(2009/03) March 2009 MTBs
- Thread starter promeganate
- Start date
lizy, i think my girl is totally like vera. Same kind of standard.. It really pissed me off cos i can't stand that behavoiur.
another thing is that she has been bitting her peers, pulling hair since she entered school.
Teacher told me that day just managed to save one kid by carry that boy away if not will kena.
According to teacher, they say that if someone is blocking her way, she will bite that fren. I think she is too much. Really getting out of hands..
another thing is that she has been bitting her peers, pulling hair since she entered school.
Teacher told me that day just managed to save one kid by carry that boy away if not will kena.
According to teacher, they say that if someone is blocking her way, she will bite that fren. I think she is too much. Really getting out of hands..
pumpkinseed
Active Member
yiyi23, she likes to sleep tummy down. Hmm, I'll ask her if she has tummy ache. Maybe try diff temp for the aircon as well.
prosper, my monster is like that with me too! Very defiant, even gives me that type of sideways glance and smirk when she's doing something naughty. Somehow, she is better with her dad who tells me that his secret is that he constantly distracts her by changing to another more interesting topic.
Seabreeze, she wakes up on her own at 7am almost everyday and we know because she starts 'crying'. The only time she wakes up smiling is during weekends when she naps with us on our bed. Actually, I think I just answered my own question haha. Big hugs to your little one!!
lizy, you're probably right that she just wants our attention. Someone else mentioned the whole separation anxiety issue and that's probably a contributing factor. We're all fully recovered now thank goodness. It wasn't anything serious but it does tire the whole family out.
scrumpee, no harm to bring to speech therapist but like what some others have said, kids develop at their own rate. I personally know of this boy who is so so quiet. By 3 yrs old, he was saying only a few words. But we realised later that it's just his nature, understands everything well, can read or speak when need to. He just didn't want to for the longest time!
prosper, my monster is like that with me too! Very defiant, even gives me that type of sideways glance and smirk when she's doing something naughty. Somehow, she is better with her dad who tells me that his secret is that he constantly distracts her by changing to another more interesting topic.
Seabreeze, she wakes up on her own at 7am almost everyday and we know because she starts 'crying'. The only time she wakes up smiling is during weekends when she naps with us on our bed. Actually, I think I just answered my own question haha. Big hugs to your little one!!
lizy, you're probably right that she just wants our attention. Someone else mentioned the whole separation anxiety issue and that's probably a contributing factor. We're all fully recovered now thank goodness. It wasn't anything serious but it does tire the whole family out.
scrumpee, no harm to bring to speech therapist but like what some others have said, kids develop at their own rate. I personally know of this boy who is so so quiet. By 3 yrs old, he was saying only a few words. But we realised later that it's just his nature, understands everything well, can read or speak when need to. He just didn't want to for the longest time!
chocolate15
Member
lizy, i can identify with almost all of what you're saying.. my boy does the same things! like walking towards the switch/plug and looking at us while he does it although he knows we already told him before not to do it.
Agree about the attention seeking thing as well. My boy attended infantcare since he was a baby. At the age of 18mths, he switched over to childcare at the same centre. The early days there were terrible.. other than the crying (separation anxiety), childcare was a totally different routine from infantcare. There were more kids and hence he had much less attention than at infantcare. He became violent and would throw his water bottle on the floor and throw his shoes around and behave like a kid gone mad. Hubby figured maybe he craves the attention he used to have at infantcare.
We tried to spend as much time as we could with him although it's quite hard being full-time working parents. Gradually, that behaviour seemed to have "subsided" and he seems more "calm" now. Kept having to explain to him about school and talk about school in a positive light and teach him not to throw things around. Really have to say and say and say.. sound like broken tape recorder..
This month we just transferred to him to another childcare which is nearer my mum's place so it's the adaptation cycle all over again! Other than the separation anxiety bit when i drop him off in the mornings, he seems happy there and the teachers say after we leave, he's perfectly fine!
Prosper, maybe your girl at childcare might be feeling the lack of attention hence her behaviour change in school and at home too.
Agree about the attention seeking thing as well. My boy attended infantcare since he was a baby. At the age of 18mths, he switched over to childcare at the same centre. The early days there were terrible.. other than the crying (separation anxiety), childcare was a totally different routine from infantcare. There were more kids and hence he had much less attention than at infantcare. He became violent and would throw his water bottle on the floor and throw his shoes around and behave like a kid gone mad. Hubby figured maybe he craves the attention he used to have at infantcare.
We tried to spend as much time as we could with him although it's quite hard being full-time working parents. Gradually, that behaviour seemed to have "subsided" and he seems more "calm" now. Kept having to explain to him about school and talk about school in a positive light and teach him not to throw things around. Really have to say and say and say.. sound like broken tape recorder..
This month we just transferred to him to another childcare which is nearer my mum's place so it's the adaptation cycle all over again! Other than the separation anxiety bit when i drop him off in the mornings, he seems happy there and the teachers say after we leave, he's perfectly fine!
Prosper, maybe your girl at childcare might be feeling the lack of attention hence her behaviour change in school and at home too.
starflower
Member
Pseed, for kee, he doesnt cry when he has enough sleep, like a 4 hour nap in the afternoons. when its about 2 hours or less than 3 hours, he'll be sure to cry his lungs out in protest, so i try to help him zz but never works.
Behaviour: i'm also cracking my brains out, his problem is major seperation anxiety which makes me wonder how long i'll be sitting outside the CC next year when i plan to enroll him. Also, he throws things everywhere. He grabs the ipad even when i'm using it and if i refuse, i get a slap on my face. Shouting at him failed, beating his hand until its red, also no effect, he continues to watch tv as if nothing happened.
Ya, perhaps like Seabreeze suggests, he can be frens w Mr Cane soon. But then again, he also has his sweet moments. The other day, he was in a happy mood and gave me 12 kisses consecutively on my lips *muaks* wet wet and loud loud ones, heheee
Behaviour: i'm also cracking my brains out, his problem is major seperation anxiety which makes me wonder how long i'll be sitting outside the CC next year when i plan to enroll him. Also, he throws things everywhere. He grabs the ipad even when i'm using it and if i refuse, i get a slap on my face. Shouting at him failed, beating his hand until its red, also no effect, he continues to watch tv as if nothing happened.
Ya, perhaps like Seabreeze suggests, he can be frens w Mr Cane soon. But then again, he also has his sweet moments. The other day, he was in a happy mood and gave me 12 kisses consecutively on my lips *muaks* wet wet and loud loud ones, heheee
halo mummies!
