Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

To the "seniors" out there, I need some help here. I have just gotten a Filipino maid to help take care of my twins. She is a transfer maid and had only 1 and 1/2 mth loan when I got her. I'd just given her her 1/2 mth pay abt 1 over week ago and she is asking for the $ to be remitted. Besides Singpost, where else can I go to? Hw else can I go abt it?

I was shocked to learn that the passport renewal is so ex.! My maid started to work for me in late Nov and her passport is expiring in May 2007. The agent didnt tell me about this!!!

Right fr the onset, I really didnt want to have maid. I considered all other options but all so ex (twins.. every available options also got to x2). In the end, got a maid thru an agent who is my dad's friend. Thot friend friend intro shld be ok.. they all lied! My maid said she only workd for 1 family, for 10 mths, before coming to my household. After reading this thread, I checked WP online and realisd that I am her 4th employer! I was quite unhappy with her.. imagine, she put my elder boy to sleep on her chest at night and tell me that my boy likes "to sleep on her breast" the next morning. I was fuming lor.. but lazy to re-train another maid. I have stopped her fr doing all the nonsense on my son. I always tell her that's my son not hers.. so follow what I said.

So much abt having more babies.. why infant care, child care all so expensive.. hai...
 


Hi Jlyn,

Cant help much on the remittance. My maids did theirs during their off days. Maids hv their own lobangs to remit $$.

On your maid's passport renewal, I wld either get the agency or the maid to pay for it. The "market rule" is such tat if a maid works for you for 2 contracts (after 4 years), then we'll pay for it. Unless u feel tat your maid super gd and u want to help her out.

Filipinos tend to hv more patterns. U hv to set them right from the beginning, else, it's very difficult to control.

Good Luck
 
mad bride,
my maid is an indo transfer maid, got her from another mummy on this forum. i was VERY lucky, cause when she posted that her maid avail for transfer, she mentioned that her maid has very good attitude and hardworking (which is very rare). alot of mummies were interested in her, so she got to interview all of us, then in the end she chose me.

my maid has 2 yrs exp in hongkong, and abt 3yrs in SIN, but i sincerely believe her good attitude and excellent work got nothing to do with the fact that she is transfer and with exp. i can see for myself that she is genuinely a good person with very good attitude towards work and ppl, and she is very respectful, cares abt others and is a fast learner.

jlyn,
i remit my maid's salary on her behalf. i stay in tampines, and there happens to be a remittance company near the interchange, so i just do it there. i heard POSB also have remittance svc, but not all branches. you may wanna call them up to check which branch has the svc.

you need to put a stop to all your maid's actions that you don't approve of. must be strict and firm with your maid. if she doesn't listen to you and continue to do the things you forbid her to, then just change maid.

for me hor, i don't allow my maid to sleep with my dd or put her to bed or down for nap. either me, hubby or my mum will do it.

in the beginning i also didn't allow my maid to change my dd's diapers leh! only abt 1mth back then i started to allow her to do it.

and till today my maid also has never bathed my dd yet - i don't allow her to, and i do it everyday. my dd's meals (lunch/dinner and milk feeds) also i feed her, my maid is only allowed to feed her during breakfast and snacks.

i am particular abt such things. firstly when kids are very very young they tend to bond easily with the person who does all these things for them, that's why i insist that either me, hubby or my mum does all these things, until my dd is much older.

also, i am particular abt how these things are done, so i make sure my maid observes how i do these things for mths before i will handover such duties to her.

and my maid knows how particular i am when it comes to my dd, so she always does things the way i want them done.
 
Just got my maid recently and this forum thread is very useful in providing so much useful info.
Still a little strange with another person at home...

