandchild no use one lah.. will be spoilt rotten by grandparents.. no good.. then grandparents will interfere with how u take care of the kid.. and so on... let her have the honours.. it's ok.
hahaha.. dunno when's a good time for FET... work etc..
U should have said to your SIL "Erm... u mean u are already having sex before the chinese ceremony.. wah.. so desperate for sex har... cannot wait har.. aiyoz... tsk tsk tsk" then walk away...
Rostrum
wah.. that SIL of yours also so mean.. this kind of thing better to keep it quiet.. i mean anything can happen. Go ahead lah.. first grandchild no use one lah.. will be spoilt rotten by grandparents.. no good.. then grandparents will interfere with how u take care of the kid.. and so on... let her have the honours.. it's ok.
Hi Girls,
Goodness loh! What kinda of SIL are these!! So horrible! For me no SIL at my hubby side because elder brother not married! Otherwise cannot imagine what I can be put through. Although my in laws are takes over the irritation. Imagine they call up my folks during last year CNY and ask why I am not planning. Than during my gramps funeral where my mum in total daze because it was a sudden death and frankly in no mood to do anything also kenna ask by my in laws again why I am not having kids!
Rostrum, I really wanted to go for the testing intitally but just want to hold the faith 1 last time to avoid giving myself additional stress. Actually when I told hubby I wanted to go to an expensive gynae to test he say why sentenced ourselves now. Maybe is denial also just want to give it one more chance. Is standard protocol for gynae to recommend testing only on the 3rd pregnancy. So I thought I will tiao this 3 months with TCM and one more time.. If confirm blood disorder and stuff or what of course wont be trying anymore. Hopefully it was just very bad luck and 3rd will be a charm =)
Goodness loh! What kinda of SIL are these!! So horrible! For me no SIL at my hubby side because elder brother not married! Otherwise cannot imagine what I can be put through. Although my in laws are takes over the irritation. Imagine they call up my folks during last year CNY and ask why I am not planning. Than during my gramps funeral where my mum in total daze because it was a sudden death and frankly in no mood to do anything also kenna ask by my in laws again why I am not having kids!
Rostrum, I really wanted to go for the testing intitally but just want to hold the faith 1 last time to avoid giving myself additional stress. Actually when I told hubby I wanted to go to an expensive gynae to test he say why sentenced ourselves now. Maybe is denial also just want to give it one more chance. Is standard protocol for gynae to recommend testing only on the 3rd pregnancy. So I thought I will tiao this 3 months with TCM and one more time.. If confirm blood disorder and stuff or what of course wont be trying anymore. Hopefully it was just very bad luck and 3rd will be a charm =)
Liz, that was a good one!! But dun want to talk to her too much coz also not ver click with her leh... she is 2 years my senior.. Coz she said that while we were having dinner dun want to affect my appetite.
Ling, no SIL is the best coz SIL tends to compare here and there... Sorry to ask, ur 2 mc did the doc send the tissue of the foetus for kartotyping? Mean to check for any chromosomal disorder...
Ling, no SIL is the best coz SIL tends to compare here and there... Sorry to ask, ur 2 mc did the doc send the tissue of the foetus for kartotyping? Mean to check for any chromosomal disorder...
Lyn,
Today during lunch, I told my koligs abt my SIL and they told me I shd say "can bear children then say"...I say I cannot do tt...cos my dh will be in a spot lo...so I swallow...
Tigi,
Precisely!!! Where got ppl announce in their ROM they wan to bear children soon! C'mon la...ROM oni leh..somemore they still going for customary next year...
I tink my SIL trying to challenge me la...bt if she really wans to do tt I also got nothing to say la...cos I really cannot ma...
Today during lunch, I told my koligs abt my SIL and they told me I shd say "can bear children then say"...I say I cannot do tt...cos my dh will be in a spot lo...so I swallow...
Tigi,
Precisely!!! Where got ppl announce in their ROM they wan to bear children soon! C'mon la...ROM oni leh..somemore they still going for customary next year...
I tink my SIL trying to challenge me la...bt if she really wans to do tt I also got nothing to say la...cos I really cannot ma...
