Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Need some opinons

My maid wants to continue to work for us for another 1 or 2 year. She told us quite sometime ago but she requested to go back her hometown to visit her parent and relative for a month.
We agreed cause we understand that she is missing her parent there and want to go back see and spend sometime with them.
But now the problem is she wants to go back in November. The very first time I already told her is impossible cause my maternity leave will end by that time and I need to go back work…then who is going to take care my newborn for that month.
I suggested her to go back in July (although I will need to take leave but at least my replacement is here already and boss can allow me to take leave), if not will be September or early October 08 so at least I am around to take care Amabel and newborn. Not possible to go back in August as I will be having my confinement.
Ok then she told us that she will go back in early October then but two days ago, she told us that her parent want her to go back in November to get marry.
I am wondering is it an excuse that she wants me to accept her request to go back in November cause initially she never mentioned about getting married.
If really let her go back for holiday, got to withhold her 2-month salary just in case she never come back.

Now I am trouble whether to get a new maid if she insists to go back in November, as I really cannot take leave since by then the replacement will leave. But came to think about it, I am quite satisfied with my maid cause she dote on Amabel, can handle her quite well though there is still a few bad points about her but no maid is perfect so I won’t expect too much also.
If change new maid, I will need to train, supervise, make sure the new maid is trustable before I can leave baby under her care when I go back work. And now is not easy to get a good maid.

So to change a new maid or let the maid goes back in November if she insisted?
 


msapple,
I think you are being generous giving her a whole month of holiday. I thought the norm was 2 weeks?

Personally I wouldn't let her go back in November because you have your issues too. I would offer her August, Sept or early Oct.

If she doesn't accept and you let her go back in Nov then who is going to take care of your newborn? You trust her to take care of your newborn?
 
msapple
to be on the safe side, u have to look for alternative arrangement for your newborn, eg. infantcare, nanny, etc .. Cos from what i see, your maid is likely not to come back after that, esp. if the getting married is true .. what if after getting married, her husband wants her to stay . . even withholding her salary is also not guarantee, cos i know there are some maids who are not so concerned abt money, mine is one of them (don know why they come all the way here to work also, if money is not super important to them) .. also, what is her real reason for insisting to go back in November, seems like she don feel like telling u the real reason ..
 
Thanks for all the feedback,

My maid is actually very good in handling my girl and also housework, do have attitude sometime but not that bad as what I have read from other maids and is only when she is abit moody after being scold by my in law.
But my husband keep refusing to change, saying the new maid may be worst, cant handle my kid well etc and to him I am very particular in maid so he worry the new maid may not meet my requirements then he will be more troublesome. I told him at least I got time to train the new maid during my maternity so may not be so bad. My exisiting maid is good at handle my girl and housework that is the reason I also feel trouble whether to change maid. Since she is quite good only that sometime will be moody if get scold.

Now she told me that her parent allow her to go back in early Oct and will be back in late Oct rather than Nov but still I worry she may not be coming back in time for me to go back work. If I going to deliver in mid August which mean maybe late October i got to go back work. If
I deliver in early August mean i got to go bk work in mid October which is the period she is still away. I really headache over this matter. but my husband keep insist not to change. But I worry later if she really go back marry, sure they will do one right, later preggie than how is she going to come back. Somemore I think Malay cannot take precaustion one right?
 
Jo...seems like all the myanmese work/behave the same. What you and kristen mum have described is what exactly I have experienced in the last 1 year. Yes, 1 year, amazing that I have been through her no-common-sense for so long. The new maid I have selected is still waiting to process her passport. I hope I am not fated to stick with the current one. Sigh, I have wanted to send her off within 2 weeks, yet after 1 year, she is still with me. I have totally given up on her....really beyond training. Whenever she is around, I will go away. Otherwise, sure will end up scolding her. And she forever will not learn.
 
