Child Adoption

[dream09]

Kit_mum 2 b,
I guess every family is different and it really depends on how conservative/open/modern your family is. On my side, my parents were actually very happy for us and they really feel that it was a great idea. So, I have their full support and my family fell in love with my bb the moment they saw his picture. Somehow, my mum is very attached to my boy although she has 6 other grand children so it really makes no difference to her. I just can't believe that he is with us when I see him. He is truly our miracle. I hope your family will accept your choice but if they don't, it is your life!

 

[confuse]

yuli,
ya...my dd stool is like grainy type. Hey..u good at describing bb stools leh...i cant even think of anything that look like it...u're really great at it...haha
Oh ic...i think she's teething soon as she tends to bite on anything that comes near. We giving her the teething toy to bite on and she get frustrated when the whole thing can go into her mouth haha...

Dream,
my dd tend to pai sai at least twice a day. The color is now yellow instead of greenish in the earlier stage.
No, my dd doesnt hv this problem. Her BCG look redish any normal.

Kit_mum2b,
Think u wont b able to view our babies photos unless u r one of our member in Our Miracles.

 

[dream09]

Blesswbb,
Don't know how Yuli can find so many words to describe bb stool!

My boy only poos once a day or once every 2 days but texture seems ok, although today was dark green (compared to the usual yellow). I wonder why their poo colour change although they are drinking the same milk everyday!

Good to hear your girl BCG is ok. Any scar?

Good luck for your interview. Let us know how it went. Just be yourself, ok

 

[babylove80]

Hi Ladies,
It's so nice to hear so many good news. Just brightens up my day.

Elle,
I am so happy that your interview is next week. you must be so nervous. Big hug...

Blesswbb,
Good luck for your home interview

Dream & Yuli,
Talking about solids, I am planning to start him on solids soon when he turns 5 months. I managed to find organic rice cereal, because I don't want to introduce any other flavours to him just yet. The other types of cereals in the market has so many other ingredients added to it. Let me know when you are ready to intro and I will let you know the brand.

Janella,
So much going on in your life. You are studying plus moving house. Are you Singaporean? You must be a busy bee

. When do you graduate?

TGIF!!!

 

[confuse]

Ladies,
Finally the home interview is over. The SW really good din stress us much on questions. My dd behave very well too...she smile to him when he talks to her.

Dream,
Her BCG just a red dot on her left arm. Think still recovering.
According to PD, the color of the stools is bcos of their digestion. If its digest well the color will be yellowish if not will be greenish.

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Hi,
I just returned from medical checks with baby. baby is fine. she has 2 small small holes in her heart but doc said it's normal with baby. As only adopted babies go for such heart scans, he sees it in many babies who are adopted. so, he said it's normal. Hopefully, the holes will close up soon. Blood test will be out on monday and we'll collect it on Tuesday morning and will bring the baby home on Tuesday morning too.

sorry, i'm so busy and couldn't reply to all your queries above.

baby love, Touch always try to finish the HSR in 2 months.

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi ladies,
I'm busy shifting office and din't come to read this thread... wow.. lots of gds news coming up!!!

Another goods new, hehe... touch also contacted us, early nov is our office interview too!!!

I'm so happy, hopefully Dec we can get baby in our arms....

Iwantitvmuch, congrats! You can bring your baby home after the home interview? or you've got your HSR? Don't worried abt the small holes, my cousin's daughter also have it and recovered.. Dr mentioned it'll heal...

Elle, congrats... i'm so excited for you too.. i'm also getting nervous when i saw touch's mail, haha....

Yuli, Congrats! You've graduated frm the test, hehe....blesswbb you'll be the next one!

babylove, janella - think touch will contact you soon...

 

[ellelim]

Sweetcl05 - yes, this is wonderful news ! you are next for the office interview hehe..i know what u mean..excited and nervous ya. Hugs

babylove, janella - you both will be next too...

We will all graduate soon to mummy.

iwantitvmuch - no worries about the hole, one of my friend also mentioned her baby has a small hole during the medical checkup but she mentioned 6 mths later, the hole will close. It is normal. You will bring the baby home on tues, you will be getting busy ya so happy for you.

happy weekend everyone

 

[janella]

Babylove, yup I'm Singaporean. I graduate only in June next year. I hope the baby comes before that. Somehow I'll manage just like all the super mums here. Looks like its just the two of us now waiting for the interview. Hope you'll be next!

SweetC105, congrats! You must be so excited now! All the best to you!

Iwantitvmuch, don't worry! Your baby will be fine! You must be so busy preparing your house for your baby's arrival.

