Child Adoption

VQ, notti notti...

i never rec your pm leh.... luckily, Wen found out....

so happy n excited... i wan to be part of the joy!!!!

Congrats, once again!!!!
HI Catherine!!

Hi VQ,

So Linda knows she has got free ad in our thread? Wonder if anyone else picked up on this...

Yes, we have never met... but from what you had posted, I can see that you are a very disciplined person and you know what you want... quite like me leh... hee hee

When I get your pic, I could PM my son's pics to you... maybe 1 baby one and one current one...

Btw, are you a working mother?

And did Linda give you contacts for the medical checkup and legal stuff?

Hi Dorothy,

Nice to 'meet' you!

Hi Vi_ni,

What nationality are you? now u know how kaypo i can be
it feels good to read happy threads!
<font color="ff0000">Hi Catherine,</font>
i hv not mention to Linda that i knew u thru a thread!! she must be SURPRISED!!! hahaha.... i m a SAHM.

ok.. i will send the pic of my bb once i "confirm" her as my 2nd DD!!! i hope she is!! my DD is waiting everyday for her little sister to come now!! hahaa...

i abit regretted showing my DD the pic of the bb girl.. give her hope too early... she is very "nervous" when our shifu called to tell us the results of the ba zi. so nervous that she nearly burst into tears.. pestering n asking me: is that little bb sister suitable for our family???

<font color="ff0000">Dor,</font>
not yet.. i will PM u her pics once i bring her home.

<font color="ff0000">Wen,</font>
we would WELCOME those who want to share our joys!!

I have a cousin who wan to put her son up for adoption as she is a teemage parent and her husband had run away and she had NO MEANS to look after him.

Being a mother myself i do agree tat at the boy's point of view he will be better off without my cousin who duno how to take care of him and has no responsibility over him. Sometimes i feel sorry for the boy but i can't adopt him. We send cousin for counselling and even talk to her but yet no use... she is jus too young.

If really wan to put the boy up for adoption, how to go about doing it? I really feel very sorry for him and he is such a gd boy... one who is easy to take care off.

Cousin play computer games at night and slp in the morning. Thus when the boy is awake all she does is to feed him milk.. he is one yr plus now. June 2006 baby but yet he is still take porridge only once a day.. and the porridge is really PLAIN porridge... n she feed him only in the evening. the rest of the time is jus milk milk and nothing else... no routine. when ask what time he slp.. she jus ans.. as and when he is tired lor... OMG!

Sigh sad to talk abt it but anyone can help or advice?
Dear Disney,
After reading your mail,it seems to me that you alone feel that your nephew is better off if he's being adopted. But have you checked out his mum's opinion on this matter? Is she in favour of it? If she's does not think so, this "adoption" solution is not possible to implement at all. Under the law, consent from the biological parents is a must.
Hi Disney,

To go about giving up for adoption, either engage an adoption agency to help find prospective adoptive parents or if there is an interested party already, go to a lawyer familiar with adoption procedures and he/she will guide you from there. Of course the biological parents may want to 'talk terms' such as compensation, etc with the adoptive parents.
hi abcdisney
sad to hear abt your newphew's story. Do keep us update. I don't mind adopting another child (I adopted a gal), provided your cousin is willing to put her son for adoption n my hubby agrees to it.

I'm new here. Recently, my husband and I have been talking about adoption. I have been trying to convieve coming to a year. i'm 29 and he's in his 40s.

Please advice if you know of any good and trustworthy agency around?

Thank you. Appreciate it ver much.
Hi Grace,

If you read through the mails in this thread, you will see my recommendation of:

Shunfa International Consultancy
Blk 171B Edgedale Plains #18-462
Tel : 6227 8966 Contact person: Linda

And a few people's experiences with Linda. One of the forummers has also contacted and adopted a baby girl thru' her.

I suggest you consult a gynae about your situation first before taking the adoption step. Trying to conceive for a year is not that long a time, but long enough to consult a specialist to seek advice. If there are some medical conditions affecting your ability to conceive, and these cannot be corrected, then consider adoption.

Thanks Cat!

I had a bad pregnacy last year. One side of my tube was sniped.

I will still consulted my doctors first before making this move. This should be my last option.
Thanks Cat!!

I had a bad pregnacy last year and one of my tube was sniped.

I will still consult my doctors before making the move. This is my last option.
Hi Grace,

I'm new here too. I agreed with what Catherine say. Trying to conceive for only a year is not a very long time. For myself I have been trying for 7 years... Now consider of adoption....

Hi Cartherine,
I have call Linda after reading so many of good comments about this lady. And yes after talking to her, I think she is a nice lady. Thank you so much for sharing this infor.
Hi Catherine,

Yes I am in the process of doing my HSR, will go for the first interview on 21 Aug. next week. So worry that they will reject my appilcation....
Hi Mocha,

Good luck with your HSR interview.

