Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

san,

You not worry she might do something behind your back since she now know that you are looking to changing her?

Last night I had an appraisal session with my maid and asked her also whether she is happy working with us and whether there is any issues she want to bring up. She had no issues and said happy with workload, environment and etc, etc. I handed her the rules and guidelines, went through it together with her. She signed it and seem ok with it.

Jacelyn,

You can tell your maid that you can change her schedule as and when you want depending on circumstances and our needs. I told mine that it is not fix for 2 years. Then in this way, she will understand and will not be unhappy.
 


Hi lostinthots..
Wah, now i have to reconsider?! Maybe I shd get an Indon maid... not as cunning as the Filipino.. But need more time to train them...

My HB is against Filipino maid.. But I told him he & his parents cannot speak Malay.. how to employ an Indon maid.. I can speak Malay (but half pail water only)... I cant become their translator all the time!
 
Emily,
Can also consider Myanmar maid. But also no guarantee can get good one :p

Pin,
I was reading your past posts about the maid. Looks like you still have maid loan with the agency. I will include her in my blog after you settled everything with the agency.
 
hi lostinthots

somehow im not worried ... shes jus a lazy maid, not wicked maid. tats my personal opinion. if one day, i feel uncomfortable tt she might do things to hurt us or my kids, i wont hesitate to change her. Fyi, abit of background, her mum works part time for my mum, our relative & frens. Then her mum recommend us to hire this maid (her daughter). So somehow, becos we had good relation wif her mum, im not worried abt her doing nasty things. But still, i learnt not to trust her entirely.

If she continues to maintain the improvements, we will keep her. She still hv time til June to improve cos we intend to send her home after my confinement.

We will also do a work evaluation very soon cos shes been with us for abt 5mths already. We are suppose to increase her salary every 6mths by $10. So silly of us to think we are giving her lesser than market rate!
 
This is the article I mentioned yesterday.

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,159990,00.html?

TIME BOMB AT HOME
I'VE RUN OUT OF PILLS MA'AM, I CAN'T SLEEP

Maid with secret mental history breaks down after 3months here
She dances in public, dashes across road with baby

By Tay Shi'an

March 24, 2008

THE first sign that something was amiss with their otherwise perfect maid was when she started behaving erratically at night.


Screaming and crying: Screen captures of the video taken of the maid after she had a mental breakdown, before she was sent to IMH.
What followed were other disturbing signs.

The maid began talking to herself. She couldn't sleep. She danced and flailed about in public, accidentally hitting some pedestrians and commuters.

And then she made a blind dash across North Bridge Road with their one-year-old baby boy in the pram.

When the Singapore couple realised their domestic helper was having a mental breakdown, they sent her to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), where it took eight staff members to restrain her as she hit and kicked violently.

It was only then that the couple found out from a nurse, who called the maid's family in the Philippines, that she had previously been warded in a mental hospital there.

The maid, 26, was discharged from IMH and sent back to the Philippines last week. She had been with them for three months.

The experience left Mr Bonny Yau, 43, a civil servant, and his wife, Madam Li Shu Qin, 31, a teacher at a childcare centre, badly shaken.

It was the first time they had hired a maid and, not only was it a frightful experience that jeopardised their baby Jovann's life, they have also been saddled with the maid's medical bills.


Their question now should be on the minds of many Singapore maid employers: How can you be sure that the maid you are taking home is mentally healthy?

Was the maid agency's checks on the maid's health adequate and thorough? And why should employers be made to foot the maid's medical bill when she had already had a history of mental illness?

Madam Li grapples with the same questions. She asked: 'How did she pass her medical check-up? If she already had problems in the Philippines, how can they make us responsible?'

The maid agency, Budget Employment Service Centre at Thomson Imperial Court, said the maid had passed her medical exam by a Singapore doctor.

It maintained that as everything was done according to existing guidelines, the family should be responsible for the medical bills.

On her medical record, the maid had also declared that she had no history of mental illness.

In the full medical report given to the Yaus, it showed she had cleared the medical exam as well, which consisted mostly of physical tests and an interview with the maid.

We are not naming the maid because of her fragile state of mind.


Recalling the first time they met the maid, Mr Yau said: 'She looked presentable and smart, and her eyes looked alive, bright and normal.'

Madam Li said: 'She was so loving. She would hug the baby and kiss him. She treated Jovann like her own child.'

They showed us several pictures of the maid carrying the baby and smiling happily during family outings to Sentosa, Chinatown, and various shopping malls.

