Child Adoption

Elle, I also agreed with Janella. Follow your heart..

Blesswbb, glad that your girl fever gone down and hope you have a speedy recovery. Must be very stressful these few days for you, hope your helper can come soon.

Yuli,
I'm also interested in the classes but not sure itz my dd too young, haha... I'm also a "kaisu" mum ;)

Iwantitvmuch,
Happy Anniversary!

Janella, Looking forward to your good news..

babylove, how're you?
 


Hi all,

I've joined FB, thanks iwantitvmuch for the invite.

Yuli, congrats on the citizenship. One month after BC, that's fast! My son got his about 3 months after BC, probably because the ICA officers clearing leave during Nov/Dec period
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Blesswbb, regarding baby bonus, ICA will give you the info and forms when you collect citizenship. Fill them up, select a bank (Standard Chartered or OCBC) and mail them.

And regarding baby classes, we go to My Gym in Tampines. They have classes for as young as 6 months old. Gabriel started going to My Gym when he was about 9 months old. We stopped recently as I was thinking of sending him to Growing Up Gifted or Pat's Schoolhouse D'story club.

Hello to the rest.
 
hi gals
I'm really thinking to switching to adopt thru agency instead of local.How do I convinve DH??
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Rehdeer
A friend of mine works at Growing up. Seems interesting
happy.gif
.

Elle
I'm glad you're back. You and I in the same boat. Waiting...
 
Elle,

Hugs, the right one and rite time will come along. Be patient n stay positive, ok.

Janella,
No I didnt fall out of my chair la. Definitely baby will keep u young n active. Waiting for ur gd news..
 
Yuli, any kind of flash card. I have bought 2 boxes from a christian book store. They are alphabets and another about stories. So, I can show her the Noah's Ark and read the story from the other side of the card. Just buy anything lah, it doesn't matter at this age. I think flash cards of shapes and colour will be better. The flash card on my iTouch is called 'Baby flash card'.

Janella, I think I will join TAFNET soon. Let me know when you attend the next small group.
 
iwantitvmuch,
I also downloaded the baby flash card into my iTouch. Very happy with it & find it very good. I even download another with audio sound with it so that it will add more fun in it. But looks like my girl can't concentrate long on it as she tends to get distracted easily.
 
hi ladies,
My gal finally a Singaporean! Just like Yuli said can teach her how to sing Majulah Singapura haha. Next step her Singapore passport....
 
BlesswBB - congrats !!! Grt news to end this week.

Before you know it, you will be next iwantitvmuch
happy.gif


TGIF ! This is a long long week for me. Can't wait for wkend !
 
Congrats BlesswBB! That didn't take very long, did it?

It's my son's first birthday tomorrow, the whole family is so looking forward to it!

Hi, everyone.
 
Blesswbb, congratulations!!! Awesome feeling yah? End of the paperwork process!

My dd's passport is ready for collection as well as her BC extract but I havent' gone down to collect yet. Might bump into you there!

Rehdeer, 1st bday! Wow! Happy FIRST Birthday, little one!

Ladies who are intending to adopt a girl, please let me know if you would like some pre-loved clothes. I have just cleared my dd's 0-6mths clothes/socks/hats and would love to give it to anyone who is keen to take them.

Janella and Elle, I have kept some aside for you two so when you're ready, please let me know so that I can pass them to you.....then I will have space and can go and buy some more !!!! hahaha
 
iwantitvmuch,
Have u met up with the lawyers yet? If u had done so it will take less than 2mths to end the whole process.

Yuli,
Yes...end of paperwork...actually not really leh still got the baby bonus, her bank account and finally to buy insurance for her...then the paperwork process will end. Ya...maybe will bump into u...will be collecting her citizenship next Mon.
Hmmm....tot u adopting another 1...u not keeping it for ur next 1 meh?
Talking abt buying more clothings...i keep buying dresses for my girl after seeing yr girl with dress...bgt 2 dresses at very cheap price (less than $15) hehe...and still buying...OMG

rehdeer,
Wow...Happy 1st birthday! I'm waiting for that too.
 
