(2010/07) July 2010 MTB

Morning ladies! I am on leave today to wash bb clothes, prepare bb room, pack hospital bag...yeah, extra long weekend for me. It's week 35 for me already. Time flies!!



Ann: Glad to hear you are OK now. Do take care ya?



Burping BB: Agree with Sweetkiss. That's what I learnt from Mrs Wong's class too. Just cupped your palms and pat on their shoulder blades, not up nor downwards.

 


Hi mummies



Do PM me if you'd like to order any Hong Zhao Jiu for cooking your confinement food. The wine has just been made and is available from this weekend onwards.



Thanks.

 
Yep I also learnt that you just need to pat the baby below his shoulder blades, towards the left of him. They say if you do correctly, 4-5 times of patting 100% will burp.

 
Ann - the last lesson was on breastfeeding & bottle feeding [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
jasline

singapore's number 1 brand is similac, followed by enfa



choosing fm is a choice lah from parents... one of my fren decided to let her DD drink friso bcos son also drink friso so, no good or bad FM. buy what u think is best for ur bb according to your financial situation [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
heard from friends who are already parents that we need to register for preschool once baby is born so that baby has a place when it's time to go to kindergarten. is that true?!

 
Thanks for letting me know what the last lesson is about. Breastfeeding and burping.. ok la.. hope i didn't miss much.



I think I won't go for talk tomorrow then. Stay at home and be a gd girl since I still feel contraction once in a while. Better to be safe than sorry.

 
ica

u intend to put baby in school from what age? i think ur frens are talking about popular pre-school like pat's, chiltern, shaws...



no need to be kiasu... go chk out the school after they turn 1 if u wish to put your child in playgroup or childcare...



also, like to share that our kids are born in "unpopular" zodiac years... no issues with pre-school placing... i heard kids born 2007/2008 difficult to get into schs... 2009, easy, 2010 even easier!

 
ica

sorry, disclaimer... if u r talking IFC, some need to reg soon cos v popular in certain estates... so hv 2 do research now for ifc...

 
hi blue skies,

May i know how much you are selling for "hong zao jiu"?

Currently i have 2 bottles of Dom, 1 bottle of ginger wine, is it enough for my confinement ah?

 
Hi Serene - Looks like we get worried about the same thing with regards to staying wit in laws.. This AM, my MIL just mention that she doesn't wan to do BB shower.. Haiz.. I was thinking in my heart, shouldn't they consult me first before deciding for us, as parents.. Anyway, if they dun wan to do, I will still do for my own friends and my own relatives.. Maybe do it at a chalet or what.. Haha..



Then, when packing on BB clothes, she start to "instruct" me where to put the BB clothes so that she will be able to reach.. Actually, I know she has good intentions to help but I'm really worry that she will take for granted that I will leave BB to her care when I'm around or after my maternity leave ends.. Cos, I intend to enrol the BB to an infant care..



Yes, talk about educating ILs.. I think it might be hard, at least for me... Cos my MIL is the autocratic kind.. I pin no high hopes on that & hope all will be peaceful.. Ya, things like no water feeding cause bb will be water full and wont feed on bm and causing her weight to drop... They won't understand too.. I also dun intend to water feed.. Btw, till 3 months? Then we can feed water, is it?



For, lift upgrading, agree that it's too loud, may cause damage to ear drums or scare BB? So, is there any other place to place BB for day?



Btw, are you just temp staying wit ILs for ML? Or are you waiting for your flat to be ready? Mine will be only ready Q1 2011.. Can't wait for the day to arrive.. Then, only me & hubby & BB.. Yeah...



LOL.. I also have this wild thought like you.. If I cannot tahan, kenan post natal D, I will also run away from home with my baby...

 
Morning ladies,



Am on MC today (again...oops). Didn't sleep for more than 4hrs yest cuz BB was moving so much & "violently", then I had to wake up @ 4.30am to eat something cuz hungry.