Sometimes though, the couple would notice that the maid would have mood swings - very happy one minute, then silent the next - but they thought that was normal.

Madam Li said that from the first day the maid started working, she had a habit of taking pills.

The maid, when asked about it, said the pills were vitamins for her low blood pressure.

The couple said they did not make it an issue because she was a good maid.

Madam Li said the problems began when the maid ran out of the pills at the end of February.


SHAKEN: Mr Yau's laptop showing a photo of the maid with baby Jovann in happier times. Now, Mr Yau and his wife (background) don't dare to hire another maid. Picture: Kua Chee Siong
'She couldn't sleep for several days. She would toss and turn, get up to go toilet, drink water, pull the blanket very hard and fast, or apply medicated oil.'

Madam Li, the maid and the baby slept in the same room of their five-room flat.

Her husband sleeps in the master bedroom because he works shifts.

WAKES UP BABY AT NIGHT

The maid also kept waking the sleeping baby several times at night to feed him, against the couple's instructions. Once, she got careless and spilled water on the baby and the bed.

Mr Yau said: 'She also started swinging the baby very high and very hard when carrying him. So I got worried and didn't allow her to open the windows.'

On 3 Mar, when Madam Li decided to have the maid's health checked at a clinic, the doctor found her blood pressure had hit 150.

Madam Li said: 'It was very high, and she had always told us that she had low blood pressure.'

The doctor prescribed mild sleeping pills to the maid. But she still couldn't sleep, and started talking to herself the next day.

Worried, the Yaus both took urgent leave to take the maid shopping, thinking it might help her relax.

But they were wrong.

On the MRT, the maid kept talking to herself and started waving her hands about, hitting some commuters.

Then, when they were at the old Capitol cinema, the maid, who was pushing the pram with Jovann in it, suddenly dashed across the road towards St Andrew's Cathedral without looking.

Luckily, there were no cars at that time, but she did bump into some pedestrians.

Mr Yau said: 'She was going so fast that the whole pram was shaking, like the wheels cannot take it already. Everybody was staring at her.'

Madam Li recalled: 'I was so scared! We took over the pram and told her, 'Don't go so fast'. But she didn't respond at all. When you talked to her, she couldn't even answer any questions.'

That evening, the couple took the maid back to the agency, and she was taken to a maid hostel.

The next day, the couple got a call from the agency asking them to send the maid to a hospital immediately.

SHOUTING WHOLE NIGHT

Madam Li said: 'They said she spent the whole night shouting, until all the other maids couldn't sleep.'

When Mr Yau reached the agency, he was shocked to see the maid shouting incoherently, making faces and waving her arms and legs about.

He recorded the maid using his PDA and showed the clip to The New Paper on Sunday.

He said: 'The transformation was so fast. It was very pitiful.'

Mr Yau said that the maid started to struggle inside the ambulance.

'When we reached IMH, she became violent and started to use her arms and legs to hit and kick.

'Then eight people - five men and three women - came quickly. They caught her and restrained her to the bed, and pushed her into a consultationroom.'

The maid stayed in hospital until 10 Mar.

Madam Li said: 'When I saw her like that, I cried. After all, she was with us for three months, and she loved our son, so we had developed feelings for her.'

Madam Li said that when she went to IMH the day the maid was discharged, she heard from a nurse that the hospital had called the maid's sister in the Philippines and discovered she had been in a mental hospital there for three weeks early last year due to marital problems.

Then, when she met the maid, Madam Li said that she appeared alert and even asked if she could continue working.

Madam Li told her she had better return to the Philippines to rest, but the maid asked: 'Madam, if you don't want, can you transfer to me another employer?'

The maid returned to the Philippines last week.

The Yaus have since contacted the maid agency to ask them to reimburse the medical bills.

Mr Yau said he paid about $1,080, including the cost of the IMH stay, ambulance and clinic fees.

He had also paid about $350 in maid agency fees and $2,100 for the maid's loan.

He said the maid agency had offered a replacement maid for them at no charge, but the couple declined.

Mr Yau's mother is now helping to take care of Jovann.
 
Tam,
Thanks for posting this article. It’s very scary.
I totally agree that once the maid starts to act weird just quickly send her back.
With regard to the Hospital Bills, I thought the maid medical insurance will pick this up? Either way, the employer should not be liable as there was a non-disclosure on the bio-data stating “NIL mental health problems”. In the “REAL WORLD” as opposed to the lovely world these maid agents live in where they are never responsible for anything that goes wrong, this would be their “professional liability” and they could be sued for this as well as recovery of full loan as well as fees as it really is the agent’s responsibility to ensure the “product” they are supplying is ok.