Lani,
For remitance, how much are the charges usually? And how much you send on her behalf each time?
 
keann,
the charges is $15 per remittance, but after that got 25% discount, so ard $11+. my maid pays for the charges. the amount she remits varies, depends on how much her family needs. usually it's ard S$100. but there was once she asked me to remit almost everything she had, which was S$1250. i was quite shocked by the amount, so i asked her why so much? she didn't really give much details, she just said her dad needed it to pay for housing or land, or something like that. i didn't ask any further, cause it's not my business and besides it's her money.
 
hallo mummies, my baby arrived over the weekend and to my horror my maid from manila isn't coming after all! *WAILS*

she failed her medical test, got pneumonia and thyroid, how scary is that? esp when i have a one yr old and a newborn at home
sad.gif


arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
Thanks Lani, for sharing. I was also very particular when I had a maid with me. Basically, anything to do with baby, eg feeding, bathing, putting baby to sleep, I'll be the one doing. So much so that she has so little to do that she can spend the whole afternoon drinking coffee and reading newspapers. She then became very unhappy when I refused to give her off day when it was contractually agreed "no off day". When she misplaced the baby's washcloth and i told her off, she demanded to be sent back to agent! My cousin said I was too nice to her, that's why she dared to climb on top of me...
I'll need a maid come June/July 07. If you know of any good maids, please let me know. Thanks!
 
Thank u lani and pink pigs.
Actually, I am very particular but no choice. If I were to take care of both boys in the night, I'll go or-bak-kak (panda eyes) cos both are still having their night feeds. I was dead against the idea of getting maid rite from the beginning till i see my mum falling sick often (lack of sleep) , i knew I needed additional help. I'd wanted to put them in the infant care centre but I'll need to fork out at least $850 for two. The one nearest to my house (ntuc) will cost me $1600 for two! gosh..

As much as I would want to change a maid, I sian to have to re-train one. Hopefully, my MIL will agree to take care of one of the boys.. I will not hesitate to ask my maid to pack and go.

mad_bride, wah.. ur maid so garang! what nationality?
 
mad bride,
actually my maid got things to do when i am doing such chores. my dd is now 22mths old already, so she is fairly easy to take care of. when my maid is free and has nothing to do she doesn't sit ard shake legs or read newspapers, etc. she actually will play with my dd, read to her, watch tv/dvds with her, etc.

so basically when my dd wakes up (ard 8.30-9am), i will feed her milk, then after that i will prepare her breakfast while maid takes care of her, then maid will feed her breakfast and play with her or watch tv with her, while i sit down, have a leisurely breakfast and read papers. at 10.30am i will bathe my dd, and my maid will go clear up and wash all the dishes. then while i am changing my dd my maid will clear up the bath.

once my dd finish bathing, maid will take care of her (play with her, watch tv with her) while i go bathe and do my own stuff. then at 12.30pm i will go prepare my dd's lunch and feed her. once my dd finishes lunch, i will eat my own lunch while my maid takes care of her. after i finish lunch i will play with my dd while my maid eats her lunch and washes up. then at ard 2pm i put my dd down for nap, and during this 2hrs or so, my maid will do her weekly chores (eg vacuum, wash toilets, clean kitchen, wipe all furniture, etc).

once my dd wakes up from nap ard 4pm, i will feed her milk, then from then till abt 5.30pm, my maid will help take care of her (play with her, read to her, watch Hi-5 with her) while i do my own chores or personal things.

at 5.30pm i will bring my dd downstairs to the playground or park, while my maid gets dinner ready. then at 6.30pm we will go back up, and i feed my dd dinner. at ard 7pm+ my hubby will return, and he and i will have dinner while my maid takes care of my dd. once we finish dinner hubby will spend time with dd, while the maid cleans up everything (i/c throwing rubbish out), then she will eat dinner.

at 9pm i will bathe dd (the maid helps me), then i feed her milk, and hubby and i will do the bedtime routine with her (play with her, read to her), while the maid does the night chores (boil water, sterilise bottles, top up water, feed cats, iron clothes, etc). then she will go bathe, then sleep. she usually sleeps ard 10pm.

btw, my maid wakes up ard 6am+ every morning, and she will do chores in the morning before we all wake up, eg. sweep and mop the whole house, feed cats, wash clothes, hang up laundry, fold wshed laundry, etc.

when my maid 1st came she even ask me what does she need to cook for us for breakfast every morning. but i told her no need, cause hubby doens't eat b'fast before he leaves for work (he just drinks coffee), and for me, i will just prepare my own simple b'fast every morning (eg. toast, biscuits, etc).
 
