Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?

Hi yawn,
Not every child enjoys being challenged. Both my kids prefer to play all day or read their favourite books instead of studying
happy.gif


My boy's teacher also complained to me about him when we meet saying that he is sometimes quite naughty. However, I just received his report books and she only has good things to say about him, saying that he is a sweet and quiet boy hahaha I wonder if teachers only write good things in report books.
 


Hello mummies!

My P2 gal came in top 5 in her class- so next year, she will go into the top 4 classes out of total of 11 classes...even though P3 is not official streaming, NYPS practices banding kids young...

I also prefer for my gal to learn at her pace and not be overly challenged...the fun of learning a subject can easily be replaced with hatred...which she displayed for Chinese this year- I had to do a lot of coaxing as well as coaching sensitively....this is only at P2 level!

This year P2 results showed that average results is about 86-89 for the whole P2 cohort, so everyone does very well in NYPS!! Pressure for my younger gal starting P1 next year...sigh...
 
tamarind, fairy

I meant appropriately challenged, not overly challenged lah. If a child is already familar with say addition subtraction, it's kind of torturing to sit through and learn 2+2 all over again.
 
tam
there r many instances when trs r "asked" to change comments/grades.
their equation is good result= good/excellent conduct must be , cannot be fair......

u were right when u mentioned tat teaching in pri sch is not easy.....
 
Sorry was busy for the past week...

Tam,

It's not right what the teacher did, passing your number to another person to call - better clear the air with her and remind her of protocol? Teachers are usually euphemistic when writing comments. Rather than 'lazy/not motivated/inattentive' = 'is energetic and vicavcious... can do better with greater focus and determination...' Hahahaha... they always focus on the more positive aspects of the kid. UNLESS the kid is really recalcitrant and beyond control...
 
Hi Fairyprincess and yawn,

Congrats, your girls have done well.

Tam,
M sure your girl is doing well both non and academically .

Report book remarks.
Teachers always make the best remarks for the children.The only difference is the principal only write a personal remarks on the top few kids in whole level.

Have a good weekend.

Cheers,
Joy
 
Hello all,

This thread is quiet...

Anyone has gone for the p1 orientation?

My boy just had his today.

Din like what I see today and the crowd too.Guess its filled with uptown and kiasu parents.I dont remember last six years I see this.I guess maybe I was blind?

Rgds
Joy
 
Good morning mummies!

Joy- yes, I also went for P1 orientation yesterday- very chaotic- must really move fast to get uniforms etc cos of the crowd...parents were taking photos with their mobile phones of the class pupil name list...expected to be very kiasu at NYPS...I dun like it too....

Thinking of bringing kids to Universal Studios next week- but the weather forecast says showers are expected...sigh!
 
Hello Fairy,

Glad that you shared the same sentiments as me.I guess parents will mellow down maybe when kids are in p5 and p6.That was what happened to my girl's schoolmates parents.

Universal studio
Speculate the weather and see which day is the best...I noticed, if rained a few days, there bound to be the one day that is bright and shining....so prayed hard...have a nice trip there.

Cheers,
Joy
 
helen, mumusings, joy,
Thanks for sharing your insights about the comments in report books. I did not know that primary school teachers are required to write good comments. What if the student scored the highest marks but is a complete spoiled brat ? I don't think that I can write any good comments if I were the teacher.

joy, fairyprincess,
I remember sending my boy to his orientation last year, time flies !
Will you be taking time off on the first few days of school to observe your P1 kids in the canteen during recess ? I did that for both my kids, and the other parents were even more kan cheong.

fairyprincess,
Just make sure that you bring raincoat/umbrella. When it rains, you can go to those indoor attractions.
 
Hello Tam,

Spoilt brat will still get good comments.No one will get lousy remarks...

I am not sure whether I will be at the canteen for the recess.Maybe if am free?My boy is quite indept when come to buy food.I always ask him to go and buy his favourite food at the hawker centre, speak in mandarin the food that is of special order, and I watch him from far.So, he is quite comfortable in buying food.

Maybe I should observe how he gets along wif friends.I observed there is one very hyper kid.I just hope my boy doesnt provoke him or get into trouble.That boy was screaming away during the orientation.

Cheers,
Joy
 
Hi mommies,
Have you heard of the wolf father from China ?

http://www.globaltimes.cn/NEWS/tabid/99/ID/684629/Tough-love-from-Chinas-wolf-father.aspx
"Chinese-American author Amy Chua made headlines earlier this year for her memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother that argued why Chinese mothers are superior. Now, it appears Chinese fathers are also superior. Hong Kong businessman and self-proclaimed "wolf father" Xiao Baiyou has written a book about his tough love parenting approach titled Therefore, Peking University Siblings. Xiao extols the virtues of giving your kid a clip over the ear and explains why the best parenting is usually dished out with a belt to the buttocks. He admits that beating your children every three days will get them accepted into China's most prestigious university, Peking University."


