Advise on Baby & Maid Exps


hi mommies,

i'm just back from my msia. 1st trip with maid as we drove up with my inlaws.
it was enjoyable but my maid still managed to make me angry. in fact, very angry just on the next morning that we arrived at genting.

u see, my fil paid for her (we got 2 hotel rooms so bf for only 4 adults) to take breakfast with us at the hotel buffet.
after we got our seats, i carried my girl with me to get some food.
i came back and told me maid - u go and eat first.
i dun know why she still stand around (though look like trying to help take care of my son)
seeing she didnt move. i repeat - u go and eat first. then later u can take care of the kids.
she nod, but still din move.
i then complain to my hb (in chinese) - she like da xiao jie, still need me to 'invite' her to eat or bring food for her?!
hb repeat the same thing to her, but still she din go.
my mil came back with food, and she also ask maid to go and eat.
maid ignore my mil and look away!
i was angry le - ah ma is talking to u lei?!
maid then reply - i'm not hungry. not eating.
so be it.
but my ils were afraid she will be hungry and keep asking her to eat.
after we all finish eating my mil even went to get some food for her but dunno why my maid still having black face dun want to eat, even after hb told her we have paid for her.
by then i was quite angry. as we were about to leave, hb say i dun black face dun spoil the mood (as we are bringing the kids to the theme park).
wa lau, who's the one spoiling the mood?!

anyway, we still went ahead to the theme parks.
but i cant help feeling bitter why my maid is behaving like this.
not sure is it bcos she's having her menses - PMS?????
then when my son & hb were napping in the hotel room, i brought my girl out alone to play.
it felt so gooood!
no need to tahan her long face!

sorry, i just need to vent...
 
Wendy

At one stage, I also very concerned whether my maid eat or not....tell you, next time, just dont bother...she hungry she will know how to eat....Next time, dont bother to bring her and eat buffer,just send her to eat when she decided to eat....
 
Kristen mum, your maid reach 17May? Now have flight from Myanmar??..cos agent dont confirm yet, arrange my maid 21May but cant confirm the flight.
 
Jo,

I did check with my agent again last Friday and she told me that so far there was no problem with their maids coming over. Therefore, I assume that she should be here already on Sat since my agent did not call me to inform me otherwise. I will call her tomorrow to check again as they are not open today.I am keeping my fingers cross that she is already here in S'pore by now as my MIL keeps asking me abt the maid...
 
Hi wendy,

same experience. once we took our maid with 10 other friends for outing, during dinner time, we distributed the food equally among all the adults including my maid. DH passed a remark in chinese asking me if my indo maid can finish her food. upon hearing it maid refused to touch her food.
she didn't eat during the whole dinner and all my friends were fussing over why my maid refused to eat. I told them to ignore the helper cos the food has already been placed on her plate. same amount as us, no left over, pipping hot, fresh, no pork. what more can i do??
ever since then, i don't bring the maid out with us anymore. it's quite embarrassing and waste my money too.

harriet
 
hi ladies,
My ex-maid of 2wk had kept my hb's hairs to do black magic.We found out tat when we went thru her things at the agent.

She is the mother of two,looks extremely honest & demure.We sent her back bcoz she is unable to follow instruction,stubborn,tink highly of herself,kept making mistakes,lying..etc...

I'll post her photo & detail in Tamarind blog.Pls look out for this maid.
 
Avacado, so terrible. Did you ask what spell did she cast ?

My maid did it again. Sat we came back from grocery shopping. She took the dishwashing detergent and asked "this one keep in the fridge?".

