Any mummy stay with mother in law?

[happyblue]

I need a place to voice my frustrations about mil. I am currently staying at my mil place. Whenever anybody visits her house, she will mop the floor after the person leaves even if the person only visits for a min. The thing is that she likes the floor to be quite wet when she mops it. She ever slipped before and had a baruku while mopping the floor. My husband fell many times before also and tonite i almost fell and spilled some of my chinese herbs on the floor. I got a scare. I am trying to get pregnant so i find this very dangerous. When i just got married and moved here, almost every month i would slip in the bathroom because the tiles are slippery and the floor is wet. My mil likes to wash/wet the whole toilet a few times a day.

We r going to move to our new place end of this month and she will be staying with us as my fil has passed away many years ago. I worry that she will want to dominate or rule our house as she is used to it. It's my 1st house so i like to do things or decorate the house the way i like it. I am a pretty easygoing person but i might lose patience over time. How can i tell her nicely, without being rude, that she should let us handle our own house? She said she wants to bring the part time maid to go and clean the house on a weekday b4 we move in. I told her we r working on weekdays then she said she can go with the helper. I said i want to clean my new house also then she said,"then u go n clean loh" in a sarcastic tone..

 

[lovethat]

Dear Happyblue,

I hope you do still read this thread. Goodness! You remind me of me. Sad to say there is no nice way of saying; quote "How can I tell her nicely, without being rude, that she should let us handle our own house?" What I learn the hard way is, the more you restrict them, the more they will do just the opposite. Oh, the lack of brains back then! Am still having random heart attack every other day. I believe, I have just open a can of worms.

 

[jazel_baby]

Imagine if we all meet up? i think 24hours also not enough to vent our fustrations about our MILs..kekeke...

B4 marriage, my MIL ask me many times to gib birth to a baby ger asap as she have never taken care of a baby ger b4. She have 3 sons and 1 grandson. So when i preggie with ger, she say beta to have the first one - Boy. never mind the next one sure Boy! I was like DUHZZZ!

Didn't she wanna a ger? Now i 'grant' her long awaited wish, yet she pray next one beta be boy??
First baby haven deliver, so easy ask next one to be boy?? During first few months,she kept calling my ger ->boy boy???

Then when my ger was learning to crawl and had once fell out of floor mattress and landed on her head first,
my ger sure know how to exercise her lungs and wailed the whole house down!
My mil 'came to her rescue' and say 'Haiyoh, ur mummy never take good care of you ar? that is why u fell down, my precious grandchild" And she have to repeat that darn sentence twice....I brewed man!

B4 marriage she seems like the ideal MIL who wun pressure me to have sons and now all her true colours come out ....
Now i cannot wait to collect my keys from HDB!!!

 

[xsun]

hi all mummies,
i read with interest all the grievances.
im planning to move in with my mil after cny. she used to stay with her elder son, now he's married and moved away. she'a a widow and will be living all alone by herself. she has heart problems and like all elderly ppl, weak joints.
i stayed with her briefly for abt a yr b4 mving out. there wasnt much problems bcos im always out of country due to work. but i think i survived all these yrs cos i have selective hearing and a bo chap attitude. i am so bo chap my hb say i live in my own world and dun care wat ppl think of me. i hear wat she says and can read between the lines. but i chose not to respond. i live by the mantra, 'if u have nothing nice to say, then dun say anythg'.

afterall, this is ur own life. y let another person mak ur life so miserable? u cant stop and chg how they behave. so better to chg ur own attitude and coexist in peace.

 

[mylittleone]

Forgive your mother-in-law for interfering into your family and causing confusion, turned you against your husband and pray for your mother-in-law who treat your children with excessive love or lack of love. Forgive all the hurts,words said intentionally or unintentionally. Bear with your mother-in-law cos one day she will realise that you care a lot for her always. Peace and all the best

 

[yee_ping]

Ya spend more time praying, it is not easy time, life do test us, at the end, do we surrender or do we keep holding on, as dark cloud will not stay forever, sun light will eventually appear.

