!...Advice: cheating husband and wants us back...should i forgive him?

[3_kids]

my husband had an affair with his staff..spending money to go hotel with her every few days...and that woman work like his wife...on her own timing, mostly half day or off anytime and he picks her up and have lunch and dinner together and send her home when times up...and in this way...of course the whole office know about it only me who still don't know anything till one year...and he even planed on last year and booked an air ticket during beginning of Sept and flight schld this year Jan to go Bali with her by using the whole company going as a cover up and not intend to bring us at all...see..about four months plan..how to concentrate and do buz?....she's more like his wife than staff.... and the staffs behind all call this woman "lady boss" behind..because everything about the company, she's the one who make the decisions.....this woman has a husband who also is a boss and also had an affair with his account girl..my husband is not her only affair..she sleeps around...mostly boss....and then quit her job when lady boss found out....if she is a decent girl, he will gives up on us and be with her...

He told me when he had his affair, he did not think about what will happen in the end....but he said he never think of giving up us...what is this?..my goodness.....I'm very tire of him....really feel like giving up...it's so difficult to communicate with him...he and his mother thinks the same...what's ever mistake they made...they will only blame on others and never think back, forget it and move on...


I think the only mistake we made is me and him sleep separate rooms ever since my girl was around 3+....she's 8 years old now...he's the one who moved over to another room because he said i complaint the bed to small for three persons and i don't want him to touch me....but again, when that affair happen, we were in good term....but he said that's my own thinking...he thinks our marriage never had good term before....

I did not check his hp...but i always on and off and also always reminded him and tell him not to go for prostitute and not to have affair outside...

his answers was always saying things like " why go prostitute?, without love how to do that?..all my office girl are married,..I'm so busy where go time?...blah..blah to make me trust him till i really trust him...

it's really too much...i don't think he still loves me but he said he still loves me...if so, how can that happen if you love some one?....i become more skinny and lost 6-7 kgs.

He made the girl left by not assign any new project to her...and after i confronted him, i went to his office very often with kids till she can't take it.. in this affair....she made the 1st move......he said their agreement in this affair is if ever either one of the spouse finds out they have to break off..

I chased him out of our house and we are separated now..he can comes and visit us...sleep over here once a week...

kids don't even know he had moved out...

now he's trying to win us back, so he's more willing to spend on us....


He started with his staff around last year May,this woman started to work for him around April, just after one month they started, during that time we have some small issue....due to no maid and he avoid to help up.....and he had a new affair through internet around this year March, and he did contact this girl past two weeks...when i scan through his hp i saw their sms, it was about that woman husband also found out about them and chased her out of the house...and so i asked him did he contact any one of them? ( the two affairs) he said no....and i asked him again and again think before he answered, he said no....and i asked him what's those sms? he then said...just sms, didn't meet up.....my goodness!....i said "do you know the meaning of contact each other?".....he said he was just need some one to talk about i've separated with him....that woman said she's willing to gives up her husband and be with him, he refused...i asked why not? he said because of our kids....he loves them...and so i said...then go find another woman and have kids again....He said he loves me and hate me....

He said he wants us back and ask me to forgive him...i told him, i'm very tire of him as this is not his first time...it happens many years ago...but the past did not last long, coz i found out in very short period...and nothing happen btw them....they only just started.....i told him in order to protect myself and kids...i will want him to sign an agreement in the lawyer's place....agreement about if ever he had another affair again...he has no right to fight for the kids custody and house....and money all go to me....he said he's willing to sign what's ever my terms and agreement...

He said he wants me to help up in his company, money everything i handle...just gives him some pocket money is enough...

But, to be true...the problem is i can't forgive what he did and move on.....and I've lost the trust on him....totally lost....

 

[moorspa7]

Hi,

If you can't forgive yr husband, don't. Instead, he shld be trying to win yr heart if he is really sincere, be it 2 to 5 yrs until you are willing to forgive him.

It seems like he is in need of yr help, that's why he wants to patch back with you. Men shld not be forgiven easily.

 

[3_kids]

I told i want a divorce, he said he will not sign the paper...

He said it's ok to build our relationship slowly...he's ready if ever i bring out the matter and throw temper on him, he'll just keep quiet..

he now has to sleep in his company and there's no sofa there... he said he was stupid that time and didn't think..

I'm really tire of him...why wait till i have to confronted him then admit? and i have hint to him many many times and he deny...