In China, getting in Peking University seems to be proof that your parenting skills are superb, like beating kids every 3 days. I heard that many parents send their kids to this wolf father to be taught using the same methods.

What do you think ? How would you measure the success of your parenting skills ?
Choose one of the following :
You are a very successful parent when your kid
A. gets into prestigious secondary school / universities
B. becomes a doctor, lawyer, banker
C. wins many medals in maths olympiad / sports / music / arts etc
D. earns a very high salary and wears branded goods all over
E. takes care of you when you are old even though he/she does not earn much money
 
joy,
Your boy is good ! My boy never wanted to buy anything on his own before P1. On the first 3 days, he had an older buddy who took very good care of him and showed him how to buy things, so I was relieved.

Was that boy screaming because he did not want to go to school ?
I remember that I saw a boy who refused to enter the school and his mother had to drag him, he was very fat so the mother had a very hard time.
 
Hi Tam,

Thanks.At first, he was unwilling but I told him if he wants to eat, he better learnt how to buy it himself.So, since last year, he has been buying food himself.

There will be a buddy guiding them for the first few days in school too.

That boy who was screaming , I guess he is with ADHD.Its quite a common thing in singapore.Can see that the parents are trying not to provoke him.

While writing it, am worried cos my girl's class also has one.He can use knife etc want to cut people.Teacher all scared of him.My girl hair was always pulled by him too.There was once, he threw my girl wallet into the dustbin...so, my girl learnt how to stay away from him cos no one can handle him.
 
Hi Tam/ Fairyprincess,

Your gal has done very well
happy.gif


Hi Joy,

It will be my turn to attend orientation next year.

Buying food - I am trying to train my K1 DD to buy simple things like bread/ cake or kway-kway. No hot food yet. I will give her a $2 note and ask her to pay and get back the appropriate change. Will train her to buy hot food next year when she is older.

My DD's class in CC has a classmate whom is autustic. He has been with them for more than 2 yrs now. The teachers/ principal controlled him quite well and so far he can get along with the class pretty well. I think its due to the rather small class size that the teachers can control him. She has 2 teachers in her class of 14.

I guess it is the joint efforts of both parents & teachers to tame such kids which can be a very handful as the teacher has a class of more than 30 to take care of.
 
Good morning mummies:

Tam- to your question- my definition of being a successful parent is if my child exhibits all of your points i.e. getting good academic grades; having a good career path; ability to create wealth and having good heart/ humility =) Yes, I am quite greedy- but obviously, getting good grades is not the only way to a successful life...

Joy- good luck for the PSLE results- I can imagine the level of anticipation...

Snowball- enjoy K2 before P1...cos moving to P1 is the next stage of a child's life...

Holiday activities for Primary school kids- what do your kids do to occupy themselves over the long nov-dec hols???
My kids:
- borrow lots of books from the library
- do assessment books
- regular enrichment class e.g. chinese; ballet; piano; swimming
- start new fun class e.g. in-line skating
- play computer; IPad2
- some short trips to neighbouring countries

Time seems to be not well spent....Maybe I need to give more home work??
 
Hi Tam,

My answer will be E. No money can buy success if kids abandon their parents. If my millionaire intelligent son abandons me, I'm a total failure as a parent!
 
hi Tam
me choose E. heehee guess a few of us share the same view of a successful parent!

btw, i borrowed a book "Playful Parenting" and would like to recommend to all who come into contact or work with children. Very interesting. I tried a few mthds n managed to "resolve" some power struggling i face with my gals(wat to do, mummy also strong headed!)
the author is Lawrence J. Cohen
 
re: holiday plans


My dd1 is taking still life sketching class this holiday. twice a week. After class we go shop shop, so quite easy to spend time.

Attended the 1st lesson yesterday & now a little regretting my decision to sign her up. Train crowded, shopping center also crowded, very sian to leave the house. I find it quite tiring, so many lessons means I have to leave the house so many times! I'm really a STAY at home person, hehe

Bought some christmas song music book for dd2. So she's practising X'mas songs for the season.

