Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Nellu, just count my blessing now.. at least better than previous maid..

Good to hear the way ur maid reply you, at least she use her brain..also so concern,take care of ur boy..can auto..mine stil need manual(telling/remind her certain area to take note..eg.after iron clothes, just leave unplug hot iron on the floor, where easily touch by my girl)..think my maid not smart type. Sometimes,its a plus point.

MIL just ask me, when I plan to put my bb in school(she mean CC)..she also dont trust maid, I will see, if this maid can handle(if not 18mths), I will wait till next year, where bb 21mths on Jan'09.

Just heard a news from one aunty while buying lunch..a myanmar maid run away, the agent found her,brought her back to agent place, she tried to run away by tight towel, climb out window and she fall, cos her death. Just yesterday nite chinese paper. I wonder this case, if the employer didnt cancelled her wp..whose responsible?
 


yuen, omg.. nw i am thinking of installing the cctv...

jo, aiyo.. so sad.. these maid duno hw dey think... why run away... where can dey go rite...
 
Jo
Can say i hard-hearted. But fall to death is better than fall no die. Fall to death, the cost of sending body home is covered by insurance bought by us. But if fall no die and incur substantial medical fees (which is much beyond what the insurance covers), the employer will have to pay.
 
May,
I am not at all surprised by your maid's reaction with your child getting hurt. My prev indo maid did the same and when she didn't bother to say sorry... i tot it was very strange n asked how will she feel if i were the one who crushed her finger. My maid can replied, "ok." (maybe she was waiting for me to do that so that she can sue me in court)
But when i say, ok.. what if i deduct your salary for that mistake.. She immediately replied, " CANNOT!!!" U see lah, these maids!!!
 
Look at what the husband says "the maid tells lies"....hmmm, yes, all maids tell lies.

What I don't understand is why maids that abuse children do not get jail terms. If a maid slaps a baby then she gets off...if an employer slaps a maid she goes to jail???? Where is the justice in that!

NEVER trust a maid with children.

July 4, 2008
Jailed for getting dog to bite maid
Maid bitten on thigh and finger; housewife gets 20 months
By Sujin Thomas
RIGHT after housewife Tay Siew Hoon got her dog to bite her Indonesian maid's thigh and finger, she sat down to watch TV in the living room of her Changi home.
The maid, now 24 and working elsewhere, ran into Tay's son's room where he and his father, Mr Kim Hua Siang, helped put a plaster on her wound.

In court yesterday, Tay's lawyer A.P. Thirumurthy used what her husband and son did for the maid to plead for a lighter sentence. 'That itself shows they were concerned for the maid despite the dog bite,' he said.

But Deputy Public Prosecutor Lim Tse Haw pointed out that Tay, 53, was not the one who tended to the maid's injuries. 'The accused cannot take credit for the actions of her husband and son.'

DPP Lim had earlier called Tay's actions 'one of the worst cases of maid abuse'. It is also the first time an employer has used an animal to abuse her maid.

District Judge Wong Choon Ning sentenced Tay, a mother of three grown-up children, to a 20-month jail term.

Mr Thirumurthy asked the court to impose a jail term of between three and nine months on his client, based on past maid-abuse cases involving employers using heated items like an iron or weapons such as a knife.

But DPP Lim argued that a dog attack was worse as hot irons or knives were inanimate objects. 'The pain would be a fleeting moment at the point of contact or stabbing.'

Mr Thirumurthy also tried using the size of Tay's dog as a mitigating factor. He said the dog, a shih-tzu, is a small breed which is not known to be ferocious, unlike an Alsatian 'which is known for tearing off chunks of flesh'.

But DPP Lim said the dog bites left the maid with 11 bruises on her right thigh and marks on her left middle finger. 'Imagine the trauma and fear the victim must have been subjected to by the attack,' the prosecutor said.

Tay's husband, 54, who works as a property agent and car dealer, told The Straits Times he felt the sentence was 'unfair'. 'My maid tells lies and I feel very sad this has happened,' Mr Kim said.

Tay appealed immediately after sentencing and her husband posted bail of $25,000 for her release.
 
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Liana,
If a maid slaps a baby, other people may think that the maid has been abused by the employer, and so the employer's baby deserves to be slapped ! I actually read such comments on youtube when that video of the maid kicking baby was posted.
 