By the time I got bk to bed, it was almost 5am...then by 6.30am, alarm went off & I cldn't really get out of bed :p

 
jelly,



what's IFC? sorry, me not well versed. i din know in Spore it's so competitive! i was having dinner with a couple whose baby is due June 2010 and that was what they were told. and i was like "do we have to? seems too early - nursery is like 3-4 yrs away!"



i want my baby to join a playgroup but not too early as babies tend to fall sick easily when put in an environment with lots of other kids, as told by my cousin - she's a PD. so am trying to delay as much as i can but not too late, if not baby has no social skills and hard to mingle/adapt

 
ica

ifc - infant care centre.



re: pre-school

bcos i kinda miscalculated by #2's birth month, i had to now send my #1 to childcare. i did some initial research but had not time to go down to the popular schools like pats and chiltern, hence, sent my #1 to my first skool aka ntuc childcare...



u can start placing ur child in school when he/she turns 18mths for playgroup or childcare. most of my frens are starting their kids at kindy next year. some when they are turning 4 so yes, ur frens are not alone. there are some kiasu parents who wants a place for their kids at popular schools and waiting list can come up to a year or so...



yes, sending a young child to a centre will introduce germs to them, but on the other hand, it helps them build up their immunity [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
IFC is infant care if i am not wrong? if u intend to place baby there must register early. I have been to 2 schools to check out in Feb & already have to be placed under their waiting list because there is no vacancy.

 
keer13 -- im permanently staying with them.. now hoping i get picked for the BTO.. haizz.. im alr having probs.. cause FIL jus made the yao lan cloth for bb and we had initially agreed no yao lan.. then now he say bcause my niece and nephew also got yao lan then the head will be round blah blah blah.. i jus walked off...



im very bloody pissed la... heng ur MIL tell u where to put.. my MIL shifted my ENTIRE cabinet out to the living room and ask me to shift the things out of the cabinet and find a place to put then make space for my bb toyogo drawer without even asking for my permission!!



im sleeping in the guest room of a 3 rm flat.. no space liao still find what space to put the things lei? cant they jus wait for me and hubby to discuss?? i am super irritated...

 
jelly,

oic. thanks. no, not planning to put in IFC coz my mom will be helping me to look after baby when i get back to work. ya, one of my frens also placed her baby in playgroup once she's 18 mths. but baby was down with flu, very bad case and have not been attending the playgroup fo 2 wks. then my fren kena, now her hubby's turn. we went out for dinner together and my hubby kena but recovered fast. luckily din affect me. phew!



Sweetkiss,

ya, have to be super early. another fren has to be back to work after 8 wks ML, so started searching last Dec for IFC near Raffles Place/Tg Pagar and put her name on all IFC's waitlists. she's due in June and only recently got a confirmed place at Cherie Hearts, RP

 
Hi Serene - Sorry to hear about it.. Like they say, 1 mountain is higher than the other mountain... Your ILs are so "XXXX""".... How can they decide what they want to do with the BB for u? I also don't like yaolan so I told my MIL - nope although she did suggest. And, they shift the cabinet for u.. Wow.. That's ultimate... Think now, only ur hubby can help you on this... Ask him to talk nicely to ur ILs & hope they won't insist..

Like you, I'm also living with ILs at 3 room flat.. Super cramped.. Wit the BB cot & my queen size bed, no place to walk now..



I totally understand how you feel but cool down, for the fact of BB.. Let's just hope things will change & pray for miracles.. If really cannot tahan, might be time to consider just to rent a flat outside.. Hey, maybe we can consider renting 1 together? LOL!!!

 
This is from June mummies [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]SOME DELIVERED IN MAY



Maybe this was shared before but i missed out. my friend told me that the chinese name for fenugreek is 葫蘆巴, 胡芦巴 (googled and got it from some website) and that we can easily get it from chinese medical hall. told me not to waste $$ buying from places like GNC. apparently, what she did is that she was throw 2 tablespoons or a handful into her red dates drink during confinement and it helps with milk supply. i was also told yday but another friend who didn't believe in red dates tea initially that after she started to drink it, it really helped with getting rid of her water retention.



all the best to mummies who are popping soon

 
Mummies i also stay in 3 room flat. 2 rooms, 1 living room & a kitchen. Both rooms got queen size bed and furniture. So imagine how cramp now my house.



Hubby some more tell me baby sleep where when out? Playpen we also cannot think of a good place to put. I told him middle of JUne all must be ready cause i might deliver on early July if BP cannot stable.