Look like now our demanding tots wants alot of attention yeah? My gal too very sticky to me n certain things just wants me but at least hb bring her to childcare n bath her so still hv quality time for both of them,other than that just wants me esp ppatting her to sleep
Prosper, oh dear K bite her peers in sch ah? Last week C was bitten by a boy n i was shock but good thing only left 2 teeth red mark cos the boy is younger than her and lesser teeth
she didint cry n sch notify the parents liao, it happened while they were playing toys, C dun want to share toy n become the victim,hiaz
propser, maybe u spent more quality time by playing n read to her, do some imaginary games to let her learn n release her frustration?
liz, vera also ah? Think we now gt to crack our heads to be more creative in spending time wif them?
Starflower,hee K is still a veey sweet boy but one party gt to be firm like for us, hubby is the discipline master n i will leave them alone n let him do the scolding, maybe u too sweet liao so he is nt afraid of u? Let ur hb handle his tantrum?
Seabreeze,ur gal name is so sweet,dun worry she will be fine n grow uyp healthily
Scumpee, ya maybe intro speech therapist if u worried? Take care as nt easy to handle 2 kiddos now
Look like now our demanding tots wants alot of attention yeah? My gal too very sticky to me n certain things just wants me but at least hb bring her to childcare n bath her so still hv quality time for both of them,other than that just wants me esp ppatting her to sleep
Prosper, oh dear K bite her peers in sch ah? Last week C was bitten by a boy n i was shock but good thing only left 2 teeth red mark cos the boy is younger than her and lesser teeth
she didint cry n sch notify the parents liao, it happened while they were playing toys, C dun want to share toy n become the victim,hiaz propser, maybe u spent more quality time by playing n read to her, do some imaginary games to let her learn n release her frustration?
liz, vera also ah? Think we now gt to crack our heads to be more creative in spending time wif them?
Starflower,hee K is still a veey sweet boy but one party gt to be firm like for us, hubby is the discipline master n i will leave them alone n let him do the scolding, maybe u too sweet liao so he is nt afraid of u? Let ur hb handle his tantrum?
Seabreeze,ur gal name is so sweet,dun worry she will be fine n grow uyp healthily
Scumpee, ya maybe intro speech therapist if u worried? Take care as nt easy to handle 2 kiddos now
mangogal,
everynite i will read bedtime story to her to make her love books..Tell her story, play ABC magnet with her in front of fridge. I think i do spent quality time with her. She is just want to be defiant.
If i am not wrong it all started one day that daddy told me not to be too nice to her. Last time, whenever she wanted things, i will say, " ok u want huh, mummy give u k". So she became to take things for granted. So eversince i changed to train her to take no for an answer. She can't take it. slowly time by time, she became monster.
Like this morning, refuse to wear clothes after washing up. I used cane and beat on her palm twice. and solved the problem....
Chocolate, In sch she might lack of attention but i found that it is not the case. cos I observe her when i brough her out with frends gathering. She also will defend herself with her peers. She dun like the same age group of her freind. SHe will snatch toy from them and wanted to play alone. she will share toy with those bigger jie jie.
everynite i will read bedtime story to her to make her love books..Tell her story, play ABC magnet with her in front of fridge. I think i do spent quality time with her. She is just want to be defiant.
If i am not wrong it all started one day that daddy told me not to be too nice to her. Last time, whenever she wanted things, i will say, " ok u want huh, mummy give u k". So she became to take things for granted. So eversince i changed to train her to take no for an answer. She can't take it. slowly time by time, she became monster.
Like this morning, refuse to wear clothes after washing up. I used cane and beat on her palm twice. and solved the problem....
Chocolate, In sch she might lack of attention but i found that it is not the case. cos I observe her when i brough her out with frends gathering. She also will defend herself with her peers. She dun like the same age group of her freind. SHe will snatch toy from them and wanted to play alone. she will share toy with those bigger jie jie.
orange_juice
Active Member
scrumpee
my friend's brother had a language delay as well..he didnt talk or have any vocabs till 3 yo.
their parents send them to speech teraphy and it actually helped..one day he started talking and it became non stop talks..like a sudden burst of words come out
i think they memorize all the words in their brains..but dunno how to say it..but when the time comes, he'll talk! non stop - as u wish!
don't worry k..
re: our todds
yes..they are attention seekers. and like to test our limits. if they're tired, it's worse..the get emotional easily.
starflower
4 hour nap?? wowww!!! my boy only naps 2.5 hours and I have to be on his side, patting him, otherwise he will only nap for 1 hour and wake up crying and cranky after that. I really wish he can nap longer by himself.
oh but to my surprise, last night is kind of a breakthrough.. he sleeps through!!! only asked for milk when he wakes up at 6.30am.
usually he ask for milk around 1 or 2 am and then again when he wakes up around 6.30-7am.
I hope this will be for good! all of us had a good sleep last night...no waking up to make milk, nice!
my friend's brother had a language delay as well..he didnt talk or have any vocabs till 3 yo.
their parents send them to speech teraphy and it actually helped..one day he started talking and it became non stop talks..like a sudden burst of words come out
i think they memorize all the words in their brains..but dunno how to say it..but when the time comes, he'll talk! non stop - as u wish!
don't worry k..
re: our todds
yes..they are attention seekers. and like to test our limits. if they're tired, it's worse..the get emotional easily.
starflower
4 hour nap?? wowww!!! my boy only naps 2.5 hours and I have to be on his side, patting him, otherwise he will only nap for 1 hour and wake up crying and cranky after that. I really wish he can nap longer by himself.
oh but to my surprise, last night is kind of a breakthrough.. he sleeps through!!! only asked for milk when he wakes up at 6.30am.
usually he ask for milk around 1 or 2 am and then again when he wakes up around 6.30-7am.
I hope this will be for good! all of us had a good sleep last night...no waking up to make milk, nice!
mummies,
so our tots are ready into the Terrible 2.
bb M too will throw temper but seems not as bad as some of the tots here (phew). Whenever she cry, & ask/wan something, i would nvr give in. Instead i'll ask her to stop crying 1st, then ask probably & say 'please' ... after sometimes, she know she only get wat she want when she behave(mean no cry/shout) & say 'Please' .. like yesterday, she inside my sis's room, wan to listen to the song (we saved some of her favorite song in the desktop & play for her) .. when she go out of control, start screaming & wan to click the mouse & nvr listen instruction, my sis just carried her out of the room & close the door. She scream & cry out her lung, til i went to her, ask her wat happen .. she said ah yi (my sis) notti. Then i knocked on my sis's room, ask her wat happen. And i told her if she wan something from ah yi. she must ask permission, if she notti/not follow instruction, ah yi wont let her go into her room .. i made her said sorry to my sis, said ' i wan to watch Hot Dog, Please', then my sis let her in and she quietly sit there & point to the monitor, nvr throw temper ..
