(2010/07) July 2010 MTB

carol: my ILs are a bit too enthusiastic in their way of handling the baby - a bit scary, once my FIL just pulled the moses basket to one side that it slants so he can see my girl sleeping inside, when we corrected him he said, must be more rugged. in fact, that's the excuse my ILs give when they are told they're rough with the baby - must be rugged. i daren't leave my girl with them unsupervised. my heart will be more at unrest if i leave her with them.



i can't leave today but i'll prolly take urgent leave tomorrow.

 


Infant car seat: Yes, agree with ica. Mummies, please train and let your bbs sit in the car seat for their safety. I am training my boy to sit in it no matter how short the distance we are travelling. We will be doing a 8-hour drive back to my hometown in Msia next CNY (perhaps even more than 8 hour with bb), so praying hard that bb will guai guai sit in the car seat and endure the long journey!

 
Sue: Understand..cos i oso darent leave my bb to my mil as she likes to give bb trad medicine eg: 保婴丸,珠粉 etc to bb whenever bb cranky..

if so can only ask ur hubby to take leave..

Dont worry, everything will be fine!!

Cheers [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Ica: I didn’t get bb a car seat cos we dun have a car.. so we sit FIL’s car and have to carry bb in my arms.

Same when going out, usually we take cab and I carry bb in my arms..

Is there a law to have bb in carseats even when taking cabs? Cos I myself also feel is quite dangerous, but no choice leh..

 
carol: I am in the process of converting already. Mine is a boy, whether PR or citizen, he has to serve NS. So may as well make him a citizen. He will have dual citizenship first, then he choose himself when he is 18 or 21, can't remember which age. Somehow when I was expecting a girl in 2009 (which i lost), i didn't give citizenship a thought.

 
i did put bb into infant car seat ever since full month for bb. and i travel with my bb every weekday since then.



I am converting from the infant seat to those recline booster seat soon.



Any one got recommendations for it? Budget less then $200.

 
Good Morning, Mummies



Hubby flew off to Shanghai last night and will be back on Friday. Without hubby, my in law will not release my boy to me to bring back home.. so sad. They will tell me very ma fan to bring boy home and back again.. very tiring for me.. moreover I don't wanna trouble my FIL to drive me as he not good eyesight liao and thus dangerous to drive at night. My FIL also don't like me to take cab alone with bb.



Yesterday, my MIL told me to get use to having bb stay at their house from Mon to Thurs. I was like "WTH, this topic again".. Not sian meh? From before giving birth touch on this topic till now bb 19wks liao. She knows everytime my answer is I will leave bb overnight on Mon & Wed so that I will get to rest and do housework. Why must I leave my bb there from Mon to Thurs? She say yesterday that leaving bb there from Mon to Thurs, I won't be so tired from taking care of bb and moreover bb easy to take care at night so she can handle. I am thinking if bb more easy to take care at night then what is the issue of me bringing him home to take care on my own. Moreover she is also working not retired.. she leave house much earlier than me and come home even much later than me.. so how come she can take care of bb from Mon to Thurs and I can't? Is she trying to indicate that I am a lousy mummy?



Even worse.. yesterday she say ask us to stay for dinner and leave bb overnight at her house.. no need to bring home cause hubby had not packed his luggage.. I am thinking what is the link between hubby packing luggage and me bringing son home to sleep for the night? Then I told her I wanna bring bb to swim.. then she say swim liao come back to eat dinner then leave bb overnight. See.. she just can't let it go. So I told her.. my mum cooked dinner and we will be going over after the swim.. moreover my mum 1 week never see bb le.. then she asked me my mum only rest on Sunday ah... i say yes and she only cook on Sunday.. finally she let the topic off.



Not happy with what she trying to tell me lo even though she might not mean it that way. I once told my hubby.. if I wanna be a weekend mummy (no offence to other weekend mummies, just my personal preference), i rather not give birth at all. I prefer to take care of my bb whenever I can so that he can be close to me. If she only wan 1 grandson only.. then she can continue to ask me to let bb stayover.. I would not wan another child le since pple keep trying to take my bb away from me.



Sorry to keep ranting but super not happy lo.

 
quartzie: Oh.. ok.. will drop by Marsiling and Tom & Steph to see see one of these days.



Sweetkiss: No la.. quarrel with hubby.. pek chek with him.. then I went to JB on my own lo since bb at my in law (he stay over on Saturday night). Maybe my MIL know I quarrel with hubby and she thought I quarrel because I have no time to rest so keep asking bb to stay over. But that is not what we quarrel about. Haha!!



