(2010/12) December 2010 MTB


mummies with 2 kids:

think at this point of time, it is normal to neglect either one cos we are still adjusting to be mother of 2



me too neglect #1 initially untill she been keep calling me mummy mummy n really like a sticky plaster to me, so to makeup at nite i pat her to zz and sleep with her in her room, cos she all along only wants me to out her to sleep.

Whereas hubby take care #2 cos nw my #2 finally sleep thru!! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif][IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] He will zz ard 10pm lastfeed and last until 5 am in morning, been in this pattern for last 2 or 3 days liao, so keep our finger cross, so hb very happy nw LOL :p

 
If it wasn't for my mum and husband who help to take care of #1, I think I would hv gone crazy by now!



My husband helps to get my #1 ready for school in the morning, then my mum takes her after school till dinnertime when we pick her up. He's also been doing the potty training coz since I'm bfing #2 and I don't pump, the baby is stuck with me.



When I was in hospital after delivery (via c sect) I missed being with my daughter so much. My parents brought her to visit every day and when they left i had to try very hard not to cry.



Can see she's much closer to her daddy and nenek now, because mummy always carrying baby >.< but I try to sit down for meals with her and talk to her about her day every night in bed. Just hoping that as my son gets older, less dependent on me, can spend more time with both coz I also feel bad imposing on my husband when I'm the one on leave..

 
oshgosh, my boy is drinking 800 to 900ml of milk per day

Think boy drinks more? Cos last time my gal dranks 700 to 800ml

 
Lush, jiahui - i recently gave up latching bb as he strains a lot when latched. He drinks quite little and I had to nurse him very frequently. In addition, my supply is more than what he can take so I had to pump.

Yesterday I tried to latch him. His face turned very sour. Not sure if it's because my nipples are a lot bigger than the bottle teat? I really envy mothers who can latch on and feed bb directly. I am always grounded as i need to pump every fee hours.

Debbie - this evening I'll go out to buy the nuk latex teats to try. Hope will turn around the situation. Bb drank only 200 ml so far and it's almost mid-day.

 
My engorgement is causing me fever...have tried to latch and pump but breasts still feel very sore and painful to touch..;(



Btw mummies can advise if I take panadol, can bb still take my breastmilk?

 
Roz

So good to haf ur parents helping out.. Mine are working & ILs in msia.. Luckily gt my grandma with me to help see see look look.. But still tiring cos housework, cooking, taking care BB, potty train #1. Guess i'm too greedy to want accomplish so much in a short short time.. Haha =)



Mangogal

Ya lo.. Actually heart 'sour sour' when i see #1 closer to HB & my grandma when i came bk frm hospital initially.. I was too caught up in BF-ing & handling BB on my own.. Plus kept scolding #1 for disturbing BB. Nw closer with her liao, cos sje start to 'Mummy Mummy' again.. I really will 'jealous' lo.. Both my apples & feels good to be 'wanted' by both.. Even BB also prefer me than anyone lo. If cranky or sleepy, only i carry then he will stop crying.. Tats the most rewarding part of our job... =)

 
Dbaby, glad ur boy cheeks is better! Haa ya initially my gal was calling daddy more than me so i feel jealous too but she ultimately still remember me, haha! Nw I feel great to bond close with 2 cuties[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Yeah very rewarding!



Hey looks like ur potty training for ur gal is in good improvement ah...mine still CMI :p Anyway I dun mind delaying maybe after 2 yr old or later mths...jiayou u are doing a good job!

 
Hi mummies,



dunno wat's wrong with my girl these few days, keep crying and crying and can't sleep for long and I'm super exhausted. Almost to the point she cry I cry with her also. I have to carry her for almost the whole day, put her down she will start to cry.



Now i'm handling her on my own and I can really go crazy. And it doesn't help when your husband is not supportive. Ask him to take leave for the time being like want his life! Very very sick and tired I feel like putting her in infant care already.



I'm staying with my parents in law, but I do everything myself, they only play with her and help out minimal only! I know its not their responsibility since its my own baby so I cannot blame them. I can only blame my own husband since looking after her is not my sole responsibility, he's also her dad! Feel like I'm going into depression soon. I really cannot wait to go back to work so I can feel like a human again! I don't think I wan to have another kid unless I get a maid or something. Everything sucks now I feel like leaving her here alone with him and escape somewhere!