 

[froggie12]

Hi,

Yes, it feels hurt and disappointed to be betrayed, especially someone whom you trusted. I can feel your agony and pain. All these emotional pains makes you hate him and wants to divorce him. But, do not let these thoughts overrun your head. Sit back and think for a minute... do you really want a divorce? At least, when you looked back, this was not an impulse decision.

After reading your post, I think your hubby still wants this marriage and kids. To him, all these are just flings. Inside his heart, he still wants his family. What I think is that the fling is just for him to seek comfort in - sex. Yes, sex is an important part in marriage life. In fact, I've seen sexless marriages that end up in abuse, infidelity and divorce.

He may also feel that there is no sparks in the marriage. So, when someone throws herself onto him, he feels alive again! Apart from this, excitment is another factor. Since he does it without being caught, he feels the excitment. It's like stealing from a shop and not getting caught. You gets bolder each time.

And, as human, we will not put up our hand readily and admit that we made a mistake. We see it everyday, be it in our kids or in the office. Only when we are hit with reality right in the face, then there's no escape...

It is not easy to forgive and forget. I'm not trying to defend your hubby. But, since he still loves you and the kids, why tear this marriage apart? Usually, most of the stray hubbys will leave the wife and kids after they have affair outside. As such, I feel that your marriage still can be saved.

When was the last time both of you went out on a date together? Try to re-light the flame back into your marriage by spening more time together - just the both of you. A short walk to the supermarket without the kids is good enough too.

Remember, a happy marriage takes 2 hands to build...and I know you can do it. Jia you!

 

[3_kids]

Hi,moorspa and froggie, tks for your advise,..

during that period, we were back to our normal sex life, i may be rejected him for few times due to stress...till he got into serious with that woman...everything change...he said no love can't have sex...and so i now asked "so you love her?" he said "no"...then what? he kept quiet..he said that woman is very sweet and always sweet talk to him...caring and everything...

we used to go for mide night show before his affair...when he started to get more serious about that woman...he change in his attitude...he gots angry easily if kids don't behave, we always fight because of this, he said i spoil them..to him, discipline means beat..he didn't want to go out with us at all....during the weekends, only me and kids...he came home late hours, kids get so use without seeing him...now he had moved out...non of them asking about where's papa? as he use to back home late hours, the elder still think he stay with us....and he even asked me to leave him alone...and just pack and leave him anytime if i want(because i use to say that to him)...he said there's no love btw us only responsibility...all these changes made me think that he had an affair...and so i started to check on him...and was quite shock and sure that he must be having one outside, i did not confronted him right away, but to become very nice and sweet to him...till he was wonder why i have such a big change?..and i cont to observe and see...till i see him with no intention to leave any one of them, instead became more closer to one of them...two weeks later, i can't take it any more and so i confronted him...of course he deny, i told him i have evidence, he then admit..

His office affair, peoples who know her know that she use to have affair with boss....she knows which hotel to go and told him how to hide away from me...he will gives up on us if she's a decent girl...

His company is having a big mess in his account due to having too much fun with that woman and didn't concentrate on his biz...he said that woman didn't work properly and mess up his company, and so i asked him "then why you didn't want to break off with her?" he said was trying to find excuse that's why got into another affair through internet...my goodness!..he may have to close down his company...he needs my help and support now...i think that's the main reason to come back to us...

 

[moorspa7]

Hi 3 kids,

Sorry to say this, that is how I felt when I read yr first posting. He is getting back with you cos he needs yr help. He is hving trouble with his company, so he is trying to get back with you which I feel that is his main motive. You need to protect yrself from hurting emotionally again if you want to patch things back with him. I can understand the emotional hurt and pain that you go through cos I was in the same boat.

I am still in the marriage for the kids cos I am a SAHM. No intention to salvage the marriage cos I hv given him 1 yr after the betrayal to see how he is going to make it up to me but I still see the same him, no repentance at all. He is in the marriage cos of the kids and responsibility. This is reality, I hv learnt to accept it so I can hv inner peace. I am so emotionally, mentally and physically tired. I don't hv the energy to patch up with him, and make things work cos I know I would be the only one making the effort. Once bitten, twice shy. Why should I be doing it when he can't even be bothered?

