(2011/05) May 2011

seems like we all got mil probs... arrugh...



Last time I very good to her (before marriage).. she was a RC member and organised lots of events.. her son dun like to go... in order to support her, i made my hubby to go and support her... she accidentally cut her hand (quite deep) and we took her to A&E... i even took her to toilet to wash up her wound (all those blood fr her hands)... her daughter knows that she cut her hand but din come to hospital.. sat w her till her turn while my hubby and fil watched tv at the lobby...waited from 6pm+ till 10pm+ and sent her back... so good to her and yet in the end she bad mouth abt me.. even to the extend that my sister full mth celebration, she told her mil that her dil din even produced an egg.. so mean of her.. my mum comes to know of it and is so sad... from then on, i hardly talk to her... nowadays, when i saw them, i dun address them and if my hubby not at home, they din said that they want to comes in (sometimes they went to buy bread and wants to pass to my hubby for breakfast), i won't open the door and just take the stuff and said bye bye.. my mum told me not to do that but i dun listen... the worst is that the whole blk knows that i'm nasty bcos she went ard telling them that i dun want to stay w her and dun want her to do confinement as i dun like her cooked food.. my downstairs old folks neighbours came and asked me why i dun want to stay w them... can't believe it...at first we thought of staying together after we completed our family planning... now fat hope... so nice to her and in the end, she went ard telling tales abt me... so disappointed in her.. my fil at first sided me but now at her side.. sigh...

 


Auroa

You are so poor thing leh. Wat u had said also reminded of myself. Haz, sometimes I wonder issit we really so unlucky or what. I used to treat her very good too before married. Sometimes, weekend we pak tor, I even asked to bring her along to eat good food. Now come to think of it, its really v stupid of me. The best part is she does not like me; she even show black face to my mom and didnt answer my mom when my mom greeted her during my boy's 1st year birthday. Nvm de lor. I will wait and see her get her own desserts. I still greet her but only greet nia and stop there. My FIL used to side her but now seems like know she is lying all these while. However, I do not believe FIL as Im quite skeptical towards them. I had been hurt by them before not once but many times, and kena "cheated" and tua and even fell into their trap cos they pretend to be nice to me during one of the years when we already actually fell out. I will not believe them anymore. Whatever they say and do, even if FIL tried to be a little bit nice to me, I will only act along. But only act. To MIL, I cannot. I greet her, I also dun look at her. I give a buay song face. Hahahahaaa...

 
2ww

Haz, he wont de la. So long I dun complain to him anymore. He didnt hear complaint from 3rd party (from FIL; as MIL will complain to FIL about me). He will shut down his brain de lor and dun care de. Unless really critical, he will try to wash my brain and tell me to bo chap them. He very kiang de lor.

 
vv, even the maid agency also said that maid working at my home is super "eng", coz only 3 paxs incl my girl. Sometimes we eat out, so cooking is min.



Auroa, my maid steal $1 coins from my girl's coin bank and my hb got a coin box with mixture of coins she also taken fr there! That's how she landed at public phone making phone calls to indon and HK to her sis. Her intention is to go HK, but due to fresh & low edu(poor english), she has to come to SG as stepping stone.

Last thing I can't tolerate is bcoz she is seeing bangla..if I don't send her off, my hse will become havoc somedays with hanky panky stuff going on!!

 
To mums who are considering getting a confinement nanny, based on feedback from quite a few friends, CLs from PEM confinement are generally good.

 
apple,

If the maid is thief, then cannot keep liao. Haz. She really has the nerve to take coins and make calls hor. But lucky she not that smart to use your house phone to call. My previous maid asked her sis to call my house from overseas. Then also, she stole my old HP and buy Prepaid Sim card to put in to call. One day when I came back half day, I caught her. I still gv her chance. Haz. At then lah. Really regret. Such maids cannot keep de. Yes, lucky u sent her back. Otherwise, yr house will be in a "mess" and not clean liao.

 
penny,



Only vibrator la..Haha..my hubby went amsterdam.also bought massage oil which I have allergy.. Dunno y felt itchy after applying..



I intro job to my mil in my ex com..kept complaining e job is tough.. I was like..u r only pri sch educated, somemore want office hour n no weekend..



I saved her life before which I think she should have forgotten liao..without mi, she will not b here lor.. Wang en fu yi.. She got choked with orange..i helped her lor... Learnt first aid b4..



I nv bring this issue up..dun be kuai lan to mi.. I m not easily pushover..hee..



Always like to interfere where I go..look like caring..to mi is restricting lor..



