(2010/04) April 2010 mtb

ming,

thanks for your advice.

i hope J doesnt give me any more trouble, sends the chq and we are all done.



talking to her leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

 


zz, not bbdust leh.. it's her DH refuse to move! hahaha...



Bbdust, so did you rebutt him? kaoz! what see your attitude then dun want #2.. dahz. You never quarell with him ah...? Wow.. you super can lun leh... Tell him dun test one's limits ah... the ugliest thing will happen. (this is what i told my hubby the last time when i super duper cannot lun oredi and i used that sentence to end a quarell).

 
elmo

hahhha idea hor [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] that day ah boy nearly threw his camera on the floor cause he let him play with it, aiyah i shld have let him throw until spoil instead of stopping ah boy



dazz and cellow

nope i didnt ditto back, i just diam diam loh.

 
Re: maid



My fren's mum hired that maid direct from Myanmar to help her sis. So that maid did not take loan (her mthly pay is $400!!). The agent who helped apply her permit, air ticket, etc is the maid's relative, thus, admin charges were kept to the minimal. My friend has asked the maid to call me during her off next month. I will see how, after toking to her. Abit too good to be true. hahahah.

 
bbdust,

what you hubby say to you is what sometimes i will say to myself with regards to hubby. but mine is #3 instead of #2. i won't say it out to him but just to myself.

 
sonshine,

[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] wat a wonderful way to start off the morning.

pls come in more often. the more we chat, the more we can encourage each other in our motherhood journey. god knows we need the affirmation!

 
dazz

go talk talk to the maid to get a feel of her [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] but dont trust what they say lah they are trained to give u SOP answers haha, everything also yes can can can end up all no no cannot. alamak



celyn

seems like we all got problems here and there hor. really 家家有本难念的经， 伤脑筋哦

 
bbdust

that's very interesting.

How come your dh dun wanna move?

Can have all the privacy in the world!

Or he can't bear to leave his mum, still wanna enjoy the comforts of eating home cooked food and not doing house chores?



Maybe it's time for u to hassle him to move!

There are new flats coming up, go for a ballot lor

 
cellow

hahaha i really thank god got this forum to let me let off some steam sometimes if not i will ki siao soon [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



I really must thank all my wonderful mummy friends here for taking time to read my fras, encouraging me and giving me brillant ideas on how to solve my probs, not forgetting tips on taking care of bb [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] It's been 1 year plus that we get to know each other, many more years to come [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Happy friendship [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
zz

cause its convenient loh, ah boy got mummy take care



hee we can only buy 2nd hand HDB flats [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi cellow

Hehe yes will try to come in more often [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] it's true that we need to encourage n support one another so as to stay sane heehee

 
bbdust...probabaly cos yr MIL still taking care of stuff like hsehold chores, cleaning etc etc that makes yr dh unwilling to move out....continue bugging yr dh with all the +ve stuff abt moving out ( in my own words "relentless execution" )..yeah it takes plenty of time n lotsa patience to get dh to buy into the idea but dun give up cos its for the good in the long term eventually.

 
Hi Dazz,



U want to sell house is it?



Hi mommies,



Actually ask you all hor, does staying 1km/2km means anything in the ballot round for pri school? Like for my niece, she stayed 1km from Nan Hwa Pri School in Clementi, but the slots left for the 1km round is only 30 students and got 120 students ballot for it. So does it mean it is not a guaranteed thing?



Any mommies ever studied or have feedback about stanford pri school at Lavender?

 
rurucat

from my understanding hor, staying within 1km does not gaurantee u a place in that school now leh.



woofy

no choice loh got to continue brainwashing him.

 
rurucat,

yes. staying within 1km doesn't guarantee you a place in the school. even staying within 1km and do volunteer work in school (both together) doesn't guarantee you a place loh.

 
Rurucat, hahaha.. not me selling my house. My hubby has a project on hand that's nearby. Location wise, etc very good. I would have bought it if i striked toto last friday. wahhahha. Thought just share in case some mummies really looking for one.



And nope, staying within 1km does not gurantee a place in the school now. If overwhelming response, still have to ballot. Being 1Km away only helps to increase the chance, or i should say, gives "priority" as to those staying even further.



Stamford Primary, haha!! My hubby's primary school~!!! it's been around for a long time. haha.

 
bbdust

why only resale flat?

firstly if u move out then leroy can go to ccc.

U dun hv to worry abt ur mil letting him fall again

secondly let's say u buy a resale flat, get somewhere near ur mil if u guys still wanna enjoy the comforts of ur mil but I think only ur hub enjoy not u. :p



rurucat

ur niece may not get the place cos she falls in Phase 2C. Means the one nearest to the school starting from <1km,>2km.