I am seeing my Gynae Kelly Loi on 18 June 2010 morning. I hope to extend my HL till 30 June 2010. Back to work on 01 July 2010 till labour kicks. Than see her every one week and i hope she can induced me by 7th July 2010, BB will be 38 weeks.



Praying hard things can be turn out smoothly as i never experienced any unnecessary pain or emergency through out my 1st and 2nd sons.

 
jelly,

ya lor. i was thinking "what! another headache!" after hearing what my friends told me at dinner last week. baby hasn't even arrived and have to think of registering for kindergarten. sigh..some more when my mom arrives, have to apply for long term visit pass and that ICA hotline useless one. kept calling but always engaged



i've still some eeny meeny stuff to buy and seems like not much time. dunno why, i have this feeling that i'll pop in 6 wks i.e. 11 July, though my EDD is 21 July

 
CT: Sounds gd to be able to stay at home.. hahaha..

If your gynae extends ur HL and u induce on 7 Jul, u only work for a few days within 3 mths…



For me, it is definitely out of the question to be on such long leave before I deliver... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Definitely affect bonus & increment as my company is very performance based.

Even when taking leave/MC, I have to think twice because I dun wan my boss or colleagues to feel that I am using my pregnancy as an excuse to get away from work. Neither do I want to add workload to my colleagues who have to cover my job duties when I am away…

I am getting increment next mth and I can foresee that it will be very little.

Because ever since my pregnancy I have been away from work for at least 1 day every month.

 
keer13 -- im ren-ing now lor.. ren until cannot ren then i will flare one.. now must tai jiao.. so i loon... once bb out, i will kpkb liao.. haha...



initially FIL requested for yao lan.. then i was thinking, ok la, maybe give and take.. then bb first mth cannot yao lan ma.. so maybe bb sleep on the bed with me and hubby sleep on the floor..



later on, he say dun wan yao lan, ask us buy a cot bed.. then ok lor.. bo pian.. go buy a cot bed and totally cramped up the entire room... nvm, for the bb, we ren lor.. next thing i know, he went to make the sarong for yao lan!! ARGH..



i blew off at him la.. then MIL say "u also need a place for bb to sleep ma" i was thinking.. sleep in yao lan bb where will wanna sleep on bed? bb is not like an adult lei.. they will get used to it one ma.. tmd..



my MIL knows i dun like fish smell.. then she starts to make all the dishes with fish.. her food is ridiculously hard to swallow.. it also applies the same to my SIL, hubby and BIL.. imagine a hungry preggie walk to the kitchen, see the food.. then start to nibble small portions nia.. (which actually explains why i only gain 5 kg thruout the entire pregnancy)... if i tabao, dun eat or eat outside, she will kpkb and mummble to herself.. i hate it totally la..



imagine i tell her, "mother, we saw bb move during ultrasound" she dun believe.. my hubby had to tell her.. "ma, we are not in 1950s u know?"



when i tell her i pregnant, she also dun believe.. she say i miss 1 mth nia, how can be pregnant. must wait 3 mths at least. i couldnt be bothered.



when i had my #1, it was a boy.. viola..! i gained 11kg thru out my entire 30 weeks of pregnancy..



now, everytime she will tell me negative things like...



1. dun eat choc - later bb black black

2. cannot sit on the floor - later bb leg sprain

3. walks out of the house, goes to my corridor and see what speed is my fan... and starts to tell me nonsense

etc etc etc etc



she was the one who do not allow moving of furniture in our room.. and later, she was the one who instructs FIL to move that cabinet out of our room when we went to my neighbour's house!



haizz.. my MIL is the typical TVB drama serial MIL la..

 
CT -- yeah, at first i also want to get it done only by mid june.. then as i packed and sort.. i realise that my energy level super LOW.. so i got everything ready at the mid of May..



no space also must make space lor.. i was telling my hubby that we cannot expect bb to sleep in the cot bed alone in the living room right? and i dun wan ILs to cheong to the bb when bb crying.. if bb in my room, at least im in control..



now me and hubby having second thoughts of having the next baby in a year's time cause i dun even know where my bb girl is gg to sleep when she starts walking! haha.. super ke lian..



even a BTO also have to wait 4 years... how to get a flat fast when u dun have much spare cash...

