Advice on Myanmar Maid

Hey Tinklestar, I feel your pain...

For contacting her family, if phone n letters don't do the trick. Tell the agent who will then call their province agent to go to the mother's house to pass the message or connect maid and mom through calling your cell phone from province agent cell phone.
 


Normally I give rough period when she will return home. Sometimes they press so I provide date.

And the actual is usually one or two days before given date.

For obvious reasons.
 
Tinklebell, you are nice enough to consider for her n future prospective employers under such circumstance, fortunately your kid is not harmed eating those stuff. i heard other pple will just rid of the maid.. Your maid sounds a little similar to mine, also young , pretty n likes my kids alot. Personally i find the things you shared abt your maid i cant really accept if my maid is like that. Food hygience n washing utensils clean is very important to me.. How difficult can washing be? No excuse. The bottles must be air dry n not soaky wet and my maid knows this cos I told her mould is not acceptable. When my maid first came, she cant seem to clean windows , she leaving water marks after cleaning, i have to do it for her one afternoon with her watching to prove that it can be done n im not trying to be picky. I think she knows that im reasonable n I dont fault her as long as she knows what i expect n ask when she dont know how to do so i can teach her.. I can tolerate genuine mistakes but not sloppiness .maybe you can talk with maid agent to see how they can help in ensuring your maid goes back safely.
 
Opps i type wrongly tinklestar
happy.gif
 
Hi to all, I have Burmese maid too. Nightmare. I think I'll flood this thread if I were to list everything here but to cut it short. I wanna ask

- what will you do when your maid refuses to eat, especially when she is angry?

Obviously she is showing her temper despite telling her and warning given uncountable times not to show angry faces to anyone, not to us or future employers.
 
Each individual incl us has attitude..so leave her alone...if she hungry, she will know how to find food to eat. My former dil7gent, honest but also had same attitude..doesn't eat if not happy after we told off her mistakes upon mistakes...later, she will just eat again after she thinks through.

My current is the best so far..thank GOD. That's why, i am so willing to give her my still good condition items and footwear to her. She shows appreciative.
 
Thanks for reply.

I think I didn't make myself clear. The incident was yesterday evening. She refused dinner, this morning breakfast, afternoon lunch and dinner. Said she is not hungry and when asked when will she think she will be hungry, answered I got was : I DON'T KNOW.

I would like to know what will most of you do
 
staff,
I have exactly the same maid who behave like this, she is only with us 4 days, and she freak us out , she like to sit at a corner in the living room in the dark imagine when you are back home late, and suddenly there is someone sitting just right in the middle of the room.
This maid didnt want to eat too, claiming that she is not hungry in the morning and she wait till 11:00am , to eat her breakfast. Then later of the day she complain stomach pain, we give her some pill, she is fine again. And she skipped her dinner refused to cook. When we tell her that you must eat else you will sick, she shows her black face and eat plain rice only when there are dishes given.
We give her maggie mee ONCE and she told agent we give her maggie mee everyday. All these happen over 4 days and i send her back to agency on the 4th night.
What is ever worse is the agency transfer this maid to another family who has no experiences in hiring maid.

advise, send her back to agency, when the maid dont eat, she fall sick, it is our liability to take care too, we need someone to help us , not someone for us to baby sit
 
I was very mad. So mad that she threw her temper, I was harsh to ask her why dun want to eat the food despite telling her to eat, "will die is it!" Okay, I was harsh as I was very very angry, if I show you all her angry face, you will know what I mean. And you know her answer to me? "I don't know". I told her off before dinner time, no shouting because I am good at mind game. Started tearing with barely 10 sentences, she thinks my hub sides her. I walked close to her, told her very softly that she had to make it up for her mistakes for wasting food by accumulating them in a box. I told her I want to see if she will die or not by finishing the food I prepared and I gave her 3 bowls of rice (kids' bowl) lots of fishes and vegetables. She finished the food (I am not surprised because she can finish 2 Boon Lay nasi lemak portion.)

