I have this headach problem, jt give birth to a bb girl 3 mths ago but i always feel that she cant take care of the bb cos she is very clumsy thus she make alot of noise when im trying to put my 3mths old bb to bed but it seem that she never relise the bb is sleeping! everyone keep telling me that mother in law is a great help but mayb if she dont stay with me, there will not be too many conflicts? and bcos of this, hv a few heated argument with my hubby. Mother in law is always the cause for a break down in our relationship?
Any mummy stay with mother in law?
- Thread starter titusbabi
- Start date
shimmrs
Member
girl girl
Sadly, my relationship with my hb also turned sour becos of my MIL. It happened during my confinement period. But not all MILs are bad lor, there are many good ones around too. Just that I am not the lucky one.
Does your MIL live with you all this time? Is this permanent or temporary? Do you intend to put your baby under her care when you return to work?
Sadly, my relationship with my hb also turned sour becos of my MIL. It happened during my confinement period. But not all MILs are bad lor, there are many good ones around too. Just that I am not the lucky one.
Does your MIL live with you all this time? Is this permanent or temporary? Do you intend to put your baby under her care when you return to work?
Hi girl girl:
Some MIL is like tat de.. i know of my fren's MIL oso like. Maybe if u all not stayin together will be better. Cos i felt that sometimes when DIL and MIL not stay together,their relationsipns will be better. As both of u will meet up less often, means less conflicts.
But, if u guys really have to stay together, then u shld accept the fact. Maybe can think that ur hubby oso in difficult position. I can understand that u are toleratin and giving way, however, mum is still his mother after all. Maybe u can talk to hubby nicely or maybe can make up some agreement or so..
After all, i feel tat is really really not worth it if u n hubby relationships become worsen cos of MIL.I think ur MIL oso dun wish to be a marriage-broker. Try to let ur MIL know tat u do respect her, but u still hope tat she can understand tat as a Mother of the Baby, u will always be very worry for child's safety, health.etc...
Maybe enduring is not the right way. It can only last temporary not ever. U will get Mad n Crazy One day, then it will be the worse that can happen. It will be best if both of u can settle down in peace n harmony..
MIL always tot that they know BEST.. All MIL is like tat.. Then let her have her concept, but u still can try to convince her that, ur way can be good for baby..
The best way to convince her is.. this sentence:"The Doctor say this will be better for baby."
All the best to u..
Some MIL is like tat de.. i know of my fren's MIL oso like. Maybe if u all not stayin together will be better. Cos i felt that sometimes when DIL and MIL not stay together,their relationsipns will be better. As both of u will meet up less often, means less conflicts.
But, if u guys really have to stay together, then u shld accept the fact. Maybe can think that ur hubby oso in difficult position. I can understand that u are toleratin and giving way, however, mum is still his mother after all. Maybe u can talk to hubby nicely or maybe can make up some agreement or so..
After all, i feel tat is really really not worth it if u n hubby relationships become worsen cos of MIL.I think ur MIL oso dun wish to be a marriage-broker. Try to let ur MIL know tat u do respect her, but u still hope tat she can understand tat as a Mother of the Baby, u will always be very worry for child's safety, health.etc...
Maybe enduring is not the right way. It can only last temporary not ever. U will get Mad n Crazy One day, then it will be the worse that can happen. It will be best if both of u can settle down in peace n harmony..
MIL always tot that they know BEST.. All MIL is like tat.. Then let her have her concept, but u still can try to convince her that, ur way can be good for baby..
The best way to convince her is.. this sentence:"The Doctor say this will be better for baby."
All the best to u..
hi girlgirl,
i oso stay with my MIL & though i muz admit tat she did help mi out alot...still...hai...cant stand the way she do her things...her pattern is totally not my pattern & definitely not the way i wan my bb to b brought up in...thanx for starting this thread though...coz TIS SHALL BE THE PLACE to complain about MILs!!! hahaha
i always keep things to myself oso & i agree with sarah..dun let all this sour ur relationship with ur hubby.. i used to complain so much to my hubby & finally realise that he oso veli kelian...being sandwich between 2 women..but of coz if ur MIL realli does things tat is out of the norm den u muz tell ur hubby...i oso scared tat by keeping things to myself i might snap 1 day n go crazy..but den..as long as u have some1 to complain to im sure everything will turn out fine..so make tis place b filled with complains! haha
i also like to lie to her by saying 'doctor say that......' hahaha
i oso stay with my MIL & though i muz admit tat she did help mi out alot...still...hai...cant stand the way she do her things...her pattern is totally not my pattern & definitely not the way i wan my bb to b brought up in...thanx for starting this thread though...coz TIS SHALL BE THE PLACE to complain about MILs!!! hahaha
i always keep things to myself oso & i agree with sarah..dun let all this sour ur relationship with ur hubby.. i used to complain so much to my hubby & finally realise that he oso veli kelian...being sandwich between 2 women..but of coz if ur MIL realli does things tat is out of the norm den u muz tell ur hubby...i oso scared tat by keeping things to myself i might snap 1 day n go crazy..but den..as long as u have some1 to complain to im sure everything will turn out fine..so make tis place b filled with complains! haha
i also like to lie to her by saying 'doctor say that......' hahaha
Hi ladies... halleluih to the almighty MIL.
Interesting to find this thread. I'm not living with my MIL but my parents in law would one day (and i think soon) be moving in with us. I have a comm barrier with the folks. First they are elderly (my grandparents age!!), can only speak Cantonese (of which i noe nuts) with speckles of Chinese...and ULTIMATE - My MIL has hearing and speech prob so comm wif her can be a BIG headache, almost impossible.
My hub wasn't prob up by them but by another aunty so i suppose my PIL has limited child caring knowledge. During my Confinement and ML, they are here everyday. They would play 5 mins wif my boy and my MIL would then try to force ah boy to sleep by rocking and swaying him. NOw, he needs to be craddled to sleep - which is very difficult for Mummy cos only mummy can make bb sleep. Handache now that bb is heavier.
They try to help but don't realise that they are making things worse for us in some ways. For eg, they are here for 4 hours, but 4 hours of craddling him would prob means 24 hours for the parents cos bb is used to rocking. When they are here, mummy is only the milking machine. The bb is brought to me only when he needs a feed!
I try to tell myself that they care for ah boy also... but then, they never bought any toy, or clothes or anything at all for him though i tot all grandparents would dote on their 1st grandchild and would itch to buy anything they see! They never attempted to change diapers for ah boy. In comparison to my own parents, they are really 'cold' lor... only come to play wif boy for 5mins, and force him to sleep thereafter. Sigh... ssshh... my sister and I gave them a nice 'dua bei gong' cos they only come and sit and really do nothing much ... bad DIL hor
I was amaze that i didn't break down. I do complain to my hubb hoping he'll do something, but i guess it is also diff cos he is caught in between. He try to tell them subtly but most of the times it didn't help much. SO I learn to keep quiet most of the times.... scared 1 day i internal injuries ah... haha.
DILS out there, don't worry, you are not the only ones. Find solace here... haha...
Interesting to find this thread. I'm not living with my MIL but my parents in law would one day (and i think soon) be moving in with us. I have a comm barrier with the folks. First they are elderly (my grandparents age!!), can only speak Cantonese (of which i noe nuts) with speckles of Chinese...and ULTIMATE - My MIL has hearing and speech prob so comm wif her can be a BIG headache, almost impossible.
My hub wasn't prob up by them but by another aunty so i suppose my PIL has limited child caring knowledge. During my Confinement and ML, they are here everyday. They would play 5 mins wif my boy and my MIL would then try to force ah boy to sleep by rocking and swaying him. NOw, he needs to be craddled to sleep - which is very difficult for Mummy cos only mummy can make bb sleep. Handache now that bb is heavier.
They try to help but don't realise that they are making things worse for us in some ways. For eg, they are here for 4 hours, but 4 hours of craddling him would prob means 24 hours for the parents cos bb is used to rocking. When they are here, mummy is only the milking machine. The bb is brought to me only when he needs a feed!
I try to tell myself that they care for ah boy also... but then, they never bought any toy, or clothes or anything at all for him though i tot all grandparents would dote on their 1st grandchild and would itch to buy anything they see! They never attempted to change diapers for ah boy. In comparison to my own parents, they are really 'cold' lor... only come to play wif boy for 5mins, and force him to sleep thereafter. Sigh... ssshh... my sister and I gave them a nice 'dua bei gong' cos they only come and sit and really do nothing much ... bad DIL hor
I was amaze that i didn't break down. I do complain to my hubb hoping he'll do something, but i guess it is also diff cos he is caught in between. He try to tell them subtly but most of the times it didn't help much. SO I learn to keep quiet most of the times.... scared 1 day i internal injuries ah... haha.
DILS out there, don't worry, you are not the only ones. Find solace here... haha...
Guess this is the place to put down our 'complains' abt our MILS.... hehe...
Me too, staying with my PIL.... or shld I say, they are staying with us...
Initially, life without baby is still a bliss... we treat each other quite well, and good. Until the baby comes, where all the methods and ways we want to treat our baby comes into conflict.
After I gave birth, my MIL is always 'hogging' our gal.. she's the 1st grandchild of the family. She keep carrying her, and taking care of her, to the extend that my baby doesn't want me to carry her. Whenever I carry her, she will always cry... and when my MIL carry her, she will say "Come, Ah-Ma Sayang"... worst of all, she always tell my gal to call her 'Mak-Mak'... which is almost similar to 'Ma-Ma'.... was so sad leh... talked to my hubby over it, and we agreed that night time when I knock off work, the baby will be taken care by ME only..... hehe...
But later on, problems started arising recently coz of $$ issues.... I didn't really know abt it until my MIL started to show face. My MIL really really very 'ai4 mei3'... she always go shopping with us, and whenever she see things she like, she will buy. and of course, we are the ones we does the paying lor. Sometime I see a pair of shoes I will buy, she will also buy. I buy one blouse, she also buy!!... come on, she's a housewife leh... But for us, we are all working, so definitely we need to buy clothes and shoes right?.... There's one incident that made me so pissed off.... she accidentally spilt my gals' FISH porridge onto my working bag, and thus, the bag needs to be washed. Her response to me was that "You used the bag so long, shld throw away already. How much is the bag?"... then I told her it's a gift from my hubby, think it's abt $40+... she said "So EXPENSIVE"!!... and what's so angry was that she just bought a bag almost $50 the day before, and we were the ones who paid for it ok!!....
