Child Adoption
- Thread starter vmom
- Start date
angel_mummy
New Member
@die, I think I notice You and Hubby cos of your hubby hair and you sit just in front of us I think
@iwantitvmuch, So true, their stories touch my hearts too, esp when I am carrying my girl in my arms while listening to them, it is v emotional. I oso think I know who u r now
But just incase I blur blur n short memory, do come up to talk to me when we met in the next workshops or some get together ok
I don't know if anyone here also w FeiYue C.A.P, I missed tis morning session cos hubby need to work and my BB girl start running a fever yesterday after the Jab. But thank God she is now better
@iwantitvmuch, So true, their stories touch my hearts too, esp when I am carrying my girl in my arms while listening to them, it is v emotional. I oso think I know who u r now
But just incase I blur blur n short memory, do come up to talk to me when we met in the next workshops or some get together ok
I don't know if anyone here also w FeiYue C.A.P, I missed tis morning session cos hubby need to work and my BB girl start running a fever yesterday after the Jab. But thank God she is now better
Ppl,
I was told that the adoption agencies, do take extra $$, other than what they quote as fees during their consultation with us.
This incident had happened to one of my friends' friend who had adopted baby from our neighbour:
The story is....as per the adoption agency's contact person, the baby's biological parents wanted to have a relaxed stress free pregnency & so they demanded about $10k towards the purchase of home theatre kind of stuffs for them & the prospective adoptive parents who are locals had to give in to those demands....
the story sounds kind of weired as baby's both biological & adoptive parents dont meet...
has anyone come across such stuffs...
I was told that the adoption agencies, do take extra $$, other than what they quote as fees during their consultation with us.
This incident had happened to one of my friends' friend who had adopted baby from our neighbour:
The story is....as per the adoption agency's contact person, the baby's biological parents wanted to have a relaxed stress free pregnency & so they demanded about $10k towards the purchase of home theatre kind of stuffs for them & the prospective adoptive parents who are locals had to give in to those demands....
the story sounds kind of weired as baby's both biological & adoptive parents dont meet...
has anyone come across such stuffs...
iwantitvmuch
Member
die, you should have said hi to me too.
Glad you find the workshop enriching.
mrs_ha, I'm such there are alot of stories. But better take it as a pitch of salt until you experience first hand.
You mentioned earlier that you want to adopt ASAP(after your 2nd attempt at IVF. Sorry to hear abt the failed IVF
but hope you have given time for yourself to recover.
Think about why you don't want to try anymore , would you try again after you adopt, etc. These questions will come up during the interview later on too. So, it is good to ponder over them. Don't worry about the agencies yet. As long as you go to reputable agencies like us, you should be fine. You would know the fees involved. The fees have to be declared to MCYS too. Hence, don't have to be worry that you are quoted beyond what is necessary.
Glad you find the workshop enriching.
mrs_ha, I'm such there are alot of stories. But better take it as a pitch of salt until you experience first hand.
You mentioned earlier that you want to adopt ASAP(after your 2nd attempt at IVF. Sorry to hear abt the failed IVF
Think about why you don't want to try anymore , would you try again after you adopt, etc. These questions will come up during the interview later on too. So, it is good to ponder over them. Don't worry about the agencies yet. As long as you go to reputable agencies like us, you should be fine. You would know the fees involved. The fees have to be declared to MCYS too. Hence, don't have to be worry that you are quoted beyond what is necessary.
Thanks iwantitvmuch. I'm recovering for the last 1month. We've decided not to go for another round of ivf, as things don't work the way its supposed to be. Thanks for sharing about the questions I must be prepared to answer during the interview. Since most of u have chosen lotus Adoption agency, I'm also thinking of approaching her.
Thanks ppl
Thanks ppl
Hi
It is nice to see many posts and I am excited to read all your progress. The journey may be stressful but definitely worth it! Just wanted to give you some words of encouragement.
Andrea
I have not bought your book yet. Wondering whether I can buy directly from you. Or please let me know where I can buy your book. Thanks
It is nice to see many posts and I am excited to read all your progress. The journey may be stressful but definitely worth it! Just wanted to give you some words of encouragement.
Andrea
I have not bought your book yet. Wondering whether I can buy directly from you. Or please let me know where I can buy your book. Thanks
vickysmommy
Member
@die
I was wondering if it was you at the talk! Gr8 to see u!