 
Melissa> babies just sometimes go through a fussy period...it's ok to cry together, I've done it before as well. Do you have a carrier? Maybe can strap on and go for a walk, I find that helps to calm fussing babies quite well.



Sometimes when I also cannot take it anymore, I just put baby in a safe place and let him cry while I go do my own thing for a while...let him exercise his lungs a bit.

 
Crystal, yes it's babes and tots clinic. Is he cheaper compared to others?



Sharon, I had terrible engorgement previously too. You will need to massage real hard to clear the ducts while pumping. Read in the forum that 1 mom also try to massage while showering with warm water to stimulate the flow.

 
oh dear Melissa, ya maybe use a carrier or push ur gal in pram?

Baby loves motion n will calm them dwn cos it will be too tiring for u to keep carry her whyole day...last time my #1 was also in such a phase for a few weeks ard 3 mths old, so i put her in pram, push her ard at hm and it works cos I dun use yaolan or rocker. Try this method ok? Let us know if it works...Poor u feeling so overwhelm as a 1st time parent, we are all here to console n give ideas or support[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Dbaby and other 2 kids mummies:

Does ur 2 kids very close? Dbaby, i see ur FB photos very envy leh..ur 2 kids so close liao..hee..maybe ur gal at hm so see didi every moment...mine nt very close cos she is keeping herslef busy wif dvd, playing n eating etc...some times we put boy in living room, she cant be bothered until we hv to tell her say hello to didi then she realise n start to 'poke' his face :p

 
stephen, i only just read your post about bb's nonstop cries. since bb likes to sleep on his stomach, then when u carry him, try placing him face down also, with his face on the inside of your elbow, his tummy lying on the length of your arm, and your palm can grab in between his legs. that's how i carry mine when she has air in her tummy and helps her to fart. mine also likes sleeping on her tummy.



mummies, any of your bbs suddenly cry when drinking milk? mine can be drinking steadily but suddenly cry for no reason. it's not the teat size 'cos i have just changed it to size 3 and the flow is good. it happens to both fm and ebm. really puzzling...

 
Melissa

Like wat Roz & Mangogal sugg, put in pram or carrier will help at times... If carry whole day, i think shoulders & back will ache..

Actually i also same same, handle both single handedly.. I dun like ask HB cos i end up doing 50% of watever task i asked him to.. Will only make me more frustrated!! So i let him feel my pathetic n offer, at least feel better even if i haf to do 50%.. haha =)



Mangogal

My gal rather close in a sense cos i get her involved with BB stuff.. Like she will offer to take hanky for wiping lil bro saliva, 'stuff' pacifier into his mouth when cry, fetch milk btl when i prepare milk n lots more.. Also cos she KPO by nature la... But sometimes very shocked by her sudden outburst when she beat or slap lil bro.. Try hard to explain lo.. She also likes to kiss lil bro or offer to want carry lil bro when i say hands aching frm carry lil bro...

 
Re: engorgement

Actually warm water will make engorgement worse...because it will increase the blood and lymph flow to the breasts and make them even more engorged. You need cold compresses like cold cabbage leaves or I used the gel packs from my avent breast pump.



Re: siblings

I can't get my elder girl to leave my boy alone. Can't really leave the two unattended. Too affectionate already!

 
melissa, just read your post. mine recently also has crying jags, not sure what's wrong. i soothed her by carrying her upright, then bend my knees and straightened repeatedly. it's like the yaolan motion but she's upright instead of lying down. she stops crying and it's been my secret weapon lately. maybe you can try? a way to get me exercising also - a few minutes of that and i'd be perspiring! lol!



the carrier method also helps sooth my bb but it only works when she's in a good mood to be placed into the carrier in the first place.

 
Debbie - when u use nuk m latex teats, are there bubbles rushing into the bottle when your baby drink? When I use Pigeon, the air bubbles enter the bottle steadily and I know that baby can suck easily. But when I try nuk latex s and silicone m, no bubbles enter so I think it's difficult for bb to suck. I will try latex m later and hope it's better.



Mummies - am i correct to say that air bubbles must enter the bottle steadily to replace the milk being sucked out in order to ensure a smooth flow?