Nothing harmful...but just plain irritating.
 
suzie,
i tink she interested in my hb.I am not sure what spell bcoz she kept denying it was her hair not my hb one.But she has curly hair while my hb hair is straight. She wrapped until so nice n kept inside her pouch, she tink we're stupid to believe her.who wanna keep her own hair,right?

haha..i tink ur maid is trying to be funny.But if u read my story,u'll find it even more amusing bcoz my ex-maid washed the wrong car
 
suzie,
ha...your maid so funny...ask you whether detegent keep in the fridge?? Sometime dunno whether they really toopid or do it in purpose. And can't blame us saying them toopid as they ask toopid qns!!
 
chole,
very busy without maid for sure. house a little more messy but can be done neater if we put in more effort. got a part time cleaner in to clean weekly. but less complaints to my hubby and don't have to worry or bother about her new tricks everyday. And my children are safer.
 
hi need some advice:

I will be opening a bank account for my maid next month, my first time, can I check:

1) Do u let your maid keep her own bank book?
2) Do u allow her to carry the ATM card?
3) Do you keep any part of your maid's salary after opening the bank account? Although I am keeping $100 per month for her now I will be depositing the $500 she has with me in the bank. Do you deposit her entire salary into her bank account each month? or deposit $100 and give her the balance in cash?
 
happybabe,
My maid also has her personal bank account.

1) Yes. She updates her bank book on her off day.
2) No. My maid does not have ATM card.
3) I am not keeping any part of her salary after she worked for me for more than 1 year.
I ask her every month whether she needs any cash. Sometimes she says she needs to send money home, so I give her cash. If she does not need any cash, I transfer the whole amount to her account.
 
Anyone has a sample letter for maid to sign, maid asked for transfer..but dont want to leave(to her country),as she choose her employer..

-state maid asked for transfer/terminate contract
-at her on risk, after I send her to agent(she insist me to send her to agent)
 
Jo
I still don find it safe for u to just let her sign the letter, cos not sure the legal stand of this letter and it's not witnessed by lawyer, etc.. Maybe i'm paranoid after all the news about maid getting hurt outside employer's house and employer has to fork out huge medical costs, despite maid already not the employer's employment ...

Got to be a bit hard-hearted in handing this matter, meaning forced-sending her off singapore, cos as long as she is still in singapore under your name (ie. her work permit bearing your name), you are responsible for her until either she changes employer or leaves the country ..
 
Jo,
The letter will not protect you in any way. No such thing as "at her own risk" since MOM guidelines clearly state she is still your responsibility until she finds a new employer. You will still be liable for anything that happens to her whilst she is at the agent.

Simplest way is to repatriate her. Less headache for you.
 
i think MOM states that upon cancelling her WP, she has to leave Spore within 1wk, else she will be considered as illegal immigrant .. and employer is responsible for ensuring she leaves spore
 
Hi mommies,

I understand that when we send the maid back to e agent, we cannot cancel their WP and have to pay for 21 days of F&L ($10 / day) plus levy. Does that mean that as long as the maid cannot find a new employer, i cannot hire a new one and what happen if she cannot find a new employer?
 
hi lostinthots

I remember that when I sent my first maid back to the agent after her short stint of 2 months,the max you have to pay is the 21 days stated by your agent for the agent to find her another employer. Once the 21 days is over, the responsibility of the maid now lies with the agent. My agent sent the maid home in the end cos he could not find another employer for her.

My second and current maid ran away from her ex-employer's home because she told me that her employer didn't treat her well and refused to send her back to her agent for her to find another employer. She ran away penniless and found her way back to her agent when she flagged down a cab and the taxi driver offered to send her there for free after hearing her out. Her ex-employer was furious when contacted by the agent and went ahead to cancel her WP on their own and bought an air ticket for her to return home. With the WP cancelled, she cannot stay here to look for another employer and had to return to her country but she still wants to work in Singapore. So she had to pay her agent all over again to get employed in Singapore. That's how she came to be working with me now.
 
just to share. Don't believe fully what the maid said about previous employers ill-treating them or abuse them. A lot of time these are just lies to cover up for their mistakes or misdeeds. I also used to believe what my maid told me about her ex-employer. but sometimes she forgot what she told me before and the bad ex-employer story can come up in 3 different accounts.
my advice is to just listen with a pinch of salt and take no pity.
 