Liz,
Ya....I cannot be bothered la...even if she going to announce she preggie next mth I also lidat...cos cannot compare one...
Let her be the first one then....bt if she really din bear children in the near future..I will remind her!!! Cos she announce in her ROM ma...
Ya....I cannot be bothered la...even if she going to announce she preggie next mth I also lidat...cos cannot compare one...
Let her be the first one then....bt if she really din bear children in the near future..I will remind her!!! Cos she announce in her ROM ma...
Ling,
Yr ILs are such a pester!!! OMG...mabbe they all all their hopes on u all la...jus like me last time...bt now no more,....got someone willing to be the first one...
Ya, dun be influenced by wat I post ok? Do things at yr comfort pace...most importantly dh is there to support u....
Sure, I m sure u will be a mother soon! Must keep telling ourselves good things are on the way and it shall be it!
Yr ILs are such a pester!!! OMG...mabbe they all all their hopes on u all la...jus like me last time...bt now no more,....got someone willing to be the first one...
Ya, dun be influenced by wat I post ok? Do things at yr comfort pace...most importantly dh is there to support u....
Sure, I m sure u will be a mother soon! Must keep telling ourselves good things are on the way and it shall be it!
rostrum, think your sil thought she got obligation to zhuan zong jie dai.... being the "da sao"..... or if not just trying hard to be a crowd pleaser... like the in laws and elders... ya, look from the bright side, now there is someone rushing to share the unnecessary burden with you le.... cos imo, having kids shld be a fulfilment between hubby n wife who want to start a family of own, and not obligation! But some people of older generation will disagree with me lor.... in that sense, envy you... cos my hb is the only son ... no one else to share the expectation of in laws with me n hb.....
Lyn,
No need to say sorryalways good to share experiences..
The twins did not sent because it was not recommended as first mc. The second want to test also not possible.. natural bleed out and it was a blighted ovum so basically nothing to test. Anyway the parents can go for karotyping which I will be opting after my TCM thingy just to cross out another possible cause in my list.
Rostrum, No offence taken for sure =) Yes they are a pest! And this coming from a MIL who herself have difficulty conceiving. You would have think she will be more sensitive! Anyway good riddance to have such in laws.. Just bear with it..
No need to say sorry
always good to share experiences.. The twins did not sent because it was not recommended as first mc. The second want to test also not possible.. natural bleed out and it was a blighted ovum so basically nothing to test. Anyway the parents can go for karotyping which I will be opting after my TCM thingy just to cross out another possible cause in my list.
Rostrum, No offence taken for sure =) Yes they are a pest! And this coming from a MIL who herself have difficulty conceiving. You would have think she will be more sensitive! Anyway good riddance to have such in laws.. Just bear with it..
babygalore09
Member
Gan,
Heeheheeeee..
Tell you k, if my hubby and I would to see shark (even if its baby shark) swimming in the sea, we will both be in awe and will keep saying "wah wah wah!!!" because we are two very impressionable and childish people despite our matured age heheheeeee..
I told my hubby that my internet sister watched that movie and the scenes you described and both of us kept nodding our head..yes, yes, yes, we know we know…maybe I will go watch if or buy the dvd to watch.
Noi,
K k, I will check my email. Most likely we organise another outing then see if you girls are free, can come..
Lyn,
You are absolutely right loh
, at different times in our lifes, we must try to go back to the basics and look for those little little things that used to make us happy, in chinese, got one idiom call fan2 pu3 gui1 zheng1. We seems to have lost ourselves in the midst of these self imposed expectations as well as society imposed expectations. I must consistently remind myself to go back to the basics and lets do it together k. I believe even those couples who have kids need to do that since one fine day, every kid will leave home and its still back to the basics for them.
Rostrum
I am targetting to go on a week's hol in May when I can take a week off, so most likely go then. U are right, Maldives really exp..I just saw that its about 4k for two for less then a week. So this two months I won't buy any big ticket item liao…
Actually going to a cruise appeals to me too as I can really "nua" during hols. When you come back, must update update k…so you are going to the straits of malacca…it’s a good time to go now since the monsoons are off liao..when you are there, remember to sunblock yourself, the face, the arms or are you the type who likes to be tan and sexy? Heheeee..
