Child Adoption

Mummyportia and babylove80 thks for ur advice. Actually i myself is not 100 percent ready for adoption but would like to hear another person view ie my hubby but unfortunately he didnt want to comment on it coz he feel that this issue has not touched to think yet. I remembered a frd who thought she will have to adopt asked me what i think abt adoption in the past i remembered answering her that i will not adopt coz i feel there is too much responsiblity towards others children but as i grow older and perhaps coz of the long and painful ttcing journey my mind set 2wards adoption somehow changes.
There are alot of what if question on my mind and i feel totally alien abt adoption.....
 


Mummyportia and babylove80, perhaps u can share with me ur experience on adoption ie wat makes u think u r ready for adoption etc.. thks
 
Lyn,
It's been an ultra long journey for me, as I remember how it's never occurred to me that I would never conceive my own flesh n blood, or take the path of adoption. But all methods of trying had failed on my part. Then when my hubby n i attended the pre-adoption wkshop, we walked out halfway knowing we were still not ready. For us, it was prayer that did it. Call it destiny, fate or what u will, but it took us exactly a year later to come back to confront the issues raised during the workshop, and in the same week, I was mentally ready to talk about it again with my hubby, not knowing that he had secretly downloaded the forms from TOUCH and was ready to discuss the idea with me. Although we still had doubts, the process of completing the home study report (HSR) helped to strengthen our r/ship and prepare us for parenthood, esp in finding a home for our 'destined' child, not in finding a child for our home. The rest was magic...
 
Thank you Babylove & Mummyportia. I'm truly enjoying motherhood! I didn't know that i would feel this much of joy.

Lyn

I understand how you feel Lyn! Frankly, right till the last moment, i was still not ready for adoption. But I felt that it was unfair to my husband who was so much into adoption, that I decided to relent.Part of the reason why I turned down the first baby I saw, was not just because of lack of chemistry but s also because I wondered whether I was really ready for adoption. I must add though that my husband bonded with both this baby and my little girl immediately. Even when I took my little baby girl home, I had doubts. For the first two days, I was reminded that I was not her biological mother whenever I looked at her or carried her. But on the third day, something just happened and i just fell in love with her.

I agree with what Babylove and Mummyportia have suggested.Try and get your husband to attend workshops held by TOUCH.It might just help.Or better still get him to talk to other adotiive dads if you know any.
 
Janella,
I am so happy for you! I am sure it feels like a dream comes true. Everything falling into place and I am really glad you are enjoying motherhood and you have fallen in love with her. Life will never be the same and be even more magical with our little ones. I can really feel your happiness and I am happy to be part of your journey
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Lyn,
I also think the Pre adoption is a good idea. let me know if need to talk
 
Hi ladies thks for sharing. Perhaps i shld give myself more time to think abt it and when i m 100 percent into it then i shall discuss with my hubby coz he always think i rush into things and giving up too fast..

Janella, it will be a very good idea to have an adoptive father to speak to DH abt this issue but we dnt know anyone and he is also not into this yet so i guess not at this moment...

Dream, will very much like to know and learn more from u abt adoption but i guess r too busy now... but feel free to call me at 91734741 if u r free.. hope to hear from u
 
Janella, very happy to know that u r enjoying parenthood and this aspired be that we can also love a child who do not come from our tummy.. i hope this give me courage to take the step forward one day..
 
Hi ladies, can I just check with you again roughly how long the process is between the office and home interviews? When did most of you start asking around about possible babies for adoption? I know the answer must be in some part of this thread, but I somehow couldn't find it just now... thanks for your help! From what we know, our referees have all received the requests for reference, and most are in the midst of completing it.

Janella, my heart leapt with joy upon hearing your good news! It must really be worth all the waiting, to finally have your little baby to hold and to love
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how wonderful!
 
Strawberrysusu,
it takes abt 2wks to a month from office to home interview. After the home interview u can start looking for agent or babies.
 
Janella! Congratulations!!!!!!!! So happy 4 u. Yes yr life will really never ever be the same again! Enjoy her now. This newborn phase passes really quickly... Too quickly. I never understood it back then but now I do.