@iwantitmuch: I'll pm you
@dream: thanks for yr enquiry, my books are sold in Bookaburra (Forum), Tango Mango (Tanglin Mall), Touch & Fei Yue. If u r not in S'pore, pm me. Thank you again.
I agree with Mrs Chou that attending workshops r enriching cos as adoptive parents, we go through the same isues as bio parents and disclosure is one of the main diff. Parenting talks are good too. I learnt a lot from last week's Touch talk too n it's true tt our kids are all diff, some more intense than others. Hearing how other families handle situations hv helped me loads.
'Expectant Parents': one ignorant qn you'll get is "How much did you pay?". How I'd answer is,"The same amounts you did when you had yours. " or "Well, we paid for hospitalisation n legal fees." and move on to other topics. If you get uncomfortable qns, just move on n don't let the other party dwell on it. Sometimes they r interested for themselves too.
@iwantitmuch, dream, mrs Chou, janella, yuli: how wd u answer?
Another book I'd reco is "A Mother For Choco" about a baby bird who was asking some animals he come across if she sadhus mommy until he found Mrs Bear. V heartwarming.
@iwantitmuch: I'll pm you
@dream: thanks for yr enquiry, my books are sold in Bookaburra (Forum), Tango Mango (Tanglin Mall), Touch & Fei Yue. If u r not in S'pore, pm me. Thank you again.
I agree with Mrs Chou that attending workshops r enriching cos as adoptive parents, we go through the same isues as bio parents and disclosure is one of the main diff. Parenting talks are good too. I learnt a lot from last week's Touch talk too n it's true tt our kids are all diff, some more intense than others. Hearing how other families handle situations hv helped me loads.
'Expectant Parents': one ignorant qn you'll get is "How much did you pay?". How I'd answer is,"The same amounts you did when you had yours. " or "Well, we paid for hospitalisation n legal fees." and move on to other topics. If you get uncomfortable qns, just move on n don't let the other party dwell on it. Sometimes they r interested for themselves too.
@iwantitmuch, dream, mrs Chou, janella, yuli: how wd u answer?
Another book I'd reco is "A Mother For Choco" about a baby bird who was asking some animals he come across if she sadhus mommy until he found Mrs Bear. V heartwarming.
vickysmommy
Member
I meant to say: mummies n daddies here, how wd u handle qns abt how much we 'paid' for our kids?
mummyportia
New Member
Andrea, I'd say 'oh, he's priceless!' which is what my hubby n I had previously decided to respond if we should be asked, and we did, twice.
That's a nice answer! Will use it from now on. But hopefully, don't have to answer such silly questions anymore as my boy is turning one and I guess whoever wanted to ask have already asked the question!
Andrea
Yep, I am in Singapore. Will try to look for it. I have not joined tafnet yet but thinking of it.
Andrea
Yep, I am in Singapore. Will try to look for it. I have not joined tafnet yet but thinking of it.
Die, she's the pretty tall one 
Andrea, I got yr book fr Touch! But hvnt started on it ;( glad 2 hv y join the group!
I used the She's priceless line once with an aunt n she responded with, "seriously, how much did u hv 2 pay?!" hahaha but that's cos my cousin has also been ttc -ing 4 long time so I Noe it was a genuine qn
Andrea, I got yr book fr Touch! But hvnt started on it ;( glad 2 hv y join the group!
I used the She's priceless line once with an aunt n she responded with, "seriously, how much did u hv 2 pay?!" hahaha but that's cos my cousin has also been ttc -ing 4 long time so I Noe it was a genuine qn
catherine250776
Member
Hi all,
I've decided to go for adoption after 3 failed pregnancy. I take 3 years to recover from the loss and 1 year to persuade my hubby into accepting the idea of adoption.
I'll be submitting the application for HSR next week. May I know what adoption agencies are reliable? I was told that Lotus Adoption is good.
I've decided to go for adoption after 3 failed pregnancy. I take 3 years to recover from the loss and 1 year to persuade my hubby into accepting the idea of adoption.
I'll be submitting the application for HSR next week. May I know what adoption agencies are reliable? I was told that Lotus Adoption is good.
Hi Catherine
Welcome to this group.And so so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how you feel as I too had 3 failed pregnancies but I have adopted a baby girl who has more than made up for my loss and has brought so much of joy.