The 2WW support is always one reservation I have about NUH. I did highlighted this to prof on a few occasions but he believes that its sufficient. So the only way to play around it is to ask for more. Anyway, since u are doing it in a new place, correct, just look forward, like they say our eyes are grown at our face front for us to look forward! Heeeeee..
Gambette for starting to jog, keep jogging k. When I jog every week, I will think of you
Tigi,
Sayang sayang, I understand. The feeling is like we are jogging on square one when others have moved forward. Lyn's antidote are great ones and I share some of it in that I told mself that each one of us have a different purpose at different points in our lives. While others are moving forward with parenthood, we can also move forward in our own ways, on bettering ourselves spirtually, on learning new skills, on going to different places to experience (like holidaying as you said), on becoming better daughters, DILs, on becoming better wives, on becoming better chefs at home. So in short, my antidote is that even though for now, I cannot be a mother yet, I try to jog out of square one and try to learn as one ages..I am sure you can find good antidotes for yourself in due time. In the meantime, don't feel guilty about feeling sian when surrounding people have graduated to become parents, its normal and its better to be true to yourself than deny the feelings. Be patient and gentle and we are always here to share the common struggles we have..
And I also like your way of handling the showers you decide to go, its like killing two birds with one stone.
Ling,
Big huggzzzz for what you have gone through….yes, the 3rd one will be the charm and I am sure that day will come sooner than you anticipate, your little beanie will report and can stay and grow and thrive
Frankly, I do find the organiser of the event you described insensitive and thoughtless. At such events, even the baby or the toddler will feel quite sian, being "forced" to play with another toddler whom they have met for the first time. In future, you have our support not to attend such funny funny events. You are right, somehow, around us, there are just a lot of people who enjoy intentionally reminding us about our childless status. I recently met an ex-col who knows about my past, kept asking me "don't you want to have a baby to call your own", "your MIL not chasing meh"? And I can read it in her eyes that she will not be contended/happy until I tell her I would want to and how much I envy her and indirectly saying that I am so old liao still childless. Nevertheless, I told her my MIL is not asking me as frequently as she and that shut her up. So another antidote is to anticipate such "intentional events when hurt can be administered" and either don't go or have a reaction plan thought out beforehand"..heheeeehee..
Wah, thanks for sharing your in-depth knowledge on the fertility issues, very informative. I just know low bbt means hormones not strong, did not know about all the rest. Its good to know because everytime see tcm, the only explanation that was told was hormones not enough then I just ok I see..
I just need to be frank here, your inlaws are somehow lacking in common sense. Sound like their never grow up. Where got IL call the counterpart IL to discuss such things one. You just take the stance of pitying their lack of common sense and proper mannerism.
Liz,
Wei sister, nevermind nevermind, maybe this month the egg or soldiers are not so "sui", wait for a sui sui egg or solder to strike than even better. For your FET, consider doing it before you birthday this mid year, treat it like a birthday project for yourself. If you strike, it will be a birthday present and a milestone…if got a milestone to look forward to, easy to stay motivated..yes, like Lyn said, if you want to share, we will root for you. If you want to keep low profile, we will root for you in our hearts
And you really made me laugh when I read your suggestion to Lyn about her insensitive and over confident SIL. That is a good one Liz. And I like your analysis on Rostrum's SIL. Very brillant
Jude,
For the full month, if sian sian to go, how about you send tell her you not free that day and send her some vouchers by registered mail (I know a lot of new parents like NTUC vouchers) or buy an online gift and courier it to her. Like that, your thoughts are sent and at the same time, don't have to be there.