And now, coz of $$ issues... coz last yr I 'put' aside some $$ for my PILs... told them to help me keep, but if they really need to use, can use lor. My MIL told me ok, she will keep the $$ for me at the bed. Whenever I want, can just go take lor. Then one day, I went to look for the $$, and found it missing.... So, I asked her nicely abt it... she then told me, Orh... last yr CNY we spent all buying the new year stuff.. CNY need to buy a lot of things ok.... She used up all the $$ without telling me... and it's my $$ ok, even though I said they can use.... and it's more than $1K ok...
So, this yr, my hubby told me not to give them so much, coz he said no point as they will spend them all lor... esp my MIL who LOVES to shop!!...
Then one new year, I asked my MIL where will they be going?.. since it's tradition that one family shld go out together.... she told me "We will go temple then go out with friends"... the way she say implied that you go your way, we go our way...
Gosh!!... I really don't know how long I can stand this... AND, my patience is already very very good ok....
Me too, staying with my PIL.... or shld I say, they are staying with us...
Initially, life without baby is still a bliss... we treat each other quite well, and good. Until the baby comes, where all the methods and ways we want to treat our baby comes into conflict.
After I gave birth, my MIL is always 'hogging' our gal.. she's the 1st grandchild of the family. She keep carrying her, and taking care of her, to the extend that my baby doesn't want me to carry her. Whenever I carry her, she will always cry... and when my MIL carry her, she will say "Come, Ah-Ma Sayang"... worst of all, she always tell my gal to call her 'Mak-Mak'... which is almost similar to 'Ma-Ma'.... was so sad leh... talked to my hubby over it, and we agreed that night time when I knock off work, the baby will be taken care by ME only..... hehe...
But later on, problems started arising recently coz of $$ issues.... I didn't really know abt it until my MIL started to show face. My MIL really really very 'ai4 mei3'... she always go shopping with us, and whenever she see things she like, she will buy. and of course, we are the ones we does the paying lor. Sometime I see a pair of shoes I will buy, she will also buy. I buy one blouse, she also buy!!... come on, she's a housewife leh... But for us, we are all working, so definitely we need to buy clothes and shoes right?.... There's one incident that made me so pissed off.... she accidentally spilt my gals' FISH porridge onto my working bag, and thus, the bag needs to be washed. Her response to me was that "You used the bag so long, shld throw away already. How much is the bag?"... then I told her it's a gift from my hubby, think it's abt $40+... she said "So EXPENSIVE"!!... and what's so angry was that she just bought a bag almost $50 the day before, and we were the ones who paid for it ok!!....
And now, coz of $$ issues... coz last yr I 'put' aside some $$ for my PILs... told them to help me keep, but if they really need to use, can use lor. My MIL told me ok, she will keep the $$ for me at the bed. Whenever I want, can just go take lor. Then one day, I went to look for the $$, and found it missing.... So, I asked her nicely abt it... she then told me, Orh... last yr CNY we spent all buying the new year stuff.. CNY need to buy a lot of things ok.... She used up all the $$ without telling me... and it's my $$ ok, even though I said they can use.... and it's more than $1K ok...
So, this yr, my hubby told me not to give them so much, coz he said no point as they will spend them all lor... esp my MIL who LOVES to shop!!...
Then one new year, I asked my MIL where will they be going?.. since it's tradition that one family shld go out together.... she told me "We will go temple then go out with friends"... the way she say implied that you go your way, we go our way...
Gosh!!... I really don't know how long I can stand this... AND, my patience is already very very good ok....
I didn't want my hubby to be sandwiched between us... BUT now it seems that my hubby also agreed that his parents are like that one...
Somemore, they don't appreciate us helping them... whereas they will dote on their daughter, though their daughter is those type who 'bo-chap' the family one. Treat the house like hotel, want to come, come... don't come home, don't come home. Treat her own mother like maid, ask her to go pay her bills, cook something specially for her, wash her clothes, alter her clothes, be her alarm clock, buy food back for her..... and never even give her a single cent... her daughter is already almost 25 yrs ok!!....
Whereas, we on the other hand, fetch her go work, bring her out shopping (her favourite), waited for her to finish work before having dinner together (almost 8.30pm), give her allowances, buy her clothes, shoes, bags, whatever lah... but she still prefers her daughter over her son (my hubby).... sigh....
But one thing though, she takes quite good care of my gal lah... *though I really cannot stand the way she take care*... haha...
She will cook meals for my gal separately, sometimes add the ikan bilis soup until very SALTY, put salt, put light sauce, until I told her not to put anything inside... natural is the best. My gal is less than 2 yrs old now... Then she will give sacastic remarks that my gal so poor thing, anything also cannot eat, then go outside can eat only...
Or when I read books to my gal, she will say sacarstics things like "Oh, you so poor thing!! Need to study again, so tired... u soo poor thing!!"... Hey come one, reading is good ok!!!... reading is also a form of relax.... But I just keep quiet.... coz she's my MIL mah...
really can't stand her....
Worst of her, she always keep changing her clothes, makeup, comb and blow her hair, all these before going to the MARKET ok.... and we gotta wait and wait for her...
Somemore, they don't appreciate us helping them... whereas they will dote on their daughter, though their daughter is those type who 'bo-chap' the family one. Treat the house like hotel, want to come, come... don't come home, don't come home. Treat her own mother like maid, ask her to go pay her bills, cook something specially for her, wash her clothes, alter her clothes, be her alarm clock, buy food back for her..... and never even give her a single cent... her daughter is already almost 25 yrs ok!!....
Whereas, we on the other hand, fetch her go work, bring her out shopping (her favourite), waited for her to finish work before having dinner together (almost 8.30pm), give her allowances, buy her clothes, shoes, bags, whatever lah... but she still prefers her daughter over her son (my hubby).... sigh....
But one thing though, she takes quite good care of my gal lah... *though I really cannot stand the way she take care*... haha...
She will cook meals for my gal separately, sometimes add the ikan bilis soup until very SALTY, put salt, put light sauce, until I told her not to put anything inside... natural is the best. My gal is less than 2 yrs old now... Then she will give sacastic remarks that my gal so poor thing, anything also cannot eat, then go outside can eat only...
Or when I read books to my gal, she will say sacarstics things like "Oh, you so poor thing!! Need to study again, so tired... u soo poor thing!!"... Hey come one, reading is good ok!!!... reading is also a form of relax.... But I just keep quiet.... coz she's my MIL mah...
really can't stand her....
Worst of her, she always keep changing her clothes, makeup, comb and blow her hair, all these before going to the MARKET ok.... and we gotta wait and wait for her...
Hi tortoise, i really admire your patients. if its me i think i already break down liao.
Hi shimmrs, you are not the only unlucky one, my mil is staying with us permanently, i decided to stop working after ive saw that my mil is not suitable to look after the bb, even with me around, she simply ignore wat i want to tell her too, once she was "shouting" on the phone, i told her that the bb is sleeping, i wave at her, call her but she just pretend im not there and continue on the phone, ok, finally she decided to talk to me but she just tell me "close the door lah"...thanks lor, you shout so loud bb already wake up and when she end the phone, she still can ask me "ei, bb wake up liao ah"...my mil not jt doing thing loud cos she got hearing problem..the worst is when you tell her she will not listen and will get angry and complains to the other relative, this make it like we are the one at fault, what will the relative think of us??..cos my hb is working and not at home, even if i complain to him he dont relise the serious of problem..
Hi shimmrs, you are not the only unlucky one, my mil is staying with us permanently, i decided to stop working after ive saw that my mil is not suitable to look after the bb, even with me around, she simply ignore wat i want to tell her too, once she was "shouting" on the phone, i told her that the bb is sleeping, i wave at her, call her but she just pretend im not there and continue on the phone, ok, finally she decided to talk to me but she just tell me "close the door lah"...thanks lor, you shout so loud bb already wake up and when she end the phone, she still can ask me "ei, bb wake up liao ah"...my mil not jt doing thing loud cos she got hearing problem..the worst is when you tell her she will not listen and will get angry and complains to the other relative, this make it like we are the one at fault, what will the relative think of us??..cos my hb is working and not at home, even if i complain to him he dont relise the serious of problem..
its not jt tat lor, my mil got high chalestro and she always complain that her hands is in pain, she cannot even carry a pk of 6kg rice, cos of her 'size' her flexibility also is a problem..so its not wrong for me to worry about my girl safety if i let her take care, choi choi lata i have to employ a maid to look after my mil as well ah..but my sis and friens keep asking me y not let her try and wat will she think if she know i dont want to let her look after, how com ppl only think wat my mil will think and not wat will happen to my bb, i know my mil is not gg to kill the bb but accident do happen and who is gg to take the responsibility if happen. i jt dont want to take the risk, i cant imagine my mil alone with bb at home and i will keep thinking if im at work..like that i will go crazy too..but my mil always dont think she cannot de she always think that she is superwomen, she always bring up the pass when she take care of her son and the neighbour kids but that was the pass, dont you know a person health will slowly fade as you grow older and the method of teaching now is so different..whenever she say tat, my hb will reply her.."ya thts y i so thin lor"..hahaha..hmmmm tortoise, its better not to let our kids listen to mil more then us cos no matter wat, we are the one tat going to teach our kid in the end, if choy choy mil "go" early, we parents are the one that need to make sure that the kids follow our instruction...my mil like yours too, her words always contain other meaning ones...
girl girl... i noe what you mean. during my 3 mths maternity, i see some things i buay song wif my mil but also cannot tell her direct cos have comm barrier. Then i wait for hubby to come home and tell him wat happen. Sometimes he agrees, sometimes he has no clue to the seriousness of the prob. But he is nice, in the sense that he will convey to his parents. But then, we don't want to be seen as da siao bao gao. If he tells them, they'll noe that I tell him and I buay song then send him to tell them off. Not nice, but no choice lor.
I applaud you lor. I told my husband if his parents are staying with us, no way am i going to be a SAHM. Both sides will definitely see each other bu shun yan one. WW3 will break out lor.
Tortise - you very zai, can tolerate. Think if its me, i might have already pack my bags and gone to my parents wif the kid liao.