PinkTweet, very true... :p

B2B3M4, wa ur maid very TK leh! haiz.. but what to do.. we got to work and my mum cannot cope.. very vexing. Sunday the new maid coming... another set of problem... haiz...

Liana, very shocking.. I din noe shih-tzu can bite so fierce.. I got 2 Shih-tzu, dey dun bite unless u accidentally step onto their tail or pull their hair too pain.. even if dey bite, its just a small bite and dey will faster run away. My shih-tzu I think I ask her to bite, she will go and lick instead. My current maid oso says my Shih tzu bite her while she's going to bath for her.. she call me on the phone, told me cannot bath for the dog, dog bite her.. I ask her hw's her hand.. she says okie not very serious.. but dat time I was already near my hse, so within 5mins I reach home and ask her to show me, where the dog bite her.. she faster says.. ohh.. no bite.. she wan to bite me... I use towel to wrap her head. than she show me hw she carry the dog.. she use a big towel and wrap my dog head inside the towel, dan when my dog struggle she scare.. crazy! I use towel and wrap ard her head see she struggle or not.. haiz.. but ofcos la.. I dun bother. after dat, the duty of bathing the dog become ours.
 
May,
i think the maid is really lying in the case that Liana has posted here for us to read. Either that or the dog really hates the maid. Dogs i think also express their preferences for people. My mum's dog also didn't like my ex maids! Hahaha....

Shih-tzus are known to be quite gentle what...
more often than not, i think it's these maids who do funny things to the dog, just like what you maid did with your dog, then of course in these situations the dog will bite them. It's a natural reaction.
 
nellu,
ya.. we guess so too. cos hb went to bath the dog the says she's okie.. doesnt act too agressive or out of normal.
 
yuen she got say why wan to trf?

haiz. my agent jus call me.. the new maid permit not out.. cannot go exchg tml.. sian.. see my current one more and more vomit blood...
 
Because my mum scold her...as since school started, my mum bring my boy down to wait for my daughter school bus.....because my maid have been talking to everyone and not taking care of my daughter....my daughter 7 yerars old so old enough to complain to me.

Now she can't go down to talk so end up every morning and afternoon washing the balcony BECAUSE my balcony is near my neighbour's balcony, so they can talk at the balcony....they talk so much that my neighbour scolded her maid, so my neighbour lock the doors to the balcony and don't let her miad talk to my maid....

With the new arrangement of my mother going down to pick my girl....in less than a month, my maid want to transfer.
 
now wondering whether I should get new maid or not.......need advise.

My daughter is 7 years old and she takes the school bus to school...need someone to bring her downstair and when she comes home need someone to pick her. She is in afternoon class, so the timing are bring her down at 12.00 pm and pick her at 7.00 pm

My son is now 30 months.

Meals - Breakfast (no problem)
Lunch - my mother say she can settle my girl and son and her own.
Dinner - we can pack back when we can on the way home.

Clean ???? - part-time maid to help mop the floor???? , ironing - my clothes normally send for dry clean, so ok, my HB normally iron him own shirt. My girl uniform, I have to take over.

Will be slightly more busy on Saturday like washing my girl shoes and painting them etc....

do you gals think I can cope?
 
Yuen

Is your maid a fresh or new one?

I think the maid find herself lost her freedom , cannot take it and thus want to transfer.

To get a maid time maid, means no in housemaid problem but you will be busier. I guess eventually its how one adjust to the new life style.
 
Breadlover
my maid worked in Malaysia for 3 years plus but was back in Indo for about 6 months before she just me....

But their stories always change one so I will normally discount what she said.....

I also don't like her attitude. like if we pack food from outside and we will make a point to pack halal for her etc...ask her how is the food and she will tell me "hungry, so have to eat, not nice"...after a while I told her we pack food, you cook your own food...then she will refuse to cook food and say not hungry don't eat.....
 
yuen,
i think maybe you can cope. Your girl is quite big already. It is also time to slowly teach her to help out with some simple things around the house.

