Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Eileen,
It used to be great task to feed both the kids. I dunno is it something wif the maid but ever since the kids were sent to CC. They were so much easier to handle when it comes to feeding.
The 4 yr old can feed on her own.. but of coz wif lots of nagging. Will take abt half n hr to finish all on her own.
The 2 yr old feed herslef too but can create a big mess.. but it is a far cry as compared when she is under the care of the maid. I can nvr have my meals in peace. The younger will be all over me n the maid can't do anything abt it.
So what i do now when hb is not around.
If i am lazy i scoop the kids' food on a plate wif 2 spoons. Very bad habit n then i plonk them both in front of the TV. Finish n get it over n done wif very fast.
can't be help lah.. sometimes by the time i pick them up from CC after work. So tired oredi. Just cook those 1 pot meal n all eat tog. Esp if hb not coming home for dinner, wan to wash up as little as possible.

Once in a blue, blue moon, the kids' aunites will bring the older one out to shop so i am kind of relieve. Otherwise, the kids are involve in all the hsehold activities. Keeping the clothes, putting into laundry bag etc... No choice lah.. need to keep them occupied. Otherwise create more mess or ends in big fight or quarrels.

Hee, hee... i know what u mean abt bathing the 2 kids tog. That's wat hb does too. He just sent both in. For me i still prefer to do a one to one. Find it hard to handle 2 rascals in the small confined space. If i do not pay attention, the younger one get scoop water from the floor to drink.. Faintz!!!!
 


oh ya, the scooping episode happen to my boys also!! else the younger boy splash water on the older one, older one cried cos scared of water going into his eyes. I am ok to cramp them both in, as they still sit in their small bath tubs. Then i sit one side watch them play lor...

As for putting them in front of TV, now I dont care what pple says now. I need to keep my sanity, so i also do what you do, except the kids dont eat by themselves! If not for TV, i think even after they had their dinner, we also probably havent got time to eat our first meal siah...

I really hope CC can provide dinner for the kids. I dont mind paying more, but it seems that in CC, my boy can finish his food at stipulated time woah. At home, it gets so drastic that sometimes my hubby will kick him out of the house to threaten him else he just wont eat or swallow!

Whereas for me, on wkdays after work, I will eat my own dinner and feed him same time on the basis that when he is chewing his food, i gobble down my own food, after he swallowed his food, i give him another spoon. Like that save time hor? That will free up maid's time to feed younger one fruits and her dinner too.

So really, says who that when we have a maid, we can go home, sit down enjoy dinner and watch TV!!
 
hey all...

i've done up a list of rules to give to my new maid when she arrives. i've had my own share of horror maid stories so this is a good collection of my experiences. want to share here and hope it helps others, esp 1st timers.

good luck to all and myself too!!!

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rules for maids
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Apple,

My experience with my last two maids had taught me not to chat with them at all. If i have to be the dumb fella in the house the whole day, so be it. I only speak to the maid when necessary. It is helpful since my last two maids were those who have no respect for me or any of my family members.

My current maid, perhaps she's just new, knows her place. She just doesn't appear unnecessarily. She will only come to me if she needs to get something from me, if she needs to inform me something or if i call her. Otherwise, she will be doing her work. This is not my houserule. She just happened to work this way and I like it. I definitely hope that this will continue. so in order for that to happen, i have to manage her the way my bosses had managed me in the office; the same way i managed my staff in the office in the past.

I totally agree with Tamarind on the management. This I find would be the best way. They will learn to respect you and you will find yourself having a happier maid at home.
 
HELP! any mummy have good maid to transfer?

I'm running out of patient with my new myanmar maid..I need to repeat,keep on telling her what to do everyday, everytime... yet she can be stone.. I'm tthe one feeding my kids..she can seat and watch TV, stand and watch tv, once the tv on..her heart like some where else..forgetful, I show her to keep veg. in fridge, the next day, she want to open freezer to keep veg..

The problem, I dont know she forget or cut corner when doing house work..told her prior to sterlise milk bottles, need to rinse the sterliser with water..she can forget and continue to add water everytime she used..till I realise,how come sterlise so long..as the water keep on adding from previously.

With schedule/time table..she still have to keep on remind what to do..
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Not to mention on childcare..stand watch tv, didnt prepare my kids food till i call her to do so..