Later she said sorry to me. Hub is so sure that he will send her back. Right after CNY. She can happily recount her 24 months in sg while her fellow friends are going back in coming August.
 
I know she is very very reluctant to go back agency because
- recount 24 months with new emp (I am her 3rd)
- deduct 2 months salary (this amount agent will collect from her)
- salary cut at least $20-$30
 
Actually just leave her be but if she continues like this, send her back or record your conversation with you about not eating

I tell my maid these days, you are not a child. I am not your mother. If you make mistakes many times and your mother don't scold, it's because you are helping her, you don't get a salary.

Same for not eating. People talk about respecting the maid. Do respect her decision not to eat but make sure you are protected. Else people may accused you of being a slave driver by dictating her food, her eating times etc.
 
We should get the agent to speak to her in myammar language over the phone to explain to her employer's concern that she needs to eat, etc. my current maid initially came ate very little and doesn't want to drink soup. we were so worried on the first week that agent helped to translate and explained in myammar language. now, she is so happy with us as she eats and drinks the same type of food, soup..her parents also played a part to advise her to eat, when she called home.
 
Hi tinklestar, how to make sure we're protected? MOM only sides with maid. My ex-maid once go on hunger strike when I blew my top at her for using hp non-stop. She threw all the food we left for her dinner into the trash, and same thing the following day. In the end, I apologized to her as I didn't want to get into trouble with MOM if she faint or complain that she was denied food. It's my words against hers.
 
Use hp or camera to record conversation. Speak to agent so agent has a record. Write down dates maidrefuse to eat and get her to sign.

But if I have a maid like this, I will send her back. Afterall, health shouldn't be taken lightly.
 
Saying sending her back is so easy. How many actually sendin her back? Drive 30mins to the agency and tell agent to lecture her and come back still the same? Send her back to agent then pay insurance and fee for new maid and then cross fingers? Keep changing and changing and keep spending extra hundreds of dollars?

Anyway, my method works. Not to every maids but after changing so many, I am really tired of paying agency and training all over again. All myanmar maids don't know they are here for , they were all deceived by the agent by painting nice picture of themselves being here in sg. This was told by my current myanmar maids, she was so happy when she called her home an found out all her classmates are waiting to enter sg. Most of them are not willing to work as a maid, mine till now still don't think she is a maid by making decision on her own despite telling her which one to do, what thing to bring.

I was helpless. I came here to sort help when he refused her food but this was not first time and I am going make sure this is the last time. I really appreciated. As for protecting myself, I know what I can do and what I cannot do. Thank you all for your inputs. Really.

As for this agency, hopeless is the only word I can use. I am not going to spend extra (insurance, increase salary) for another maid as I will be leaving town in a year time, now already feb, I will tahan for till all visa approved, then I will sen her back and not getting replacement.
 
Hey Tinklestar and all, been mia and away for a while.

All of you made very good points. I absolutely agree with all these tips and different situations call for different tactics. Seldom a one stroke hits all kindda situation.

Evidence, journal is impt, audio, visual, whatever you can. Leave little to doubt and quibble. Counseling (measured and appropriately applied) is diligence. Why measured, coz we have a life and do not like to be taken by the noses as fools.
For me, keeping MOM updated was good, they had been an invaluable source of advice and support throughout my few rather interesting maids.
 
I know how baaaaaad things can get when the helper decides to behave odd, off, weird, and whatever terms we have.

My recent new helper said she doesn't eat on day one. I thought, hmm, now I hope this doesn't get too interesting. ESP after I was tired from the departure of the recent maid, so many things were uncovered, we and the police stopped recording after the 55th item. I don't think I had shared the recent happenings here yet.

