(2009/08) August 2009 MTBs

morning mummies..

hi smurfy,
i understand ur stress.. i am too.. my gal only wans to sleep with me at night and refuses my hb. when he gets near her she will cry but she is ok if im beside her.
on e other hand, i'm not comfortable letting my in laws sleep with her.. i will get paranoid not knowing if she is sleeping well in their room..
so fan..
 


smurfy

did u get a CL? Don't worry abt such things now coz it's beyond us. Who knows maybe he'll love bb too.

For me, i'm not so worried coz there's still Daddy.
happy.gif
Maybe u should start to let Daddy spend more time with him. Do boy's stuff like bathe, play with balls etc. Let them build up their relationship. Even excuse yourself, give yourself a day's break to do whatever u want outside and let the 2 of them bond over the weekend.
 
smurfy, u having a confinement lady? Ur CL can focus on the baby and the other family members on your boy... that's what I did when my #2 arrived. I got my ILs and hb to spend more time with #1 since I can't....
 
mich/mashy
i am having the CL..

kpc
my boy onli wants me to bath? sometimes at my mum's place.. he will say "wait for mama to come home n bath".. how to squat n bath him and change his diapers during confinment?
 
Morning! I wish it were Fri hehe

celine

Oh just realised that u've delivered. It was b/c of the low amniotic fluid? Good that ur BB is drinking more. He will be out soon as long as he gains enough weight. Jiayou ok!

babymaking

I dun even know what is AFI???
 
Re colostrum,
I massage the nipple (although ppl said it will induce contraction) fr 32weeks onwards to stimulate the outflow of colostrum during last pregnancy. The nurse can hear my #1 gulp down the colustrum on 2nd day of birth. I told her i did massage the nipples b4 labour and she said 'good'!
 
smurfy

then all the more u need to start now. Get your hb or whoever to bathe him. Children needs to be coaxed. Get them to play toys with him during bath time so that it's fun for him. Hand over all the things that he wanted u to do solely to other pp. U need to let go too. If he needs to cry it out and say things that u don't love him anymore, u still need to harden your heart and let him be. After a few days of crying & protesting, he'll grow up and get used to it. If u give in everytime he fusses or blackmail u, then it's neverending. U'll be in for trouble when #2 comes and CL is not there anymore.

U need to let him know who's the boss. U or him.
 
i also want to deliver as early as possible - but very worried that we make the wrong choice if bb end up have to stay in ICU or need long term care.

cos compared to week 34 & week 36 pre term baby - week34 babies have higher chance for lung issues now and chronic in his life...also for boys, may have undescended testicles which will needs operation.

the risks of the above happening is about the same of having bb hb drop.

i'm taking it one day at a time..cos really no other way.
 
hi smurfy,
will u be opting for c-section? how old is ur boy? my cousin had c-section and had e same prob with her gal (age 2).. she only wants mummy to bath her so bo bian gotta squat despite e pain n touch water too..
 
Confinement Lady

WBB is making me insecure abt my CL. All the funny practices like rocking BB violently, washing the inside of the ear canals, not washing their hands the SARS way b/f handling BB/food, re-using the cotton ball for wiping eyes, wiping genitals from back to front.. aiyoh...
 
babymaking

my hb had undescended testicles when he was born. Even though he was a full term baby. And it didn't affect him in any way other than his need for operation. I think hb drop is more dangerous.

As for lung issues, u can take a jab in the thigh to mature the lungs. My boy also has asthma, but he's slowly outgrowing it. I think many kids have asthma nowadays anyway. Regardless of whether full term or preterm.

