14yearsgone
New Member
Hi all...
We married on 2003, we got 3 kids together. I never work before,graduate and married him and become a housewife. All these years, he also never gave me money or let me have my own saving. He will pass me a few hundreds and i need to wrote down what i spent and he will pass me money again and so on.
Life was ok even everyday always argue about money never enough.
My husband never want to buy any HDB or unit here. We always rent and stay in a condo,because he doesnt want to stay in HDB too. He is working for his wealthy parents at China every months for 18 days and he will back in town for at least 14 days before he go back to China again.
Since last year dec,on my bday he sent me the house hold bills! and asked me to shrimp on everything!i dnt have any make up,any luxury branded items,etc, yet he still asked me to be more frugal and early January i felt something wrong with him. He is not willing to spent any single cents on family anymore. Even go out for family outing to river safari, i have to use my son's red pocket money. CNY he doesnt take us to go out eat at restaurant which normally we always go out eat. He also always busy,he said he want to do something great before his 40th birthday on april.
The most on February and March,basically he is gone at 6.30am to sent kids to school,he said very nicely that he asked me to sleep more so he sent kids to school and followed by so many excuses like busy or going to temple for pray and many meetings and will show up at home after midnight!
I never suspected him because he always reply my whatsapp very fast and always sent me pics with all the friends he met up.I also busy taking care my 3 kids and fetch them from school and ferry them to tuitions.
On end of feb,he said he need go back to china for work and first he told me that he will be back again soon because we going to move to new house on early April and he only show up end of march for one weeks and still same pattern,morning gone sent kids to school and this time even worst,come back after 2-3am in the morning! And he gone again to China and left me and helper and kids to move house alone and he only gave me very little money to move house.
He show up on the 12nd april and im really mad,i cant handle my emotion anymore,i flare up and asked to divorce,actually that time i only pretend to scare him,he never agree and he keep telling me many stories and many lies. My in laws come to visit our new place a few days after he home and again he busy everyday with his parents.
But somehow i felt something wrong,i checked his passport and i found out that he back in town on 7th march but he never show up at home,he show up at home on 22nd march! where is he goes then?
so we keep argue and i keep asking whats going on,he never want to tell me,he said everything is over and that woman he sent back to China. Then he go back to china on 25th april until now he doesnt bother to call me or check on kids and he only gave us 2.5k for food,transport and buy kids things which are not enough.
while he at china,i keep digging and trying to find out whatever i can, before he left,he format our desktop and now everything gone,nothing left for me to check, he took away the phone bills and he change his mobile number. Later on i found out that woman already miscarriage and they went to holiday on 27th march till 11st april and spent 6k! and he bought that woman many branded items, the receipts that i can trace back already cost more then 30k within one months!! im really going crazy to found out all of this. I married him 14 years, i dnt have anything not even the paper bag, he bought that woman cartier love ring and love bangle,pandora,gucci,LV, etc. He so cunning,nothing under his name,he using his mom's credit card.
He doesnt paid my son's tuition money for two months,so i cant tahan and i made a call to my in laws and told them about their son. They said they will come in town and i waited more then 3 weeks,they still havent show up. They said they will come on early June. But because i made that call,my husband very angry and he wanted to divorce me now. He blocked me on his wechat and never bother to call or sms me or kids anymore.
After 14 years of our marriage,he told me that our marriage paper is fake because we marriage at abroad.
I told him,if not for kids i will be jump from the building already and he still told me if i wanna do that,make sure i really dead,because he wont pay for my medical bills.
I got no saving,he sent me money only $500 by $500, no property here too.
He also declare bankrupt since 2013. What should i do now? he doesnt bother to answer my call and all he said now that he is done with me. he want to treat me as a free nanny,he said i should be greatful for not sleeping on the street right now.so he asked me to be an uber mom. he asked me to work now,because he only will pay for my food and shelter and in the return i need to take care 3 kids.
I dont have money to hire lawyer and he is bankrupt here, if i divorce him now,what will i get?
but im felt in pain and the betrayal hurt me most. I even helped him pay his debt and i sold all my golds too.
For the sake of my 3 young kids,i dnt want divorce but i also cant accepted he treat me like this.
I wanted to move back to china but he doesnt allow me. he said if i dnt want take care kids,he can take kids back to china but he doesnt let me follow. he asked me to go back to my home town. Both of us are Singaporean since 10 years ago.
What he offer me now only that he will pay my condo rental and will pay for everything like kids tuition etc but he wont give me any single cent,except for food money. so if i need to buy anything,i need to go out and work. basically he only want to give me food and place to stay because i need to take care kids.
I felt really depressed and angry and sad. I have been talk to our neighborhood MP, she told me to ask for lump sum not given abit money day by day which he is not agree.The most he willing to send only $500 for food and transport and entertainment and buy kids things for one weeks.
Please give me some advise so i know what to do? also if i divorce,can he take the kids away from me? because i have no financial power while his parents are wealthy. Is that any place that i can go to ask for help? i have been to Police office, family justice court but not help me much.