Sweeclo's baby is no longer the youngest!

Strawberrysusu, glad 2 hear ur Hsr is moving along! So exciting, we're gonna hv another new mummy soon! All the best! Enjoy yr sleep now........i miss mine.....zzzzzz
 
Yuli, managed to see some of the past postings and saw ur daughter pic.. she is so cute and pretty envy envy. How old is she now? Any latest pic?
 
Janella, hope to see your precious soon. I understand how you feel about the initial hesitation. I'm glad you are falling in love with her. You will bond more and more with her up to the point that when you take her for more vaccinations, you will feel the pain when she cries.

Lyn, my hubby is adopted. He is a normal man and there isn't anything so scary about being adopted. I know that you all hv many questions abt adoption. But sometimes, the very worst picture is painted so that we can be prepared. Really, adoption is simply bringing up a child who is not of our flesh and blood. As long as we don't hide it from our children and be frank with them from the beginning, they will accept. There's no mystery about adoption. So, don't be worry.
I'm v glad that I adopted because my mother in law is quite old and if I don't adopt, I don't know how else will she be a grandmother. She is so in love with our child and she is so happy. I'm gald that baby brought so much joy to my mother and sis in laws. They fight over her.
My hubby's family has alot of adoption stories as a lot of relatives are adopted. They all married well and some are doing very well and they are very fillal to their adopted mothers. That's why I'm not afraid. I hope what I say bring comfort to you.
I like what you said that you can do good deed by helping to bring up other's child. Adopting can bless you as baby will definitely bring joy and on the other hand, you can bless the child with your love. Try to talk to your hubby at the right time. You can do the HSR first and slowly wait for your miracle. When you meet your baby, you will fall in love and your hubby would too.

Mommyportia, your hubby so sweet, he downloaded the forms from Touch. My hubby doesn't know how to even go to the website. Asking him to fill up the form is similar to him taking an examination and he wanted to copy what I wrote. haha.
 
iwantitvmuch
Erm yeah downloading is my hubby's specialty n only observable talent ... oops. Anyway I'm so encouraged by u having such a supportive family prior to having yr precious - honestly she's 1 of the sweetest n funniest babies I've ever seen in my life n such a precious gem to behold, a real gift from God.

Lyn
U might wish to go into this website for some very helpful info/articles and real-life stories for inspiration and to answer some of your queries when you have time: www.adoptivefamilies.com
 
Dear Ladies,
I have been a silent reader of this thread for a while. Decided to drop a message today to say hello and a big thank Q as I benefited much from all your contribution.

Got married 10 yrs back, have been trying for a child since the 1st yr of our marriage but never emotionally prepared for IUI or IVF.

We started our adoption process in 2007, went for many workshops organized by TAS, after which hubby n I both know we are totally ready for adoption. We both felt that it is our calling
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Submitted the home study report to Fei Yue in 2008. A conversation with a colleague who have twins from IVF prompted me to de-tour to IVF in 2009, was pregnant w twins but have a miscarriage on the 17th week due PROM. It was definitely a v painful and sad process for me.

While on my maternity leave at the beg of this yr, we immediately decided to carry-on with the adoption process and at about the same time I found this thread on SMH.

Many of yr stories touches my heart and I found much comfort from it which help me in the recovery from my miscarriage BUT most important I found Alice from Lotus here in this thread, and she help us find our Angel BB. Currently we are in the process of getting the dependent pass for our Angel BB.

So here is a BIG Thank Q from me to all you marvelous lady and mummies :D
 
I rem u ladies have a FB private grp, can I be part of it ?

BTW anyone of you is with FeiYue C.A.P (Connecting Adoptive Parenting) or Touch TAFNET (TOUCH Adoptive Families Network) ?
 
Mrs Chou
congrats! I know the feeling and no words can describe your happiness. It is like everything is falling into place once your little angel has found you. I am really happy for you and glad to be part of it in some ways. Congrats again. Enjoy the sleepless nights! My boy used to wake up every 2 hours for feeding.
 