 
80% mother inlaw cannot get along with daugther or son inlaw.



Never tell them straight to the face that we cannot agreed to it. Always talk to our dear dear, explain in logics and brainwashed him. Only he can sweet talk to his parent. And after his sweettalk never works than we take ACTION..



Dont because of them, we feel sad or we feel stress. Not worth a cent.



We are parents of our ownself now, so our kids future we decide not Them.



Be positive, and draw a straight line telling them not to cross the border... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
MIL Matter: I think hoh no matter how good MIL and DIL are, they should never stay together. Cos see each other often, sure alot of problems will occur one. Cause in the end, still not her own children. That's why I told hubby if we wanna get married, we buy our own house. I still remember my FIL suggested we move in with them till we find a house. They can renovate my hubby's room. Luckily my hubby stand on the same side as me.



Maid: My in laws and us went to maid agency last Saturday to choose a maid. Hopefully dun later come in and tell me after 2 weeks, she dun wanna work liao. I will faint.

 
am v thankful my MIL is in JB... and she is the hands off grandmother... all she wants to do is go travel.



there was an inccident my MIL even asked me if she could feel her grand-daughter fries... i almost flipped! but i am secretly happy she asked me, not that i will be very unhappy lah if she feel my #1 w/o asking me...

 
hi Serene,

last time Mrs Wong told us bb better dun sleep in "yao lan", no good for their back..

maybe u should tell ur FIL abt this..

Anyway,always think +vely and enjoy ur every moment of your pregnancy oh =)

 
Serene, I feel for you! I know how it is like when the in-laws does things against your way.

Sometimes, old ppl can be very contradicting one lah.

Whatever u tell them, they wont believe.

But when their friends/neighbours tell them the same thing, they will believe lor.



Maybe initially ur FIL agreed with u not to have yao lan, in the end hear ppl say yao lan is gd la, etc so he went to get it.

I guess his intention is good so he feels that he does not need to discuss with u. that’s what I think la.



Last time my MIL said want to do confinement for me, last min dun wan and ask me to get a CL.

As I cant get a gd one, my mum offered to do for me.

Since my mum is helping, it is only logical that I move back rite? I cant possibly expect her to pop into my in-laws house in the morn & leave at nite what.

Somemore if she cooks or wash for me, she will also feel more comfortable using her own kitchen, pots & pans than my in-law’s.



My MIL very happy to know that I am moving out at first.

Then dunno why recently she kept complaining to me that my hubby’s family very “no-face” that I do confinement at my mum’s house.

I asked her what she meant by that and she dun wanna explain.

My guess is that she is afraid the neighbours think i am being mistreated by them that’s why I am moving.

And she is so kan-jiong to prove herself that she had already bought all the confinement wine, tonics, herbs, & even angpow to my mum!

Even my mum was shocked!



But it is so common what. My friends feel more comfy when their own mums do confinement for them.

Most of them also move back.

Compared to engaging CL or getting ur mum, who dun wan to choose own mum?

 
sweetkiss

to share with you, i had my mom do confinement for me. i can tell u she was not the easiest person to get alone during that 1 month period and she also gave me quite a lot of issues... so no matter who is doing ur confinement for you, as long as u think u r comfortable, that is the most impt.



btw, my mom did not do a full confinement for me. she cooks for me and looks after my newborn when she is free. the rest, i took it up as new mom...

 
Carol - Baby sleep in Yao Lan will have difficulities in sleeping at other places.



So both my sons i told my ex mother inlaw no Yao Lan. Every where my sons goes during baby time easy to sleep. No cranky no need to shake or sway in and out like the Yoa Lan.



Only my ex sister in law uses it and her son only sleep on Yoa Lan not on other mattress.

She got to home on time so that bb can sleep in the Yoa Lan.



My tis baby with new hubby my new inlaw also wants yoa lan i told her no. I told her my two sons can survived without one so i dont need any of that stuff to control my kids life.