Bfast, everyday same, make tea and coffee also can make wrong, either wrong number of tea bags per cup..haiz.. how to be patient..yet I'm still taking care of my bb. Help.
 
Jo,

really empathise with you. Looks like your maid is really a statute. You really must tell her that she is here to work sternly. Maybe she is testing your reactions now.

If doesn work out, looks like u must change again. tell the agent... to me she is here for a holiday, trying to act dumb and stupid cos employer will do the chores for her.
 
Nellu, thanks.

Ribena, she like no responsible.. keep toys also have to tell her.. after my kids played, I put them to sleep(noon nap), she can leave those toys on floor till I told her to keep(hav big container for toys).

Can go to sleep, leaving milk bottle(finish milk) till the next day. Dont know how my hubby's new sock only have 1piece after she wash n dry.

One week, yet she never do once my weekly chores. Every afternoon when I put children to sleep,she can read n write..seem like very hardworking to learn to work in my house.

With the letter from MOM, make me more sian.. have to choose another maid soon, no choice need to travel. I can't wait for her to learn n take her time.
 
Jo...oh dear...that's tough.

Somehow, I don't think your Myanmar maid is being lazy. I think she is really not used to being in a modern country. I don't think she has watched tv before, that's why she can't help but keep staring at the tv.

With regard to the house chores, I don't think she understands or knows what to do....I really don't think she has been a maid before. You will just have to keep feeding her instructions for every single thing you want done. She is definitely not automatic.

Back in Myanmar, I feel that life is very simple. No such thing as sterilizer...so she wouldn't know the difference between changing water or topping it up. Her thinking is probably as long as got water then it's clean.

It's going to take alot of repeating and alot of patience with a Myanmar maid but I feel that if you can overcome this hurdle she will be a loyal employee. I have 2 friends with Myanmar maids who told me the beginning was very difficult but once they get used to it then never any problem. One friends Myanmar maid has been with him for 15 years.

There is no way you can leave your kids with her whilst you travel yet. That would be dangerous.

Don't worry about the MOM letter. I received 2 already. They don't actually do anything.
 
Liana, hmm.. i dont know what to say..

today, we had early dinner, so she finish washing after 7pm.. so only do laundry.. I wondering what she do that till 10.30pm stil in common bathroom..

I just went to check, she is praying on her matress.. and I realise she didnt finish her work in kitchen.. so I went to bedroom to wait n see if she will finish her work as I leave the kitchen light on..

After a few minutes, I saw her sleeping..I wake her up, told her, she didnt finish her work.. leaving bowl n cup n milk bottle not wash, pot of porridge not wash, drinking water bottle not wash , plates n cutleries not keep in their place... living room not tidy.. haiz.. the most surprise, she make up.. put something(powder) on her face, lipsticks..to sleep??? So have so much time in bathroom, not working but doll up herself at this hour??? My boy laughed, enter my bedroom..I asked why? what so funny? he reply, I tot I just saw a clown(maid)..
 
Jo,
I don't think you can leave her to do her job automatically. Each time there is something in the sink you have to tell her to do it. If your living room is not neat you will have to tell her to do it. She's not automatic. Every day must tell her...even the most simple things. When you see her watching tv you have to tell her not to watch and to do whatever she is supposed to do. She does not know how to behave as a maid.
Myanmar people are very simple and not exposed to the outside world. Their country is ruled by the military junta and the people are oppressed. Once they are out of their country everything is new to them so they will go a bit coo-coo with the tv watching, not working well etc.

Errrm...don't know about the make-up part. Reminds me of when I was a teenager. I used try hairstyles and make-up in my room. I think you should let her know it is not appropriate to wear make-up if her job isn't finished for the day. I suppose if she's done then it's ok if she wants to doll up?
 
Jo,
I'm sorry to hear that.

I agree with Liana. You've got to show her step by step everything she has to do and yes, i don't think she knows what a maid needs to do.
You just need to be v patient with her.

I've got a myanmar maid and the initial months were frustrating also. She doesn't know that she has to fill the vacuum flask with hot boiling water and not just hot water that was boiled some 30mins ago. Plugged the vacuum cleaner in one room, extended it to the other room and then tell me, "maam, wire not long enough" Duh, told her that she could actually use the plug in the other room for the vacuum cleaner.

it sounds funny now that i'm recounting it but it was damn frustrating then. But at least mine knows how to behave as a maid, just that she doesn't know what to do.