I applaud you lor. I told my husband if his parents are staying with us, no way am i going to be a SAHM. Both sides will definitely see each other bu shun yan one. WW3 will break out lor.
Tortise - you very zai, can tolerate. Think if its me, i might have already pack my bags and gone to my parents wif the kid liao.
When my dd kena high fever, I wanted to sponge her with towel.... my MIL says cannot... she say will catch flu, then fever worse.... then like all old folks, she will say last time I take care of all my children also like that one.... OMG!!
I told her doctor says that we are supposed to sponge the child if the fever gets too high... My gal fever was like 38 degrees.... and guess her response??
"What kind of doctor is that??!!"....
And that time I kenna fever coz of engorgement or something similar, definitely cannot be spread to my daughter one. My MIL insisted that I cannot go near my gal coz Fever will spread one.... wah!!.. wat kind of nonsense is that??...!!...
I also asked in front of her and the doctor whether fever will spread or not... Doctor says no and she still doubt the doctor words.
girl girl,
i know what you mean... but how?? coz my gal is taken care of by my MIL fulltime in the day... really want to send my gal to childcare... coz I buay tahan my MIL leh.... somemore my MIL turn on the karaoke, and sang HOKKIEN songs to my gal ok!!!... I almost fainted when my MIL told me that my gal enjoys hokkien songs!!!.... How can my gal enjoy and understand when my MIL was carrying her and singing away??!!.... gosh!!
I wonder if they have a thread for MILs to share abt their DILs.... hahaha...
I told her doctor says that we are supposed to sponge the child if the fever gets too high... My gal fever was like 38 degrees.... and guess her response??
"What kind of doctor is that??!!"....
And that time I kenna fever coz of engorgement or something similar, definitely cannot be spread to my daughter one. My MIL insisted that I cannot go near my gal coz Fever will spread one.... wah!!.. wat kind of nonsense is that??...!!...
I also asked in front of her and the doctor whether fever will spread or not... Doctor says no and she still doubt the doctor words.
girl girl,
i know what you mean... but how?? coz my gal is taken care of by my MIL fulltime in the day... really want to send my gal to childcare... coz I buay tahan my MIL leh.... somemore my MIL turn on the karaoke, and sang HOKKIEN songs to my gal ok!!!... I almost fainted when my MIL told me that my gal enjoys hokkien songs!!!.... How can my gal enjoy and understand when my MIL was carrying her and singing away??!!.... gosh!!
I wonder if they have a thread for MILs to share abt their DILs.... hahaha...
wah!! so many interesting stories..haha tis is realli a gd plc to fa xie. i realli pei fu u all 4 having such gd temper...i was juz angry (in my heart) wif my MIL few days ago becoz of her san part (38) & pantang tinking...she told mi off 4 nutting juz becoz she was in a bad mood on CNY chu 2. she brought my son out wif her to bai nian & when she came back her mood alreadi not gd coz i tink my son did not behave himself & kept sticking to her. when she reach hm, my hub & i juz finish our lunch & she ask y we nv eat the other dishes besides the fish? so i said we didnt even noe tat there were other dishes to eat..the maid did not even tell us. den she told mi off by saying..dunno how to ask ah? & becoz i tot theres oni 1 fish to eat...i told the maid to fry 2eggs.. when she saw the egg...she lagi more angry. she flared up & say..i alreadi told the maid not to cook egg y she still cook?! so of coz i have to say tat i ask her to fry coz i tot theres oni fish. she was so angry tat she did not wan to tok at all..so my hub ask her y cannot eat egg? she was angry & dun wanna reply him..my hub asked again y cannot eat egg..den she said angrily..."wait exam will take ji dan home lah!" DUH!!!! so pantang rite? 2 of my hub's sibling still studying. i realli tink she siao 1..lydat oso angry...so i kena 4 nutting..den my boy lazy & wans his dear AH MA to take off his shoes but she is angry so i went to help my boy take off his shoes..assuming tat my boy will remove his own socks...i return to my seat to watch tv..sekali my boy make noise & didnt wanna remove his own socks..i kena from her again..she say "DUNNO HOW TO REMOVE HIS SOCKS IZZIT" WAH LAU EH..kena for nutting again..nvm..i LUN! den my bb ger was slpy & cry so my hubby push her in her rocker to mi..ask mi to use my leg to rock her while watching tv..so i rock lor...den i juz pause for awhile oni den my bb cry again...den MIL start liao...she say...'she wan to b rock 1...cannot stop!' ARGHH den i continue lor..den she comment again..bb cannot face tat side...wait the fan will blow at her..muz face inside!! wah biang eh..& her tone is veli pek chek & angry 1 lor...i oso nv step on her tail & still kena 4 nutting..tmd..
coz she looked after my son since he was a baby till now (3yrs O)so my son NIAM her until like superglue..she always like to hao lian to every1 tat my son prefer her than mi but its ok..i LUN! & becoz of her..my son has become so spoilt..i rem when he was a bb she also wans my boy to call her mah mah..which sounds so much like ma ma..i was pissed off..coz when my boy finally noe how to say ma...she hao lian to every1 tat he is calling her..not mi! i realli cant stand her more & more.. but no choice..still have to depend on her to look after my ger...& its not tat she is doing a gd job looking after my ger..my poor bb is so dirty bcoz MIL is dirty! u all noe how she bathe my ger?? after washing bb's hair..she simply juz put my ger into the tub & soak & DONE come out liao...nv CLEAN thoroughly 1 lor..& it takes like..2 mins to bathe her..so whenever im not working i will bathe my bb myself...& each time i will find some new place on her with dirt! muz realli scrub den will come off lor..my god...
my stories oso alot 1...im a pineapple tart siao...so 4 CNY mi & hub bought 2 big tub of tarts..coz i wanna bring some to work tmr..so juz now i went to look 4 the new tub tat wasnt open yet coz the opened 1 left a few pieces oni..but who noes...my tarts are gone!! gone 4 gd...cant find at all! i did not ask MIL...i dun bother to tok to her coz i scared 1 day i will quarrel wif her..but im sure she GAVE it to some ppl...& i immd sms my hub & complain..he say he will ask his mum tmr when he comes back..but wats the pt...the tarts will not come back anymore...
to be continued with more new stories....hahaha
coz she looked after my son since he was a baby till now (3yrs O)so my son NIAM her until like superglue..she always like to hao lian to every1 tat my son prefer her than mi but its ok..i LUN! & becoz of her..my son has become so spoilt..i rem when he was a bb she also wans my boy to call her mah mah..which sounds so much like ma ma..i was pissed off..coz when my boy finally noe how to say ma...she hao lian to every1 tat he is calling her..not mi! i realli cant stand her more & more.. but no choice..still have to depend on her to look after my ger...& its not tat she is doing a gd job looking after my ger..my poor bb is so dirty bcoz MIL is dirty! u all noe how she bathe my ger?? after washing bb's hair..she simply juz put my ger into the tub & soak & DONE come out liao...nv CLEAN thoroughly 1 lor..& it takes like..2 mins to bathe her..so whenever im not working i will bathe my bb myself...& each time i will find some new place on her with dirt! muz realli scrub den will come off lor..my god...
my stories oso alot 1...im a pineapple tart siao...so 4 CNY mi & hub bought 2 big tub of tarts..coz i wanna bring some to work tmr..so juz now i went to look 4 the new tub tat wasnt open yet coz the opened 1 left a few pieces oni..but who noes...my tarts are gone!! gone 4 gd...cant find at all! i did not ask MIL...i dun bother to tok to her coz i scared 1 day i will quarrel wif her..but im sure she GAVE it to some ppl...& i immd sms my hub & complain..he say he will ask his mum tmr when he comes back..but wats the pt...the tarts will not come back anymore...
to be continued with more new stories....hahaha
Hi all poor DILss:
Though i'm not living wif my MIL, but i can really understand what's goin thru with u guys..
Like when my baby watch TV, my mum will keep saying not good for eye-sight la.. bla bla bla..
Den when wif my MIL they all, they will keep asking the baby watch TV.. wah!! 2 theory lor.. then is like i dunno which side shld i listen to.. TO let baby watch or not to watch.But i'm learing how to.. Follow the wind when it sails..
No way, can i going to satisfiy both sides.. WHen come to taking care of baby, there's always alot of different theories going on..Cos my FIL, MIL, my mum and my hus's godmother all different de lor... They have their own thinking n views.. For exp. 1 question of why baby neck still not "hard", I gotto explain 4 times, and listen to their old grandmother/fater stories.. HOW i wish one day both side of the In-Laws will get together the whole day n talk out their views.. Then they will know how difficult i'm going thru.
Anyway, soon i will be living wif my father-in-law and his re-married wife.. I hope i will not have any complains here. I'm now quite good wif my FIL's wife.. SHe is quite friendly..
But when come to living together.. Who knows??
There's this chinese saying.. Convert.. " meet up easy, Stay together difficult."
Though i'm not living wif my MIL, but i can really understand what's goin thru with u guys..
Like when my baby watch TV, my mum will keep saying not good for eye-sight la.. bla bla bla..
Den when wif my MIL they all, they will keep asking the baby watch TV.. wah!! 2 theory lor.. then is like i dunno which side shld i listen to.. TO let baby watch or not to watch.But i'm learing how to.. Follow the wind when it sails..
No way, can i going to satisfiy both sides.. WHen come to taking care of baby, there's always alot of different theories going on..Cos my FIL, MIL, my mum and my hus's godmother all different de lor... They have their own thinking n views.. For exp. 1 question of why baby neck still not "hard", I gotto explain 4 times, and listen to their old grandmother/fater stories.. HOW i wish one day both side of the In-Laws will get together the whole day n talk out their views.. Then they will know how difficult i'm going thru.
Anyway, soon i will be living wif my father-in-law and his re-married wife.. I hope i will not have any complains here. I'm now quite good wif my FIL's wife.. SHe is quite friendly..
But when come to living together.. Who knows??
There's this chinese saying.. Convert.. " meet up easy, Stay together difficult."
Den oso, i told my husband that, when come to staying together, Grandfather surely will super dote on their 'inner' 1st grandSON!!
I'm not those type that allows my son to become a spoilt brat!! I seen too many examples of spoilt n ill-manners kids.. I dun wish my son to turn out to be 1.. But u see, when come to discipline, eldery will tend to interupt and have a say.. They will say " dun beat la, anything just slowly say lor!"
