Child Adoption

hi Andrea
Thanks! Went through Fei Yue and also did asked my assessor on the difference between these 2 options. I have approached Alice from Lotus (thanks to the comments from this thread) and Alice has been very helpful and patient in answering all my questions.
We were approached by the Agency which I mentioned in my earlier post on a local baby who will be born in Dec 10 but someone beat me to it. Was quite disappointed but somehow my husband and I knew that God has already one planned for us.
 


Hi people

Got some good news on my end atlast
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. Touch has started to process my HSR application (b'cos my friends have recived the reference letter request from touch
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). Still the Letter of Assurance is still u/c
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. Meanwhile, we're out of the country for some important works. We haven't heard anything from our embassy yet..so assume its still u/c.

@die & @Plee
We're from India & we're planning to changing to have a different colour of NRIC card
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@googlebaby
Thanks for the word of caution. I do get some signal that u have been affected by some agency! Am I right? or am I watching too many tv serials
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c u folks
 
Hi lovelyday

I have liaised with kid & tot agency before about local adoptions. Unfortunately, I had been disappointed twice this year as the mums of 2 kids whose birth I had been waiting for, changed their minds either right b4 or after birth, so that's the risk. But having undergone so many disappintments at my infertility treatments, this is nothing to me and I have faith that God has the right bb for me. It will be worth the wait.
 
Mrs Ha
That's good! Hope you will receive the letter of assurance soon.

Mummyportia
So sorry to hear about that. Ronnie from Kid & Tot told me that sometimes that happens.. are you still waiting for a local baby?
 
hi lyn, the main difference between adopting locally and overseas is the former doesn't require you to do the Home Study Report (HSR). Having said that, doing the HSR widens your options to adopt from either esp since local babies are difficult to come by unfortunately due to the high abortion rates. I would, and I'm sure others in this forum would agree, encourage you to approach the better established agencies/bodies as they would handle the entire process professionally and with great sensitivity.

Mummyportia & lovelyday; you're both right to handle the situations well... I often see that it is rather similar to being pregnant = miscarriages (when birthmum changes her mind before delivery) and stillbirths (when birthmum changes her mind after delivery) do happen. You are most right to say that God is preparing the right baby for you and it will definitely be worth the wait : ) Your faith will definitely not disappoint you, gals!

mrs ha: all the best! i'm sure you'll be matched with the right baby very soon!
 
hi everyone, do hope all is well with yourselves and loved ones
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mommyportia, i had once read that God's timing is perfect even when we don't understand his ways .. your faith will prevail
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mrs ha, congrats k .. another milestone you and hubby have passed on your way to bb
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die, i know this is rather belated .. but congrats on your promo!! .. i did my first interview not too long back so PM me if you need any inputs closer to date k ..

lovelyday, for local adoption have you tried speaking to project cherub? i actually called them few weeks back and they mentioned that the number of couples they have waiting is quite long .. but no harm just finding out more .. the staff there are pretty nice and patient
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i am in tears very very lost , very afraid. but don know who to share my problems with....

adoption is suppose to be a happy journey
 
@invictus, beautiful video thanks for sharing :D
@mummyportia, do hang there I am sure when a baby is fated to be yours the baby will be yr child forever, don't lose heart, don't give up ;) will keep u in our prayers.
 
thank u mummies
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@googlebaby
Please don't be afraid. You can always PM me. I'm there to listen to ur problems. That's the least I can do to help
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@vickysmommy
your writing with matching examples are simply wonderful. I seriously like it
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catch ya later
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Went for my first HSR interview yesterday and thank god, we made our way thr. We even went to TOUCH for the talk. The speaker was good and a adoptive parent even shared her experience with us! The stories were very touching.

The accessor will be coming to our home next tue and hope everything will be fine!

For those who wanted to attend the talk provided by TOUCH, the next available date is in Jan 11.
 
Hi Catherine, cool TOUCH started the process with you now ! No need to wait for 6 months (Hurray !) What come next will be very fast, before you know your child will be with you ! Hope all is well !
All the Best
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My HSR assessor told me now all the HSR accredited Agency have a waiting time of 6 months. But I am sure they do see the demand in this area have increase and hopefully will do something about it !
 
