Advice me pls: Maid wearing my clothes


New Member
I saw the mms in my Indo maids' mobile, and she was wearing my sleeveless low-cut tank top! There was not 1, but 3 of such photos! She used the photos and sent to her husband. Photo was taken in my common toilet lah.

Her working attitude is good, keeps my house spick n span, takes good care of my girl. My 2nd one is due in a mths time, and I dunno if I should change a maid or continue keeping this one (just that she'll continue to wear my clothes?!!!)

Wwhat should i do... quite depressed to discover tat she'll do something like that :S

hi JL, weigh the pros and cons. in view of the 2nd one that is coming along your way, i would advise you to monitor further. this could be a one off incident hence you cant conclude that your maid is wearing your clothes all the time.

alternatively, you may give the shirt to her as a gift (without revealing the fact that you saw her wearing it), i bet she will be more than happy to have the gift and serve you better. depends if you can take it or not.

My maid is very very kaypoh kind. She will flip all the bills and letters to see what is inside. I wanted to tell her off but then my son at her mercy so I close one eye. And I am quite sure she has opened our drawers or see our albums too since she is mostly alone at home and free.

Many types of funny maids around. You just have to learn to accept since if you get another maid, she may have a different kind of behavior too.

If it bothers you too much, perhaps you should talk to her? But then again, does she know you spot check her hp?
So kanec, u still continue to keep ur maid even though she prys thru ur things ah? No lah, she not so clever.. coz after that incident, i chked her mobile yest when I sent her to buy groceries. Wah piang, she took another 2 photos wearing two other of my tank tops. Obviously she doesn't know that she has been 'caught' lor...

I scared if i tell her i found out, she may run away in fear thinkin that i may send her back??
Yes I know cos I have camera at home. So even if you do not have camera at home, she may also do the same as my wont know too right..
kanec > how much does it cost to install cam?? Its those live camera or recording type?? Oh, btw, where to buy?? Maybe i should consider...

So does ur maid know that u have a camera at home??
I got a hidden camera. My #2 & #3 didnt know i had this and thats why they were sent away around 1 mth. (cos you will see alot u do not want to see). Current one I did tell her but not sure if she understands what is camera or not. As I still see her flipping my letters and stuffs to check on them.
Oh, so i reckon she doesn't understand lor.. anyway i've decided to send this one back and take adv of my ML to train new one *fingers crossed* Have accepted the fact that there's no perfect one, so will just have to hope for the best
I know one thing for sure for the new maid, NO HANDPHONE. My current one ah, from the first day she joined, i let her call home (to tell family she's safe n sound), and every two wks call home again. And all on my expense. After she got her hp, all the weird things started.. So ungrateful
Hi JL,

I agreed with you. Never be too lenient to maid. No Hp and set house rule to your new maid.

Recently, my agent called me and told me that my new maid's family want to know if she is doing fine in our house. Agent asked me to give her phonecard to call back home. I straight away rejected and I asked my maid to send letter home instead.
Actually I am ok with her making calls from our house phone but I can't accept that they own a hp.

These days, its sooo difficult to say NO to them when they request for one unless you are prepared to change maid or can tolerate her black face everyday. WOrst if she takes care of your bb at home.

My current maid when 1st came fresh from Indo requested for a hp just working for me for mere 10mths only !! I was shocked at her request as it came unexpected since I never expect she would request for one when I hired her thinking she is from kampong must be suaku. I was wrong !!!

These days, they get influenced from neighbour's maids, upstairs, downstairs, next door etc.

Sometimes I also feel no use to set rules beforehand actually. Cos they always say ok mum, everything ok but later they will tend to request again. This happened to one of my friend.
<font face="Comic Sans MS,Tahoma"> Agree that maid shouldn't be given Hp. The maid employed by realtive to look after my grandpa, owned Hp. And she carrys it where ever she goes. The phone even rings in the middle of the night ! Well, they're too lenient on her and sides her too. As long as she don't do anything that seriously piss me off, I won't bother abt her as well.. </font>.
i think since u discovered it, you should find a chance to question her.. if you dun do so, she will becum more and more daring..!!
HI ladies :its so weird that the helper wears her employer's abotu other stuffs?????and using MMS??????me also dunno how to use le!!!!!!!