Blesswbb, yah hor, still got some more paperwork to be done. I also havent' done all that you mentioned. sigh....

I have already kept aside some clothes for #2 if we decide to adopt. My friends gave me quite a lot of their babies' clothes (I'm one of the last few to have babies among my girlfriends - they all close shop liao) so I really have plenty to give away.

I also find myself shopping frequently for dd, leh. I need to STOP! but can't.... everything looks so cute/sweet. I just bot her two cheena ang gong gong outfits for CNY!!! Wah,so happy, after 12 years, this CNY I will finally not only be giving away angpows, but will be receiving some on my dd's behalf!!!
 
Yuli,
u so lucky...so many friends pass down their babies clothings...as i have 2 friends also have bb at the same timing as me so most of the clothings are passed to them. Futhermore, my dd are more of a low profile thing so no one knows until the 2nd week i brought her home then i start to announce it to my friends. So by then no more clothings for my dd. Anyway, my mum also quite pantang lor she said some babies are difficult to look after and naughty don wear their clothes as my dd will be like them.
haha...i bgt only 1 gongxi outfit as it can only weaar for cny. Ya lor very excited leh finally after so many years i also can collect on behalf of my dd...HAHAHA...especially now we ask her to gongxi to everyone she sees and she will do it...smart girl...haha
 
Thanks BlesswBB and yuli. We had a great party today, or rather yesterday. Will be posting pictures in FB soon.

If I had a girl, I would be shopping non-stop too! Whenever I go shopping for my son's clothes, I always see so many pretty and cute girl's dresses. How to resist them?!

BlesswBB, your girl is so smart, know how to gongxi already. We've been trying to teach our boy, but he's not picked it up yet.

Oh, at the birthday party, he walked 2-3 steps unassisted! I was so totally taken by surprise! I think he's going to start walking real soon, but not sure if that's good news or bad :D
 
Hi Rehdeer,

Boy also nice to dress up wat..if I have a boy next time I will dress him up jus like his daddy..hee hee hee ;)
 
rehdeer,
It can b gd and bad when they can walk. Once they start walking they become the destroyer. Everything at home that are breakable must be kept high. Have a feeling my gal will start walking at 10 mths. She already can walk & stand when put in the walker.
 
Die, actually my boy has many clothes too! He wore a little 3 piece suit on his birthday party, haha.

BlesswBB, your girl seems to develop fast! When we were at MyGym, there was a boy who was already walking at 10mths. My boy's still not walking yet, the few steps on his birthday isn't repeatable!
 
Yuli, I also want to have a second baby. Hope our timing can coincide again. The home study report will be a pain again.

BlesswBB, I met the lawyer in late Nov, I think. The affidavit should be submitted to the court in the last 2 weeks.

My baby is 19 weeks but haven't start turning yet. It must be so exciting to see your babies walking.

Rehdeer, what did you do for your boy's birthday?? stress anot??

I have something to share. I don't know why but sometimes, I'm a bit shy when I meet up with group of friends who haven't seen my baby. They know abt the adoption but haven't seen baby. Don't get me wrong but I know that they are happy for us but when I'm about to meet them, I feel abit conscious(or stress). Maybe because I know that once I leave the party or we dispersed, they will surely be talking about my adoption story. I might also imagine them thinking that I'm 'creating' my own family by adoption.
I rather meet up with people who don't know about the adoption or the closest friends. I feel weird with the group in between. I'm not sure if you all feel the same but I feel weird.
sad.gif
I figure out that I should be feeling better after they meet the baby a few more times.
 
Yeah quite stressful! But glad it's over now.

We booked a party room at Fidgets, thought it would be hassle free but end up still have to purchase own balloons to decorate. Then I rushed to complete my child's lifebook few days before the party, and worked until 2-3am! But it was worth it, as the lifebook was a hit among the guests.

Overall it was a successful party. My boy was so well-behaved during the party, it was as if he knew all eyes would be on him. He impressed many!

