A meaningless marriage....
- Thread starter bemybaby
- Start date
sadwife2009
New Member
The TV is on, my son is sleeping, my husband is sleepling.... but i am drowning myself with alcohol.
my marriage, as it turned out, was about the biggest mistake of my life
I have married him, knowing that i do not love him. I have thought to myself that since he loves me so much, i will grow to love him too.
I have had so many suitors, so many envious girlfriends. But i have chosen this guy to marry. I thought he would love me always and will always protect and keep me well. perhaps i was too wishful.
after marriage, things took a terrible turn
it seems he did not really love me that much after all... after the courtship is over, guess all things were different
initially he still try to show his concerns, but as days and years go by, things just got worse
i thought having a baby will make things better
I thought
now, my son is close to 2years old
but my husband is nothing more than a house mate
we share the same house, not the same room
we tell each other stuff only coordination purposes... nothing more
we hardly exchange more than a few sentences each day. i try to console myself and kept telling myself that there are more terrible marriages around. that i should be thankful for all the things i have now
but deep inside me, i am sad, lonely and hope he could pay more attention to me. but each time, i will tell myself that i should not expect, because the more i expect, the worse i will feel. i should be independent. i can live with this, for the sake of my son. i must continue to put up with this meaningless marriage.
well, to be fair. he loves his son. he helps to cook his meals and takes him to walks on weekends.
but to me, he is no longer a husband. he is nothging more than a housemate
when he is back, he will be with his computer. he spends so much time with his notebook, i wonder why i married him in the first place. when i have many stuff to carry, he will not volunteer to help carry. when i try to ask him to help, he will just angrily and loudly say i should ask him nicely to help. perhaps i was a bit agitated that he did not offer at all, hence the not so nice tone when i ask eventually.
small matters become big matters. small matters become triggers to big quarrels. i stop quarrelling with him. because of my son. i just kept quiet. i just kept quiet all the time. bearing with it all.
and then recently, i realised, i can in fact be happy after all. there is someone in the office that is attracted to me. i felt happy because i realised that actually i am attractive still. My husband no longer loves me, i thought it was because i am no longer lovely, no longer attractive.
now, i am contemplating whether to cut loss. we had contemplated divorce, but we had not really made the move.
obviously, the current motivation to divorce him is so that i could start a new life and be able to find happiness again. but i fear that my son will be affected. he is still so young.
what will become of him if i really file for divorce. will he hate me? will he become juvenile deliquent in future? will he be good if he grew in a single parent family? will he be able to understand me, the one who made the move to divorce?
am i too selfish to pursue my happiness? should i just put up with the current state and just keep telling myself that i am indeed very lucky already for all things that i have?
my marriage, as it turned out, was about the biggest mistake of my life
I have married him, knowing that i do not love him. I have thought to myself that since he loves me so much, i will grow to love him too.
I have had so many suitors, so many envious girlfriends. But i have chosen this guy to marry. I thought he would love me always and will always protect and keep me well. perhaps i was too wishful.
after marriage, things took a terrible turn
it seems he did not really love me that much after all... after the courtship is over, guess all things were different
initially he still try to show his concerns, but as days and years go by, things just got worse
i thought having a baby will make things better
I thought
now, my son is close to 2years old
but my husband is nothing more than a house mate
we share the same house, not the same room
we tell each other stuff only coordination purposes... nothing more
we hardly exchange more than a few sentences each day. i try to console myself and kept telling myself that there are more terrible marriages around. that i should be thankful for all the things i have now
but deep inside me, i am sad, lonely and hope he could pay more attention to me. but each time, i will tell myself that i should not expect, because the more i expect, the worse i will feel. i should be independent. i can live with this, for the sake of my son. i must continue to put up with this meaningless marriage.
well, to be fair. he loves his son. he helps to cook his meals and takes him to walks on weekends.