My helper do hv Hp but she dun use it to call cos no idd functions.I use SKYPE for her calls so when she wants to call she hv to ask me then i hv to make calls for her.....which is in loud laptop speakers.....i can hear her conversations too....of cos i dun understand but.....dun wanna let her knwo she cna use head phones etc :p
Sorry... I agree w mom who opt for sacking the current maid of yours. I wouldn't wanna waste my time to stress for 'outsiders' esp. within my area of control "household". otherwise, my hubby will see me as incompetent wife...
Sometimes I find NO HANDPHONE is no use one. My 3-mth Mayanmar maid went to befriend with an Indo maid (that time she's only 1-mth in SG) and use other ppl's handphone. In the end the Indo maid complain to me.

I am sending her back next week after many incidents. But it's really piangz lor.
my maid also hv her own hp. i think it good cos

1. i dun need to pay her call
2. she can be reachable when she go for her off-day and i'll be late reaching home.
3. i call her hp whenever my house tel cannot call through (cos i use MIO plan and it's lousy)
4. when i wonder myself off in shopping centre, i also can call her to find her location.

and all the above calling to her, i did not pay her any cents.

so for maid to have hp also not a bad idea.
hi i usually tell the maids that they will not have hp until they finish the 2yr contract and we are still extending her contract.

so far there is only one maid which we extended her contract and after she got her hp, there were new problems. she wanted to meet her "sister" and then she gets upset when she speaks to her friends and boyfriends and it affects her work performance...
hi Kanec or anyone else who knows
where to get the camera and how to install? cheap &amp; gd is best. prefer e time tt can record &amp; i can view later then can erase afterwards type - if there is such a type...

plse help or pm me if u can help

Dear mothers or mothers-to-be, if you are looking for an experienced nanny, feel free to contact my mom by sending me a personal message.

My mom has a lot of experience taking care of children as well as newborn. willing to take care for day and night.
Hi Shill09 and other mummies,

Im looking for the same camera too..kindly advise me if u have foung one? thks alot

agree that maid shldnt have hp. really affect their works.
Hi..I also install camera at home living area. I made sure maid know also so she won't do nonsense. So far so good lar. The camera u can get at Sim Lim Sq. Many shops there sell...U must go shop to shop as price lar...The one we got around $100 plus but very clear and the view angle is larger.. Cheap camera cannot see so much lor. Get those light ones that u can stick on ceiling using 3M double sided tape. Or else must drill hole in wall more troublesome..Ours the video is captured and stored in our computer...This my hubby do lar coz he in IT...I think we gonna get more later for the kitchen as well...U can also get dummy ones for maybe certain rooms to scare them so they think ur able to watch them in every room..But of course dun put any in toilet/bathroom lar...

My maid also got HP but I make sure she use not infront of us...its good like when she bring my child to playground or jalan jalan, we can call her to come back anytime...her contract oso say actually no HP one but her 1st mth she come only already cry cry everyday say she miss family..wants HP to communicate. Its good oso lar. Now che cry less and dun look so bored. And more mood to play with my child.
My colleague caught her maid using her tweezers! I think she was horrified as tweezers are considered personal items. Must consider hygiene yeah? She asked the maid if the first time using and she said yes. But she also wonder if she lied. I think she shudders to think the maid use her tweezer to remove armpit hair!
hi herlihy,
Me too, want to get the camera. Can i hav è brand n how muc it cost as well as è unit no / shop name at sim lim.
hello all mums,
i am thinking of getting a Myanmese maid (ex-Sin) to take care of my 7mth old baby. Is this a good idea?
hi mummies

know the thread started with maid wearing employeres clothes but i just wanted to ask the mummies here, do u separate food for the maids? like if i buy snacks etc for my kids, do your maids help themselves to it? i just got a new filipina and she helps herself to the coke and the japanese seaweed without telling me ( i saw them in her room). otherwise her work is fine. am i being very ngiaow to want to ask her about them?
Hi dseptkon,

Yes, i did separate the food for my maids.
Fyi, filipino maid is difficult to control and will show temper and anger when they are not happy. I have just changed my filipino maid to Indo maid. Very...... bad experience with my filipino maid. She will steal the baby wipes, use it without asking. After 1st off-day, get herself a pregnancy test kit during her 2nd off-day. Usually i keep her mobile phone only allow her to use alternate night,but got herself another mobile phone. She tok my sis's maid, if she couldn't get to spk on the phone, she will get headache. Stupid excuses...