And, my gynae said, during contractions, the body releases a chem to mature the lungs faster. So with so many contractions of yours, i think your boy probably is already trying to grow quickly and mature quickly to be ready for birth.
 
kpc

haha, if my boy insisted that i bathe him during confinement, i will just tell him, 'then fine, don't bathe'. ;P

jul
don't let WBB get u down. Not all CL are like that. I've come to realise that WBB's words aren't the bible. U can't take every word she says as if it's God ordained.
 
kpc...
my boy 2.5 yrs old.. how abt ur girl? shld be having normal delivery.

mashy
ehh by the time i reach home every evening frm my mum's place oredi 9pm+ oredi... just wanna to settle him quick....before i take my own shower which by then is ard 10plus.. and the silly boy waits for me to play some more (sometimes he even stands outside my bathroom door to wait for me argghh) or before falling asleep in his final moment.... it's onli weekends that i have the luxury of time..and we succeed last sunday with the daddy blowing bubbles.. and me sitting at the toilet bowl watching them :\...and most weekends, i am still busy bringing him out.. so coaxing him to bath by daddy vs a faster job done by me.. i chose the easier way out .. haiz.
 
kpc

haha. yah. I must admit i'm pretty tough with my boy. I won't give in to him, coz i need to let him know who's the boss here. of course if it's a small issue, i let him win sometimes. But he knows when mummy says something he better do it. He can cry and protest for all he wants, but after he's done crying, he'll have to do what i said. Maybe that's why he prefers his daddy. haha. Coz less strict on him and plays with him.

Sometimes he's just not ready to do certain things becoz he's in the midst of say playing his toys or reading his book. So we'll ask him if he's ready. If he says no, we'll say ok, then mummy and daddy will leave the room now until you're ready. Tell u, it works very well on him. After we leave, in just a few mins, he'll come out and says he's ready for the next thing in line. I guess diff kids will need diff mtds, u need to see what works on your kid and what will touch their raw nerve. My boy is afraid of sleeping by himself.
 
smurfy,
my gal is 1.5 yrs old.. im opting for c-section so definitely cannot carry her during e 1st month of recovery.. seriously i dunno how much she can absorb e fact tat she is having a didi soon.
like u, i also take e easy way out, if she wanna sleep with me then just out her beside me and she will fall asleep liao.. just tat it gets uncomfortable each time she toss n turn and tries to sleep ON me.. im just worried tat after didi is out and my gal continues to sleep with me, how am i going to bf? scratch head..
 
smurfy

that's the prob. U need to let go. You are not letting go. So what if it takes longer time? U need to let daddy do his job too. By taking over everything just becoz it takes lesser time, you're creating probs for yourself. Somemore, your boy will need to learn to be more independent like dressing himself and wearing shoes etc. If u do everything for him just becoz it's faster that way, he'll never learn. I let my boy wear his own shoes even though sometimes it can take 30mins just for him to do it.

I actually learnt this from my hb. :p I used to do everything for my boy. Until my hb stepped in, let him wear his own shoes. Yes, it takes more time, but it also helps with his motor skills.

And, don't take away daddy's time with him. Let Daddy spend time with him. Even if it means having to coax him. Do u know that daddy's bath time with their sons are actually very important bonding time and it will help them in their emtional development in their future years? I saw this in a pc of news a while back.
 
wow mashy,
i salute u man.. u r one tough mama.. i'm usually e soft hearted one coz i believe in reasoning until i really cannot tahan, then i will discipline. so far it works for my gal.. tat's why i tend to get upset with hb for not bonding enuff with her to catch her 'character'.. so it can be quite difficult for him to reason her behaviour at times.. any way to make daddy less distance from her?
 
mashy..
my boy wears his own shoes lar :p.. he's doing some things himself lor ... the daddy got spend quality time with him..daddy is still the one flashing cards and reading those cheena books to him while i bath... it's just that during this pregnancy and change of maid..he wants my attention
 
kpc..
i oso reasonnnnnnnnnnnnnn with him.. and it's sooo slow n lor soh to keep repeating the same thing... ppl ard me surprise that i never lose my cool with him (coz i am well known for my fiery temper).. kekeke
 
smurfy, when there are two kids, your boy will become more independent. Like mashy suggested, do try and let Daddy help out in those areas you can't anymore. If you take over, Daddy won't have a chance to practise.
 
mashy

if can avoid, will want to avoid any ops on baby, as it's really very heart breaking to see bb in pain AND knowing that you can avoid all these issues IF we have TAHAN during this period of time. what's 2-3 weeks of worry/ constant monitoring ...compared to a life time of regrets if bb need long term care?