Anyway, I had asked beforehand what she eats and doesn't eat (eg she doesn't eat beef). So I scooped her food for her and gave her a chili paste that smells heavenly usually to myanmese with a lime to add fragrance. I told her. Please finish it. I checked on her later. True enough, she can eat. Next meal, again, sigh, so I told her to finish what she is given, second day, again, tell me she don't need food. I still gave her what I expect her to eat to be healthy and strong, and I always give more than adequate 5-6 meals.

There are things that rock their world more. I''m not saying that we must pander to all their requests, but there could be some things which are irresistible!!!

Jia you!!!!
 
The point is, she is always doing this. Of course once or twice or infrequently is still fine. Everyone has a temper, whether reasonable or not.

If you have a record and however you do it works, and you are happy to keep doing it, without having to worry if one day MOM will come up to you and say you have been complained against, then continue. It is about what makes you happy.
Of course no one wants to be pay the agent, get a lousy maid again. I personally experience this.

When I say health is important, it is not just hers, it's about yours. I can say this because my maid was unteacheable until I realised I have been too kind to her and stop being kind. She became teachable, hardworking and even started having initiative. During my maid's teachable period, I was constantly falling ill from stress, because of her while she was happy going on her way. There's a saying when you are unhappy, the person giving you grief is still happy. So my point is, if you cannot take it and there's a better solution, then pls do not keep her.

And I agree with nelle, pls keep MOM updated if you decide to keep her. Afterall, usually the 1st to speak up 1st have an advantage. If there should be a false complain against you, MOM cannot denied this. And pls, keep your feedback to MOM, I believe they usually sent and acknowledgement.

I personally feedback to MOM before, after my maid behaves like a totally fresh maid after coming back front her interview. All these will let MOM know that maids are not as innocent and naive as they seem to be and might eventually be a greater good for all maid employers.
 
Something to share :

Refuse to eat -

Seems like this is quite common among these Burmese. At first (few 1 month with me), she told me she is like that, no need to eat but can work and survive, I insisted but still, either skip lunch or dinner, many times skip dinner. Then lately I found out

- ask for biscuits from my mil, mil gave many packets behind my back thinking it is just snack. Then I found out she also drinks my coffee tea milo without asking me but diff ppl she see, eg my mil, fil and my sil. These people only told me after few months and then I know she is not a Wonder Woman too, she eats what she likes. A maxi loaf of bread finish in 4 days. 3 months worth of coffee ( I buy 3 in 1 )she finished in 1.5 months, after calculation, she admitted drinking 3 packs in the morning. I was thinking, how is that possible, then few times I woke up at night, found out she was awake and ironing clothes, god knows since when my iron was turned on. (I later found out she doesn't even know how to iron, that explained y my bill increase by 50%)

After asking, found out she didn't sleep at night for long, like 4-5 hours after sleeping time 9-10pm, she woke up, take coffee, eat bread, eat biscuit and enjoying like she is the madam in the house.

So, take note if they are snacking. They may be just prefer to choose to eat the food they like. And we look like as if we don't feed them enough. (Once she threw away the good I packed for her, saying she is full, but the fact is she wants to go home and eat her favourite cookies. I confronted her and she admitted she likes biscuits)

I don't know how many maids out there like to tell lies. Mine is good but I am better so none of her lies pass me.
 
Actually why do u need to drive to agent. I call my agent, tell them to counsel her on phone. I tell them what I am unhappy with about the maid. I tell them what I have done to counsel the maid. That time, she still couldn't speak well in English. Basically, the maid must feel that everyone feels she's not right then she will change her mind.

And I constantly remind her these days, esp when she keeps making the same mistakes that I am not her mother. Of course I show her a little concern too. She's afterall under my care.
I'm not sure about your maid but mine certainly behaves like a princess so reminding them that I pay a salary, not her family is very important. And making her sign is a gd thing also. Many maids think they can hold you hostage (from what I know of certain cases) and knowing you have evidence will make them refrain from the behaviour you do not want. My maid is one case. I wrote down all her mistakes and paste it where she sleeps. Miraculously, she improved until I took down the paper. From 5 mistakes and more to 2-3 every few days.

