Rostrum
Hugggzzzz and huggzz again. Silly girl! Like Lyn said, do you know how courageous you are already for going thru that program. Now it’s the time to rest and be proud of yourself time (at least I am extremely proud of you) and not to think of the next one if you are not ready (no one will truly be soon after the program). Great that you have cried. Cry it out and get it out of your system. After you pamper yourself for one month, two months, then you slowly think of your next step. No one will know what will happen then. Trust me and I really want to be sincere and frank to you and the sisters here: while I know I am positive, I have my bad days too, such as when a kaypoh woman (described below) come and poke at old wounds. I cried too after my failed ivf and important dates. And I really allow the tears to flow because tears that don't flow won't go away, they will go somewhere else into the body and wreak havoc in future. And Rostrum dear, I am also a "chicken who cannot lay eggs". I know how it feels to feel like that. So give yourself room to indulge in some "negativity" (its normal at this juncture) like Gan said and I am sure its a matter of time before you can be happy again. For the visit to your ah-mah, you have no two options, its either you don't go (difficult as its Ah-ma right) or you go with the mentality "you all can think I cannot lay eggs but I know how much I have tried and I am proud of myself". Use some method that will boost your ego and don't feel beaten k.
Lyn,
Wei sister, why do you think you are sensitive, I never thought you have made any insensitive remarks, on the contrary, you, liz and meow have been sensitive and supportive during my program and I really appreciate that you know or not
If in future got any irritating people come and ask you why are still no kids, tell them you are a very big baby at heart yourself and that is a prefect answer to their kapohness. For me, you are my sincere friend, so you chosen to see my positive hpt before as something positive and hopeful. But for some, they use it as a tool against me. I once told a very good friend about it one of mcs (luckily I did not tell her the 2nd one) and hinted to her not to spread but she went to broadcast it, the worst thing is she went to broadcast it to a kapoh woman who had four kids (two pairs of twins) herself and very proud of it and likes to put down in very demeaning ways people who either not married or married without kids. Since then, that woman has been using those mcs to belittle me everytime she sees me, telling me how tired I am supposed to be looking (although I feel fresh and I think I look energized that day)..blah blah blah. So she knew by default that I belong to those camp who wants to have baby but cannot have as she knows about that mc (I wish she didn't know). And she likes to meet me because it probably make her ego very big. I just don't know why she can be so mean. So I try to avoid meeting her but everytime got group meeting, she will come and make all effort to make me feel as beaten as possible. So now I just tell her I not trying. I won't tell her about the ivf. Since I am already a 2nd class citizen to her, if she knows I do ivf, I will become the topic of the year.
Lyn, I am sure there is great hope that one day, I will spot you with a beautiful pram pushing a beautiful baby inside. Lets all pray for that to happen, for you, for me and for our fellow sisters here.
Tigi,
Yes, I can imagine how your festive mood will vanished and transformed into super "sianness" and the feeling of wanting to disappear from FIL straight away. Same as you, sometimes, I feel like telling them, "use your common sense and stop making us feel like shit". Good idea, stick to your hb and hopefully he can be the powerful armour..
As I told Rostrum, I will also be frustrated and have down days, so lets both cut ourselves some slack and allow ourselves to be grumpy once in a while ;p
Gan,
You must be a great cook, your description of Japanese curry makes me want to drool during lunch hour like this.
Liz,
No problem about MIA as I expect my bad day to come very soon when I meet that 4 kid kayoh woman soon who is coming for a group meeting. She will make me feel beaten left right center again. When that happens, pandon me if I come here and bitch about her...heheeee..Meanwhile, if I encounter remarks like your friend's wife's again, I will sure form a bubble in my mind "please stop giving me unsolicited advice, I feel so sian, mama save me".