 

[dream09]

Blesswbb,
Great to hear everything went well! You must have had a great week end. Thanks for the info on stool. I guess bbs have their days too...my boy's pimple on the arm (BCG) is better now. It took about 3-4 days to "deflate".

Babylove,
Thanks for advice. I would most likely only start him on solid food at 6 months. But I am interested to know what cereal it is and where I can find it...kiasu mummy!

Hope you are next to share good news with us!

SweetCl05,
Great news! really happy for you.

Iwantitvmuch,
Great to hear about your updates and crossing fingers that everything is ok. I am sure you can't wait to have bb with you.

Janella,
I guess you are the youngest here!

Yuli,
Had a good week end?

As for me, went to KL over the week end to attend a wedding. Left my boy at home with my mum and helper. Felt guilty but really enjoyed my sleep on Saturday night! Anyway, did a lot of shopping there and only bought things for him!

 

[babylove80]

Good Morning Ladies

. Hope you had a good weekend. Looking at all the good news, I think by Dec, we should arrange a meeting.

Iwantitverymuch,
you must be so excited about your little girl coming home. Dun worry about the tiny hole, as it will close up by the time she reaches 6 months. I saw Dr Yip too for my bb's checkup. Did you do the full scan?

Elle & SweetClo,
Good luck for the interviews. I was happy to hear that the SW called you. At least you are a step closer to being a mum.

Dream,
No la...I don't think mothers can be 'kiasu'. It's just in our nature to prepare ahead. I bought this cereal when he was coming towards the end of his third month, so that makes me even more kiasu. I went to this organic shop in the basement of Great World City. The brand of the cereal is 'Only'. There were another one that was iron fortified, but because my bb is drinking infant formula, there is no need, as there is already iron in it. I 'pity' my little one, as I plan not to give him any sweets etc for the next few years. But I can imagine the grandparents spoling him. Sighz...

Since he came into my life, I have not shopped for myself. I will plan to go get something, but will always end up at the kid section. I think that Malaysia have more varieties of clothing, and of good quality plus they are not so thick so bb is comfortable. I have bought clothes here, but the material is very warm.

Janella,
I am still 'chasing' one of my referees. He just got his on Friday, as there were some probs with the address. It's just the two of us now. I hope you get called up at the same time. It will be great if we are going through this together.

Blesswbb & Yuli,
how's your babies? Anything new up their sleeves?

 

[yuli]

Hi everyone! wow, great to read more good news! Happy happy for Elle & Sweetclo!

iwantitvmuch, Glad to hear the medical went well. Blood test results today right? Baby home with you tomorrow! Remember to take loads of photos! It's her homecoming!

Blesswbb, glad to hear your interview went well! I just smsed Alice today to ask when she thinks my application will be complete, ie passport, bc, citizenship all done.

Dream, guess where I am now? In KL! haha. Arrived here last night. Bb is with my mum. My husband is based here several days a week so I came to check out his place and see what we need to get ready for bb when she can start to travel. I'm gonna hit the stores soon to stock up on bb clothes! She has more than enough already but I can't resist buying more! I also haven't shopped for myself in 3 mths.......I also haven't carried a handbag in 3 mths! I'm always carrying a backpack with her bb stuff!

like you, I had a good night's rest last night - feel a bit guilty that I get to sleep well while my mum has to look after bb

I go back tomorrow.

Babylove, hope you had a great weekend with your boy

I'm gonna try and post some pics on FB. Have a great week ladies.

 

[dream09]

Yuli,
Small world, right! Anyway, I was at Megamall and shopped at Jusco and FOS. FOS has a big section for kids. All branded clothes but at discount price! I managed to find Polo Ralph Laurent shirt there

Otherwise, I also bought some milk there (I think not enought though!)...I think it is about SGD10 cheaper per pack there for Mamil. Not sure about Similac. So, if you have some space, can buy some milk back. I would think the quality is the same. Enjoy the shopping! and the good night rest! and of course, enjoy the food. It seems they have lots of more varieties there!

Babylove,
Let me know whether your boy likes the cereal and thanks for the address. My hubby is also very strict on sweets with my daughter but once she started preschool, it is hard to control!

Otherwise, which place would you recommend in JB for shopping? Actually, I am very scared to go JB but I really enjoyed my shopping trip in KL...

Same here, haven't bought anything for myself since he is home with us. Somehow, our priorities change!

 

[yuli]

Hi Dream, was just about to leave for Megamall when I read your post so I went straight to FOS when I arrived at megamall, hahaha.

