Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Lani, at first I give the permission to let my maid on the TV for my ds Disney channel, so she slowly, bit by bit on her channel. At first I thought she on it for me until she get so use to it and on for herself lor... sometimes I'm easy but don't take for granted... btw, she's leaving soon
 


anyone read a report on a couple nearly got fined cos they employed a maid n left their 2 yr old bb with brain tumour with their mum while they go out to work for the bb's hospital/ medical exp.

How to have bb's like that if hubby & wife need to work but we r not allowed to even bring our maid to in-law's place. Surely when the maid is not at our home, she will still be doing routine hsework at our mum's place for eg. not that we are emplying them then ask them to work extra in eg) our own retail shop etc etc.
Sigh i have no one to help look after my bb after my bb is born, contemplating to get a maid then maybe leave it in the care of my aunt who leaves nearby. I dun want to run the risk of being fined!! But who would leave a 3 mth old bb alone at home with a maid esp when she is new to the family??? my aunt has hsehold chores to do at hm so she cant come to my place for sure.
i m in such a dilemma now...infant care i cant afford & dun wish to expose my bb at such an early age
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belle,
The reason why MOM disallows, is because the maid will have to mop and clean 2 houses. This is over working the maid.

If you don't want to risk being fine, then register the maid under your aunt's name. Bring your baby back home after work, without the maid, and look after the baby yourself.

But then a lot of people are taking the risk anyway.

annlee,
She knows that no one will hire her if she asks for that kind of salary I paid her. So ungrateful ! She not only got one boyfriend, she got many boyfriends ! Like any man also can !
 
I think it's better not to let ur maid go into the masterbedroom. My prev maid is so bold. She can only access my room when she had to clean it in the morning, keep clothes or change bedroom. She can still steal my mp3 player from my bag placed in my room, with me in the house(I was in the sitting room). I was so pissed off. My hubby said maids like to pack and clean ur drawers and wardrobe cos they are able to assess wat things they can steal. So pissed off. Once I found my mp3 player in her luggage I sent her back to the agency. do u think the agency will repriatrate her back to indo or transfer her to another employer?
 
yenny_tay,
The agency will definitely try to transfer her to another employer. Please post her name and age here so that other employers can take note.
 
my maid finished her work quite fast and soemtimes she has nothing to do.I am due in 3 weeks and what can i ask her to clean or do now?
 
Hi all,
Take note that you can now check the employment history of your maid online.

I went to check my ex-maid's history. Got a shock !

556149.jpg


She has already found an employer. I am her employer number 8. Before me she changed 7 employers within 2 years ! She lied to me that she worked for one employer for 2 years before working for me. Faint... Why does MOM allow such maids to still continue working in Singapore ?
 
hi Tamarind
you are really resourceful! Can you pls tell me how to check the maid's employment history? I tried to search in MOM 's website but still can't find. Hm...

btw, did you ladies read about the maid series in ST these few days? the reporter i think doesn't have a maid, coz' her report pretty one-sided leh, like all employers bad, maids sorrowful...
 
courage,
$45 for 1 set of that kind of 3-pc baju kurung is quite reasonable - definitely on the cheap side, so definitely didn't kena ketok lah.

the average cost of a "good quality" baju kurung (ie. not mass-produced), whether it is off-the-rack or custom-made is more than $100, usually ard $150-$250.

mass-produced ones can cost as low as $20 to maybe as high as $60-$70. so i would say $45 is mid-range. the prices normally become much cheaper nearer to Hari Raya (ie maybe 1-5 days before), but if you wait this late to buy, you may end up with the not-so-nice designs or those unpopular sizes (eg XXL).

if she really wants to buy a few sets for her family members then get her to start saving up her salary lor, maybe each mth put aside $50-$90 or something like that.

this yr i also bought for my maid 1 set of baju kurung for her to wear on Hari Raya, but a very simple one lah. if too fashionable-looking wait ppl get confused who is the Madam and who is the maid! hahaha!! cost me only $20. i also bought 2 sets of clothes for her 5-yr old son.
 
