(2009/10) October 2009 MTBs

hi WW
thanks, your words spoke to me. you're right. im so busy with the juggling act, work and a 2+ year old son who i give so much to. i am so sapped at the end of the day, what more now with no maid, and no one to help, we are cooking/washing amidst of cos feeding, playing reading with leon, and still being high energy and happy around him cos he deserves that, not a tired pregnant grumpy mom. my days r soooo short. i work till 6 sharp, pick him from childcare, feed him, cut veg to standby to cook the next day for him, somewhere in that time feed myself, put clothes in the laundry, hang them, bathe leon, read to him, pat him to bed, and then crash myself.

my diet over the past 2 weeks of MC consisted of instant noodles, and frankly im just too tired n sian to eat. i need my own time, ie, just a breather to shop/spa/watch movie ...
 


thanks kkbt.

i guess i feel sort of terrible, cos since the maid left, i have not gone church as sunday mornings we go wet market to buy leon's fresh foods. in fact the past weekend mothers day also i didnt do anything for my mom as im just sooo busy all the time.
i recognise that i am a perfectionist in some areas, like raising my son, so i go market, read to him no matter how tired i am, feed him everything also i try to do myself. work too, i feel vvvv awful that i am so slack nowadays. i am sure no one is talking, but i feel like everyone is talking ..

hope this will all passs ...
 
and i feel lousy about myself. like you mean no maid, i like will die? it is a v sad truth if that is the case.
but truth is, my hubby also busy with work, and son and hubby all fall sick same week i had the CVS, it was trauma for me.
i been thinking too much, as you gals can tell.
i wonder if i should stop working for the sake of the pregnancy now, but that would be silly right? not getting my 4 mths maternity pay.
then i think i should terminate the pregnancy since i cant handle ..
SIGH im driving myself to tears again
 
Hi pups, since God has blessed u with a bb now, HE will definitely provide. I'll keep u in my prayers.. Do u hv close christian mates? Talk to them
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Thru them, u can definitely find GOD talking to u. =) Take care..
 
pupsandcups (pupsandcups)

Hi i understand ur feeling now too, i been facing alot of problem nwsaday too. I oso been crying occasionally these days. U r right loh, the problem is there, even i keep telling myself not to think so much, take it easy, oso useless. Oso think of terminating my present pregnancy once b4... Some more during pregnacy, we tend to be emotional not stable, tend to cry easy, n once cry so hard to stop... I dun1 post my prob here lah, make other mummies worry for me or pity me or what... I oso not gainning much weight duriong the 1st-3mth, but i oso remind myself must eat my multi vit for BB. This mth start to gain so much weight even thought dun feel like eating. Do take care, if u feel something not bery right abt urself, so seek for prof consultation or conselling.

I did read at other post saying thay are high risk too, but after some test n monitor, bb turn out normal leh, so stay calm now. If doctor comfirm really DS, den normally they will ask whether u wana continue the pregnacy or what. Think u need to do more other test b4 doc do that.

Justlike what ww say, leave it to god loh....
 
U have oreadi gone till this far, i dun think u have the heart to terminate ur pregnacy noe, especially when u can feel him moving so strong these days....
 
hi glad

thanks, didn't realise i would get support in finding my footing with God here.
i been in a shell not talking to friends or anyone the past 2 weeks and that definitely did not help.
every night i tried to read psalms, but i dunno, words don't speak to me, but there is a time for everything, and you gals have helped me remb god is hearing me even if i don think so.
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thanks joanne

forums do help in lending support to one another. i also feel like i try hard to count my blessings, and stop focusing on the 'sway' recent events ... hopefully all this will pass and once we deliver healthy babies, we can all be glad we made it.

i called kkh like 3 times today about my cvs results, they obviously know how gan jiong i am.
 
i think good to have other mommies
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i dunno if due to my hormones or what, but i find my single friends n i have less and less in common, and most of my friends r single! so ive just shelled up.

mommies i think really know what it means to have kids. my friends tell me if they become mommies, they definitely won give up their social life (this is in response to me like turning down appts, cos as much as i wan to b fun and cool, i just have NO energy for it), and i feel v offended, cos not that i dont want to watch movies, go out for drinks and all that, i just really have no energy lor. one of my frens told me to join the womens10k run to feel better. in my normal life, i ran the half marathon last year, but right now it is beyond me .. wish they would understand

gosh this is the first time in how long i have become a chatty person again.
 
pupsandcups: sometimes it good to talk things out to someone, anyone, be it your close friends or even just people on a forum like this one, coz when we are feeling down, everything can just seem so negative.
sharing your thoughts/worries with someone else may help you to see your situation in a better, more positive perspective.
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It good to find some support from people similar to ur prob, speak to them, get their opinion n etc, go search the thread regarding DS n speak to them, i think u will get more comfort from there...