I really cant tolerate no common sense/never think for others.. she just dont bother whatever happen at home..either my children cry,no response n be stone..when my 3yrs old girl use her tooth brush to brush other thing,maid just let it be..till my 8yrs old boy told her to stop my girl..then she quickly wash the tooth brush,while I walking toward bathroom to see what going on..when I asked if maid herself will use her own toothbrush to brush other than her teeth,she reply no,then why she dont bother what my girl do(maid actually brought my girl to brush teeth).

I'm the doing all childcare,yet she still be stone..she take her sweet time to eat everymeal..30mins while watching TV from kitchen..and I'm handling my 3kids,when she is eating..so she is the boss..I tot maybe she can help with my 3yrs old girl after CC, ensure girl finish her dinner and clean up,shower..but she just stand and look at my girl,I'm the one asking my girl to eat fast..hmm..

Cant wait to send her away..but now she is help on cleaning,mopping and wash dishes..

One thing wierd about her, she will cook instant noodle for herself to mix with rice..I dont know why..not that no food,she eat whatever we eat..but she still add noodle to rice and eat with meat,veg..
 
jo,
I think your maid doesn know anything about childcare.
There was onc I hired a part time mymnmmar helper. Never will I hireher again. I is supose to be a 3 hour job - mopping, cleaning table tops and iroing.
Se took 1.5 hr to sweep and mop my floor. 1 hour to wash 2 toilets and 0.5 hours to iron my big pile of clothes. Why? She rushed at the last min cos she knows she wouldn be paid after th 3 hour period. She s no wa compared to my previous helper.I m not stayin in a semid-d. Just a 5 room flat - 110 sqm.
I would say they have nice personality but their way of life is not compatible with ours.
 
My Myanmar maid can take 4 hours or more every evening to sweep my house (5 rm flat only), mop only my room, wash my daughter 2 water bottles, boil some water in a kettle and wash 1 set of my working clothes.

As for washing toilets, she can take 1.5 hr to wash 1 toilet. Comes to food, she herself consumes 1.5 can (milkmaid can size) of rice for lunch and dinner. My MIL end up has to buy those cheaper type of rice just for her.If not, we will go bankrupt very soon at the rate of her eating esp now that the prices of the rice has gone up.My MIL never has to resort to buying seperate type of rice for the maids. This Myanmar maid is an exception.
 
Hi mummies,
Agent called to say there is new maid available. She is 24, 145cm, 40kg. College education, has 2 years experience in Kuwait. Feedback is that her English is not bad.

Should I take her, instead of waiting for the previous one I have selected ? My concern is her height. Is 145 really short to the extent that it hinder her work ?
 
suzie,

ref maid's height, it really depends on what kind of work you need her to do? I did have a strict height requirement. But the maid who came later was shorter that what was stated on the bio. Do not take what the bio says as real.

My maid's bio state she was 5'1. but she's actually 4'11. quite a bit of difference.
 
hi mummies....

after 1 mth of maidless, Me and my mum surrender liao...esp my gal 12mths+ is so super sticky and my mum cannot do anything...... so today begin my search for maids again.... Wish me Luck!
 
Thanks nellu. Have decided not to take her.
Have also found out the maid I have selected failed the "mock" English exams in Indonesia...that's why delayed....errrh
 
mummy tang,
good luck to you. Can perfectly understand the stress with the baby. My boy is also 12mths also super sticky. Driving me and hubby nuts!
 
mummy tang, me too maidless over a month liao but have to start searching again since got bit complications with pregnancy. 3+ yr old daughter is still 'sticky' despite her age!
anyway, i called a few agents and so far only 2 provides unlimited replacements. slf green and labour express. anyone knows which other agents offer unlimited replacements?
thanks in advance.
 
bee, last time when i preggie with #2, my #1 also same.....

btw, anyone heard of AUK? their fees is $588!!! so ex! but my friends said their maids fm there not bad!
 
my #1 only become super sticky after my #2 come out .. maybe sibbling rivary .. they are only 19mths apart .. now #1 super duper sticky (she's coming to 3yrs old soon), and i've to pacify #1 until i feel guilty towards #2 .. #2 have to be pacified by maid ..
 
mummy_tang,

I got my previous maid from AUK. Agreed that their fees is on the high side. Was told that the boss interviewed the maid personally in Indonesia. Also they get only maids from rural towns instead of urban town where they are not so daring.