In hospital where got yoa lan. Bb sleep in flat surface no pillow also. She just keep quite and tell my hubby your wife modern type so no point talking to me ..

 
i also dun agree with yao lan.. so thats why i really am prepared to take care of bb by myself and make bb sleep on bed..i dun care la.. i jus wanna do it my way.. its my kid.. throw the suggestions and i will consider but doesnt mean that i will do it.. im open to advices but it must sound logical and realistic to me..



agree with the yao lan thing.. i dun wanna be swaying my bb left to right and cranky bb trying to sleep without yao lan lor.. seriously, its for my convenience not theirs.. they jus talk but i have to act upon and reap what is sowed lei..



the thought of all these really makes me feel disgusted lor.



MIL dun do confinement for me.. she cook the pig trotters because my FIL likes it.. so she will make use of the opportunity to cook for my FIL..



whatever thats cooked for me is also eaten by the whole family so it doesnt makes a diff..



so for the confinement food, my mom will cook and hubby will pick it up from her..



clothes, my hubby wash or i wash in the washing machine lor..



red dates, MIl jus boil like normal water like tat..



thats so much she does for confinement and she even ask for an ang bao for FIL and herself after my last confinement. i was thinking.. "huh? wat have u done?" but ok lor.. jus give.. i cannot be bothered.



speaking of ILs, seriously, its so bad that my grandma want to come up to my place and confront my MIL but my mom stopped her cause i still have to stay with them for a few more years..



heng my hubby is on my side la... if not life would be worse...

 
Sweetkiss,

Perhaps you can start saying good stuff about your MIL whenever you see your neighbours lor, like she bought you all the tonics, wine, etc. so she can feel good and have a bit of face. some old folks have pre-conceived ideas of what's right and what's wrong and no matter how we the younger generation tell them that their ideas are not right, they won't believe us, unless other old folks tell them, even strangers!



once my MIL mentioned that i could use the yao lan for the baby, so i told her, not good for baby's spine and i'd be using a cot. wah! her eyes became so big, and she looked at me and my hubby and said "why, Melanie's (hubby's niece) spine no good meh?!" we just kept quiet la - no point arguing with her. but she also din force it on us



old folks mean well, just that their minds are already set, so hard to convince them. last time no antenatal classes, also no internet, so they're not so well-informed

 
ica -- yeah.. my FILs obviously thinks that if it works on niece and nephew, it would work for mine.. but i explained to MIL before.. last time morning sun downstairs is good for jaundice but now, due to the hole up there.. direct sunlight is not good and we must sun bb indoors with a window to block the "bad" stuff away.. and mil was like O.O



FIL wan yao lao to "shape" bb head but truth is.. bb's skull will not take its shape/harden until 5 years old.. so bb is gg to sleep yao lan for 5 years meh? nonsense right?



well.. best is.. im arnd to stop all these la.. i can ren but i wont let them experiment on my bb..

 
jelly,

i agree with you. because we are our mothers' own daughters, they can tolerate our behaviour/tantrums



my mom will also be doing confinement with me, so i hope i won't have arguments with her



guess what! i'm not only becoming more absent minded, but blur as well. this morning, i put some red date tea into a tumbler, meaning to take it to work. only when i arrived in the office, i realised that i've left it at home, but i didn't know where! then just this afternoon, i opened up my pack of Anmum materna and realised that i've bought the wrong flavour! i'm used to choc, so this vanilla flavour really puts me off and there's some kind of weird smell. yuck! i try not to breath in when i drink it

 
ica -- sometimes when i think of the silly things due to my forgetfulness, i will laugh at myself also.. jus like a min ago, i tell hubby im gg to refill water in my bottle.. (holding the bottle in my hand).. then i put the bottle on the table in my room and walked out.. and i sat there and think what was the reason i came to the kitchen.



when i recalled, i walked back to the room and couldnt find the bottle.. then hubby reminded me and i started laughing... he shake his head also... lol

 
Serene,

tell your FIL that sleeping in yao lan won't make baby's head rounder, if that is what he intends to achieve coz hubby's niece slept in yao lan and her head is quite flat. in the end, MIL had to rub her head to try to shape it rounder and it helped to a certain degree. for round heads, need to let baby sleep on her sides but must be on constant watch whenever you do that. if not watching, let baby sleep on her back

 
Serene,

that happened to me too! like 1 min, i'd remember what i was going to do, and the next min, i wd forget entirely! hahaha! i hope this forgetfulness will be temporary

 
ica -- yeah, this is also how my nanny brought me up de.. she got tell me that when let bb sleep on the sides, make sure bb ears are placed properly so bb will grow up with a pair of nice ears.. dun wanna think about it liao.. the more i think the more pek chek i get



its temp la.. but will prob "recover" after a few mths after we deliver.. keke..

 
jellypurin

agree, i am close to my mum so whatver happens i know i can always tell her directly. so much more freedom of speech.