She knows by throwing temper, will only lose wat she wan instead of getting them ..
so our tots are ready into the Terrible 2.
bb M too will throw temper but seems not as bad as some of the tots here (phew). Whenever she cry, & ask/wan something, i would nvr give in. Instead i'll ask her to stop crying 1st, then ask probably & say 'please' ... after sometimes, she know she only get wat she want when she behave(mean no cry/shout) & say 'Please' .. like yesterday, she inside my sis's room, wan to listen to the song (we saved some of her favorite song in the desktop & play for her) .. when she go out of control, start screaming & wan to click the mouse & nvr listen instruction, my sis just carried her out of the room & close the door. She scream & cry out her lung, til i went to her, ask her wat happen .. she said ah yi (my sis) notti. Then i knocked on my sis's room, ask her wat happen. And i told her if she wan something from ah yi. she must ask permission, if she notti/not follow instruction, ah yi wont let her go into her room .. i made her said sorry to my sis, said ' i wan to watch Hot Dog, Please', then my sis let her in and she quietly sit there & point to the monitor, nvr throw temper ..
She knows by throwing temper, will only lose wat she wan instead of getting them ..
Prosper,
my girl too, dun wan to wear clothes/pants/pampers .. I'll tease her say 'iiigghhh, siu siu(shame shame)'
But i'll ask her if she wan mummy/papa wear for her, she will choose one .. or sometime she will said 'Moiiesha wear' .. then i let her wear herself(by helping her la). I always give some option (if she dun wan to do something like shower/eat, i'll ask her, mummy/papa do for her .. she will choose one then we continue, nvr have the option, want to do or not, it's who she wan to do for her)
I think bcoz they see others do in the school & come back try to do the same. Eg, she plays with saliva & spit, we just ignore her. When she is not getting attention by doing that, she stops liao.
Or we will divert her attention to something that she likes.. then she forgot her notti behaviour/throw temper liao ...
not easy to be a crown, but i definitely is one at home .. so tiring ..
my girl too, dun wan to wear clothes/pants/pampers .. I'll tease her say 'iiigghhh, siu siu(shame shame)'
But i'll ask her if she wan mummy/papa wear for her, she will choose one .. or sometime she will said 'Moiiesha wear' .. then i let her wear herself(by helping her la). I always give some option (if she dun wan to do something like shower/eat, i'll ask her, mummy/papa do for her .. she will choose one then we continue, nvr have the option, want to do or not, it's who she wan to do for her)
I think bcoz they see others do in the school & come back try to do the same. Eg, she plays with saliva & spit, we just ignore her. When she is not getting attention by doing that, she stops liao.
Or we will divert her attention to something that she likes.. then she forgot her notti behaviour/throw temper liao ...
not easy to be a crown, but i definitely is one at home .. so tiring ..
missycandy
Active Member
sinmey - kirs also play with saliva lehhhhhh wahlao.. ! aloy teach one is it ? WAHAHAHAHA!!! Kirs is more of a whiny n sticky girl... not so much tantrums.. im quite firm... i smack.. i have no mercy... =P
sinmey- I did divert her attention all the times when she throw tantrum. sometimes it works sometime not. I also asked her to stop crying first and say please. She did listen, it worked . But what makes me angry is why does she behave like this all the times. Need scolding and wacking before we give in to her. Why can't she be like other kids behaving well and ask for for it instead?
Ex: she was wearing her shoe. If that time happen to wear it all well, nothing happen, she happy. If sometimes wear just not in her way, she started to yell already. Her temper was really hugh.
Missycandy- I realised Kris was very well behaved. My hb also said that. She belongs to that guai catergories. so envy.
Ex: she was wearing her shoe. If that time happen to wear it all well, nothing happen, she happy. If sometimes wear just not in her way, she started to yell already. Her temper was really hugh.
Missycandy- I realised Kris was very well behaved. My hb also said that. She belongs to that guai catergories. so envy.
missy,
dunno leh ... must ask fiza .. must be someone in the class .. walao .. next time 2 of them also having the same bad habit, all pick up from the school one .. aiyoo .. i nvr smack lar, i ignore her .. then she has no fun & dun bother to do liao ..
Prosper,
no choice lar .. if they dun get wat they wan, they will try all way lor .. cry & scream is the easiest for them. i guess all kids also same lar ..
dunno leh ... must ask fiza .. must be someone in the class .. walao .. next time 2 of them also having the same bad habit, all pick up from the school one .. aiyoo .. i nvr smack lar, i ignore her .. then she has no fun & dun bother to do liao ..
Prosper,
no choice lar .. if they dun get wat they wan, they will try all way lor .. cry & scream is the easiest for them. i guess all kids also same lar ..
Think we really have many Mr Ox and Missy Ox -tempered around.
Prosper ...
SH is into biting oso and so far the victim has been my #1. He kanna on his hands and shoulder before ... really DEEP and RED mark! Even when we hit his hand and tell him no biting ... he just give us a 'look' and walk away. Like I said ... its individual temper cos my #1 NEVER had such incident before. Same set of parents with the same parenting style ... comeout still diff product hahahaah
Prosper ...
SH is into biting oso and so far the victim has been my #1. He kanna on his hands and shoulder before ... really DEEP and RED mark! Even when we hit his hand and tell him no biting ... he just give us a 'look' and walk away. Like I said ... its individual temper cos my #1 NEVER had such incident before. Same set of parents with the same parenting style ... comeout still diff product hahahaah
Proper, yes Vera also get voilent with people like her jiejie (her pri 3 cousin who loves her to bit), her grandparents, her daddy and me. She especially like to pull down/snatch our glasses. I find it very rude of her to do so and have been repeatly telling her not to pull our glasses. She does this while playing and out of a sudden, she comes right to our face and snatch our glasses or when she's trying to protest because I tell her off not to do something. She sometime bullied her jiejie and made her cried. There was once, I saw them playing together. There was no dispute but suddenly Vera just went towards her jiejie, and pulled her hair. I told her off. After a while, she pinch her jiejie again for no reason. I told her off and explain to her that it's wrong to hurt people. I wanted her to apologise to her jiejie by giving jiejie a hug. She went and gave her another scratch on her face. This time her jiejie cried. I talked to my husband about it and even question ourselves if we're too soft/lenient to her, were we not doing enough in disciplining her...? sigh.
Chocolate, I try to avoid smacking when she did something naughty so also say like a tape recorder. Last night, hubby said that I become very naggy, like a typical nagging mother liao...
Starflower, wow your little boy is so sweet! 12 continous kisses, he must have turned you into a melting butter loh.
Yes, agree with you that our little ones do have the angelic side of them. A simple hug, a kiss or even when she just say mummy with a smile will melt me down and make me happy for the day. lol..!