Lyn, my hubby did say that adopting can be our backup plan when we failed our IVF the first couple of times. However, when we failed our last IVF, he was very very upset! And he wanted me to try again but I don't want to try anymore. Because I always go to the gynae alone(as I'm very independent and he's in the financial mkt and can't take time off) and I was tired from taking time off for the IVF. The morning visits to the fertility doctor is very troublesome.
So, when I failed the last IVF, I threw in the towel and never looked back! Hubby went with the flow eventually.
Today, agent called me and asked if I'm interested in a baby boy. My hubby is so keen but I am not ready because I can't drop my work just like that. Most importanly, I can't 'diversify' loving my baby and another baby. My hubby is offering me a proposal to quit working but .......

Anyway Lyn, just to answer your question, yes, hubby was supportive. Eventually, they will love the child as their own. That's why we love our men. They can be quite soft right?? As long as we push the right buttons and the right time. HAHA.

Mrs Chou! Congrats!! After you adopted and enjoying parenthood, do you think "Aiyo, why did I wait so long to adopt??? It's so fun afterall."

Mummyportia, Thanks. my baby is very funny, I know. We find her funny too. And she smiles alot and easily.
 
Hi there, am new here and am excited that this thread is coming alive again. I'm an adoptive mom and my gal is turning 18 months soon. I certainly share all your pain, anxiety, joy and excitement along this journey.

Congrats to those whom have just become parents, enjoy and cherish every moment with your baby cos' they really grow up too fast!! Do join support group if you haven't (I'm with TAFNET) cos' it does give you an outlet to "let out your steam" and learn from others' experience cos' sometimes it is just hard to share it with our friends on adoptive issues.

For those considering adoption, my advice to you is don't rush if either you are not ready. You will know when the time comes. Even adoption was my only choice to start a family... it still took us 7 years to come to term as a couple and we weren't 100% sure nor ready. We then decided to go by faith and started with HSR first b4 our search for baby. Somehow one thing leads to another and the rest is history now (even though I considered our process emotionally draining and not a smooth one actually)

18 months now... I can say it is amazing being a mother. I often thanked my gal for adopting me instead cos' she complete my family
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Hope you find my sharing useful. Thank you all for your sharing... talk soon.
 
Vanilla_latte & Mrs Chou - welcome!!! So nice to have more mummies joining us.

Vanilla_latte - Nice to have mummies with older babies here so I can ask for parenting suggestions and advice!

Mrs Chou - is baby home with you already? I seriously think we should ask Alice to cook us ALL a nice lunch. I wonder if she's reading this, heh heh.

Iwantitvmuch - wah, your hubby is keen already ah? Good lah. like my mum says, will be difficult initially to have two little ones so close in age but once they're older it'll get easier. BUT but but, I can't bring myself to buy into that idea. My ONE is already getting me tired - I can't imagine another one in the background going waah....waah...waah........

Lyn, thanks. My dd is 11 mths now. Time sure flies! Many have told me she's so lucky to have us as her parents and home but it feels more like we are the ones who have been blessed with her being in our lives. The amount of love her grandparents and aunts lavish on her as well as the acceptance and love she enjoys from all our friends has just been overwhelmingly amazing. Like Iwantitvmuch said, there were moments when I asked myself (after I adopted) why I waited for so long but in hindsight, I probably adopted at the best time for our situation so just have faith, go with your gut feel about when to broach the topic again, or when to do the hsr or when to attend workshops etc......and all the best!
 
Yuli - thanks for your warm welcome. Feel free to ask any questions and we can discuss about it. I totally share the same thoughts as you about having our baby in our lives. We are the blessed ones indeed. Also, looks like most of us here know Alice huh... she must be doing so well. BTW, are you working or looking after baby FT?

Mrs Chou - Welcome to motherhood! I believe your stomach is full of butterflies cos' mine was like that last time. Enjoy your new beginning.

I've recently read a book titled "A message from an unknown mother" and was deeply touched by all the short stories. It's a good read for adoptive parent.
 