My neighbour's girls (14yo, 10yo and 3yo) are all very spoilt cos they had maid all this while until recently. My neighbour had over 10 maids in a span of 7-8years. in the end, (recently) got fed up and sacked the maid. The initial months were bad cos the girls could not get used to (esp the 14yo). Then my neighbour really had to work like a dog to keep house clean and cook for everyone. Her husband complained to me and asked me if i could talk to his girls (the two elder one). I didn't really talk much lah...just told them must help their mother. also learn to do things on their own is good for them next time if they have to leave home for uni and later on go out to work...now the girls help out at home, even help to wash the MPV!

I think when kids are older, they can help out at home and relieve our burden. Just have to teach them.
 
Yuen
I also have a ex malaysian three years indo maid. This type of maid want a lot of freedom, think over there, the madam there is bochap type....let them have free way to do a lot of things...

I also not sure when my this maid, with me three months, will ask for transfer. Their exposure is alot too when working in malaysia.
 
Just discuss with my husband and we decided to take a break from maid first....so will not take a maid

This afternoon just spoke to new potential employer of my maid....I told her about the attitude and homesick stuff....
 
breadlover
my also super sensitive, can't scold, scold only cry. and also think that she method the best, when I told her my method, not happy and say Malaysia do not do like that....

I also have to remind her this is Singapore
 
I think the dog biting incident was over dramatised to sensationalize maid abuse as usual. However, the authorities continue to forget to publish articles about those abusive maids and their punishments. Oh...I forgot....abusive maids rarely get punished here do they.

Yuen,
Your maid is really too much. Can complain that your take-away food is "not nice"!!! I wouldn't even bother asking her how the food is.

Yes, I think you can cope without a maid but I don't think it's worth the hassle personally. I'd rather pay someone to clean the house, scrub the bathroom and do the laundry. My time is too valuable to be doing that.

Generally speaking, I think the 1st and biggest hurdle is finding a good maid. I also think it is important not to over-work her. I think it is too much to ask a maid to do housework as well as child-minding unless you are not picky on housework.

But that said, if a maid is lazy and has a bad attitude or is more interested in her social life than working she simply has to go. 99% of the time, it's better for maids to be sent home than transferred.
 
yuen... wa.. like tis i tink let her trf ba, this kind of attitude. U pack food for her she still dun appreciate
Maybe since this maid wan trf.. u can try to be maidless for 1-2mths.. engage a pt maid.. see can cope or not.. True leh.. my ex maid oso.. story of her life and her family always change until I dun bother to remember.. My parents neighbour have a maid who work with dem for 11 yrs.. recently dey are sending her home.. cos dey feel the children have all grown up, dun wan dem to be too relied on the maid. So like nellu says, maybe you can get ur gal to help abit like folding clothes, sweeping floor.

I just send my maid back to the agency yesterday afternoon.. really bey ta han aldy.. my whole hse so dusty.. and she still stay inside the kitchen.. ask her to clean the room, she clean like half an hr go finished, dan go back to the kitchen.. lunch time, ask her to help lay the table.. she wipe the table and stand in the kitchen like statue again. dan I have to ask her to take out the porridge, she took out 1 bowl and came back to stand in the kitchen again. faintz!! I told her 3 mths plus aldy.. she still duno wat to do.. very serious leh. When I ask her to pack, she cries like duno what.. haiz. For a while I felt so sad also, thought of giving her a 2nd chance.. but hb says no. Cos she really dun wan to work. We gave her a chance before this aldy but after 1 wk back to square 1.
 
I just received a letter from MOM, all employers should receive this letter.

<font size="+2">Important Information:</font>
<font color="0000ff">To better safeguard the well-being of foreign domestic workers in Singapore, the Ministry of Manpower will be introducing a new Work Permit conditions to make clear to employers that receiving any form of payment (whether monetary or in kind) from a foreign domestic worker or employment agent as consideration for the employment of the FDW or recovering employment related costs, such as levy, security bond, medical and repatriation costs, from FDW constitute an offence.</font>

Employers will be fined up to $5000 and/or imprisoned for up to six months.

This means that employer cannot make the maid pay for her medical fees or airticket back home. The employer also cannot deduct money from her salary as a form of punishment if the maid makes mistakes or breaks something in the house.

I wonder if the recovering of the maid loan is considered an offence ?
 
yuen,
I feel that maids with bad attitude should not be tolerated. The more you tolerate her, the more she will climb over your head, because she will think that you are scared of her.