Hi all newcomers welcome ;)
Glad to have more friends on this journey.

Mrs Chou, u r rite, now they say waiting time is abt 6 mths but they do start earlier than that. I submitted my hsr on 20th Aug and my 1st interview is 24th November so if all goes well shld get approval by end of Dec. From submission to final approval takes abt 4+ mths not too bad la.

I have gone to the maid agency to confirm a maid. Comin in a mth time. Kiasu hor..also bought some more bb things lately.. like thermal bag, discovery playmat..so fun
 
@catherine & @die

Congrats
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sounds very exciting! i'm very happy for you both
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I'm able to imagine how happy both of you would be feeling & having a countdown for the HSR report.

@catherine
What kind of Q were u grilled up by Touch?How long did the interview go on? any Q can share??

C ya folks
 
tks mrs ha,

Guess u would understand since u r at the same chapter of the adoption journey. Im sure u r pretty excited too! ;) Hope u get ur interview date soon.
 
Hi andrea thks for the info. So m i right to say that by doing the HSR we can actually adopt foreign babies too?

Hi kay la,very happy for u and ur hubby. U r a proud mummy now.. enjoy ur bonding with ur baby.

Hi die, i believed u will hv a baby in ur arms soon..

Hi catherine, do we need to register or something if we r keen to go for the talk on jan 11?

Hi dream, hows ur boy? He must be quite big already? Long time hvnt seen u around.
 
Hi Mrs Ha, the interview was conducted by SBL vision and the whole session was abt 5 hrs. The q include:

the kind of childhood u had
the kind of marriage which ur parents had n how it will affect you
the good n bad side of the upbringing method
how ur religon beliefs affect ur upbringing of the child

The toughest q for me is that how my past failed pregnancies affected both of us n how I would do if this was to happen to me again.

Fyi, I was one who will never cry no matter how upset i feel. But the moment the toughest q was posed, I burst into tears and my hubby was so shocked. However, I am grateful to the accessor who was very patient with me at that moment.
 
Hi LYn, you may want to call TOUCH n find our from them the actual date. From there, you can register thr the phone. All you need to provide them u n ur hubby's name.

Alternatively, you may want to contact FEI YUE which also organise such talk. But the talk is conducted in Chinese.
 
I'm having the house visit on 26 Oct. Can anyone share a tip of so..as what are the areas the accessor will be looking into? As my mum will be the care taker, what the q will be posed?
 
Thanks catherine for sharing..
wow, such emotional questions n 5 hrs!! its a melt-down..more like interogation!! i ask my huby to be prepared..whew! hope i dont cry also
 
Hi Catherine, I think the social worker must be so good. Maybe she/he was such counseling figure that you felt comforting in sharing your stories. I too teared when i was being interviewed. 5 hours of interviewing because they have to write a big report.

house visit is for the accessor to do some sanity check. so, they won't be asking anything different. they will probably ask who will be the care giver and they are more comforted if the care giver is a family member than a domestic helper.
 
Hi Lyn, thanks for ya kind note.
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Hi all, phew, finally hav a break fr all e hustle n bustle to write st. Sorry i've been Mia for so long. I ve been readin bet feeds n work as you guys are so much a part o my adoption journey but just no energy n too emotional to write. Here's wat has been buzzin in my life e last 7 wks.

I teach thus was fortunate tat I was on a week sep break when my daughter came. I had tat 6 crucial days to adjust with fam n frens droppin in to offer help n advice. When Sch started, it was just work n feeds n tired n work n feeds n tired. I teach in e morning n tried to cramp all that I've to complete for the next 2 mths, incl prep my pupils for exam, into tat 5 wks as I took my adoption leave from wk 6 onwards. (yap, now in my 2nd wk o leave)

In e aft, I ll rush to my mum s place to bring dau home to relieve my mum o e care of dau n my ten mth old nephew which is very tirin as my nep is so very active n required so much of her. I remember e day Wen my mum casually mentioned tat she was in a fix Wen both cried for milk. Felt so bad that due to my wan for a child, I burdened her.