We have already done ours and had our approval in December 2006. Just be truthful with the questions and dont make up answers to what you think the counsellor wants to hear. Otherwise its gonna be very bad if the answers you and your hubby give dont correspond with the answers in the HSR.

Take it easy and relax. After the interview there is also the house visit to see the living conditions where the child will live in future.

I can share this with you as we have done it and I can understand your anxiety.
Hi Mocha,

I agree with Chris... be relaxed, don't freeze. I believe that by showing the interviewer that you and your husband are a happy and confident couple, will help greatly with the assessment. You don't have to be perfect as no one is - everyone will have insecurities and worries. It would be unnatural and impractical to give 'perfect' answers.

Basically, the interviewer is not there to make things difficult for you.

Hi Chris,

You're back! I believe you are a happy Dad now?
Hi Chris,

Thank you for your support. When we are collecting the the doc needed and answer the question, me and my husband feel that why we are in such a situation that we need to reveal all our privacy to other pple. Why they would ask so much of question that we think doesn't concern or relate to adoption....We feel like pple are making difficuty to pple like us... want to have kids ..but don't have..

But luckily we still manage to complete the doc and now waiting for the interview. May I know when they come to our home visit do we need to prepare things for the baby to use, to show them how prepare are we? My husband was very worry about the home visit and he keep telling me to clean up the house.

Hi Catherine,

I hope so, we will try our best react naturally.
Hi Mocha,

Just make sure that your house is neat and clean (hygienic environment). AND child-safe - sharp corners should be fitted with those corner 'protectors', at least show that you have prepared them or are aware of child safety guidelines. All things dangerous to children should be put in proper places. Baby stuff may not be necessary yet unless you have info on when your baby is coming. But at least be able to show, like - this is where baby will sleep, bathe, rest, where baby food/'equipment' will be stored and prepared, etc...

For me, I did not go thru' HSR as I adopted a local baby but home visit was conducted (after my son was brought home)... the MCYS officer was able to see us in 'action' - changing and caring for baby - it helps a lot... and it was a breeze
<font color="ff0000">Hi Catherine,</font>

I did not receive your PM. something wrong with this thread i think...

my process now is waiting for our lawyer to complete some docs then MCYS will want us to bring the child down for an interview too.
Hi Catherine,

Yes I am a happy and delightful daddy now!!

Am flying on cloud nice and love every minutes of all the responsibilities, feeding, diaper changing, shower, lack of sleep, its ok!!!

Just want to share..

I have when throught my 1st interview this morning. Everything seem to be alright. The interviewer say our case r straight forward and she will come to our home vist on 1st week of Sep. Me and my hubby are quite happy with the results.

But during the interview I feel sad and almost cry when she ask about our how we try to conceive and how we cope each time when the result was negative..... it to hard for me to answer the question and think about how hard we tried for this few year... still felling sad
Hi Mocha,

Guess all of us who adopt because we had tried and failed to have our own children will feel the same way as you... some men also cry.

But be strong and move on and try not to think about this especially when you will be adopting... all this 'if only...' and 'what if...' things should be just left behind for good.

We also tried for years and spent lots of money, not forgetting the emotional roller-coasters, until we said enough is enough... at least we tried, no regrets...

It took a few years before we got serious about adoption though, as it was so comfortable just living life as a couple... but then we were not getting any we decided to take some action... and no regrets again..

Look forward to what is to come... get excited!

Will you be using Linda as well?
Hi VQ,

Happy that there are someone out there understand the feeling.

Hi Catherine,

Ya, we know we have to move on but sometime when pple touch the wound at the deepest of your heart it still feel the pain.

Yes I think I will use Linda since she is nice and ok. I have went to Fox family b4 and lucky i saw this thread , someone have unhappy exp. with FOX family.Just want to make sure that the adoption agent won't cong our $$ and they much be responsible
<font color="ff0000">Hi Catherine,</font>
Linda must be wondering why her business "BOOM" suddenly!! hahaha...

<font color="ff0000">Mocha,</font>
i think u can call Linda to tell her ur requirements(if u hv any). So she can keep a lookout for u. for me, i told her i will be ready for viewing after i got my approve HSR. bcos i do not want to "fall in love" with the child too soon n later cant bring her/him back!
Hi VQ,

I had called her 2 mth ago and last mth she called me say tat she have a baby rdy for viewing but I have not complete my HSR so I told her I will call her once I complete my HSR.
May I know how much total is the cost for the adoption? is it 25K?
<font color="ff0000">Hi Mocha,</font>

23K without Lawyer's.

My steps of payment are:

1) 5k to bring bb for medical check up. (if bb not healthy 5k is refundable)

2) 8k Upon confirming u want this bb.