If she said take-away food is not nice, then you should not buy food for her any more. I never buy food for my maid, she cooks for herself at home.

As working mothers, we don't have much time to spend with the kids. If we have to spend time doing housework, we will sacrifice the valuable time which can be better spent with our kids.

I have sent back 7 maids before. My number 8 maid is very very good. Because of her, I am able to spend more time teaching and playing with my kids. This is more important to me than anything else.

We must be prepared to change maids until we find a good one.
 
Tam,
I received that letter too. So even if it is the maid that breaks her contract and wishes to be sent home does that mean that the employer must pay without exception?

I don't think that's very fair.
 
Liana,
I believe MOM means employer must pay without exception. Because the maid agency contract is between the maid and you, it has nothing to do with MOM. To MOM, you bring in the maid, then you must send her back. I have just sent an email to MOM to ask about this question, I will post the reply here.

I think some agency contract states that the maid should pay for the air ticket if she breaks the contract. But with this new rule, I think this agreement cannot take effect.
 
Tam, Liana,
when i got my current maid, the agent already informed me of this new ruling. It's funny that MOM only 'announced' it to us now.

i also think it's really unfair that we should have to pay for the air ticket even when the maid is the one who breaks the contract. sometimes i wonder why it can't be more like an ordinary employment contract where the employees have to serve notice or compensate the company when they breach the contract...
 
ALL MAID ARE SAME(have problem in certain area)..

Now my 8th maid..really sian..

Plus point do work very fast, fast till 'chin chai' anyhow do..after mop floor, like before mop..do work no standard..hand wash clothes,plus hang dry very fast only used 15mins..

Basically she is not a clean person, quiet n glummy'sian' sian look..sometime I talk(hav to communicate in malay,poor in English) to her,she also didnt answer..act smart,as she want to do thing fast, anyhow throw away my thing without asking..this morning nearly throw away my soup,where I boiled last night n keep in thremos pot..lucky I saw when she is going to pour away.

When she is with my todler, she just put a book infront my todler n maid dream away..like statue,see dont say bb, I also scared..haiz,keep on telling her to talk,dont stay quiet with todler, my todler already dont want her(afraid of her,yet she quiet, lagi jialat)..

Let her play n make children to sleep, after my 3yrs old girl wake up, she told me, she hurt her finger..where the maid didnt tell me at all..but she said aunty had apply lotion for her..its bleeding inside her finger,lucky just a little bit..hmm,I already told maid to tell me,if anything happen to my children..so I told her about a bb accident,maid didnt tell,cos bb death.

Today,only 3rd day..stil have to monitor..really all maid are alike..

My toddler name Gloria, maid called her 'go ri la'..faint..
 
Re: air ticket home
My agent still make employer keep $300,deduct $100 each month after maid's loan, its use to buy maid's air ticket if the maid has to go back before finish contract.
 
Yuen, I just took e plunge and cut off my maid on Fri. I've a 4yo and a 2yo...my mother is looking after them when we work. i've gotten a partime maid to do e housecleaning like changing bedsheet, moping floor, ironing clothes etc..definitely can manage. Believe in yourself!
 
My maid came on Sat and yday she was ironing and spoil my blouse!!! I was angry but must ren cos she is new!!! Sometimes call her, she can act blur.....must raise voice and shout then can hear..... My mum teach and instructions for the whole morning and cannot tolerate liao then she went out for a walk then come back.... we keep reminding ourselves that she is new so she is slow, so we must be patient.... urgghhhh....
but 1 thing is she react very fast when told her that her fringe too long and and will cut the next day, she quickly take out hair pin.... so I told her, ok, you pin it and if I see without pin again, I will cut it off....
 
Kaimom - I am sending her off this morning and will not be getting a maid for the time being. Will get part-time instead.

Anyone have recommendation for part-time? I am staying in the east.

mummy_tang
There will be more to come, my blouse also spoil by ironing, some spoiled by washing as I ask them to wash by hand and they use all their strength, knit wear, so expanded. End up I iron my own stuff. She can still ask me, mdm new piece don't want me to iron, scare I spoil again?
 
Jo, faintz... is she a 1st time maid? I tot normally 1st few days or weeks dey will put in their best effort to please you?

Mummy_tang, where is ur maid from?