Then when time goes by, the kids will know that whenever they going to get scolding or beatin, they will hide behind their grandparents..
When they grow up to ard 6 to 7 years old ( when is too late to teach them manners), then the grandparents will blame us for not teaching them properly.. But now WAt.. Who's the ones who start to spoilt them 1st..
I'm so damn worry abt this lor!!
This is my 1st biggest worry
I'm not those type that allows my son to become a spoilt brat!! I seen too many examples of spoilt n ill-manners kids.. I dun wish my son to turn out to be 1.. But u see, when come to discipline, eldery will tend to interupt and have a say.. They will say " dun beat la, anything just slowly say lor!"
Then when time goes by, the kids will know that whenever they going to get scolding or beatin, they will hide behind their grandparents..
When they grow up to ard 6 to 7 years old ( when is too late to teach them manners), then the grandparents will blame us for not teaching them properly.. But now WAt.. Who's the ones who start to spoilt them 1st..
I'm so damn worry abt this lor!!
This is my 1st biggest worry
Hi girl girl:
Actually. is good to stop work now n look after ur kids.. is like u dunno what will happen to ur bb at home.. U will not be able to work at peace.. U can wait till when bb older, can put in childcare then go back to work.. U will feel much safer..
and u oso can enjoy the time to see them grow each day.. But u gotto prepare that a SAHM is not easy.. u will meet ur problems n frustrations oso..
But luckliy, this tread is set up..
So mummies any complains feel free to vent ur frustrations here!!! Dun hide ur anger.. U will become vocalno one day..
Actually. is good to stop work now n look after ur kids.. is like u dunno what will happen to ur bb at home.. U will not be able to work at peace.. U can wait till when bb older, can put in childcare then go back to work.. U will feel much safer..
and u oso can enjoy the time to see them grow each day.. But u gotto prepare that a SAHM is not easy.. u will meet ur problems n frustrations oso..
But luckliy, this tread is set up..
So mummies any complains feel free to vent ur frustrations here!!! Dun hide ur anger.. U will become vocalno one day..
janie, u also kenna from ur MIL... haha.
My MIL part-time works as a cleaner... and we always go pick her up after she knocks off. The last thing she will do is to throw the rubbish in the black plastic bag, and throw into the big bin... then she will hop on the car.
After that, she will FEED my dd with her bare hands ok!!... Initially I ren coz don't want to go into conflict with her... then finally I can't stand it, coz it's so dirty right!!... then I tell my dd "darling, ur hands dirty cannot eat things ok?..." I also ask my MIL whether her hand is clean or not, coz we are feeding my gal mah... then she told me "oh, plastic bag very clean one... it's ok one".... but can see that she not very happy.... but hey, it's personal hygiene ok!.. My FIL also no awareness of cleaniness. That time they brought my gal to see the doctor, and as you know clinic so many germs, then when they come home, they will feed her eat bread, without washing my girl's hand ok...
Go playground also bring bread to feed her.... aiyo.. really can't stand it man!!...
Another thing, my MIL always say that my gal don't want to sleep in the afternoon... and if my gal don't sleep, she will sleep quite late abt 6pm-7/8pm.. then wake up, want to play before we need to 'force' her to sleep.. by that time it's already midnight, and we still need to go to work in the morning. So, I tell my MIL to try to make sure my gal takes her afternoon nap lor... she always say my gal don't want to sleep... sigh.. and everytime weekend I will make sure my gal gets her nap, no problem at all!!!... it's the way you can make her sleep lor...
Then my MIL will make remarks like "Oh, u can make ur gal sleep coz she very tired lor.. last few days afternoon she didn't sleep well, so weekend she can sleep better lor".... wat kind of nonsense is that??!!...
Initially we were very ok with my PIL... Even to the extend that I find them treat me better than my parents..... Wah, who knows, actually they treat me well coz of $$$$...... my dad is a businessman lor... so can say $$ no problems lah.... Only a few incidents 'woke' me up that they are actually so $$-minded...
That time our house air-con spoil, so me and my hubby brought my MIL together to see which aircon is good lor.... Finally we agreed on a model, so I just asked my MIL (out of respect) whether need to ask my FIL before we make the purchase or not.... Her immediate response was "No need to ask, your FIL no $$ one...".... Sigh... nobody is asking them to pay any $$ ok.. the $$ issue didn't even pop up... sigh..
Don't think can be a SAHM, firstly of financial commitments.... haha...
My MIL part-time works as a cleaner... and we always go pick her up after she knocks off. The last thing she will do is to throw the rubbish in the black plastic bag, and throw into the big bin... then she will hop on the car.
After that, she will FEED my dd with her bare hands ok!!... Initially I ren coz don't want to go into conflict with her... then finally I can't stand it, coz it's so dirty right!!... then I tell my dd "darling, ur hands dirty cannot eat things ok?..." I also ask my MIL whether her hand is clean or not, coz we are feeding my gal mah... then she told me "oh, plastic bag very clean one... it's ok one".... but can see that she not very happy.... but hey, it's personal hygiene ok!.. My FIL also no awareness of cleaniness. That time they brought my gal to see the doctor, and as you know clinic so many germs, then when they come home, they will feed her eat bread, without washing my girl's hand ok...
Go playground also bring bread to feed her.... aiyo.. really can't stand it man!!...
Another thing, my MIL always say that my gal don't want to sleep in the afternoon... and if my gal don't sleep, she will sleep quite late abt 6pm-7/8pm.. then wake up, want to play before we need to 'force' her to sleep.. by that time it's already midnight, and we still need to go to work in the morning. So, I tell my MIL to try to make sure my gal takes her afternoon nap lor... she always say my gal don't want to sleep... sigh.. and everytime weekend I will make sure my gal gets her nap, no problem at all!!!... it's the way you can make her sleep lor...
Then my MIL will make remarks like "Oh, u can make ur gal sleep coz she very tired lor.. last few days afternoon she didn't sleep well, so weekend she can sleep better lor".... wat kind of nonsense is that??!!...
Initially we were very ok with my PIL... Even to the extend that I find them treat me better than my parents..... Wah, who knows, actually they treat me well coz of $$$$...... my dad is a businessman lor... so can say $$ no problems lah.... Only a few incidents 'woke' me up that they are actually so $$-minded...
That time our house air-con spoil, so me and my hubby brought my MIL together to see which aircon is good lor.... Finally we agreed on a model, so I just asked my MIL (out of respect) whether need to ask my FIL before we make the purchase or not.... Her immediate response was "No need to ask, your FIL no $$ one...".... Sigh... nobody is asking them to pay any $$ ok.. the $$ issue didn't even pop up... sigh..
Don't think can be a SAHM, firstly of financial commitments.... haha...
Hi sarah ive already thot of putting my girl to infant care even she is like only 3 mths plus now cos even if i stay at home, i already cannot stand my mil man..hahaha..
tortoise, talk about sleeping, my mil also like that one, my bb is so young only, by right she should sleep more according to the doctor but hor my mil very funny de, she dont let her sleep de, everytime when i try to make her sleep she will come in and start talking to her and even tell her infront of me "ai ya, u dont want to sleep hor...blar blar blar...and she also keep asking me how come my bb keep sleeping one..then she will like not happy when i make my bb sleep one...hallo she is only like 3mths old..then you expect her to dance and sing meh...
my mil is the kind that like to talk alot alot, i really cannot stand her when she start talking, she can continue and talk non stop for an hr!!! once bb cry and i go make milk, when she saw me she start talking but when u see me making milk meaning my bb is hungry lah but she continue talk and talk and talk and dont let me go, i dont care and jt walk off lor and guess wat, she continue talking by shouting in the kitchen and expect me to hear her..oh man...once even worst, she got guest coming and i was in the toilet but she keep shouting for me and expect me to reply her in the toilet!!!!! and when im done, i ask her wat she want..she ans me in that unhappy face.."nothing lah"...oh! i was like so piss off man..and then she told me her friend is here so ask me to close the room door..but the friends kid keep coming into the room and the wind bang the door damn loud and it startled my bb...then guess what.. she come in and blame me!!!! say how come i didnt put the stoper at the door...hallo you ask me to close the door leh....
i dont think i want to be SAHM also lah cos i cannot do nothing at home de. if its not for my bb, i will have continue working ler...
tortoise, talk about sleeping, my mil also like that one, my bb is so young only, by right she should sleep more according to the doctor but hor my mil very funny de, she dont let her sleep de, everytime when i try to make her sleep she will come in and start talking to her and even tell her infront of me "ai ya, u dont want to sleep hor...blar blar blar...and she also keep asking me how come my bb keep sleeping one..then she will like not happy when i make my bb sleep one...hallo she is only like 3mths old..then you expect her to dance and sing meh...
my mil is the kind that like to talk alot alot, i really cannot stand her when she start talking, she can continue and talk non stop for an hr!!! once bb cry and i go make milk, when she saw me she start talking but when u see me making milk meaning my bb is hungry lah but she continue talk and talk and talk and dont let me go, i dont care and jt walk off lor and guess wat, she continue talking by shouting in the kitchen and expect me to hear her..oh man...once even worst, she got guest coming and i was in the toilet but she keep shouting for me and expect me to reply her in the toilet!!!!! and when im done, i ask her wat she want..she ans me in that unhappy face.."nothing lah"...oh! i was like so piss off man..and then she told me her friend is here so ask me to close the room door..but the friends kid keep coming into the room and the wind bang the door damn loud and it startled my bb...then guess what.. she come in and blame me!!!! say how come i didnt put the stoper at the door...hallo you ask me to close the door leh....
i dont think i want to be SAHM also lah cos i cannot do nothing at home de. if its not for my bb, i will have continue working ler...
my mil can talk so much till i am like a criminal at home!!!!
i hate the way she keep asking me ques, even if i go out with my friends she can ask me, where you go?, what time you come back? who you go out with? even what kind of transport she also ask!!! somtimes i jt open my carboard she even can ask me wat am i looking for..omg..i really feel like i am being watched!!!!!
the word she like to use best man "Zhou Sheng mer" anything she also ask me zhou sheng mer...i mop the floor, clean the house abit she also ask me zhou sheng mer..like as if i cannot touch anything at all..
hey this is my home ok....she always bombard me with tons and tons and tons of questions..
wa bian eh...taking care of my bb is already stressfull enough and with her nagging and ques..im really going crazy man...
i hate the way she keep asking me ques, even if i go out with my friends she can ask me, where you go?, what time you come back? who you go out with? even what kind of transport she also ask!!! somtimes i jt open my carboard she even can ask me wat am i looking for..omg..i really feel like i am being watched!!!!!
the word she like to use best man "Zhou Sheng mer" anything she also ask me zhou sheng mer...i mop the floor, clean the house abit she also ask me zhou sheng mer..like as if i cannot touch anything at all..
hey this is my home ok....she always bombard me with tons and tons and tons of questions..
wa bian eh...taking care of my bb is already stressfull enough and with her nagging and ques..im really going crazy man...
can't stand my MIL even though we only stayed together for 2 months during my confinement.