Rostrum and Lyn,
About your SILs' insensitivity and confidence, There is a chance when their words might come back to bite them. This is my 2 cents worth. I read a lot of gossips from My paper to destress in the morning. And there are stories about Michelle ch** and *ann Wong that I read. Before michelle got married to her spouse, she annouced to the own world that they will immediately try on their honeymoon and she wanted three kids. Naturally, being in the limelight, the media pays tons of attention on when her tummy will show. It’s a lot of undue stress and I feel sorry for that as we all know the feeling of having outsiders scrutinzing on when our tummy will show. As time goes by, in the reports now, her reaction became more subtled and the confidence is replaced by "let nature take its course" and such things cannot control answers when the media probed. For wong, its not her, its her spouse that openly told media that they must have at least 2. Wong rolled her eyes on her spouse when he said that and as expected, the media is looking at her tummy everyday such that she said she dare not even wear baggy clothes or doll up excessively or else the media will say that she is pregnant and the hormones are at work. She has also told the media that when it comes to ttc, its best to be stress free and she is taking it easy. Arggguhh…so the minute you announce to the world you are trying, you get no peace and making baby becomes a chore and is stressful. Imagine your tummy being scrutinize ALL the time. So means that your SILs' tummy will be scruitized all the time from now on. Thanks to their over confidence which I think they will regret ;P
Heeheheeeee..
I told my hubby that my internet sister watched that movie and the scenes you described and both of us kept nodding our head..yes, yes, yes, we know we know…maybe I will go watch if or buy the dvd to watch.
Noi,
K k, I will check my email. Most likely we organise another outing then see if you girls are free, can come..
Lyn,
You are absolutely right loh
Rostrum
I am targetting to go on a week's hol in May when I can take a week off, so most likely go then. U are right, Maldives really exp..I just saw that its about 4k for two for less then a week. So this two months I won't buy any big ticket item liao…
Actually going to a cruise appeals to me too as I can really "nua" during hols. When you come back, must update update k…so you are going to the straits of malacca…it’s a good time to go now since the monsoons are off liao..when you are there, remember to sunblock yourself, the face, the arms or are you the type who likes to be tan and sexy? Heheeee..
The 2WW support is always one reservation I have about NUH. I did highlighted this to prof on a few occasions but he believes that its sufficient. So the only way to play around it is to ask for more. Anyway, since u are doing it in a new place, correct, just look forward, like they say our eyes are grown at our face front for us to look forward! Heeeeee..
Gambette for starting to jog, keep jogging k. When I jog every week, I will think of you
Tigi,
Sayang sayang, I understand. The feeling is like we are jogging on square one when others have moved forward. Lyn's antidote are great ones and I share some of it in that I told mself that each one of us have a different purpose at different points in our lives. While others are moving forward with parenthood, we can also move forward in our own ways, on bettering ourselves spirtually, on learning new skills, on going to different places to experience (like holidaying as you said), on becoming better daughters, DILs, on becoming better wives, on becoming better chefs at home. So in short, my antidote is that even though for now, I cannot be a mother yet, I try to jog out of square one and try to learn as one ages..I am sure you can find good antidotes for yourself in due time. In the meantime, don't feel guilty about feeling sian when surrounding people have graduated to become parents, its normal and its better to be true to yourself than deny the feelings. Be patient and gentle and we are always here to share the common struggles we have..
And I also like your way of handling the showers you decide to go, its like killing two birds with one stone.
Ling,
Big huggzzzz for what you have gone through….yes, the 3rd one will be the charm and I am sure that day will come sooner than you anticipate, your little beanie will report and can stay and grow and thrive
Frankly, I do find the organiser of the event you described insensitive and thoughtless. At such events, even the baby or the toddler will feel quite sian, being "forced" to play with another toddler whom they have met for the first time. In future, you have our support not to attend such funny funny events. You are right, somehow, around us, there are just a lot of people who enjoy intentionally reminding us about our childless status. I recently met an ex-col who knows about my past, kept asking me "don't you want to have a baby to call your own", "your MIL not chasing meh"? And I can read it in her eyes that she will not be contended/happy until I tell her I would want to and how much I envy her and indirectly saying that I am so old liao still childless. Nevertheless, I told her my MIL is not asking me as frequently as she and that shut her up. So another antidote is to anticipate such "intentional events when hurt can be administered" and either don't go or have a reaction plan thought out beforehand"..heheeeehee..