Haiz... it like that, they are still single of cos they say this, once they get married with kids, they face same problem like every mother here. Normally mother are tied down by kids unless they are oreadi big enough. I used to say that b4 too b4 i married, but now... hahaha.... It difficult to make a balance toward social life n marriage life.... unless they are those parent who bo chap their children. My frenz say she got no life outside after got kids, so got a maid, end up 2 kids throw to maid, the couple go disco, pub, enjoy themself bo chap their kid, 4yrs n 20mth old. n my frenz went out meet lot of guy n got into affair which HB duno. Just recently heard she discover his HB got affair too....
 
When i hav my 1st child, i did told my hb that i got no life at all, so my hb agree to look after my son in the night n i go drink a few cup with frenz to relax, then morning i continue to look after him... Say say only... after a few night of not getting enogh sleep, coz sleep late due to clubbing, waking up early to look after son, wea got energy.... End up i rather look after kids at home. But it true somethime we need to go out alone to destress ourself without kids around. I do that by going window shopping with hb, hb bribng my son to toy shop play, i continue with shopping, but now pregnant, walk awhile oreadi panting like mad, as well stay hme hahahaha
 
joanne,

GOSH... i guess to everything there is a balance. i do believe once in a while mommies need some time off quality time. do manicure, go on dinner/movie date with hubby. when i had maid, i did once in a while go out. like late dinn, 9pm when leon sleep then watch movie, n sleep in the next morning. n if frens bday or special occasion, i will try to join them. but NYE parties all this hard core partying, i think minus kids, just beyond me lor. i think cos i have no added support, and im working i need the maid. i also like to go for early morning run, or when leon naps my hubby n me will go for nice lunch somewhere or catch a movie. right now i feel like cleaning vomit, bathing him, talking thomas the train is wearing me thin ....
 
pupsandcups>> hearing about your case, i really feel for you.. i know its not easy for us to tell you to look on the bright side of things coz all these words are easier said than done.. i went thru a very rough patch just a few weeks ago as well, but compared to yours, i realise mine is a small case..

try talking to frens and to us, it helps to rattle all out.. it wun help if you keep things to yourself, talking about the problems help a lot.. really.. hope you will get better soon! remember we're all here to give you the moral support!
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*hugz*
 
shugar: agree! people would have different experiences and perspectives on the same topic.. so must talk to the right people. pupsandcups definitely made the right choice typing out loud here..

joanne: oh dear.. i'm sorry.. but i think they are very selfish.... hopefully they go through this situation now and learn their lesson..
 
i guess we all have to learn to balance pleasure and joy.. it must have been a joy to see your children grow up well... not seeing the rewards doesnt give us the excuse to let ourselves down to pleasure so as to satisfy our own desires..

joanne definitely made the right choice to take care of her son.. i'm sure he'll appreciate you lots in future when he grows older.. same for pupsandcups..
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that's y we have mother's day to appreciate all mothers who shown us unconditional love!

i'm feeling very touched by all of u mummies who sacrificed ur time and youth to care for your child. kudos to all of u!!
 
thanks all you sweeties!
i dont feel alone, and i think feeling alone is the scary part.

i try vvv hard for leon, and think of him all the time at office. actually i am really sitting on the fence re: being a working mom. i think in due time i will work part time, esp when i have more kids. financially, my concern is my parents cos my dad not in good health and spent a lot in recent years for him, i constantly worry what if something worse happens? sadly he not insured, so i don have a net to fall on, so i always feel like i must earn. my hubby can support the family but dont think he can support my dad.
also everyone send their kids to montesorri and all these enrichment classes, dam stress man. i send leon to presbyterian community services childcare. then next time he will go ACS cos my hubby old boy, im sure i will peng san from the stress there.
sometimes i think it is just in singapore. poeple feel guilty on MC, and like as if money rules our lives, when truth be told, it should b our family.
 
Kkbt,

Actually must thank to my Hb, he is that type of man who doesnt go anywea excpet going down kopitam n drink afew cup of beer 2-3x aweek with frenz n oso promoise to come back ard 10+, make me feel secure in staying home to take care of children, not afraid he will go out find other gal. If not, i oso 1 go out n be happy, n dun care abt family, he got life i oso 1 life.
 
joanne

i truly pei fu SAHM it is not an easy sacrifice and job. some single fren told me super mommies are those who can juggle their work, spend time with their kids etc, but seriously jus cos in the news got a lot of super working mommies, it don make them better.
my only concern is $$, i am not that poor but sometimes i just really worry about the wat ifs, also i earn same amt as hubby, so is like half our household income gone if i stop.
ok im stressing myself again!
 
