celine:: your hb is just owas hvg 'biz-lunch' with them.. dat's of cos perfectly fine. but i dun agree with u on wat u said that "but as long as nothing mushy of their sms.......should be ok"! of cos not saying that we cannot communicate or joke or watnot with frens or colleagues or clients or associates of the oppt gender once we are attached or married. however, i tink there's a limit to it. bottomline, to put it simply... i tink it's a basic courtesy or respect to the partner/spouse of the other party.. like in this case, deedee who is wife of the hb. let's not try to imagine if there is something else going on between them or not at this point. i still feel that deedee shld let the hb noe that she's is hurt to learn abt the r/s (note: at this point is juz talking abt constant msg'g n nothing muz beyond).
i believe for deedee.. her situation now.. is... very much she wans to let her hb noe she's aware of their sms, n wana let him noe hw hurt she felt.. yet duno hw to bring up to him cos he doesnt know she read his msg...
i noe there're definitely more to fear n worry to bring it up to him then to suffer in silence:
1) to start, he might not like it that his phone was 'intruded'!!!
2) they're juz being very friendly n tan de lai.. n y is the wife being so sensitive n xiao xin yan!
3) wat if they admit there were really smting else gg on.. hw to handle n wat to do next?!?
that's y.. alot of times, we girls will keep quiet, suffer in silence..(ok, we do talk to sm frens)..but ultimately.. in front of the man, pretend nothing is wrong..pretend smile...n smhw beyond our control....we still hv this doubt floating in our mind..constantly..constantly......making us imagine tings.. etc... if not controlled.. this will bubble up to some kind of hatred someday de.......