Always like to call my hubby at 3 or 4am to noe his whereabout where we go out..so worry he will gone Missing..we r not around or at home..worry this n that..

 
Morning Mummies!



Serene,

Can see you are very good to your MIL in the past. Haz... dunno why hor, seems like we all used to be nice to them but they dunno how to appreciate lor... Like you say, better dun push their luck too far and be kuai lan.. Otherwise, I think we wont tolerate de lor.

 
i'm getting dizzy spells but can't rest as need to rush out orders for this week... arrugh..

 
Auroa

Relax and dun over-work.. I also work until so pek chek just now that I scolded customers... :-(

 
my MS is subsiding . vomit less now. at least can retain my meals. lost abt 2kg



but getting worried. baby ok or not? know i worry too much. but i have read stories that baby die inside the womb and mummy not aware.



My next check up is 1mth's time when i go thru OSCAR in 3week in Oct. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Christine

Dun worry so much. I can understand your concern. When I had #1, I had the same worry. Now #2, same worry comes too. My MS still the same, I have mood swings to make things worse.. And no mood for almost everything. Haz. My next check up also around the same time - 22Oct for the same test too. How many weeks are you liao?

 
vv, thanks... actually it's my biz... it's a last min order and not nice to reject lor... got to make a living otherwise where got $$ for no 2.. ;)... u take care too... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



christine, i share yr concerns... that's what happen to my 1st preg.... gynae that time told me that it's the nature ... if the bb is not healthy, the body will "reject"... i guess there's nothing we can do except to eat healthy and be happy... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
9weeks now.



just to share w u some one's story.



This lady was due soon. her gynae was on leave so refer her to see another gynae. at the v last stage, the relief gynae didn't detect the waterbag leak. mummy also not aware. by the time detected, baby already infected.



baby died within days of delivery.

 
christine, it's a smilar story to my friend.. she's got twins... gynae told her to induce at a later date and to find out that he went for holiday. When gynae's back fr holiday, my friend went to see him for normal medical check up and to discover tat 1 of the twin had no heartbeat(my friend said tat the twin kicked her yesterday and it's the last kick) and hve to deliver immediately....

 
vv, when I caught her stealing, she denied and told me that was my previous maid taken not her! She think I so naive and believe her, so I immediately take up my hp and call my ex-maid. She shocked and panic haha

Well, my ex-maid has been with me for 4.5yrs, she has nvr steal $$ from us. Till the day she is leaving, she ask me to pack her stuffs.



Due to maid, I subcribe the non-listing home line. So even she made a call out, 3rd party will not know our home #. Also, I'm using those Cisco conferencing phone where I can keep track of incoming & outgoing phone calls up to 20 calls each. There is no way she can use my house phone. I program those important contact # for her and my girl to contact us with just speed dial. Incoming calls without our name are not allow to pick up. When we are home, we will check those missed calls and so on..



I have no hesitation to send her off immediately on Mon when I caught her stealing & went out meeting bangla. When I realised at work, I just pick up my bag and head home straight! Take her back to agency then I went home slowly pack her stuffs. I didn't tell her that I sack her on the spot..hehe

 
http://picasaweb.google.com/107435811188765719302/MummyBabyStuffs#

dear mtbs, sorry to disturb again. have added many new items. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

i've alr delivered my gal & looking to clear the abv items. hope mtbs can find them of interest to u.



pls refer to abv link for related pics & descriptions. all items are described to the best of my knowledge. items u see in the provided link are all up for grabs (except for those that have been RESERVED), items once SOLD will be removed from the link.



if keen, pls SMS to 96495528 for fast deal. pls do NOT leave PM or postings in the forum as i'm unable to keep track of them. calls from unknown nos. will not be entertained.



here's wishing all mtbs a safe & happy pregnancy!

 
Hi Penny, tks for sharting the link, so helpful when i'm considering getting a maid in a few mths time.....hopefully i can get 1 problem free de since i only need a maid for the 1st 2 yrs to help out....her main priority is hsework and my PIL will take care of bbs....



RE: MILS

althou my MIL n I had tat conflict during my confinement, both of us are not using that as a barrier to our communication....yes i can forgive but never forget....i can never move to a pt where we can really be close....



i was 2 mths preggy on the day we hold our customary marriage. knowing that trying for a bb might nt b tat easy, we start the planning n trying early. while we are all delighted and break the good news to my MIL ~2 weeks before the wedding, i was so shocked at her attitude. I'll never forget. tot she'll be happy since it will b her 1st grandchild n she has been telling my hubby to buck up to try for a bb after we get married as she is still strong enuff to help us see the bb.