I just got back from shopping! I got her a polo ralph laurent dress! I also bought her some hairbands but later regretted the purchase cos I found a shop selling for cheaper! sigh.....I m hoping the hairband will make her look more like a girl. All of you can see from the pics that her hair has gotten less and less and less as the weeks go by

Oh yah, Mamypoko is cheap there. Bot from Jusco. About 5cents cheaper per piece which works out to quite a bit. Similac was cheaper by SGD 14! BUT the can said made in Singapore whilst the one that I buy in Spore says it's made/from Ireland. I will call Abbott when I get back to Spore to ask if the contents are the same. If it is, my husband will be a very busy courier every week!

Babylove, thanks for sharing the rice cereal. Going onto solids will probably be quite exciting, yah? My husband is very excited about the prospect of dd starting solids. He is keen to prepare stuff for her. I did warn him that I read that some bb may not actually enjoy their first taste of solids cos diferent texture, different taste etc but they'll get used to it.

Iwantitvmuch, am thinking of you as you bring your daughter home tomorrow! Congrats!

 

[confuse]

iwantitvmuch,
Happy for u that bb going home this Tmr. Don worry abt the hole it will close up after awhile. U must be busy shopping for bb things ya?
Have a early sleep today if not u wont have a chance when bb back

Dream,
Good to hear that yr boy BCG is ok.
Wow...u and yuli enjoy shopping at KL huh? How i wish i can travel...

Babylove,
My girl learning to laugh loudly now. She sound very cute (thick skin to say own girl cute )

 

[iwantitvmuch]

I'm so bz clearing my work!!
YES! Baby clears blood tests! But still need another jab of Hepatitis and we will go to the clinic early morning and fetch baby home thereafter. Yes, I'm very very very EXCITED and lot of people are so excited for us. Words cannot describe!!

Babylove, we did the full scans. just for preparedness sake.

Yuli, baby is sooooo cuteeeeee. and you look so blissful!! Let's plan a date and meet up !!!

BlesswBB, I've not been buying alot. We went shopping for basic necessities and friends have been giving us clothes and all. And with the clothings you gave, we have enough.

 

[nic_dol]

Hi ladies,

it's been a while since I came by. Was busy cos preparing to shift over to Surabaya with hubby soon.

Having a delimma now need all of u's advise, my fren recommend a s'pore adoption to me. Mom's a bargirl, has a 4 year old normal healthy boy currently staying with a fren and another younger girl (autistic) giving it up to government. Now having 3rd bb boy due in dec. I am thinking whether to adopt or not cos of her background and worried abt bb's health.

Currently, my mom, younger sis and hubby is against the idea. Only my elder sis and 1 other sister are supportive of it. Pls advise!!!!

 

[dream09]

Yuli,
Such a small world! so many malls in KL but you also went to Megamall! It is a really huge mall. Glad you found a pretty RL dress for your daughter! For the milk, there is really a huge difference. I wished I bought more milk...the savings is quite a lot. As you read this, you must be home and must be so glad to see your daughter. Somehow, one day seems an eternity!
Is your hubby appartment/house near Megamall? My Brother in law stays very near by and that's why we always go there when we are in KL.

BTW, love your pictures. Your bb girl is really very pretty.

Blesswbb,
I remembered you went to KL when your bb just came, right! and you missed her so much. I guess it is time for another trip!

Update your blog with bb laughter so that we can all enjoy!

Iwantitvmuch,
Today is your DAY! Glad everything is settled and bb can be home today. You are right, no need to buy too much clothes. BB grows very fast.

Welcome to Motherhood! and yes, we should definitely meet up!

Ladies, Let's plan a date!

 

[dream09]

Nicole,
That's a tough decision! Sometimes, knowing too much about the kids background makes it more difficult. But we all know that only natural parents with financial problems or other worries would give away their children for a better life. So, no matter what, remember that the child is innocent. If you worry about the health of the bb, you can first ask the mother to do BT to check for the major diseases. If she is ok, bb should be fine. When bb is born, you can also go for more scans if you worry about bb development. As for autism, I don't think there is anyway to find out about it. I think there are still studies to find out whether it is genetic or not.

 

[nic_dol]

Hi Dream,

thx for ur advise, really appreciate it! U r rite abt knowing too much abt the bb's background. But r u aware that there is a type of bloodtest that the birth mother can go for to check whether b is healthy or normal or not. Something like the testing of the amniotic fluid? But this is bloodtest.

 

[dream09]

Nicole,
I would believe that you can ask the birth mother to do a BT to check for Hepatitis B, Aids and many other illnesses (that can be detected through BT). Usually, adoptive parents will request for the bb to go through BT to check for such illness (as we have no access to the birth parents). I believe the first BT results should already give you an idea on the future health of the bb. Otherwise, it would be good if you could obtain some medical reports from her gynae to confirm everything is normal. My other concern would be to try to find out whether she stopped drinking when she found out she was pregnant.