Hi all,
sorry to interrupt.I would like to seek your advice in maid transfer matters. I just interview a maid today who is about to finish her contract on 18 june. she does not want to go back and want to start work immediately after her contract ends. However,this agent told me that she needs to go home first then come back coz the time to renew her work permit is too short.MOM might not approve coz it's only 2 weeks away. Personally, i don't think so.I think that agent just want to make another 6 months of loan from the poor maid.Anyone can give me any advice? Thanks A MILLION!
 
I agree with LV. You cannot totally believe it when a maid tells you her previous employers abused/ill-treated them. My first maid told me her previous employer only let her eat carrots and rice every day and threw hot milk on her etc....then when she came to my place she was the one who totally ill-treat and abuse us!!!!

There's no place for sympathy in my heart for whatever a maid has been through in the past. I have learned my lessons with my 6 maids. As long as she works well and I treat her fairly is enough. I don't want to hear her sob stories.

Sound harsh? Well, once you have experienced hell at the hands of a maid you will understand what I mean.
 
hi lostinthots

I did not pay for her air ticket after 21 days. But I think the agent probably use the money we pay for the 21 days to buy air ticket for her cos I don't think the maid needs $10/day to be maintained. Just my thots.

hi LV

I agree about being cautious over what maid tell us. My first maid was horrible. I don't trust maids fully myself.
 
I ate my lunch half-way and saw a dead little worm on a veg leaf. My maid is the one who washed the veg. I asked her to see and she asked me what it is. Then i asked her 'do you want to eat it?' she just went quiet - she is hopelessly blur and dim-witted. I am trying to orientate my boy to eat porridge and save the porridge water for mixing in his cereal - then she went and add milk powder to the chicken soup! Her logic is that she always made cereal with milk powder.

Tamarind - i did the opposite for my maid. I kept the bank book and i allowed her the ATM card coz she specifically requested for it. I opened it under joint-account, do i need her to be at the bank to terminate it too?
 
Little Fly
Regarding bank account, it depends whether your joint account was opened as "Joint-All" account or "Joint-Alternate" account. For the former, both persons must go bank together to make any withdrawals and both persons must go bank together to close account. No ATM card nor internet banking is allowed. I think yours is a Joint-Alternate account, since bank allows u to apply for ATM card. U can terminate the account without her.

U are a SAHM? .. i'm now in office eating lunch (tabao) and saw your posting :p
 
Now i have a big problem! My son dun wan me to feed him milk only want the maid. Yesterday maid was on off day so i feed him he reject milk and water the whole day. He didn't even cry for milk at all. As per normal he smile and play and sleep. At ard 5.30 i try to give him water he drink 70ml tat all. For the whole day only 70ml water. Wen i reached hm at 7pm faster ask the maid to feed him and he gulp down 150ml of milk immediately! HOW??? My boy dun wan me to feed him already. Now i am at a lost really dunno wad to do...Will i be able to feed my son again????
 
Jacelyn
How old is your son? Try the distraction method, if possible. Eg. switch on his favorite VCD and let him watch and feed him at the same time .. While engrossed, he will unknowingly drink the milk .. this is the method i used and it usually work well, unless he's not hungry
 
Pinktweet,

My son is at 5 months. Yest i tried all the usual method tat the maid used. He still dun wan. My son has a bad habit that is he only wan to drink milk wen he is half asleep so i swaddle him half asleep then feed he will cry out loud. Who ever try to feed he also dun wan. Yesterday the maid was out 10am and b4 she went out, she feed my boy at 8.15am and at 12plus i try to give milk to 5plus in the evening he also reject! HOw??? so worried that my boy mistaken that maid is his mummy! At nite i also try to feed him he also dun wan. One big mistake i made is i let bb slp with maid... Now he is so close to maid le.....Haiz...
 
Not to worry, Jacelyn, baby has short memory .. be patient and wait for him to eat solid food, then things will be easier .. I remember someone in the forum ever mentioned that though her son was taken care by maid to the extend of sleeping with maid throughout the night for 2yr, he easily get used when maid left after contract and stick to his mommy like super glue .. My son also stick to maid. If both me and maid extend our arms to him, he will go to maid .. sometimes feel quite hurt, but this is only short-term and when he gets older, he will realise we are the mommy ..
 