Her face immed turn to no smiles n black black give me see upon receiving the news! WTF! she was angry at me (n not my hubby i suppose) and didnt bother to talk much to me ( i oso hack care!).....she even say don know i can hold the joss sticks to pray the ancestors on the wedding day or not.....! seow!



she don even dare tell anyone i'm preggy for scare of lose face......."1st preggy then marry"....

took her quite many mths to turn to another person, later stage when she knew its a boy.....wow.....ask me eat her bird nest.....i say i oso got buy (i already started boiling for myself, don intend to rely on her to boil for me)...tell me hers is geniune bird nest, many fake ones outside, don know if mine is fake. tell me where she buy from and ask me, i say same shop as her then she LL. in fact the best nest is from my mom i oso don dare to say.



wanna buy bb items like cloth diaper too....tell us she will buy herself, outside de all rough rough nt gd for bb skin, she knows where to buy super soft de....end up she go mothercare buy the expensive ones, come back oso rough rough de! making fun out of herself.....



weeks be4 birth keep pestering my hubby n i to stay at her place....so that she can look after me.....!!! don need her to b tat good!



really angry with her at those moments. always thinks hers is the best....



sometimes i think its really her retribution! every since from birth, my boy don like her as compared to his YE YE. he don like her to carry etc, n will only stick to ye ye. only ye ye can carry.



my MIL is so stubborn that no one can talk her thru...but only this grandson can curb her....only my boy gets to be arrognant to her n can say no n she ok ok ok .... even my hubby finds it hard to reject her sometimes....



funny rite....

 
actually i think mils also have their retribution... my sils 2 children (1 boy & 1 girl) both dun like my mils. She tried to carry them when they are young and they will refuse and cried so hard. Even now, my nephew will push her away if she try to hug him.



My girl also refused till i said ok. My girl will look at me first if they offered/gave her things before she dares to accept. IF mummy said no, she will return to them and will refuse to accept. I'm glad that my girl listens to me. Sometimes my mil will tell my girl why she dun finish her meals.. must be food that mummy cook not nice. Last week when having dinner at my mil place, my girl dun want to eat her rice and only wants soup. So i told her loudly.. why dun eat.. not nice, is it? my mil said it was be that the food not cut in small pieces and can't be not nice.. cut too small, my mil said then how's she going to learn how to chew... can't stand her... once she put fish in my nephew bowl and he chocked bcos of the fish bones.. immediately she's so scared and didn't dare to speak up... my bil asked his son why he took the fish w/o asking.. my nephew cried and said that po po put in his bowl.. then my mil then said "oh, never mind lah... he's ok".. my bil face so black black.. my mil very scared of bil and me bcos we are the type that angry will give black black face and "eyes" will kills type... hahhahahaa

 
Hi mummies to be,



just a question, since now you have discovered you are pregnant, did you communicate with your hubbies? do you all try to involve your hubbies in the early stage of your pregnancy?



anyone has started to prepare things like costing for milk powder, bb items, prams and what nots?

 
hi mummies, felt a sense of relief. cuz finally told me boss about my pregnancy. was so worried she will not react well to the news. but surprisingly she is very supportive and will try to rearrange my work so that i won't be overwork during this period of time.

 
Sh - not all maids are bad! It is just luck. My old maid was so caring and good manners while she was with us for the past 4.5yrs. Too bad she is stuck with family issues, otherwise she is willing to continue here in SG.

Well, after her, our luck isn't that good anymore! Pray hard, finger cross that the next one is suitable for my household.



Since u put your son with your PIL, I guess ur MIL also get involve rite? Your son still rejected her? Hmm..cute la

 
hi cheerful, i try to get my hubby involved by asking him to read those baby related books, articles, i.e. preparation for fatherhood. have asked him to help me apply the anti-stretch cream so that he can have his bonding time with the baby though he can't feel or hear the baby yet. other things like milk powder or baby stuff a bit too early to discuss i feel. i'm waiting to get hand-me-downs from my friends and colleagues for some of the baby items [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
I think cos this bb came as a surprise to us, so i am somehow at a loss, a bit bewilded and still feels it weird to say that "Hey! I'm pregnant." haha...



hubby did ask me before, if the child came too early, cos we are only married for 9 months, din even go for honeymoon yet.



my hubby doesn't do much, but i would make it a point to lie on the bed and make him "speak" to my stomach. he will pat pat my stomach and speak in a very kiddy tone. LOL.



as for items needed for bb as well as whether to get confinement lady or not, how much to give my mother in law to take care of kid and etc, all these are not discussed yet.

 
wow. I'm impressed. u guys plan. so far, me and hb dun plan. didn't try to calculate the extra expenses.