Wanted everything her way. Scolded my husband over trival matter. Can't take stress of taking care of baby overnight.
she claimed that she's babysitting for 10 over years but let my baby cried until got colic. cannot handle at all.
She's very emotional type. We borrowed some of her martel to brew tonic during my confinement because we finished all our bottles. She cried and said she wanted to keep for her 2nd son's wedding. need to be so drama meh? I can't go out to buy during confinement & we already told her we will return her those martel. And why did all our martel run out? because she didn't know how to brew tonic and dried up all the martel we stock up. and BIL is only getting married one year later!
When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, she actually said 'oh shit' when we break the good news about my pregnanyc to her. Is this the kind of response you expected?
She also super double standard. When we suggest she sell her house to move nearer to ours (she was taking care of our 1st child but we can't bring baby home everyday because journey too far), she refused, said will never moved because lived there for 20 over years.
Then when my bro-in law wife is pregnant, she suddenly sold her house to move nearby(BIL lived near our house). So great news right? I ask her to take care of my 2nd child but she said she is going to babysit BIL's baby who is only going to be borned like 6 months after mine. So she's only moving nearby to help take care of their baby
when she was babysitting my 1st child, demanded my hubby to give her $800 a months + separate allowance for FIL. said it's market price for taking care of baby who stayed over night at her place. We ask for a lower amount because we just start working but she insisted.
now BIL only gave her $400 a month for taking care of his baby & she never complained
many many examples lah. my hubby & I quarrelled so many times during my confinement when she was staying with us. I told my hubby we will surely divorced if she continues to stay with us.
Other than that 2 months, my hubby & I quarrelled less than 5 times throughout our 7 year marriage. So MIL is a sure spark for creating conflicts
Wanted everything her way. Scolded my husband over trival matter. Can't take stress of taking care of baby overnight.
she claimed that she's babysitting for 10 over years but let my baby cried until got colic. cannot handle at all.
She's very emotional type. We borrowed some of her martel to brew tonic during my confinement because we finished all our bottles. She cried and said she wanted to keep for her 2nd son's wedding. need to be so drama meh? I can't go out to buy during confinement & we already told her we will return her those martel. And why did all our martel run out? because she didn't know how to brew tonic and dried up all the martel we stock up. and BIL is only getting married one year later!
When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, she actually said 'oh shit' when we break the good news about my pregnanyc to her. Is this the kind of response you expected?
She also super double standard. When we suggest she sell her house to move nearer to ours (she was taking care of our 1st child but we can't bring baby home everyday because journey too far), she refused, said will never moved because lived there for 20 over years.
Then when my bro-in law wife is pregnant, she suddenly sold her house to move nearby(BIL lived near our house). So great news right? I ask her to take care of my 2nd child but she said she is going to babysit BIL's baby who is only going to be borned like 6 months after mine. So she's only moving nearby to help take care of their baby
when she was babysitting my 1st child, demanded my hubby to give her $800 a months + separate allowance for FIL. said it's market price for taking care of baby who stayed over night at her place. We ask for a lower amount because we just start working but she insisted.
now BIL only gave her $400 a month for taking care of his baby & she never complained
many many examples lah. my hubby & I quarrelled so many times during my confinement when she was staying with us. I told my hubby we will surely divorced if she continues to stay with us.
Other than that 2 months, my hubby & I quarrelled less than 5 times throughout our 7 year marriage. So MIL is a sure spark for creating conflicts
hi fellow mummies
i dun stay wif my pil but we go back for dinner every sunday. my pil are not the very aggressive ones but their kuan4 also very jialat. intially when i was pregnant and we told fil is a gal, he say tummy round how come gal. this kind of remark damn hurtful rite? then when we bring the baby home he will talk at the top of his voice when my baby is asleep. although my hubby ask him to lower his volume, he will still continue to talk loudly. my mil will also continue to make a lot of noise in the kitchen. my mil keep askin me how come dun give my baby plain water(my baby is tbf). ask me like every week for 3-4 weeks continuous. my baby is four months now. i let my baby tummy time then my fil say the baby like sufferin.fil also bought pearl powder for baby before she was born and keep askin us whether we give baby or not. i dunno lah. they are not malicious kind but they juz get on my nerves with their comments n actions. i try to ren cos my hubby caught in the middle but sometimes really frustratin.
i dun stay wif my pil but we go back for dinner every sunday. my pil are not the very aggressive ones but their kuan4 also very jialat. intially when i was pregnant and we told fil is a gal, he say tummy round how come gal. this kind of remark damn hurtful rite? then when we bring the baby home he will talk at the top of his voice when my baby is asleep. although my hubby ask him to lower his volume, he will still continue to talk loudly. my mil will also continue to make a lot of noise in the kitchen. my mil keep askin me how come dun give my baby plain water(my baby is tbf). ask me like every week for 3-4 weeks continuous. my baby is four months now. i let my baby tummy time then my fil say the baby like sufferin.fil also bought pearl powder for baby before she was born and keep askin us whether we give baby or not. i dunno lah. they are not malicious kind but they juz get on my nerves with their comments n actions. i try to ren cos my hubby caught in the middle but sometimes really frustratin.
Hi hippo:
i find that u are so damn poor thing.. is so obvious that ur MIL is so 1-sided.. And wat the.... she actually claim $800 for baby-sit..Is her own grand-son lei... PPl look after other's baby lor. in that case, maybe u shld ask her move in wif ur BIL since she likes him best
i find that u are so damn poor thing.. is so obvious that ur MIL is so 1-sided.. And wat the.... she actually claim $800 for baby-sit..Is her own grand-son lei... PPl look after other's baby lor. in that case, maybe u shld ask her move in wif ur BIL since she likes him best
yeah, I also felt that MIL is money sucker sometimes.
MIL rented out a room to her Malaysian relative and only collected a token sum. Then claim that money not enough & ask my hubby to contribute more to her household even though we are not even staying with her. We are in fact subsidising her Malaysian relative ! why can't she charge her relative market rate rental then ?since she's also charging us market rate for taking care of her own grandchild
And although BIL is not a graduate, he is drawing a good income and his wife is a graduate. So their combined income also above national average. But MIL still felt that we are better off and imagined we earning a lot more simply because both of us are graduates.
she even said she intend to rent out the whole house to move in with BIL to take care of his baby and used that rental to help in BIL household expense. huh?!!
so I actually asked her 'you are taking care of their baby, do houseworks for them, and you are paying them money ???'
sounds like a good deal ? yet she's so calculative towards my hubby & I
aiya, MIL always think it's our responsiblities to take care of hubby.
Whenever my hubby fell sick (just coughing or sore throat), I kanna scolded for not taking good care of him
but when I fell sick, she never said her son didn't take care of me ?? it's a virus wah, just picking on me lah
my take is less contact the better. we moved recently to be nearer to my mom's house. Now I feel so blessed. Parents take care of me)
MIL dare not object to us moving house because we pointed out that she has not been giving us any support. She only take care of BIL baby and we received no support at all from her.
If there's no one to take care of my kids, how can I return to work to help supplement household income? At least she listen to reasons this time (she got no case) and dare not object when we moved house
haha!! now I feel so shiok....cheap thrill lah
(since I dare not show black face or talk back to her even when I was scolded for whatever nonsense)
MIL rented out a room to her Malaysian relative and only collected a token sum. Then claim that money not enough & ask my hubby to contribute more to her household even though we are not even staying with her. We are in fact subsidising her Malaysian relative ! why can't she charge her relative market rate rental then ?since she's also charging us market rate for taking care of her own grandchild
And although BIL is not a graduate, he is drawing a good income and his wife is a graduate. So their combined income also above national average. But MIL still felt that we are better off and imagined we earning a lot more simply because both of us are graduates.
she even said she intend to rent out the whole house to move in with BIL to take care of his baby and used that rental to help in BIL household expense. huh?!!
so I actually asked her 'you are taking care of their baby, do houseworks for them, and you are paying them money ???'
sounds like a good deal ? yet she's so calculative towards my hubby & I
aiya, MIL always think it's our responsiblities to take care of hubby.
Whenever my hubby fell sick (just coughing or sore throat), I kanna scolded for not taking good care of him
but when I fell sick, she never said her son didn't take care of me ?? it's a virus wah, just picking on me lah
my take is less contact the better. we moved recently to be nearer to my mom's house. Now I feel so blessed. Parents take care of me
) MIL dare not object to us moving house because we pointed out that she has not been giving us any support. She only take care of BIL baby and we received no support at all from her.