I find its pointless to give them good food and too much food. I use to bring my maid out for dinner etc (i did this with all my maids). Then I realise, she stop appreciating the simple food we eat at home. Waste our food, refuse to eat. Choosy. So now she stays home and eat. No outside food. More time for her to do her work properly also. More time for her to reflect on what she has done wrongly.

I need to bring this up too, if the maid just comes, it is normal for them to have little appetite.
 
Then excuse me for asking : send back to agent means ?

Call agent many times, whatapps her to update the maid behaviours too.

Repeated mistakes are very serious mistake (forgot to off the stove, open the cap when boiling water(means no beep when it's boiled, water may dry up and no prize for guessing what will happen next), so far the most serious one is come back 3 hours later, gas leak. These are repeated mistakes, teach and teach, warn and warn. The mistakes and repeated mistakes, now I wrote them down, I got her to sign after 20 ticks and salary deducted.(of course I quietly put back the money in her account so I am kinda protected)

Princess, I almost forgot to use this word, mine is a princess, still is a princess, wants nail polish, toes too, paint before asking me, hands rough, I gave lotion, then ask for more like buy gloves and slipper while cleaning.

Food, no more eating out share, she cook her own. Imagine he thaw 4 fishes, 3 for her, all cleaned an washed but my fish, before cooking, checked and internal all not clean. I was so pissed and told her to keep cleaned fish, take unclean fish and cook again! She cried, I told her I Should be the one crying! No matter how, she just any give any explanation why all these happened so I told her, what goes around, comes around. Then she started tearing. Now she has no chance to choose her food, because I stop buying snack.

And I also need to highlight, she is not new, 9 months with me.
 
Send her back meaning transfer or send her home. My maid has change and I know what I can do to have optimum or acceptable behaviour from her. I also told her I am not willing to pay for good food ( of course she still has acceptable and nutritious food, things I will eat myself), clothing, shoes except what I deem necessary since her work is bad.

The thiNg is, no one is saying you have done wrongly. But are you able to accept her and continue tolerating her. I did this with my maid until I realise I am at the losing end and was tired and stress up. When I made a decision to send her home, I am then firm enough not to accept her mistakes and make it clear to her they are unacceptable. And I adopted the necessary measures to make her a better maid

The point is, like children, maids like this thinks they can push your boundaries. When you soften your heart, they start again. How long will you tolerate? When I said sent back, it is of course the decision that should be best to you.

I am very sure maids like my maid and yours, will not change or improve unless they know that your heart is harden enough not to accept such nonsense from them.
 
I would have made her clean the dirty fish and cooked it while I keep the cleaned ones. But honestly, knowing my maid's standard, I would ask the fish monger to clean for me.

I wouldn't give her lotion, except as a perk but I would give gloves. After all, I don't want her problem to be my problem.

I should repeat this, I am not questioning your method of dealing with your maid.

I am only saying, protect yourself even when it means sending her back home or to the agent. Everyone has different method of dealing with a difficult maid. So it's really how much tolerance level you have or what you feel it's the best decision.

When I make a decision to send her home, I harden my heart. Now that she has improve, I would consider keeping her til end of contract. And my maid now realise I am not to be fooled with. So after I have point out mistakes and I go out without her (even to buy groceries) she knows that I am not pleased.

Or when I see maids doing wrong things and my kids are with me, I purposely point out. But I definitely would not tolerate her old behaviour of constant mistakes etc again because it was really hell for me.
 
Nelle,

Did you need to pay for the air ticket of the maid who stole? Did you need to pay for her lodgings? Or only make police report and sent her home?

Want to know in case this happens to me. I would not want to send a maid who steals to the agent or give her a chance to come to Singapore to steal from others.
 