re: lung issues
it's not just asthma but breathing complications, which the neonatal doc went into details. even thesteriod jabs is no guarantee of lung maturity.

anyways, the concensus is that the longer bb stays in me, the better it is for him.

now triyng to remain sane, and not trying panicking whenever bb moves...or dun move. *wryly*
 
mashy, the same method works well on S too. If she isn't listening, I will tell her, you have to go to your own room till you are ready to listen to my instructions. Then she will sit inside there and sulk and cry. Later when we go back in, I will ask her again, if she is ready to listen. Usually by then she will be guai guai and listen already ha ha :p

Oh teacher shirley tells me she uses the same method in school on her too ha ha ha. If she don't do her work properly and up to standard, teacher shirley will insist she re-do and S will end up crying. When she finishes crying, she still has to re-do. I like the teacher's style!
 
kpc/ smurfy

at this age, u can't reason with them. Esp during their terrible twos. Reasoning can only begin a little later when they understand consequences. That's why u see the failure of the ang moh parenting system where they reason even to young toddlers. They are too young to understand. Reasoning comes in at a later age. I feel that disciplining methods need to be be changed according to the kids' age to suit the circumstances. Just like u can't punish a teenage to a noti corner, similarly, u can't reason with a toddler. He won't understand that green veges are good for them, he just knew that it tasted bad. Now i'll reason with my boy a little more coz he's older and listens better. I'll ask him back why he can't do certain things and he can tell me why now.

Actually it's very simple to get daddy to be closer, just spend more time together. Do things that mothers don't do, like play ball, go playground, rough it out. Kids do love playing with their daddys. U just need to pass your kid over to them.
 
smurfy,
haha.. guess with our kids, we tend to boil inside but act cool on e outside..

mich,
daddy must 'want' to have the chance to practice then it will work. but usually guys have very short attn span.. my hb max playtime is only 10 mins..
 
mich mich
daddy's good in these areas of bathing n diaper changing lor :p.. in fact he's better than me.

hey girls
i bathed my boy less than 10x in his 1st 1.5yrs of life leh... it's onli when i become preggy and change of maid then everything changes :p... last time was my high classy maid doing bathing and daddy will bath him on weekends if he's free... i think same for diaper changing... i oso did minimal last time
 
bbmaking
i know everyday bb is inside u counts.. but u gotta be real careful k? why dun u continue stay in hospital :p. i always tot that's the safest place. got immediate help if something happens..
 
mich

hehe, i like her style too.
happy.gif
U can go on crying, but once you're done crying, pls carry on what u were supposed to do. It's good coz it makes the kids know that they can't get away with things just by crying.

bbmaking
actually, one of the reason for having my boy out at 35 weeks then was becoz i saw him playing with his umbilical cord during my 34 weeks scan! At that time, i felt that it's better to have a live bb than a dead one coz i've known of too many cord strangulation. Even happened to a forum mummy's gal who was supposed to be born in the same mth as mine.

Yours is a miracle bb. Pray he'll be well when he comes out.
 
smurfy
not really true that hospital is the best place - not enuff rest/bad nutrition/not to mention that the monitoring is only 3 times a day, the rest of the time, even if you have a contraction, the nurses will say...if it's regular...one in 5 min ,then let us know. i was like...by then too late already.
 
babymaking,
trust ur mother instict.. talk to baby..
if God gives you this bundle of joy, He will ensure the baby's safety..
 
mashy,
i did.. and guess wat.. he will then dump my gal to his parents (my dear in laws) in e next room or the maid at home.. u see, my gal has too many options liao..
 
kpc

oh, my hb also pushes my boy's tricycle to the market to buy breakfast on the weekend. Maybe can do that too? Or go swimming together?
 
mashy,
good idea!! oh btw, daddy is always travelling too.. so i guess tat also explains e distance.. anyway, will try to get them to bond together in due time.. thanks for sharing
happy.gif

going for lunch liao.. chat later
 
mashy/kpc
the gym thing is good.. we brought the boy to go-go bambini.. in door playhouse... the daddy took over coz there's no way we can climb the obstacles with them
happy.gif
... they had lots of funs for 2 whole hour.. and the following week.. the boy asked to go there again.. (Actually for my case it's the hb who initiated it the first time coz i can relax there while the boy can have some funs there)
 
mashy
yes, i can understand yr fear - cos we saw during one of the scans that zachary was holding on to the cord, but by the next scan, he let go already. *big phew*

if i had a choice, i will rather be strapped on the ctg 24 hr till birth..but it's way too expensive. the monitoring service is about $0.50 PER MIN.