Most of the ladies here used Lotus Adoption. You'll find the agent Alice very friendly and efficient but I obtained my baby through Amman Adoption as they were a bit faster. The other agency I've heard good reviews is Joyful Adoption.Take your time and speak to the agents and see whom you are comfortable with.
Hi Andrea
I used to beat about the bush when confronted with nosy questions but now I say that she is priceless or I would sarcastically ask them to contact the adoption agency themselves.
Welcome to this group.And so so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how you feel as I too had 3 failed pregnancies but I have adopted a baby girl who has more than made up for my loss and has brought so much of joy.
Most of the ladies here used Lotus Adoption. You'll find the agent Alice very friendly and efficient but I obtained my baby through Amman Adoption as they were a bit faster. The other agency I've heard good reviews is Joyful Adoption.Take your time and speak to the agents and see whom you are comfortable with.
Hi Andrea
I used to beat about the bush when confronted with nosy questions but now I say that she is priceless or I would sarcastically ask them to contact the adoption agency themselves.
Dear Catherine,
Sorry about your loss and I am glad you have moved on. Once you hold baby in your arms, you will wonder why you waited so long
regarding adoption agency, just call them and meet with them and see which one you feel comfortable with. My advice would be to only call them once u r close to have your Hsr approved. I have used lotus too!
Sorry about your loss and I am glad you have moved on. Once you hold baby in your arms, you will wonder why you waited so long
iwantitvmuch
Member
yuli, haha,Thanks for your compliments.
Die,
I was wearing a brown long sleeve top and brown pants.
Hi Catherine,
Sorry for the failed pregnancy. Ouch! 3!! I think I would have cried my eyes out. All the best to your adoption journey. Let us know when you have any questions.
Like Dream said, contact the agency ONLY WHEN you are close to have your HSR approved. This is to avoid the situation whereby you identified the baby and worrying about getting the HSR approval.
haha, Janella, you are funny. I will also ask the rest to contact the adoption agency themselves. But usually, I will say that there's a legal fees. It sound very legal.
Die,
I was wearing a brown long sleeve top and brown pants.
Hi Catherine,
Sorry for the failed pregnancy. Ouch! 3!! I think I would have cried my eyes out. All the best to your adoption journey. Let us know when you have any questions.
Like Dream said, contact the agency ONLY WHEN you are close to have your HSR approved. This is to avoid the situation whereby you identified the baby and worrying about getting the HSR approval.
haha, Janella, you are funny. I will also ask the rest to contact the adoption agency themselves. But usually, I will say that there's a legal fees. It sound very legal.
Hi all
Hey just downloaded the HSR doc from touch. But the adoption agency suggested SBL (tampines branch) as it was near my place...The documents required in both the family services centres seems to be the same..except
1. Gynae report(required in SBL)- other than the normal medical report (required by both)
Q: did any of you submitt the gynae report? (this is not mentioned by touch)
2. Insurance policy for us -
Q: Are the HSR interviewers are giving importance to these? what kind of insurance policy are we expected to take?(this is not mentioned by touch)
Thanks ppl for the help...
Hey just downloaded the HSR doc from touch. But the adoption agency suggested SBL (tampines branch) as it was near my place...The documents required in both the family services centres seems to be the same..except
1. Gynae report(required in SBL)- other than the normal medical report (required by both)
Q: did any of you submitt the gynae report? (this is not mentioned by touch)
2. Insurance policy for us -
Q: Are the HSR interviewers are giving importance to these? what kind of insurance policy are we expected to take?(this is not mentioned by touch)
Thanks ppl for the help...
Hiya,
Im ready to submit my HSR this week! Will pop down or send hubby down with the documents. Big Smiles !!!
Mrs ha,
Im doin with SBL Vision. I obtain the gynae report fr kk and also the medical reports fr the GP. If u were fr KK, jus tell them that u need the doctor's letter to apply for adoption they know wat to do. I paid 80 dollars and kk took abt 3 wks to send me the report.
Insurance policies include personal savings and life policies, DPS, hospitalization cover
Im ready to submit my HSR this week! Will pop down or send hubby down with the documents. Big Smiles !!!
Mrs ha,
Im doin with SBL Vision. I obtain the gynae report fr kk and also the medical reports fr the GP. If u were fr KK, jus tell them that u need the doctor's letter to apply for adoption they know wat to do. I paid 80 dollars and kk took abt 3 wks to send me the report.