That right, $ is the concern loh... Once i stop working, must give up some of the luxury which i own last time, seldom buy clothes n cosmetic as n when i wish, no more branded goods... but all these seem ok for me, cos i am very simple person. Just feed me 3meals, n can support family can liao, no need live big house, big car... My hb earn not many oso, after 2rd one out, wow... more tight... Cant afford to save extra saving every month like b4 le... Sometime my frenz who is oso a sahm told me, she rather got to work, it not abt $, it about having time alone without kids...
 
pupsandcups: hha.. okk.. God will provide for all your needs!
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that's what i embrace on lah. my bank always $0 one. sometimes i also dunno how i survived through the days. but somehow people will buy me food etc.. and for this pregnancy, i only spent on gyne.. even baby's cot, the milk pump, baby's clothes and car seat, i also dont really have to pay.. cos my sis pass down.. plus my MIL offer to sponsor for the confinement lady.. so i do believe God cares for our finances.
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joanne: the above applies to u too. hehe.. and i'm not exagerating about mummies like u.. its really a sacrifice to put aside what u like to do for the sake of taking care of a child..
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pupsandcups,

hope your CVS results turn out fine. if you ever feel down or think of terminating your pregnancy, go and read the "trying-to-conceive" thread. then you will realise that you are lucky enough to be able to even conceive.

of course if i were put in your situation, i would be anxious too. but i'm trying to tell you to focus on the good things and tone down brooding on the bad. only you can help yourself and i think if you let yourself spiral down that bad trip, no one can pull you out.

seems like you ought to have a good chat with your HB and ask him to chip in to help. if not, you'll just crash. i feel like you are already 200% in everything that you do now with your #1. but if you cant cope, you should let someone help you. and your HB should chip in, no matter how busy he is with work. if not, can you hire another maid soon?

take care and pick yourself up. but also, take some time to breathe. and let others help you lighten your load. we are humans, not mother robots.
 
haha.. was just thinking.. if i'm not pregnant, maybe someone here can hire me as part-time maid. then i can earn extra bucks..

but then again, if i'm not pregnant, i wouldnt really need that extra bucks.. so why would i need to be a part-time maid??

hahhaa... i find it funny thinking of it..
 
kkbt: alamak! hahaha, funny lah you!
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btw, did anyone watch In the Womb on the National Geographic Channel last night from 10pm - 12pm?
it was really interesting and eye opening and it really made having a baby feel like a super miracle!

Lynn: did you catch it? coz it was showcasing on multiple births last night, very applicable to you.
 
happy hippo,

ur word seem to be comforting to me.... I am suspecting my son to be autism, but still small, doc cant prove till he is older, so no point crying since cant be proved but keep asking god bless my son. i often go into thread abt other disable children, it make me feel more comfort that if touchwood my son is autism, at least he can walk, run n live normal, unlike those born cant walk duno due to what..... we just need extra support from other experience mummies out there, so pupsandcups (pupsandcups, pls think positive, go to those thread for advises...
 
Pups, always believe tat the Lord is with u n sharing ur burdens too.. Spare a few mins at nite in ur prayer to him.. U'll be suprise tat u might even cry to him.. Pour all ur sorrows to him.. U definitely feel better
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The Lord be with u always.
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baby glendon,
we have a close fren whose #1 is autistic. but luckily early intervention, he's been seeing therapist and all. by now about 5 or 6 and is way better than when he was 2. can interact with other kids well too. so maybe can seek some specialist help? i'm not sure of the details, but it was another fren who is running a childcare centre and studying early childhood who spotted it. so if your son is still young, try and seek help soon. can cure one. my fren's son is shinning example. so there is hope yet.

also, just wanted to share this with pupsncups too. there is a down syndrome child living in my block. and you know what? he only looks different. but his behaviour is very much like a normal child. in fact, somehow i feel very warm when i see that child. because he is always trying to say hi and wave and talk to me in the lift. perhaps he is a milder case. but i felt like if touchwood i have a child that is down syndrome, all is not lost because there is a living example of one which is pretty normal and lovable to me. so take heart.

and always look at the brighter side of things and dont forget how fortunate we all are! there are couples who cant even conceive so how lucky are we?!
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kkbt,
you damn funny lah. why u wanna be part time maid?! but then again if be my boss' maid i dont mind man. she brings her maid everywhere she goes. NYC, NZ, etc. i dont mind free holiday with my m'am. hahahaha...
 