So i set out a routine for her. Even trained my #2 newborn to feed and sleep on schedule so that things are more predictable for her. She turns out to be a gem now. Still very good attitude after 2+ yrs, loves the kids, does all the chores that i need her to do without me nagging.

Don't lose heart. Give her some time to adapt. show her what to do. give very specific instructions, she may turn out to be a great help to you. But of course, if u sense that her attitude is not right even after all the hand-holding, then you'll hv to decide whether to let her go.
 
Jo,

Sorry to hear your experience.

I also have a New Myanmar maid, she has with me for the past 1 months. I find her okie, able to help me, has initiative and some common sense. I hope I'm lucky this time. Over the past 3.5 years, I have changed number of maids, but sorry to tell you that I have not met any maid like what you have mentioned.

I suggest if you find her unsuitable, get a replacement. Don't end up with all the anger you have to put up with her and then end up unbalance. Don't get angry with her, it is afterall a match and mis-match issue, so don't get personal. Worst to worst, you get maidless for a while. Anyway, as what you mentioned, you more or less are coping things on your own rather than the maid

Try searching for a new one now. OR probably before you do such step, talk to your maid, to hear her side of stories, and what you can help her in order for her help you back. And try not to threatend them, sometimes it may backfire.

Hope this helps.
 
Jo, frankly speaking, if you are going to travel soon, I would seriously think that you should consider someone experienced in childcare and independent enough.

Of course, by saying this, it's also not easy to find someone trustworthy enough or competent enough to do it. But really a fresh won't really help much cause without experience, they totally are clueless as in what to do, even the most basic requirements such like washing the clothes or cleaning the house. But since our priority is our kids, then getting someone with the relevant experience and has worked in Sin would help alot. At least they know what to do and the basic expectation in Sin.

I must say, over the past 3.5 yrs, I've changed at least a dozen of maids too. I've tried experienced maid, fresh maid, indo maid, phil maid, young maid, old maid. In the end, I still choose ex-sin indo maid. Yes, they are a little hard to control, but they know what they have to do, and you just need to make sure they follow your houserules.

I know you probably also know and understand what I've said here and may have your other concern, but I really feel that a fresh maid needs alot of time to train and won't help you much if you are really going to travel soon.
 
Jchew, my current maid, new in sin but have exp in Yangon with 4children and she is the only maid..that's why I hire her,after many time checking/asking the agent to confirm that she want to work with me,3kids and 2elderly at home.. her aged 30yrs old, college/degree..can cook myanmar food.. but I didnt ask her common sense.. when I want to interview her, agent said hard to contact her,as myanmar not convenient. I'm rush too, my old maid gav me problems and threaten to run away..
 
Jo, I can really empathise your situation as I have been thru such things as well. I guess, now you have no choice but to look for another one that at least can care for your children.

Just my personal experience, I will never consider a maid who has home experience as I have had married maids with kids, or was told they help relatives to care for kids, etc. Ended up, when they arrive, they say, I don't take care of my kids cause I need to work, or I only help to play with them, kind of things. So, I usually try to find a maid that finishes contracts, and truely taken care of babies and young children before. And because my children all goes to in law's house on weekdays, I also require my maid to have experience working with elderly. Someone who always says yes, they can, I will not engaged also, cause they are desperate, and say yes just to come.

Actually, at the end of the day, our experience only can help a little cause sometimes circumstances do affect our decisions. I also just got my new maid, and really hope this time will end my maid search. She's not extremely bright, but decent enough to handle most of the things with her ex-sin experience. A bit forgetful, but humble enough to ask and learn. Good attitude - I pointed out things that she does wrong, she also willingly accept and apologise. But she's with me for a few days only. I'm not sure her attitude change or not, but currently, I'm please with her performance accepting her little flaws here and there.

Hopefully, you can also find someone that can really help you out soon.
 