Men are selfish esp when they betrayed their wives. If they are not, they would not hv betrayed their wives in the first place. I hv learnt a major lesson in life, never trust anyone fully. I hv given all my love and trust to a man, made sacrifices, in the end this is what I get in return. A marriage can be salvaged when both parties are willing to work it out. If only 1 party is putting in all the effort, he/she will be hurt badly if the other party doesn't reciprocate. I don't hv the energy to go through that again. Honestly, I can never forgive him til I am dead.

Betrayers will never admit they are in the wrong until they are confronted, if they can deny it, they try their best to deny all the way. They are also full of excuses, they can even blamed it on the wives instead. Stand up and defend yrself, that is what I do and I will never let a betrayer lord over me. Take care.

 

[moorspa7]

If he is really sincere in patching up with you, then you shld test him. Get him to help you out with the kids and housework. Ask him for help, if he is really repentant, he'll not complain. Otherwise, how would you know if he really is sincere in patching up with you?

 

[3_kids]

Hi moorspa, tks for your advice,

He said his account girl is leaving end of this month and so i went down to his company two weeks ago to help up and see...and this account girl did not do her job at all..the account is really a total mess, i'm so angry when ever i think about how can he did not check on his staffs and runs his company this way just becoz he was hving too much fucking fun that time,and during that time, i was always telling him to keep an eye on his staffs, he was losing around 100k due to this, and the company is not making money, his staffs laze around and non of them hit the sales target becuase everybody know he was hving too much fun and have no time to check on them..he paid them high salary, 2.5k, 5k and 6k with company car but non of them work well..i scolded him almost everyday when ever i have to do his account, he kept quiet and let me scold saying sorry and said it was his fault and was stupid to listen to his mistress sweet talk, he said he was regret to listen to her...i told him we are from two very different world and ways of doing things are very different also..we should not waste our time being together again, he may be not happy with me but keep everything inside and didn't voice up..and also i will never forgive him till i die, but he keep quiet and say will not sign the paper..

we have a maid and he comes home around 8+pm so he does not have much time with the kids, kids sleep around 9.30pm..he don't have to do housework but he said will help if we do not have maid..

I still can't forgive him, when ever i see him, the "D" is always in my mind.

 

[moorspa7]

Hi 3 kids,

How long has it been since the last time you known abt his affair? For me, it's coming to a yr and a half. Time does heal all wounds. I am not as depressed or angry as before, when I start to accept my fate. I can either leave, change or accept this marriage. I can't leave cos of my kids, neither can I change it cos the problem lies with husband. If I change, I would be accommodating to him. I can only accept it, it took me such a long time to realize this. Accepting doesn't mean I hv forgiven him cos I will not, and that is my choice. By meditating n knowing that god is always there for me, it gives me inner peace.

I hv searched on the internet n read on betrayals in marriages, how victims cope with the pain and heal. I find this website quite beneficial. http://www.ultimatebetrayal.com/Aftermath.html

Now that u are helping him to clean up the mess that he left behind, it will definitely frustrate you, and you will be thinking of "D" frequently. I was in that stage too, thinking of "D" very frequently. When I just found out abt his betrayal, "D" automatically comes to my mind and I don't want to ever see him again. Our marriage was on the rocks cos of his selfishness and I was already hurt tremendously before the betrayal. I wanted to die cos of the betrayal. I was emotionally, mentally and physically traumatized. Now I am still recovering and I just want inner peace. I am too exhausted after being angry, sad and depressed for so long.

I hv changed to become a stronger person but emotionally not strong enough yet, as I am a soft person at heart. Instead of being angry, I want to convert this negativity to positivity. Otherwise I would be too exhausted to live on. You can be angry buy not too long, cos it can consume you. Yr kids need you so u hv to be strong. Seeing my kids happy as they are with their father, I know I didn't make the wrong choice. It is hard to live with someone you don't trust anymore, but I don't think abt "D" so often anymore cos I hv detached myself from him. Be strong, jia you. I think you are stronger than me, and I feel you are very tolerant of yr husband. Now u hv reached yr limit, u can't stand him anymore. Take a step back, give yourself space to breathe and you won't feel so suffocated. Do take care and you can overcome this obstacle.

 

[moorspa7]

Correction to "You can be angry buy not too long,"

It should be "You can be angry but not too long."

 

[3_kids]

Hi moorspa,

what you said is right, my trust to him is gone and clearing his mess make my feelings to him worst..