Gorgeous Ladies, Thanks for all yr well-wishes :D

@dream, indeed no words can describe what I felt now, my girl is now 2mths 2 weeks, started around 2 months she woke up only 1 time in the nite for nite-feed. Infact she is drinking much lesser than 1st month even in the day time at about every 3 hr interval, I was so worried, brought her to the PD yesterday. PD says she grow from a 3.4kg at birth to 6kg at 1 month is too fast and too much thus probably her body is adjusting by taking less. Still hv to say I am feeling heart-ache as I felt she has "slim down" abit
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I guess I just have to handle all these 1st time mom unknown with grace and patience, and not getting to anxious....heehee

@iwantitvmuch, I am like "Aiyo, why did I de-tour to do IVF, shld have just go straight into adoption. I might already have 2 kids (both adopted) by now haha" I know we sound abit kiasu, after Angel is with us for a couple of days, my hubby and I almost decided immediately we are getting her a bro/sis thru adoption too, within the next 2 yrs before our HSR expired. I have always think of having half a dozen of kids. But at my age now may be settle for 2 than see how.

@SAHM, I cant agreed with you more, I think though being a parent thru the choice of adoption is such a joy to many of us here. Yet it is not for everyone. For us the TAS workshops are really helpful, providing us w the right mind-set and readiness to go into adoption. I have sign up w Fei Yue C.A.D and will be joining them in the coming session. However, due to a more personal relationship with TOUCH, I will also be checking out TAFNET. Able to PM me your contact ? Nice to hv someone I know when we are there
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@Yuli, Yes my baby is with me at this moment, now in the process of settling her legal documents, understd hv to wait a couple more months thou
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Like SAHM, I totally agreed w you we are the blessed ones
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That is exactly why my hubby decided to call our girl Angel :D

BTW, I also got my girl PD contact (Dr William Yip - SBCC) from one of the mummy here, I forgot who, I just want to say "THANK YOU". He is a real good doctor.

As for Alice, haha, yes we all need to get her to join us if we have a big gathering !
 
Hi ladies,

it's been a while since i logged in as i was at my in laws place with my baby, and they do not have internet access there.

A little update abt us. I have not been able to induce breastmilk for my gal as i was planning to do so after i have gotten her sleeping pattern in order to do it. However, my little angel's sleeping pattern seems to be changing every week. ANyway, like wat dream says nowadays formula is good enough and quite close to breastmilk.

However, i am stuck with my breast pump, if any of u ladies know of anyone interested i would like to sell it to them at a cheaper rate. ( I used it for less than 10x and I bought it 3 months ago, i still have the receipt).

Hi Mrs Chou (angel_mummy),

welcome to the thread. My baby gal is 2 months 2 weeks old too. when is ur baby's birthdate? My sis in law lend me a book abt caring for newborns and it teaches us how to stop baby from getting up for their nite feedings, now i have stopped feeding my gal in the nite. the last feed would be either 10 or 11pm.

it is a really good book teaching us how to train our babies proper eating/sleeping/waking time so that babies dun need to get up for nite feeds.

Rwally wonderful book, she hv gotten from her long b4. but it is not too late, haha!
 
Lyn
Would like to recommend u to read 'Raising Adopted Children' by Lois Ruskai Melina. I got it from TOUCH n find it a fantastic resource book, with practical n reassuring advice, that organises its topics systematically. It works for me, but if u find it too dry, there are many books that u could loan from the public library without having to buy them - they offer good tips but are more western-oriented. Try also 'Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul', 'A Forever Family' by John Houghton' and 'Talking with Young Children about Adoption' by Watkins and Fisher.

Mrs Chou
Tx for sharing your adoption journey. It's a real encouragement even tho most of us have already got our lil one(s). I was planning to join TAFNET too, but never got down to it after motherhood set in. So voila, let's go check it out together!

Iwantitvmuch
Aiya actually what I meant was that both u n hubby are a v funny couple, (u guys never fail to make us laugh n have the power to lighten the mood with your random comments), that's prob why yr precious is so funny n relational too... definitely shows up the power of bonding n nurturing in u guys, u go gal! Just know that yr baby will turn out to be v happy n well-adjusted. Btw when do u think u might be ready for a 2nd baby? I'm feeling it too, esp when my bb seems to crave for more n more attention now that he's sharper in his senses, have a feeling he's going to take his 1st steps soon, cos' yesterday i thought i heard him shout at me 'MAMMIE!!' a few times, then saw him push the walker past me by, all these made my heart whoop with joy! Deep down I know i'm ready to get him a baby sister, but my hubby is not keen on Lotus.