I saw some stain on my livingroom(floor),while playing with my children(with toys all over on floor), and I asked my maid..what is this(not 1 patch but at least 3-4).. she before answer, that moment I tot of menses.. and told her, quickly clean with wet tissue paper and throw away, still need to tell her to change and wash her pant separately. I asked if she use pad(which I already gav her a big packet on her 1st day). She said yes, but I dont think so
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Jo...OMG...I can't take it already...was it really blood on the floor? I just told my hubby and his eyes popped out of his head in disbelief. I think you better tell your maid how to use the pad...she may have only used a cloth in Myanmar. If you dun tell her end up like my maid sticky side up!
 
Liana, I'm laughing reading your post..as u mentioned sticky side up... i did ask if she know how to use, she said yes.

I told her to lock toilet/bathroom's door when using(maid use the common,near kitchen),when i 1st orientated her.(1st day)..one night(luckily dark,light not on), i saw her seating on toilet bowl(pas urine) with the door open
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I remind her again, what if Sir is the one that saw her???
 
Liana, yes, blood stain, like not fresh tomato sauce, drag a few place, think, when she seat and move without lift up her back side. lucky not on the toys and my children dont know about it, stil enjoy playing.
 
Now my maid make up again..I asked her, why she make up go to sleep, she just smile..saying her country..cant express/talk.. does that mean, myanmar people put on make up to sleep??? sound so weird??? see maid have time to make up, I look more like maid, the one without make up and attending to children..feeding my 2younger girls infront of TV(no choice,to make them seat down watch and eat), while maid eat her dinner on dining table. Where to find a good helper..
 
Jo, I have encountered similar things but with a PH maid, who even stained the floor and the leather car seat! I dont think this maid really suits your requirements. Regardless of the MOM's letter or not, I think you should really go for an experienced maid - maybe like just finished a contract and wants to come back type. I dont know what makes you choose a Myanmar maid, but I think you really need someone who knows what roughly she has to do in a household and then someone whom you can really communicate with. Forget abt this current maid, I dont think you can really trust her with any housechores.

As for the powder thing, its not her fault. I understand that almost in Myanmar streets use such powder - its their culture thing. Dont know the details but I heard from a friend who worked in Myanmar for a while.

For now, just stay focus to choose another maid....be it PH/ID maid, doesnt matter, just get someone whom are experienced. You desperately need some help.
 
Eeeks! How come she is not shy...can sit on the toilet without closing the door!

The make-up thing is her self-expression that she was not able to do in Myanmar. I think that's the least of your worries.

If the girls need feeding then you need to tell her to come and feed. Do not allow her to sit and eat. She can eat after the children have been fed. She needs to learn her responsibilities. Unfortunately, you are going to have to tell her for every single thing that she does. No choice since she has no idea. I don't think she's a bad or lazy maid though...unlike those Filos who cut corners and are damn lazy. I think she just does not know what to do.

What do you plan to do Jo?
 
I tot of getting a replacement asap or worst, additional maid for the time when I travel..cos time running out, what if another same happen..and she dont have much time to adapt.. the current do hse chores and the exp in childcare/ex-sin handle my children when I travel(both hubby n I)..so home only 2elderly n 3kids..where my ILs cant do/help anything.

I told my hubby to lock/check the door and keep the key..incase she go out party when we all sleeping but dont think so..she is new and so blur.

I did asked maid to feed my older girl and I feed my bb but end up, she watch TV with my girl without feeding her.

The problem of communication, that make me confused, whether she cant understand or she is blur.. already told her many time, I need to work and will travel soon.. she need to handle evrythings when I'm not home, I did told her she need my instruction all the time to do things, asked her to see time, should know what to do by now, its daily routine..repeat the same work daily.. only good about her, her attitude..eat less too..she said never eat bread before,too expensive in myanmar. no wonder she dont know what is jam, when i gav her, she ask how to eat/use..
 
Jo,
I have experiences with Myanmmar maids. Yes, they have great attitudes, if u manage to train them well...(provided that ur patience didn;t ran out b4 that)
They will most likely not get involve in boy fren relationship, make telephone calls etc...
BUT.. they r SUPER HARD to train!!!!!! And training can take up to 6 mths. Whatever u have mentioned, i have experience of that with even Indo n Fli maids (yes, menses, act blur, act as statute n watch TV. My last filip can stand n do nothing for 3 straight hrs)
For the Indo and Fili.. Yes, i am truely sure that that was all an act to test my patience or to show that they can't do n u let them off..
But for Myanmese.. i honestly dunno.. Somehow their country is that backward and their minds r so simple. That their actions are beyond our comprehension. I wld stongly suggest u to get a new maid. For FTWM, there is simply no way we can take such long leaves to train them.
Yes.. my fren who is a SAHM trained her Myanmese maid for 6 mths before she can see an improvement.
 