TOW worked with him ard April on part time last year and i think they started ard June or July last year and i confronted him on 30 April this year..

I am thinking i will never be happy again staying with him, so why make myself so miserable?

My kids are not close to him, so i don't see the difference whether be with him or without him...he only hugs and kiss them when he comes home from wrok..

Last nite, i told him i want a divorce and ask him to sign the papers, and said he should know the ending when he started it.,He moved to the other room and the next morning, he went out very early to work, i didn't get to see him but maid told me "mdm, sir's eyes are swollen, he looks like crying last nite."

I am really confuse and don't know what to do, to stay with him, i don't feel happy at all..

 

[froggie12]

3 kdis,

In that case, go with your heart. Let your heart lead you. If you are really so miserable with him, then no point hanging there...The ball is in your court now...

 

[moorspa7]

Hi 3 kids,

I understand what you are going though now. Yr wound is still very raw, as you just found out abt his affair this April. Definitely, you won't feel happy at all. Nobody feels happy when they are betrayed, esp for the first yr after finding out abt the betrayal. I found out abt my husband's betrayal last April, for the first 6 mths was hell for me. Like you, I feel I cannot live with him anymore and just wanted to end the marriage. It's normal to hv those emotions when you are very hurt, but you will come out of it.

As you are still confused, it's better to separate from yr husband for the time being. I feel yr love for him is still there but you are very disappointed for the way he hurt you. In order to stop yr pain, it is to divorce him which is a very normal reaction when you are hurt, as yr husband is the source of yr pain. Seeing him not close to yr kids gives you the more reasons to divorce him.

If he were to spend more time with yr kids and you, and he shows real repentance, would you give him a second chance? Right now, you are going through many emotions, hurt, sadness, anger etc. The thought of him cheating on you just makes it impossible to talk to him nicely, isn't it? You will be very angry, but time will heal yr pain as I hv gone through it before just last April. I was surprised how I was able to heal. Right now, you want pple to comfort you and understand yr pain. You are not alone cos I am in the same boat, and there are many others who were betrayed by their husbands. You hv to become a stronger person from this traumatic experience, and you will.

As I feel you are still confused, it's better to clear yr mind and ask what you really want. You hv to think abt what is life going to be like after divorce. If you hv family support, great. If not, it can be quite hard on you as yr emotional and mental health is not at its optimum yet. It would be better to strengthen yrself emotionally and mentally first before you settle for divorce. However, if you are very clear in what you want, and that a divorce will make you and yr children happy, then go for it.

 

[3_kids]

Hi moorspa,

tks for your advise, what you said is really true, that's how i feel..

Now he spend more time with kids and play with them..kids started to be close and look for him..

i will not know whether a divorce will make me and kids happy but i know i'm really not happy to stay with him right now and i have a very good family support, as i have not make up my mind yet, i didn't tell any one of them so they do not know anything yet..

 

[moorspa7]

If staying with him makes you unhappy, get yr husband to stay elsewhere and give you time to calm your mind. Staying separately will help you to calm yr mind, as his presence will agitate you.

It is not easy, til now I still hv mood swings but less frequently. Reason being his actions does not show his repentance which angers me a lot. There are also conflicts in disciplining children etc. When I need a peace of mind, I'll ask him to stay at his parent's place. This helps to calm me a lot n I can choose how long he needs to stay out. The thing abt men is they still take things for granted even though they hv betrayed their spouse.

Are you worried that yr family will interfere if you let them know abt yr husband's betrayal? It is really hard on you to put up a front, if you are able to share with at least one of yr family members or friends, it'll help you to heal faster. Even though my family knows abt it, they didn't empathize with me which makes my healing even slower.

 

[3_kids]

Yes, it is not easy, they really take things for granted, his family can't let him stay, he has no where to go if i ask him to stay out.

He said is his fault but not 100%, and i do have my fault too which i don't agree about this.

I think my family will help me if i let them know about it, but i'm still very confuse what to do next?

 

[ck_teo]

Hi 3 kids, I'm facing the same problem as u. But I don have the courage to leave.
Now I'm no longer the same as past. I put all my hopes on my gals. As for him i think we look more like room mate but in front of his mum or family members we will just be normal. Perhaps that is the best for our gals

 

[rainrainyap]

Dear Yvonne,

I am facing the same problem as you. We are also acting as couple in front of everyone, and we are really room mate. We hardly talk to each other.