but to me, he is no longer a husband. he is nothging more than a housemate
when he is back, he will be with his computer. he spends so much time with his notebook, i wonder why i married him in the first place. when i have many stuff to carry, he will not volunteer to help carry. when i try to ask him to help, he will just angrily and loudly say i should ask him nicely to help. perhaps i was a bit agitated that he did not offer at all, hence the not so nice tone when i ask eventually.
small matters become big matters. small matters become triggers to big quarrels. i stop quarrelling with him. because of my son. i just kept quiet. i just kept quiet all the time. bearing with it all.
and then recently, i realised, i can in fact be happy after all. there is someone in the office that is attracted to me. i felt happy because i realised that actually i am attractive still. My husband no longer loves me, i thought it was because i am no longer lovely, no longer attractive.
now, i am contemplating whether to cut loss. we had contemplated divorce, but we had not really made the move.
obviously, the current motivation to divorce him is so that i could start a new life and be able to find happiness again. but i fear that my son will be affected. he is still so young.
what will become of him if i really file for divorce. will he hate me? will he become juvenile deliquent in future? will he be good if he grew in a single parent family? will he be able to understand me, the one who made the move to divorce?
am i too selfish to pursue my happiness? should i just put up with the current state and just keep telling myself that i am indeed very lucky already for all things that i have?
sadwife2009,
A divorce will have great impact on the child, even he is small, but he will eventually grow up and realised that he is different. Especially when he see other children with their parent around, he will feel indifferent and may feel inferior and also feel like an object toss around. I know it, because I'm from such family. Weekday with mum, weekend with dad....So think twice of the consequences before any decision.
And btw, why drink so much alcohol in the middle of night? What you try to do? Later wait up late in the morning and have a headache, what for? You can't take proper care on the son and you also smell liquor, your hubby and son dun like it lah.
From your post, you are very concerned on your son. For the sake of him, ignore the new temptation in the office. Focus your marriage and try to work it out with your hubby, i think something can be work between you and hubby, because both love son a lot.
Be happy that your hubby chose to stay home with your son and maybe have to "endured" our "irritated" face sometimes and not spend time elsewhere someone house.
Take care and think over it.
A divorce will have great impact on the child, even he is small, but he will eventually grow up and realised that he is different. Especially when he see other children with their parent around, he will feel indifferent and may feel inferior and also feel like an object toss around. I know it, because I'm from such family. Weekday with mum, weekend with dad....So think twice of the consequences before any decision.
And btw, why drink so much alcohol in the middle of night? What you try to do? Later wait up late in the morning and have a headache, what for? You can't take proper care on the son and you also smell liquor, your hubby and son dun like it lah.
From your post, you are very concerned on your son. For the sake of him, ignore the new temptation in the office. Focus your marriage and try to work it out with your hubby, i think something can be work between you and hubby, because both love son a lot.
Be happy that your hubby chose to stay home with your son and maybe have to "endured" our "irritated" face sometimes and not spend time elsewhere someone house.
Take care and think over it.
sadwife2009
New Member
Merz
Thanks for the advice and the sharing of the your own experience. I will try to work it out with my hubby. Even though i know it is really tough.but for the sake of my son, think it should be worth it.
Thanks for the advice and the sharing of the your own experience. I will try to work it out with my hubby. Even though i know it is really tough.but for the sake of my son, think it should be worth it.
sadwife2009
I am almost in the same predicament as you. I love my husband and 2 children dearly. He also loves our children, but maybe does not love me as much. We hardly quarrel, but cold wars are common. But cold wars are so much destructive than quarrels. He clams up, sometimes for no reason, and gives me the cold shoulder, when I've got no clue what's happening. Just feel that I am unfairly treated in this marriage. We share the same bed, but I feel far apart from him. He is not sensitive to me, when I am feeling sad, he doesn't even attempt to ask me what happened or console me. I feel lonely and helpless.
He keeps things from me. He locks his insurance plans in drawers, he keeps a safe, and now, he has locked his handphone with a password. Tell me, what am I to him?