 

[dream09]

Nicole,
I reread my last post and suddenly realised that I also do not know how the birthmother took care of herself while she was pregnant with my boy. So, I believe your case is similar to most of our cases except that you have more information on hand.

Sisters, any other advice to Nicole?

 

[janella]

Dream, er, I'm truly embarrassed, I'm not the youngest, I'm definitely the oldest here. I'm past 39!!!

Nicole, I agree with Dream. That's a tough decision you have there! I think the test you are talking about is called amniocentosis. Hope I got the spelling right! But I think this test is to check for Downs Syndrome and maybe other abnormalities. I don't know whether its too late for the mother to do it now. There is also a very detailed scan that the mother can do. Check this out as well.

Like Dream has mentioned, ensure that the baby goes through all the scans and check ups. Whatever decision you make, if people make judgments, don't let them affect you.

My husband and I hope to adopt a healthy and normal child. If something crops up along the way, we will deal with it. Good luck!

Babylove, my referees have handed in their reports. Now we both wait!

 

[dream09]

Janella,
Oups, sorry...not the youngest but definitely the most courageous/hard working...i don't think I will have the energy to study again. I am 38 now..so very close to you..don't worry...only thinking on when I could be a SAHM!

Agree with you that once bb is in our arms, we will deal with whatever challenge comes along as we have already felt in love with our bb. Once bb is with us, the worry never stops!

Hope you and Babylove hear from Touch very soon.

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Hello! Baby is settling well. She drinks her milk, poo and sleep. I think Alice looks like she would miss my daughter. I miss Alice too. She's SOOOO sweet and nice . I'm so grateful for her.
My hubby is having alot of fun with baby and having a nap with her. He didn't want to drive home just now because he wants to crying baby.
For me, I'm very happy. Work cropped up in the middle of the day but good that it turns out well. Thank God. Prayers work.
i work up early to prepare for milk and my baby bag because we were going to Touch to collect the HSR report. The mother's instinct really kicks in. My hubby was leaving the house empty handed and forgotten about the infant seat. and left everything to me! he forgotten that he was going to be a father.
Girls, I'm very happy and contented. I'm especially grateful to the BlesswBB, Yuli, Dream, babylove and Shasha who provided so many testimonies which encourage me every step of the way. Also to those who are mother-to-be(Die, Sweetcl05 and esp elle, janella whom I met personally), your questions make me realised that I'm not the only worrisome one.
I'm so glad I found this thread. It's amazing how we connect.

 

[dream09]

iwantitvmuch,
Really nice to read your post and to know that both you and hubby have GRADUATED to mummy and daddy! Congrats again! Sometimes, it is unbelievable to think how our bbs have changed our life. Now that your daughter is home with you, I am sure you can't imagine life without her and everything is falling into place so nicely. I am also very grateful to Alice as my life has really changed with my boy!

Thanks for your nice words and I also feel that this thread is providing me lots of comfort. I really hope we can meet very soon.

 

[confuse]

iwantitvmuch,
Congrats...finally bb home!! Enjoy motherhood during yr leave. U have 2mths of adoption leave rite? U will hv lots of time to bond with her cherish the time

Dream,
Wanted to travel but cant bring bb to Malaysia as advise by Alice against it. I wanted to leave my girl to my mum but donno y like very pai sei. Especially bb growing fast with her weight gain my mum cant carry too much of her (my mum got weak back). I try to upload 1 of her laughing video clip in Facebook.

 

[confuse]

Yuli,
Yr girl Soooooo Cute....i love her smile. Must meet up so that i can hug yr girl girl...

 

[confuse]

babylove,
Just curious....y din u bring yr boy back to Singapore so that u can be close to him? U can arrange him to stay here under visiting pass of 1mth. Just kapoh abit

 

[dream09]

Blesswbb,
I guess all parents have this guilt feeling. We also had a hard time to leave him at home with my mum and the whole week before that week end, we were asking ourselves whether to go or not. We only made up our mind on Friday when we saw he was ok. I also felt bad to leave my mum alone but she is the one who encourages us to go as she said that it is important to attend wedding. So, your feeling is normal! May be should just go to JB for day trip but then a bit scared of going JB!

Otherwise, how is everybody?

 

[yuli]

Hi everyone!

Wah, i didn't log in for just 1 day and so many posts!

Iwantitvmuch, congrats again! So happy t hear baby is settling so well and hb and you are so happy/contented. Hope your dd slept well last night. Look forward to more pics on FB.

I agree that this forum has been a great source of comfort and knowledge sharing! When I first joined this forum, there was just Shasha and Blesswbb who had "graduated"

Yes, let's organise a mtg for Dec. Say early Dec? Anyone got suggestion of a place? I guess we need to find a place that can accomodate many strollers! and must have changing rooms?