Im alone here and im lost. Thank you so much for reading my rant. thank you
We married on 2003, we got 3 kids together. I never work before,graduate and married him and become a housewife. All these years, he also never gave me money or let me have my own saving. He will pass me a few hundreds and i need to wrote down what i spent and he will pass me money again and so on.
Life was ok even everyday always argue about money never enough.
My husband never want to buy any HDB or unit here. We always rent and stay in a condo,because he doesnt want to stay in HDB too. He is working for his wealthy parents at China every months for 18 days and he will back in town for at least 14 days before he go back to China again.
Since last year dec,on my bday he sent me the house hold bills! and asked me to shrimp on everything!i dnt have any make up,any luxury branded items,etc, yet he still asked me to be more frugal and early January i felt something wrong with him. He is not willing to spent any single cents on family anymore. Even go out for family outing to river safari, i have to use my son's red pocket money. CNY he doesnt take us to go out eat at restaurant which normally we always go out eat. He also always busy,he said he want to do something great before his 40th birthday on april.
The most on February and March,basically he is gone at 6.30am to sent kids to school,he said very nicely that he asked me to sleep more so he sent kids to school and followed by so many excuses like busy or going to temple for pray and many meetings and will show up at home after midnight!
I never suspected him because he always reply my whatsapp very fast and always sent me pics with all the friends he met up.I also busy taking care my 3 kids and fetch them from school and ferry them to tuitions.
On end of feb,he said he need go back to china for work and first he told me that he will be back again soon because we going to move to new house on early April and he only show up end of march for one weeks and still same pattern,morning gone sent kids to school and this time even worst,come back after 2-3am in the morning! And he gone again to China and left me and helper and kids to move house alone and he only gave me very little money to move house.
He show up on the 12nd april and im really mad,i cant handle my emotion anymore,i flare up and asked to divorce,actually that time i only pretend to scare him,he never agree and he keep telling me many stories and many lies. My in laws come to visit our new place a few days after he home and again he busy everyday with his parents.
But somehow i felt something wrong,i checked his passport and i found out that he back in town on 7th march but he never show up at home,he show up at home on 22nd march! where is he goes then?
so we keep argue and i keep asking whats going on,he never want to tell me,he said everything is over and that woman he sent back to China. Then he go back to china on 25th april until now he doesnt bother to call me or check on kids and he only gave us 2.5k for food,transport and buy kids things which are not enough.
while he at china,i keep digging and trying to find out whatever i can, before he left,he format our desktop and now everything gone,nothing left for me to check, he took away the phone bills and he change his mobile number. Later on i found out that woman already miscarriage and they went to holiday on 27th march till 11st april and spent 6k! and he bought that woman many branded items, the receipts that i can trace back already cost more then 30k within one months!! im really going crazy to found out all of this. I married him 14 years, i dnt have anything not even the paper bag, he bought that woman cartier love ring and love bangle,pandora,gucci,LV, etc. He so cunning,nothing under his name,he using his mom's credit card.
He doesnt paid my son's tuition money for two months,so i cant tahan and i made a call to my in laws and told them about their son. They said they will come in town and i waited more then 3 weeks,they still havent show up. They said they will come on early June. But because i made that call,my husband very angry and he wanted to divorce me now. He blocked me on his wechat and never bother to call or sms me or kids anymore.
After 14 years of our marriage,he told me that our marriage paper is fake because we marriage at abroad.
I told him,if not for kids i will be jump from the building already and he still told me if i wanna do that,make sure i really dead,because he wont pay for my medical bills.
I got no saving,he sent me money only $500 by $500, no property here too.
He also declare bankrupt since 2013. What should i do now? he doesnt bother to answer my call and all he said now that he is done with me. he want to treat me as a free nanny,he said i should be greatful for not sleeping on the street right now.so he asked me to be an uber mom. he asked me to work now,because he only will pay for my food and shelter and in the return i need to take care 3 kids.
I dont have money to hire lawyer and he is bankrupt here, if i divorce him now,what will i get?
but im felt in pain and the betrayal hurt me most. I even helped him pay his debt and i sold all my golds too.
For the sake of my 3 young kids,i dnt want divorce but i also cant accepted he treat me like this.
I wanted to move back to china but he doesnt allow me. he said if i dnt want take care kids,he can take kids back to china but he doesnt let me follow. he asked me to go back to my home town. Both of us are Singaporean since 10 years ago.
What he offer me now only that he will pay my condo rental and will pay for everything like kids tuition etc but he wont give me any single cent,except for food money. so if i need to buy anything,i need to go out and work. basically he only want to give me food and place to stay because i need to take care kids.
I felt really depressed and angry and sad. I have been talk to our neighborhood MP, she told me to ask for lump sum not given abit money day by day which he is not agree.The most he willing to send only $500 for food and transport and entertainment and buy kids things for one weeks.
Please give me some advise so i know what to do? also if i divorce,can he take the kids away from me? because i have no financial power while his parents are wealthy. Is that any place that i can go to ask for help? i have been to Police office, family justice court but not help me much.
Im alone here and im lost. Thank you so much for reading my rant. thank you