 

[moorspa7]

Hi 3 kids,

If u are confused, don't do anything yet till yr emotions are stable. Can yr husband stay at the office? In fact, I feel letting either parents or parents in law know is not a very gd thing unless you know that they are objective and won't take sides(which is very difficult). For my case, both my parents and parents in law knew, but all took my husband's side. I was even being blamed on for such a thing to happen. Imagine how broken I was in listening those hurtful words.

I was very disappointed in my parents cos they never knew the real details of the story even though I told them my current situation which has already worsened. In the past, when I had my elder gal, he helps out in the housework but he has worsened in his character as he became addicted in gambling and the most recent prostitutes(which is last yr). My mum still thinks he helps me out a lot which is already in the past, and she didn't think that I being betrayed by him is a big thing, as he is still providing for the family. I was damaged badly emotionally and mentally, it was hell for me but nobody knows or understand the pain that I go through. Because of this incident, I hv grown apart from my family cos I hv seen their true colours. I was never happy in my own family n this is how they see me, a weakling. What can I do without family support , I can only help myself. At least, I still hv my lovely kids which is a consolation to me.

With the strength of god, I helped myself and I want to love myself more. Through this, I realized I didn't love myself enough. With all the odds against me and no emotional support from family, I managed to come out of this darkness slowly. It cost my health but I am regaining it back slowly. Now I see things in a new perspective as it has toughened me up and I don't care how others see me anymore. I used to be so timid, n I hv become much stronger than before. I really hate myself for being so timid but it is the work of my dad who threatened me so much when I was young.

 

[melissa_toh]

I suspect my husband had an affair. But when I question him he kept denying. He is a very nasty person that it's so difficult to communicate with him. Even if you have evidence, he still will not admit.

My case are quite a few things same as "3 kids mummy", their family only blame on others even thou fault are at them.

I also always on and off reminded him and tell him not to go for prostitute and not to have affair outside.

His answers was always saying same things like why go prostitute? I am not rich and I won't touch such women and a lot of blah blah to make you very sure that he won't try to have an affair.

3 kids mummy, you are lucky that you can chased him out of the house and are separated now. For me, I think I haven't chase him, he already chase me out and somemore I think I will kana a very serious beating from him too.

When we quarrel, I confronted him there is no ONE time that he would admit. Until now he still denying even thou I saw sms and caught him secretly talking over phone and somemore chatting online.

I believe, as a wife, if your husband have or don't have you will have some sense too….! And I always believe in my 6 scents too which are always correct.

He can tell me even have, they are only friend friend. And furthermore he don't have how to admit? During quarreling he still can ensure that and he can say that he will be 101% won't have affair. But when I asked him how about those sms, talking on the phone, sending her home etc..., he can't answer me and said I am finding fault.

I asked him if he still love me and the family(we have 4 childrens) he said YES I love the family and also can say love you if not why I can give birth with you 4 childrens? I am really very puzzle with his "LOVE"

Now I feels very hurt, miserable and disappointed to be betrayed by my husband.

Recently, I realised that he changed in his attitude too and tends to get angry easily if kids don't behave. He feel very reluctant to go out with us at all and always find excuse to stay home. And if he is out himself, he can come home at late hours - 3 to 4, 5 AM.

He never have that attitude at all previously as my husband are those like to run and walk about. Going shopping with us(family). Even when both of us on leave he also won't stay at home, he sure will say we go where and where for a walk or for a shop,even if it is only 2 or 3hrs outing. But now totally different!

Now I feel that there's no love between us and he is only responsibility for the children. Cause he don't want to lose any children to me.

There was once we quarrel very fiercely that he mentioned that he want a divorce but he will not let me have the 4 children. Even if he get 2 children and I get another 2, he will fight till the end to get the other 2 from me. This is why that hold me back from divorcing. All 4 children are my 10 months hard time carrying them to this world and I can't bear even to lose even 1 child. It's like having cut on my heart. And I know if my children were to follow him, they will definately suffer as he always think of himself first and not the family. By then my children will be a useless person when they grow up! I only think I already very scare.

I totally agreed with moorspa7 mummy, "Betrayers will never admit they are in the wrong until they are confronted, if they can deny it, they try their best to deny all the way. They are also full of excuses, they can even blamed it on the wives instead."