He treats everything and everyone else better. Maybe I shouldn't have been his wife. If not for my 2 children, I am sure we are divorced already.
I am almost in the same predicament as you. I love my husband and 2 children dearly. He also loves our children, but maybe does not love me as much. We hardly quarrel, but cold wars are common. But cold wars are so much destructive than quarrels. He clams up, sometimes for no reason, and gives me the cold shoulder, when I've got no clue what's happening. Just feel that I am unfairly treated in this marriage. We share the same bed, but I feel far apart from him. He is not sensitive to me, when I am feeling sad, he doesn't even attempt to ask me what happened or console me. I feel lonely and helpless.
He keeps things from me. He locks his insurance plans in drawers, he keeps a safe, and now, he has locked his handphone with a password. Tell me, what am I to him?
He treats everything and everyone else better. Maybe I shouldn't have been his wife. If not for my 2 children, I am sure we are divorced already.
sadwife2009
I am almost in the same predicament as you. I love my husband and 2 children dearly. He also loves our children, but maybe does not love me as much. We hardly quarrel, but cold wars are common. But cold wars are so much destructive than quarrels. He clams up, sometimes for no reason, and gives me the cold shoulder, when I've got no clue what's happening. Just feel that I am unfairly treated in this marriage. We share the same bed, but I feel far apart from him. He is not sensitive to me, when I am feeling sad, he doesn't even attempt to ask me what happened or console me. I feel lonely and helpless.
He keeps things from me. He locks his insurance plans in drawers, he keeps a safe, and now, he has locked his handphone with a password. Tell me, what am I to him?
He treats everything and everyone else better. Maybe I shouldn't have been his wife. If not for my 2 children, I am sure we are divorced already.
I am almost in the same predicament as you. I love my husband and 2 children dearly. He also loves our children, but maybe does not love me as much. We hardly quarrel, but cold wars are common. But cold wars are so much destructive than quarrels. He clams up, sometimes for no reason, and gives me the cold shoulder, when I've got no clue what's happening. Just feel that I am unfairly treated in this marriage. We share the same bed, but I feel far apart from him. He is not sensitive to me, when I am feeling sad, he doesn't even attempt to ask me what happened or console me. I feel lonely and helpless.
He keeps things from me. He locks his insurance plans in drawers, he keeps a safe, and now, he has locked his handphone with a password. Tell me, what am I to him?
He treats everything and everyone else better. Maybe I shouldn't have been his wife. If not for my 2 children, I am sure we are divorced already.
Yoplait,
What you are going through, is what I'm going through right now. Though mine started only recently. Last Friday, he will still call me and ask me in a voice like a little puppy, 'Why didn't you call me today?'..... after that, at night, he simply called me and said he wishes to go out. And hang the phone.
Saturday night, he never came back. Telling me that he had some beer and he can't drive. So, he'll drive somewhere and sleep out his alcohol. Came back only 7am in the morning.
Sunday night, after sending us home from a family outing, he went out for coffee with his friend again. Came back only at 1am.
Monday night, went out again, then smsed me telling me he's going to Bangkok. Without me. But going with his friend. Came back 1.30am.
Yesterday night, came back after work. Showered and changed. Then, took his car key and went out. Told me he's going for dinner.
I don't know what is going on. I'm lost.
What you are going through, is what I'm going through right now. Though mine started only recently. Last Friday, he will still call me and ask me in a voice like a little puppy, 'Why didn't you call me today?'..... after that, at night, he simply called me and said he wishes to go out. And hang the phone.
Saturday night, he never came back. Telling me that he had some beer and he can't drive. So, he'll drive somewhere and sleep out his alcohol. Came back only 7am in the morning.
Sunday night, after sending us home from a family outing, he went out for coffee with his friend again. Came back only at 1am.
Monday night, went out again, then smsed me telling me he's going to Bangkok. Without me. But going with his friend. Came back 1.30am.