Yuen, your maid hor.. really shd go.. haizzzz.. I really duno hw to treat maid now..
 
yuen, ya lor .... i scared liao now.... I have my limit too...usually once hit my limit she will get this gentle reminder...."but if everything I need to do, think you can balek liao" and I dont transfer YOU, when I mean balek is really BALEK..." usually will work for like 2mths for my previous 2maids.....
 
Jo,

Your maid is ex-sin right? Obviously she has attitude problem. She don't respect her employer.

Sian hor.... all maids are the same (regardless experienced or inexperienced). Very difficult to find one that has good working attitude nowadays.

I also very scare to change my maid.

Actually my maid is ok. She can handle the housework while I play with the kids. However, my mum thks that she is not clean. And do work very slow. I agreed with the not clean and slow part.

The maid took 45mins to sweep and mop the living room and balcony. Its not as if our house is so big. So my mum ask her to quickly do it as my boy is coming back soon. She moved the kids tricycel, toy piano and put away with loud noise. Initially a small bang, then the bang gets louder as she put away more toys.

When I reach home, mum complained to me. I ask the maid why she bang the toys. She said she didn't. She wants to do it fast so it must the the toys knock against each other when she wants to put away quickly.

I am sick of it. I told her I am tired of such explanation. I told her she is very good in her lips service. Her talking is "VERY GOOD", I told her. But when comes to work, she knows nothing. So I told her I will look for new maid. When the new maid comes, its time she goes. I will send her back to Jakarta.

She replied ok. Then I thk she cried. Cos mum saw her red eyes.

Nonetheless, she still do her work although I told her I will send her off after getting a new maid.

That's means she is prepared to go right? Since she didn't plead with me to keep her.


I am still looking around.....its not easy to get someone with good working working attitude.
 
Am so tired of complaining abt maids... argh.. maid juz kena scolded by me n hb ytd.. den tdy by my mum.. sigh.. seriously no common sense n i tink her understanding of our english is worst den my indo maid.. my hb told her 'when i get home u will get it', she tot hb told her to bring his soccer boots downstairs n he will come bak to collect it.. faintz right..
 
babycutie, u told ur maid u going to chg her?? not worried she do something funny? Maybe she need to tidy up her feelings dan talk to you.. give her a few days ba.. if she still nv says anything I think she's really prepared to go.

celtricia,
omg! so wu long one..
 
may.. ya lor.. n she koon koon, went downstairs stand for an hr still dun come up.. till i haf to bring my 2 kids down to find her.. n she still got the cheek to tell me tat she areadi intending to go up liao.. kaoz.. no more tolerance.. told her had enuff of her.. will soon send her bak to agent..
 
May, my maid is fm Indo.... she is so different fm the picture..... so small size....aiyo...

Just now I called to check on my boy's cough, my mum said maid wash toilet for 1 hr without washing the toilet bowl!! and ask her to clean my cupboard, she jus stand there and look at my photos!!....Wao Kao! what she standing there?

I had fresh indo maids b4, but this is the worst....anyone got any special skills to train fresh maid??
 
1 week into the new maid...

I realised that whatever we told her, although she said she understood, but actually she did not.

1) Told her and showed her specifically not to use brush to clean my master toilet (marble foor), but can use on the other common toilet (ceramic). On first day she complied, but last weekend I heard her scrubing away !

2) Told her different cleaning cloth for different purposes. But I saw her using the cloth for cleaning table tops to clean toilet.

3) She poured away a pot of barley water which my MIL brewed.

4) Her English is bad. My MIL said she also can't understand her Malayu.

She has her plus points. Her work is fast. Can imagine within 1 hour, she finished sweeping, mopping (go through twice, 'cos I complained not clean), and cleaned 3 toilets ! And in less than 10 min, cleaned 3 sets of mirrors. I checked, it's cleaned. But I told her no need to rush, most importantly do the work well.

I have faith that she will improve, given enough training.
 
May,
Don't thk she will talk to me. Cos she already told me that's the speed her body can take. Not that she purposely want to be slow. She said she is happy working with us. But if we really don't like her, we can send her back.

Few weeks ago, my FIL came by. She told my FIL that nobody in the house like her. She told him she wants to go back.

So more or less she is already prepared to go.

However, I will only release her when I found a suitable one.