If there's no one to take care of my kids, how can I return to work to help supplement household income? At least she listen to reasons this time (she got no case) and dare not object when we moved house
haha!! now I feel so shiok....cheap thrill lah
(since I dare not show black face or talk back to her even when I was scolded for whatever nonsense)
hi mummies,
wah so many stories liao..haha tis is realli a gd place huh..
tortoise, i agree wif u..i tink hygiene is veli impt & i tink no matter how 'clean' the thrash bags are...there will still b lots of germs!!
my MIL is also a veli 'dirty' person..the way she bathe my 2 kids i noe liao...& tats not all..she doesnt wash her wok/kualis after cooking!! imagine how oily it can be after frying some food...even if she does wash...she oni rinse with water...no nid detergent 1!! YUCKS..her logic is..the oil will clog the sink! OMG..so she oni use tissue paper to wipe the wok! now wif a maid ard..she teaches her all her dirty style of washing & cleaning..& the maid is actualli MY maid..
when i had my 1st child she look after him till he went to childcare centre..den when i was pregnant again, she told us tat she cannot handle 2 kids & wan us to employ a maid. at tat time i was tinking, since my boy alreadi went to full day childcare, she is actualli veli eng in the day. but nvm, since she say cannot cope so we got a maid. who noes after the maid comes...all the maid does at home is to do the housework for my MIL(i stay in her house) & cook dinner & laundry. end up i took care of my bb ger for the whole of 3mths of maternity leave without the maid's help..& wat does my MIL do? she go out lor! so tmdz rite? if i were to move out 1 day, i tink im going to change another maid...coz tis maid is alreadi used to her dirty ways of cleaning things..i have no say since its her house..
girlgirl, u r so poor thing...next time ur MIL ask u zhuo she mo again..u tell her mei you she mo lor..haha whenever i tok to my maid my MIL will also ask mi Y? wat happen? so kpo rite..none of her biz oso mah...den i juz say nutting..hahhaa
mngo, i admire u 4 having the courage to tok so loudly & let ur FIL hear u..i dun dare leh..i will always complain to my hubby & he will go & tell his mum...but i tot him not to do tat coz its so obvious tat im complaining abt her..
hippo, i pity u but oso envy u! coz its oni 2 mths of hell 4 u..haha not like us who stay with PIL permanently.. ur MIL is so farnee..realli so drama!! u shld also drama back mah..haha dun understand y they muz b so bias hor...so in the end she realli nv help to look after ur 2nd child? but i realli tink u shldnt keep saying abt divorce to ur hubby..im sure he oso veli xin ku..u juz complain to him lah..tok nicely dun quarrel..but i can understand lah..sometimes juz cant help it coz we r juz too abgry liao..i also tend to quarrel wif my hub but nw i try to keep things to myself..coz i noe he is caught in between oso..
& also..800 is alot leh...looking after their own grandchild oso muz so calculative..might as well as outsider to look after 4 u liao...
alice, yes i can understand wat u r going thru coz all MILs are lydat!!
hmm...i m starting to wonder if i will b like our MILs 30yrs later when i become 1...haha imagine our DILs behave like us..coming to forum & complain abt us! hahaa
my MIL also dote on my son more than my bb ger...its so obvious..even their CNY angbao is diff amount..so &^*!@&^%! rite? obviously they prefer boy than ger.
wah so many stories liao..haha tis is realli a gd place huh..
tortoise, i agree wif u..i tink hygiene is veli impt & i tink no matter how 'clean' the thrash bags are...there will still b lots of germs!!
my MIL is also a veli 'dirty' person..the way she bathe my 2 kids i noe liao...& tats not all..she doesnt wash her wok/kualis after cooking!! imagine how oily it can be after frying some food...even if she does wash...she oni rinse with water...no nid detergent 1!! YUCKS..her logic is..the oil will clog the sink! OMG..so she oni use tissue paper to wipe the wok! now wif a maid ard..she teaches her all her dirty style of washing & cleaning..& the maid is actualli MY maid..
when i had my 1st child she look after him till he went to childcare centre..den when i was pregnant again, she told us tat she cannot handle 2 kids & wan us to employ a maid. at tat time i was tinking, since my boy alreadi went to full day childcare, she is actualli veli eng in the day. but nvm, since she say cannot cope so we got a maid. who noes after the maid comes...all the maid does at home is to do the housework for my MIL(i stay in her house) & cook dinner & laundry. end up i took care of my bb ger for the whole of 3mths of maternity leave without the maid's help..& wat does my MIL do? she go out lor! so tmdz rite? if i were to move out 1 day, i tink im going to change another maid...coz tis maid is alreadi used to her dirty ways of cleaning things..i have no say since its her house..
girlgirl, u r so poor thing...next time ur MIL ask u zhuo she mo again..u tell her mei you she mo lor..haha whenever i tok to my maid my MIL will also ask mi Y? wat happen? so kpo rite..none of her biz oso mah...den i juz say nutting..hahhaa
mngo, i admire u 4 having the courage to tok so loudly & let ur FIL hear u..i dun dare leh..i will always complain to my hubby & he will go & tell his mum...but i tot him not to do tat coz its so obvious tat im complaining abt her..
hippo, i pity u but oso envy u! coz its oni 2 mths of hell 4 u..haha not like us who stay with PIL permanently.. ur MIL is so farnee..realli so drama!! u shld also drama back mah..haha dun understand y they muz b so bias hor...so in the end she realli nv help to look after ur 2nd child? but i realli tink u shldnt keep saying abt divorce to ur hubby..im sure he oso veli xin ku..u juz complain to him lah..tok nicely dun quarrel..but i can understand lah..sometimes juz cant help it coz we r juz too abgry liao..i also tend to quarrel wif my hub but nw i try to keep things to myself..coz i noe he is caught in between oso..
& also..800 is alot leh...looking after their own grandchild oso muz so calculative..might as well as outsider to look after 4 u liao...
alice, yes i can understand wat u r going thru coz all MILs are lydat!!
hmm...i m starting to wonder if i will b like our MILs 30yrs later when i become 1...haha imagine our DILs behave like us..coming to forum & complain abt us! hahaa
my MIL also dote on my son more than my bb ger...its so obvious..even their CNY angbao is diff amount..so &^*!@&^%! rite? obviously they prefer boy than ger.
aiya, even though not staying together, she 'poke' me everytime we visit her
throughout my 2nd pregnancy, she passed scarastic remarks. I was so stressed and angry everytime after visiting her. and must still ren ren ren. Luckily my baby is still cheerful, not affected by my mood.
I guess she was quite angry with me for quiting my job and bringing my elder girl home to take care personally.
But her 'fees' so high, who can afford her 'professional care'?
She didn't like the idea that I'm living off my hubby, she wants me to work. After I quit, my hubby can no longer afford to pay her high maintenance allowance every month since we are left with a single income
if I wore the same dress to her house twice, she will make comment like why I always wear the same dress. Go market to buy new dress lah, your husband need face, don't dress shabbily
huh? that's a branded dress ok, got taste or not? as if go market to buy dress will give my hubby more face? market ?? I shop at Zara (using my own $). my gosh ! see what I meant by picking on me?
anyway, after moving far far away, I see less of her so things are much better. just be polite lor
I'm glad I have daughters only. My mom adores her son-in-law)
throughout my 2nd pregnancy, she passed scarastic remarks. I was so stressed and angry everytime after visiting her. and must still ren ren ren. Luckily my baby is still cheerful, not affected by my mood.
I guess she was quite angry with me for quiting my job and bringing my elder girl home to take care personally.
But her 'fees' so high, who can afford her 'professional care'?
She didn't like the idea that I'm living off my hubby, she wants me to work. After I quit, my hubby can no longer afford to pay her high maintenance allowance every month since we are left with a single income
if I wore the same dress to her house twice, she will make comment like why I always wear the same dress. Go market to buy new dress lah, your husband need face, don't dress shabbily
huh? that's a branded dress ok, got taste or not? as if go market to buy dress will give my hubby more face? market ?? I shop at Zara (using my own $). my gosh ! see what I meant by picking on me?
anyway, after moving far far away, I see less of her so things are much better. just be polite lor
I'm glad I have daughters only. My mom adores her son-in-law
)Hi hippo, i wish i can be like you too, move far far away..hahah..but my hubby us is the only son so die die have to stay with my mil.
your mil too much leh, even child care is so much cheaper then her, and childcare still got read story to bb, listen to music, message, excercise and even water game etc and its only $600..
i knew things is gg to happen and it really happen liao lor, im that type also keep complaining to my hubby only and my hubby always ask me how come i dont want to say my mil back but to me i tot its very rude mah (even thoug my hb give me permission to talk back)...
but some times i did try to talk back to her but her "li yew" is more then "ba yew" man, i say 1 sentence only she can reply me 10Xs!!!!!...ai yo forget it man i wher got time to play to and fo game with her..so every time i let her win lor..only her son will scold her but i dont so she only got some repect for her son but not me...she always blasts up her TV whenever she is watching TV and guess what she did, she lower the volume when my hubby step at the doorway!!! (she lik tat my hubby will never see her "colour" and worst still if i complain to him he thot i want to find my mil "cha") she damn clever lor..she is "chao ji dien si mi" lor...she can switch on TV whole day!!! when ever our bills came, i also damn angry de lor..but wat to do...
so recently cos of cny my hubby was on leave and he finally see his own mother "colours" (thank god man)...and he also very angry and he scold my mil and who knows my mil flare up also and get angry (she is always so petty and she cannot lose one) and till today she is still angry (she act like 18yrs old like that, "da xiao jie pi qi") and now even say she is gg to malaysia, she will be leaving today and i wonder for how long (althoug bad lah but i really wish she say she not coming back leh..hahahha)...
whenever she not at home, i feel so damn peaceful and my bb can sleep so well too...i feel like i have unloaded a ton of weights off my shouder man...
hmmm, hi daryl's mum, i think hor, mil got more problem leh?? cos women with women mah...hahaha
your mil too much leh, even child care is so much cheaper then her, and childcare still got read story to bb, listen to music, message, excercise and even water game etc and its only $600..
i knew things is gg to happen and it really happen liao lor, im that type also keep complaining to my hubby only and my hubby always ask me how come i dont want to say my mil back but to me i tot its very rude mah (even thoug my hb give me permission to talk back)...
but some times i did try to talk back to her but her "li yew" is more then "ba yew" man, i say 1 sentence only she can reply me 10Xs!!!!!...ai yo forget it man i wher got time to play to and fo game with her..so every time i let her win lor..only her son will scold her but i dont so she only got some repect for her son but not me...she always blasts up her TV whenever she is watching TV and guess what she did, she lower the volume when my hubby step at the doorway!!! (she lik tat my hubby will never see her "colour" and worst still if i complain to him he thot i want to find my mil "cha") she damn clever lor..she is "chao ji dien si mi" lor...she can switch on TV whole day!!! when ever our bills came, i also damn angry de lor..but wat to do...
so recently cos of cny my hubby was on leave and he finally see his own mother "colours" (thank god man)...and he also very angry and he scold my mil and who knows my mil flare up also and get angry (she is always so petty and she cannot lose one) and till today she is still angry (she act like 18yrs old like that, "da xiao jie pi qi") and now even say she is gg to malaysia, she will be leaving today and i wonder for how long (althoug bad lah but i really wish she say she not coming back leh..hahahha)...
whenever she not at home, i feel so damn peaceful and my bb can sleep so well too...i feel like i have unloaded a ton of weights off my shouder man...
hmmm, hi daryl's mum, i think hor, mil got more problem leh?? cos women with women mah...hahaha
hi mummies,
Much empathy to those suffering under the hands of PIL. Thank god i dun hv this problem cos my MIL is the bo chap type. She never once offer to look aft my bb, she very gd at acting blur and busy.