Hi,

Need advise...am trying to get my third maid, the prev 2 are single indo maid, both got attitude prob. The maid task is to do household chores and take care of my elder gal 5 years old, with my mum at home to jaga.
Am in a fix as in to get a married maid or single maid?
any comments anyone?
 
moomooko,
since both your previous single maids got attitude prob, why don't you try a married maid this time? my maid is married, and she is great. 2 of my neigbours got married indo maids for almost 5yrs already and they are both very good also. however, i must warn you 1st hor, attitude got not much to do with the fact whether they are married or not. just that it seems more married ones have better attitude and are more responsible than unmarried ones, cause they are here to work seriously to send $$ home to family & kids.
 
Hi,

I'm in the process of selecting a replacement maid. Wld you take someone who has a midwifery cert and worked in a hospital before in her country? Purpose of me getting this maid is to take care of my newborn and do housework.

TIA
 
Hi,

I need advice abut maid passport renewal. Has anyone renew it in Singapore for Indo maid and how much would it costs? Thanks.
 
courage.
it costs ard $240+ if i am not mistaken. the process is quite leceh leh, you need to set aside half a day to do it. are you the legal employer of your maid (in MOM record) or is it your hubby? cause the legal employer must go accompany the maid.

1st, you gotta go to this office in Orchard Towers (the company name is Blue Fin, if i am not mistaken) to get her passport photos done. you CANNOT go take her passport photos elsewhere hor!

then go down to Indo Embassy to renew the passport. 1st gotta get the forms and fill it up. the form quite complicated, so make sure you fill up properly. then you gotta get a queue no. to pay. after that, you gotta get another queue no. for the maid to be interviewed by embassy officials. then after that should be done, then they will tell you when you need to come back again to collect the passport. the queues at the embassy is usually quite long, so be prepared to be there for quite some time.
 
Hi mommies,

i haven't been to this forum since oct last year. not sure if you remember but I had a filipino ex-midwife maid whom I tried very hard to keep.. well i am here to update that after 18mos i finally let go of my maid on boxing day. i cried after she entered the customs area as i wasn't sure if what i did was right and if I hurt her feelings by asking for early termination but hubby and friends all told me to be strong and that I did what was right for my bb. it is her birthday this weekend at first i wanted to call her and send her a birthday card but I think is should not as the ties should be cut off as clearly as possible...

almost 4 weeks of not having a maid - it has been a huge emotional relief not having to look behind me and worry about her welfare etc. my old part time maid came to help out which ease the situation. so I am happy to report i should be maid-free for a while
happy.gif
 
Hi Amz,

What's wrong with your ex-midwife maid?
I've got some reservations abt this type of maid, but I'm caught in a situation where I may not be able to wait too long for more bio-data to be available from my agent.
Actually, I'm also quite happy to be maid-free after what has happened w my last maid. So, can understand how you feel now
happy.gif
.
 
Hi all experienced mummies
i'm now at my 24 weeks. EDD 15 May. i intend to hire a maid after my bb is born. 1st time hiring maid. hehe
happy.gif
now is it the time to look for one? normally takes how long for the maid to come over to s'pore? Any agencies can recommend? thanks in advance.
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi Serene</font>
Best to hire b4 you deliver so that she can familise with your hsework routines &amp; habits. WHen baby arrives, you need to settle baby stuff, where got time/energy to coach maid.