The only planning that we do is to buy a health insurance and an endowment policy (for tertiary education) for them.

 
Apple

Actually these maids are really very typical. They like to shove the blame to ex-maids and the next thing they said will be, "I dunno, when I come, already like this..etc blah blah". All these nonsense. When I employed maid the 1st time, I was really blur and even treated maids so good. In the end, kena "conned" and learnt my lesson. Next maid also the same thing. So I told myself, maids are NOT to be trusted. What we can do is entrust them with duty, watch them and monitor them. If buay gam, just have to change & move on. Sometimes really see heng suay. Haz. Wah, u very steady. Didnt tell her u send her off ah, like one of my colleague. She asked her sis to go pack her maid stuff while she herself bring the maid go round and round then straight to agent there; with all the baggage there liao.



Auroa

I also dun let my boy be close to my PILs. Cos I dun want them ended up bad-mouth me in front of him. I will sure whack them lor. So to prevent these, lesser contact the better. I scared I cannot control myself. Hahahaaaa... Thank god your girl listens to you well. Lucky. At least your ILs will know everything must go thru u 1st. Just like me now, my ILs know they cannot get thru to my boy unless thru me. Anyway, this is what they should get lor. Like u say, retribution. They only love the other grandkids. Then the more these grandkids gave them problems.



Sh

Poor u. I think yr MIL want face lor initially. Lucky its a boy for you. Then she LL.



Joyce

Good for you! Good boss. :)



Cheerful

I will ask my husband massage my back and my leg when I had cramps during my #1. Then he will sometimes ask around if I can eat these or do these. At times will remind me not to eat these blah blah. I will get HIM INVOLVED by asking him to eat with me during my #1.. So he actually put on alot of weight when I had my #1. And he is having all the preg symptoms as well like me.. Hahahaaa, same for this, #2. Somehow la.



Maybe u can start to shop during your 2nd trimester. Cos 2nd trimester feels like "honeymoon period", felt better. 3rd trimester, u will start to feel heavier and more tired. Your legs will get tired easily after a few walkings. :)

 
hi apple, yes he still reject her every now n then....mornings when my hubby drive him to PIL place, if FIL is the one that comes down to pick him, he readily smile n allow him to carry n go. If MIL comes down, she had to coax him to allow her to carry n say things like come granny bring u to see fish / cat etc….whhahah…..



cheerful,

do get ur hubby to b involve early. talk to bb / read a story....

for my case, hubby keeps thinking its funny/silly to talk to a tummy n sometimes reluctant. When bb can kick, I always can feel it. N if I tell hubby by saying out " daddy, bb is moving, come n feel"! The next moment hubby is here, bb stop moving….totally quiet.....i've tested many times. n if i don say out, i hand signal my hubby or bring his hand direct to my tummy, bb will still b kicking....whahahha......naughty bb rite....the moment bb was born, daddy talk to him while nurse is cleaning him up, he don respond to daddy. but when i say" hello J, u r crying so loud"....he stops crying a moment & looks into my direction n seems to b looking for that familiar sound.....

 
vv, ya lo, ask hubby quite a no. of times if its girl, what he thinks MIL reaction will b n he keep saying same…..i don think so lor! It will never b the same……

 
joyce: happy for u! how many months u in when u told ur boss? im actually thinking when is the appropriate timing to inform my boss..

 
when did u all announce your pregnancy? so far i have not told any family members yet.



i am living with MIL, so I guess confinement will be done by her. I don't know how she will be like, though I can only hope for the best. I did tell my hubby before, I am very frank and straightforward. don't piss me off, otherwise i will not hesitate to hold back. i told my hubby, that during confinement, a woman will be very tired and bad tempered, if she gives me rubbish, i scare i will just retort back. might make it difficult for him, as well as for the 2 of us, since we live together.



i ever show my MIL my black face before when she flared up at me for something that is trival and cos she is in a bad mood. she dun dare to do anything after that. i told my hubby " she wants to vent her frustrations, vent it on you or your sister. never take it out on me."

 
Sh..

Cos yr hubby dun wan to stir prob, so tell you its the same reaction. My hubby would say the same too if given same question. My hubby loves to say, "aiya, dun bother abt her, she is jealous"

 
Cheerful

I like your style leh. STeady leh. Yeah, initially must show yr power liao. Otherwise, they will think u easy to bully. If really no choice, then let MIL do confinement. But again, if u have extra $, maybe can consider getting CL and MIL to help out. Maybe better. Discuss wz yr hubby and see what he says..