Regarding your concerns about meeting up with friends, and their talking behind your back, try not to worry about it. I'm very proud of my adopted child, and proud that I've adopted. And I'm happy that my child is cuter than theirs! haha... Don't care about what they say, you live for yourself, your family and your child, not for them.
 
iwantitvmuch,
ya i agreed with rehdeer. Try not to think what they going to say behind yr back. Whatever no heard don think. I'm also very proud to have adopted and yes my girl is much cuter and smarter than my friends' ...like what my hubby always says..not many pple can...God has appointed us to give those children who needs love and we fulfilling our duties...no many parents able to do that.
Have u tried giving yr girl on playmat? Has she try turning to her side? If she starts to turn to her sides she is going to turn soon...she must be exactly 4mths she will start to turn herself...so don worry
 
Blesswbb,
congrats on your girl citizenship! It must feel great that everything is falling into place. Enjoy the moment!

Yuli,
understand how you feel. Must be excited to give her as well her first red packet!

Rehdeer
my elder daughter walked when she was 13 months. So, don't worry. They all develop at their own pace and once they start walking, they would try to run and walk backwards. lots of worries then. Always need to run after them.

Iwantitvmuch
I think it takes time for us as parents to be fully ready on this topic but I guess we are learning thru the journey. And I agree that our kids are the best!

Blesswbb, I really like what your hubby said.
 
Thank you for the comments. I guess I must be more proud of my adoption.

Blesswbb, she's 19 weeks(more than 4 months). She does start to turn on the side but not turn totally. We put her down on the small mat while she plays w the toys. Maybe I should bring out the big mat now??
 
Hi Blesswbb,
congrats your girl citizenship... I still have a long way ahead.

Iwantitvmuch,
I also have the same feeling as you... Think we shld be proud mum tat our babies are cutier and pretty that others, haha... Agreed with Rehdeer, be happy and hack care of others, as long as you didn't hear what they say is ok.
It's journey we need to learn through...

My dd v naughty she trying to toss and turn when she's on the "salong".... got once she turned and her face got jammed there and she looked like robber, haha.. so cute, I shld have take picture of her...
When baby started to turn?
 
Hi everyone! Alamak, I wrote this long post and then my internet connection got disconnected and I lost everything I wrote - hmph.

iwantitvmuch, I found that my dd started turning more efficiently when I took out the big mat and placed her on it more frequently. Not sure if it was a coincidence or not tho....Before I put her on the mat, she was mainly in the playpen or on the bed and only doing half turns (just rolling from back to tummy on her left side) but after she was on the mat daily, she seemed to develop faster. maybe coincidence or maybe the space gave her the opportunity to explore and the 'hardness' of the floor/mat gave her support.

You know before I read what you posted, I had never thot abt what pp might be saying behind my back after I leave.........but now I am starting to wonder! hahaha. ACtually I have also something weird/silly to share: There have been occasions when pp who don't know abt dd's adoptive status have said in mandarin (direct translation here)"Wah, you sure know how to give birth ah. Give birth to such a cute baby!" I will just smile politely but inside I feel like a CHEAT! like as tho I'm an imposter cos I know I didn't give birth to this lovely little person.....I know it's silly but I get this feeling all the time
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I also wonder how dd will react if she hears these kinds of comments when she's a young child (3-6yrs old) and knows abt her status.

Dream - good to hear from you! Long time no see/hear you.

Blesswbb - no leh, haven't gone to collect yet. No time!

Iwantitvmuch - yah! it will be so cool if our timing coincided again with #2 (i still haven't quite decided abt #2 yet tho). If you adopt within 1yr of your HSR, it needs very little updating (only bank statement and salary update I think).

Just chking on the ages of our children here. Is this correct? Whom have I missed out?
Rehdeer - 12mths
babylove - 9mths
blesswbb - 7mths
yuli - 7mths
Dream - 5mths is it?
iwantitvmuch - 5mths
sweetclo - 4mths is it?

Sweetbaby/Elle/Janella - how have you been?
 
I think my boy started to turn around 4 months. It is amazing to see their development. And they can't stop surprising us! My bb has been drooling for the past month and last week, his 2 teeth came up! Was really surprised as my girl did not have any teeth until 13 months!