tamarind,
wow!! now you finally found out what a liar she was! btw, which website you check the info from ah? i also kaypoh wanna check my maid's employment history!
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hi tamarind, the maid dun necc need to mop my aunt's hse. I need the maid for bb care n hsehold for my own hse. Bringing to my aunt's place is just for my aunt to keep an eye on the maid. I cant trust a maid with my new born. Doesnt make sense for me to employ a maid if i were to leave her in my aunt's hse.
 
lani, tam, annlee..

i oredi told my maid i will deduct $$ from her pay to change a new bed. somemore, when i told her that, she gave me that "going" to cry look. i simply cant tahan her sitting on my bed. i told hb abt it. he say i m very mean to do so. i told him.. how can i allow other woman to sit on my bed? if i dun voice out.. she may happily just carry on sleeping on my bed one day. its a monetary punishment to her.

i hv confiscated her hp as well n told her no more usage of hp. since my hse rules oredi states "no hp allowed", yet she smuggle into spore. then her pattern start on wed.. say she headache la.. this n that.

i used to allow my maid to watch tv as well.. but end up, she will on the tv as earli as 9am when at my place.. n on to damn loud somemore. woke me n my bb from our sleep.. then lowering down the volume b4 i come out from my room. so another hse rule.. no more tv for her. she still take opportunity to stand in front of the tv while carrying my son.. which i m observing how many times she is gg to do that.

at my mum's place.. my bb got a thick mattress to sleep.. my maid will read newspaper on it. i oredi told her many times do not put the papers on it.. she still do it.

later.. hb n i are gg out for haircut.. probably going to leave her n bb at home. believe she gg to do funny things again.

Tam.. interesting! let me know which website u went to to check on the employment record..
 
belle,
MOM will not know unless someone report to them. It is usually the maid who reports the employer, who else will be so kaypoh ? If your maid only looks after the baby at your aunt's house, and her overall workload is reasonable, then it is less likely that she will report you. But it is still a risk you should be aware of.

lis,
Yah they should do a story about me instead.

Jo,
Your maid still got time to read newspaper and watch TV ? I told my maid if got nothing to do, she must play with the kids. She must watch the kids carefully, if they fall down, it's her fault. She is free only after the kids sleep at night.

I got another maid who looks after my father. She is quite free because my father sleeps all day. I also told her to play and watch my kids when she is free. If she really has nothing to do, she must sit beside my father incase he needs her.
 
lis, yeah...i agreed with you.

Tamarind, thanks for the website,very useful.

About the maid must watch the kids carefully and if they fall, what are you going to do to the maid? My maid was playing and taking of my son(11/2 yrs old) when I'm busy and my son always fall, knock on his head and maid was always with him. I'm so angry with her and always tell her to watch on him and do not let him fall but it doesn't work. She's full of good excuses on why my son fall. Got once, I went to pick up my elder boy from school which takes about 15mins. when back home, my son is crying badly,bruises on the forehead,bleed alittle. I ask her what happened and she apologise...pleading that is her fault that she shldn't go to the toilet and let my son alone outside waiting for her and let my son fall.
So what shld I do if my new maid to my new maid if things happen again?
 
annlee,
I am going to take note of the number of times my kids fall down or hurt themselves. Every time I will give my maid a stern warning, then remind her of her past mistakes. I will give her up to 5 chances, after which I will send her home.

Actually the problem is with the maid. My father's maid is very careful and attentive with my boy, never let him fall down. If a maid does not try to be attentive to a child, and does not change after repeated warnings, then no point keeping her.
 
tamarind,
thanks for the website! very useful.

annlee,
my maid is usally very careful when taking care of my dd. but there was one time my dd was on the swing at home, and my maid was standing next to her (i was in the kitchen washing my hands, but i can see them from where i am). instead of watching my dd, my maid's eyes was on the tv. then my dd fell off the swing, head first, hitting her head on the floor! luckily my floor is wooden floor and not cement! my dd cried and cried. i rushed over to carry her, then can tell my maid quite shocked and scared liao. i scolded the maid, told her must watch my dd carefully and not be so careless. then to show my maid that this is a serious mistake (when she first came i did tell her that when it comes to my dd i won't tolerate any mistakes), i immed called my hubby at work and told him what happened. then when he came home he questioned the maid (hubby usually doesn't get involved in maid issues, he will leave it to me to deal with her), and gave her a mini-lecture. after that incident my maid is very careful liao when watching my dd, cause she knows we mean business when it comes to my dd's welfare and safety.
 