SAHM
Welcome to the thread!! Yes, I like "A message from an unknown mother" too. Tugs at the chord of our heartstrings n so readable. Wow I've got so much to learn from u as my baby is only 13mths n has a long way to go, but I'm also missing those days when he was so small n wriggly, chuckling easily at every little thing n totally 'innocent'!!

Yuli
Juz to thank u for being part of my support circle in our raising of baby C, as my hubby usually shuns social gatherings but really finds u n hubby warm, mature n so assuring.
 
Hi ladies

Thanks for all your well wishes!

My baby had a huge lump under her armpit due to the BCG injection and she had to have it removed yesterday.It was heartbreaking seeing her cry when the doc cut it up and i almost fainted when i saw all the blood.

Mrs Chou, welcome! After I got my baby girl, I too wondered why did not adopt right from the start instead of wasting my time and money on ivfs and going through all the heartbreaks. If i had not done so, i would have adopted another baby.But age does not permit, so I will make do with my little girl who has brought us so much joy.

SAHM, welcome to the tread too! I am also with TAFNET and I've also joined the small home groups.Though i have only attended one session, I must say that I've benefited a lot.

Iwantitvmuch, some people are already saying that I will conceive since I have adopted. After my baby came into my life, I have no desire to conceive cos' I want to give all my love to this baby.
 
@SAHM (Vanilla_Latte), was trying to PM you to get in touch for TAFNET. Notice your PM is not activated
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Look like beside the weekly church cell groups meeting we are going to have a lot more session to attend to haha. Thank god the church train us well in this area. :D

@mummyportia, sure lets do it together i have just downloaded the form and filled up yesterday, will be sending it out w the cheque today
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Can you PM me, may be we can start on the same day! Yahoo ! Just realised we read some similiar books
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@Nicole, my girl is born on the 6 Apr 10. Yours ? What is the name of the book you mentioned ? Someone told me about the Ezzo method have read something about it but have not try, cos she is drinking at least 100-110 at nite while her day feed she is drinking only 60 thus decided not to give up on the nite feed. I guess get heart-pain seeing her drinking so little compare to 1st month ;P

@Janella, actually my hubby and I have the same thots as you, we are not planning on conceiving at all (on total birth control now haha).Adopt again is our ONLY option if we decided to let our girl have a siblings. I am blessed cos both mind and my hubby family + my church family supported us totally
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Mrs Chua - Sorry that my PM is not activated cos' I am an IT idiot... don't even know how it works. Hahaha. For TAFNET, I believe once you signed up they will allocate you to a small house group. We gathered once every 6 weeks I think. So far, due to commitment, I've only managed to attend once. But I do try to attend their workshop if I find topics useful. Let me know which group you have been assigned.

Mummyportia, the book is good right?! I finished it within 2 days and some parts just made me cry. 13 months shd start walking soon then your whole life will change again! You bet... I do missed her early days esp when she haven't found her legs cos' its tiring keeping watch when she is not sleeping these days. But they become more interactive and fun to play. Am certain your boy is calling you!! Meltz...

Janella - I can imagine your heartache... my heart goes out to you. Am sure your gal will be fine. Take care.

Nicole - not sure you can sell your breast pump on this thread cos' we are all adoptive moms here. Breastmilk? Sensitive you know... am just kidding. Though our babies are on formula but they grow up perfectly fine
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@SAHM - Thanks will tell u which group I am in
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u have to set it in your Profile. Under
"Preferences", uncheck the box for "Do not send me "Private Message" e-mails from other board users". U can PM me once done
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As for Nicole breast pump is because she was thinking of attempting adoptive breastfeeding for her BB
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You can check this site http://www.llli.org/NB/NBadoptive.html
It is totally possible. I started researching and thinking about it during my HSR, also talk to my Gynea about it too, is just that she told me to consider the other stress I will be facing when handling a new and might want to go back to her if I make up my mind.