But once they turn, you will have to watch them closely as they can't turn back! My boy only rolls from one side and he can't turn back! So, always need to check on him at night. He is now 5 months. He is starting to show his character and will start screaming when he wants something.

Otherwise, I did quite a lot of tummy time with my boy to strengthen his neck muscle. I think that helps too.
 
Yuli
our messages crossed. Sorry, been quiet as can't have access to this forum from my office and nights are really busy. Busy with my daughter s homework every night!
 
Sweetcl05,
Bb should start to turn from 4.5mths. But at 4mth they will start to show as they tend to turn to their sides.

Dream,
Looks like yr boy teething the same time as my girl. And he's behaving the same during nite time. Like what babylove ever advise me, put more pillows or bolster beside him. It works on my girl. Since yr boy is now 5mths he will be learning to turn back soon.
Oh ya...is yr boy back in Sg?
 
Yuli,

I feel the same thing too. When stranger/friends say my dd very cute and advise us to try for another 1 since our genes for next generation are so pretty. I just smile at them and also feel like cheating on pple.

I remembered u r saying u haven done yr dd baby bonus yet rite? Did u ask for the form package from the officer when u applying for her extract? I have submitted on the spot hehe kiasu mummy.
 
wah Dream, your son got teeth already! My dd has been drooling for ....months but still boh geh (no teeth). Primary school no fun, huh?

Blesswbb, thanks for the suggestion. will ask for the forms and fill it up on the spot too.
 
Hi ladies

It has been a while. I'm so stressed actually. I still do not have internet connection at home cos' of some problems.

Anyway, we are trying to get a helper and I didn't know that first time employers have to sit for a course before employing one. So now I have to register for the course.

We are also meeting up with Alice this Saturday to have a discussion with her. I don't know whether I should tell her to start searching only after I've got a helper. I'm kind of feeling excited though!

I'm so happy to read about your babies. Iwantitvmuch, I'm attending the TAFNET meeting today. And don't worry too much about what people say behind your back. There will be a small group of people who will talk! As for me, I try my best not to let such talk bother me. It's hard though!

Ladies, I have to rant and rave! News of me adopting is going to send shock waves among my husband's relatives who still do not know that we are going to adopt. At the moment, they still think I'm doing ivf although they do not know what it is.

The other day my sis-in-law called me and told me about this great wonderful doctor in Malaysia who has helped women conceive. She then proceeded to tell me that her brother would like to come home and be greeted by his child and that I should hurry up and seek treatment.

You know, its funny how such women automatically assume that its the woman's fault that she can't conceive. If only my sis-in-law knew what I've gone through. I dare not tell her because she is so fatalistic.

I wanted to tell her that I've not been resting on my laurels and seeing only GPs and that I've seeked the help of eminent fertility specialists here to no avail. But I don't really care to tell her or most of my husband's relatives. You know, a few years back, when there was still no sign of any baby from us, one of my husband's relatives wondered where my husband had found me and why me. Boy, that time it really hurt! But I think I'm a bit stronger now and I try to cope somehow with such nasty remarks.

Sorry for rambling but I am so angry! Hello to all of you once again and I'll come back to this forum real soon.
 
Janella, good that u r letting out your steam here. I think you are v strong. Especially that u jus listen to your SIL and didn't even bother to defend. It's so frustrating when we go through infertility alone. I hope you are feeling better after letting out.

I've joined TAFNET! I can't attend the meeting today but am considering joining the small group.

Good luck with the course. DOn't worry, just sit through the course for the helper via internet. U don't have to go to a campus.
I got my helper after baby arrived for a week because I didn't want the helper to know as I wasn't sure if she will mistreat her if baby is adopted. Anyway, I think my helper knows about it b'cocs sometimes, i accidentally reveal to friends in front of her. But it's okay because she has bond with the baby now and she's very good with the baby. My help is quite experienced and very good with baby. I interviewed her because using her. Let me know if you want to go to my agent. You can interview them before saying yes. I've interviewed quite a few and they were all good.