Blesswbb, yah, felt guilty being away esp when I managed to catch up on my sleep! While I was away, my dd decided to sleep from 10pm to 4am which was fantastic! but stayed up from 4am to 7am! Talking to herself and talking to her toys....not so fantastic!

Talking about laughing out loud, when my dd first laughed out loud, I thot she was about to cry then I looked at her properly (she was over my shoulder looking at my mum) and realised it was her first laugh. So funny. I still think it sounds more like a cry than a laugh.

Do you mummies have this problem? My dd sometimes likes to fight sleep esp when we're out. She gets distracted by things around her then after a while she realises she's exhausted and finds it difficult to sleep then gets really cranky and frustrated. The other day she cried then screamed so badly, we had to take her out of Crystal Jade (before the other patrons throw dagger eyes at us!). She was really bawling with tears and all. I was trying to rock/sway to pacify her to no avail then I just held her really tightly and just went "shhh.......shhh...."very calmly near her ear (like you're shushing someone to keep quiet) and within seconds, she calmed down and fell asleep! Then just ytd, I chanced upon this youtube site that this mum shared about how she calmed her crying bb within 15 sec.....she turned on the hairdryer! I did read somewhere that some babies like white noise eg: the sound of the hair dryer, the drone from the vaccumm cleaner etc, maybe that's why going "shh....shh...." helped calm my dd? I dunno if it was pure coincidence. I try again next time and then tell you!

Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANgLcpO6tiI

 

[confuse]

dream,
thinking abt a short escape...i did mention short trip to Bintan to my hubby...maybe will consider going for a 1 day trip.

Will see how things goes still feel guilty asking my mum to look after.

yuli,
I think yr dd missed u dat's y she cant sleep. After knowing mummy wont be coming back she got know choice...haha.
i encountered the same problem as u. Recently we brought her out for dinner and shopping...she can be wide awake the whole nite but when i try to make her sleep she start to scream. Only when i try hum song to her she calm down and slowly fall asleep. I think they get distracted easily especially they know what is outing now.

 

[janella]

Dream, no worries! I know what you mean when you say you have no energy to study again. Sometimes, I too feel like giving up. I quit teaching 5 years ago to concentrate on all the ivf treatments and so decided to hit the books again to keep myself occupied.

Iwantitvmuch, I almost teared when I read your post. It is heartening to know that you are so happy. At first, I was worried when you mentioned earlier that when you first saw your baby, you didn't fall in love with her. I was like, oh no, is this how it is going to be like for me too? What if I never get attached to my baby? What you said now has really reassured me!

 

[dream09]

Yuli,
Nice to have you back! Seems like both of us really enjoyed our shopping in KL!

Yes, let's do a gathering in December. But I really have no idea either where to meet! My bb has not gone out yet except for doctor's visit! So, don't know the baby friendly place!

Blesswbb,
Any idea where to meet since it seems you are the one that goes out the most!

Will be nice to take a short holidays with your hubby. I guess you need a break as it can be quite tiring/stressful to take care of bb 24 hrs a day!

Janella,
It is great that you were a teacher! will be able to coach your kid!

Iwantitvmuch,
How are you coping?

Babylove,
How are you? Still very busy at work?

Elle
Getting ready for your interview? Best of luck for tomorrow.

Sweetcl05
Counting down the days with you!

 

[confuse]

elle,
Good luck on yr interview tmr.

dream,
To have many strollers at one place is a headache. Unless we arrange at someone house for pot luck party.

 

[confuse]

iwantitvmuch,
Hope u coping well with yr girl

 

[sweetcl05]

Iwantitvmuch,
Congrats again... really envy you, hope i can catch up soon, hehe.... can felt your excitement and joy !!

Elle,
All the best for your interview!
I'm getting more and more nervous, I need to quickly memorize all the sentences I wrote in the applications form incase I missed out something, haha... i'm so "Kaisu"
Pls keep me update how's your interview.
Wow... you'll be the next graduate mummy soon....

Yuli,
haha.. i can imagine with all the strollers parked outside the restn...People will be guessing what special occasions? ... baby's show/contest...

blesswbb's ideas is also great. Can i join if till dec I still have not graduate? It will be a good lesson that I can get alot of tips frm all the graduate mummies around. I'm looking forward to our outing... hurray!!!

 

[dream09]

Sweetcl05
Of course, can join! no need to ask! And hope you would have graduated by then!