Hi Tinklestar,

Complex but very good question. Let me try to give a general surmised answer due to lack of time. Am still in office now.

Case scenario brief:
Maid one and maid three stole. Different employment Periods. Pina and Myan.

Both cases had hard evidence and admission statements and witnesses to written admissions. CCTV both audio visual. Legally indisputable. Both MOM updated throughout tenure.
First maid that st
 
First maid, 6 policemen, I policewoman and 1 crime scene photographer. Arrested. Two days later, pinoy embassy. She essentially holidayed here for next two months, ticket, we paid.

Second case, I updated DTL but told police not to come as I am aware fully of penal code pathway. Arrestable offense. Her air ticket was for next day, packed and sent her with vid proof ensuring she boarded the plane then police report made,
 
Police report and details all furnished after maid boarded, report to MOM, blacklist etc.

SPF asked why no report made at time of incident discovery. They were confident of next day charge and indictment.

My humble opinion differed.

Essentially, airfares, we paid. Ensure you use visa or MasterCard for money trail in case of future dispute. Ensure all due diligence is shown carried out on your part.

Tinklestar, as a friend, if you need, holler if it ever happens.

We have grown to be not experts but just a lil more experienced.
 
I felt that the government/local authorities are not helping us at all.

We need maids but faced with sooooo many problems engaging a trustworthy one (I am not even implying good, just trustworthy) with an honest background.

But when faced with cheating maids and all, all the onus fell on us to resolved. Yet we still attract suspicion from the authorities ... eg we do not treat our maid well, that's why they become like that. We don't give them off-day, that's why they become like that.

Want to increase TFR, yet the local authorities are so half-hearted in helping us.
Childcare sooo expensive, close at 7, whilst mummies stop work at 6 (who in Singapore works till 6 in Singapore, we are expected to do OT with no pay, otherwise we are deemed unproductive).
 
I am resigned to bad fate.

Need maid, but now cannot afford ($450 + 170 + 100 misc costs). Even if I can squeeze extra money to get one, in the end, have to incur medical cost cause my blood pressure goes up.

Sigh ....

I used to think that those who are married and do not want kids are selfish. But now, I discourage people I know, who do not have immediate help from own parents or inlaws to drop the idea of having kids.
 
My indo maid is with us for 2 years, actually because of her bad attitude we sent her back one year ago. But she apologizes many times during the one year and I asked her to come back recently.

I thought she have changed but her attitude got worse than last time. She made a mistake and my hubby scolded her and she banged our door grill very hard to vent her angers. My hubby was so angry that he wanted to send her back immediately but I stopped him.

Why I suffer in silence all these years? During the 6 years I have been employing many maids before, all have bad attitude and arrogant. 3 years back I gave birth to my second child where I suffered from avascular necrosis and made me lose my two hip bones and got a total hip replacement and thus need to employ a permanent maid in my house. I got no choice as I can no longer squat down, bend down, run or lie or sit on the floor, thus taking care of my child basic chores such as bathing and things that involves bending and squatting is no longer an available option to me.

I am terribly sad where no one is able to help me and because of the policies all protecting the maids, the maids that I employed are all arrogant and eversince the offdays weekly for them are implemented, they become more proud and think that they are queens . My this maid changed even more after she is informed of this. She told me she do not want the off days. However , everyday she has been trying ways and means to make us angry and always gave us a super black face.

I told her off, she gave me see a even more black face and when I ask her something she just don't answer me with her head high up. She kept on doing wrong things to irritate us.

I have no choice but to endure with her queen attitude as I know the maids nowadays only treat us as a stepping stones. Maids love to do housework only but all tell lies to come here to look after children. They lies about it so that once they are here, they will transfer immediately to work for others where no taking care of children is needed.