Personally the 2 maids that I get from them is of good nature and obedient.

However I find that their fees are very steep hence did not go back to them.
 
liana,

thanks...me am down with fever and flu for 2 days..and my boy was waking up 10 over times everynight for the last 3 weeks...plus must supervise the maid....think it's quite to the top....

thankfully hubby had been sweet enough to take over the night shifts for the last two nights...but it's so unfair...when he does it, my boy behaves himself...sianz

btw, wondering if all the PH maids are the same...why they like to work in the dark? I kept telling my maid to switch on the lights if she can't see but she always doesn't. How to ensure that the milk bottles and clothes are thoroughly cleaned when you wash in half darkness in the early morning??? making me real crazy...all 3 maids all do the same thing!!
 
haha just wanted to share something 'funny'...some of these agents are really one kind. i mean the maid is afterall a human being...one just called me up and told me the maid i am interested has been 'sold out'...as though they're some kind of poultry...and i've seen websites indicating 'no more stock'...
 
JChew,
ya she's fresh fil, grad. She knew the diff when she came...now she dunno...

sigh...dunno why i always kena this kind of maids...

but at least her saving grace is she ask..better than my previous 2.
 
Nellu,
Hope you get better soon.

Yah, maids don't know the difference between fridge and freezer. Mean that says "DO NOT RE-FREEZE" goes back in the freezer, HAM goes in the freezer and frozen goods like FISH BITES and ICE CREAM goes in the fridge....stoopid.

What's worse is that they can store leftovers and leave them in the fridge until mouldy and keep leaving in there until it becomes antique!
 
Nellu, relax, don't get too up tight. I tell you, alot of maids hor, they come, you tell them to do it this way, they do. But suddenly, after a week or 2, they forgot. I don't understand. How can they be doing for 2 weeks and then suddenly they forgot? No logic, but it happened. Not to 1 maid but to most of the maid.

hahahaha... Liana, I totally understand the part on leaving leftover food in the fridge till mouldy. That's why, my hub is the inspector in the house. He will always open up the fridge and tell me the same thing over and over again. "mummy, I think you need to check the food in the fridge".
 
Liana,

yes!! My maid has this really bad habit of just leaving the food, aft i cooked it and asked her to dish out from the frying pan, JUST THERE. I told her at least 1000 times in the last 3 weeks to cover it...but it's still the same.

And i told her to throw away the watermelon that's been in the fridge for 1 week. She looked at me and asked "really? Throw away?" I'm like "hello! It's rotten!" What you want to do with the rotten quarter of watermelon!

why do you think i get upset? I'm sleep deprived and still have to deal with things like this...sigh....

i can't understand the deteriorating of standards with the maids.
 
Jchew,
if they started off bad and get better, i can understand. Or if they started off bad and stay bad, i also can understand.
Start good and turn bad so quickly is very unbelievable...And i thought this maid is much better than my previous...sianz
 
nellu,

Not only PH maids, my Indo maid also did that. After feeding my boy milk at night (around 11pm), she washed the milk bottle in the dark. I am really piss with that.
 
babycutie,

funny right? i really don't get this leh..the funniest thing was that my 2 previous maids will tell me "sayang lah Ma'am!" meaning "waste electricity!" Siao! I told them "if baby sick or anyone in this house sick lagi more sayang than the electricity!" stoopid!
 
Some habit to share about maids from kampung.


They do not clean their table after meals. They just sweep all the food on the table to the floor and thats it.

For used water in the pail, they just pour it out of their door.


Liana, did your previous maid pour dirty water from the pail out of the window from upstairs? I remembered one mummy mentioned.