thanks for the reply. your filipina sounds very siong le. has she had a lot of experience in singapore? mine was a transfer from a superrich employer living in orchard road, Indo expat but who verbally abused her. The agent said cannot be lax with her and overall she is good and softspoken (better than the ex-Taiwan horror story that i returned to the agent but that is another story) but was just wondering how strict to be. my parents said must be stricter now while she is new otherwise later it will be difficult to rein in.
hi all mummies,
may be i share my maid experience someother day but to tell how to control things like they not spy on ur things..
I have 3 bedrooms in my house. one of the room is prayer cum office room. I always close the door (so maid dont enter, if we r going out maid comes along with us) I am stay at home mom. If you r working and dont stay at home to watch over maid then lock one room. keep a office lock n key storage cabinet and store all ur letters, bank credit cards, even ur purse and any documents etc, My living room got only remote control, toys, baby books and movie cds.
She has full access to all the cupboards in the kitchen.
bedroom got my husband and baby clothes, some basic toileteries of babies and my husband.

the locked room contain my clothes, my toileteis like perfumes etc., jewelery and documents, purse and credit cards etc., everything locked in filing cabinet and the door is always closed. I clean the room and if lazy I make sure all the cupboards and cabinets are closed and I ask her to sweep and mop in my supervision. All she can see is locked cabinets and cupboards and prayer place and printer and sofa bed.

when she asked why I lock the room, (well if u r staying in same house and treat her nice and she treats u nice she will sure ask one) tell her prayer room u dont want anyone to enter and consider sacred and even u dont enter without bath/ during mensus etc., and everyday ones we take out letters from mailbox, go straight to the locked room and keep ur purse/bag and letters. thats it and dont let them know how the key looks and where u keep the key.

I make sure I dont take my maid to market as they would know lot of things on our spending habits and they might even demand or tell their wish (ex my maid asked if she can buy jewelry or phone and enquiring on it) its best u or ur husband go alone and ones u come home ask maid to bring shopping trolley to lift/ car park. best is to do online shopping ( and

If possible keep all important documents in bank/ cisco locker and those daily required at home in lock n key cabinet.

I bought lock &amp; key office storage cabinet and spy camere before my maid arrive and installed a camera with recording. Ones ur maid at home observe her closely for first few days as there are few drama queens around. and on the first day itself give her a sheet of house rules and go through one by one. If she doesnt follow something inform her right away.

Be careful with maids who r nice with SIR and dont listen to MADAM. Make sure you control the maid and not the SIR. ANd they should know that if dont listen to Madam they can be sent back. My first maid was a drama queen and she played around tricks and lying a lot. She would tell me something and dont obey but she would tell something else to my husband.

And dont at all allow them to talk to another maid. They will ruin ur maid if yours is good.

I guess regarding phone, i am trying to figure out a good way to tell my maid.
hi just to share
i read some other threads and have found a solution that works for me. i asked my maid whether in her previous employer's place she could help herself freely and she said yes. so i told her that we do things differently in this house. Now whenever I buy soft drinks or green tea etc i will take out a portion for her and tell her that these are hers and she can consume as she wishes . so she knows that she can drink all the cans in a day if she wants but there will be no more until my own supply needs replenising. I got this idea from one of the mummies who wrote about how she portions out even the designer chocs that she buys for herself so that her maid has a few. I thought that was being very generous
I feel better as I think I have a little more control and yet not entirely curbing her freedom.
hmmm... I agree with dseptkon, whenever I buy any puff or bread from breadtalk or buy pastry its always one for me and one for my maid. (husband doesnt eat) even if its chocolates or daily food. so no issues that she is stealing and eating. I guess if we r nice to them they will also nice to us. however certain things will not be under control and may need to tell them differently since you r nice to them, you might feel uncomfortable to scold them or point out their mistake seriously. few things I could figure out how to tell and there is many things still figuring out how to tell without hurting our relation.
I also agree with dseptkon. It's good that you set out a portion for the maid and inform her. I think we should also be frank with them but not to the poibt of hurting their feelings. It's ideal if we have clearly laid out our expectations from them as well as the rules in your house. In this way, the maid will hesitate to do something that is against your rule. In case you catch her doing something which is a violation of your rules, then you should confront her but do it kindly and give her another chance. I guess this is a way for us to control and keep our maids.
i bet its a sign for you to get her new clothes..! If a little tight on the purse, bring her down to salvation army's thrift store! She'll love you for it =)