PinkTweet - my maid just told me between sobs this evening that she wants to go home! Her mom had a stroke last week which she found out on her day off (last sun) and since then, she cannot focus on work. I am gg to close the account tomorrow and try to get an air ticket and cancel her work permit thereafter. My hb is on overseas biz trip and I have to handle this all on my own. Yes, I am currently SAHM.

Any advises on purchase air-tickets - one way return trip to Manila, i think? Are we responsible to send them back all the way to their home town?
 
Little fly, so far, if you book in advance, Jetstar is the most economical. Recently, my friend's maid also last minute wanted to go home and they manage to purchase on the same day ticket by phil airlines for 300+ (one way).
 
Little Fly
No we are not responsible to send them back all the way to their home town, we are only responsible to ensure that they leave singapore upon the cancallation of their work permit. Since we are not familiar abt how she could go back to her home town, the most u can help is to give her a token of money (of course, provided that she has been good to you and family and you don mind giving for compassionate reason) and she go arrange for transport home from manila airport. We have limited means to help from there.
 
Praise the Lord, I'm now having my new maid..which is from mountain..don't know what is fridge, oven, dont know how to open fresh milk box(HL milk), when give instruction, need to repeat in word by word and can give you another thing, or worst stand and be stone with answering Yes, yes mdm..

I'm vomiting blood..

My baby crying with lots of lucus(not sure if this the right words) going into bb's mouth..I asked for face towel to clean..she gave me pacifier..???

Ask she cant understand, no common sense, be stone.. she try to find work..she keep on bring in and out the bamboo stick with clothes hanging out, even wet.. she just write and read all the time with dictionary.. can write the brand name instead of the thing, eg, write lipton not tea, comfort not softener.. I wonder, how to train her and let her look after my bb...I'm going to USA soon..how she can handle 3kids with 2 elderly at home...

Really God bless...

I really think biodata, are lies..might be agent tot her to do so..have exp with 4kids all by herself, university, aged 30...

Only God know..
 
Jo
Hi I am new to this forum but have been following this thread. I have an Indon maid as well and initially she would bring down the clothes when still wet as she has been told to close the windows at night so she follows. After I told her to touch the clothes to see if still wet she now doesn't do it anymore. As for the brand names, I have lived in Indonesia before. They identify things by their brand names rather than the name of the object. So if i need her to get soya bean milk , I tell her to get nutrisoy and then she understands. It is a cultural thing - can't be helped. Also one way I test whether she really understood what I am saying is I ask her to repeat whatever I asked her to do. If she can't I ask her not to say yes blindly but to say I dont understand . I understand the frustration. My maid has been with us 2 months and only now she is able to get the hang of things. Hope this helps.
 
Jo...from Myanmar ? I have already warned you ladies.

But for sure she will not lie, steal and bully the children. You just need lots of patience, she may turn out a gem.
 
Waterlotus, mine was a myanmar..so she can't speak well, I used to hire Indo, where I can speak bahasa..now really blur.. I really pray,she can learn fast.. I told her my house rules, I dont think she can understand.. cos she took my handphone (flip type)..maid open and see(already told/written not to touch madam's things.. think she curious..haiz..
 
JChew, PinkTweet, Thanks for sharing. Its the holiday season now and all flights for TigerAirways are fully booked and Jetstar only has flights as early as 6.30am and costs $369! I think my maid already assumed I would pay for her air tickets coz she just cleared off her loans recently.

Sigh... I don't know how to manage collecting the tickets, cancelling the WP and getting the S pass and sending her to the custom in the wee hrs with my baby in tow. I don't even know where is the budget terminal!

Checking with my agency now and they claimed that I would need to:
- go pay air ticket fees before they can issue
- go collect air tickets after they have been issued
- bring maid down one day in advance
how can i afford to make so many trips to the agency just to send my maid away! They don't provide pickup service even for a fee. Stresssedd...
 
Littlefly,I did by myself... buy ticket online,print out electronic ticket, pay by credit card/nearest 7eleven, cancel wp online, print out the special past..send my maid to airport...check in for her,brought her to the departure hall(terminal 1,as stated on ticket by jetstar)..submit her wp to the immigration at airport.
 