Just think of it as a product, say a food item (like Prima Deli). If the cake is contaminated and there is the risk of injury or people have already been injured, then Prima Deli is liable and in fact they paid out all damages and hospital bills for affected third parties. Why then, would the agent be able to get away from not doing their DUE DILIGENCE which is part of their JOB!!
 
Tam,
thanks for sharing the article. This reminded me of my 1st maid. She was also one moment very happy (gila type of happy!) and then in a flash very moody....

tha's why i sent her away....
 
Liana,
in TOTAL agreement with you on your comment in ref to the lack of responsibility or rather the lack of accountability on the agent.

This is so weird isn't it? Listed companies are made to 'pay' for the lack of accountability yet in more serious situations like this, the agent can get away with it?! there is seriously something wrong with the system.

Are they saying investor's money is more important than a life?

If you had lost money, you can work and earn it back. If a life is lost due to someone else's carelessness, how are you going to get that life back or rather who is going to pay that life back to you?
 
My last sick maid talk in her sleep and act very wierd...end up in hospital due to some serious medical problem...lucky medical insurance can claim as she stayed in the hospital for a week.


Initially agent also want to shove responsibility...but we manage to solve and send her back and she was still very sick when she was back home.

For info, my ex maid of two weeks plus was from a reputable agency....MOM, AGENCY...ALL PUSHING RESPONSIBILITY WHEN MAID BECAME REAL SICK.....
 
Liana,
There is still another article on the other page.

<font color="0000ff">THE maid agency insisted that the maid was fine when it sent her to the Yaus, and maintained that the family should be responsible for the medical bills.</font>

The agency is going to get away with it. I don't think there is anything the employer can do.



TIME BOMB AT HOME
MAID PASSES 2 CHECK-UPS SIGNS OF STRESS CAN TAKE MONTHS TO SURFACE
Agency: Doctors' reports say she's fit to work
By Tay Shi'an

March 24, 2008




WHAT happens if your maid suddenly has a mental breakdown?


Happy at first: One of several photos of the smiling maid with baby Jovann.
Dr Ang Yong Guan, a consultant psychiatrist in private practice, said he had heard of two such cases in the past six months.

Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, said: 'Coming to another country to work is stressful psychologically - different language, diet, duties, longer working hours.'

This can trigger a stress reaction or even depression.

Dr Wang said: 'In worst-case scenarios, they can suffer from a reactive psychosis, but this is, fortunately, rare.'

This can happen even if a person does not have a history of mental illness.

Dr Wang said that the signs may take weeks or even months for symptoms to show.

Employers should look out for stress-related symptoms such as insomnia, poor appetite, the maid being overly cheery or feeling like crying all the time, or being withdrawn.

He said: 'Employers should talk to the maid. Even though they are the boss, this is a fellow human being who feels homesick and sad, as your daughter or sister would.'


The maid's medical report, in which she declared that she had no history of mental illness. But the Yaus later learnt that she had previously been warded for three weeks in a psychiatric hospital in the Philippines.
But Dr Wang said that if there are safety concerns, like if the maid starts talking about death and suicide, or if she is left alone with young children or old persons, or if she starts behaving dangerously, the employer should be wary and seek professional help.

<font color="0000ff">As for the medical bills, Mr Seah Seng Choon, executive director of the Consumers Association of Singapore (Case), said it's still the responsibility of the employer unless it can be proven the maid agency were aware of the maid's condition when they recruited her.</font>

<font color="0000ff">THE maid agency insisted that the maid was fine when it sent her to the Yaus, and maintained that the family should be responsible for the medical bills.</font>

The manager of the Budget Employment Service Centre branch at Thomson Imperial Court, who would give his name only as Mr Soo, said the maid was 'very normal' when she arrived in Singapore three months ago.

Mr Soo, 37, said that she passed two medical checkups by doctors - one in the Philippines, one here with a Singapore-registered doctor.

'Both the doctors' reports showed she was normal, that she's fit to work... If the doctors said okay, who am I to say she's not fit to work?' he asked.

'When they sign the contract, under the law, the employers are responsible for the well-being and upkeep of the maids.'

Mr Soo said the maid had been found via a recruiter in the Philippines, and another recruiter in Singapore.

RECRUITERS KNEW NOTHING

After the incident, he said he called the recruiters to find out if the maid had any history of mental illness, but the recruiters said they knew nothing about it.

Mr Soo said: 'I won't be so stupid to bring a mentally unstable girl into Singapore.