3) 10k When u bring bb back home. (10k post-dated cheque of 2wks)
If I may just add some things to ensure before you hand over the money to the adoption agencies:

1) Ensure that the names of the biological parents in the letter of consent for adoption is the same as that in the foreign birth cert and whatever documents requiring the indication of the biological parents information.

There is no such excuses as grammatical errors and that the documents are going to be accepted in Singapore. It is a load of bull!

2) Get copies of all medical report tests performed. Dont just take the adoption agencies word that the baby is fine and all tests are done.

3) If the adoption agencies requires you to formally sign a contract, ensure that there is also a termination clause in the event the agency does not deliver its promises within X number of days/months.

There are other areas to also consider but I think the best advise is to be your own skeptic! Remember that whatever can go wrong will go wrong and that you will need to always check and double check with what the adoption agency says.

At the end of the day, it is your families' happiness at stack here, so you should give yourself the time to consider and evaluate all possibilities and advise given by the adoption agencies.
Hi Chris, Mocha,

For Linda, we bring the baby to a clinic of our choice to do the medical check-up and meet up with doctor for a review and we pay for the check-up and keep the medical reports. Chris, your experience has been a really bad one judging from what you have written. I'm so glad I didn't encounter any problems at all.

Mocha - you'll need to consider other costs such as legal, and other fees required from government agencies - these can come up to a few K more - not sure if Linda quoted you an estimate including these.
Hi Catherine,

Its always better to consider the comments regardless of the experience faced. The contact person in the adoption agencies may appear nice, friendly and compassionate, but it is always good to take the cautionary approach.

The contract must also state all costs involved and a detailed schedule of payment should be attached.

Going thru an adoption is a very emotional process, especially when you have already identified a child. But it is also good to take a step back, take a breather and think logically for your own interest as the adoption agencies are only looking after their own interest, not yours.

Hope I am not frightening anyone from adoption but it is a harsh reality of the adoption climate in Singapore. There are fly-by night operators and there are also sincere and geniune ones but they are far and few.

But anyway, after much searching we now already have a baby daughter and she is the love of our lives!
Hi all,

Thank you very much for the advice. This will help us to be more careful and alart when come to sign a contract with the agencies.

If i not wrong Linda told me around 20K +++ and if we use her lawyer that intro by her, then the cost will add on..

Any good lawyer to recomend? Or is it better to use the one she recomend??

What abt the medical check up? Is it going to normal PG or the best going to some specialist for child to do a check up. Need advice , thanks.
It is best to go to a pediatrician. Thats what my wife and I did. We first brought our daughter to a pediatrician near our place and he referred us to another one in Mount E that does all the needed tests. We just go back to our initial pediatrican for the regular monthly jabs and meds.

We did the following:
- full blood test for all types of diseases,HIV and blood group.
- Heart scan to detect any abnormality (this is important to detect possibilities of hole in the heart or irregular heart beat)
- Chest Xray
- Hearing test

As for the selection of the lawyer, it is better to use the recommended lawyer and also ensure that the agency does the coordination of the documents and necessary legwork. Some of them will say that once the baby comes, they leave it up to you to do the coordination and sort out with the lawyer.

What they are effectively saying is that their job is done once the baby comes in and should the court/lawyer reject the documentation due to whatever reasons, then it is going to be all your own problems to handle.
If I may add on further, you also need to do your homework and check that the lawyer/law firm has done other adoption matters before. Otherwise if it is the first time for them, its gonna be hell for you cos the courts will reject wrongly submitted documents.

Some of them will ask for extra cost due to no fault of yours. So you need to always tell the adoption agencies and appointed lawyer that you want to be kept informed of the progress and that progress updates does not mean "it is ok and waiting for reply" You want to have details!!
Hi Mocha,

I used the lawyer recommended by Linda. She is Serene Chan, a very nice and experienced lawyer in adoption matters. We were always kept informed of the proceedings and Linda was always available. My adoption was completed in 4 months, thanks to Linda, MCYS and an efficient lawyer.

I also sent my son to a child and baby clinic for his check-up. As he was a local, many of the tests were already done at the time of his birth, so his check-up was not a comprehensive one that Chris mentioned. I suggest you follow Chris' advice for check-up for a foreign baby. I had enquired with KK hospital before, and they do have 'packages' for pre-adoption check-up, perhaps you can check with them too.

As for the process/contract with Linda, maybe VQ can provide some info to put your mind at ease, since she will have the 'latest' experience with Linda.
Hi Catherine,

Thanks for your infor. I have done my home interview yesterday. Everything seem to be in good progress. I think we still need to have two more interview.