happy: haha. yeah lor. actually ah. i enjoy cleaning up the house leh. just that it gets a little tiring and mundane sometimes. but its satisfaction....

and i'm soooo blessed and lucky to have a husband who actually likes to clean up the house!! haha. but he doesnt keep the house neat.. i'm the one who's keeping things he took out.. haha..

about down syndrome: these kids tend to be very friendly with people. they are basically normal in many aspects. only a little slow in certain areas. of course we all want normal children.. but even if they got any problems, we, having the maternal instincts, will still love them the same.. right? haha.. but its hard to accept lah. really need people around to support also.

life is amazing. :D
 
spent almost the whole day touring maid agencies. i am so freaking tired i think my legs are going to give way soon. luckily i chop chop carly pok. shortlisted 4 for my empress dowager, call her to come and see. she also dont waste time, picked the same one as me. so we're all set for the new maid to come. damn tiring.

stupid MOM, u know if you are new employer (as in first time, for my case) you have to take a stupid online test??? so that you dont abuse or torture or slay your maid. DUH!!! like that's gonna deter anyone...

phew... such a tiring day.
 
eh kkbt,
so when you free? my maid gg on holiday soon. u wanna come my house help?!
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i feed you while you are here lah. oh, while you're at it, can you bring some nice coloured rocks too? ;) bwahahahahaha...
 
hippo: haha.. u wanna me be maid-cum-salesgirl at the same time? haha.. i thought u just got the maid? just because MOM got u to do the online form, u got to send her on a holiday first???
 
kkbt,
hahahaha... no, maid #1 gg home after 2 yrs. but coming back. she gg to be my CL. #2 is for the real chores. cos we moving back to mum's and brother getting married staying there too. so big village in that house. got to have 2.
 
Hi happy hippo,

thanks.. my son is seeing therpaist nwsaday to speed up his speech. Thing are improving now... I just hope he is just slow in his speech n nothing wrong. N his lack of eye contact maybe is due to lack of socialise as he is the onli child, no interaction between him with other so like that. He seem all normal n infact smarter than my frenz son, onli prob is speech n lack of eye contact that make me worry. Playing with his cousin are no problem too, knw his abc, colour, phonic, transportation very well,we ask him to point. Nw we are learning to speak more to him, create conversation with him, get lot of tip from therapist n that really help.
 
hi all.. peeped for a while. soon to knock out..
and guess what? i fell today! scaped my knee.. fell forward.. and my whole weight on my knee cap.. haiz.. well .. dunno if got sutain any internal injury. we will see. i seldom fall.. quite a careful person. :S but was walking in a carpark.. i thikn the water puddle laced with oil? SO slippery! haiz..

joanne: congrats on the good amnio results.. so no more worry for u liao .. and a girl?! omg, i am JEALOUS!
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pups: i have had depression like you befre.. post natel.. and like you, nomatter how my frens told me i'm fine.. i dun feel fine.. and to be very honest.. unless we snap out of it ourselves.. we are still stuck in this rut.. so.. taking the first step to see a pyscharist is good.. they prescibed me with some tranquilisers that time.. but i dun think it is advisable to have it during preg.. take some camoile to relax yourself? lipton has some good herbal infusion which is caeffine free.
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remember, que sera sera (what will be will be), focus on the present.. and appreciate the wonders of life.. you are not alone, we will be here for you.
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astro: oh dear! Hope your knee is doing fine! I had a fall and scrapped me knee not long ago, and man does the wound there heal slowly coz it bends often. Hope yours is just a mild graze. Take vit c to help it heal faster. Take care n walk carefully. We're all carrying precious cargos!
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re: dang gui research ;P
hee..i went to eu yan sang bring sample of dang gui to confirm.
1. yes its dang gui
2. no, its not like totally kenot take when preggie. take bit bit can. not too often.

Ong : no need to worry. hee :p

astro : take care. thank God you r not injured badly.

kkbt : isn't that good? ;) a lot of Christian mummies. v uplifting to hear encouragement that is absolutely true. sometimes just need gentle nudge, reminder, encouragement
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hippo : orhh..
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i oledi printed out e details. will go food hunt when i there.

joanne/pupsncups : hang in there. jia you. God gives all mummies supernatural abilities. You will pull through.
 
morning all.

hippo,

wah.. 2 maids? very siong leh n sure got lots of "conflicts". i did consider 2 maids since i got preg with #3 but the tot of handling "politics" at home too, puts me off.