Blesswbb, Yuli and Babylove,
My bb has been sleeping better but then, he would wake up almost everyday around 3 to 4 am and then wakes up every hour until 6:40 when I bring him out...he would cry for milk but only drinks one or two ounces. Then, I will try to force him to drink more but impossible! He would just sleep and refuse to drink anymore. Any suggestion? I usually put him to bed at 8pm, so he would already have slept 7-8 hrs (of course, he would wake up in between 2 or 3 times but that's still manageable). Have you experienced this? Please help..really getting exhausted...

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Janella, when you first meet the baby, keep an open mind. If you are unsure, visit her the second time. It's very easy to fall in love with an adorable baby definitely. My baby doesn't have big round eyes and maybe that's why I couldn't fall in love at the first sight. But God really taught me alot in this process. In the end,I decided that I want any baby God gives me and will love her regardless of what.
Don't worry if you don't feel the connection the first time. Sometimes, it takes time. We are all not the same. Remember that we all want to provide the baby a home and love. Having said that, don't be obliged to say yes to the first baby at all. We still want to be sure that we can love the baby for the rest of her/his life and no one should act on impulse.

You might want to hold off telling the forum that you are viewing the baby until you identified one. Because that might be unnecessary stress with having to tell us that you want or can't decide on the baby. If you cannot decide on the baby, you might worry that you will be risked being judged(even though we WON"T judge you) or might have some worries along that line.
I hope I said it right and it's my own opinion. If i didn't say it right, hope that you all will forgive me.

On how I'm coping, I'm so tired! It's really no joke and infertility has definitely prepared me for the challenges. I'm glad that baby is drinking well(4 oz), like at Alice's. So, that's a consolation. Alice bought the tits for '3mth' for the milk bottle and baby is drinking quicker. There's more spillage than the tits I bought for '1 mth' but baby got used to it and now, has less spillage. Mothers, you might want to consider using bigger tits for the milk bottle. I bought Nan1 HA instead of Nan1 Pro. She did drink some of the Nan1 Pro already. I hope she's fine with Nan1HA too. wonder if she can tell the difference between the two.

Her nose is abit stuffy at night so last night, we didn't switch on the aircon. I'm not sure if I shld bring her to the doctor. How?? She generally sleeps well if I let her lie on the side. She has a bit of cough too.

Yesterday, my 2 girlfriends came over and gave me alot of 'assvics'(ass + advice). It was abit irritating as they were unknowningly telling me how incompetence I am. They didn't say that at all or implied. just that they kept telling me what to do and what I'm not doing correctly.
if i needed help, i would have asked or ask you all here, like what I've been doing.

 

[janella]

Iwantitvmuch, thank you so much for the advice. I definitely agree with you. I don't mind saying this, but I'm so afraid that I would have to reject a baby for whatever reason. I pray that I never have to do this. I'm also very afraid of being judged although I know that you ladies won't judge me.I'm afraid of others!

You've put things in perspective for me! Thanks once again!

Oh, its so nice to know that you are enjoying motherhood. I can understand how irritating it must have been to listen to unwanted advice from friends. When I was living with my in-laws, I was always told like a little child what I was doing right and wrong! So I can imagine what will happen when a baby comes along!

 

[babylove80]

Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all well. I have been following the posts, and apologise if I have not replied. It's been a busy few weeks, and I have been having a few lows.

Iwantitverymuch,
I hate it when people do that. I got that from my family mostly, and especially from the nanny who is looking after my boy. So I can totally understand how you must be feeling. Just because we haven't had our own, it does not mean that we don't know how to look after them. And Motherhood is a journey of learning and we do everyday. I really admire your patience. Just throw whatever negative feelings out of the door and focus on this precious little one. Not to worry, we are here for you.

Dream,
regarding sleep, my bb used to wake every 1-2hrs for a feed. It was really tiring, and I waiting till he was about 2 mths plus before getting a cloth cradle. That worked miracles. Of course, I did wake to feed him at night

. If you plan to, get the one from Kiddy Palace and go for netted cloth. I can understand how exhausting it is, but after three months, they more or less settle into a routine. The other thing that made hims sleep was wrapping him in a comforter, so it was like a little cocoon, and he would sleep throughout. As I said, Motherhood is a learning journey, and this idea just came to me one day when I was trying to put him to sleep. I hope that this helps a little.

Blesswbb,
I wish I could bring him back to be with us, but I can't whilst waiting for the hsr. I was tickled by your little one's video. She is just gorgeous.

Elle, Sweeclo,
Do keep us updated on your interviews and good luck for them.

 

[yuli]

iwantitvmuch, good to hear from you! I want to applaud u on what you wrote - you shared honestly and wrote yr thoughts well. Janella, I also did NOT fall in love with my dd at first sight. I told myself to be cautious and visit with an open mind cos I didn't want to be crushed if the birth mum changed her mind or there were problems and she cannot be adopted etc or I just could not connect with her,etc etc.