One tot: our children learn by example. How we as parents treat our elders, they will learn frm us and treat us accordingly wen we grow old. I say this cos my hb and his bro treat their mother very badly. Always shout at her impatiently even wen she show concern for them,like ask them if they wan mre soup, they will either 1)ignore her, which makes her repeat the Q then 2)Shout "DUN WAN, DUN WAN"! like she make them drink poison like tat.
Now my BIL's girl in pri 1 oso treat her grandma like tat. Very rude and shout at her instead of talking nicely. 1 question muz repeat many times b4 the girl ans. I'm always amazed at how disrespectful a small child her age can be.I wldn't wan my son to treat me this way wen he grows up lor!
So, for the sake of our kids upbringing, muz b AT LEAST respectful to our PIL,esp infront of our kids,even if our blood boiling inside. Muz REN lor..I noe itz easy for me to say only cos i dun hav this problem..juz my 2 cents worth..
Much empathy to those suffering under the hands of PIL. Thank god i dun hv this problem cos my MIL is the bo chap type. She never once offer to look aft my bb, she very gd at acting blur and busy.
One tot: our children learn by example. How we as parents treat our elders, they will learn frm us and treat us accordingly wen we grow old. I say this cos my hb and his bro treat their mother very badly. Always shout at her impatiently even wen she show concern for them,like ask them if they wan mre soup, they will either 1)ignore her, which makes her repeat the Q then 2)Shout "DUN WAN, DUN WAN"! like she make them drink poison like tat.
Now my BIL's girl in pri 1 oso treat her grandma like tat. Very rude and shout at her instead of talking nicely. 1 question muz repeat many times b4 the girl ans. I'm always amazed at how disrespectful a small child her age can be.I wldn't wan my son to treat me this way wen he grows up lor!
So, for the sake of our kids upbringing, muz b AT LEAST respectful to our PIL,esp infront of our kids,even if our blood boiling inside. Muz REN lor..I noe itz easy for me to say only cos i dun hav this problem..juz my 2 cents worth..
Hi Sungrapes,
not all mil is as good as your mil...
ofcourse we shout at mil for reasons and not for no reasons. everyone gets equal punishment be it if u are young or old..if children learn from example, the more we must tell her wat is right and wat is wrong..
we have told my mil alot of time but yet time and again she is doing it again and again..if we going to ignore it, then it will be worst if nx time my girl ask me if grandma can make noise when somone is sleeping, why cant i? if grandma can fa "da xiao jie pi qi" why cant i?
as old ppl get even older, they will behave like young kids, then you have to use the same way like you teach a young children, if soft approach cant help then have to use the hard way..my mil get scold by my hb till she go malaysia is bcos of her own personality, she cannot be defeat and want to act like a child and leave the house then she have to go and think about it if we are in the wrong or she is in the wrong..
doesnt mean my mil is wrong we must show respect also, like that when children grow up, when she know the other party is wrong, she wont dare to voice out also, she will still continue to show respect..
anything we do will affect the children so the more we must show them what is right and what is wrong and not just telling them to show respectful that simple..
i think the rest of the mummies here will wish to have a mil like yours
not all mil is as good as your mil...
ofcourse we shout at mil for reasons and not for no reasons. everyone gets equal punishment be it if u are young or old..if children learn from example, the more we must tell her wat is right and wat is wrong..
we have told my mil alot of time but yet time and again she is doing it again and again..if we going to ignore it, then it will be worst if nx time my girl ask me if grandma can make noise when somone is sleeping, why cant i? if grandma can fa "da xiao jie pi qi" why cant i?
as old ppl get even older, they will behave like young kids, then you have to use the same way like you teach a young children, if soft approach cant help then have to use the hard way..my mil get scold by my hb till she go malaysia is bcos of her own personality, she cannot be defeat and want to act like a child and leave the house then she have to go and think about it if we are in the wrong or she is in the wrong..
doesnt mean my mil is wrong we must show respect also, like that when children grow up, when she know the other party is wrong, she wont dare to voice out also, she will still continue to show respect..
anything we do will affect the children so the more we must show them what is right and what is wrong and not just telling them to show respectful that simple..
i think the rest of the mummies here will wish to have a mil like yours
michelle.nglh
Member
Hi all,
This is my first time reading this topics and it interests me. So tempting to write my story.
I married to my hubby on Nov 99 and moved into his hse which had to stay wif my PIL. I finally moved out in July 05 after my 2nd birth. During my 5 yrs and 8 mths wif my MIL, definitely there's quarrels and cries wif my hb. My elder son (6yrs old) likes to cry easily, sometimes I think it's becos I always cried during my pregnancy. And now I feels so relief having my own home.
I'm actually getting quite well along wif my MIL now after moving out. So I really feel that it's better not to stay wif them as I really needs alot of patience and tolerance.
Now my 2 kids are taking care of my own mum, definitely sometimes we will have some argument. But it will resolve afterall she's my mum.
This is my first time reading this topics and it interests me. So tempting to write my story.
I married to my hubby on Nov 99 and moved into his hse which had to stay wif my PIL. I finally moved out in July 05 after my 2nd birth. During my 5 yrs and 8 mths wif my MIL, definitely there's quarrels and cries wif my hb. My elder son (6yrs old) likes to cry easily, sometimes I think it's becos I always cried during my pregnancy. And now I feels so relief having my own home.
I'm actually getting quite well along wif my MIL now after moving out. So I really feel that it's better not to stay wif them as I really needs alot of patience and tolerance.
Now my 2 kids are taking care of my own mum, definitely sometimes we will have some argument. But it will resolve afterall she's my mum.
jus want to say something here. To be fair not ALL MILs are like that.
i, for one, appreciate and am thankful my PIL come over to stay with us since my bb was born 3 months ago. My MIL helps in which ever way she can and she will not impose her views on us. there will always be differences in opinions and views but all it takes is communication. Also, hubby has to be supportive and we all are 'to the matter, not personal'. I told my mil personally i am thankful they are around.
so have faith and good luck.
i, for one, appreciate and am thankful my PIL come over to stay with us since my bb was born 3 months ago. My MIL helps in which ever way she can and she will not impose her views on us. there will always be differences in opinions and views but all it takes is communication. Also, hubby has to be supportive and we all are 'to the matter, not personal'. I told my mil personally i am thankful they are around.
so have faith and good luck.
xpink_xuanx
Member
me always have conflicts with inlaws.
what i mean was not only MIL, even FIL and SIL i also have conflicts with them.
Its not easy to get along with them especially we are the same 'animal' year.
All of us are 'rabbit year'.
i believe in this though.
i really hope that my hubby can work hard and we can move out asap.
what i mean was not only MIL, even FIL and SIL i also have conflicts with them.
Its not easy to get along with them especially we are the same 'animal' year.
All of us are 'rabbit year'.
i believe in this though.
i really hope that my hubby can work hard and we can move out asap.
Wah...so many horror stories.. really chilling..especially tortise and Janie.. I dunno if I can tahan if I were you ladies.
For me, I insisted to hub that we get our own place and not stay with my ILs.
My PIL are not the typical housewife, ah pek type. They are both working professionals. Though both have retired, they used to hold high ranking positions in the companies they worked for. Many of you may think that, at least these educated folks will not give problems or be dirty.
Well, they do give a different set of problems all together. Used to telling people what to do, they will tell me what to do with my baby. Very bossy and demanding
MIL will also talk to baby loudy, saying things like "wah..so hot the weather, you want to bathe right? Nobody bother to bathe you.." (hinting to me). Then when I get the hint and try to bathe baby, she will stand behind me and see how I do it, and she will bark her orders at me while I bathe baby, ordering me to use various stuff on baby, before, during and after the bath. Wah...really very hot loh. But control cos of Hub. Lots of stories lah.. i think one book not enough...haiz
We will go back and stay at ILs place when MIL has off days. Those will be the most dreaded days in my life. However, I must admit that my relationship with my ILs improved tremendously cos of Baby. They simply adore her...
As to how I solve the problem pertaining to ILs taking care of bb? I sent her to infant care when she was two months old. I feel that its better cos the people there are professionals in childcare. Though its expensive..it really cut down on the amount of conflict
For me, I insisted to hub that we get our own place and not stay with my ILs.
My PIL are not the typical housewife, ah pek type. They are both working professionals. Though both have retired, they used to hold high ranking positions in the companies they worked for. Many of you may think that, at least these educated folks will not give problems or be dirty.
Well, they do give a different set of problems all together. Used to telling people what to do, they will tell me what to do with my baby. Very bossy and demanding
MIL will also talk to baby loudy, saying things like "wah..so hot the weather, you want to bathe right? Nobody bother to bathe you.." (hinting to me). Then when I get the hint and try to bathe baby, she will stand behind me and see how I do it, and she will bark her orders at me while I bathe baby, ordering me to use various stuff on baby, before, during and after the bath. Wah...really very hot loh. But control cos of Hub. Lots of stories lah.. i think one book not enough...haiz
We will go back and stay at ILs place when MIL has off days. Those will be the most dreaded days in my life. However, I must admit that my relationship with my ILs improved tremendously cos of Baby. They simply adore her...
As to how I solve the problem pertaining to ILs taking care of bb? I sent her to infant care when she was two months old. I feel that its better cos the people there are professionals in childcare. Though its expensive..it really cut down on the amount of conflict
banque_suez
Member
living with MIL now and pregant. she keeps feeding me a lot of food and i have put on a lot of weight. she also keeps saying must eat more so her grandchild is fat and plump. i am really angry & sad cuz hubby supports her & not me!
xpink_xuanx
Member
babygal_1 : i think its true? haha.
xpink_xuanx
Member
banquez_suez : wah at least your mil keep feeding you food.
my MIL keep asking me dont eat so much and blah blah.
my MIL very wicked one =x
always tell ppl that i very fat and so on...
its been a long time, eversince i call my PIL, father and mother.
never bother to call.
my MIL keep asking me dont eat so much and blah blah.
my MIL very wicked one =x
always tell ppl that i very fat and so on...
its been a long time, eversince i call my PIL, father and mother.
never bother to call.
missylan
Active Member
Oh my god... so many many monster-in-law. Think different families different lifestyles. Hope we will not turn out to like one next time. Think we will never know whether we will or not. Some love their son so much that they become jealous, others just cannot bear the idea that they need to accept a new "member".