Now u know their standard...... Its their way of upbringing..... So to them, its a BIG challenge for FIRST TIMER to work here since we keep our thing very clean and almost everything needs to be cleaned. Whereas they don't clean at their hometown.
 
nellu,

They thought by not switching on the light will help us to save electricity.

But they never thought that this might result in bottle not properly washed. They wash with their "FEELING". They F-E-E-L that the bottle is properly washed.
 
hi mommies,
would appreciate it if you could share with me contacts of good and reliable maid agencies. you can pm me or drop a msg here. many thanks. :D

how long does it take for such paperwork and for the maid to come on board? i am due in aug so hopefully the maid can arrive in july. i am looking for experienced maid who can help to take care of bb when i return to work after my maternity leave.

thanks in advance.
 
Hi Mummies
My maid (3 months with us and no off day) received a letter from another maid working in Singapore. I gave her the letter but chat with her to find out more. She told me that the other maid ask her for my house number. I told her can't give. Now how, next time should I still pass her the letter? I scare the other maid teach her bad things.
 
yuen,
when i sent my maid back, i found this note book with many other maids' contacts and address. It seems that they already know their prospective employer address before they was even deployed. Hence these maids will give each other these address...
 
nellu,
We really need to have tons of patience when training fresh maids ! Out of my 8 maids, only 1 maid was fresh. She let my girl drink fresh milk left outside the fridge for about 3 hours. When I told her the milk would have turned bad, she did not understand at all. I sent her off after 3 months, don't think I will ever succeed in training her.

Fortunately my current maid, previously with 6 years of experience working in Singapore, but never took care of kids before. She will go through all the food items and tell me which ones are passed expiry date already. Even I myself forget to check :p

Hope you can tahan until your maid learn the basic common sense
happy.gif


yuen,
I don't believe in cutting off my maid's communication with the outside world totally. I think the maid is entitled to communicate with her family and friends, so long as it does not disturb her work. A maid who can turn bad so easily under influence, is not worth keeping.

My maid actually does not know my home telephone number, I don't tell her. She has her own mobile phone, which she can use after she has completed all her work for the day, and with my permission.
 
tam,
yes i agree i need a lot of patience. I keep telling myself to look at her good points. At least my boy gets along with her (but then my boy is very ok with a lot of people! :p). At least she corrects her mistakes quickly. At least she doesn't give me stupid excuses for the mistakes she makes. At least when she is not sure, she'll ask me, even though i've told her 1000 times...that's the saving grace...all these points about her is enough for me to say she is 1000 times better than my previous maids...
 
tamarind
my maid also don't know my number as I buy call card for her to call home on the first week. I also allow her to call home weekly after she finish her work and get my permission as the card is with me.

But the bad thing is that she started to miss home and her kids. She is 30 yrs old, divorced with 2 kids.

After 2 months and few calls back, she told my mother, she wants to go home. I told her because she has outstanding loan with me, she can't go home, if she is not happy to work for me, I can transfer her to the agency. If she finish her work after 8 months, she can go back if she wants.

Their thinking very funny, why come all the way here to work and then after 8 months go back, she would not have earn anything. I tried to explain to her and she said no money, no money loi.
 
Nellu,
Try and take it easy so you get well faster.

Babycutie,
Yes, my no.4 maid competes closely with my no.1 maid for the title of worst maid. She was the one who was so damn lazy that she can throw dirty water from 2nd floor balcony onto our front patio. From this experience I can really understand why some employer's hit their maids with frying pans etc.

Yuen,
My maid also does not know my home number. Actually, even I don't remember it. We all use our mobiles. I really do not want my phone ringing with my maid's friends. Annoying.

That is why I allow my maid to have a mobile. As long as she does not use it during work hours I do not care how long she smses or talks. She pays for it too so no problem for me.
 