Insurance policies include personal savings and life policies, DPS, hospitalization cover
iwantitvmuch
Member
Mrs Ha, Gynae report, you can ask the clinic to photo copy a set of documents for you. It is just the records of your fertility treatments or any conditions which prevented you or your hubby from conceiving. Medical report is the medical checkup which you have to do for this HSR. Did they enclose a form which states what tests(sugar level, cholesterol level, etc) you have to take?
I didn't submit gynae report to TOuch but during the interview with MCYS(which happens after baby arrived), they asked for it.
2. Insurance policy. FOr Touch, the form asked for our coverage but didn't ask to have a copy of the policies.
Quick quick, get them done. I used to have a check list and at each of them done during lunch time and quickly submit. Don't let the momentum slow down or else, it is very tiresome.
Die, congrats to completing the forms!! Yoohoo!
I didn't submit gynae report to TOuch but during the interview with MCYS(which happens after baby arrived), they asked for it.
2. Insurance policy. FOr Touch, the form asked for our coverage but didn't ask to have a copy of the policies.
Quick quick, get them done. I used to have a check list and at each of them done during lunch time and quickly submit. Don't let the momentum slow down or else, it is very tiresome.
Die, congrats to completing the forms!! Yoohoo!
catherine250776
Member
Hi Die,
u r so lucky to get ur report in 3 wks time. I've to wait for 6 wks before I can get mine. Reason given is that the doctor is too busy to get endorse on it.
u r so lucky to get ur report in 3 wks time. I've to wait for 6 wks before I can get mine. Reason given is that the doctor is too busy to get endorse on it.
strawberrysusu
Member
Just a quick note to say hi
baby has been back home with us and we are enjoying parenthood! Our lives have been irrevocably changed in the matter of a few weeks and the sleepless nights have begun! Jia you to all the people in the process of their HSRs. We just received ours in the mail
we were v impressed with TOUCH and our social worker has been such a blessing to us as well!
Tho we got our baby locally, the agencies tt impressed me (only based on initial contact) were Alice from Lotus and Mr Low from Greenhouse, both very experienced. Ms Maha from Min of Baby Adoption was also very helpful, even tho they are newer on the block. Tt being said, we didn't go thru an agency, so I would still be hesitant to recommend without the experience to go with it.
Tho we got our baby locally, the agencies tt impressed me (only based on initial contact) were Alice from Lotus and Mr Low from Greenhouse, both very experienced. Ms Maha from Min of Baby Adoption was also very helpful, even tho they are newer on the block. Tt being said, we didn't go thru an agency, so I would still be hesitant to recommend without the experience to go with it.
catherine250776
Member
Just to submitthe application for the HSR. Been informed by the staff that the waiting time is 6 mths
hi strawberrysusu, so nice to hear the update about the new addition to your family!! very happy for you and ur hubby!! i'm so looking forward to this moment as well, even the sleepless nights
thanks also for the sharing on the agencies you had contact with .. useful reference
to all, like myself, we are going thru the hsr process .. this is the motivation .. jia you!
to all, like myself, we are going thru the hsr process .. this is the motivation .. jia you!
iwantitvmuch
Member
Strawberrysusu, I'm so happy for you! and that you are a parent. Now, you can experience the joy like we have all been experiencing.
All the best!
All the best!
angel_mummy
New Member
@Wow strawberrysusu, Congrats, Congrats
WELCOME to parenthood !!! Their initial months & years just pass by so fast do seize every moment
When Baby settled in well and Your family have adjusted well, do join us in TAFNET
@Catherine, that is indeed a long wait, Seems like most accreditted HSR agencies are now hving a long waiting time. Hope there will be an assessor available for you earlier. In the meantime, do take care and relaxed enjoy yr time now as when your baby arrives Life will be Different.
WELCOME to parenthood !!! Their initial months & years just pass by so fast do seize every moment
When Baby settled in well and Your family have adjusted well, do join us in TAFNET
@Catherine, that is indeed a long wait, Seems like most accreditted HSR agencies are now hving a long waiting time. Hope there will be an assessor available for you earlier. In the meantime, do take care and relaxed enjoy yr time now as when your baby arrives Life will be Different.
angel_mummy
New Member
O And on how much we 'paid' for our kids? Qns...