Although it is tiring but i love the fact that bb will look for me when he wanna sleep and wan me to carry when he sees me.. i feel every sacrifice I made is worth it.

 
carol: Only i am converting. Hubby will be keeping Msian citizenship. So if we decide to go back for retirement, I am thinking hubby can bring me back and get Msia PR for me as his wife? Not sure about Msia PR procedures though. I am also thinking when bb grows up, it will be unlikely that he will want to live in Msia if he spents all his growing up years in Spore. We may end up spending our golden years in Spore to be with him & his future siblings if any.

 
Tell her, baby is yours not hers! Urgh! really cant stand MILs who are so into your face about your own child!



My MIL has this weird thing about wanting to be the one to rock my baby to sleep. Everytime my girl shows signs of being tired, she'll be like "pass to me pass to me" but I just ignore her straight out. I get that she's excited since this is her first grandchild but this is my first child. Moreover, she wasn't happy when she found that I was pregnant with a girl and kept on insisting that it's a boy until I gave birth. -_-

 
Ann, can understand how u feel, if its me i'll be super buay song too! I'll give them the "c'mon... its MY BB" attitude! If got choice i will want to slp with BB everyday too. I'm a wkend mom though [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] cos no car then travel to and fro in the morning and after work via mrt super squeezy...

 
ann: I agreed with Cherry's saying.



Jus be firm with not bringing bb back to them. ignore all calls. Can do pick up but once mentioned abt bb issues, change topic say busy or whatever then hang up call.



**anyway i will do that.



My ILs also very funny ppl, most time 1 old man with weak heart taking care of 1 10mth bb, 1 4 yrs old, 1 can't even behave and will talk back rudely 10yr old gal, still want TC my bb ! I oso fed up ! so whatever i do, wherever i go, i bring my bb along. (ya even if need to go toilet)



And ya dun even think of carrying/touch my bb when they prefer its a boy then a gal, and worst, they dont even keep the house clean ... still want tell me got time and hands to TC my bb! -.-lll



I think ILs of our generations are so so so whatever ! And I am waiting for a chance to blow my top over my ILs.

 
Ann, sometimes ILs can be over enthusiastic one. Maybe ur hubby not ard she is worried u will be tired from fetching bb to and fro her place daily.

She has ur FIL to help but u will be alone for the time being.

If u dun wish to I think u can tell her ur reasons in a nice way..



I have friends who are weekend mummies, one of them, her nanny just lives downstairs but she only brings her son home to sleep on weekends for the past 6 yrs.

Even when her son is at her house, he also sleeps with her inlaws and not her.

I wonder how come she wont miss baby one?



The other day, I was complainin abt hw my MIL likes to turn up at my place every sun rite..

last SAT, she suddenly called & said she cooked soup & wanna bring to our house.

but hb and i alr preparing to go out with bb.. again, she kept insisting will only take a while and wanna come over.

this time round, my hb really pek cek and told his mum, next time dun cook anything for us cos we are nt sure whether we will be home or not.

think my mil angry. later at nite my hubby called her to ask abt the soup, she said "SPOIL LIAO".. And Sun she nv come my house... deep down i feel abit happy. i very bad hor.

 
quartzie: u talk abt the MRT squeezy thing, my bb ytds was crying like nutts in the train n suddenly got 1 china aunty stand beside me tell my hubby to carry bb out of carrier instead of putting inside carrier. my HB still reply her "ok ok"



I was like @#% #$ hey! it's my bb and bb crying over crowded train rides is ok ... as bb is not crying non stop, my bb was crying intermittenly lar... (her 1st mrt ride since birth) and i was standing in the middle of the carriage. My bb enjoys seeing the moving view outside the train but no space to stand there lo...



haiz... not the first time my HB hor answer back to china aunty abt bb. the other time was at Jurong point and I was putting bb to slp, so i was bouncing bb in my arms, and its my knees keep bending up n down to rock my bb to slp, the aunty tell me to stop rocking my bb as will hurt my bb's brain ! my HB again reply th aunty "ok ok"



i wondered if bb is mine or someone else. my HB keep listening n appease others but not me !

 
And the happiest thing is my bb can recognize ppl loh!

family gathering last nite and she refused to be carried by anyone, wont stop crying till I carried her back.

my hubby sarcastically told me “u happy now lor? No one snatch bb from u in future…”

yes indeed.. I rather carry her until my hands ache and break than to let her be passed around ppl.