Jo,

I am sorry to hear that your Myanmar maid turns out to be of such standard...

Sigh...mine was not any better too...Now, after 1 week with me, I still have to constantly remind her what to do for the everyday routine work. I have to instruct her for every single chore. The worse thing is that I notice she does not refer to the timetable I prepared for her (dunno cos is her laziness or she thinks she knows what to do??). Therefore, ended up, she would miss out some of the work or she could not organise her work. However, I must say, there is a slight improvement this week as compared to last week when she first came. At least now she knows how to do the chores but not organised.

This morning, I almost lost my DD due to my Myanmar maid's stupidility. When we were leaving my house for my in-laws', I told my maid to hold on to my DD's hand and wait for me while I was locking the door. My DD refused to let her hold and ran towards the lift landing. My maid just stood there waiting and did not chase after my DD. I quickly told my maid to go after my DD and wait for me at the lift. When I went to the lift, I saw only my maid and my DD was not in sight!! I asked her and she said my DD has gone inside the lift and the door closed!! I got so panicked and quickly checked the lift went upstairs or downstairs. Luckily the lift went down and rushed down to the ground floor and saw my DD standing outside the lift with a kind lady watching her! I was so mad with my maid and really scolded her but I think she might not understand what I was scolding her for..vomit blood!!

After this morning, she has convinced me that she is incapable of child minding...only standard housework chores.
 
Jo,
Oh dear I would freak out if I were you to see all those stains. It is so sickening ! My number 2 maid(no experience) didn't dare to ask me for pads when she arrived, I only found out when I saw stains all over her skirt.

One of my houserules is that my maids cannot sit on any of our beds. My bedsheets are all white in colour !

As a full time working mommy, I only employ experienced maids, because I simply do not have the time, effort or patience to train a new one.

I would advise you to hire maids who have at least 3 to 4 years working experience in Singapore. Even if you have encountered one experienced maid who is bad, you should keep changing until you find a good one, but always try those experienced maids, they will give you less headaches.

I don't believe that one race or nationality is definitely better than others. That's why I simply stick to Indonesian maids, and keep changing until I get a good one. Whether you get a good maid or not, depends on your luck, not on the nationality.

We must also remember that we cannot depend on maids solely to look after our kids. I would advise you to get someone to supervise your maid when you are working or traveling. If your mother or in-laws cannot do it, hire a local babysitter who can come to your house to look after your kids, while the maid do the housework. I know it costs more, but this is the best arrangement for your kids and it is money worth spending.

We have of course heard of other mommies who manage to find good maids to look after their kids without supervision. But not everyone can be so lucky to find a good and reliable maid. I have changed a total of 8 maids, and my current maid is the best, but even she could not have handled a toddler and a baby all by herself. But then now my kids are 4 and 5 years old, and the toughest part is over.

One of my cousin also has a very good Indonesian maid now, but that is after they changed about 15 maids !
 
kristen_mum,
OMG what was your maid thinking at that time ? Did she panick ? How come she does not even have basic common sense ?
 
Hi ladies...

My 3 mths Filipino maid has utter the "not happy send me back to agent" line..
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I told her to put in effort in bathing my son the way I taught her to as I've been letting her doing it her way for the past 3mths &amp; my son looks dirty &amp; sloppy when I get home from work.. His skin become dry &amp; his skin around his mouth got rashes.. She's not happy already &amp; told me to send her back... aaarrrrggghhhh!! I haven't comment how she's been upkeeping the hse.. End up I've to spruce up the hse &amp; kids myself.. haiz..