Tam,
The website is very useful..New employers can check on the employment history of the maid easily now.

Your ex-maid is horrible + terrible and she can become cucumber liao! She can be such a good actress and liar hor. Luckily u found it now esp. her boyfriendsss case, if not she might not up to what lies again.

Jo, deduct from her salary, quite harsh leh? Maybe give her as last warning and if do again next time, then deduct lah. If not, later she no mood to work liao. Just my two cents comments.
 
Tamarind and lani

Thanks for the advised!

lani, have tried your method before...but still no use... for my new maid will give her a few chances, if repeat more than 5 times, will ask her to leave.

Jo, about deducting the salary, though we cannot deduct? I've ask my previou agency before and they say cannot deduct their salary and ask me to change maid.
 
Tamarind
The MOM feature is very good. Now I can see whether my agent transfer my prev maid to another employer or sent her back to indonesia.
 
thanks Tamarind! Very helpful@!

so, my maid is honest about having only 1 employer, good. coz' her bio-data and what the agent told me differs leh, so i want to check.
 
tam..

thanks. will try out on monday to check on the employment history.

maid oways pattern liao liao.. just now told me say she go out to crowded places.. will get headache.. then that day go hospital with my dad she vomit la etc.. so i told her.. like that wats of the point of me giving special off days to her (she actualli no off days one).. n if i were to give her.. to go out with her cousin. then later she come back will tell me sick la.. vomit la.. mc la etc.. like that how to work?

just now clean my storeroom.. she didnt wait for the wooden rack to dry.. immediately put back my stuff.. then say cos i rush her to finish.. i reply her.. use ur brain la.. u can remove all things from top rack.. wipe then remove from centre rack.. wipe.. then bottom rack.. remove n wipe.. onli then put back stuff onto top rack.. downwards.. my hb still can say nevermind.. i told him off as well.. later termites visit us.. dun tell me maid created all this problem n start blaming me! she even admit that she do that on purposely.. wat a BITCH!
 
annlee..

by rite we cannot.. but dun scare them they wont listen. she say i didnt tell her cant sit on my bed.. i give her instructions rite in her face just now.. she dun even rem. so i ask her.. so tell u for wat? i say so many times.. u just bo chap.

clean my room on the aircon somemore.. duno wat the F she doing.. waste my electricity!

i getting so irritated by her.. till my parents say mite as well send back to agent n forget abt getting a maid. mum rather take on more burden to take care of my 2boys when i at work.

i feel bad leaving the 2 boys to her without any helper.. very stressful on her.. got to take care my 2 boys n oso my father who is recuperating from cancer.. guess i will still hv to get another maid in to help her
 
tam..

i very pissed that she read papers n watch tv.. so i told my parents.. no more papers / tv n afternoon naps!
 
jo,
if you seem to have alot of problems with all these maids, perhaps what you suggested could be a viable option for you, ie. do without a maid and maybe send your older son (Walt right?) to full-day childcare instead? that way your mum only has your younger son to take care of from 8am-7pm. i think this will definitely ease the burden a bit. the cost of childcare for 1 child is approx the same as hiring a maid anyway, and with the govt rebates for working moms, it may end up cheaper even for you, and not to mention less headache! i do have some friends who did away with their maids as soon as their child was big enough to attend full-day CC. just a suggestion lah.
happy.gif
 
Lani,
This was what i suggested to Jo when we were on msn last time. But i think she feels childcare, kids prone to sickness and besides her parents not willing to. Actually, this is what i intend to do when my gal is older next year and I will terminate the maid's contract early and probably get a part time maid on weekends.

Jo, i think yr maid is acting up and giving you pattern now... maybe u just ignore her and let her do her things for a while or maybe get yr sis to talk to her again? If you provoked her too much, she might do something to hurt the bb or Walt. I think she is those type the more u 'tekan or say' her, the more she purposely do it which happened to my previous 2nd maid. Take a deep breath and try to be calm. Which i know is difficult at times.
 
Lani, KC..