I intend to announce pregnancy only after 3months. So far, only family members know. And 1 of my very close colleague know as she is my back-up buddy. She has to know in case when I am on leave or MC to see gynae.

 
rach and cheerful, i told my boss today, and i'm 9 weeks. initially wanted to tell her after 1st tri, but no choice, given my work demands (just got promoted) and constant gastric reflux, i need to let her know that i need to slow down a bit. otherwise not good for baby and mummy. at least she will understand if i'm working a little too slow, or on mc a little more frequently. i'm glad she's understanding, and she appreciated that i told her early so that she can make arrangement. she's also a mother, so she can understand.



so besides my boss, only my closer colleagues know, i.e. those who need to cover my work when i'm not around, so that they can keep an eye on me in the office.



will only tell our parents after 1st tri, so they don't get overly excited and start to ask me to eat this eat that, or do this do that. this will be the 1st grandchild for both families, so i'm sure there will be a lot of attention.

 
Only told my boss cos of work reasons. In case I faint or something. Close girlfriends know cos they are mummies n I ask them for advice. Hubby wants to tell his mum once we hear the heartbeat. I want to ask him to hold back but he just can't seem to hold it back. Haha. So far bosses have been ok with my news especially my dept is very fertile. Haha.

 
Cheerful,



I told most of my frds already after I'm able to hear my bb's heartbeat. They asked if I'm pregnant so I admit happily. haha! Lots know thru fb. As for my parents, I told them immediately once I tested positive. Currently 9 weeks now. I'm still suffering from ms. Dun know when it will end for my no 2. Can't stand the nauseous feeling during the afternoon and night time. Hope it will end soon.

 
Rach n Cheerful: I told almost everyone once I tested positive.. Lol.. Including my boss as she is also my mil.. Hehe.. Since my 1st born I seldom go office, maybe 2 times a mth lo(still get my pay la).. Cos have to take care of her cute cute grand daughter.. So I'm not so stress now..

 
i think almost everyone ard me somehow guess or know i'm preggie.. cos my MS so bad... just pray the bb is healthy..

 
looks like most of you have already told most of your family and friends. a lot of my friends asked, but i just keep quiet about it. not that i don't want to share good news, but just want baby to be more stable before sharing the joy. was discussing with hubby yesterday, when to tell our parents, he also agreed to let them know after 1st tri, so that they won't suddenly create a lot of stress on the both of us, i.e. ask us not to do this do that, etc.



just hope that my gastric reflux gets better, less vomitting, baby healthy, i very happy already!

 
joyce how u avoid the topic.. when ppl ask me.. i cannot say no i'm not pregnant.. cos its so unfair for my bb...

 
blurlemon, my gastric reflux is a known condition to my family and friends, so it's a convenient excuse. but it's a fact, cuz i am having gastric reflux but with a baby inside [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] when i tell them that, i will quietly talk to baby to assure baby that i will let everyone know when more stable. i'm sure my baby will understand.

 
bluremon

One of my frens said - If MS is bad; means the preg hormones are very strong. It means sth like you are "very preggie"... actually I dun like the preg symptoms like MS, so pek chek. But come to think of what my fren said about strong symptoms, I just let it be although can be quite xin ku.



Joyce

Important u dun feel stress... if u dun feel comfy telling pple, then dun tell. I also dun tell all my colleagues. Cos my co. very political de. And got some very 3-8 ladies in my company whom like to gossip. So I dun like to hear them like talk cxxk about me, so I didnt tell them. I dun wan to stress myself. So I only let 1 know, whom very close to me and mouth very tight de.



Christine

I used to take some MC only comes to last trimester as I really dun wan to go back Office after check up. Really very tiring. For 1st & 2nd trimester, I will take 1/2 day leave as still manageable. U take MC?

 
i shall try to convince my hubby to announce only after week 12. i also hope things go smoothly. anything can happen, so just want to be sure first.



anyone notice changes to ur body? i do! i pee like in the mid of the night like 4am or something, the abdomen is bigger, boobs are bigger. slight nausea feeling as well. i sniff on the axe oil and eat suan meis as well.

 


good morning everybody!



hubby told my parents & his parents once tested positive. i told him to hold back first till we go to the gynea, which has been scheduled on 4 Oct(by then, i shld be around week 6 or week 7) but he said, he wants to share his excitement of going to be a daddy with families. lolz.



aside, my close friends knew that im pregnant.. but for boss, im still holding back. coz im only like 5mths in the coy, not sure what he will think of me.. haiz.

 
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