 
SK: at least ur HB speak up for you... u get to cheer up abit ! thou next time want to drink soup u got to boil urself ready lar! hee ! (I rather boil soup myself la)



My HB is like walking soul, he do things to appease others but not me n bb.



we both mother n bb can be very tired n restless becos of HB's sister and parents (their talking is shouting, often can hear quarrel(the sister n HB) and bb crying (not mine but HB's sister's 2 kids)



but HB only say, "what u want me to do? 1 is my sister, the other is my parents? you wan to tell me u want separation so that you can (me lar) go back to ur mum there to sleep lar"



1 more time my HB tell me that, I cfm will walk out to tell my ILs that their precious son wants a separation when i just want to have a quiet home to come back to.



if they not happy i oso dun care liao

 
SK : Luv u nutts lar !! ur HB responded the same way as my HB, feels like slapping my HB sometimes ! BB dont find me then find who sia !

 
sweetkiss: haha actually i will also feel very happy deep down inside. sometimes i feel evil for feeling this way towards my ILs but if they regarded my feelings as a first-time mum and not want to dictate the way I bring up my child whereas they are the ones who are handling her so roughly, then maybe I'd be nicer. *shrugs*

 
hahaha omg sweetkiss! i can sooo relate to that! haha my babygirl is very sticky to me too! will amuse strangers for a while but soon enough, she'll cry for me. i'm with you on this, would rather carry her til my hands ache then let her be like a baton.



haha omg do we sound like a couple of psychomums? :p

 
carol,

i run the idea about converting by hubby but he's not keen. my argument was that bb will grow up not knowing much about msia, which to me is not quite right lah



vernie,

ya, hubby can apply PR for you but it will take ages. serious. even the foreign workforce can get msian citizenship at a faster rate than us getting PR status



i'll be driving back to KL in Dec with baby. guess this time have to make several stops along the way, unlike last time - non-stop. but baby is ok in the carseat as long as the car is moving. even in the carpark looking for parking bay she'll fuss if we take too long. she'll stop when she hears the reverse sensor beeping. LOL

 
cherry: Haha!! Your MIL sounds like my in law maid lei.. whenever she sees Kayden, she will say "Give me Give me".. then take the bb away from me liao.. But she kanna scolded by my MIL for doing that la.. so now she will still say "Give me Give me" but then will not snatch Kayden from me but wait for me to give her.. though at times, she still forget about her behaviour la. Cause the maid really dote on Kayden.. she not willing to cut her hair short one.. but then my MIL told her not good for bb cause hair dirty and kayden might fall sick so she unwillingly went to cut her hair short and told me she is doing it for Kayden only.



Aiya.. boy or girl also grandchild.. why so particular... sometime just don't understand all these old folks lo.. granddaughter means blood is red and grandson means blood is gold meh?



If everyone give birth to son nia... i think our human race will extinct liao lo.



quartzie: Ya.. which mum dun wan their bb by their side? Which mum dun wan bb to be closer to them than anyone else? Eventhough u are a weekend mum, doesn't mean u don't wish for bb to be by your side everyday if possible.



xbeanniex: They tell me face to face lo.. not even through phone call. If hubby is in, hubby dun give face one.. when hubby say no, it means strictly no.. even if bb is sleeping when the time comes to go home, he will just go to the cot and carry bb out and go home. His parents also can't do anything to him. That's why they always ask me and not ask hubby and especially when hubby not ard then they ask me.

 
Sweetkiss so envy u... my bb ok with anybody leh. Deep in my heart i always hope my bb prefers me to everyone/anyone!



Beannie i oso experience a lot of these aunty aunty kaypoh-ness.... Once i went shop & save with BB then walk past old aunty A, she says aiyo so small don't always bring out la, then aunty B came in say "Siao ar don bring out next time BB very anti social, cry easily one." I walk away lor when the 2 aunties arguing thr...

 
Sweetkiss: I know she scared I tired but then the way she tell me is no matter hubby in or not in also leave bb 24/7 at her house from Mon - Thurs. Actually when hubby not in, I leave bb at her house too as much as i can.. when i go play with my son and leave the house without him when going home, i will wanna cry liao.. even my hubby's sister can see my tears but I don't understand why my MIL & FIL cannot see it. I know they leave their kids with their grandma 24/7 for weekdays but they can do it doesn't mean i can. And I don't like my MIL to keep saying BB sure will know who is mum & dad so don't worry if bb stay over.. even my dog also know who is mum & dad but the problem is who is he closer to.. like my dog is closer to me than hubby.

 
Thanks all for your concern,I'm better today..but bb still quite cranky and cry easily after the accident.