Lani.. as wat KC mention to u.. i hv concerns on the sickness n my parents not willing to let him go. my bro send his son to childcare in the past.. end up sick oways. calculated medical cost.. wow.. horrible! end up my sil got to take leave oways to take care of son. i hv fear on that. my poor nephew looking so sick whenever he goes to my mum's place. to an extend, my bro dare not let my nephew go my mum's hse since my 2 boys are there. he oso scared my boys fall sick.

KC.. i m not afraid she try to hurt my 2 boys.. as i oredi told her. "she can try but bear the consequences.. hurting my boys doesnt do her any good." when i talk to her yest.. oredi warn her dun give me attitude n she better wise up in wat she is doing.. i hv been keeping quiet on alot of things she did behind my back. yet she took for granted. she is a very stubborn maid.. but i can b more stubborn than her. she can even agree that everyone in my family treated her well. yet, she kept doing things on purpose n not taking instructions.

my parents want me to let her go. since they start to cant tehan her oso. full of wastage. let her get drink when we go out makan.. she order her drinks.. drink abit n throw away.

I hv that intention to send her back as well. may go to agency later if i can spare some time today, see some fresh maid biodata.. rather retrain than take ex sin. my agent told me he will get indo side to talk to my maid on monday.

if get another maid, will b the 6th one for me.. ask me go drink kopi with MOM.. i m fine. i realli want to tell this MOM people wat most employers here in spore encounter with this maids.. giving fake infor on their employment history.. DOB.. demanding this n that..
 
jo,
wah ur maid so daring, clean the room can on aircon!
angry.gif
n being wasteful with food n drinks, no wonder u r so angry with her for all the things that she has done. behaves more like a "xiao jie" than a maid. even when i do cleaning up of my room or packing things in the hse, i do not on fan, let alone to say aircon. she defintely didnt ask u. if she asked u, i m sure u would not allow. let her on fan very gd liao. since ur family cun stand her as well, mayb u should show her the door.

i think dat she is getting abit too much! i m sure if it happens to anyone of us here, we would b equally frustrated.

My hb just caught my maid using a rusty can opener. my mil has already bought her a new one and she is still using the old n rusty one. my hb flew to a rage, now understanding y i can be so angry with her at times. i told her the next time she does that i m bringing her to the police for trying to murder the 5 of us in the family excluding herself! what i m trying to do is 2 threathen her. this is not the 1st time she has done this. i hv previously told her abt this as well cos my mil saw her opening the can with a rusty can opener. told her liao she still do it. so i can only threathen to send her to police. hope this helps. wat else can we do?

Who says that only maids suffer from employers? Looks like many of us here r victims of them as well.
 
Jo, how can you let your maid on the aircon while cleaning the house... don't spoil market leh... she's getting worst. My maid sounds a bit like yours, she on the fan while ironing... mop the floor and straight away put my bb mattress on the floor.. told her not to do it again and luckily she followed. Agreed with kc, better don't provoke your maid, your kids is in her hand. If she never follow your instruction and keep repeating the same mistake, I don't think she will follow even though she understand you.

If you happen that you need to have coffee with MOM, you might want the person who you talk to come to this forum and read what's going on with the employers with maids...many victims here hee.....
 
hey mummies..

she actualli on the aircon without my knowledge! i was out with my hb n my eldest son.. leaving her n bb at home. thats why i very pissed off with her.

today i come to my mum's place.. n again she kana scolding from me. she again try to wayang here n there.. n i told her.. the more u wayang.. the more work u gg to get.

i shall see wat the agent want to say to my maid on monday. if she improve.. fine. if she dun.. i will take this time to source ard for my 6th maid.

annlee.. sure i will ask the idiot to come into this forum to see for himself/herself wat the hell all of us facing..

my mum still kinda want to side her. n i told mum.. leave the matter to me. looking at my maid, i say.. dun ever think that my family members will b able to help u.. i m ur employer n i hv the final say! her eyes start to turn red. I even confiscate her hp leaving her with no access to any outside contacts. see who feel more torturing..
 
jo,
her "horns" r out liao. so daring! your parents will side with her cos they probably haven't seen her true colours or live performance yet! what do u intend to do next?
 