If say 30 place but 35 kids apply staying <1km>2km can forget abt it liao

 
To up your chances:



Phase 1 is for those who already have siblings in the school. They are given top priority. Either that or u or your dh are alumni of the school.

Phase 2A are for those whose parents are in the grassroot ,etc etc that kind.

Phase 2B, the highest chance u can try for is to be a PV.. Even in Phase 2B also not guaranteed one.

Say if only 50 slots given to Phase 2B and there are 60 applicants, it will be based on distance then down to ballot.



Hope this info helps u ok

 
zz

burst the income ceiling. yah he is thinking of buying around BIL house so can bring ah boy back home and let MIL take care, but I doubt MIL wont chu pattern again, wait suka suka tell me she dont want to take care liao then faint. there was this time he told me why not ask his mum to come stay with us then i told him like that ah, then dont buy whats the difference?

 
bbdust

There is a difference!

Difference is that the flat belongs to u.

Morever if u don't buy now, flat price will just keep increasing. U would also wanna own a property too right?

Living under people's roof is not as good as living in your own kennel (chinese saying)

 
zz

also burst 10K. that is the only difference i can see loh at least house is ours but with MIL around like no diff like that haha [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
bbdust, actually ah... i think will have difference leh. Because, now you're leaving under someone's roof.. anything happen, might get chase out... but if it's your own roof, who can chase you out?? see... must get own place la.. even if wanna continue to stay at BIL's house also must buy a place. In case ma... it's your shelter leh.

 
bbdust

Sorry if I may sound like a bitch lah but definitely better to move out than to contd staying with bil.

Living separately is always better.



I may be staying away from my mil now but when she grows really old I would have to put her up at my house! This is a fact that I cannot run but at least it's my house she is staying at.. I got louder voice mah..



When we were renovating our place, she had alot of comments. Imagine we paying she already like that. If she pay I think she will do boliao things. So somehow I'm glad we are independent to rely on our own $$. She told me next time when she sell the flat, she split the $$ between the brothers.

I told her u keep the $$ for urself, we can feed ourselves. :p Later take her $$ she become overbearing. Forget it!

 
Hi Zz,



Thanks for the information on primary school. I also totally agree with you abt the louder voice issue. There IS a difference between staying in the IL's place and IL staying in your place. The psychological strength to stand up for one's right is stronger in your own place.



I also will let my FIL stay with us when he is old (but cannot imagine how I will react???!!! I just pray that when I am in my 40s, I will become mellow and more accommodating towards my FIL's ways of things. Haiz..... Now with my temper, I think it is Mars hit Earth situation if he stays with us.

 
bbdust

dazz is saying what I meant.

Property prices will just keep going up. If u don't buy now, u will pay more next time.

Choy touch wood lah, when ur mil pass away liao what are u gg to do? I mean she's not like she can live forever right? I supposed she is already 65?

 
Hi,

I've been a silent reader of this forum since 2009 as my EDD is Apr 2010 but my #1 boi came out earlier in end Mar 2010. Did not join in for chat here as I have no access to pc at all time and cannot keep up with the treads here (go so fast) :p



Have learn a lot from the mummies here. Thanks. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



I have a tin of Mamil Gold 2 (400g Exp:03Jun2012) to give to away for FOC. Let me know if any1 is interested.

 
Hi BBdust,



I can understand ur Hb's reluctance to move. Now I look at myself, sometimes want to go pak-tor or short holiday with my HB also nobody takes care of my gal. I don't have MIL and my parents take care of my brother's 2 kids. Quite 'sad' when I think of it sometimes, becos I don't have anyone to turn to at all. So i guess your Hb also scared like that in the end if you all moved out and ur MIL got angry.

 
rurucat

u are not the only one!

syzygy will know this :p

We stay all by ourselves in Bukit Batok.

My mum & the nanny stay at Queenstown. My #1 goes to my mum place and #2 at nanny place. Both kids looked after by different people. We bring them home on a daily basis.

The last hoilday we had, both kids followed us all the way thru. Trust me, it's v hard to leave ur kid behind and u go hv fun.

I did that twice for work trips when #1 was 5mo.

IT WAS HELL for me.

It's v tiring but at least it's my home and I get to do what I want, buy what I like, eat what I cook and stuff my fav food into the fridge. Watch my own tv programs.