Takes 2 wks on the avg to arrive in SGP. They hv to take test. BTW, you also hv to take test. You better go online to check MOM website on details too.

Agency, best to be nearby your place for convenience. So where you stay?

<font color="0000ff">Courage</font>,
I tut agency can do the passport renewal? My agency offered to help do @ a fee, but end of day maid decided to go home after contract ends.
 
Hi Serene,

am about 31 weeks and just got my maid last week. Also first time having a maid. Really have to teach her your ways of cooking, household work etc etc. So some time spent with her is quite crucial and important.
The online test is easy, very direct common sense questions.
 
Hi Mommies,
Into a decision : To let go or keep her NOW..

I have a ph. maid. after a small lecture , she wrote me a letter that she wants to say goodbye in Aug07 (her contract end Jan 08).

My question is since a maid has already determine to leave.. why I should let her decide her own departure date ? She stay till Aug because she hope to get some money home rather then empty-handed.

My hubby wants to keep her till her last day as he prefer the "changing of maid days" takes place later rather than now since our baby is only 16mth old

I think otherwise..why wait. since she is no longer interested here.

What mummies think ?
 
coffedrinker,
i would say to let her go.
I would not tolerate a maid who bargains with me or holds me ransom.
I agree with you that since her heart is not here already, why keep her.
You've got to retrain another new maid anyway when she leaves in Aug, why not train a new one now?
Plus your child may be even more attached to her by then which makes it difficult to adjust to a new maid.
 
coffeedrinker,
i agree with babygrace too. why keep her if her heart is no longer in it? i strongly believe that there is no point keeping her. what's more, if you give in to her demands and keep her till aug, she will think that you desperately need her and she will use this to her advantage. you're only asking for/inviting trouble by keeping her. also, since you have to get a new maid anyway, might as well get one now and start training her immediately.
 
my maid just told me that she is actually only 20 yrs old instead of 26 as the agent oever there told her to report false age so that she can work here, she says her passport birthdate is fake.

if this is real, what shd i do?
 
<font color="0000ff">Serene</font>
You can take the test online lah. But first must study a bit before you take the online test, else fail waste money to re-test.

<font color="0000ff">Emma</font>
Doubt you can do anything. Alot of maid doing that to get into Spore to work. Dao4 Gao1 Yi4 Chi3, Mo2 Gao1 Yi4 Zhang4.

Main thing is can she perform? Is she doing oki @ your place?
 
coffeedrinker,
will not hesitate any single bit to let her go. when my maid refuses to listen to instructions n insists on doing things her way, i ask her is she is still interested in working with us. if she is not interested to work wif us anymore, pls let me know so dat i can send her home asap. cun let them think they r indispensable, n dat we cun live w/o her. there r plently of maids out there.
 
serene,
the test is VERY easy, but must read the notes 1st and study abit before you take the test lah. i did that, then got all full marks leh. the questions all common sense one lah.
 
hi kook
so far she is ok.

anyone of your maid goes out with you and wear skirt? mine always like to wear skirt and I want to tell her not to wear it as it is quite inconvenient to carry baby and movement.

How do i tell her? my mom is the one who allows her to wear and I disagree except special occasion.
 
Hi Jlyn, my ex-maid was Indonesian. I suppose she knew that I was going to send her back to the agent at some point in time, that's why she would rather ask to be sent back earlier. She had been very unhappy since she had bargained relentlessly for an off day unsuccessfully.

Lani, my place very small. And my mum handles my boy 100%. So nothing much to do; doesn't help if the maid is indigenously lazy. Only pretend to be hardworking in the 1st month that she was here. Sigh. Hope I have better luck next time.
 
mad bride
she likes to wear nice clothes i dont think she will like the idea to wear uniform, u mean I buy standard t shirt for her to wear?

anyone do appraisal form for maid? i am thinking of doing one to access and let her know her performance so far.
 
emma, there are uniforms for domestic help to wear. My cousin lets her 2 maids wear that. She checked with them if they have any problems wearing uniforms before employing them. I do agree that it would be tough to impose this rule only now. How about only when they go out with you but they can wear their own clothes at home.