Poor bb today 7am fell down for the 8inches mattress while my hb is making milk ,cry like mad..I quickly woke up from my sleep and carry her from the floor..I feel that I'm such a lousy mum[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Beannie, I also quite shocked cos usually my hb will not answer back de..

but thankfully he gives in to me more cos he knows I am very unhappy when my mil comes.

my mil used to idle at my house whole day, he is the one who told her we need to have family time and asked her to stay not longer than 3 hrs…

my mil will confirm think that I am the one controlling my hb, but I dun care what she thinks as long as I am happier!



Yar! I said that’s exactly what I want: bb to only want mummy…!

although the older folks say not gd.. must let baby be more sociable and let anyone carry, I dun care lor.



sue: yes deep within I felt a sense of victory! Hoping she will continue to be angry and not come this week as well. Lol!

 
Sito: hope you are feeling better now.



Irene! :Yes, it is always very nice to receive something you want. How is the DVD? Let us know if it is useful.



Ann: I think you are very tolerant and nice to your mil. If I were you, I would be very very angry with the mil and might even scold her! What right does she have to keep your bb by her side? She sounds like she can handle your bb better than you the mum.



Sweetkiss: Same la! My Mil and fil did not come to my house yesterday cos they went dinner! I was happy and deep in my heart I told myself heng lah, I can have a peaceful Sunday. BUT, I have this gut feeling they would turn up later today. Cos they die die must come once a week. Quite surprise that your MIL does not have your house keys? My mil has. Given to them since we shifted to this place.That's why they can come and enter our house without calling. REGRET.



My Mil also has many reasons to come my house, bring food la, bring batteries la, watever. Only recently, she brings better things like diapers for my bb. Luckily I don't stay with my ILs. I would go nuts.

 
SK: at least u not staying with her leh. I am!!! Its 10x more worse cos there is no escape.. just imagine if u have to see her morning.. afternoon and night.

 
Quartzie: dun worry, slowly ur bb will.. I also didn’t realise till yesterday. We tried with a few relatives, her crying reaction was the same..



Ann: ya lor I think if u dun wish to, better insist on it. For me I so fussy and stubborn when it comes to baby.. so whatever my mum wants to give baby, she will ask me first.

worse comes to worse, lie to them that u might put bb in infant care near ur house. Like that easier for u to fetch to & fro work and bb gets to sleep with u.

must bring across to them the msg that u want to sleep with baby!

 
Sito: BB fell onto another mattress or onto the floor? Now bbs know how to flip le must take extra care. Don't say that.. u are not a lousy mum.. lousy mummies are mummies who doesn't care at all and you are definitely not one of them.



Sweetkiss: Actually it is good for bb to be more sociable but then at the end of the day, bb should always wan parents more than anyone else. At least that is how I feel. But elderly must also treat our bb with care la.. not throw them around like toy.



charliebrown: I am tolerant is because I think peace in family is very impt. Having an addition to the family is a good thing thus I would not wan to turn things ugly. I appreciate all the helps which they are giving me but I just wish that my MIL and FIL will just let this topic go and let me decide when I wanna let my bb stay over and when I wanna bring bb home. I am an adult and I also know that if I fall sick, it does not do me or bb any good too.



If my hubby's sister can understand my feeling.. why can't they?

 
i think most of us have problem with hubby's side..

for my case, i'm weekend mummy too..we didnt back to my hubby's home for 2 mths.

His sisters kept sms him n asked when he is going back home, then forward sms to remind him dun forget abt family etc lah!!

i feel so frustrated actually.. They all have their mum or MIL taking care of their bb so that they can see their bb everyday..

So it is no issue for them to travel or stay overnight at in-law's place..

but do they ever think that we only see our bb 1 week once, then now my bb alr can recognize ppl n place, if we bek to my hubby's hse,

sure my bb will cry like hell!!

I brought bb bek to his home when bb was 2 mths old..although only stayed for 1 night there, alr had conflict with my mil..

whenever i sterilized bb's pacifier, she ll keep saying "no need to steam lah, just soak in hot water ll do..", taught us how to take care of bb...

I also dun know whether i should go back or not..i know my hubby yearn to go back actually, but i really worry my bb ll cry whole night!

sigh, in dilemma too..