Plan to hold a gathering at home for my kids' classmates. Small group tibits party

Oh, I asked them to practise their respective musical instrument daily, do 1 page of theory daily, and of course read plenty of storybooks

Bought many storybooks during expo sales last time, some still gathering dust. So no need to go library, already have a library at home
 
tamarind

Of course I choose E lah. My number 1 target is to brainwash them to treat me like the empress. Not 100% sucess yet, I still feel like the maid sometimes
 
Mumusings,

Well said and I also will go for E as my choice.

Fairy,
Thanks, crossing my fingers and toes.I guess no matter how consistent, be it average, good or poor, when comes to psle results, more or less will feel that the heart is pounding...cos we never know.

Yawn,
Me dislike crowds too.

Snowball
Enjoy your k2 with your child.I din enjoy much though cos was busy dealing wif the psle batter.Its over and now waiting for verdict.

Cheers,
Joy
 
Hi mommies, back from HK.

Re the MCQ, I will choose E too, though I hope my gal will still earn enough to enjoy life rather than having to scrimp and save and get her electricity cut off periodically.

Last week HK is hot, like SG! hahaha... went to see pink dolphins near TUng Chung pier, OP, DL. Didn't buy anything for myself. DD wanted to be carried all the time. Gosh!
 
Hi Tam,

Answer E + kid grows up to find a right spouse and start a happy healthy family if there's another option. Right spouse not in terms of $$ but wholesome character. Agree with Bloom that wealth isn't important but earning enough to support own lifestyle/family.
 
Hi Joy,

I think parents shouldn't send severe-ADHD+autistic kids to a mainstream school 'cos staff and students can't handle >> will lead to alienation and worsen the condition of the kid. I've been to visit a special needs school and it's really alot of effort to train and engage these kids. Teacher-student ratio has to be kept low and staff must have adequate training. Already I was feeling very emotionally drained from that one visit - can imagine the toll on parents/staff.

When I was relief-teaching in a primary school, I saw how frightening it was with severely ADHD + autustic kids even though they were not in my class. One of them would walk around the class, switch off fans/lights/projector as and when he likes etc. No one dares to go near him or scold him in case he gets violent. A colleague didn't know about this boy and ticked him off for loitering and so the kid went on a rampage switching off every single switch in sight and screaming as he did so. Sadly, his parents insisted he was normal. I pity the boy because everyone avoided him like plague and it was impossible to control when there's school assembly and events - he'd wander off along the corridor, open/close doors and always a teacher assigned to follow him about just in case anything happens. He was already about 1.5m tall, couldn't write his name and totally doesn't look at teachers in the eye or comprehend what we were saying. Failed every single subject but parents insisted on keeping him in primary school and letting him repeat until the maximum limit.

My only encounter teaching one autistic boy was very traumatic. Very obedient, sweet and subdued but I felt so helpless because he had zero for every test when I wass there for a month! He enjoyed lessons, will laugh and sing but stare blankly at test papers and during spelling etc. No amount of coaching can get in because he was in Primary 5 but standard of a kindergarten (can only write name + spell wrongly). That really set me thinking alot about our education system. It's alot better now, with more schools to cater to these kids and parents being more informed of options for early intervention.

Parents who do not address kid's problems and self-delude are very selfish! Hope I don't offend anyone by typing the above.
 
Hi mommies,
Thanks for sharing. E is most important to all of us. Even if a child enters the most prestigious university and gets a very high paying job, he may just leave you and never see you again.

My auntie, now 70+ years old, loves her son very much. The son studied all the way to phD in Mathematics. He recently got married, and his mother gave him $300K cash to help pay for his new flat. The shocking thing is that the son did not tell his mother the address of his new flat ! Now his mother does not even know where he is living with his wife.
My auntie is still working at a food court now, collecting dirty dishes.
 
Hi mommies,
I am happy to know that this year's PSLE top scholar is from Rulang, a neighbourhood school in Jurong West. This shows that if the child works hard, it does not matter which school he/she goes to.
 
Hi mumusings,
I have also encountered a boy in P5 who cannot sit still for even 10 seconds. He was constantly moving and talking to himself. Even when I put him at the far corner of the classroom, he constantly made a lot of noise and was very disruptive to the class. I was really frustrated but I could not do anything to him because I was only there as a parent volunteer, helping to look after the class when the teacher was not around.

I do agree that the teachers/principal should advise the parents to put the kids in special needs school, it is better than let the child being ostracised by other kids.

However, may be some parents cannot send their kids to special schools because the school is far away or cost too much ? Perhaps every primary school should have a special class so that these kids can be separated from the rest and well taken care of ?
 
Hi Tam,

Yes, totally agreed.she is very motivated and blessed with a fantastic form teacher, that takes three subjects.Mrs Tan is fantastic.
 