I have great in-laws!
The most important thing is not to overly badmouthing your in-laws. Anyhow, he is still their son. Best is to avoid lor, cannot avoid then leave before anything happens.
I have great in-laws!
The most important thing is not to overly badmouthing your in-laws. Anyhow, he is still their son. Best is to avoid lor, cannot avoid then leave before anything happens.
wow been some time since i last posted & there r new DILS in tis thread! hehe..new stories to share/complain...but dunno where to start from..been so pek chek & realli sick of everything...yday almost quarreled with hub coz he tinks tat im rude to his mum. juz bcoz i did not look at her when she toks to mi...& not replying her...my hub actualli accused mi of doing it in purpose..but i swear i did not..coz tats mi & my attitude mah..he shld noe im lydat all the while. but i did acknowledge wat she told mi by nodding my head...somemore im eating my dinner..& engross with tv. he always tink im the bad guy..but he dunno tat i m always the person who were asked to eat the leftover food by their family...& when they can managed to finish all the HO LIAO means there will b no leftover & means theres no dinner 4 mi...
oh tats not all...i suspect tat there were times when she did not bathe my bb for a consecutive 2days or more...MY GOODNESS.....all she did was ask the maid to use wet handkerchief to wipe my bb! hai...i noe coz i realise tat bb was still wearing the same clothes as the day before so i asked my maid & she say yes..mil did not bathe bb...
disneymickey
New Member
Hi,
have been reading the 'interesting' stories,make me buay tahan,must write my own story here.been married for 6yrs b4 i had my bb last yr.not staying w IL,only visit them once every weekend.didn't hav any problem before.my BIL had a bb 5 mths b4 me,my MIL dote on the 1st grandson more than my girl,since she took care of him since birth cos they were staying together.when the boy is not ard,she'll 'pretend' to dote on my daughter, but when the boy is ard, she can easily/conveniently 'forget' abt my girl. 1 example: when my girl was abt 3mths,& we visited 1 weekend, she happily carried her & say wan to bathe her,ok lor,let her bathe lor.then after bathing,while drying her, she put on diapers for her,then the boy came back & my BIL say the boy needs a bath 2.so MIL immediately dropped my girl & go bathe the boy! c'mon,my girl is still not dressed fully yet ok!! was so angry.complained to my hubby.hubby oso realized that his mom dotes on the boy more so he oso told her off directly.
have been reading the 'interesting' stories,make me buay tahan,must write my own story here.been married for 6yrs b4 i had my bb last yr.not staying w IL,only visit them once every weekend.didn't hav any problem before.my BIL had a bb 5 mths b4 me,my MIL dote on the 1st grandson more than my girl,since she took care of him since birth cos they were staying together.when the boy is not ard,she'll 'pretend' to dote on my daughter, but when the boy is ard, she can easily/conveniently 'forget' abt my girl. 1 example: when my girl was abt 3mths,& we visited 1 weekend, she happily carried her & say wan to bathe her,ok lor,let her bathe lor.then after bathing,while drying her, she put on diapers for her,then the boy came back & my BIL say the boy needs a bath 2.so MIL immediately dropped my girl & go bathe the boy! c'mon,my girl is still not dressed fully yet ok!! was so angry.complained to my hubby.hubby oso realized that his mom dotes on the boy more so he oso told her off directly.
Hi...
Me stay with my in-laws.. they are great folks.. they help us a lot in taking care of my son and give great advise..
of course our views in certain things are different and i will talk to them about it.. try to solve it.. if not will talk to my hubby who will help us to solve it..
some of my friends' PIL are also pretty bad and nasty from what i heard.. but so far mine are okie..
agreed with all mommies.. plse do not spolit your relationship with hubby due to wicked parents in laws.. Family means Father & Mother I love you.. your babies need both Father n Mother..
try to establish and strengthen your relationship with hubby then gain support from there.. after all, hubbies are brought up by our In laws so naturally he side them..
All the best!!
Me stay with my in-laws.. they are great folks.. they help us a lot in taking care of my son and give great advise..
of course our views in certain things are different and i will talk to them about it.. try to solve it.. if not will talk to my hubby who will help us to solve it..
some of my friends' PIL are also pretty bad and nasty from what i heard.. but so far mine are okie..
agreed with all mommies.. plse do not spolit your relationship with hubby due to wicked parents in laws.. Family means Father & Mother I love you.. your babies need both Father n Mother..
try to establish and strengthen your relationship with hubby then gain support from there.. after all, hubbies are brought up by our In laws so naturally he side them..
All the best!!
Yeah, although our hubby is "ker lian" but they are the best person to talk it out with mil. we have to gain trust from them and show them who is wrong.
i have send my daugther to the infant care, althoug cant bear to but it helps in my relationship with my hubby, before that we have argue so many times till quite bad(almost d) and it make me hate my mil more and more!!!!
since then, i really cannot bring myself to forgive my mil, even till now when i see her, i dont talk to her too.
i think the hatred is really great!!
i have send my daugther to the infant care, althoug cant bear to but it helps in my relationship with my hubby, before that we have argue so many times till quite bad(almost d) and it make me hate my mil more and more!!!!
since then, i really cannot bring myself to forgive my mil, even till now when i see her, i dont talk to her too.
i think the hatred is really great!!
disneymickey
New Member
Hi girl girl,
i agree w u,lucky thing is our hubby got 'eyes' to c how his parents behave.no need us to blackmouth.i always think my MIL bias against my nephew.even on my girl's birthday,she oso 'bochap' my girl but concentrate on my BIL's son.then on that night, my hubby is the one who told me his mom very obvious bias.i say i know,but dun wan to tell him,lucky he sees it himself.he say,as long as she doesn't neglect my girl when carrying her,it's ok,don't expect her to dote on my girl.but i still feel buay song.both oso your grandchildren wat,y so bias rt?
i agree w u,lucky thing is our hubby got 'eyes' to c how his parents behave.no need us to blackmouth.i always think my MIL bias against my nephew.even on my girl's birthday,she oso 'bochap' my girl but concentrate on my BIL's son.then on that night, my hubby is the one who told me his mom very obvious bias.i say i know,but dun wan to tell him,lucky he sees it himself.he say,as long as she doesn't neglect my girl when carrying her,it's ok,don't expect her to dote on my girl.but i still feel buay song.both oso your grandchildren wat,y so bias rt?
squirrelbebe
New Member
Hi there to all,
Woah!!! wat a thread i find. Its really wonderful for us to let off our steam of our MIL !!!
My Monster in law invited herself to stay with me after my hubby and i got married. Intitally i ask her if she would like to stay wz us as my hubby is the only son and she is a divorcee, her reply than was no as she wants us to be on our own.
Fine, i was vey happy than sa i dun think i could stay wz her for long. However 6 months to our marriage she yold us that she got lao ren zhi dai zhen and she wants to stay with us. I was like what????? she seems perfetly fine for me. Well.... ok we let her came over, she rented her house out and on top of that we still have to gave her a monthly allowances whic she did not spent a single cent on the household as we paid for the utillities, groceries and everything you can think of.
Things take a turn for the worst when i got pregnant, she di dnot really take care of me and despite my morning sickness and my senses change she could still ignore me and continue her way of doing things. eg: i was afraid of teh fish smell and it really make me throw up when i smell it, she told me that she needs to eat fish everyday as that is her favourite adn she continue to cook it everyday despite me throwing up. FYI i was carrying her first and only grandchild than as her daughter refused to talk to her. God!!!!!! Things took a turn for worst when i gave birth and during my confinment.... I must raelly agreed that MIL are the roots for most quarrels and fights we had with our hubby.
There are more horrible things to said which i think i can ctn writing onm and on ...
Wat i would like to conclude is that, talk to your hubby nicely like what i did as i di not want our marriage to suffer becus of MIL.
Ciao and looking forward to hear soon.
Woah!!! wat a thread i find. Its really wonderful for us to let off our steam of our MIL !!!
My Monster in law invited herself to stay with me after my hubby and i got married. Intitally i ask her if she would like to stay wz us as my hubby is the only son and she is a divorcee, her reply than was no as she wants us to be on our own.
Fine, i was vey happy than sa i dun think i could stay wz her for long. However 6 months to our marriage she yold us that she got lao ren zhi dai zhen and she wants to stay with us. I was like what????? she seems perfetly fine for me. Well.... ok we let her came over, she rented her house out and on top of that we still have to gave her a monthly allowances whic she did not spent a single cent on the household as we paid for the utillities, groceries and everything you can think of.
Things take a turn for the worst when i got pregnant, she di dnot really take care of me and despite my morning sickness and my senses change she could still ignore me and continue her way of doing things. eg: i was afraid of teh fish smell and it really make me throw up when i smell it, she told me that she needs to eat fish everyday as that is her favourite adn she continue to cook it everyday despite me throwing up. FYI i was carrying her first and only grandchild than as her daughter refused to talk to her. God!!!!!! Things took a turn for worst when i gave birth and during my confinment.... I must raelly agreed that MIL are the roots for most quarrels and fights we had with our hubby.
There are more horrible things to said which i think i can ctn writing onm and on ...
Wat i would like to conclude is that, talk to your hubby nicely like what i did as i di not want our marriage to suffer becus of MIL.
Ciao and looking forward to hear soon.
Mrs Chng
can empathise with you...
my hubby & I quarrelled so many times during my confinement when she was staying with us.
Other than that 2 months, my hubby & I quarrelled less than 5 times throughout our 7 year marriage. So MIL is a sure spark for creating conflicts.
I told my hubby we will surely end up in divorce if she continues to stay with us (not threatening him lah, just stating the obvious)
can empathise with you...
my hubby & I quarrelled so many times during my confinement when she was staying with us.
Other than that 2 months, my hubby & I quarrelled less than 5 times throughout our 7 year marriage. So MIL is a sure spark for creating conflicts.
I told my hubby we will surely end up in divorce if she continues to stay with us (not threatening him lah, just stating the obvious)