Mangogal, not really creative method but more like a discipline for me. When come home from work, I will not turn on my laptop again. IF work from home, knock off time means knock off time. ONce I step out of the study room, I'll try not to go in again unless got night teleconference no choice loh. During weekend, I try not to turn on tv. The time spend on my TV programmes will be used to spend on her. Play toys, read books etc with her. I try to give her attention first before she asks for it.
Chocolate, I try to avoid smacking when she did something naughty so also say like a tape recorder. Last night, hubby said that I become very naggy, like a typical nagging mother liao...
Starflower, wow your little boy is so sweet! 12 continous kisses, he must have turned you into a melting butter loh.
Mangogal, not really creative method but more like a discipline for me. When come home from work, I will not turn on my laptop again. IF work from home, knock off time means knock off time. ONce I step out of the study room, I'll try not to go in again unless got night teleconference no choice loh. During weekend, I try not to turn on tv. The time spend on my TV programmes will be used to spend on her. Play toys, read books etc with her. I try to give her attention first before she asks for it.
pinkdemoness
Member
Hi all, indeed out lil cuties are turning to be lil monsters...Elixir is fine on the whole and does sweet stuffs more than monstrous ones...like when he sees me having dinner, he will go to the fridge to get a bottle of water for me, says please when he wants smth and if he is not in a good mood and urgently wants, he will walk a few steps away and start turning in circles and whine...as for crying when waking up, he only cries during his teething periods or when i m not ard else he is smiling when he wakes up n sees me...when he asks for me, my granny will tell him, mummy go work...n he will say, buy yakult...n he will be out playing already... when he does a wrong thing like throwing objects, i will make him pick it up and tell him its wrong and if its broken, mummy will not buy for him anymore...he learns it and cherishes his things...
brought him to my frd's son's first bday party n i was glad he shares the toys that was passed to him with that lil baby...no fights and tugs...hope it last...he gets upsets only when a stranger gets close to him n wana touch him or carry him...else he's an angel...i think my granny is doing great in talking to him n guiding him during my absence and i do it by explaining to hi agn and agn till he acknowledges my instructions...n when he forgets, i will just remind him agn...i have never hit him since birth, oh maybe once or twice when he runs out halfway during a diaper change and when he accidentally steps onto his poo while struggling...
our kiddos are very smart kids and guess we must keep talking to them, and explaining why they are not allowed to do a certain thing...i have to play e nice n bad guy so more tough for me if i dun exercise it well and confuse him why mummy is doing this n that at the same time...
oh, i sometimes also bribe him when he refuses to listen, n it works all the time n another would be to catch his soft spot...like, elixir is afraid of the sound of the hairdryer, so whenever he is up to his lil mischiefs, i will say things like, i m gg to on the hairdryer if u dun stop, do u want that to happen, and he will say no and stop whatever he may be doing at once with a cheeky smile...just sharing how i stop his mischiefs...cheers
brought him to my frd's son's first bday party n i was glad he shares the toys that was passed to him with that lil baby...no fights and tugs...hope it last...he gets upsets only when a stranger gets close to him n wana touch him or carry him...else he's an angel...i think my granny is doing great in talking to him n guiding him during my absence and i do it by explaining to hi agn and agn till he acknowledges my instructions...n when he forgets, i will just remind him agn...i have never hit him since birth, oh maybe once or twice when he runs out halfway during a diaper change and when he accidentally steps onto his poo while struggling...
our kiddos are very smart kids and guess we must keep talking to them, and explaining why they are not allowed to do a certain thing...i have to play e nice n bad guy so more tough for me if i dun exercise it well and confuse him why mummy is doing this n that at the same time...
oh, i sometimes also bribe him when he refuses to listen, n it works all the time n another would be to catch his soft spot...like, elixir is afraid of the sound of the hairdryer, so whenever he is up to his lil mischiefs, i will say things like, i m gg to on the hairdryer if u dun stop, do u want that to happen, and he will say no and stop whatever he may be doing at once with a cheeky smile...just sharing how i stop his mischiefs...cheers
missycandy
Active Member
we cant ignore her or leave her be.. she will continue her nonsense... hurhur...
prosper - wa. i think becos she shy so she dun anyhow behave... but at home really tyrant!
prosper - wa. i think becos she shy so she dun anyhow behave... but at home really tyrant!
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Hi Mommies..
I have not been posting for a long while. Our home has been going through a re-painting and we moved to over to my folk's place to stay over.
when we got back, hubs is due to go off for work and i had to unpack the stuff that we packed up for re-painting of our home.
Grateful for my mom being with me this period of time. She has been trying to help with Bree but she is going through the peak of separation anxiety now. She does help me with laundry and minor chores around the house.
i used to be able to leave Bree with my mom for a good 3 hours.. now.. 5mins is all i get.
Regarding discipline:
a few months ago, I smacked Bree on her thigh when she got me really upset.. was alone with her and trying to get her dressed.. while holding her feet to place her diaper, she struggled and my wrist was sprained in addition to giving me 2 hard kicks on my tummy (was having gastritis at that time too)
i lost it.. and spanked her 3 times on her thigh.. she cried and that very moment i regretted it..
Ever since then.. she has learned to spank others when she was provoked or upset. Till now.. i really regretted my actions.. apart from the heartache i felt after spanking her, she has learned to spank to stop things that she doesn't like
I am trying a different method now. depending on situation, If its tantrums and if i get to catch hold of her hand or leg..i grip it firmly, look her in the eye and tell her sternly.. "I love you Bree, Don't do that to mommy. It hurts me."
if i cannot catch hold then i "Siam" away from her.
If its cos she got tired and need to let out.. i tell her the same thingbut not in a stern voice. i do hug her and pat her.. then tell her.. i now u are tired and frustrated, just take a nap first and you will feel better later. or we will go shopping after u wake up etc..
I do make her stand at the "Naughty Corner". after a minute.. i went to ask her to apologise to me.. she does say No and turn her head away from me.. then i told her.. ok.. then u go on standing there till u are ready to apologise.
I did this everywhere i go.. i have been immune to the stares in public when they stop and stare at the way i discipline her. i.e. Changing room, supermarkets, restaurants, shopping malls.
my friends understand why i need to be a little late during appointments cos i do discipline her on the spot. i don't shout or yell at her in public.. just go near her and tell her. but if she screams and yells, i made her go back to the corner till she is ready to apologise.
but if she misbehaves in the stroller.. i push the stroller to face a wall then i cover the canopy and let her cry it out..
i do watch her.. from a place where she cannot see me when i do that.. then i approach her after a minute.. (now their age.. its a minute) and ask her if she is going to stop crying and if she is ready to go.. she will stop and put her fingers on her mouth and say yes..
i do ask her to apologize to me, She says "Ry Ry (Sorry) .. meh mi(mommy).. hug .. kiss kiss" i will then push the stroller and move on..
if along the way .. she does this again.. i repeat what i did..
so far.. it works.. i am keeping my fingers crossed that i can continue to do this..
what i am trying to do now is not to raise my voice at her while asking her to go to the corner.. she does drive me nuts sometimes
I have not been posting for a long while. Our home has been going through a re-painting and we moved to over to my folk's place to stay over.
when we got back, hubs is due to go off for work and i had to unpack the stuff that we packed up for re-painting of our home.