Was wondering why this filipino helper tends to easily utter this line? Is it in their culture to easily throw in the towel? Are they told/taught to do so by their agent? Or they can't be ticked off for not doing a decent job? Any FILIPINO here can enlighten me? I'm aware they LOVE to chat with their kabayans which I'm fine with it but to easily give up after we've trained, feed them well &amp; not to say the $$ we've "invested" to get them to help us out..
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I really don't know how to treat them anymore.. I thot if I abit bo-chap they'll tend to appreciate the gestures but nothing I do, pleases them.. Took her along on my many short getaways, let her uses my handphone &amp; bought her IDD card so she can chat with her frens &amp; yet this is what I get?? Just becoz I told her to pay attention to things she do... What are these helpers looking for in S'pore employer I also don't get it... How nice do they want us to be before they bear with us till their contract over..
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Told her I don't mind she slow but at least be clean, thorough &amp; pay attention to what she's doing. My hse she can't upkeep well it's ok but my kiddos also she can't. I'm not saying she not gd just want her to put in effort.. Already she call in quit.. Told her to think about it &amp; let me know if she really no longer happy &amp; no heart to work for me...

HEADACHE loh...
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RMS, you are not alone...yes many of them cannot be tickled at all. Just like mine dat day, she does things w/o my permission, what i mean is that she went to buy her own things after sending my son to childcare, after i told her i am not happy and said that i trusted her but she cannot take me for granted - just like that, she almost want to DIE man!!!!

I ever told my agent about this, and he really sounded that we cannot tickle them at all. In his opinion, these PH maids (some of them) really hope to do the best, but if we keep making noise, they somehow feel demoralised and therefore no heart to work. So now, i will sometimes, sigh and then say lines like this, how many times u want me to teach you leh?? And let the matter pass. Afterall, many of them standard is really so so only. Whether they keep the kids clean or not, really is about themselves really. So far, I have only one maid (out of my 8 maids) v good in keeping herself v clean and tidy - housework also not bad.

In fact, i realised my ex-ID maids, no matter what i say, they cant even be bothered! That to me is worse off!
 
RMS,
That is why I always treat my maids in the same way that my boss treats me. I will reward my maid for good performance by giving her salary increment or bigger hong bao or a nice gift during her birthday. She is well respected, we say please and thank you to her. But nothing more than that. She is not my friend, she is my employee.

We never know what kind of maid we get. There are many ungrateful ones out there. So it is best to treat them strictly in an employee-employer relationship. If their performance does not meet our requirements or their attitude is not good, we send them away. No need to feel bad about it. We pay the maid a salary and they work for us. Either party has the right to terminate the relationship. I had 2 maids who told me they want to change employer. One maid said that she wants to find an easier job where she can take afternoon naps and talk on the phone all day. I was more than happy to send them away.
 
RMS, Eileen,
i think i mentioned before in this thread about the Filipino's std with child minding and babycare. But before i go on, i'd better state that i'm not being racist or discriminatory. Whatever I share here is my observation.

As i said before, i encounter MANY Filipino families in my church (me being Catholic and them being majority Catholic). The things i see them do in that one hour in church is enough to convince me that they don't mind their children the way we do.

First of all, they let their crawlers crawl all over the place. It's so dirty. cos everyone walks in and out of the church compound. There are easily 5000 pairs of feet and shoes that pass the place. The church is probably only cleaned once a week (my guess. I'll be expensive to do it everyday for a darn huge place). The kids crawl and pick things from the floor and pop into their mouths!

Second, they let them run and cause a ruckus all over the place. IN CHURCH!! While mass is going on!!! Everytime this happens I have never ever seen any of the parents putting in effort to rein their kids in, and educate their kids to behave appropriately. This is very embarrassing cos the situation has gone so bad that the priests have to remind the churchgoers week aft week aft week abt this! And priests dun even have kids! :)P)

Third, they are forever noisy. Like all my maids (even this new one), even when they are already told to let my boy play quietly close to nap/bedtime, still they'll act the clown, shout and run all over the house. Really very angry with them for that. I see this in church as well. One example, one kid was obviously tired and needing a nap. The mother tried to rock, er..sorry should be shake here...Filipinos LOVE to shake their kids...the kid to sleep. The uncle who was sitting next to them, still playing the clown with the kid!! walao...how is the child going to sleep, right??

They are the "dun care" type lor...let the kids roll in mud, rub in the food into their shirts and hair, eat dust and pebbles....

If you want them to mind your kids, then either you have to close both eyes or you really have to train them really hard lor....

btw, my maid forgot to sterilise bottles x2! and then thought that I cook porridge is like cook chicken adobo...burnt her lunch in the end! SIANZ!
 