Yesterday night, came back after work. Showered and changed. Then, took his car key and went out. Told me he's going for dinner.
I don't know what is going on. I'm lost.
wendy_reborn
Active Member
i think there is something wrong. He might be having a 3rd party
sharon_ang
Member
if a marriage is meaningless, why keep it? plan for your future and move on.
angelneo
My hubby n i have reconciled already. We had to exchange emails to trash out cos we were not on talking terms. But i dunno when his volcano will erupt again. It has erupted so many times in our 4 years of marriage. Sometimes i just feel so tired.
I know what u mean by feeling lost....it's like u dun even know when or how u stepped on his toes right? but, spending the nite out is definitely fishy and unhealthy. Do u have children? If u do, get yr children to ask him where he went to to make him feel the guilt.
My hubby n i have reconciled already. We had to exchange emails to trash out cos we were not on talking terms. But i dunno when his volcano will erupt again. It has erupted so many times in our 4 years of marriage. Sometimes i just feel so tired.
I know what u mean by feeling lost....it's like u dun even know when or how u stepped on his toes right? but, spending the nite out is definitely fishy and unhealthy. Do u have children? If u do, get yr children to ask him where he went to to make him feel the guilt.
wendy_reborn
Active Member
yes, it very tiring to keep on suspecting
dailyfarm77
New Member
Hi all mummies...all I want to say is, Live for Yourself!
If he loves you, dotes on you, yes, by all means love him wholeheartly. But should he turn his back on you already...this IS the time when you should really be strong and ask yourself what you really want in your life.
Start living for yourself! Get your own life.
It won't be easy BUT if u never try walking out of your shadow...you will never see the rainbow.
Woman are simple...all we want is happiness. But happiness comes in many forms, & it might not neccessary comes from men you know. A chat like this online with 'stranger' mummies like us can be happy & comforting too. Engage yourself in activities from clubs or CC. Earn your own penny, buy nice clothes & treat yourself to a good meal can be simple happiness. It really need not come from men.
Think about it...it's your life ;D
If he loves you, dotes on you, yes, by all means love him wholeheartly. But should he turn his back on you already...this IS the time when you should really be strong and ask yourself what you really want in your life.
Start living for yourself! Get your own life.
It won't be easy BUT if u never try walking out of your shadow...you will never see the rainbow.
Woman are simple...all we want is happiness. But happiness comes in many forms, & it might not neccessary comes from men you know. A chat like this online with 'stranger' mummies like us can be happy & comforting too. Engage yourself in activities from clubs or CC. Earn your own penny, buy nice clothes & treat yourself to a good meal can be simple happiness. It really need not come from men.
Think about it...it's your life ;D
Yoplait,
Things are brighter between me and my husband already. Things changed for the better on the night my MIL came back from her holiday in China. I still remember on that day is 16/10/09. My MIL's flight back from Macau reaches Singapore only at 1.55am. I had expected him to call me from work and tell me that he'll work till very late, then he'll go for coffee with his friend then will meet me at the airport.
(At that moment, we are driving 2 vehicles. 1 belong to my BIL whom had gone for the holiday with my MIL.)
But, he surprised me by coming home early at 8pm. Had dinner at home. But again, he went out at 11pm. Told me that we'll meet at Airport again.
However, right after my MIL is home, his late nights seemed to have stopped immediately. One thing I know is, he is afraid of his mother. My MIL got to know about my hubby's misbehavior through my FIL and I know she had a long talk with him when I was asleep in the room.
However, after that episode, I don't dare to hold further expectation between the both of us. Other than continuing to perform wife duty responsibily.... I don't wanna hold high hopes and expectations anymore. I know, I am feeling happier, and lesser load on myself. By not emotionally depending on him anymore. I'd learnt to doll up myself. I'd learnt to spend more on myself....... Like you, I am so tired.... cos this episode repeats itself once every 2 yrs.