joanne,

sometimes kids grow up at different stages. if therapist says no issue, den dun worri too much. My #2 doesnt want to talk even tho those ard his age has been saying words. but at times he will blurt out words tat surprise me, eg, last sun he blurt out "diesel" while holding on to the diesel engine tat i bot for #1.

pups,
I am a mother of 2 super active monkeys who climb up n down the sofa, table n jump down! i m currently preg with #3. pls dun ask me how come i hv the courage to hv #3 haha. mayb cos i long for a gal? tt's y try the last time? my hb all the while wanted 3 kids, so this is the 3rd n last preg i will go thro. am lucky in the sense tat i have my PILs + my maid to help look aft my monkeys. but then, life is not so simple. when i first deliver my #1, my MIL wanted to distance mother n son! den immed aft i deliver, i have gall stones attack which required immed surgery! i dragged the surgery to few days aft my son's full month. my 1st maid at that time played politics in my hse. when my ILs are at home, she is a super good gal. but behind their back, she even tried ordering me to do things! well well, who is the boss??!! she loved to bring my son to the room n kept telling him "mummy no good" faint right? i heard tat. i quarrelled with hb so many times that he finally gave in n sent her back to her home country! immed aft tat, the house became "quiet".
for the 2nd preg i have pre-clampsia n on the day of delivery my BP was 180/100! had to have an emergency c-sec. i was crying all the way.
for this preg, i m super worried cos of 1) age, 2) previous pre-clampsia history 3)#2 not growing in my tummy the last few weeks n 2nd opinion gynae say to note if my #3 will have the same thing or not. but i never wanted to give up this baby. even tho my MS lasted fr 6pm - 6am (no food by mouth, not even water), n i do have occassion tots "y m i so stupid n get preg??", but i keep scolding myself. my darling is innocent. is not tat he/she wanted to come to this world. We brot him/her to this world. he/she has the rights to see the world while i have to protect him/her forever especially when in my tummy! so i told myself, worse case, let my coy sue me for not being able to perform my work. haha worse case, go gynae n get BED REST! oh ya, not forgetting the part that i have boss who demand a year of statistics within 2-3 days! i have staff who chit chat too much n cannot finish work, end up i have to do it for them??!! yet i still come into forum to complain, to relax, to joke ard
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this is life! take things at a time n dun wori too much!
 
baby glendon,
thats great then. they will recover and integrate well one.
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baygon,
hey hope you're fine. u wearing non-slip shoes? luckily u fell forwards, not backwards. eh busy playing restaurant city isit? u say addictive i never add yet hor.
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mylvera,
well, no choice. cos we will have 6 adults, 1 baby, 2 dogs, 3 cars in a 3 storey house. if dun get 2, a bit siong on 1. and i'm sure #1 sure surrender and go back. in any case, we din have intention to get CL, so getting a 2nd maid to help with general chores, while #1 help me with bb is a natural choice.

i wun condone politics between the maids lah. unfortunately for #2, if she aint up to scratch, then we will replace. cos #1 is too good and auto pilot one. so we can lose her. anyways i am the boss in the meantime cos i will be at home mah. even my mum will be at work. so tough luck for them. hahaha...
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gal,
so did they tell you why dang gui cannot? all the elders at home want to make dang gui for me. but i din really take cos i dun like the taste.

xoxo,
hey babe, did u manage to speak to colleen? if not i can call her for u.
 
baby movements / kicks
can experienced mummies describe what it feels like huh? i'm feeling more "tugging - like bb is pulling my muscle from inside" around my lower abdomen and belly these days. then feel like very mild stomach cramp (i think this is cos uterus expanding). cos i swaku never experience b4. would appreciate it if some kind soul can sorta describe it for me. tks tks!
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re: bb movt/kick

it can be really a hard kick by now (as what i experience for first 2 preg) or it could be like wat i m experiencing now. fluttering type of movement. sometimes if i dun do anything n concentrate, i can feel it "swimming" inside the tummy. but when i lie down n my tummy is lying on the bed n bb is there too, i can feel the kick against the matteress.

so far, my this bb is still very gentle. n kinda small leh...at week 17, only 10.2cm?? faint. mayb i din eat alot. i went to buy big underwear yday .. looking for EEL n the salesgal said " u looking for whose size?" i reply "mine". she looked at me n say "u dun nid EEL. let me measure yr waist now." i told her "no nid measure cos not accurate as i m preg" haha she got a SHOCK!
 

Sorry for late reply! Was so busy yest..

sweetzinc: I went to Bodywellness.. they got pre and post natal massage..

kkbt: ya better dun take too much.. better be safe than sorry.. just "REN" hahaa
 
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