I had to adjust to not being able to complete my work in one seatin Wen I used to. I had a pic o me holdin dau to comfort her n tryin to mark at the same time. Lookin bak now, it was amusin. But at tat time, it was really tirin.

Did I regret takin my dau at such short notice n having to cope with all e changes n physical challenges in all facets o my life? NO! Lookin at my dau's sleeping now, I'll do it all over again. I'm just constantly amazed tat e childless couple who always yearns for a child is now so blessed with an angel in such a seemingly short time.

Thus to all potential adoptive parents - God will provide- yap, even if you hav only 1.5 day to prep for e arrival of ya child, like us.

God bless ya all!
 
Hi catherine, hope everything is gtg to be smooth for u. Since u r already a strong person but u still cry during the interview, i believed they must have a asked a question that brought back some bad memories.. i m sorry to hear that. Hugz..... lets forgive abt the past and now its a new chapter in life.. jiayou!
 
@catherine

U r such a brave person
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Had it been me in that room, sure I would have given up the interview...Why do they grill for 5 hrs
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?

I think they should limit the interview time to 1 hour of asking Qs
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b'cos, as couples we would have discussed about each others +/- & know each other.. This will help them clear the waiting time of 4-6 mnths for the couples who badly need a baby!

Seriously, I'm thinking...did our parents had so much knowledge as how they parented us? What our parents did to us is what we're gonna do to our kids..w only addl feature we can get maid, kids get psp
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c u
 
hi all, hv been tending to sick kids and self these past 2 weeks... one of those things. glad to say all are well now and life is back to normal.

@lyn: the HSR is actually for foreign adoptions. you technically don't need a HSR if you are adopting locally. however, if you get it done, you do put yourselves on the list for placements, either locally or foreign.

those of you waiting for your interviews, pls don't stress about it. you will realise that the interview basically goes through the questions you have completed in the form so if you are more detailed in your answers, the interviewer will be clarifying it more than asking you questions. they will have to drill further if your written answers are not clear enough for them so try to be more detailed in your forms. the questions will not stray far from what is already listed, so : ) no 10 year series to read up on, haha! Just be yourselves and yes, there may be questions that would tug at your heartstrings or force you to bring up the past which might not be easy. I struggled trying to retrace the challenges whilst trying to conceive and was tearing at those parts.

i think the waiting time for the interviews are tough, huh? well, just take it one day at a time, ok? plan a holiday cos when baby comes, you won't have the luxury to do that anymore for a long time. take up a short course... basically, just go all out to pamper yourselves cos, in a really nice way, life will never be the same again.
 
I agree that the questions asked are a little OTT sometimes, like how do we plan to discipline our adopted child.... well, I think ALL parents should go through these bunch of questions, not just adoptive parents! : ) But well, I see it this way: we are not only becoming parents, we are taking on the responsibility from someone else and the authorities in between are just doing their best to ensure that it is in the best interest of the child.
 
Hi everyone,

I have some good news to share - I may be a mummy next week! Fingers crossed that everything goes well
 
Percy,
Congrats. Thanks for sharing the great news. Crossing fingers everything will go smoothly.

Lyn
Haven't posted here for a while but reading the thread. Excited to read about the progress of each of the ladies here. It is amazing how adoption can change our lives. My boy is already 14 months and he started to walk! So, been busy running after him.

Die
Excited about your progress. U must be counting the days to the office interview. Seems everything is getting ready for the little prince/princess!
 
Hi Andrea, agreed wif wat u had said. I think all parents be it bio or adoptive shld take on the questions coz hving a child is indeed= responsibiilties.

Hi percy, wow so fast? U must be very excited, hope everything goes on smoothly! U r adopting locally?

Hi dream, wow that's fast! He is already 14mths!
 
dream - thanks. a couple more days to go.. but I can hardly wait.

lyn - i'm excited and nervous at the same time. still in shock, as we're not expecting it to happen so fast. we're not prepared at all, not read any baby books nor got any baby stuff. but all in a good way. exciting times ahead!
 