Kristen, i have the same feeling about my myanmar.. they r too stone to response on childcare.. i told her many time since day 1, the children must eat, sleep, shower/bath/clean, need a lot of attention.. yet she still stone n dont care to feed my girl.. let me do her job.. when maid play with them just used her mouth but body stay at a place, keep using mouth to call my bb/girl.. like my children so obedient and can listen.. maid should go to children and do action instead of using her mouth(give instruction,come baby come...)..
 
I treat my maid better than my boss treat me.. haiz.. kindness doesn't pay ... I try to be gd employer but none of the maid value it.. I gave my maid.. gd food, enough rest, x'mas, b'day gift, bonus, holidays, her own rm, handphone, but still ...

She eat whatever my family eat. No discrimination at all. Gave her the liberty to let her buy her own food when we dine outside. Mind you, she can eat 4 egg prata for bfast &amp; before noon already hungry to eat more. She ate my stuffs w/o asking, I also cham siong. &amp; yet when I casually remarks on her performance for the past 3 mths, she's so cocky ask me to send her away..

Should I just send her away or have a gd talk to her &amp; give her chance?

Good help is hard to find now.. I've made a mistake of sending my 2nd maid away coz I listen to my head than my heart.. she got attitude la but her work tip top.. my son was well-taken care off &amp; my hse was so well-upkept..
kao_sad.gif


My hubby told me to ignore but I can't stand this ungrateful, high &amp; mighty act.. he said it cld be one of our women's outburst.. I'm not a little-little mini-fault finder kinda employer &amp; yet my maid makes me feel crap over the weekend with her cavalier remark ..
kao_angry.gif
 
RMS,
If we treat the maid very well, she is more likely to think that we cannot do without her. That we are at her mercy. Not many maids know how to be grateful. I think we cannot under estimate maids, not all of them are simple village girls.

If my maid start saying that "not happy send me back", I will definitely start looking for a new maid. But I think you should judge your more by her work performance, rather than what she said. If she really want to go, she will tell you that she wants to transfer. Is her work good enough for you to tahan such nonsense ?
 
jo,
i was surprised that your agent did not forewarn you abt the initial problems with myanmar maids. Most of us here agree that myanmar maids can be a gem if you have time to train them.
Obviously your situation does not allow the time luxury. If you need to travel soon, maybe explore full day childcare or get an ex-sin experienced maid.
 
nellu

I've got a few FILIPINO colleagues who are so "hygienically" clean than any of us here in office... &amp; my previous 2nd maid was also very like this.. she really put effort &amp; pay attention to details when cleaning the house &amp; mind the kids.. accept for my hopeless 3rd maid &amp; my current maid can work but quite sloppy but not so darn bad as the 3rd one.. nevertherless I still have high regards on FILIPINO hygiene than Indo or Myammar helpers..

1 thing I agree is that they are a very friendly bunch... LOVE &amp; I mean LOVE to chat/talk, talk &amp; talk with any body.. is in their nature la... don't talk can die nature
biggrin.gif
 
Ivy, my 2nd girl in fullday child care ctr.. even both girls in CC, I still need someone to attend to them when I travel(attend at night,after return from CC,dinner,shower,sleep,or nite feeding my bb).. so no way, without maid.. I tot of giving up hope on maid but no other choice.. elderly can't help..
 
ya, RMS, i think COMPARATIVELY Fils are still cleaner than others...but their child-minding methods...sigh...a lot of bad habits there lah, which i think many of us would not agree with lor.
 
tamaraind

I think so to.. since I let my maid up to their discretions on how to carry out the works that I've scheduled for them to do.. I only random check when my time permit which is rarely.. Guess they go overboard when they thot I'm not so "ON" / particular ...

My current maid her work is passable but I kinda pissed that she could say what she said last Saturday just becoz I told her after 3mths she hasn't catch up on things that I need her to do my way.. so now I not shiok with her.. but don't have the luxury of time to take &amp; train new help... shucks...
 
nellu

filipinos have a care-free attitude towards child-minding... my fillipinos colleagues told me that we s'porean are very uptight when minding our kids.. how to raise a creative/innovative bunch.. a little bit of germs or fall won't kill he said...
come to think of it ... there's 30% truth to his comment..