I might consider it just abit later, at this moment have is learning and getting use to the daily routine of my BB, abit challenging for me as I am a WAHM
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Nicole - pls accept my apologies for jumping into conclusion. honestly, i have not heard about adoptive breastfeeding. Wow! this is something new to me. Even if i knew... i think it would be too stressful for me cos' even my friends whom gave birth naturally gave up breastfeeding or not even attempt to do it all. I truly admired your courage to attempt it and this tells me that you are definitely a good mummy.

Mrs Chou - thanks for your clarifications and I have done the settings. I think you should be able to PM me now. Talk again.
 
TAFNET -Touch Adoption Family Network? I guessed. It's at the Touch website. Not sure if it's only for adoptive parents. i joined but haven't participated in any meetings..


Mummyportia, let me know if you go to the TAFNET function. I'll go with you.
 
iwantitvmuch
Sure! I've just completed the form n will be going down to TOUCH tdy for submission. It was fun sourcing for our favourite family pix
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Btw like u, I realised 'm not fully ready to spread out my time n love bet my bb, work n another bb yet, esp when my son is needing so much of my attention as soon as he turned 1, talking to me (actually it's baby babble) n looking out for me constantly to share his latest passion. So I'll defer it to prob next yr.
 
Hi ladies,

It's been a long time since I update. Would like to share, we have brought our little princess home on 16th Jun.
This day is also meaningful for us as it is our 11th yr wedding anniv. These 3 days with her have been surreal and a sense of fulfillment.
Though I must admit my hour of sleeps is now down from 4 hours to 2 hours. Yuli, you are so right, I miss my sleep. Been getting headache since yesterday.
Strange, today when I snuggle hold her to me, the headache is gone. hmmm...I think she works magic to me
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Janella, I agree with you that I felt depressed and guilty when I did not adopt the first bb girl but I know she has found the right parents for her.
Congrats to your little princess. How's ur little one now. Hope she is better. I know how you feel.

Sweetcl, thx u for the bb stuffs. really appreciate it. i keep telling her she is wearing xie xie's clothes. haha

Mrs Chou, welcome and ur girl name is so apt. I believe our bb are angel's in our heart.

Vanilla_latte, welcome. It's grt to know you and hope to learn more parenting know-how from you too.

Nicole, Hi. nice to meet you. Would you be able to share the title of the book abt caring for newborns as I would love to learn how to stop bb from getting up from their nite feeds.

Oh ladies, spoke to wei lei and there is a disclosure forum coming in Aug. It is a continuation of the earlier disclosure forum we went. They will invite speakers who are adoptive parents and will shared with us their experience after the disclosures.
When I get the details from Wei Lei, will let you all know. Would be great to meet up there too.

Got to run now, my little one is crying. She is having a lot of wind in her stomach. Keeps giving off little bouts of gas.
Need to go feed her.
 
@ellebaby, Nice to hear from u on this thread again, have been reading your previous posts ! I am so so so happy for U, did u go to Alice from Lotus too ?

Happy Mothering !!!

@Mummyportia, I will PM u once I got the group I am assigned to see if it is the same group
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I suspect will be assign to group around of home location. I am staying in the far WEST ;)
 
Hi Mrs Chou (angel_mummy)/ellebaby (ellebaby),

the title of the book is " on becoming babywise"
by gary ezzo and robert bucknam

SAHM (vanilla_latte),

I was not planning to sell the breast pump to any one of u here but if u have other frens who may be keen.

In any case, i think i agree with SAHM it is indeed very stressful cos I am also SAHM and caring for my baby all by myself. ANd I also realised there is a lot more things to do with my baby than just caring for her. Hence, I think I will have to give up my plan to breast feed her. SIgh!

However, I believe there is a reason why I had to give up b4 I start. And my girl is drinking quite well besides the time when she was unwell.

I am so surprised she has starting cooing and gurgling since last week. SO talkative haha! ANd she is so cute whenever we bring her favourite toy to her and she would give us her cutest and happiest smile.

Sometimes i also feel very tired cos my hubby is outstation and will only be back every 2 months hence I have to take care of her myself but seeing her happy and smiling i felt everything is worth it. I am sure that is how every mommies here feel, rite?
 