If I know is a genuine person who themselves are looking at adoption, like many of you I will make an effort to seat down with them, share and discuss about their issues and concerns.
If is a nosey ones from people I am not close to, depends on my mood I will says
- "That is a very rude question, I am not answering it" than I will turn away
Or
- Cost me less than my pregnancy (which is very true for my cases)
For closer friends who commit such sin I will try to take it as them being ignorant, like the oth mummies I will say "She is priceless" than tell them I will send you a link about positive adoption language, pls read it and use the right ones infront of me next time and I will really do it.
I guess due to my very direct and confrontational personality which are well-known to people around me. I always felt that if u say something do take responsibilties of what come out of your mouth and the consequences of getting the response from me in anyway I decided too....heehee
Ok I think I am not a good example at all, use "She/He is priceless" it is one of the best and sweetest answer.
If I know is a genuine person who themselves are looking at adoption, like many of you I will make an effort to seat down with them, share and discuss about their issues and concerns.
If is a nosey ones from people I am not close to, depends on my mood I will says
- "That is a very rude question, I am not answering it" than I will turn away
Or
- Cost me less than my pregnancy (which is very true for my cases)
For closer friends who commit such sin I will try to take it as them being ignorant, like the oth mummies I will say "She is priceless" than tell them I will send you a link about positive adoption language, pls read it and use the right ones infront of me next time and I will really do it.
I guess due to my very direct and confrontational personality which are well-known to people around me. I always felt that if u say something do take responsibilties of what come out of your mouth and the consequences of getting the response from me in anyway I decided too....heehee
Ok I think I am not a good example at all, use "She/He is priceless" it is one of the best and sweetest answer.
babylove80
New Member
Strawberrysusu,
I remember you! Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy for you. Welcome to a year of milestones!!!
Die,
Well done...What an amazing journey to get here. Good luck with the interview and all.
To everyone else,
a big hi from me. I think it was around this time that I got in touch with the wonderful mummies on this thread, and the support that I got from here was enormous. It's great to see this thread still alive, with all the new members. Whichever point you are in your adoption journey, good luck
.
I remember you! Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy for you. Welcome to a year of milestones!!!
Die,
Well done...What an amazing journey to get here. Good luck with the interview and all.
To everyone else,
a big hi from me. I think it was around this time that I got in touch with the wonderful mummies on this thread, and the support that I got from here was enormous. It's great to see this thread still alive, with all the new members. Whichever point you are in your adoption journey, good luck
Hi all,
it's been a long time since i come by only bcos I lost this thread totally and finally found it after some time.
My hubby and I adopted a baby gal 5 months ago and she is a darling. However, I was so stressed out in the midst of taking care of her by myself (cos my mom and in laws are old and hubby is away at Indonesia working), that I lost 5kg since she came home to us. In a way it is a good thing!
Prolly due to insufficient rest and she is quite a demanding baby. However, all was worth it cos she is such a darling to love.
And we will be joining hubby in a couple of weeks soon at Indo as i really miss him badly and he misses baby badly too.
Hope to come here more often to hear more motivating news! Good luck to all!
it's been a long time since i come by only bcos I lost this thread totally and finally found it after some time.
My hubby and I adopted a baby gal 5 months ago and she is a darling. However, I was so stressed out in the midst of taking care of her by myself (cos my mom and in laws are old and hubby is away at Indonesia working), that I lost 5kg since she came home to us. In a way it is a good thing!
Prolly due to insufficient rest and she is quite a demanding baby. However, all was worth it cos she is such a darling to love.
And we will be joining hubby in a couple of weeks soon at Indo as i really miss him badly and he misses baby badly too.
Hope to come here more often to hear more motivating news! Good luck to all!
angel_mummy
New Member
Hi Nicole,
Do take care !!! Must be tough handling parenthood alone at tis moment, hang on there since u will be joining hubby in Indo soon
God bless
Do take care !!! Must be tough handling parenthood alone at tis moment, hang on there since u will be joining hubby in Indo soon
God bless
angel_mummy
New Member
@inviticus, one friend of mind has gone thru Greenhouse for all her 3 adoption (her youngest being recently), her feedback on Greenhouse is quite good.