 
Hi Celynee,



I think the type of volunteer work offered makes a difference. I heard branded school prefers parents to offer services like legal advice, fund-raising event expertise like gala dinners, IT knowledge etc, not the mommy librarian/teacher aid/admin etc volunteer work. Haiz....

 
rurucat,

that i'm not sure. didn't find out anything about volunteer work cos i'm not going to be so wei da to do that for my children to go branded school. :p



i also have nobody to take care of my children if i want to go any pak tor session with hubby. so anywhere we go sure got the kids with us. unless take leave during working hours and go but its not possible for hubby to do that. so pak tor with 2 light bulb loh.

 
ZZ

Haha... like you i wouldn't want to trade the freedom of staying in my own home just hb, bb (+future bb) & me [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



In any case I don't feel like going on holiday without bb syz. That's why we bring her with us on our road trips to Malaysia.

 
Dazz: Re tao nan school and property there. My hb and i are thinking of it. he is keen to move there. The question is when. Sigh, cos i really not keen to move. Why you ask huh??



Bbdust: guess need to talk to hb find out why he not keen to move out. it does increase cost la, cos you have to pay for yr own flat, plus send bb to CC and kiv maid (or do h/w yourself) some more. if you are really unhappy then it might be a small price to pay lor. my hb says that HIS happiness is dependent on MY happiness, which is dependent on conflict with ILs which is dependent on the frequency of contact. so going by that logic, at this point in time, there is no chance we are staying with any ILs. however, there is a HUGE difference whether we had shifted in to my ILs place when we got married vs if my ILs shift in to MY place later on. cos my place everything i say. bottomline if you really want to move out is to continue searching for CC and HDB and he will get the hint.

 
maddie

i guess u are right bah, its the increasing cost and the inconvenience. Now we no need to do anything once we move out got to do everything though we got helper but still to him its more inconvenient therefore he prefers to stay than move.



yah now i am looking around, though he does look around also but after viewing the houses, it always end with no conclusion.

 
maddie,

" HIS happiness is dependent on MY happiness, which is dependent on conflict with ILs which is dependent on the frequency of contact."

hear hear! i took Mr C thro that logic myself.



staying in own home

we side stepped that issue completely since there is no way my parents are staying w us and a whole sea separates me and the ILs. agreed b4 marriage. just as we agreed b4 marriage that christmas is celebrated w my family and CNY w his. fair and square.



i hv ever broached the topic w MIL. going by current life expectancy trends, likely FIL will go first.. then .... how?

she told me not in so many words that she wouldnt get used to life in SG, so she would be staying in MY by herself. and that is her opinion now, but shall see when the situation arises.



i dun mind her staying w us when she is older. she can teach the boys things that Mr C and I forget to, or dun have the time/enthusiasm for. there is a really special relationship between grandparent and grandchild when everything works well tog. beautiful to watch and observe.

 
Bbdust: *sayang*! Guess if there was an easy solution u would have found it long ago. Depends on how hard u want to put yr foot down then.



Cellow: yup it is thinking about the future that gets me worried. My mil not like yours lor.

 
Maddie: why I ask? Like I said earlier, I saw a project that's being sold by hubby's company. Love it! It's extremely near to Tao Nan. But sadly, boh tio toto leh. Haha. I'm also helping hubby to find out if there's any interested party. Haha

 
bbdust, *salute*!! your tolerance level really very good. Hubby is very fortunate to have you. He beta appreciate it. =)

 
dazz

LOL, but i do have times when i get so pissed i screamed at him hahha



HJ, ruru, ming

how is JG playnest? fun or not? its a pity i cannot sign up my boy for it if not can be playmates [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 

Living with ILs: My in laws live with me too as some of you who have visited know. I work so it's not so bad as we don't see each other 100% of the time. Plus my MIL does help out with Baby E so I am pretty grateful. BUT, we do clash sometimes, usually over parenting philosophy. My mum also comes over 3 days a week to help out and hang out with the grandchild so I have to mediate over differences between the styles of parenting between the grandmothers. Still, I grew up with my grandmas living with me so the notion of living with the in laws was not too difficult to stomach.



Lucky thing is that we can all retreat to our own spaces since we have separate halls, bathrooms etc. I can imagine the potential for conflict if we have to share! At the end of the day it's my house and I get to the set the rules. I think that makes all the difference.



Buying property: My 2 cents' worth - if you are buying freehold, just go ahead and buy. There is no way to time the market accurately and if you are buying to stay and not to speculate, it should be fine. Anyway, land is scarce in Singapore so property should go up in the long-term. Anyway, even when prices correct, you will see that the "low" is still higher than the "low" in the previous cycle. So, buy now if you find the right place and have the financing in place.



Schools: My understanding is that living within 1 km is not good enough for the hot schools. You have to couple that with parent volunteering and/or even church connections to be more assured of a place.

 
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