 
Charliebrown: hahaha! Yes! 101 reasons to come my house..

bring soup, bring coconut also have.. but she better la, sometimes buy diapers and milk powder, though she tells me she dun have enough hands so one day pass diaper, one day pass powder then can come more often.

she did request for house keys but I nv give. No reason to give wad..

even my own mum I also nv give.

what for they come to my house when I am not around? I dun mind opening the door for them. That’s why I said I am fussy lo..

even my mum also BTH me.



jaclyn: I quickly got a resale flat the moment I got pregnant. Cos I can foresee the problems if I stay with them with the baby.

and after I gave birth, I even did confinement at mum’s place and stayed for another 1 mth+ till my new house was ready…

 
quartzie: i no choice.. balloted 7 times without success & i dun wanna stay with in-laws.. i dun wan my child to turn out like my hb's stepbrother.. super loud, talkative, and rude..



i tried staying there after my confinement but every nite, my bb kept crying till i moved back to my mum's..

 
ya me too Sweetkiss... ballot umpteen times, preg still go c MP for petition but still always 1xxx then flats available only hundred over. Don have so much cash on hand so bobian ballot again. Finally got it last 2 weeks, but got to wait till 2015, by then my girl 5 yrs old liao...

 
i oso waiting waiting for flat to be ready, cant wait ti get out of that noisy no manners house... my bb suffered sleepless night (waking up every 2 hrs - not her usual) crying non stop. the next day, stand infront of harvey norman TV - damn loud hor - sleep till mouth open big big !

 
Ann



my BB fell onto the floor from her 8 inches mattress, coz when she sleep nowadays she like to crawl alot with eyes closed,think thats how she fell, poor little baby..



I've been sleeping alone on a single mattress..den Hb sleeps with bb on a Queen size mattress.I will shift back to sleep with hb & bb tonite so that she wont fall from either sides

 
hahaha, here we are complaining about our ILs and asianparent shared a quote about grandparents and grandkids getting along well. lol. in this kinda mood, i was totally unreceptive to that quote :p



this is the quote -

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along

so well is because they have a common enemy." ~ Author Unknown



sounds like a quote our ILs would love.

 
cherry: its true in a way... hahaha ! As we see ourselves when we were young... my parents doesnt like the idea of my grandparents take care of me. wherever she (my mum) goes, she bring my brother, younger sister and I along. So I think I resembles my mum alot ! hahaha!

 
Sito: Ya.. good for you to shift back to sleep with hubby and bb so that even if bb drop, she will drop onto u or the mattress and not onto the floor.



ica: Isn't the answer obvious? Wahahaha!!!

 
Ann,

hoping it's not! hahaha...how can this author say that...it's good no name is mentioned. i'll sure whack that person. maybe still single so can say something like that. hahaha!

 
sito: i slp with my bb n HB in queen size bed.

Squash my HB up most of the time leaving him no space to even turn.(giggle) starting abit tough as HB not used to bb slping next to him so he "hit" bb few times till i place bolster inbetween, but still happen sometimes so I now put bb on the other side using bb's cot to block n bolster as cushioning on the side(cfm will not fall off) so HB hit me I pinch him (pinch neh neh there or his waist area!) (giggle)

 
hahhaa sue think its becos certain things parents are quite strict with their children(for their benefits) then they will sainai with grandparents who will secretly allow them to do things which parents disallow...

 
quartzie,

that is so true. some kids also have their fave grandparents. my 3yo niece prefers ah mah over ah kong coz ah kong caned her. so niece told her ah mah that she is ah mah's granddaughter and my baby is her ah kong's granddaughter. LOL - jealousy rearing its green head

 
quartzie: i'm closer to my mum in comparison to my grandma who's really a BIG NAG. lol. so i disagree with the quote.

some more thinking of my ILs makes me hate the quote even more :p



once (during my emotional confinement period) i snapped at my MIL cos she was like, let me manja your daughter la. next time you have grandchild then you can do the same. i said, i won't wait to have grandkid then i pamper. i can pamper my girl now :p

 


Beannie, where do u stay?

I kept thinking u look very familiar when I saw ur FB pics.. think last time I saw u board the train at city hall.

That was long time ago when we were still preg.. cos when I preg I tend to look at other preg women, see tummy same or not.

Haha!



My baby sleeps with me and hb too, but she sleeps on the side. I put bolster to prevent her from falling off too though she still cant flip yet.

My bb takes up the most space! Hb also kena pushed to the edge by us until he keep asking me to put bb back in the cot.

But too late.. i cant sleep without baby beside!

Every nite, she will sleep until whole body diagonal with her face buried in my arms or armpit. Hahaha! I tell hb she need to smell me, cannot separate us!

But my hb’s snore really power. Loud until can wake my bb up. When he snores I will pinch his chin or put my whole palm on his face.

 
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