They can be bought at Holland Village, i believe. I think they are neat and professional. they come in matching top and bottom.

I have seen some maids who dress neatly and the madams very sloppy, so much so that the maid appears more presentable. I don't think anyone relishes to be in such a position.
 
Hi mummies,
My new maid is good and resposible. She has been wif me for 7mths already. But recently probably due her phone call with her family, she told me that her children are not in proper care since she left home. She is worried and homesick. She cried often as she is too miss her children. Any suggestion for me to console her so that she can concentrate on her work and continue working for me.
 
Lani/Kook_Car

Thanks about passport info. I may not renew my maid after all. She has worked with me more than a year now and taking care of my boy and housework has been satisfactory. Only thing I find myself less tolerable towards her is I find she has changed in attitude after earning a few months full pay. Now she seems to think she is rich and quite proud. She made comments that suggest she looks down on her own people and like to compare herself with other maids. When she is with my family other maids, she boast about she knows many things and so I v pleased with her and I like her so much I gave her clothes/gifts and she showed them photos I took for her in baju kurung and modern clothes that I passed down to her. She used to be choosy about food when she first arrived but still bearable but now she openly refuses food and clothes and comment they are not to her liking. What I cannot tolerate is she has bad habit to scoop big portion of food but after one taste decides she doesn't like it and do not hesitate to throw the food away. Yes, I reward her well as compared to the other maids in the household but it is not because of "her". I would have done so to any other maids who work for me if they take care of my son and do housework properly. I do not think her "yaya" attitude is good influence for my son.Do you gals encounter same thing with your maid?
 
Courage,
My ex-maid also thinks that she is so great, and that I cannot do without her. I made the mistake of rewarding her too well. She told my second maid that I will never send her away. Well, I did. A word of advise to all employers : do not treat your maid too good, they will think that they are indispensable and their attitude will turn bad.

I certainly cannot tolerate the maid throwing any food away. You should tell her off, and if she still does it, you should seriously consider whether it is worth it to keep her.
 
Hi tamarind and lani, need your advice on which option is better? - to buy the food for the maid (such as those suggested on your food list) or to give her food allowance?

I have had 2 maids before. I was very lax with the 1st one, so much so that she ate up half of the grapes that my mother-in-law gave us - not shy!!! So I restricted the 2nd one on what food she can take and what she can't. The 2nd one ended up stealing a piece of cake to eat and yet flatly denied when caught!

I want to know how i can handle the next one. Headache...Thanks!
 
hi tamarind,
i am also a newbie to maid. just selected a maid from agency last week and this is what i got... don't know what other rules i should set. seems like you are quite the expert here.

had phone interview with fili maid. she asked me if can go church every sun. i told her no. only on day off, once in 3mths after the first six months. we are catholics and she is christian. hb hopes there won't be prob. i also hope so.

she has three kids - 4, 1 and 3mths! asked her many times if she will be homesick, she say will be but have to earn $$ for kids coz last year just separated from hb.

asked her if she'll want to call home often, she said yes. i told her no. everything i tell her she just goes, 'yes mum' 'ok mum'.

she has 3 years of exp in phili as baby sitter/housemaid. that's why i chose her.

can i don't give her off days? altho hb did agree once in 3mths. is it v mean of me?

thanks for providing any info!
 
mad_bride,
When your maid first arrive, better don't give her too much freedom. You should buy the raw materials for her, don't give her a choice.

After a year or so, when you get to know her better, if you think she is good, then you can consider giving her a food allowance.

It is better to be strict at first, then slowly give more freedom. Not the other way round.
 
alabone,
Once in 3 months, is it stated in the contract ? If it is stated no day off, then you don't have to give her any off day at all.