I have a problem now.. I am now standing at the cross junction .. I have problem wif my career, thinking of change job. Cos me and my boss are in a very bad condition. I think he is trying to get me out of the company!! HaHAHA!!
Begining of my plan is to adopt first, then take a month of adoption leave and at the same time find a new job then after that resign , go Decenber holiday and then go to new job..
But now it seem like i need to look for job first and then see how... really don't know how to move on....hai..
Hi Mocha,

If you really need to change job, I suggest you do it soon and give yourself a few months to settle down at your new job. This is because having a baby is a life-changing experience and balancing it with a new job is not a good idea at all. How long is the HSR valid? Make sure you settle down at your new job and complete the adoption within the that time.

Good luck with your job search!
hi ladies

I'm from the stillbirth thread. Some of you may have read my story on 9th Sep's Sunday Times. I've lost 3 babies altogether - 2 stillbirth and 1 died in NICU as all were delivered preterm. My hubby and I are now desperately looking for connections or avenues to adopt a local baby. Can any of you advise or help? We approached MCYS - they said babies are very hard to come by, theirs are mostly children whose parents are sent to jail. We attended talks at FEIYUE and TOUCH community services and even called up a few adoption agencies but the price tag of 25-30K is way beyond our fiancial reach as we've exchausted a large part of our savings for my babies and my own hospitalisation.

I hope by posting here, I can get some support (and help) from mummies who have gone down the adoption route. Thanks in advance.

P.S. If you want to see my babies' blog, it's here:
Hi Angel,

I read with great sadness about your story last Sunday in the papers. What you and your husband has gone through is very painful and seeing yours babies' blog brought much tears to my eyes. I sincerely wished and pray that both you and your husband will continue to be strong as your live your difficult lives each day.

My wife and I are in the midst of our baby's adoption. We did enquire about local baby adoption from MCYS but they informed us that the chances are usually slim and the queue is long.

I do agree with you that the cost of adoption from the commercial adoption agencies are high. Unless you know of relatives who are aware of families (local or foreign) who wishes to give their baby up for adoption, there is no other avenues but to go with these commercial agencies. Based on my own experiences with commercial adoption agencies, there are the good ones and there are also the fly-by night operators who are just out to make money and thereafter leave your stranded.So you need to be very, very careful, cover all possibilities with them.

Please let me know how else I can help. All the online members will be able to give you good advice.
Hi VQ,

I need information on how long it take for Linda to find a child for you? and when you first see the baby until you bring your baby home how long it takes? Let say if HSR is ready.
Thanks in advance for your help
not really finding a child for me only i think. it's like if she has a child whosoever on queue will be informed to view the child.

fm my experience, u can bring the baby home within a week u c n confirm him/her. for me, i waited until bb medical reports r out before bringing her home. that was within 12days.

PS: Please remember to attend the COMPULSORY workshop on Disclosure ASAP.( After you bring a bb home.)
Hi VQ,

Thanks for your infor. I have already attended the workshop. And I think my HSR will be ready by next week. Now I need to plan when to bring home the BB? Because there will be only me and my hubby to look after the BB and we have not buy anything yet for the BB. I have ask Linda to look for a boy but I think my hubby like girl first then a boy next so I think i will call Linda again to tell her girl also can.
We plan to adopt atlease 2..HaHa
i buy bb things 1 day before i brought her back!! although i still hv some bb stuff fm my elder DD but mostly i had given away... then as i m SAHM so after she came i go shopping to buy her more clothings!!! hahaha....

hey! how abt telling Linda, Girl or Boy also can! c which 1 comes first to catch ur eyes!! hahaha... when DH n i first view our little DD, we find her pleasant looking, no other feelings.. but while we r talking with Linda, she smiled happily suddenly!!! that's when we fell in love with our little DD!! hahaha...
Hi Mocha,

I suggest that you start shopping now. Ask an experienced mother to go with you so that you'll buy the correct and useful things. Don't wait till you get the baby to do the shopping - shopping in a rush is no good - may buy the wrong things, wasting money.

Check the newspapers for sales and discounts and go buy them. There'll be many things to buy and sometimes you can't get them at one place.

For me, once I was ready, I went shopping with my sister who has 2 kids and we were able to 'zero-in' and buy the stuff quickly - no need to shop around or consider much - saves time and money and no worries too. Then when baby is ready, everything is set - bringing baby home and caring for him/her day and night is stressful enough - no time to shop.

Also, do your reading up on caring for baby BEFORE baby arrives, 'cos I can tell you that you will be too exhausted to do so once baby is here - unless you have other help.

Enjoy your shopping! Hope you get your baby soon!
just to share, my cousin who stays in m'sia told me the price for adopting a bb girl is abt RM17 whereas recently, a twin bb boys r put up for adoption at RM30!!! seems like girls r more "popular" nw.