 

[ling74]

Dear All,
before i got married i thought my MILs was a nice old lady even though my mums was dead against me staying with them ( SILs/FILs/MILs) all squeeze up in a tiny 4 rm flat. As we did not have any children for the first 6 years, things are still tolerable. She forbid me to go back to my mums place during festive season... when chinese new year comes, she insist that we have reniuon dinner at home before going back to my mums. My poor parents had to starve before we reach home... when her daughter eventually get married, she bends this rule saying that her MILs does not mind.

With my second one last year, august, we had a huge row during my confinement, i think it is a minor issue but it is the last straw when she complains to me why i throw my clothes together with the rest of the family members. She deems that my clothes are "dirty". I blew up, my poor daughter ( less a month ) was in shock with my son seeing all these unhealthy scene.

Now i still stay with her, but both of us are just acting towards each other. There is one thing that i am grateful for... A maid to be the sponge as now she let her anger out on the maid. Sad to admit, i too... Poor maid... I am also on mid depression ...

My relationship with my husbans iS also strain...

 

[xsun]

hi all,
itz been 2yrs since i moved in with my mil. so far so gd,cos of my 'expertise' in being super bochap and 1 ear in 1 ear out skill.

but 1 thg is she likes to talk very loudly on the phone with her san gu liu por frends. she speaks in cantonese which i can understand. thgs like 'dun care if they choose to have kids or not, cos itz not my business' and 'y shd i cook for them?'

dun noe if she saying for me to hear or wat. aw, im very gd at renning so if she trying to irritating me, too bad,itz not working. haha!

stay with mil muz be very thick skin, the mre she try to stir shit the mre we muz be 'gracious'.after awhile she oso gv up liao.

take care allmummies.

 

[anoi]

I am staying with my mother in law. She is a great helper to me. Helps me alot with the kids. Without her, I wouldnt have survived with 2 kids. Not every mother in law is bad. I am lucky to have found a good mother in law. She treats me like her own daughter.

 

[shoppyling]

anoi! Lucky u....

 

[xsun]

i wanna complain!!

my 2nd pregnancy now and my mil never cook any thg for me, but when my hb comes back frm overseas work, she will purposely buy alot of gd food and cook up a storm for him. so im just like eat since im there lor! is too much her favourtism! then my hb frend gv me birdnest,my hb ask her to cook and when itz cook,she keep asking her son to drink it..keep saying 10x aday,scared i will finish all and her dear son nothg left for him..

Arrgh....

 

[hazehaya]

so lucky

 

[loochermaine]

i am so lucky too

 

[cosmoronymama]

I live with in law too. No choice my hub only son . My 2nd pregnancy when I stay over my mum house 2 days she cook good food eat herself when I come back home my hub tell her cook some nutrition food she say no time. Luckily my mum know my in law won't help so when my mum free she cook nutrition and bird nest soup bring to my in law house when they both in. I always need to bring in the cloth once dry out from window. My Hub tell them is dangerous they say exercise abit won't die. Preg lady must walk more. that time my elder son 4 yr old still want carring my hub say no carry him I nv when my hub go to wk my son want to carry I ask my in law to help she walk off do her thing. Until one day I go checkup doctor say stop carry my elder son my tummy quite hard and they check got contraction must immediately admit in hospital. My hub call and tell them they get scared. When I come back home they scare anything happen to me my parent will come up so they promise my hub will help me fetch son and take in the cloth that is out drying in the sun.
My tummy when pregnant look like having gal so b4 scan they think 100% is gal and tell me no need celebrate full month nobody will come from my hub side. But scan result out the answer shock them. Is a boy. As confinement is in my parent house i decided my bb full month will be at my parent house as spacious and somemore my hub side they say nobody come but in the end my hub side everyone come to see 2nd grandson . Elderly so realistic and bias. Gal no come but when result out is boy ended out come to the party.