How does threatening the maid in all directions will help your cause? She is not a 7 year old. Actually, even a 7 year old will rebel. Deducting pay, condescening tones, power play (see who gets tortured????) etc will not instill loyalty in any employees whether in an MNC or a domestic household. If you seem to be having probs with all 6 maids, does this not reflect the management style you have which may be the one creating all these problems in the first place?

Sometimes, attitudes result from being provoked.

There are horror maids and horror employers alike.
 
dramaqueen..

cos she like to act infront of my parents. very hardworking etc. but at my place.. she will ask for this n that.. i was out one nite to do my stuff.. she sms me telling me.. "mum, i want to eat mix veg rice.. i want long beans, chicken wing, ikan bilis, chili etc etc.. then dun want, hotdog, fish, etc etc.

when i saw that msg.. i was pissed off! cos she was the one who say she cook noodles to eat at home since i busy.. ask her to go buy rice b4 i go out.. she oso dun want.. then sms me asking for this n that..

give her instructions n know my hse rules.. somemore.. she sign after reading n has a copy.. she still repeat the same mistakes.. purposely dun want to follow. i hv been keeping quiet on many things thats happening at home.

i left her n bb at home.. she simply bo chap abt my bb.. pampers didnt change. didnt give milk n even shout at my bb! when i return.. i still seeing my bb wearing the same pampers tt i hv make a marking on it. water level in the flask n container didnt drop at all. the spoon in the tin of milk powder still in same position. can u imagine.. i was out for at least 6hours.. b4 i left, i fed n change my bb.. n she didnt even do anything for my bb..

the mmt i return, my bb cry.. the way he cry is simply so different from any other times.. crying so helplessly.. being tortured. no milk, no changing of pampers..

mummies here.. can u all feel the pain seeing that happening to ur bb? I guess someone here may not hv any feeling towards the frustration that we mummies with maids are having.
 
wah, sounds really bad leh. i hv not hesitation to show her the door since she cun perform her job well and is getting more and more demanding.

ur little son is only so small and u can sense his helplessness,i m sure many mummies hearts' go out to u. we have been following this thread long enough to understand ur agony.

we r working mummies as well, so i m sure every working mum will know if u dun do ur job well, the employer will ask us to pack up n go. We would be given warnings n such but after repeated warnings still no improvement, what will the mgmt do? the answer is only obvious!
 
dramaqueen..

my parents still leave the last call to me since i employ her.

we hv been nice to her since her arrival. i never dote on any of my previous maid at all. i still buy her a top up card to call home on hari raya. bought her a pair of slipper.. some new baju.. bring her for haircut.. go out makan, i let her eat in peace.. n i take care of my son on my own. my mum even cook some food with chili esp for her since she loves chili on every meal.. allow afternoon naps.. watch tv.. none of my previous maids hv such treatment.

but she is not appreciative of things we do.. she can even admit that she took us for granted n did things on purpose even thou we treat her well.. prior to me flaring up at her the past few days.

she will see me very often next week at my mum's place.. she hv fear. like yest.. i was there.. i stood quietly behind her looking at her cleaning the windows in my parents' room. this is how she clean.. simply wipe across the top, centre n bottom.. n didnt properly clean up all the windows.. no wonder do things so fast.. n can rest liao whenever i not there. i there, she do things very slowly. just to act very hardworking n busy..

hai.. i told her. as long as she does her things properly.. fast is ok with me. but dun ever try do shortcut! i m too sharp in spotting shortcuts. she can tell me "yes i know. i realised that". but still.. she again n again try to b funny. b4 i left my parents place yest.. i told her to give me a list of wat she do daily when at my parents' place. again her eyes turn red.. sigh
 
dramaqueen..

precisely! seeing my bb crying helplessly.. no milk.. no pampers change. i pick up my bb from maid n hug him. bring him into the room n quickly gave him a good wash (at the same time see any obvious injury).. gave him milk.. n there he goes.. stop crying.. smiling away play with me.. n fall into deep sleep shortly after.

imagine having to play so many different roles.. we give out best to everything that we do. work may b impt.. but our kids are impt as well.

i guess onli mummies who seriously follow this thread will understand the frustration each of us are facing.. cheers! mummies!
 