I am really tired of employing them whereby I cannot choose at all. My current maid knew my situation and bully me straight. She knew how her friends tells lies, come here first and transfer next. I have a son with autism , and a younger daughter, because of them and my disability I have to put up with my maids nonsense ..... What a world is this? Is there any justice in life , sometimes I wonder..I can never find a maid who can work properly in my house with no nonsense.

Maids lead a better life than me, they choose their food, they choose where they want to go anytime by transferring as they like, whereas I am left with no choice after I have 2 children in my life.

I have no one to help me, that is life.
 
Hi Michelle,

I empathise with you. I have frequent severe back pain after giving birth. Personally I feel that once a maid thinks that you cannot for without her, they will behave badly. I have experience this with all my maids and the other thing Is, when they have been with you for long, they misbehave too.

In any case, I suggest you quickly find a maid to replace this current maid. Unless she's really fantastic at her work, pls don keep her. My maid only wants to do child caring stuff but honestly, the moment I turn my back, she takes shortcuts too. Such as just sit there and watch my infant bath in bathtub and then splash a bit of water and say he's done. No rubbing at all.

I have reached the point where I think really it's the character if the maid that makes a difference. We can only teach andAkers them do again and again so often. I have given up because I know my maid will not change and I'm preparing to take over her tasks when I sent her back.

Most maids will take advantage also. That's why once a maid leaves my house, I will not take her back. Its like telling her it's fine for you to misbehave. But this is really my work attitude, when I leave a company, I will never go back unless they invited me back and of course I will be thinking that I'm good at my work, they need me bah bah bah....
 
Hi Tinklestar

Thanks for your advice. I know that she won't be in my house for long but I know other maids will also be like her too as I have tried 13 maids before.

I am tired of them , all of them come my house to transit and have no intention of looking after my children as to them transferring is like eating rice.

I just felt that I am not the lucky one and left with no choice since after birth I lost both my legs.

I envy you that you still have a choice, whereas I am left with none. Thank you for understanding what I have been through as most people always think that the boss is always wrong when come to maid and always say we don't treat them well especially they love to show a pitiful face in front of everybody.
 
Dear all, I need some advice. Do any of you know whether just based on postal address, can Myanmar maid send money back?

My maid wants to send money back but there is no bank account.
 
Sorry, I somehow missed this message.

For the Ph maid, we sent through western union or equivalent in lucky plaza.

For all the myanmese, my husband had transferred money to the local agent in Sgp who would then contra with their counterpart in Myn and we would have maid call home to verify receipt and amount.

Think charge was either free or might be a token $3.
 
My husband would just transfer from his DBS acc to agent DBS acc. So it's easy least.

However, do emphasize to your helper that you only help facilitate and that the choice to use her agent to transfer would be her prerogative.

I would always insist on only transmitting a small amount to test channel and never transmit huge sums through such means due to lack of contract, little recourse.

Essentially, cap risk. Maid no trouble, we lesser stress.
 
There are agents at Peninsula Plaza that help to send money to yangon, even it is a house address . I help my maid to send the money to her relatives (trustable ones) in yangon thru' these agents. But their exchange rates are not great.
 
beware mummies with our yMyanmar maids, I posted an ad in gumtree looking for part time cleaner and had several phone calls from Myanmar maids offering me part time cleaning services. they say they have off days to do part time job and when I say I don't want weekends, they say week days also can...why is that possible, I really wonder...just watch your maids more closely especially if u r not home during the day...hope this is useful !
 
Hi,
I am intending to help my Myanmar maid send money back too. Just checked that Western Union does it for Myanamr now. Any reccomendations for agents in Peninsular Plaza? Thanks
 
Hi!

Can anyone advise what is the market rate for Myanmar maid renewing contract now? Cos my maid's work permit will be expiring soon and I would like to offer her a new contract. Don't want to over or underpay her. Thanks!
 


I went to look around, some experienced/transfered are asking for $500/$520, with off days.

But for new one, ranging from $400 to $460, with 4 off days. If no off, need to compensate about $70?
 
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