Grateful for my mom being with me this period of time. She has been trying to help with Bree but she is going through the peak of separation anxiety now. She does help me with laundry and minor chores around the house.
i used to be able to leave Bree with my mom for a good 3 hours.. now.. 5mins is all i get.
Regarding discipline:
a few months ago, I smacked Bree on her thigh when she got me really upset.. was alone with her and trying to get her dressed.. while holding her feet to place her diaper, she struggled and my wrist was sprained in addition to giving me 2 hard kicks on my tummy (was having gastritis at that time too)
i lost it.. and spanked her 3 times on her thigh.. she cried and that very moment i regretted it..
Ever since then.. she has learned to spank others when she was provoked or upset. Till now.. i really regretted my actions.. apart from the heartache i felt after spanking her, she has learned to spank to stop things that she doesn't like
I am trying a different method now. depending on situation, If its tantrums and if i get to catch hold of her hand or leg..i grip it firmly, look her in the eye and tell her sternly.. "I love you Bree, Don't do that to mommy. It hurts me."
if i cannot catch hold then i "Siam" away from her.
If its cos she got tired and need to let out.. i tell her the same thingbut not in a stern voice. i do hug her and pat her.. then tell her.. i now u are tired and frustrated, just take a nap first and you will feel better later. or we will go shopping after u wake up etc..
I do make her stand at the "Naughty Corner". after a minute.. i went to ask her to apologise to me.. she does say No and turn her head away from me.. then i told her.. ok.. then u go on standing there till u are ready to apologise.
I did this everywhere i go.. i have been immune to the stares in public when they stop and stare at the way i discipline her. i.e. Changing room, supermarkets, restaurants, shopping malls.
my friends understand why i need to be a little late during appointments cos i do discipline her on the spot. i don't shout or yell at her in public.. just go near her and tell her. but if she screams and yells, i made her go back to the corner till she is ready to apologise.
but if she misbehaves in the stroller.. i push the stroller to face a wall then i cover the canopy and let her cry it out..
i do watch her.. from a place where she cannot see me when i do that.. then i approach her after a minute.. (now their age.. its a minute) and ask her if she is going to stop crying and if she is ready to go.. she will stop and put her fingers on her mouth and say yes..
i do ask her to apologize to me, She says "Ry Ry (Sorry) .. meh mi(mommy).. hug .. kiss kiss" i will then push the stroller and move on..
if along the way .. she does this again.. i repeat what i did..
so far.. it works.. i am keeping my fingers crossed that i can continue to do this..
what i am trying to do now is not to raise my voice at her while asking her to go to the corner.. she does drive me nuts sometimes
lenny_susanty
Active Member
When she is throwing her tantrums, i told her to stop.. after the third time..
i make her go to the Naughty Corner.. or i do ask her.. "do u want to face the wall?' She says no.. then she will stop.. but if she did it again.. i will keep repeating to be consistent.
while she is at the naughty corner.. i warned everyone not to go near her.. anyway.. they go near her at their own risk.. cos she screams, and try to smack or scratch them..
on KPO auntie told me off when i was letting her cry in the stroller while waiting for a cab.
so she goes near her to pacify her.. and said Wah.. your mommy so mean let u sit in the stroller so uncomfortable and let u cry.. poor thing.. having said that.. she tried to touch bree's face..
Bree scratched her hand with her finger nails.. i heard an "ouch" and i gave her a smirk.. serves her right..
Please la.. her stroller is well cushioned.. and she is just wanting me to carry her which i couldn't at that time.. cos i had just bought groceries and i had to hold on to the stroller on a slope.. well.. i told Bree that i will carry her in the cab.. then i let her cry it out.. but once i get in the cab.. i thanked for helping me and waiting for me in the stroller. and i told her "mommy promised to carry you when we get into the cab. now mommy is carrying you as promised. yes?" gave her a kiss and a big hug.. wiped all her tears and all is well.
i did this 2 times and she got the message.. so far.. so good on the waiting for cab in her stroller.
i make her go to the Naughty Corner.. or i do ask her.. "do u want to face the wall?' She says no.. then she will stop.. but if she did it again.. i will keep repeating to be consistent.
while she is at the naughty corner.. i warned everyone not to go near her.. anyway.. they go near her at their own risk.. cos she screams, and try to smack or scratch them..
on KPO auntie told me off when i was letting her cry in the stroller while waiting for a cab.
so she goes near her to pacify her.. and said Wah.. your mommy so mean let u sit in the stroller so uncomfortable and let u cry.. poor thing.. having said that.. she tried to touch bree's face..
Bree scratched her hand with her finger nails.. i heard an "ouch" and i gave her a smirk.. serves her right..
Please la.. her stroller is well cushioned.. and she is just wanting me to carry her which i couldn't at that time.. cos i had just bought groceries and i had to hold on to the stroller on a slope.. well.. i told Bree that i will carry her in the cab.. then i let her cry it out.. but once i get in the cab.. i thanked for helping me and waiting for me in the stroller. and i told her "mommy promised to carry you when we get into the cab. now mommy is carrying you as promised. yes?" gave her a kiss and a big hug.. wiped all her tears and all is well.
i did this 2 times and she got the message.. so far.. so good on the waiting for cab in her stroller.
orange_juice
Active Member
lenny
i also do the "face the wall" too.. but i have to hold his body still to make him face the wall..otherwise he will turn his body to face me..at first he will still keep on giggling, like we're playing games..but when after a few seconds i still hold his body facing wall n try to move but cant..he starts to cry..i wait til 1 minute then i tell him he's not allowed to ..... and ask him to stop crying, say sorry and hug me...
I think at this age using cane is too early..they wont understand. so i choose a naughty corner to discipline.
I sometimes ask myself too if im being lenient in disciplining him..coz scolding doesnt stop him doing his mischief..usually i will warn him 2x, the 3rd time would be to send him to the wall..
sometimes distratcting also works...like just now..he wanted to play ball and threw it to our christmas tree...2 ornaments fell down..they didnt break..but i warn him 2nd time he did that, I will keep the ball away n he wont allow to play ball for 2 days.
this time he understood what im saying n stop doing it.. last time i really have to keep his toy for 2 days n let him play again...and then keep it again because he was doing it again..
i also do the "face the wall" too.. but i have to hold his body still to make him face the wall..otherwise he will turn his body to face me..at first he will still keep on giggling, like we're playing games..but when after a few seconds i still hold his body facing wall n try to move but cant..he starts to cry..i wait til 1 minute then i tell him he's not allowed to ..... and ask him to stop crying, say sorry and hug me...