Ellebaby - Happy Anniversary and Welcome to Motherhood! Yes, sleep deprivation is definitely the first sign of new mothers but you will get used to it. Mummy's power will see you thru
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How old is your baby now? For baby stomach wind, in case you haven't try these methods - roll the milk bottle with both hands instead of shaking it so got less bubbles. Burp well. Try gripe water after shower (I mixed it with water). Apply ruyi oil after shower and at night. I diligently did the same thing everyday until mine was much older and she don't have wind problem. As for getting bb to sleep thru the nite, it really varies from bb. You just have to be patience. I only know daily routine is the key. My lil one slept thru since 7 weeks old (and she sleeps alone in next room) but started waking up for nite feed when she turned 9 months. I was like "der"... guess it was my time to pay back
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iwantivmuch/mummyportia/Mrs Chou - glad you all are joining TAFNET! It's good that we are gathered together for the love of our child so we don't have to fight our battle alone. WeiLei is such a wonderful woman. BTW, I don't think TAFNET allocate to zone. For my group, we rotate to host meeting. Hope we get to meet each other in person soon.

Nicole - I too care for baby plus dog all by myself without helper. It is true it is really not just about caring baby... the "to do list" never ends. Don't feel bad for not able to breast feed... by you caring her by yourself 24/7 is enough to bond with her. Nutrients wise... don't worry too much about it. bb will still grow up fine. It is definitely hard on you if your hubby is not able to help you out. Are you able to get your mum or in-law to help you regularly so you get to take a break? It is really impt to stay sane. Otherwise you are going to burnt out soon cos' bb will get more demanding as they grow. I've learned that we can never be a perfect mother but we can choose to be a happy mother = happy baby. And yes, seeing my bb smile just meltz all tiredness away. It still works till today.

Enjoy your weekend everyone! // Vanilla
 
Hey ashwin - By right, it is advisable to wait till your HSR approved in case of any delay. Then you won't have to live apart with bb for too long cos' bb is growing everyday. You can't bring bb home until HSR is approved in fact not until you got the dependant pass actually. However, it depends what is your HSR status right now? Have you completed all the interviews just waiting for approval? If that's the case, then I guess its ok you go view baby and try to flw up closely with the officer for your approval. But if that's not the case and if your heart is strong... you can also go ahead to view baby. Am surprised to hear that your agent has a few for you to view! Be weary of unreliable agents cos' I had a really bad experience with my first agent... bb never make it home. It was heart breaking for us. Hope this helps.
 
Hi ashwin, if u dun mind can u share with me wat do u mean by wat IF? U mean u already saw the baby but still considering if he is the one?
 
Ashwin - I can understand your anxiety. Believe most AP fell in love on the first sight of our bb. For our case, despite we had our HSR report, we didn't even dare to bring bb home at first sight. We told agent that we will only bring her home after clearing medical. While waiting for results, we did not even pay her a visit but took that time to get our home ready. I know of another couple actually waited out until dependant pass is given b4 they bring bb home. Thus, bb continued to be cared by agent but they visited bb daily. Guess we were just like your wife... didn't want to start bonding until it is safe.

If you are certain this is your boy, could you not "reserve" him with your agent, clear his medical and bring him home after your HSR report is out? Meanwhile, inform the officer that you've found your child and asked them to speed up approval. However, if you want to take the risk to bring bb home without HSR, asked yourself if you are prepared to answer to authorities or maybe even jeopardize adoption process shd something happen to bb while he is under your care? To me, it will be too stressful. Agent always say "its ok, no problem" cos' I believe they simply want to "off load" asap and not wanting to incur extra nanny's cost. After being bitten once, we became weary of agent's intention and learn to guard our interest as well as our heart. If you are still unsure, suggest you talk to your HSR officer and get his/her view on this matter. May God's peace be with you
happy.gif
 
Hi Ashwin,
How far are you into your HSR? If you have already completed your home interview, I think you can already be prepared to bring your baby home. It will be unlikely that you will fail your HSR, unless something really goes wrong. Just tell your agent that you are waiting for the official approval, and that you WANT the baby. Perhaps you can take the baby for his medical etc while waiting, once the approval is given, and medical is passed, you can bring bb home.