'On my table are 100 biodatas. If I knew she had a black mark, I would take her out.

'Why give ourselves problem later on? It doesn't make any business sense.

'If I knew and brought her in, crucify me, but we had no idea at all.'

Mr Soo said that he offered a free maid replacement to the Yaus, fulfilling a condition in the contract, but they declined.

He said that out of goodwill, his agency had already paid for the maid's air ticket home to the Philippines. The employer ususally pays for the ticket.

He added they will also be refunded the balance of the maid's loan, but asked that the couple give the agency time to process the transaction.

But he drew the line at paying for the medical bills and refunding the maid agency fee.

A check with the Consumers Association of Singapore (Case) found that the maid agency is CaseTrusted.

Case said it received only one filed case about this agency in 2006, and none in 2007.

Mr Soo declined to give The New Paper on Sunday the contacts of the recruiters, or the maid's contact number in Philippines.

When we called the Singapore clinic that did the medical exam on the maid, an assistant nurse, who refused to give her name, passed on a message from the doctor, saying that the patient's records are confidential.

'Anything, ask the employer to come and see us. We don't want to comment,' she said, before hanging up.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


SIGNS OF STRESS CAN TAKE MONTHS TO SURFACE

WHAT happens if your maid suddenly has a mental breakdown?

Dr Ang Yong Guan, a consultant psychiatrist in private practice, said he had heard of two such cases in the past six months.

Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, said: "Coming to another country to work is stressful psychologically : different language, diet, duties, longer working hours."

This can trigger a stress reaction or even depression.

Dr Wang said: "In worst-case scenarios, they can suffer from a reactive psychosis, but this is, fortunately, rare."

This can happen even if a person does not have a history of mental illness.

Dr Wang said that the signs may take weeks or even months for symptoms to show.

Employers should look out for stress-related symptoms such as insomnia, poor appetite, the maid being overly cheery or feeling like crying all the time, or being withdrawn.

He said: "Employers should talk to the maid. Even though they are the boss, this is a fellow human being who feels homesick and sad, as your daughter or sister would."

But Dr Wang said that if there are safety concerns, like if the maid starts talking about death and suicide, or if she is left alone with young children or old persons, or if she starts behaving dangerously, the employer should be wary and seek professional help.

As for the medical bills, Mr Seah Seng Choon, executive director of the Consumers Association of Singapore (Case), said it's still the responsibility of the employer unless it can be proven the maid agency were aware of the maid's condition when they recruited her.
 
ladies,

I got a problem here. I spot checked my maid's stuff and saw her diary. I cant read bahasa . I am not very bothered by what she wrote but soemthing caught my eyes. She wrote down all my family memebers full names. She even got my bro's name! He doesn talk to her at all and yet she could get all these info. I am feeling very uncomfortable. I am definitely not allowing my particulars to be sent back in her letter. How shoudl I approach the situation? Really need your advices. She has been good, of course.
 
Liana
Most agencies' contracts have the following clause under General Conditions:

Agency A

13.2 The information in the bio-data is to be taken at face value and the Agent shall not be liable or responsible for any incorrect or false information which is supplied by the domestic maid.

Agency B
8.2 Bio-Data
Whilst the Agency takes every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information/particulars found in the bio-data of the Worker, the Agency does not warrant their accuracy of such the information/particulars as it is beyond the Agency's ability to check and verify them. The Agency hereby expressly disclaims responsibility for any false and inaccurate information furnised by the Worker.

So mummies, please read through the contracts of the agencies thoroughly before you sign and pay for any domestic helper. Very often, the agency show you bio-data, then ask you to sign the contract without going through the clauses. Sure the agency will side the maids cause they really earn tonnes of money from them. The winner in this biz is actually the agency (most of them laugh all the way to the bank), the maid if kena an abusive employer...also suffer, the biggest loser is the employer cos one has to change a number of maids before finding the ideal one (so a lot of time and $ wastage).
 
Tam
Tks for the article. Really very scary. So far, only my longest serving maid brought along medicine for herself and she stored them in my fridge. I asked her what is that for, and she said something for anaemic or insomia which I can't remember. She must eat it every night. She is also the one with sleeping disorder....lucky she is not mad in my employment, in fact I think she is the lucky one whose job is to watch my girl when she was a baby. She didn't even have to wash her own clothes cos I ask the 2nd maid to wash hers.

It is really very scary to have an unknown person living with you. Ytd, my mum still asked me to consider getting a maid if I can't cope on my own here, so tempting but I still think NO NO.
 
precious_one,
Maid agencies are very good at protecting themselves. Especially those big ones like Nation, their agency contract has so many pages, most employer will not read every line of it. If anything happens, employer is always at the losing end.