However, Mr Low from Greenhouse do prefer the parent travel w him to Malaysia to see the baby and his fees is higher than Oth excluding Medical and Legal if I am not wrong, u can call and enquirer
However, Mr Low from Greenhouse do prefer the parent travel w him to Malaysia to see the baby and his fees is higher than Oth excluding Medical and Legal if I am not wrong, u can call and enquirer
Hi All,
Haven't been logging in for a long time and is very delighted to see the thread so active and growing so quickly.
My husband and I adopted our Chloe through Greenhouse in 2008. Now she is coming to 3 years old and she has brought so much joy and laughter to both our families.
Mr Low has never requested and we did not travel to Malaysia with him at all. In fact, except for the medical check-up, he helped us with all the necessary documentation and legal processes. We are very pleased with his professionalism. I'm sure he is still as devoted and passionate in his profession.
Haven't been logging in for a long time and is very delighted to see the thread so active and growing so quickly.
My husband and I adopted our Chloe through Greenhouse in 2008. Now she is coming to 3 years old and she has brought so much joy and laughter to both our families.
Mr Low has never requested and we did not travel to Malaysia with him at all. In fact, except for the medical check-up, he helped us with all the necessary documentation and legal processes. We are very pleased with his professionalism. I'm sure he is still as devoted and passionate in his profession.
vickysmommy
Member
hi all, Touch is organising this talk which might interest you. For those of you who attended the recent talk on 13 Aug, Lilian Ing was on the panel with me:
A Workshop for Adoptive Parents
Come and learn how …
The wounds of loss affect your child’s behaviour
To embrace a developmental parenting style
To engage your child’s cooperation without using
threats or punishments
To teach self-control through discipline
To stay in touch and in tune with your child
The speaker, Ms Lilian Ing, is an attachment therapist and an adoptive mother of a ten-year-old daughter.
Date: 16 September 2010 (Thursday)
Time: 7.00pm – 9.00pm
Venue: Blk 162, Bukit Merah Central, 4th Floor, Room 5
Fee: $30/person or $50/couple
Registration deadline: 9 September 2010
To register, please send cheque made payable to TOUCH Family Services Limited and mail to: TOUCH Adoption Services, Block 162, Bukit Merah Central, #05-3545, S150162.
(Please indicate your full name, workshop date, contact number & email address
at the back of the cheque.)
A Workshop for Adoptive Parents
Come and learn how …
The wounds of loss affect your child’s behaviour
To embrace a developmental parenting style
To engage your child’s cooperation without using
threats or punishments
To teach self-control through discipline
To stay in touch and in tune with your child
The speaker, Ms Lilian Ing, is an attachment therapist and an adoptive mother of a ten-year-old daughter.
Date: 16 September 2010 (Thursday)
Time: 7.00pm – 9.00pm
Venue: Blk 162, Bukit Merah Central, 4th Floor, Room 5
Fee: $30/person or $50/couple
Registration deadline: 9 September 2010
To register, please send cheque made payable to TOUCH Family Services Limited and mail to: TOUCH Adoption Services, Block 162, Bukit Merah Central, #05-3545, S150162.
(Please indicate your full name, workshop date, contact number & email address
at the back of the cheque.)
vanilla_latte
New Member
Lyn - To ans your qn... after attending the pre-adoption workshop, we realized we were not so ready. Honestly, at that point, I didn't know if my marriage could work out and adopting a child might just complicate matter. Someday I was ready but he is not, someday he was ready and I am not. Then, we finally decided to keep this option open and will draw a final conclusion when my hubby turns 40. As years gone by, we were happy just having dogs instead (funny isn't it) and bringing our young nephew out on weekends. We didn't think much about adoption. Not until hubby reaches 39, his mother casually asked him if we do still plan to adopt as our dateline approaches. Yup... we told her our plan so she would stop nagging at us. That was our deciding moment as we knew it was now or never. Strangely, b4 the qn was popped, I had been sensing God's calling to be a mother but didn't tell my hubby. So, when the qn was asked, and for the first time, we both agree to adopt without any objections. And those issues we had earlier on were no longer an issue. I believe God was preparing our hearts all these years. And indeed we adopted our first child on the year my hubby turns 40. So, Lyn... take your time to think if you are ready to commit. Take a break if this issue has been choking you. Hope this helps.
Strawberrysusu - Congratulations!! Please enjoy every moment and remember to take pics every other day cos' they really grow up very fast.