Anyway, I had such a hard morning! I brought baby for her vaccination and for her heart checkup b'cos when we did the scan the time we received her, she had 2 tiny holes in the heart. So, the time has come for a follow up. I was worried b'cos baby sleeps straight through every night for abt 10 hrs. Recently, she can sleep to 12hrs. I was getting worried and thought the holes might have been worsen and that's why she's so tired and sleeps for so long.
Before the scan, baby has to be given this horrible sedative medication. She wailed and wailed and looked like she was going to choke. I could feel pple at the clinic looking at my poor baby. Then, I also teared quite a bit, looking at her suffer and holding her while the nurse pumped the medication. I was alone.
I think I have bond with baby already because when she went through the same time 4 months ago, I didn't cry yet. Now, I really feel so sorry for her. Test results is quite good the holes have closed up to only a small gap. The next review is when she turns 1 yr old. phew!
 
iwantitsomuch,

its gd to heat that the holes have closed..shld be completely gone when baby is older..i've heard of such cases b4 n all ended well..tink its quite common in babies..

the sedative medicine sounds horrid..poor baby n mummy..i tink u're rite when u say that u hav bonded with bb since u can really feel her pain as if its ur own pain..hope shes feeling better now n not too traumatized..
 
iwantitvmuch,

Don't worried the holes will heal when she gets older cos my cousin daughter also the same case.

Poor baby suffer so much.... I can understand your feeling, if I were there think i teared too... The bond to baby is very strong cos we loved her, and we don't want to see her suffer.
Hope she'll be fine
 
Iwantitvmuch,
I can understand how u feel. By reading how yr dd going thru the suffering make me heartache too. Imagine so young and she's going thru so much. When my dd had high fever the last time I already cried, imagine if she go thru what yr dd go thru I will definitely cry badly.
Might need u to intro yr income insurance agent as I need to buy my dd medical insurance. If u don mind.

Yuli,
Pls bring along a photo copies of yr bank ac statement, yr marriage cert and adoption order to submit the baby bonus application.
 
Iwantitvmuch, my heart goes out to you. It must have been traumatic for you to see your daughter suffer. I know I will be sobbing my heart out if I were in your shoes. I hope she will get better. Hugs!

And thank you for your understanding too! Yesterday, I was real mad but I'm feeling much better now.
 
Hi everyone,

I believe I have "seen" some of you in the IVF forum. ANyway, just a short introduction about myself. I am a 29 year old girl and hubby is turning 34 this year and we have been married for 6 years. After not being able to conceive after trying IVF twice ( we didnt even get a positive result) we are now considering adoption. When I called Lotus Agency, Alice was very nice, in fact she said she has a newborn baby from Malaysia waiting already. I was excited yet nervous. So fast??? I had only wanted to make enquiry about the cost. ANyway, she told me that I need a Home Study Report and asked me to call some number. A short question and answer with the person and she told me that it is not a good idea for me to start a HSR unless I have between 25k to 40k in my savings. I was stunned. That amount is large for both me and hubby. Just wondering,perhaps ladies who have completed the whole procedure can advice me. Is it true that we need to have that much savings to start a HSR?

As this is my first time, can anyone advise me the step by step procedure. Like where to go first. Who to contact? How much money I need to prepare etc.

I thank all ladies in advance for your kind attention to my queries.N to all mummies here... CONGRATULATIONS on your bundle of joy. I am praying I will have my own bundle of joy soon. My house has been too empty and quiet for a very very long time.
 
Dear Ros,

Welcome n hugs hugs. I was a sister fr the IVF forum too and I remember u. I attempted IVF due to repeated miscarriages dat were naturally conceived. However, IVF gave me the same result..a positive..then early miscarriage. This has happenned so many times in my 11 yrs of marriage that I have lost count n I had to do D&C 4 times. My hubby n I have given up the idea of a biological child and to spare ourselves (me especially) more pain n anguish, will consider child adoption in a year's (or two?) time. Why so long? Reason being financial status..as foreign child adoption thru agency costs abt 25k. We do have slightly more than that figure in savings but were actually saving it up for a business investment..so I only feel save to proceed if I have at least double that amt b4 proceed to child adoption. At least I can take a few months off work, get a helper n money won't be so tight.