Things are brighter between me and my husband already. Things changed for the better on the night my MIL came back from her holiday in China. I still remember on that day is 16/10/09. My MIL's flight back from Macau reaches Singapore only at 1.55am. I had expected him to call me from work and tell me that he'll work till very late, then he'll go for coffee with his friend then will meet me at the airport.
(At that moment, we are driving 2 vehicles. 1 belong to my BIL whom had gone for the holiday with my MIL.)
But, he surprised me by coming home early at 8pm. Had dinner at home. But again, he went out at 11pm. Told me that we'll meet at Airport again.
However, right after my MIL is home, his late nights seemed to have stopped immediately. One thing I know is, he is afraid of his mother. My MIL got to know about my hubby's misbehavior through my FIL and I know she had a long talk with him when I was asleep in the room.
However, after that episode, I don't dare to hold further expectation between the both of us. Other than continuing to perform wife duty responsibily.... I don't wanna hold high hopes and expectations anymore. I know, I am feeling happier, and lesser load on myself. By not emotionally depending on him anymore. I'd learnt to doll up myself. I'd learnt to spend more on myself....... Like you, I am so tired.... cos this episode repeats itself once every 2 yrs.
sadwife2009
New Member
its true, happiness should not come from your husband.
guess sometimes we just want to be supported emotionally. when we are emotionally down especially, we want to know that someone cares of us deeply in this world.
guess, in my current state, i will try to live my life without this emotional support from husband. my friends are excellent support to me. they are around when i m down. they listen to my sorrows and my heartaches.
there is no doubt who im closer with right now, friends or husband. i have wonderful colleagues and friends around me.
guess sometimes we just want to be supported emotionally. when we are emotionally down especially, we want to know that someone cares of us deeply in this world.
guess, in my current state, i will try to live my life without this emotional support from husband. my friends are excellent support to me. they are around when i m down. they listen to my sorrows and my heartaches.
there is no doubt who im closer with right now, friends or husband. i have wonderful colleagues and friends around me.
seems like most of the man are like that, they always put themselves first, followed by children, wives will be last.
my hubby is like king of the house, i always talk to him in a submissive tone, but he would like voiced out his likes and dislikes on my face without even knowing that it's hurting. i've married him for almost ten yrs already but only attended my mom's side reunion dinner last yr, after my FIL had passed away (my MIL passed away 3 yrs back) Since i married him, he already made it very clear that i'm not suppose to go back to my mom's place for reunion dinner cos the mother said so. Every yr, my mom and brother would still invite us and i would turned them down, feeling very bad that i couldn't had reunion dinner with my own mother. Last yr, my FIL is no longer around, i insisted that we go to my mom's place for the dinner, he was quite unwilling at first cos he still have a unmarried sis, no end right? first parents, then sis, how many yrs do i have to wait? by the time, the sis gone leow, i don't think my mom is around anymore !!! I was very persistent and told him that if he is not interested, then i'll go with my elder son. finally he gave in. recently, i mentioned abt the coming reunion dinner, and he acted blur again, sigh........... he seems don't like my family members, everything, it's his family 1st, i'm like nothing, can't even compared to his precious sis.
he don't touch, hug or cuddled me at all, we're just like 2 strangers sleeping on the same bed. when i was pregnant with no.2, he only touched my tummy and talked to my bb, but still no hugs and cuddles fr him. initial few yrs of marriage, i've tried telling him that i need more attention, but he always gave excuses, i gave up now, no longer talk abt it anymore. I'm feeling very sad and disheartened in my marriage, feel like walking out the family but can't bear to part with my children, and have no where to go. i really like a nobody with no self-worth in the family, i'm just a maid to look after the kids, cook and clean the house.