What we did in preparation was pray for peace of mind. I remember reading a post from a sister from this forum called Catyeo (u can chk the archives) where she said all she was concerned when she visited her bb was that bb had 2 eyes, 2 ears, a nose and a mouth, handsome or not didn't bother her cos she didn't want to be 'baby shopping'. What she said really struck me so when we met our dd the 1st time, we checked for her 10toes/fingers, Alice opened her diaper and showed us she's a girl (she really did that - so funny) and when my hb carried bb, she didn't cry (he had nvr carried a bb before our dd)......we then decided she was the one for us!

iwantitvmuch - wow! I only changed my dd to teats meant for 3 mth olds! She wasn't complaining when she was using the teats for 2 mth olds so I didn't change but since shes approaching 4 mths, I thot i"ll change. Yr dd is very advanced for her age

Did Alice give you something for her nose. Alice gave me this nose drop thing that you can use for stuffy nose. I can't remember the name now - starts with letter I. Maybe Dream can advise you.

Dream! I totally understand what you are going through cos my dd was like that and still is on some early mornings. Sleep till 4am then sometimes falls asleep, sometimes she wil just talk/laugh to herself until she falls asleep again. On bad days, she will want to be carried till she falls asleep. She struggles with some feeds too. Sometimes drinks 5oz, sometimes just 1.5oz. It's a phase.

Blesswbb, I enjoyed the video of your dd laughing........i like her hair! hahaha. Now that you have seen my dd's lack of hair, you understand why I always like your daughter's hair, right?! Thankfully, her hair (after shedding all the baby hair) is growing back again....slowly....

Babylove, happy 5th mth to your boy! Good to read that he enjoyed his first taste of cereal! Which one did you feed him? Mix with FM and feed from a bottle is it? Do you have to cut a slit in the teat to allow the cereal to flow thru OR are they special teats for cereal/milk mixes?

 

[babylove80]

Janella,
thanks for being honest and I am glad we can share our true feelings here. Sometimes we just need to say it out. I agree with Iwantitverymuch. All of us have our own experience but most importantly you must feel connected to the baby.

Yuli,
I fed him with a spoon

and it was only a small amount of cereal mixed with FM. I fed him his formula first, but did not force him to finish it. Then I fed him cereal. It was quite a messy affair, and I i wished I had my camera. Here is a link for everyone's reference.http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/week-23/starting-solids.aspx?xid=nl_YourDailyNewsletterfromWhattoExpect
I started him now, as he is just 5 months, and it is just the right time.

 

[janella]

Thank you Yuli for being frank and open. And thanks once again to iwantitivmuch for being so, as well. I am kind of reassured.

Babylove, I'm so glad too that we have this forum where we can be open without being judged. When I first met Alice, she mentioned that there should be chemistry between the parents and baby. So yes, I agree that we must feel connected to the baby.

 

[yuli]

Babylove, thanks for sharing the link. How fun - first feeding with a spoon! Milestone! A friend once told me she laid out a shower curtain on the floor then put the high chair on it then fed her dd - that way, all the messy bits will land on a very easily washable/wipeable surface! I got 2 dogs so I'm sure they will be very very happy when my dd starts on solids!

re: meeting up. Blesswbb suggested going to someone's home - you know what? I know of one very baby friendly place - we should all go to Alice's place! hahahaha.

Seriously tho, if we meet up at tea time on a weekday then most cafes should be quite empty? We cld meet at Vivo for example at Pacific Coffee or Haggen daaz. But most of us here work so I guess maybe Sat or Sun tea time might have less people around?

 

[dream09]

Hi Ladies,

So nice to see so many postings!

Iwantitvmuch,
Understand how you feel and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think this is definitely one of the most stressful part of the adoption journey. the fear of not being able to connect with bb.

As for your friend's nasty comments, babylove is right, just ignore them and concentrate on your little bundle of joy.

As for the tits, Alice also gave me a 3 month tit as she felt that he had a hard time to drink his milk but when I tried, he almost choked as the milk flow was too fast! he was 1 month old then.

As for the stuffy nose, my boy has been having this pb since his birth. You can buy Sterimar from Guardian (or Watson). It is a saline solution that helps to clear mucus. It can be used for infant but it is a bit hard to use. you need to put the spray in her nasal and press on the spray. you would need your hubby to help you hold her head. The other thing that Blesswbb recommended to me was to use Ilidian 0.01% (infant). This is a congestant but can only be used for 1 week. Before giving this to your girl, it is better if you check with Alice whether she has already been given this to her. I have also bought a humidifier and switch on the air cleaner at night. I think my boy has sensitive nose. Do you think she has phlegm? does she have a hard time to breath at night?