Die - enjoy your "expectant period" now cos' when bb comes... no more freedom liao.
Nicole - You are such a brave gal... it muz be so hard on you. I don't think I can do it all alone.
Am going to attend the upcoming TAFENT workshop (need some tips desperately). Hope to meet some of you there.
Strawberrysusu - Congratulations!! Please enjoy every moment and remember to take pics every other day cos' they really grow up very fast.
Die - enjoy your "expectant period" now cos' when bb comes... no more freedom liao.
Nicole - You are such a brave gal... it muz be so hard on you. I don't think I can do it all alone.
Am going to attend the upcoming TAFENT workshop (need some tips desperately). Hope to meet some of you there.
vickysmommy
Member
I agree with SAHM, the decision has to be unanimous, otherwise, don't go for it cos bringing up a child (bio included) is dang tough and challenging; tests all marriages. Of course the nice sweet moments with your child tells you it's all worth it but there are real moments too, when you wonder what you've signed up for.
So Lyn, attend the pre-adoption talks with your hubby and talk about it.
Die - enjoy good sleep now cos i hvn't been able to do that for the last 5 yrs since #1 came, haha! (but one does get used to it.)
nicole - hang in there - I wish I cd lose 5 kgs!
So Lyn, attend the pre-adoption talks with your hubby and talk about it.
Die - enjoy good sleep now cos i hvn't been able to do that for the last 5 yrs since #1 came, haha! (but one does get used to it.)
nicole - hang in there - I wish I cd lose 5 kgs!
Hi SAHM, yes i m now in the situation where u and ur hubby once in. I m open to this idea but not fully ready yet and on the other hand my hubby told me he is not 1 percent ready yet but he will always been by my side gtg thru this journey of being fertility challenged. So the best to do for me is to keep all options open, do my best to ensure no regrets later. Yes u r right maybe GOD is putting us thru the test or perhaps he is also taking this time to prepare my heart like wat he had done to prepare yours... Thks for sharing with me wat u had been thru..
Hi Andrea i would like to attend the sept workshop but hubby say he is not ready to do so...
Hi Andrea i would like to attend the sept workshop but hubby say he is not ready to do so...
Hi all, I'm really suagu with posts and this is my 1st so pls bear wif me.
b4 i start n b4 i 4get, may i know wats pm? kee
My hub & i've just rec our hsr and thus am going online to research to decide whether to adopt local or foreign bbs. Tat was how i chanced upon this. Having read some o ya posts, they brought tears to my eyes. I know tat there are many ladies out there in the same situation as me but i've refused to go online during the last ten yrs when we were trying to conceive cos i don wan to relive the painful episodes, a 2nd time, online. Having finally done so, i wish i hav done earlier, not so much to benefit from it, but to hopefully help some couples out there to increase their chance to conceive, saving some money perhaps ... but more imptly ... time.
yap, we've tried ... everything... for 10 yrs. just a brief note on our journey: pcos - low sperm count - clomid - many iui - 1 ivf & struggle with faith in God - step down from leadership post at job - tcm & 3 gynaes - ectopic & subse blk tube ++ lotsa tears, envies,struggle wif feelings of lost of preg experiences (incl wat a few ladies mentioned - hubby touching my preggy tum tum)...
Yes, I cried and cried as i read ya posts, ladies (& oh, almost forgot invictus is a guy eh). They touched me, touched my raw spot but also offered me diff perspectives. Thanks a mill really.
Feeling anxious bout wat adoption will entail but also kinda relieved now as I've found this thread.
God Bless, everyone, in whichever stage of bb wanna-hav/making/adopting/raising u may be
b4 i start n b4 i 4get, may i know wats pm? kee
My hub & i've just rec our hsr and thus am going online to research to decide whether to adopt local or foreign bbs. Tat was how i chanced upon this. Having read some o ya posts, they brought tears to my eyes. I know tat there are many ladies out there in the same situation as me but i've refused to go online during the last ten yrs when we were trying to conceive cos i don wan to relive the painful episodes, a 2nd time, online. Having finally done so, i wish i hav done earlier, not so much to benefit from it, but to hopefully help some couples out there to increase their chance to conceive, saving some money perhaps ... but more imptly ... time.
yap, we've tried ... everything... for 10 yrs. just a brief note on our journey: pcos - low sperm count - clomid - many iui - 1 ivf & struggle with faith in God - step down from leadership post at job - tcm & 3 gynaes - ectopic & subse blk tube ++ lotsa tears, envies,struggle wif feelings of lost of preg experiences (incl wat a few ladies mentioned - hubby touching my preggy tum tum)...