Hi Joy,

Can tell from your posting that you must have been very satisfied with your DD's results
happy.gif


Hi Mumusing/ Tam - I totally agree that kids with special needs should attend special schools as the cirriculum are catered to suit the learning requirements of such kids. However, I have spoken to a few parents of kids with such disabilities that the educational support for such kids in S'pore is still not so good, when even compared to countries like Thailand. I have a friend whose son is autustic, sent her son to special school but, progressing very slowly. Her hb got an overseas job posting to Bangkok and whole family shifted there. She feedback that the special needs school support there is much better and her son has seen tremendous improvement after being with them for 1 yr plus. Cost wise, BKK is also much cheaper. They were there for the past 10yrs and recently came back. Can tell that her son has improved a lot. Hopefully, the new Education Minister will do more to help such kids.
 
Hello Snowball,

Thank you and she has done well, good enough to go into her dream school.

Tam
Thanks for sharing my joy.Have sent another pm to you.

Cheers
 
Hi Joy,

Happy for you - don't let DSA and pre-entry stuff put kids down. Intelligent and hardworking kids will see their efforts pay off with consistent work.

Hope your daughter enjoys the rest of the break before she starts looking for a nice bag and new stationery for the next new phase in her life
happy.gif


I remember being so happy and refreshed after PSLE results and posting. So many years passed but very vivid in my mind, wondering what new friends and teachers I'll get etc.
 
snowball,
Recently there were news reports about special schools, MOE is looking into the issue. But then we don't know how long it will take them to implement.
 
mumusings,
I remember that I totally did not experience any stress at all during PSLE. My parents never set any targets for me. I cannot even remember how much time I spent studying for it. When I received my PSLE results, I was top in my no-name primary school and entered RGS. I remember that my father waited for me outside my school on his motorcycle, he was happy when I told him my results, but not exhilarated.

Things are so different now. PSLE is so important because it determines whether kids get into IP schools or not. Kids who failed to get into IP schools are considered to have lost the chance to get into university. I heard about kids crying even though they scored above 260, and the girl who lost so much weight she is now only 28 kg.
 
Joy

Congratulations to you and your dd! You must be very happy for her
happy.gif


Mumusings

Where did you buy the takeaway dim sum? Looks nice.
 
Hi Tam, Mumusings, Muffin,
Thanks once again.

Yes, psle is actually the chance for a child to choose the school based on merits these days.Pri school, parents can help, but comes to secondary school, its really not up to parents to do the homework.

Glad that we have crossed the first hurdle.Told her must continue to work hard.

Cheers
 
Congrats Joy!

Tam
for special schs there is always a looo...nng..... waiting list. if a child is "not special enough", the parent has no choice but send the child to normal sch. They do have diagnostic tests. only "serious enough" case can be admitted. yes our education system has still a lot to catch up on this area.... engaging suitable candidates for teaching posts is another challenge....
look at the many trs who victimise students and those who join becos of the wrong reasons sigh...

i am going back to work soon, dunno if i can juggle between work and family, geezz..... another big phase in my life.....
 
Hi Tam,

Yes, I only had general tuition (by neighbour's sister) and no stress. Just did assessment books and school papers my mom brought back. During PSLE week, I went shopping and house-hunting with my dad to relax. No reactions whatsoever to the results I got because I think they know I just want to get to my choice #1 school and I did. So I got a holiday overseas as a treat and excitedly read up Sec 1 texts just to see what Geography and History was about.

After getting the results - surprising my mom offered to be with me (guess she hid her anxiety till that day?)... her reaction was "ok - mei2 you3 fan1 chuan2 jiu4 hao3' (translated: ok - so long as your boat didn't capsize, poetic right?)Think she's always underestimated me and so had nothing to say when I got my 3A* and 1A. Not bad, considering I was almost in the pits in Primary 5 and was sent to the worse class in Primary 6?

Well, those were the carefree days. Pity our kids won't get to enjoy them as much. Let's hope for more good change to the general system and syllabus.
 


Hi Helen,

Enjoy December before term starts
happy.gif
Stay focused and things will be fine. Tell family not to call/sms unless there's a dire need to? You're going to teach full-time or on those flexi/contract/adjunct schemes?

Hi Muffin,

Wow haven't heard from you for a long while! How's things at home? Dimsum was from a stall at Marine Parade hawker centre... not familiar with the East. The one near Parkway Parade. Better to go on weekdays/offpeak - not so stuffy and crowded. Be pepared to wait if there's a long queue. Worth every bit of the price and happy not to need to put up with restaurants that are dialect-centric and only mean to serve regulars/angmohs/same-dialect customers.
 
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