 
Dbaby, haha so funny right? See jie jie kpoing her didi :p

Oh the only thing my gal interested is helping me hold the milk bottle when feeding didi, when she is in good mood times, she will come to me when I feed him n said i wan to hold, hee...kpo sweetie :p



dew, ya sometimes my boy will cry when feeding him milk, think he is frustrated when he cant drink more becos of the teat :p

 
Dew, hee.. I like ur yalan exercise to sooth baby n also can exercise, kill two birds with one stone!

 
Hi Mummies,



I just delivered my baby boy on the 18 Jan (actual due date should be 21 Feb and he decided to come out early... ) and he is on total breastfeed....



I'm having a little problem here with my storage of breastmilk... I bot bottles thinking that i can store them in the freezer.. but who knows my supply of milk is too much for the bottles to be accomodating my milk in the freezer...



I am considering milk bags to replace bottles for storing in the freezer which my friend recommended me to do so....



Any mummies here using milk bags to store their breastmilk???? Happen to come across this post http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/5115836.html?1297955028 on Nanny Milk Bags, any mummies using them too??? See that the price is the cheapest i can find and my friend also recommended me to use this brand....

 
thanks mums for your support, feel better after i rant.



Roz & mango - thanks! I'll try the carrier method later. being around a fussy baby is really difficult!



Could she be teething hence the crying? I tried putting my finger in a cloth in her mouth and she use both her gums to gnaw it. I dunno if its due to teething or natural reflexes.



I read online decreased appetite, crying, irritability, droolinh are all symptoms of teething.



dew - my girl does tat sometimes also. cry halfway. I dun think its the teat cos she"s on medium already and its quite fast. She also doesnt finish her milk. sometimes left 30ml.



dbaby - same..dunno y guys like tat..yest he feed her milk, she only drank 30ml den she start crying and he gave up saying she doesny want. after tat i coax her for awhile and she finished up everything.

 
mummies

want to check if my baby is having a mild cough/cold, is it a must to go see PD or can just wait a while to see if it will go off by itself?

tks

 
mummy yun, i'm using the milk bags for freezing. it's good, can buy.



happyhippo, my daughter had cough/cold too. I brought her to see PD. Not sure if it's a must but since she is so small better to see PD or doctor bah.

 
roz,mango & dbaby.. i think i did the opposite from you gals. I was really concerned about #1 so much so that i think #2 suffers. Kids start developing long term memory around 2 years of age. That's why i put lotsa effort to make sure that #1 is not neglected, worries about emotional impact on her, and by doing so to prevent sibling rivalry. I reckon that #2 is more of a feed/sleep routine (then) so i can put more time for #1. Perhaps as such, it resulted in #2 rejecting bottle at just 2 mth old, slept through from last feed at 10+pm till next morn 8am since she can hardly sleep well enough during the day. I hardly even know how to comfort her to sleep during the day because #1 is always asking me to do stuff with her. But at least, #2 seemingly looks forward to sleeping at night because I will cuddle her to sleep while she latches on. Recently with the introduction of sling, she can sleep better since i'm lugging her around while doing stuff with her sister. I do feel kinda sad and sometimes i don't even know if i've done the right thing.

 
Dear mummies, sorry for interrupting.



I have a new Burberry dress for sale. Pls click link to view the pics. Got from those online seller in Facebook. Size is too small for my girl.



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happyhippo> with my #1, yes, every little ailment I went running to the doc. With #2, a bit more relaxed. Esp if baby is very young, coz got no meds for them. My boy at about 2 weeks old started coughing and sounded like he had a stuffed nose, so the only thing I could do was continue bfing him and using some saline nose drops. I would monitor, make sure no fever, as long as can still feed and sleep well. BUT that's me lah.



Lush Velvet> How I wish I could do what you're doing! Coz my #1 just started nursery and they're learning to how write etc..I wish I could spend more time with her doing things like that but instead am tied down with #2. Am hoping as he gets a little older, I can handle them both together. My parents are going overseas sometime in April so I will be left on my own with the two of them @-0



Sometimes at night, when I look at my son sleep, it suddenly occurs to me that I have another child. LOL.

 
Sharon-if have fever,it might b mastitis..any redness? Normal panadol is safe for bf. I used cold cabbage to relieve the swell after pump,but before pump I will use hot towel massage to unblock the ducts.. Massaging under warm shower works for me, can clear better... Better to c doc if still not well,might need antibiotics..