my hubby is like king of the house, i always talk to him in a submissive tone, but he would like voiced out his likes and dislikes on my face without even knowing that it's hurting. i've married him for almost ten yrs already but only attended my mom's side reunion dinner last yr, after my FIL had passed away (my MIL passed away 3 yrs back) Since i married him, he already made it very clear that i'm not suppose to go back to my mom's place for reunion dinner cos the mother said so. Every yr, my mom and brother would still invite us and i would turned them down, feeling very bad that i couldn't had reunion dinner with my own mother. Last yr, my FIL is no longer around, i insisted that we go to my mom's place for the dinner, he was quite unwilling at first cos he still have a unmarried sis, no end right? first parents, then sis, how many yrs do i have to wait? by the time, the sis gone leow, i don't think my mom is around anymore !!! I was very persistent and told him that if he is not interested, then i'll go with my elder son. finally he gave in. recently, i mentioned abt the coming reunion dinner, and he acted blur again, sigh........... he seems don't like my family members, everything, it's his family 1st, i'm like nothing, can't even compared to his precious sis.
he don't touch, hug or cuddled me at all, we're just like 2 strangers sleeping on the same bed. when i was pregnant with no.2, he only touched my tummy and talked to my bb, but still no hugs and cuddles fr him. initial few yrs of marriage, i've tried telling him that i need more attention, but he always gave excuses, i gave up now, no longer talk abt it anymore. I'm feeling very sad and disheartened in my marriage, feel like walking out the family but can't bear to part with my children, and have no where to go. i really like a nobody with no self-worth in the family, i'm just a maid to look after the kids, cook and clean the house.
Hi all,
I'm a newbie here this my first post here. get to know this forum by sis. I know most of them here have problem with their hubby. But do you know that guy also face problem with the
their wife? I dunno why I'm here to say all this. I dunno why she keep asking me to divorce with her. really dun stand. keep saying i'm wasteher time being with her.
I'm a newbie here this my first post here. get to know this forum by sis. I know most of them here have problem with their hubby. But do you know that guy also face problem with the
their wife? I dunno why I'm here to say all this. I dunno why she keep asking me to divorce with her. really dun stand. keep saying i'm wasteher time being with her.
tanlengleng
Active Member
Dear Eric,
are you & your wife really young?
Why did you get married in the first place?
Love, shot-gun, HDB flat, peer pressure?
are you & your wife really young?
Why did you get married in the first place?
Love, shot-gun, HDB flat, peer pressure?
tanlengleng
Active Member
Dear Eric,
1. You can just walk out of it
2. You can work on it
3. Both of you can work on it, find a counseller
If you leave, what about the child?
Is she pregnant now, or how old is your child?
1. You can just walk out of it
2. You can work on it
3. Both of you can work on it, find a counseller
If you leave, what about the child?
Is she pregnant now, or how old is your child?
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi Eric,
is she working?
Poor? Then WORK ON IT!!! Find a better job!
Sex is important, love is important too,
NO BREAD can die one leh...
is she working?
Poor? Then WORK ON IT!!! Find a better job!
Sex is important, love is important too,
NO BREAD can die one leh...
tanlengleng
Active Member
Dear Eric,
you are a daddy now,
it's not just sex, sleep & more sex anymore,
then what ask your parents for allowance? NO!
If you are going to be a responsible husband & father...
Get a sheet of paper, a pen & sit down,
write down all your fix liablity/expenditures per month;
1. Food
2. Marketing
3. Insurance
4. Transport
5. Utility bills
6. Allowance for your parents/wife
7. etc etc etc...
Coming up may be child care school fees,
then your dear wife can go to work.
If there's extra, then think of romantic dinner, flowers, presents, ...
THAT IS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU NEED TO EARN A MONTH!
I'm sorry, this is a pratical world,
if you can't give her any assurance or sence of security,
I'm sure she's afraid of getting pregnant again.
you are a daddy now,
it's not just sex, sleep & more sex anymore,
then what ask your parents for allowance? NO!
If you are going to be a responsible husband & father...
Get a sheet of paper, a pen & sit down,
write down all your fix liablity/expenditures per month;
1. Food
2. Marketing
3. Insurance
4. Transport
5. Utility bills
6. Allowance for your parents/wife
7. etc etc etc...