Little fly, ya, it's not that difficult to do actually.

1. Purchase air ticket online - I use Jetstar, then print out electronic ticket.

2. Login to WP Online with your singpass from here: http://www.mom.gov.sg/publish/momportal/en/communities/work_pass/foreign_domestic_workers/e-services_and_forms/WP_Online_for_Employers_of_Foreign_Domestic_Workers.html

and cancel her work permit. You will need to include her departure flight and date. Approval only takes less than an hr. Meaning, after you send in your application to cancel her WP, you login again maybe an hr later to check on the status. Once approve, they will ask you to print out this special pass to staple in her passport.

3. Send the maid to the airport 2 hrs before departure. Hand her whatever money, passport and boarding pass at the custom. Watch her step in and pass through the custom.

4. Send her WP within 7 days back to MOM.

End of your job.

In the meantime, after you cancel her WP, you can also start sourcing for another replacement maid.
 
Jo,

I can fully understand your frustration as my current Myanmar maid is also the same
sad.gif


She told me that she has never seen a TV, fridge, washing machine, oven, etc..in her country before and this is the first time she sees them at my house. I asked her whether the training centre in Myanmar has all these electrical appliances for them to learn, she said no and their so called training are just theory!! They just study and sit for tests. Once they passed, they are qualified to be a housemaid overseas! Can faint...

My maid is from village and she told me she has never used electricity before. They use candles at home. So, you can see she has alot to learn and remember how to use all the electrical things. She did not know how to open a lunch box when we bought a packet of rice for lunch. She torn open the box instead of opening it.

The most funny thing is that she does not seem to know what is embarassment. Last sat I called her outside the toilet thinking that she has finished her shower. She opened the door without any clothes on her body!! Luckily my hubby was not somewhere around. I was so embarassed that I quickly closed the door for her and told her to put on her clothes before she opens the door. Also, at my in-laws house, when my MIL passed her a set of clothes to change after her shower there, she wanted to remove her clothes in front of my MIL!! After hearing, I dont know to laugh or to be angry with her!!

However, the good thing about her is that she can follow my written instructions and do. She cannot understand me most of the time as like you, I need to talk to her word by word very slowly. Really testing my patience. Oh, she eats alot of rice..a high mountain of rice on her plate!

I am giving her a month to see if she can perform and improve..
 
Jo, Jchew, thanks! I just got these settled through another agent with a fee and sending her away on thu night. I cannot manage the 6.40am Jetstar flight (cost around $478) coz there is no one at home to look after my bb if i hv to send my maid to the airport on my own. Now she really no mood to work already...
 
Kristen Mum,
WOW!!!! Your Myanmar maid is simply amazing...I have never read anything like it before.

Hope you will tell us more...it's good to know.

Jo,
Wish you all the best with your new maid! Hope everything works out well for you!
 
Liana,
It's amusing to read the stories...definitely not if you are witnessing it 1st hand. I'm just glad my days with current maid will be over soon...hopefully the new one will be better...just slightly better would be better.

Jo, Kristen_mum, just give her another 2 months. If really can't make it, better change.
 


suzie, liana, Jo, Kirsten,

This is why i won't hire a Myanmese maid. Already an ex-Fil maid who claimed to be lousy in English can drive me up the wall, let alone a really earnest, really don't understand Myanmese?!!? My heart won't be able to take it.

Anyway to update you ladies..my new maid has arrived as of last wednesday. So far she's ok. Has initiative, no black face, no attitude, quite cheerful, can handle my boy well so far, can clean up to my standard.... The poor girl had to work very hard on the first weekend she started with us, which was last week, because we were holding a birthday party for my boy. And since we only just returned from our three week hiatus to Europe, there was also loads of cleaning and laundry to do.... but she seemed to be taking it well. I'm happy about that...and I could not help but compare her with my last two maids and felt what a big difference she was..

...but i have to keep reminding myself not to be too lenient with her....

just keeping my fingers crossed that she will complete her contract..
 
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