I really dun know why maids like to work in the dark either. Mine lurks around in the dark too sometimes and I'm sure it's not to save me any money cos she uses the dryer like it's her best friend and I can hear the tap running non-stop when she washes clothes! Maybe maids are born with "night" vision like cats....this must take up alot of brain cells so not enough to use common sense lah!
 
liana,
sure will try...like i say i have to keep telling myself all her good points...like your maid, though sometimes do really silly things but still had good attitude...so same for me lah...must keep reminding myself abt that too.

my hubby says i must have NO, ZERO, ZILCH expectations. O/w i'll never be able to have a maid.

but i keep telling him there are some things which the maid just can't do. eg. this maid, good with playing with kids, but dun really know the whole picture of childcare. She winds my boy up rather than wind him down.

Just now, my boy didn't want to sleep. So i let him out of the room for a while, so i can have dinner. Then my boy started to cry when my hubby stood up to leave the table. My hubby asked her to help calm him down. Instead of "calming" him, she asked him to go and play! sigh! Bedtime leh! I told her many times, bedtime, naptime, no playing! Still like that... see lah...how to manage these two people??
 
my maid, mixed up all clothes..table cloth,cleaning/wiping cloth(cabinet,furniture),kitchen cloths..all mixed and soak/wash together..faintz..all have to replace with new cloths..I told maid but she forget..

3yrs old n 15mths old clothes also give wrongly..

clean/wash bathroom, part by part if given instructions..eg.I said wash bathroom..only wash eyes level..floor no wash, toilet paper not refill, another corner shelve not clean..
Then I said you have to wash floor..ok, maid really only wash floor..then I said refill paper..she just leave it half roll n the net holder n crooked, still the corner shelve with dust, bathroom window not wipe..haiz..I tot common sense..wash bathroom,means clean eveythings in there...hmm..

Now I know why some employer get high blood pressure..

About cleaning, everytime after she use cloths to wipe, she never rinse/wash the cloths after used
sad.gif


Today, I cooked porridge for my bb, I boiled some anchovy to make soup base..and I asked maid to wash rice.. know what, maid act smart,without asking me, maid add in the rice to the soup..I said, do you think baby can eat/chew that?? small fish with small bone in the porridge???

Every minutes need to monitor her..think she better dont do work, and be STONE! At least things wont get worst. Or I have to re-do all her work.

I cooked curry,she can tell me so yummy and eat lots of rice..normal 2bowls. I wonder when can a maid cook nice food for me instead.
 
Jo
My 2nd maid is like that, I return her to the agent after 3 weeks. She can even sleep while cutting vegetable??!! and she gets 8 hours of sleep when I still need to wake up in the middle of the night to make milk for night feed. Can't imagine if ask her to make.

this 3rd maid is ok as she worked in malaysia for 3 years before and can speak english and understand a few word of chinese.

problem is act smart, everything use the ex-malaysia method. cook also follow ex-malaysia method just have to keep telling her my method.

second problem is home sick and miss her kids.

For new maid, what I do is on the first day in my house, I will give her a set of house rule, sit down with her and go through it. Then that day, we pack food so not so stress for her.

Second day, I wake up the same time as her i.e. 6 a.m. and go through the whole cleaning proces together with them even cleaning toilet bowl etc. The third day, the same, i wakeup the same as them and this time, I supervise and correct etc. So far for all the 3 maids i have it works.
 
Nanny in UK....
I am seeking for the servcies of a nanny to come and work for me in the U.K,I am willing to offer 800 pounds sterling per week and will provide monthly shopping allowances as well as accomodation.

Dont know why I received this ad in my email. How much is that? Just know very Good pay, even if S$800 per wk.
 
hello

Need some quick advice on sending maid home.

My maid has been giving me lots of problems with her bad attitude. She wants to terminate contract to return to agency though I said from day one that I will only allow replacement if she has good attitude. I don't want to keep her anymore but want to send her home. I know she will refuse.

Can I insist that the agency take her to the airport for the 6am flight or I have to do it myself?

What if she refuses to board the plane when I take her to the airport or refuses to leave home with her luggage?