Re:cry-baby

My ger has been more cranky after her 6in1 nag prevenar jabs! Cry cry during feed,sleeps more lightly than before.. Teat go in mouth,cry! Dun let her suck fingers also cry! Hope tis phase pass soon...

 
Happyhippo

I think gt cough n flu, better bring to PD la. Cos so young, sometimes we dun knw wat causes it too.. Plus no med so good to bring when its still mild cough n flu.. My tots la, cos tt wat i do.



Lush Velvet

I wish i can spend more time with #1 cos if #2 dun slp or is fussing, i haf to take care. Then i will ask my tod to watch TV n i acc her by sitting beside.. Sometimes if she manja n wan me carry also, i haf to reject her n i feel so bad abt it..

But its so good to haf BB slpin thru til morning. I wished mine cld too..

 
Dear mummies, sorry for interrupting.



I received this gift from friends but have no use for it as my baby is co-sleeping with us. It's definitely brand new and still in the original box.



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/2495852/5126894.jpg] There's slight peel on the cover due to gift wrapping.



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/2495852/5126895.jpg] Otherwise, everything else is untouched.



This product is retailing at $199.90. But we are letting go to serious buyers at a lower price than this.



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If you are keen and sincere in buying, pls PM me. Thank you.

 
Sharon-I tink it cld b..better c doc asap before it gets worse..mine always start wf engorgement pain n soreness wf fever,then the reddening enlarges it's area n gets worse.. Both times I had it,boobs nt rock hard oso,but super pain to touch.. Very sian one..I had to call my massage lady in both times to help me clear...

 
Yvaine:thanks for your encouragement how true we seem to be overwhelmed by them then enjoy them. My boi still drowsy state and refusing the bottle wAnt to latch but I have not much milk for him dunno is it due to stress. Not much input for one two days alr only latch here and there. Am worried when he will get his appetite back. At wits end already, am Drawing strength from Him . Cos i know He will provide .

 
Sharon-yup vy painful but wat to do..must clear lei,ownself abit hard to massage at certain areas.. I will send her SOS Msg to come when I can't do it.. At least she uses oil to massage,less friction.. I do until I bruise my boobs and skin also dry...

 
C C: I have not pumped for A few days, so I guess this means my ss of bm will auto stop? Been busy so pump less, the last time I only pump 30ml. Now stop for few days le. Feels heavy but not engorged.

 
aiko: my ss sudden drop, duno y..and not gettin enough support oso..sian. cos i express instead of latch on, so everytime gotta pump out. need MIL or HB to take over bb when i pump..but sometimes feel tat not gettin the support.sigh.n this makes me feels upset, n since ss is droppin, thinking of stoppin,though feels bad at the same time too. mine oso not engorged but heavy..but milk doesnt come out tat muc dunno y. so u totally stop pump n latch on already? i worry later will blocked..tat's y need to ask mummies here.

 
dew: sudden crying n refuse to drink could be tat the milk has turn cold. not too sure if it's same for u but my bb will ometimes cy n refuse the milk esp towards the end,then i warm up he wll continue n finish.



mummy yun: i m using nanny brand,quite gd so far.



dbaby n melissa: my hb same too. no patience. when i passed him bb cos need to pump milk, he asked me to hurry,don dilly dally cos he's tired wanna zzz! i even more tired oso nvr complain...tat's y i m thinkin of stoppin bf liao..was tallkin to my bb jus now till i cry cos mite not able to ss him bm anymore..sigh



sharon: massage ur breast with ur clothes on (braoff), less friction than direct contact to breast.best to do durin bath with shower gel.painful but no choice.

 
CC

if u want to avoid engorgement, slowly extend the time in between your pump and also reduce the time you normally pump for.. for eg if you have been pumping every 4 hrly and each time pump 30 mins each side, then try to extend to 6 hrly and pump 15mins each time.. or if ur ss not very much, jus pump a little to relieve the fullness feeling..



tats wat i did, but mine was on quite a full supply of about 150 - 180ml each side then. i also felt v upset when i had to stop, but i think i'm happier now cos i have more time to spend w my little ones instead of worrying about engorgement, block ducts and fever half the time..



mummies who have helpers and who are going back to work:

are you going to leave your baby alone w your helper at home? or do you have other caregivers who will be watching over your helper?

i have to go back to work in May and i still dunno what to do with my no 2.. i have the following options, but can't decide which is the best:



1) leave her at home alone with helper. I somehow dun feel safe doing so cos i worry abt helper being negligent.. also i worry tat baby end up being closer to helper.