Coming up may be child care school fees,
then your dear wife can go to work.
If there's extra, then think of romantic dinner, flowers, presents, ...
THAT IS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU NEED TO EARN A MONTH!
I'm sorry, this is a pratical world,
if you can't give her any assurance or sence of security,
I'm sure she's afraid of getting pregnant again.
tanlengleng
Active Member
Why are you finding a PT job?
What about full time job?
What about full time job?
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi Eric,
the little problem here now may be communication,
getting a PT job to work at night...
To avoid her or to bring back more money?
If the reason is to bring back more money,
then it's positive, you should discuss with her.
If to avoid her, it's not encourage.
She may be real bored at home,
facing the little one, can't go out.
Rem the time during courtship, she has all the freedom?
Your pretty girlfriend without flabby tummy?
Talk to her, get someone to help look after the little one,
bring her out, movie, dinner, shopping...
Last but not least, ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS! What she want to do, work or be a stay-at-home-mum like now...
Pamper her once a while, you should get what you need.
the little problem here now may be communication,
getting a PT job to work at night...
To avoid her or to bring back more money?
If the reason is to bring back more money,
then it's positive, you should discuss with her.
If to avoid her, it's not encourage.
She may be real bored at home,
facing the little one, can't go out.
Rem the time during courtship, she has all the freedom?
Your pretty girlfriend without flabby tummy?
Talk to her, get someone to help look after the little one,
bring her out, movie, dinner, shopping...
Last but not least, ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS! What she want to do, work or be a stay-at-home-mum like now...
Pamper her once a while, you should get what you need.
tanlengleng
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">keep blaming her I bring her to the stage</font>
In a way... she's not totally wrong, but it needs 2 hands to clap.
Pre-marital sex, leads to unplanned pregnancy,
forced to marry you, now stay at home to look after the little one...
There are still other solutions;
does she want to go out to work,
does she want to stay at home without the kid,
does she want to go for further studies?
You don't know? Not Sure? Then ask her.
The little one is old enough to go childcare already,
alternatively, can one of your parents look after,
or get a nanny, or a maid?
Jia You,
giving up is easy, it's the going-on that's tough & challenging,
are you tough & responsible enough to take it up?
In a way... she's not totally wrong, but it needs 2 hands to clap.
Pre-marital sex, leads to unplanned pregnancy,
forced to marry you, now stay at home to look after the little one...
There are still other solutions;
does she want to go out to work,
does she want to stay at home without the kid,
does she want to go for further studies?
You don't know? Not Sure? Then ask her.
The little one is old enough to go childcare already,
alternatively, can one of your parents look after,
or get a nanny, or a maid?
Jia You,
giving up is easy, it's the going-on that's tough & challenging,
are you tough & responsible enough to take it up?
Hi!
I heard and found many marriages ended like Sadwife2009 and Eric's. I learn that having a marriage life is like tighting one of your leg and one of your spouse's together with a rope. Need to speed up, speed down or stop to balance your steps to walk properly to your goal to succeed your marriage life. Otherwise, you both will fall down. From the first time I told my hubby that he's not only my husband but my lifetime partner. I will cooperate and need him to cooperate to succeed our marriage. Agree with Tan Leng Leng that COMMUNICATION is important and many times I found it is the MOST DIFFICULT things to do. Once I read "MEN FROM MARS, WOMEN FROM VENUS" It's a good good book that might help..try to read one..^.^
I heard and found many marriages ended like Sadwife2009 and Eric's. I learn that having a marriage life is like tighting one of your leg and one of your spouse's together with a rope. Need to speed up, speed down or stop to balance your steps to walk properly to your goal to succeed your marriage life. Otherwise, you both will fall down. From the first time I told my hubby that he's not only my husband but my lifetime partner. I will cooperate and need him to cooperate to succeed our marriage. Agree with Tan Leng Leng that COMMUNICATION is important and many times I found it is the MOST DIFFICULT things to do. Once I read "MEN FROM MARS, WOMEN FROM VENUS" It's a good good book that might help..try to read one..^.^
Leng Leng,
"Jia You,
giving up is easy, it's the going-on that's tough & challenging,
are you tough & responsible enough to take it up? "
You are my idol!!