You are not being mean. She should know the terms very well when she take this job. If she doesn't like it, she should not have taken this job. It's not like anyone is forcing her to work for you.
 
tamarind,
i also don't want to give her off days, but agent say must leh... so hb and i relented and said once in 3mths... must state in contract is it?? which contract is it? is it the one we sign after choosing maid? damn... feel like i was cheated...
 
alabone,
You should have signed a contract with the agent when you get the maid. The contract should state clearly whether they have off days or not. Is it your hubby who signed the contract ? You should have a copy of the contract at home.

There are many maids, both filipino and indonesian, who choose to have no off days.
 
courage,
i think it's a good idea that you have decided not to renew your maid's contract. i also cannot tolerate a maid that is boastful, proud, yaya, and likes to waste food.

i am very fortunate that my maid is very humble, grateful and definitely not wasteful. she is always very appreciative of everything we do for her and everything we give her, and she is always the one who insists on keeping leftover food from dinner, saying that we shouldn't waste food and she will eat it for lunch the next day.

in fact, there was once we went to a family function, and there were a few other maids there, and there was 1 maid that behaved similar to your maid, ie. very greedy (she took about 5 pcs of steak to eat!!), boastful and quite loud and very vain. when we came back home my maid told me abt that maid, ie. all the things she said and did, and my maid said it made her skin crawl! she said that maid's behaviour made her so embarrased! haha!

mad_bride,
i think in the beginning you should buy the food for your maid, then observe closely what she likes/dislikes to eat. if she is not too fussy, then you can buy more of those things she likes (provided they are not expensive lah) and stop buying things she doesn't like.

after a few mths, and only if you notice that she is the responsible type and can be trusted not to abuse your trust, then maybe you can give her a food allowance instead.

abalone,
i believe now it is compulsory to give maids 1 off day a mth, esp. if she requests for it. this applies to all new and renewed contracts signed after 15 Sept 2006. if she is ok with no off days, then you will have to compensate her, eg. ard extra $20 per mth.
 
my maid hardly drinks water and i often sak her to drink stillshe drinks little.

Today she toldme she sufferes pain on her side and bring her to doc, doc says urine infection due to lack of water. I was so mad, the bill came to be $70. i told her if she has drink enough water then this wont happen.

I told her next time happen again she has to pay. Is it a must for us to pay all medical bill?
 
lani,
tt's wat agency told me. my neighbour juz got maid last oct n she also nv give off... my selected maid said ok w 1 day off every 3mths. she wants to go church. so i guess not so bad.

tamarind,
signed contract but agent nv let me keep anything lei. maid only coming next wk...
 
emma, i buy uniforms for my maid to wear when she goes out with us. I think it looks neater and cleaner rather than let her wear her own clothes, although she does dress quite well and appropriately. I got mine in Manila for about PhP 600-750 per set (depending on the material) The one I got is pants suit top and bottom with large pockets for her to put her things also. I think Lani saw her wearing one in one of the baby's birthday parties... will try to find a picture for you.
 
alabone,
You should request a copy of the contract. I have used a few agencies and they all gave me a copy without asking. If you need to send the maid back, you need to read the contract carefully. Some agencies require you to continue to pay her food/lodging/salary for up to 30 days, even when she is no longer working for you.

Like Lani said, you don't have to give her off day if you compensate her with extra salary.
 
patsy
hope to see the pic when u have found it.

why did u get uniform for her to wear? is the uniform standard colour? u bought all same colour? how u tell her to wear
 
Thanks Lani and Tamarind,

do you think it's better to get an ex-sin or fresh one?
sometimes, i don't know if i can tahan having to go through this whole maid-nightmare thing. today, i just saw this maid leaving the pram with the baby on the pavement unattended near a big cross road junction. and the pram was facing outwards to the road. she was in the meantime attending to the dog poo-pooing!!!
 


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