I think at this age using cane is too early..they wont understand. so i choose a naughty corner to discipline.
I sometimes ask myself too if im being lenient in disciplining him..coz scolding doesnt stop him doing his mischief..usually i will warn him 2x, the 3rd time would be to send him to the wall..
sometimes distratcting also works...like just now..he wanted to play ball and threw it to our christmas tree...2 ornaments fell down..they didnt break..but i warn him 2nd time he did that, I will keep the ball away n he wont allow to play ball for 2 days.
this time he understood what im saying n stop doing it.. last time i really have to keep his toy for 2 days n let him play again...and then keep it again because he was doing it again..
lenny, ur are lucky that your naughty corner worked for u.
At times, i also ask my girl to go to stand at the corner facing the wall. It does't work. She won't guai guai go there. SHe will cling to me stretch out her arms to ask me to carry her then at the same time cried so loudly.. how how how..
whenever she cried, she will come to me liao.
sometimes i find that they purposely oppose us.
everyday as we are crossing the road, she refused to hold me hands. keep pushing me away and i have to force her.
Then there was one day when she finally hold my hands, then i wanted to tell her, see cross road must hold hand hand ok. Then the moment she heard me saying these, she took away my hands again. How to teach?
At times, i also ask my girl to go to stand at the corner facing the wall. It does't work. She won't guai guai go there. SHe will cling to me stretch out her arms to ask me to carry her then at the same time cried so loudly.. how how how..
whenever she cried, she will come to me liao.
sometimes i find that they purposely oppose us.
everyday as we are crossing the road, she refused to hold me hands. keep pushing me away and i have to force her.
Then there was one day when she finally hold my hands, then i wanted to tell her, see cross road must hold hand hand ok. Then the moment she heard me saying these, she took away my hands again. How to teach?
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Mommies,
About tantrums and aggressive behaviour.. i do have information to share.
its a whole lot that i have to extract from a book..
unless i know how to upload the scanned file.. then i will try to scan these info for your reading..
in the meantime...please don't label our little ones "monsters".. i promise all of u.. there are reasons why they throw tantrums and why they have turned aggressive at this stage..
About tantrums and aggressive behaviour.. i do have information to share.
its a whole lot that i have to extract from a book..
unless i know how to upload the scanned file.. then i will try to scan these info for your reading..
in the meantime...please don't label our little ones "monsters".. i promise all of u.. there are reasons why they throw tantrums and why they have turned aggressive at this stage..
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Prosper,
i do have problems getting Bree to face the wall cos she won't go there on her own as well..
she does the same thing.. cry.. cling on to me and want me to carry..
despite all these.. i kept bringing her back to spot where i want her to stand and face the wall.. the minute she walks away.. i bring her back.. i kept doing it.. till she stays there..
when she clings on to me.. i told her she has been naughty.. and i want her to go face the wall. i will be expressionless, won't carry her.. bu twill hold her hand and walk her to the naughty corner.
i do have problems getting Bree to face the wall cos she won't go there on her own as well..
she does the same thing.. cry.. cling on to me and want me to carry..
despite all these.. i kept bringing her back to spot where i want her to stand and face the wall.. the minute she walks away.. i bring her back.. i kept doing it.. till she stays there..
when she clings on to me.. i told her she has been naughty.. and i want her to go face the wall. i will be expressionless, won't carry her.. bu twill hold her hand and walk her to the naughty corner.
lenny_susanty
Active Member
SammyT,
I am reading the following books:
1. The Contented Toddler years by Gina Ford
2. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for the toddler yers
3. What to expect : The Toddler years
4. Supernanny Jo Frost
i have been able to read all.. been reading section by section
I am reading the following books:
1. The Contented Toddler years by Gina Ford
2. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for the toddler yers
3. What to expect : The Toddler years
4. Supernanny Jo Frost
i have been able to read all.. been reading section by section
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Extracted from The Contented Toddler Years by Gina Ford (Page 20)
Aggressive Behaviour:
The Majority of Toddlers will occasionally use some form of aggressive behaviour such as hitting, kicking, biting, Scratching. In my experience, Toddlers who resort to this sort of aggressive behaviour usually do when they are feeling insecure. Some feel resentful and jealous when they have to share their parents' attention with a new baby, or share the toys with other children in a playgroup. A toddler who had not learnt to share may try to retrieve his toy from another by kicking.
The mother breast-feeding the new baby may be subjected to a sudden bite from a toddler who is feeling neglected. A gentle stroke of the baby's cheek by the toddler may end up as a very severe scratch. Unlike tantrums, which are directed only at parents, aggressive behaviour can often be directed at anyone whom the toddler feels is a threat. A Toddler who gets into the habit of using aggressive behaviour as a way of asserting himself or of getting undivided attention will quickly become unpopular with other parents and children
Aggressive Behaviour:
The Majority of Toddlers will occasionally use some form of aggressive behaviour such as hitting, kicking, biting, Scratching. In my experience, Toddlers who resort to this sort of aggressive behaviour usually do when they are feeling insecure. Some feel resentful and jealous when they have to share their parents' attention with a new baby, or share the toys with other children in a playgroup. A toddler who had not learnt to share may try to retrieve his toy from another by kicking.
The mother breast-feeding the new baby may be subjected to a sudden bite from a toddler who is feeling neglected. A gentle stroke of the baby's cheek by the toddler may end up as a very severe scratch. Unlike tantrums, which are directed only at parents, aggressive behaviour can often be directed at anyone whom the toddler feels is a threat. A Toddler who gets into the habit of using aggressive behaviour as a way of asserting himself or of getting undivided attention will quickly become unpopular with other parents and children
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Extracted from The Contented Toddler Years by Gina Ford (Page 21)
The following guidelines give suggestions on how to deal with a toddler's aggressive behaviour:
1. A toddler must learn that aggressive behaviour in any form is not acceptable. Therefore it is foolish to deal with this problem by smacking him, or worse, as some books suggest, "biting him back".
2. If your toddler lashes out aggressively in one way or another, immediately take him to one side and explain simply and firmly that biting, hitting, etc. is not allowed. Avoid using words like 'bad', 'naughty' , which will only make him feel insecure.
3. Reinforce his good behaviour with lots of encouragement and praise*, with much emphasis on the times he plays nice with the baby and other toddlers.