Wah, thanks for sharing your in-depth knowledge on the fertility issues, very informative. I just know low bbt means hormones not strong, did not know about all the rest. Its good to know because everytime see tcm, the only explanation that was told was hormones not enough then I just ok I see..
I just need to be frank here, your inlaws are somehow lacking in common sense. Sound like their never grow up. Where got IL call the counterpart IL to discuss such things one. You just take the stance of pitying their lack of common sense and proper mannerism.
Liz,
Wei sister, nevermind nevermind, maybe this month the egg or soldiers are not so "sui", wait for a sui sui egg or solder to strike than even better. For your FET, consider doing it before you birthday this mid year, treat it like a birthday project for yourself. If you strike, it will be a birthday present and a milestone…if got a milestone to look forward to, easy to stay motivated..yes, like Lyn said, if you want to share, we will root for you. If you want to keep low profile, we will root for you in our hearts
And you really made me laugh when I read your suggestion to Lyn about her insensitive and over confident SIL. That is a good one Liz. And I like your analysis on Rostrum's SIL. Very brillant
Jude,
For the full month, if sian sian to go, how about you send tell her you not free that day and send her some vouchers by registered mail (I know a lot of new parents like NTUC vouchers) or buy an online gift and courier it to her. Like that, your thoughts are sent and at the same time, don't have to be there.
Rostrum and Lyn,
About your SILs' insensitivity and confidence, There is a chance when their words might come back to bite them. This is my 2 cents worth. I read a lot of gossips from My paper to destress in the morning. And there are stories about Michelle ch** and *ann Wong that I read. Before michelle got married to her spouse, she annouced to the own world that they will immediately try on their honeymoon and she wanted three kids. Naturally, being in the limelight, the media pays tons of attention on when her tummy will show. It’s a lot of undue stress and I feel sorry for that as we all know the feeling of having outsiders scrutinzing on when our tummy will show. As time goes by, in the reports now, her reaction became more subtled and the confidence is replaced by "let nature take its course" and such things cannot control answers when the media probed. For wong, its not her, its her spouse that openly told media that they must have at least 2. Wong rolled her eyes on her spouse when he said that and as expected, the media is looking at her tummy everyday such that she said she dare not even wear baggy clothes or doll up excessively or else the media will say that she is pregnant and the hormones are at work. She has also told the media that when it comes to ttc, its best to be stress free and she is taking it easy. Arggguhh…so the minute you announce to the world you are trying, you get no peace and making baby becomes a chore and is stressful. Imagine your tummy being scrutinize ALL the time. So means that your SILs' tummy will be scruitized all the time from now on. Thanks to their over confidence which I think they will regret ;P
lyn, my sil (hubby younger sis) already one kid n now pregnant.... got married later than me somemore.... my face already goes in the longkang (drain) ....
dun bother about what relatives say... for them, the size of our tummy is just a 5 minute gossip... we will be super unkind to ourselves if we let ourselves be affected or stressed up for days, weeks or months by their words ...ya very easy said than done... personal opinion, woman seems programmed automatically to take those words to heart sometimes ...... i understand cos i have encounter hurtful comments from relatives too ...
dun bother about what relatives say... for them, the size of our tummy is just a 5 minute gossip... we will be super unkind to ourselves if we let ourselves be affected or stressed up for days, weeks or months by their words ...ya very easy said than done... personal opinion, woman seems programmed automatically to take those words to heart sometimes ...... i understand cos i have encounter hurtful comments from relatives too ...
Tigi,
Actually u dun feel stressed also jus bcos yr dh is the oni son..I feel tt hving children is btw a husband and wife...wat is most impt is both of u feels comfortable...
Tink of hving a child oni when u r ready...not obligation...cos we are the ones whom commit, not our elders.
Actually u dun feel stressed also jus bcos yr dh is the oni son..I feel tt hving children is btw a husband and wife...wat is most impt is both of u feels comfortable...
Tink of hving a child oni when u r ready...not obligation...cos we are the ones whom commit, not our elders.