Porky
I think you can listen to sharon's advice, then in that case it will minimize the conflict between MIL and CL.. as for what "do's" and "dont's" it's very difficult to say really.. On your hubby's stand, he is a male, and it's difficult for him to meddle in this woman business so maybe u just leave him out of this matter..
My MIL will be doing confinement for me.. well the confinement here means she will cook for me and take care of baby...
As for cooking, hm.. actually we cant demand much as they are our MIL, but i told her i want to drink red dates + longan water, she will boil for me everyday.. and for breakfast, or lunch and dinner, i will also let her know what i wanna eat.. and she will cook lor, mostly it's soup (herbal chicken, liu wei tang, hong chao tang, or zhu du dang) + 1 vege / fried egg with ginger + steamfish/pork/chicken..
Breakfast is boiled egg + normal bread or sometimes i want to eat meesua then i told her lor..
MIL will help me to bathe baby, and sleep with baby at nite.. in the day, normally i feed baby myself, either direct latch on, or ebm.. one thing is that i have to wash the bottles, pump myself
My colleague told me last time her MIL meddled a lot in CL's issue, in the end she has to send the CL back after 2 wks, MIL will say, y never ask her to do this do that..., y she like that like that.. so in the end, she thought she will depress if being stuck in the middle, and she sent the CL back for good. Not to scare you, but this was what happened when she delivered her daug. the CL is actually very good in cooking, sometimes even cooks for her western food after seeing that she got so bored with the confinement food.