4. Be extra vigilant when he is in group situations and quickly divert his attention when he shows signs of frustration and irritability.
5. A toddler should never be left alone with a baby for even a few minutes, and when they are together, they should be kept in full view.
The following guidelines give suggestions on how to deal with a toddler's aggressive behaviour:
1. A toddler must learn that aggressive behaviour in any form is not acceptable. Therefore it is foolish to deal with this problem by smacking him, or worse, as some books suggest, "biting him back".
2. If your toddler lashes out aggressively in one way or another, immediately take him to one side and explain simply and firmly that biting, hitting, etc. is not allowed. Avoid using words like 'bad', 'naughty' , which will only make him feel insecure.
3. Reinforce his good behaviour with lots of encouragement and praise*, with much emphasis on the times he plays nice with the baby and other toddlers.
4. Be extra vigilant when he is in group situations and quickly divert his attention when he shows signs of frustration and irritability.
5. A toddler should never be left alone with a baby for even a few minutes, and when they are together, they should be kept in full view.
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Mommies...
the section about tantrums is a whole lot of pages.. don;t think i will be able to type all out..
apologies about that..
the section about tantrums is a whole lot of pages.. don;t think i will be able to type all out..
apologies about that..
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Mommies..
About handling aggression, it is address in Chapter 8 of the book (What to expect : The Toddler years)
a whole lot of info too..
About handling aggression, it is address in Chapter 8 of the book (What to expect : The Toddler years)
a whole lot of info too..
reverie_island
New Member
Hey i am going to buy the following and saw this promo on their website and just share with you if you are interested.
English and Japanese sets total $176 thus i am going to ask for the Chinese set as FOC. I am getting the chinese sing along too. I will be using the discount code WTL-ABT (valid till 31 dec 2010) to get S$5 off.
English and Japanese sets total $176 thus i am going to ask for the Chinese set as FOC. I am getting the chinese sing along too. I will be using the discount code WTL-ABT (valid till 31 dec 2010) to get S$5 off.
hi mummies,
kinda relieved to read that most of you are finding our tots having lots tantrums now. i tot my boy was changing suddenly coz he started being really disobendient these last 2 weeks. previously he was a dear, able to understand instructions really well and i can always distract him or reason with him. eg. he wants to colour crayons now and i'll tell him later coz it's lunch time so eat first before colouring ok. and he'll nod ok. he knows i keep my promises coz since birth, i will always let him do what he wants as long as reasonable and within limits. but these two weeks, he refused to listen. if i said cannot and even when i explained the reasons to him, he will throw a big tantrum and cry loudly, with tears and muscus and everything. like so pathetic but in anger. coz if you go near him, he will hit and slap me or hubby. sometimes i'm the one who tell him no but he will walk to his daddy and smack him. reason with him, talk to him all no use. i realised after crying too hysterically, he grows frightened of it himself and will look to me for hugs, while crying at the same time. then i will carry him, hug him and comfort him. but after he calmed down, sometimes he will still refused to apologise to whoever he has slapped. very frustrating, esp since it's a big turn from his behaviour in the past. he will keep shaking his head, do other things and refused to apologise. he doesn't speak the words yet so it's hand signs to indicate he's sorry but he just won't do it. am getting so tired of all his tantrums coz can happened more than 10 times a day. worst, he's home with me and not going to any childcare so i hv no idea where he picks up all these behaviours. i esp hates the slapping and hitting out part. we were past that stage earlier as he did it when he was 13 mths but with advise from a mummy here, we continously told him no no and wagged our fingers at him and he stopped doing it already. so frustrated it started all over again.
he is a dear sometimes when he comes over to hug me on his own or when he kisses me when i asked him to. sometimes his actions are so endearing and cute too. but i really can't stand the bad behaviours recently and feel like i'm going to lose it sometimes. haven't really smacked him yet. but almost did this morn when he refused to let me change his clothes and diapers. kicked me when i carried him to bed to change and kept rolling again, crying loudly at the same time. was so upset with him...sigh...i really hoped this stage doesn't last too long. i'm getting so frustrated already and at times like this, i really wished i was back working...sigh.
lenny, thanks for the sharing. you and some of the other mummies here are really patient. i'm not even sure if i can rem what i read and be patient with him when he's in this monstrous moods. i just feel so defeated and so frustrated...
kinda relieved to read that most of you are finding our tots having lots tantrums now. i tot my boy was changing suddenly coz he started being really disobendient these last 2 weeks. previously he was a dear, able to understand instructions really well and i can always distract him or reason with him. eg. he wants to colour crayons now and i'll tell him later coz it's lunch time so eat first before colouring ok. and he'll nod ok. he knows i keep my promises coz since birth, i will always let him do what he wants as long as reasonable and within limits. but these two weeks, he refused to listen. if i said cannot and even when i explained the reasons to him, he will throw a big tantrum and cry loudly, with tears and muscus and everything. like so pathetic but in anger. coz if you go near him, he will hit and slap me or hubby. sometimes i'm the one who tell him no but he will walk to his daddy and smack him. reason with him, talk to him all no use. i realised after crying too hysterically, he grows frightened of it himself and will look to me for hugs, while crying at the same time. then i will carry him, hug him and comfort him. but after he calmed down, sometimes he will still refused to apologise to whoever he has slapped. very frustrating, esp since it's a big turn from his behaviour in the past. he will keep shaking his head, do other things and refused to apologise. he doesn't speak the words yet so it's hand signs to indicate he's sorry but he just won't do it. am getting so tired of all his tantrums coz can happened more than 10 times a day. worst, he's home with me and not going to any childcare so i hv no idea where he picks up all these behaviours. i esp hates the slapping and hitting out part. we were past that stage earlier as he did it when he was 13 mths but with advise from a mummy here, we continously told him no no and wagged our fingers at him and he stopped doing it already. so frustrated it started all over again.
he is a dear sometimes when he comes over to hug me on his own or when he kisses me when i asked him to. sometimes his actions are so endearing and cute too. but i really can't stand the bad behaviours recently and feel like i'm going to lose it sometimes. haven't really smacked him yet. but almost did this morn when he refused to let me change his clothes and diapers. kicked me when i carried him to bed to change and kept rolling again, crying loudly at the same time. was so upset with him...sigh...i really hoped this stage doesn't last too long. i'm getting so frustrated already and at times like this, i really wished i was back working...sigh.
lenny, thanks for the sharing. you and some of the other mummies here are really patient. i'm not even sure if i can rem what i read and be patient with him when he's in this monstrous moods. i just feel so defeated and so frustrated...