Yes, I cried and cried as i read ya posts, ladies (& oh, almost forgot invictus is a guy eh). They touched me, touched my raw spot but also offered me diff perspectives. Thanks a mill really.
Feeling anxious bout wat adoption will entail but also kinda relieved now as I've found this thread.
God Bless, everyone, in whichever stage of bb wanna-hav/making/adopting/raising u may be
kayla,
Hi and welcome
So u have cleared the hsr hurdles and the next step is finding ur bb! How exciting! U know wat, i tink once u have ur bb in ur arms, u would totally forget aLL the fertility challenges in the past. PM means private message
My hubby n i will be celebrating our 10 year marriage anniversary next mth. Surely next yr would be a better and exciting year for us!
Mummies out there,
can i enquire whether our adopted bbs also gets the 4k cash gift and 6k top-up for cda account? TIA
Hi and welcome
So u have cleared the hsr hurdles and the next step is finding ur bb! How exciting! U know wat, i tink once u have ur bb in ur arms, u would totally forget aLL the fertility challenges in the past. PM means private message
My hubby n i will be celebrating our 10 year marriage anniversary next mth. Surely next yr would be a better and exciting year for us!
Mummies out there,
can i enquire whether our adopted bbs also gets the 4k cash gift and 6k top-up for cda account? TIA
Hi dream (dream09),
ya I din realized that they actually grow so fast. Maybe I was too obsessed with being tired. I suppose it is jsut a matter of getting used to it, haha!
Hi Mrs Chou (angel_mummy),
Thx, I will!
Hi die (die)/Andrea Yee (vickysmommy),
u definitely will lose weight cos like the chan brothers advertisement line " life will never be the same again" but in this case it is definitely for the better. But i think i am gaining back liao cos i am always feeling hungry as baby needs so much of my time and energy.
P/S: DIE, ya we do get the 4K and on top of that I think another 6K too.
Hi SAHM (vanilla_latte),
maybe I am expecting myself to do a lot better than what I have done bcos of my background (i was a preschool educator for almost 18 years, like die). However, i have come to realised that there are many things in life that we can't expect it to turn our 100% the way we plan it.
Prolly that's y the stress.
Hi ka y la (klarun99),
I can empathise with u cos I also went thru TCM, IVF b4 my hubby and I decided to embark on adoption. In fact, we were on the verge of giving up cos the waiting time for a local baby was so long (we waited for almost 5 years b4 we finally have our long awaited baby)
And now my hubby is so happy with our baby (although he is in Indo now, but we skype everyday and I can see the happiness in him everytime he talks to baby and me).
We felt that our life is finally complete with our baby, although it has been quite tough for me for now but definitely with no regrets.
ya I din realized that they actually grow so fast. Maybe I was too obsessed with being tired. I suppose it is jsut a matter of getting used to it, haha!
Hi Mrs Chou (angel_mummy),
Thx, I will!
Hi die (die)/Andrea Yee (vickysmommy),
u definitely will lose weight cos like the chan brothers advertisement line " life will never be the same again" but in this case it is definitely for the better. But i think i am gaining back liao cos i am always feeling hungry as baby needs so much of my time and energy.
P/S: DIE, ya we do get the 4K and on top of that I think another 6K too.
Hi SAHM (vanilla_latte),
maybe I am expecting myself to do a lot better than what I have done bcos of my background (i was a preschool educator for almost 18 years, like die). However, i have come to realised that there are many things in life that we can't expect it to turn our 100% the way we plan it.
Prolly that's y the stress.
Hi ka y la (klarun99),
I can empathise with u cos I also went thru TCM, IVF b4 my hubby and I decided to embark on adoption. In fact, we were on the verge of giving up cos the waiting time for a local baby was so long (we waited for almost 5 years b4 we finally have our long awaited baby)
And now my hubby is so happy with our baby (although he is in Indo now, but we skype everyday and I can see the happiness in him everytime he talks to baby and me).
We felt that our life is finally complete with our baby, although it has been quite tough for me for now but definitely with no regrets.