I totally understand that feeling of falling in love with your lil one.

To all the other new mummies, Mrs Chou, Vanilla, Nicole
A BIG WELCOME to you!
 
ashwin, I'm very excited for you and your wife. I was like yourselves, I didn't dare to say Yes the first time I meet baby. So, my agent brought her to my house and I had to have my parents and in-laws around for support before I dare to say yes. After I said yes, my emotions start swelling. It was so amazing and I visited baby every other day and on the day the results are out, we took her home without delay and the officer rushed out the HSR report on the same day too. I still remember what happened on that day. It was so memorable.
happy.gif
 
Hi ladies

My little girl is feeling better now! Her wound is healing fast.Thank God!

However, I must say she farts a lot! I think I'll do what SAHM has suggested, that is, roll the bottle with both hands.

Also, did your receive the rotavirus jab. I feel that my baby should get it but my hubby is against it.

Ellebaby, I'm so happy for you! I still can't get over the fact that I'm a mother! Never mind about the sleepless nights!

Ashwin, welcome to the thread!
 
Hi everyone!

Welcome Ashwin! I agree with the rest. If you've through the office interview and the home interview and just waiting for the officers to process the HSR then you probably can say yes to your little boy! Actually, since we haven't heard from you in a while, you may already be in parenthood bliss!

Ellebaby - again, I'm sooooooooo happy for you. I told you to sleep a lot right?! My lil one still wakes up at least once a night - argh.

Janella, great to hear she's doing well! Like what SAHM suggested, there's a reddish oil called ruyi oil or some call it yuyi oil/juyi oil that's pretty good too. Rub a lil on the palm of your hands and just gently touch baby's tummy. The heat from the oil does something abotu expelling the wind/gas. After doing that, you can rub/place your hands on the soles of baby's feet and wear socks for her. If she's farting a lot but not uncomfortable then that's okay lah. Farting is good wat, at least she can expel the wind. If she gets uncomfortable, you can add gripe water or Rid-wind to her milk (or give it to her neat). Really so happy that Ellebaby and you have joined us on this journey together!
 
Janella - Hope my tips work for your bb. I did give my gal rotavirus jab. However, not long after jabbing her, there was an article on rotavirus which does not sound too positive... can't remember the details thou but you might want to google it and read it for yourself. And I did asked PD but she said there is no call for concern and babies been jabbed has shown no adverse effect. It's your call.

Ashwin - I seriously don't think you will fail lah esp you are now waiting for approval. So, do not worry too much but think about how you can be a good parent instead. Hope to hear good news from you soon!

Ladies - I've been receiving comments from known / unknown pple (until I'm so immune) saying "your bb quite tanned hor... most bb white white one leh... she go swimming is it?" Fact is she hardly swims. To us, she looks fine cos' we both are also tanned looking, in fact I think she looks really healthy. To make it worst, in laws asked me if there is any "whitening lotion" which can be used on her... irritating!! Sorry, I just need to let out my steam and I ain't going to do anything cos' I just love the way she is.
 
Hi Sahm....
I thought i'll give you what i went through I hope you don't mind... my little one is 5 now and the other day she told me she went to the playground and a little girl said...I don't want to play with u because you are dark skin" so I asked my little one what she said "I just walked away and played with the others" My little one also tried putting on a lot of powder and said she wished she was white. So I knew I had to help her understand she was specail and What God has made is beautiful...i believe she now loves herself the way she.... it is a cruel world out there and sometimes the adults don't help the matter either...if you get wat i mean
 


Hi ladies,

regarding the rotavirus jab i was also contemplating whether to jab my girl or not cos according to what i read, it has some kind of a pig's virus. But when i asked the polyclinic's nurse she says the batch that the polyclinic's has was contaminated but can try checking with private pd. SO i also dunno whether should i get the jab for my girl or not.

and there is also the pneumoccocal jab which costs abt $400+ ( can use medisave) but for adoption cases when we still have not gotten the birth cert i wonder can we appeal to pay thru medisave?
 
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