I cannot let my MIL take care of my baby..

Her own 5yr old is so spoilt & pampered I feel like slapping him everyday. (sorry I am very mean)

Well but maybe she wont treat my baby so “good” la..



I watched Supernanny on telly and learnt kids above 3 should already stop using sippy cups, and use normal cups for drinks.

But my bro-in-law is still drinking milk from milk bottle!

My MIL even brings full gear out like bottles, hot water, milk powder container, his pillow whenever we go out.

Just like a baby!

She also brings an empty plastic bottle for him to pee so he doesn’t have to go to the public toilet.

At night, he wears pampers to bed. I dunno why she refused to let him learn.



When I said I will train my kid to sleep on her own when she is older and stops waking up for night feeds, she said I am very cruel!

 
sweetkiss -- my aunt's a nanny and she says that got a kid's parent.. they dun allow their kids to go public toilet cause of the "germs" and till now (5 years old), still on diapers and they also cannot this cannot that.. faint..



empty plastic bottles? 5 years old?? OMG..



my MIL, till now, still use scissors to cut the food into FINE pieces and stir in together with the rice for my niece (10YO) and nephew (8YO).. i stopped her and tell her its not good for their jaw formation and when they grow up.. her reply to me was.. "i dun even know if i can live that long to see them grow up!"



she is making things a lot more difficult for us who will be taking care of the kids when shes gone! argh.. okok..



serene is having an emo day.. boo hoo..

 
I have been living with my inlaws for 8 years now and have gone through the downs of confinement as well.



My advice is there is often no absolute right or wrong. At that point in time, those things that we stick by and insist upon, may not be entirely right as well or it serves no great purpose. So being less stubborn with our ideas, being more open is probably the only way out of the situation.

 
Jellypurin: precisely! i dun wan to say anything cos it is her son & I dun wish to interfere. I did ask my hubby to talk to her, else the kid cannot learn but my hubby said he has given up as MIL always believe her kid is still small…

He is already a brat now. that’s why I said I feel like slapping him sometimes.

And when he cries, really irritating, every little thing also cry. Dun do homework, cry, the mum heartpain & ask him to play for a while..

End up, after playing, he say he wanna sleep so the mum put him to bed.

Homework not finished, next day need to go sch, she panic and go around asking neighbours for help. (she dunno English)

Recently, she also let him skip 1 week of sch cos they went holiday.

I told her, like not gd to let him skip sch and she said he is in K1 only, nvm one… Primary 1 then more impt.

Totally wash my hands off her!

She even brought stroller to her trip so that her "baby" doesnt have to walk too much.



Serene: wah, that parent also very extreme leh..

yup, sometimes on the way out and my BIL got urge to pee, she will take out the bottle and he pee in the car lor.

But now become very bad habit.. even when we are waiting for the lift to go home and he starts saying he wanna pee, she will quickly take out the bottle for him to pee in the lift. I mean, no harm waiting for another 1 min after we reach home rite?

 


Hi all mummies,



just went for my 35-36 weeks checkup with my gyne today coz of BH for last 1 week & pelvis bone very pain, bedrest 2 days on bed & is abit better.



BB is 2.87kg today but I lost 1.5kg since the last checkup to today.Total weight gain for me is 6.2 kg, is losing weight normal in last stage of pregancy???



Dr did a ultrasoundscan for me & told me my bb's heartbeat is very fast today so he asked his nurse to do a CTG scan as he is rushing for delivery to TMC.



Glad that my bb's position is ready for birth but Dr said cervix not dilated yet sian...have to bear with BH & pain the a few more weeks.

 
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