**trying to convince hubby to bring Zachary out at 35 weeks**
 
mashy, yes at their age, they need a teacher who is no nonsense and strict or else don't know what will happen when they grow older!

kpc, hb's attention span has to be "trained"... after a while, he will get more comfy.

smufy, your hb sounds like a very good daddy, esp when he suggsted the playgym
happy.gif
 
babymaking

my boy came out at 35 weeks. 2.8kg.
happy.gif
He got perfect apgar score and the PD said he's full term bb even though he came out 35 weeks.
 
mich/mashy
he's good lar.. he bathed the boy and diapered change him more than me during the first 1.5yrs of the boy's life... he's the one cutting the fingernails for him now (kekeke i am not in for these kind of delicate work lor).. the problem is my boy with my pregnancy not meeee :p
 
carefreelife

Well, the PD said he's full term despite being 35 weeks. So i suppose it has partly to do with his weight as well. When we did the scan, he was only 2.5kg, so we were surprised when he came out 2.8kg.
 
Smurfy, I think now very difficult for us to bathe our son. The tummy is so hard at nite so its very xinku. I request my hb to bathe my boy if he is at home at nite. It started with alot of fussing and crying and my boy will keep saying 'mummy bathe' but I will just walk to the living room and watch tv and tell him I will wait for him to be done there.
So with a few crying and fussing bathing sessions, he got used to it with daddy bathing him. Although daddy waste more water by letting him play but at least I know I don't have to be so xinku.

My hb travels for work too so I will take over when he is not around. I haven't started daddy on going to bed with my boy yet.
 
smurfy

perhaps he's feeling insecure that there's going to be another bb to fight for your attn. Well, guess u can only take one step at a time. But don't go and squat and bathe him during your confinement. Maybe u can let him be the kor kor when bb is out, and give him simple tasks like handing over the diaper, the bb clothes etc.
 
mashy
u are lucky that the measurement is over rather than under and that C's organs are mature despite the early gestation.

no two babies are the same...as seen in the premature thread, some of the same weight & gestation or even later gestation & heavier weight got to stay longer in NICU or SCN.
 
Mmm .. i'm not sure if mine is colustrum leh .. cos it's not exactly white/milky colour. Just watery and it's not alot lor ... when squeezed, can see water forming from the ducts, den no more le. Well, i do hope it's colustrum though, so that means i dun have to worry abt breastmilk when bb is born
happy.gif
 
Wa ladies,

So much to read leh..
I jst glance a bit only.

Abt milk supply.. I think my one will be low also...

Also, I never go for antenatal class. So when should I start to go hospital when the contraction starts?
How many mins interval wor? Haha..

====================


Piggytoh

Induce also pain pain wor.. my god.. hehe...
I think maybe you can choose a date first while the doc checks on you.

Hey.. 18 July jst next day of mine. Hehe.. actually I wannna check on the 18 July one.. but doc not around that day..so change to 17 July

====================

SL

When is your due date?
Ppl also said the same thing to me that my tummy low liao and bigger than pass weeks... so very soon liao le...

They said if you felt pain between your thigh and also the private bones than very soon liao le...

Now I sometimes walk got a bit of pain...not always la.. but after meal normally its better...

Than now.. wa.. morning wake up like got urine cannot finished.. a bit want go pee..than I always tell bibi to move don press than better

====================
 


SBB,
dunno leh i heard induce is not painful 1 wor according to my sis n kolig but i tink individual diff bah... but compare to contraction pain i tink it nothin..no pt choosin a date now la cos dun even know if my cervix will be ok for induce... so gotta wait lor..
 
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