I am very confuse now if he really having an affair a not as he keep denying. And by engaging a Private Investigator, it is quite costly and 2K to 3K.

Even if the Private Investigator is cheap at few hundreds dollars only, I also don't mind if I want to divorce as I am afraid all my children goes to him. But the "D" keep reflecting on my mind whenever I see him!

Why it is always use women suffering and not the men!

Is there any women's law that can really help us these helpless women with all the Investigating of husband cheating a wife, if yes, how to handle a divorce and not to lose any children as the whole incident come from the husband and not us women and why after divorce we still have to let our children follow them the Two Dog Men and Women!

 

[froggie12]

Hi Melissa,

From what I know, in most cases, Singapore laws favors women in divorce. If your children are young, usually the court will give the custody to the mother. Don't be intimated by his threats. In fact, it is best if you can get hold of evidence of his wrongdoing. Keep every sms, or if you can, record down every conversation. It does helps in small ways. Hiring PI is another faster way too.

Although I am not in your shoes, but, I can feel your helplessness and painfulness. Be strong for your kids. They need you.

 

[graciie21]

it is really not easy forgiving him because the trust will no longer be there. everything he does in future will raise ur doubt towards him.

you r very affected now. i don think u should commit to any major decision to ur marriage n kids.

ur probably should take time apart from each other. for however long it requires.

for me i took 1.5yrs to see the truth n ultimately i knew i don need him neither does my son needs him.

hope all is doing well for u ..

 

[gilera]

please do not think you need such men.
they obviously do not need you or the children because they already chose to risk you and the children. thats enough said. putting on show for family etc encourages them to stray. your children will grow up thinking its OK.

get out of this shit. your parents did not raise you to be bullied.

 

[linda_ang]

My gf was married since 2009. 21 feb... And last year have there wedding dinner 20-03-11. Yet thing change after all. I feel like a nightmare on. After meet this getai Chen Xiao xin and thing happend a broken married of them. Husband and Xiao xin getai singer was together up to hurt the wife deep deep by there stupid way. Keep sent the wife photo and SMS of them thing to make the wife cannt take it. I understand my gf pain inside her heart. She knw her husband since 2003 for 9 year . Yet treat her this way both of them use to be very close fre and stay in same location of there house. My gf happend her sickness now husband leave her and hurt her this way how a women could take all this by her ownself. She cannt slp and eat worry and scare of all those thing the husband and the Xiao xin wan to do to her. Why must treat my gf this sad way when my gf so in love deep with we husband for 9 year love. Husband beat my gf for more then 6 time up even end in hospital b4. But my gf forgive him few time and stil with him. Yet hurt a 软的女人.. Even my gf chose to be forgive her husband that time when she find up got this Xiao xin . She told alot of fre even infornt of her husband and the women . She stil hope her husband to be back and save the marriage. Husband fre told my gf dnt be silly women this kind of man forget about it not use anymore. How he hurt u we are guy see Liao also not happy. Even the husband knw very well wife love him so much and he stil make way to hurt my gf more deep . When my gf with her husband time her husband is no money de. My gf dnt mind spent with him together all those hard time an nv leave him stil chose to marry him. Together dem those wind wind rain rain time. Then thing change. Husband got money Liao treat her like hell spent his money on the women and buy her lv bag Rolex watch Gucci shoe and go japan holiday. When my gf apply for money in family court husband say no money all this and tt yet stil can bring tt women go Japan holiday . This kind of husband see the way he did to my gf yet stil make her til no way.

 

[magiwaffle]

I might be wrong, but I always believe that if the husband loves his wife, nothing can push him to betray her... Its very sad that there are men like them.

 

[mikki_liew]

maggie, i agree. if U forgive him now, he do it again, are u going to be hurt by him twice

 

[Xhar0205]

I’m a PR and my husband is a Singaporean. Today, i randomly checked his phone and found out that he’s engaging in a ‘massage parlor’. I’m not so sure if he went there already or just booked an appt. I have all the evidence of the time he contact the number and also i found out that the number belongs to a PRC that do those sexual services that can search from the internet. It’s not his first time to do this last time with Thai, Viet etc. We’re having a 2nd child and we’re getting a house next year. I don’t know if i just accept it or separate him. He knows that i know but still acting blur and trying to change the topic to make me the one who’s at fault. What to do? We’re young couple so i feel that it’s better to divorce that stay in this kind of relationship.