I think if a maid is taking medication, the employer need to know exactly what she is taking. Just read the name on the label and google, nowadays the information is all in the internet. If it is serious problem, the maid will not tell you the truth.

ribenagr8s,
If you think that maid is good, then just tell her nicely that you found all those information with her, and you do not want her to keep it or send it to other people. Take it from her and destroy it. Tell her not to do it again. Some maids may think there is nothing wrong with it.
 
oh dear...very scary indeed.
Looks like the family has to foot the bill for the hospital stay. Hope they have got insurance.

I would really like to know what responsibilities these maid agencies are actually accountable for.

They seem to be able to prove "trash" and get away with it.
 
Insurance may not even cover the hospital bill as the maid was not honest and didn't declare her mental history.
It is always the employer who is going to lose out in maid issues.
 
hi all,

today went down to agent, they agree to give me a replacement for free , i also scared but no choice still got loan there. They say the maid will come in 3 week time, this time i dun really bother to see the biodata at all, as no use. I saw my maid cousin write a letter that if my maid when transfer to another employer give problem again she will paid for her air ticket back to phil. My agent say they will tell the new employer about the maid's situtaion (sleeping disorder).

please hope this new maid will be better, no high hope as the agent got so many transfer maid

precious,

i had got the contact thank you.

emily,

Huh, she still got red eyes, the day she come to my house already red, so i ask her what happen she say dunno when she in sirport already like that. I also quite angry with the agent about this how can she pass me a maid with sore eyes,as is cotagious. I wanted to bring her see doctor but cannot as dun have her passport and work permit.

I understand your phobia, we know phil are cunny but no choice as they are more educated so could take care children well.

tamarind,

yeah i still got loan with the agent as my maid only here less than a week.
 
Hi hi mommies,

have been following on this thread lately as I am contemplating to get one to help my mom and myself up at housework so that both of us can concentrate on taking care the toddler over the weekend and weekdays.

However, I noticed that my block lately had some maids that really turned me off and made me a little scared and thus needed some advice.

I saw the same maid with little girl always downstairs my block smoking with a gang of guys and the little girl would keep chatting beside her somemore and asking her some questions etc. Saw at least thrice.

Then in the mornings/afternoons, some maids would sit downstairs the playground waiting the toddlers/children play and yet, they are busy chit chatting rather than also observing their employer's children. Sometimes, one or two even dressed up and chatted with the cleaners at my area too.

1. I am not one who would "cage" my maid... but with these issues i saw and witnessed, i guess, you mommies would advice me is to place the trust to the maid i may hire and set my expectations clear to her, right?

2. How do you make clear to her the consequences if she breaks the law?

3. How do you know if your maid smokes? I hate ppl who smoke!

4. Sorry, but, do you know where I can learn Indonesian Malay or Bumarese language? "I would like to equip myself with the languages so that I can communicate with her.

Thanks.
 
Pin

Can you get your loan refunded if you cease to use the same agency...maybe you go through the contract. For me , I would rather lose my agency fees, get back the loan and go somewhere else.
 
Koalarie
To avoid troubles, we should try to 'cage' our maids if we can afford to (ie. if somebody is around to be with the maid 24/7) if we really want to eliminate all the potential patterns from maids. My MIL has displayed the extreme, she don even allow maid to go out alone to bring/fetch my girl to/from school. She rather either go with maid or go herself and keep the maid at home for the 10mins trip. I just kept quiet abt it, since MIL don mind the trouble just to keep maid 'caged'. However, we did bring maid out whenever we go out shopping or dinner, etc, so that she can be 'out' of house and she's happy to be out of house, though with us.
 
Hi Pin..
Good to hear that they can give u a free replacement...

I have decided to engage Labour Express. Visited them yesterday at their Bukit Timah branch. The staffs r friendly, and agent fee is cheap!

Anyone has any experience with Labour Express?
 
Koalarie,
if you are thinking abt a burmese maid, you can choose a grad one as the level of english is acceptable. So far my maid can understand me and i understand her. LIke today, i teach her making french toast, think its quite alien to her. But i spell out french toast and she understand. Comparing it to my fren's burmese maid who is high sch and from village, i wld say mine is much better in her eng language.
 
Emily,
Labour express charge agent fee meh?
I got 6 maids from them, and i change 4 maids within 6 mths time, and 1 maid within 1 weeks, now I engaged another maid agent.
For your info, their after sale service is very bad, but if u do not mind this, u can engage them, since they offer free replacement.
 