Hi Gorgeous Ladies,
wow so many good news and updates from many of you ! Cool !

Agreed w Andrea on the questions asked during the HSR - Home visit, do be prepared the same set of questions may be asked again by MCYS during their home visit when your baby is with you. I got the similar set of questions & MCYS visit was about 5 hrs for me too.

To all who are awaiting for the HSR interviews, do get prepared, it can be tough, I rem asking myself when I was pregnant the last time, no one come questions me about my competency (i.e Financial, mental, physical aspect) to be a mum but for this journey I am being "grilled" on all these aspect, it was emotional for me. But again as what Andrea mentioned it is necessary to protect the child, especially when there are indeed some cases of kids having to suffer rejection after adoption process (like the USA case last year when a boy was being send back to Mexico alone by his adoptive parents). With that on mind I decided to accept this is part and parcel of this "pregnancy" for me.

@Percy, Excitement is filling the air ! Dont worry too much... both your love for your baby will be the best preparation for parenthood.

@ka y la, Enjoy your leave w Kayla !
 
Hi everyone! I have finished my entire process. Am now waiting for my child's bc. When was the last time there was a gathering? I feel it will be good for like minded people to have a gathering.
Shall we have a gathering soon?
 
Congrats Percy and rameena4ever!

My home visit just ended and we were told by Fei Yue to start our baby search. so thrilled! I do agree that Home Visit is rather challenging. So many questions...
 
catherine - it's Alice from Lotus

lovelyday - thanks. it'll happen faster than you think!

mrs chou - thanks. really excited...
 
Lovely - congrats. I was told that I need to wait for my report before the baby search...which is 5 weeks later.

I agreed with Lovely that the home visit is very challenging. During the visit, the accessor does express her concern on the how my mum will be able to cope with 2 babies at the same time.

As my mum will be my child's care-taker n happens that she will be looking after my sis's newborn, the accessor suggested to me that I might consider adopting my baby after my sis's baby is abt a yr old.
 
Percy, I hv approached alice from lotus and am wondering if I should call 1-2 more agencies to speed up, so anxious to be mummy.

Catherine, I see. However the decision still lies on your hubby an you ya? That is just her recommendation?
 
Lovely - that's her recommendation. But my hubby would prefer my mum to take care of the child in the daytime andme @ night. I don't really mind that arrangemen.

However, my main concern is I may need to get up at night for feeding and this might resulted in both of us lacking of sleep. Our jobs requires great concentration as 1 wrong judgement might resulted in the loss of life (regardless whether it is own or others).
 
Lovely day,
Congrats! It is an exciting time and if you are as impatient as I was, each day may seem like an eternity until you hold your baby.

Catherine,
Hope it would just be a recommendation and that you can proceed right away. Would you be able to take adoption leave? Some kids can sleep thru the night pretty quickly (although mine does not!). Your job sounds very stressful. Would you consider hiring a helper or confinement lady? She could help your mum during the days and at nights when you are too tired.
 
catherine: you might wanna share a helper with your sis to help you mom cos it is very tiring to look after a baby, let alone 2 : ) and the helper can do the night feeds so you can rest although feeding, bathing, comforting are all bonding moments for you & your baby. anyway, you will find the best way forward, i'm sure

die2: a belated congratulations on your promotion! : )

lovelyday: all the best to your search!

a couple of years ago, a Dutch diplomat and his wife were grilled publicly after they 'returned' their adopted Korean daughter to an orphanage in Hong Kong claiming that she has not adopted their culture, cuisine and language after being with them for 7 years. They had biological kids after they adopted their daughter and she was always looked after by nannies. Subsequently, they lost their diplomat jobs after this ugly incident...
 
Andrea, it's very sad to hear abt ugly incident like this! Poor child! I guess they r doing coz they managed to hv biological child after the adoption.
 
Lyn, great!! Lets get a list rolling here then we can decide on a date venue and time.

List of people interested in a gathering
1. rameena4ever
2. LYn
 

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