2) bring to infant care. but that would mean both my kids in childcare, very shiong financially.. and also means my helper whole day at home nothing much to do? then i might as well not have a helper, but her contract only ends in 2012.. and if no helper, i am alone after work and on weekends w 2 kids when my hub travels (which is at least 2 or 3 weeks in one month).



3) bring baby and helper to my parents hse. this is best case scenario but my parents' hse v far. this means morning i hv to drop my elder gal in her childcare first (about 10 mins fr my place), drive 20 mins to my parents place and drop baby there before driving another 15 mins to workplace.. i could do tat.. jus tat in the evening, it will be almost impossible to get to the childcare centre on time after work cos i have to pick up baby on the way to pickup no 1..

also my parents not v keen cos they took care of my nephew for the last 6 years and they want a break..

arghh, the logistics is driving me crazy..



so mummies, wat should i do??



another option: quit my job!

 
CC & Melissa

I think cos we women haf the motherly instinct so will be more patient ba. wat to do?? hahaha..



oshgosh

seriously i feel option 3 is the best cos i dun feel secure in leavin BB alone with helper no matter hw good she appear to u.. u nvr knw.. and put both in childcare n infant care, she wil be very free.. and who knows wat she will start doing?? do u knw my sis neighbour, her maid hor, go n take her mdm clothes & sir clothes to those blangadesh workers. somemore cook for them eat FOC... alamak.

but if ur mum cant help u, seriously u haf to consider resigning from ur job til at least No2 is old enuf?? dilemna huh,,

 
OshgOsh - have u considered taking no-pay leave till your help's contract expire? speaking from experience, children fall sick often at childcare. Baby is young so try not to subject him/her to such pain. By 2012, baby can go to toddler class. It is also a lot cheaper than infant care.

My no. 1 attended infant care when he was 5 mths old. Everytime he falls sick I'll feel extremely upset. I blame myself for all the pain hE had to go through.

But now I may need to send no. 2 to infant care too when I resume work in Apr. I feel so bad. But if I stop work then financially it will be hard.

 
Sharon - I massage hard, then pump or latch. Repeat 2 or 3 times. I did the above for every pump so will clear up by the next day. But remember nor to neglect the other breast. Otherwise the blockage might shift to the other side.

 
Hi mommies!



I havent logged on since I delivered. My daughter Natalie is now into her 9th week. I'm pumping now at this earthly hour that's why have time to log on.



Wanna check with you ladies... Do your babies make a lot of noises while sleeping at night? My gal grunts and move her hands and legs wildly and also moves her head from side to side. Is this normal??

 
morning mummies ^_^ thank you for the encouragement & advises. i just hope her crankiness will outgrow soon. nonetheless, still heart my princess 100%.. hehe



was out on thursday for company lo hei thanks to mum's help with babysitting my gal. she really misses me when i was not around according to my mum cause she refused to sleep, kept crying and can see she is searching for me. and true enough when i took over upon reaching my parents' place, she gave me a very sweet smile and "talk" to me for a while before she guai guai fell asleep. i think the 24/7 time spent with her since birth makes her very close and clinging to me bah. now must ask mum to take care of her more else how to go back to work with peace of mind.



melissa: dont be upset. my baby started this behaviour since week 2. and i am on my own as in really on my own from week 4 onwards after confinement. she will cry and cry and wanted to be carried 24/7. put her down after she fell asleep she will wake up immediately and wail. so i can understand what you are going through. try singing, talking, humming, carrying her and walk/dance around or even "throw" her over your shoulder if her neck is strong enough. i started throwing my gal over my shoulders since week 2 as her neck is considerably strong and she loves it that way.



dewdew: mine will cry suddenly when feeding too.



dbaby & melissa: my hubby also like that. once baby starts crying during feed or whatever, hubby will say she doesnt want le or whatever excuse to return the baby to me. sigh!

 


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