Emily - just to agree with what Jessy said, I also have heard before for some agents, once you are getting replacement maids from them, they will only give you lower grades / category maids to choose from - cos its FREE replacement...

Alot of agents, first service - sure good, friendly etc...How to tell a good or responsive agent, is where you have problems and see how they deal it... Best is of cos you dont have problems with the maids and nvr need to deal with the agent anymore! So at the end of the day, its yr luck to get a gd maid or not. No doubt maid agencies will not be able to tell the maid is good or not, but if they deliver what they have to deliver, and dont cheat our money, that is good enough!
 
emily, eileen,
i think getting agents are also like the luck of the draw as with good maids. My previous agent gives free replacement as well (1 only). Their fee is $388 . But their service had been quite good. quite professional. When i encountered problems with the maids, they did not hesitate to offer to help resolve the issues. of course they can't really resolve it to my expectation. At least they try...that i think is not too bad already.

like what eileen says, if they deliver what they have to deliver and are honest not to cheat our money, that should be good enough.
 
Hi nellu,
Can you give me the name of your agent?
happy.gif
 
Hi mummies, suddenly too many things happen at a time,am so busy with both house n career..

I tot, I can go with out maid when my bb old enough to go CC(6mths)..I didnt know the real reason my SIL dont want to leave with my parents in law,she told us moving to a smaller hse,no room for PIL.

Till they move in, I realised many reasons which my SIL hide from us..now I need to find another maid to jaga my PIL.. cos I have been showering/cleaning my MIL..she urine/wet her pant, motion all over my hse, and she cant clean herself properly..SIL didnt tell us, and she knows I already have maid's matter with my baby,yet just dont care..

I'm lost with this situation..I have to think of 3childrens,my current maid,now add 2elderly..and need to work.. I cant just send them to nursing/old folks home..to costly n I dont feel right.

Any maid to transfer looking after elderly without fear of cleaning urine/motion or need to shower her(MIL).. middle nite/daily need to bring her go toilet..

Can two maid work together?
 
Jo,
I used to have 2 maids, one to look after my father, one to take care of my kids. No problem at all.

You can also try to call St Luke hospital, see if they can accept your MIL for rehabilitation. Can deduct medisave.

http://www.slh.org.sg/
 
Jo
I used to have one indo and one filo. Indo do housekeeping and filo look after one baby. The filo is terrified of the indo. Indo left cos she is young and stubborn. Then I took in another filo maid thinking that same nationality would click better and they have each other to talk to....worst, both always fight at home.
sad.gif


To look after old folks, I think indo maid could be a better choice. My block has a couple of wheel-chair bound old folks and they were all look after by indo.

May be two indos will be a better combination. Hopefully they help each other.
 
Hi mommies,
Another sad case.

http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=35292


<font size="+2">Maid Jump off window! help!!!! </font>


This is to share with all out there and learn from my story at the same time request inputs how to settle my headache.

I used to have this maid and sent her back after 5 mths of service in exchange for new maid.
Reason because her attitude changed and behaviour became erratic.
My mom felt uncomfortable.

So we sent her back and to the agency and they brought her back to his residence.
The following morning, the maid jump off the window.. mid floor high!

Agency call Police &amp; ambulance came and she went thru 4 opts to save her life. Bill came to $70k

Agency registered the patient.

Maid since have been repatriated. i foot the repatriate bills of $3k.
The hospital tried billing the agency but agency deny all bills and ordered hospital to bill to me.

Insurance does not cover since it is self caused accident.
Maid says she tried to escaped from the agency residence.

Spoke to MOM but they says based on employment act, employer are payable.

But thats not fair!
It happened at the agency's residence and not mine!
God knows what took place at the agency's residence that made her wanted to jump off the window!
How can i be liable for that!
If it happen at my house, then i guess i'm done for.
But the fact that its over at the agency's residence after i handed over the custody to them.

i have given up on maids.
i wanted to sent back my present maid but i am holding back.
What if i sent back to the agency and she jump off again.
I'm screwed!
The agency just pushes the blame on me and my family.

i have kids and old people ant my house and now without maid, i dunno how to go out working with peace of mind.

pls help.
 
Hi mommies,
After reading the above story, better think twice before sending your maid back to the agency. If anything happens, you still have to pay all the medical bills.

Also, note if your maid jumps off the window by herself, or hurt herself in anyway, insurance does not cover that.

So my advise is to immediately send a maid back to her own country once you discover something seriously wrong with her.
 