You are very experience in handle problems between Husband and wife, MIL and DIL.
Btw, are you a counsellor?
Eric,
Dun give up! Solve the problems and you will see the rainbow just in front of you!
Gampateh!!
"Jia You,
giving up is easy, it's the going-on that's tough & challenging,
are you tough & responsible enough to take it up? "
You are my idol!!
You are very experience in handle problems between Husband and wife, MIL and DIL.
Btw, are you a counsellor?
Eric,
Dun give up! Solve the problems and you will see the rainbow just in front of you!
Gampateh!!
tanlengleng
Active Member
Hi Dong,
unfortunately I'm not a counsellor,
I learn from my elders & friends,
there's a saying
<font color="0000ff">learn from others experience, cause we'll never live that long to experience everything</font>
I have fractions at home too,
no home is perfect without a little argurments once a while,
without argurment, it may mean, no one cares.
Have to praise my hubby for what I am today.
unfortunately I'm not a counsellor,
I learn from my elders & friends,
there's a saying
<font color="0000ff">learn from others experience, cause we'll never live that long to experience everything</font>
I have fractions at home too,
no home is perfect without a little argurments once a while,
without argurment, it may mean, no one cares.
Have to praise my hubby for what I am today.
zpqi7
Well-Known Member
what about this?
hubby lives apart from you, give you $100 per month for allowence, weekends came at 6pm leave at 10:30pm, have 2 kids, one taking care of each kid. baby does not recognise him, MIL dont even bother to visit you during delivery/ confinement? When you discharge to go home, your hubby and your MIL went JB for relative wedding dinner?
Son at their place, never teach him anything at all, let him run about everyday, brother in law walk around the house never wear any shirt.
Hubby does not call/talk to you except till weekends, and weekends he stay few hours then gonez.
hubby lives apart from you, give you $100 per month for allowence, weekends came at 6pm leave at 10:30pm, have 2 kids, one taking care of each kid. baby does not recognise him, MIL dont even bother to visit you during delivery/ confinement? When you discharge to go home, your hubby and your MIL went JB for relative wedding dinner?
Son at their place, never teach him anything at all, let him run about everyday, brother in law walk around the house never wear any shirt.
Hubby does not call/talk to you except till weekends, and weekends he stay few hours then gonez.
jackprolinear
New Member
Wow....Ok I better go and hug and kiss my wife
From a guy's side...you need to tell your husbands directly what you want or what is missing. And 1 time is not enough...you should try to tell him as many times as possible and then it would sink in...hopefully.
From a guy's side...you need to tell your husbands directly what you want or what is missing. And 1 time is not enough...you should try to tell him as many times as possible and then it would sink in...hopefully.
tanlengleng
Active Member
jackprolinear,
in men's point of view,
won't telling many times becomes naggy?
in men's point of view,
won't telling many times becomes naggy?
jackprolinear
New Member
Of course you do not tell him everyday or whenever he sits down, etc....then it becomes naggy.
You can tell him when you are out holding his hand or when you have some quite time or maybe when there is something romantic on TV, etc.
You can tell him when you are out holding his hand or when you have some quite time or maybe when there is something romantic on TV, etc.
tanlengleng
Active Member
haha...
do you do what you say?
do you do what you say?
jackprolinear
New Member
Hmmmm....sometimes....as I make sure my DW knows if something is bothering me in our relationship. But end of the day I probably know the answer...and it is due to my son that sleeps with us on the same bed.
tanlengleng
Active Member
Get him out,
else there's won't be #2.
else there's won't be #2.
jackprolinear
New Member
Actually he is No 2
No.1 is sleeping in her own room.
No.1 is sleeping in her own room.