The HSR report will scrutinize the couple's emotional and financial status therefore if child adoption were to cost abt 25k then it makes sense that they want to see at least that amt or more in our savings acc. They will also want to know abt the couple's insurance plans, jobs and salaries etc. We have to produce latest payslips, bank statements etc.

Check out Touch Community website where u can download the HSR forms and read thru to know wat to expect and documents we r required to produce. There is also step by step guide to child adoption, criteria and guidelines,etc.

Most of the ladies here have done foreign child adoption thru agency and it is the fastest and easiest way to have a bundle of joy . Some agencies like Lotus accept payment in a few installments eg. 15k upon receiving baby, 5k upon receiving dependents' pass 2 mths later, 5k upon receiving BC 6 mths later. Other ladies pls correct me if im wrong.

Dear Ros,
I know exactly wat u mean wen u say that ur hse has been too quiet and empty for v. long..
 
Ros, welcome to the thread!!
happy.gif
) sorry that u have gone through the infertility route. $25k is the usual agent fees, it seems. It includes legal fees. another option is local adoption but it's quite rare which might be lesser but no harm leaving your name with Touch or Lotus. The $25k is paid by instalment over a few months, as correctly mention by Die. Baby is with me for 4 mtgs and I still have $5k outstanding because legal works are not completed yet.
If you think about it, IVF is also quite expensive.
U might want to take some time to save up and attend the pre-adoption and disclosure workshps in the meantime. Also, stArt reading about early childhood parenting because adoption is defintely one way I will be parent soon!!

Stay with us!
 
Thank you die and iwantitverymuch for your explanation. n thank you for welcoming me into the thread. N thank you for understandng how I feel. It has not been the easiest 6 years. Going through all the injections and then having to face friends after friends get married and got pregnant. Sigh...

I guess the amount mentioned by Lotus is right then. Hmmm...

I will take on Iwantitverymuch advice. Save up for the time being. Read up on adoption and see where I can go from here. I was thinking more of local adoption actually but ALice said that it might take much much longer. I will continue to read this thread and try to garner as much strength from you ladies who have gone through the process and have come out a mother...
 
Hi Ros,
welcome to the thread and you are right, most of us were from the ivf thread. I found lots of support and understanding from the sisters here. I guess we all have gone thru tough times but somehow when I look back, I would not have it any other way as I would not have my little boy. Just wanted to share this with you and I hope we will be able to support you thru your journey.

Elle,
how are you? Hope your little bundle is coming soon.

Janella
how was your meeting with alice?
 
Have u all notice that's haze?? My baby's eyes are a bit testy whenever she's out. Wonder if u allh have the same problem.

Today I brought baby to baby spa at LPlaza Sing. It's very fun and baby had a good workout. She even had a massage. She was so tired thereafter. The lady felt a lump at her tight where baby had a vaccination. She told me to use warm water to dap it so that the swelling will improve. If you all bring baby for vaccination, do be aware to check if the vaccine is dissolve properly. If not, do the same to dap the wound with hot water.

Baby hasn't had good appetite after the 6-in-1 jab. Do your babies experience the same side effect?
 
iwantitvmuch,
Ya it is true...always check whether the vaccine is dissolve properly...what i do is after the jab i will dap warm towel on her thigh...she will feel more comfortable too. When was the vaccination given? My girl will take abt 5-6days to have her appetite back. Her lost of appetite is due to her fever and the panadol she took will also make her lost appetite. But don worry she will be back to herself again.
 

Ladies,
recently my dd not sure y, we've just increase her milk to 4oz but since monday she sometimes drank 3oz / 2.5oz stopped and she struggle v hard...
Does your dd also encounter the same problem?

Blesswbb, last x your dd also don't want to drink milk, how u manage to let her drink?

I've just fed her and she only drank 2.5oz and later she vomitted alot (abt 1oz).. ah yoi, I'm so worried.
 
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