Celtricia,

I am very worried leh. Jennifer suppose to arrange an interview with her SIL maid at my place. I thk she has forgotten abt it.

Cos on Sat at 1pm, I sms her --> Jennifer, we have an appt at 2pm to interview your SIL maid at my place. Pls confirm asap. I need to bring my maid to my brother's place. Waited 15mins no reply. So I called her. She pick up the call and told me, so sorry, she will arrange and get back to me. (I was like HUH??? Shouldn't she has already arranged???) Anyway, I replied ok. That was 1.15pm.

At 1.30pm I sms her --> My understanding is that we have fixed the appt at 2pm and I have already brought my maid to my brother place already. (Actually I still have not bring. But will be bringing over in 10 mins time).

Waited till 2pm, finally she called and said her SIL has forgotten. N whole family + maid is in Malaysia now. Said she has called n informed her SIL yesterday (meaning Friday) but she forgets and bring the maid to Malaysia.

She thought I stupid??? When I called she answered : Let me arrange and get back to you. Now she called and said SIL forgets and bring the maid to Malaysia. Obviously she is lying. She must have forgotten and blame it on her SIL being forgetful.

How trustworthy is Jennifer?? Ask her why her SIL wants to release the maid. She told me because of communication breakdown between the maid and the SIL hb (who is a European). U believe?

I am keen to interview the maid but was disappointed when the arrangement has to be cancelled due to her SIL has forgotten abt the arrangement. ( I still truly believe that Jennifer herself has forgotten abt it).
 
mummy_tang,

Yes, I told her right in her nose. And she knows I am in the verge of anger.

But I mean my words cos I gave her so many chance already. I believe she oso knows I mean my words.

But I m not rushing into it. Will only send her back when I get a suitable one.

U know my mum always tell her that we will change her if she still don't improve. The maid replied my mum, you say so many times but still have not change me.

I told my mum not to threaten to send her away so often. If she do wrong, just scold. Don't keep saying want to send her away. Because she said so many times but ended up the maid is still around.

So now the maid don't respect my mum.
 
'Paging for Liana',

Sorry, off-topic here. But Liana, can you share with me where you get your day care nanny? How much does it cost to get one's services.
 
mummy_tang, photos very deceiving.. My last maid, we couldnt recognise her at the agency when we bot her back. My mum keep asking me, is she the same person as in the pix.

Suzie, ur maid really super fast... my ex maid.. 1 hr to sweep and mop the floor oso cannot finish.

babycutie, ur maid will complain to ur FIL? I find that my 2 ex maid alway complain to my father who in turn will jump to their defence... very irritating.
 
FAINTZ FAINTZ FAINTZ

My mum just called to say the maid walk with knife in kitchen while preparing to cook...dun they have common sense..... think my mental stress going to happen again..... #1 maid made me go through mental stress for 8months till i sent her back..... I told my mum, if cannot, just change, no choice abt wasting $$$, its either yr medical bill for Blood Pressure go up or we we just change lor..... maids stuff is abt changing till we find ok.... with all these said, must go thru MR Kind (my hb) 1st....poor ME!!!
 
May, ya lor.. 1hr.. i tot so too.. but in fact when i went downstairs.. she din c me coming.. n frm her bak i cld c she quite kan cheong n was pacing forward n backward.. but well.. to me its still stupid of her to b waiting for an hr for my hb to get hm.. n i've brought her together to watch hb played for match b4.. so she shld jolly well noe the kind of timing.. sigh..

mummytang, i din wan to say tat i wan to send her bak.. but ytd was the kind where i 'ren wu ke ren' if u noe wat i mean.. so it juz came off my mouth.. but since i dun put her alone at hm wif my kids.. am not worried she will do tings to harm them.. n she pleaded for me not to send her bak n ask me to give her chance.. c hw bah..

babycutie, am not very sure hw trustworthy.. coz for me.. so far wat i wan she manage to help lor. but frm ur story.. i also feel tat she might haf forgotten.. n din admit.. sigh.. but so far i also din get any biodatas frm her for maids.. so i also duno wat to say.. damn sian..
 


yesterday papers there was a report on maid abuse. There was a description of a potential maid abuser....wow, I think I fit that profile leh. Stressed with work, kids, school work, aged parents.
 
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