If she starts to cough, it is better to see Dr as it could be a cold. But otherwise, my boy coughs when he swallows too fast. Just observe her and check also whether she has fever.

It is really stressful when we don't know what to do to make them feel better. At one point in time, he even had to sleep on his rocking chair because he could not breath well if he was lying down. May be you can try that as well.

Babylove,
nice to hear from you. contrary to you, I am not busy at office! that's why you can see my posts non stop!

Thanks for advice. i am already using a comforter and the bean pillow at night. What is this cloth cradle you mention? i try to google but can't find it.

Glad to read your bb enjoyed his cereal. your boy 5 months already! did you buy a bumbo seat? did he start crawling?

Yuli,
I remembered that post. When I was waiting for my boy, i kept on reading last posts to cheer me up. I also remembered I was really afraid that I will have no bonding with bb and kept asking questions! And both you and Blesswbb really gave me lots of support during that time. Thanks again to you and Blesswbb!

Good to hear my boy is not unique for his night feed. I hope he outgrows this stage quickly...

Yep, may be we could ask Alice! Great idea! ha ha ha..otherwise, I will be taking some leave in December so I could meet you on weekdays...but then, no hubby...which could be good as well..but then, no transport! can't have everything, right!

Janella,
Seems like each of us has different experience and I am sure you will find what is best for you.

Blesswbb,
Seems like I need to check FB for your new updates or your blog. My daughter was watching the video where you keep playing with her pacifier and she asked me to tell you not to do that! She was really concerned about your daughter as she was grumbling everytime you took the pacifier away...

 

[iwantitvmuch]

So many babies, it's more convenient to go to somebody's place. I can open up my place at Marine Parade. My living and dining should be able to accomodate us. Or else, we can have dim sum at some place and ask for a private room.
We should invite Alice.

 

[ellelim]

Ladies, finish 4 hour office interview this afternoon. Time flies and it was an emotional for both of us.

This path is not easy and there are times I am not sure I am ready for the challenge and if I will be able to connect with my baby.

I am also very grateful for this forum and all of your sharing and knowing we are not alone. This forum allow us to hear and sound our fear. Thank you all.

Sweetcl - No kiasu cos me too. Last nite also try to recall wat I wrote on the HSR last nite. We may both graduate at the same time !

janella, babylove - you will be next.

 

[confuse]

iwantitvmuch,
Try giving yr girl sleep by the side for the time being and monitor. I know some PD will not give any medicine to bb too young so is no point going thru the trouble. I believe Alice must have given u Ilidian 0.01% (infant) try that a few times.

U sure yr girl is using the 3mths teat? I haven't change the teat to 3mths yet as when i try changing it she tend to act as if she going to get choke. Oh ya...must be careful during nite feed since u using the 3mth teat cos she drink while she's asleep and will get choke easily. My girl nearly got choke once when i feed her when she's lying on the bed. I was so scared and i tell myself i will never do it again.

Babylove,
Thanks for answering my doubt

Wow...yr boy on 1st solid food already..i'm planning to give my girl solid food when she is 4mth. I know will be too young but i have no choice cos of her rejection in milk i got to start early. I will start with one feed per day till she is 6mth. I also checked with my friends and most of them said they start solid food at 4mths so i'm comfortable with it.

dream,
Ever consider asking yr PD to give yr boy some vitamin to improve his appetite? Remember i told u i gave my dd vitamin...i only give her twice and her appetite improved alot. Just a suggestion

U can tell yr girl not to worry i din do it that now i only did that when she doesnt want milk the last time...yr dd very kind

Ladies,
Tot i can arrange at my place. I can booked that function room at my place and we don hv to worry abt the crowd. But my place is too far although is easy to access with MRT station just 3mins away. If not, we can arrange esplande Haggan Daz with less pple there during the day.

 

[dream09]

Iwantitvmuch and Blesswbb,
Thanks for opening up your place. I think it is a great idea to meet there instead of shopping centre. With so many bbs around, it is definitely better to be in a nice cosy environment. I think we can do a simple pot luck. And as we will have more gatherings (I hope!), we can change "host" at every gathering.

Elle,
Continue to be strong. You will forget all your fear when bb is in your arm.

Blesswbb,
Somehow, it seems my boy knows I have been complaining about his feed! I have asked my mum and helper to write down the feeds he had in the past 2 days and somehow, he is drinking over 30 ounces a day. Much more than expected. I guess as he drinks about 3 ounces every time, I always feel it is not enough but as he is drinking often, it adds up. Quite happy with that

His weight is now 5.1 kg.