Tam, thks for sharing... hire maid for help but end up more trouble..

I better think twice.. if 2 girls go CC(abt S1000 per mth), 2elderly go EC (abt $2500 per mth)think I will be very RICH liao(exclude others expences).. yet have to do hse work,busy liao siow after work..hmm..Only God can help.
 
Tam
Tks for sharing again. It is very sad indeed, getting a maid becoz one needs help, end up, spend so much and did not receive help. S$70k is a huge sum of money....my baby's 6 month's NICU stay was about this amt after govt subsidy. I don't even hv medisave savings now....

Jo
I assume your SIL is your hb's sister. See if she can help chip in on the old folks EC...cos parents belong to both of them. In this time of stressful moment, please take care of yourself too. What's yr hb say?
 
Ya, I agreed, medical fees is very expensive..

My hb's sis, said its our problems..boy(hb) should look after parent,she is married. When PIL, stay with her,we actually paid all expences..give money to PIL mthly n SIL monthly for food n lodging.. now PIL old can't work for her(do hse work at SIL hse), and SIL children old enough.. so PIL is giving her problems n just didn't tell me n my hubby.. PIL also said SIL took the money(gov gav elderly).I dont know how true,cos PIL said they dont know how to go bank n SIL always withdraw for them..PIL argued abt money matter..like they paid themselves when visit doc,but SIL claim from my hubby..I just tell them let it pass,dont argue.. already headaches.. SIL didnt even call us once since PIL move in.. haiz.. so selfish.

I will be rich soon, every problem there is an opportunity.. I wonder what is the rewards his time.
 
Liana, how much u paid ur nanny? from what time,end what time? Only daily(how abt wkend),come to ur place/hse..local ppl? Any recommend?

Now, I think off..

1) Get a full time maid for elderly. (only cleaning,n attend MIL),current maid..bb care n cooking.
2) Get a part time maid to help my current maid with weekly hse chores.
3) Get nanny daily,so maid can do hse chores n elderly.

Any suggestion? bb can go CC in 6mths.. so actually only this 6mth.. if 2maids, afraid they nothing to do,after bb go CC..even now,if hav 2nd maid..she also nothing much to do..only washing n assist my MIL to toilet.Not urine/motion all the time.. hmm.. what is the best solution.
 
Hi Jo,
How was your trip?
I pay $500 per month for nanny and she comes to my house. She also cooks for my girl and from time to time takes her on outings with her own kids to places like Sentosa, T3 and Vivo etc. BUT...I only take her half day from 12-1pm to 7pm. Sometimes my hubby will drop my girl at the nanny's place to fit in with her schedule.

She is a very capable mother as she has 4 kids of her own (2 big and twins in K2). She treats my girl like part of her family. We are very happy with the arrangement. No weekends.

I think for you, try put Gloria in infant care, one of those good ones first. Less headache. Timing is 7am to 7pm. Then when she is old enough for CC can transfer her. Get your current maid to do only housework and Elderly. Darren and Vera are old enough so don't need so much care plus your work is flexible, can juggle a bit.

If you want to consider getting a maid for elderly - don't get Indo maid. They will not clean your MIL properly. Filo is better, especially one that has been through elderly care training or one that is a nurse. I had 2 ex Filo maids that are nurses. Both have taken care of elderly before and in many ways it is better for them to take care of elderly than babies.

If you are getting 2 maids I suggest 2 diff nationalities because then less likely to hatch some master plan and cheat you or run to embassy to complain etc. Unlikely they will be so close.

I feel bad for you since you got 3 kids and got to run a biz plus got black face maid. 2 more people is really tough but you are a strong and calm woman. You will be ok. Take care. Feel free to email me anytime.
 
Jo,
The reason why I suggest a good infant care for your girl is because you might as well spend your hard earned $$$ on your own kids so at least they have the benefit of learning. But be prepared that she will get sick more often so you will have to keep her home those days.
 
Liana
Yeah, I agree with you, "<font color="0000ff"> suggest a good infant care for your girl is because you might as well spend your hard earned $$$ on your own kids so at least they have the benefit of learning</font>.....this is exactly my thought when I decided to do away with maid after spending thousands of $$ on maids. Now, my girl is enjoying herself in school (half day cc) and I'm happy to be free of someone's else problems.
happy.gif
 
Hi,

Am so pissed off with my maid yest. She hand washed my wird bra but dunno how she wash it the centre part is dented and i told her off. SHe still claimed to me that she follow my method. Then somemore say tml she will wash again to fix it!!!