Anyone with similar experience before? Any tips would be appreciated. thanks
 
domesticgoddess
my 2nd maid also refuse to leave my house when I tried to send her back to the agency. I have to lied to her that I am sending her back for training.

I ask her to pack bag and she shouted at me "NO". lucky my husband around and my smart mum came up with this excuse.

you must be careful as you will never know what they will do next.
 
So far, I'm quite lucky as in, I've send maids back home and some maids back to agency and so far, none of them gave me any problem. All left with little struggle. In fact, 1 fresh maid actually smile when I send her back.

Nellu

Quote "Just now, my boy didn't want to sleep. So i let him out of the room for a while, so i can have dinner. Then my boy started to cry when my hubby stood up to leave the table. My hubby asked her to help calm him down. Instead of "calming" him, she asked him to go and play! sigh! Bedtime leh! I told her many times, bedtime, naptime, no playing! Still like that... see lah...how to manage these two people??"

I tell you, I use to think like you, but now I don't. After changing so many maids, I told myself now that I should not expect them to know how to handle our kids just like the way we do. In fact, if my maid is able to bring my kids away and let me have a peaceful dinner, I be really happy already. Cause so far, I must say, after 13 maids, only 2 manage to do that.

Jo

You have no found a replacement maid yet?

Quote "clean/wash bathroom, part by part if given instructions..eg.I said wash bathroom..only wash eyes level..floor no wash, toilet paper not refill, another corner shelve not clean..
Then I said you have to wash floor..ok, maid really only wash floor..then I said refill paper..she just leave it half roll n the net holder n crooked, still the corner shelve with dust, bathroom window not wipe..haiz..I tot common sense..wash bathroom,means clean eveythings in there...hmm.. "

I must say again, don't expect too much. Most of my maids who cleans the toilet, is all at eye level one. If you don't say, they will think is ok not to wipe your shelf or toiletories, not to make sure that there is enough toilet rolls or tissue, no need to flip up the anti-slip map to scrub, etc.

Overall, now I've learned not to be too picky. But of course, there must be some standards there. So if I find things not done, my response would be "sumi, the toilet shelve not clean" instead of "sumi, why never clean the toilet shelves, very dirty leh". I don't asked them for any reason cause afterall their explanation is only an excuse to get away from scolding.
 
jo,
seems that your maid is really jialat after the few weeks with you. Washing toilet issue, its actually very common. You ask them wash toilet, they will just wash the cistern lo. so must list now: wash toilet means wash the toilet bowl, wipe mirror, clean shower glass, scrub floor, etc..Down to the minute details...write on a paper as a list for her and let her know all must be done in 30mins or less.
actually its really not easy handling a fresh maid when you have 3 kids, old people and your work. I think you shld take a well experienced maid, slightly higher pay, a bit more demanding but at least can help you.
 


domesticgoddess,
I replied your email already.

nellu,
Your maid seems to have potential
happy.gif
Probably will be very good after 1 year or so
happy.gif


yuen,
It could be that your maid really misses home. Some new maids really don't know what to expect when they come to work in Singapore. She probably did not expect herself to miss home so much. I think it is a fact that many maids do not care whether they earn money or not, some of them come here for the "experience" of being overseas, thinking they can do some sightseeing/shopping etc. Otherwise they will have no chance to get out of their country at all.

If she does not like to work for you, she would have asked for transfer, not to go home. You may want to ask the agency to talk to her.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

A
Singapore should beware of the pitfalls of co-funding private IVF treatment
Replies
2
Views
2K
Angelica Cheng
A
hippo78
Looking for transfer maid
Replies
1
Views
2K
Vini
V
C
  • Poll
Bad Maid Agency: Carlton Resources
Replies
13
Views
21K
cutipie
C
A
After a Divorce - Do you split kids' expenses 50-50 with Ex?
Replies
6
Views
4K
ash11
A
D
Paying Levy For A Maid
Replies
1
Views
5K
pei_qing
P

Back
Top