I've stiffle my daughter creativity that after 10 yrs old she still highly dependent on me on lotsa of simple things..
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RMS,

hehehe the bit abt the germs I agree....but other things i dun. Like shaking the baby? What about teaching kids to behave appropriately at various places, eg in church? I don't call that creativity lor. I call that poor upbringing.

There are many ways to let kids learn how to be creative lah... and yes singaporeans are too uptight. Eg. My goddaughter who is 3 now told her mum (my friend) that she wants to be a firefighter when she grows up. My friend asked me to talk her girl out of it. My thoughts are "why so uptight? She's only 3. THe ambition will change." Anyway i don't see anything wrong with a girl wanting to be a firefighter. I think it's a noble job and for a girl to do that, tha's definitely trailblazing!..Now this is what i call stiffling creativity.
 
nellu,
Firefighter ? heheh my girl now wants to be a fashion designer, previously she wanted to be an airline pilot. My boy wants to be a helicopter pilot. I agree that we don't need to be so uptight with a 3 year old
happy.gif


My filipino maid number 3 also love to shake my baby !

RMS,
I think all maids now know that they can change employer easily. MOM warns employers who change maids more than 4 times a year. But MOM will issue work permit easily to a maid even though she has changed employers 10 times.
 
Jo,

Better that you change your maid if you find that she is incapable of taking care of your children esp while you are away.

For me, I can still give my Myanmar maid some time to train becos my DD is mostly taken care of by my MIL even when I had Indon maids. My case is different from you becos although my MIL cannot do strenous physical work, she still cooks and feed my DD. Now, she has to bath my DD since we are not confident with the maid to bath my DD. Therefore, my maid usually does the rest of the housework which requires more physical strength, like sweeping, mopping, washing toilets, gardening, cleaning of windows, washing up after my MIL cooks and other general housework.

Over at my house, I only train my Myanmar maid in housework first cos I dont think she can handle my DD yet although she is a mother of 3 herself. I once showed her how to bath my DD but when she did it, she was so rough until my DD felt onto the floor. She told me this is how she bathed her children in her country!! I will be very happy if she can master the housework. I am not expecting her to be able to cook or childcare at all. Therefore, if she cannot even handle housework well after a period of training, then I will have to return her since she does not serve my purpose of hiring her at all.
 
Tam,

yalor..dun need to get unduly upset over the kids' ambitions i think. In fact, it is better to encourage them instead of 'pouring cold water' on their ideas...hmm...maybe i'm a different sort of mummy. I'd want to encourage my kids to try out things for themselves instead of having us parents decide for them.

yes..dunno why the Fils LOVE to shake babies...drives me up the wall when i see that!
 
RMS,
I have to agree with you about Filos...they can't take scolding so if you show you are not happy they will simply ask for a transfer. And they all say the same thing "not happy, send me back". I have no problem sending them back lor...problem is, they dun even want to wait til I get me a new maid and prefer to run off. Fine lah, I'm so used to it already. They don't give a sh*t whether they put us in a difficult position with regard to childcare arrangements, housework or whatever so I also dun care n just buy ticket and send them back to the Philippines.

Another thing I really dun understand is why these maids don't just simply run away on their OFF DAY!! Why choose a weekday???

I have to agree 100% with Tamarind. Treat them like employees cos that's what they are. Forget the fren, fren thing with your maid unless you dun mind them taking advantage of your easy going nature and kindness. Once you get too friendly all the unreasonable requests start appearing. Learnt my lesson from my 1st pain in the ass Filo maid.

I know alot of mummies prefer their maid not to have a mobile phone but I feel that if the maid has one it saves me alot of face time. I just ask her not to use it whilst working. At night she can chat all she likes....that way I dun need to chit chat with her at all and she's not lonely.

Also same with off days. I like her to do her stuff on her day off every Sunday. That way she never has to ask me to buy anything for her or remit money or any of her personal stuff. I also don't care what she does on her day off as long as she does her job properly.
 
Tot of getting a transfer maid, but when I ask to speak with employer, agent said..employer dont want to be disturb.. asked why, employer to fussy..

When maid transfer, alway the employer's problem(wrong on the employer.
 


Jo, whish agent are you with now? Still Crislo?
Hmmm... he/she does not seem genuine about getting a good helper for you. You might want to change the agent instead.
 
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