For the past few days i asked her to wake up at 6am and i set the alarm for her and the alarm ring already she press off then continue to slp till i walk over to her her asked her if the alarm had ringed? She told me ring liao then i say why you still sleeping then she wake up! Goodness employer have to wake up to ask her to wake up?
How can i tell her to wake up straight away when the alarm ring? Worse of all i dare not offend her cos my bb is in her hands during the nite. But if i am too good to her she is like on top of my head liao!!!!
 
Liana, San, thanks...

As what Liana said, I would like my current maid at home with hse chores n elderly,while bb in IC/CC... I know this will make my current maid not happy.As she want to work with children not elderly..so in another way,I can see..she won't stay long..

Maybe Myammar, also good for elderly..

This morning, I found my boy's drawing book in laundry area..and pick up,flip tru..saw my maid wrote notes in bahasa..

(Last month with me..'07)
Looking for a man(with name written), asking where is he...normally,cycling on the road but didnt see him so long n miss him..maybe he dont love her/not fate to be together...

No date but recently,cos wrote work in ex employer's place..
Trying to forget him,yet still miss him..

So...current maid,want hp,want off or even can go out when ferry my kids...all because of man..

When I asked maid to introduce/have any ppl in indo that she knows want to work for elderly, she said, have but want freedom, later if work here not happy, her parents will get bad(things,remark/the new maid's family will revenge on her parent)..

I was thinking, why? so bad to work here? now,refering to my hse...I want to employ,means I'm the employer..how bad can me/my hse be?so suffering here? hmm...

I'm asking my agent for any good recommend for elderly n said/asked on additional maid, incase replace current one...am prepared for anythings..

I will be strong,I need to control the situation not let it change me,if do change,also to be better.God bless all.
 
Hi Jo..
You r a strong lady! I have been so frustrated recently, trying to withdraw my son from infant care and find him a maid. I was unhappy that my MIL cannot help me to take care of my boy due to her old age and bad health. But now, if I compare my situation with yours, I'm still not the worst as I don't have to take care of my MIL. If I were you, I would have gone crazy with the 3 kids + 2 elderly to take care. You r amazing!

I have some experience to share with you about infant care. My son is with infant care since he is 3 months old. He is now 6 months+, he has been staying with the infant care for 3 months+.

There are many disadvantages with IC:
#1: If the teacher-child ratio is 1:5, you better dun choose this IC. One teacher cannot possibly manage 5 infants. Assume that one infant takes 1/2 hour to feed, the teacher will need 2.5 hours to feed all of them. She is left only with ~1 hour to change diapers/bathe the babies before she has to feed the first baby again. Basically, there is no time for activities with the babies. They are only given the basic needs, like feed, shower, changing diapers, nap etc. Dun believe that this IC can arrange learning activities for the babies. My boy's infant care has a nicely written routine, but NEVER follow at all!

#2: Babies can easily get sick in IC. Reason: they have lower immune system &amp; easily get infected by others. You have to take leave to take care of your baby as sick babies r not allowed to go to IC. I have burnt out many days of annual leave since I enrolled my boy at IC. This week, there is HFMD outbreak again! Me and HB have to take 1/2 to take care of my boy, dun dare to send him there to week. Almost every month, there is one case of HFMD outbreak. Sigh
sad.gif


Due to the above, I have decided to withdraw him from IC and hire a maid to take care of him instead. At least he has a maid to attend to him immediately when he needs something.
 
Hi Liana..
Wow, I looked at the Pat School House curriculum, I agree that its sounds good. But the price is steep! Since the ratio is 1:3, the babies will get the attention they need.

But the location is too far from my place.
 


So sad to hear Tamarind's story.
sad.gif


I just got a new maid last week. She's been here a week plus and so far quite good. She's good with the baby, seems to really love playing with him, and her cooking and housework is quite good. I do give her quite a bit of free time though but there really isn't that much for her to do, so I don't mind. She starts early at about 7 plus and then at 8pm after doing the dishes, she'll go to her room to rest. I'm also getting her a small TV for the room so she can watch TV there and give my hubby and I a bit of privacy in the evenings. I'm trying to treat her as well as I can and hopefully she'll continue to be good to the baby and my family. I also give her all Sundays off and tell her to be back by 9pm. She requested for her pay to be paid to her in cash coz she has no bank account in Singapore, so I'll do so, but get her to sign a letter of reciept everytime I pay her. Does it all make sense so far? Anything else I should be doing? This is my first time hiring a maid so I'm not sure what to look out for.
 
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