Jo,
Ever since my experience with my ex-maid, I will never leave my kids alone with any other maid at home. Even though my ex-maid took very good care of them when they were babies, she has abused my trust and I cannot trust anyone anymore.

I have the same concern as you about kids getting sick in childcare. When my girl was about 2 years old, I sent her to 2 hour playgroup only, and she was getting sick very often. Now my younger boy has been coughing for more than 2 months already, he is not even going to any playgroup yet. I suspect he is infected by his sister. My girl recovered very quickly, but he is still not well after so long. Especially since you have 2 kids so young, they are certainly going to infect each other. It will be better to send them to childcare when they are at least 3 - 4 years old.

Our management style has nothing to do with getting maids who have bad attitude, who lies or simply cannot do the job. My ex-maid told me she is so happy working for me, she wants to work for me for a very long time. But she has done things which put my kids safety at risk, and I have to send her back.
 
tam..

yup.. agree with u. simply our luck that maids we hv chosen betray our trust. i wont leave my kids alone with my maid since that incident. its realli very hurting to see my bb like that.

as much as i want to give her trust.. she took for granted n betray the trust once n again. i cant believe her words at all.
 
wishes..

yah lo. she dun even see the point that its a heavy burden on us! having to support our own kids.. still got to support her.. n then we get frustrated over things that she do..
 
I did not say that you have to keep a useless maid in your household. CHANGE!

What bothers me in this particular thread is that the group of 'pitiful' mummies seem to perpetuate and support one another that it is perfectly OKAY to threaten their maids (this includes emotional), deduct their pays like they are some lowly life, secondary to you being the superior I'm-the-FTWM etc etc. Why is that? Does this not send the message across that such behaviour is actually acceptable amongst you lot? And that MOM should think you are the oh-so-pitiful victims?

What a sad bunch.
 
Elektra,
I suspect you did not read every post in the thread. I have written before that I will NOT scold my maid, and I will NOT threaten to send her back. I never say that it is OK to threaten the maid. Another mommy KC also ask Jo to ignore her and be calm.

You should try to be calm and not react in a such a manner to people you know only superficially.

Jo, KC, me and other mommies have suffered from bad maids before. We understand how Jo is feeling, which is why we are not writing in such a harsh and insensitive manner like you do. This is what support groups are for.

If you feel that you do not like what you are reading, then it is best not to visit this thread to make yourself unhappy.
 
Jo,
Walt is so big now ! Xander is so chubby and adorable. How old are they now ? Our kids are the only thing that will make us forget about our maid problems, right ?
 
Elektra..

anyway.. why shld it bother u if u not b facing wat we are facing ??? or probably u are oso one of those lowly beings? hahha

further to that.. wats wrong with these mummies here changing 5-6maids? they did CHANGE if they hv a useless /irresponsible maid..

if it bothers u so much.. then just get out of this thread.. dun even bother to read or post here! fyi, watever these mummies say here, they hv the freedom of speech. u cant stop them from posting their tots here..

oh yes! dun u know that the employers are oways the pitiful ones? at the end of the day.. even maid done a wrongful deed.. MOM will pin point all on the employers when they dun even know the reason behind the change?
 
Elektra,

yes....you're right! We're a group of sad or unhappy people having problem with maid and that's why we're at 'Advise on babys and maids exps' forum discussing about the exps and pours out our unhappiness that some exps gals here can help.

I'm pretty new here, I'm here because of having some problem with my maids and got all the advises from the people here...I appreciated it.
Maybe you do not have a maid or no bad exps with maid, that why you don't understand. Like what tam say...if this thread is not for you and make you unhappy, do come in here next time when you're facing problems with maid.
 
i cant imagine myself being a mum of 2 lately. whenever i see them sleeping.. i recall the time when i was preg till they are born.. their growing stage till today.

looking at Walt.. AMAZING! he is realli a big boy now. but i still call him big bb (Walt likes to b called that way).. n Xan small bb..

they are now 21months n 5months.. time realli flies..........
 


Jo, Walt is ahandsome boy huh...and xander is so cute... Is that you in the pic.... if so, you're very slim.
 
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