scrumpee,
dun worry about your boy k. since you fixed the appt with the doc, at least have peace of mind that you have done all necessary. i'm sure your boy will be nattering non stop soon. dun give him or yourself pressure coz he can sense it and may even delay talking even more. my nephew only started talking alot after age3. before that, he just point and said 1 or 2 words but can see he was very intelligent coz he understands every thing. then all of a sudden, he started talking. i always tot he resisted talking earlier coz mil who is his caregiver always nagged in front of him why he doesn't want to talk, why other kids can talk, he can't, why he keeps pointing only, etc. i tot that gives him pressure and can see he's always very unhappy when hear all these so prob delay also. tat's why i'm admandant not to give my boy pressure too.
dun worry about your boy k. since you fixed the appt with the doc, at least have peace of mind that you have done all necessary. i'm sure your boy will be nattering non stop soon. dun give him or yourself pressure coz he can sense it and may even delay talking even more. my nephew only started talking alot after age3. before that, he just point and said 1 or 2 words but can see he was very intelligent coz he understands every thing. then all of a sudden, he started talking. i always tot he resisted talking earlier coz mil who is his caregiver always nagged in front of him why he doesn't want to talk, why other kids can talk, he can't, why he keeps pointing only, etc. i tot that gives him pressure and can see he's always very unhappy when hear all these so prob delay also. tat's why i'm admandant not to give my boy pressure too.
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Sung,
To be honest, those who really knew me... they are going to laugh their heads off if they heard anyone say that i am patient..
when Bree throw her tantrums, i normally just stop.. take a deep breath and then deal with her..
Alternatively, if i am at home.. i will just walk away from her and let her vent it out while i take a moment to calm myself down before i go to her..
Yes.. I sometimes do lose it and shouted at her when i am physically drained, feeling sick while trying to full through the day till her bedtime.
am trying to NOT shout at her.. cos she has learnt to shout as well. sigh..
After i yelled at her, i end up apologizing to her. I told her i was sorry for shouting at her cos i was very upset with her and not feeling very well myself but still, i shouldn't have shouted at her. i do ask her to forgive me then give her a hug and a kiss.
To be honest, those who really knew me... they are going to laugh their heads off if they heard anyone say that i am patient..
when Bree throw her tantrums, i normally just stop.. take a deep breath and then deal with her..
Alternatively, if i am at home.. i will just walk away from her and let her vent it out while i take a moment to calm myself down before i go to her..
Yes.. I sometimes do lose it and shouted at her when i am physically drained, feeling sick while trying to full through the day till her bedtime.
am trying to NOT shout at her.. cos she has learnt to shout as well. sigh..
After i yelled at her, i end up apologizing to her. I told her i was sorry for shouting at her cos i was very upset with her and not feeling very well myself but still, i shouldn't have shouted at her. i do ask her to forgive me then give her a hug and a kiss.
hi lenny,
i don't dare to walk away when my boy gets into tat mood, coz he is kinda "destructive", hitting out at his surroundings and sometimes knocking his head accidentally in his somewhat "crazed" state. am worried he will hurt himself so i usually stick around. but yeah, it takes major efforts to keep quiet and not shout at him. i also realised he's picking up shouting when he sees me do it so i stopped. kids learn and imitate so well... haha i'm also always apologising to him too. sometimes for scolding him until he cries feels so damn guilty.
anyway, my personal take is that you are a swell mummy! esp since always coping alone with bree. haha i do tink that u r very patient towards her. all your sharings does give me this feel
i don't dare to walk away when my boy gets into tat mood, coz he is kinda "destructive", hitting out at his surroundings and sometimes knocking his head accidentally in his somewhat "crazed" state. am worried he will hurt himself so i usually stick around. but yeah, it takes major efforts to keep quiet and not shout at him. i also realised he's picking up shouting when he sees me do it so i stopped. kids learn and imitate so well... haha i'm also always apologising to him too. sometimes for scolding him until he cries
feels so damn guilty. anyway, my personal take is that you are a swell mummy! esp since always coping alone with bree. haha i do tink that u r very patient towards her. all your sharings does give me this feel
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Sung,
Thanks for the pat on my back..
about leaving our toddler while we walk out of the room to breathe, i read that we could leave them in their cot beds then walk out so we know that they will be safe..
but there is another school of thought against this.. fearing that they will reject their cots if we do that.. so..
Thanks for the pat on my back..
about leaving our toddler while we walk out of the room to breathe, i read that we could leave them in their cot beds then walk out so we know that they will be safe..
but there is another school of thought against this.. fearing that they will reject their cots if we do that.. so..
Hi all, looooooooooong time no post here as life had been busy >_<
About discipline at this age, I have only one person to recommend : SUPERNANNY!!!
http://www.supernanny.com/
the site has video clips so u can see the demonstrations directly, instead of reading pages and pages of books, which i think is more useful
She is also a major advocate of naughty corner/ naughty step that sort of thing
And, esp for mummies who are at the end of their tether cos apparently nothing works, the key word is CONSISTENCY. If you one day use naughty corner method, and then after a few days because u are so pissed off u start to scream and shout and threaten, it sends the message that they can incite that particular reaction out of you. Same with the tantrums - they are looking for a particular reaction - mainly attention of some sort or a volatile reaction - and if u give it to them once or twice, they will stubbornly hold on to that knowledge. Therefore it is all the more imperative that u change that concept that they have.
My friend's grandaughter who, at 4 years old, still throws major tantrums out in public/private, gets a non-reaction from my friend when she tries it with her. She soon stopped that kind of behaviour with my friend.
I believe in distraction (cos it works so well at this age) but negotiation is really not a good idea at any kind of age - it really demeans one's authority as a parent, and children NEED the authority.
The way that I personally do it is this: if he misbehaves, I straightaway hold his arm, kneel down to face him directly at eye level and make sure he looks straight at me, and I speak in a LOW but ANGRY voice (no high pitched screaming/shouting cos that is the kind of volatile reaction that can encourage them), and tell him No, give the reason why No, and say it is not acceptable. If he does it again, I repeat. If he does it a third time, he gets a slap on his wrist, and he straightaway stops. He doesn't repeat the same thing again for some time
I have to say, so far so good. He doesn't throw rages/tantrums, and is always in a happy disposition, and behaves himself 80% of the time when he is outside/ at the nanny's.
Think we all got to consider things from their POV also. OK, their temperament and innate character plays a part in the way they behave, but I think it's important to have constantly good communication with them, read their body language/actions well, and understand that they they are at the moment starting to learn about social behaviour - not easy if u think about it! For all u know, the start of awful behaviour may very well be because their basic needs/requests have been overlooked eg for my son there was once when he was feeling thirsty and wanted a drink, but i didn't realise that. He got sooooo upset and only calmed down when i finallly gave him water. And then after that for a few times he decided to try overreacting to things, but I wisened up by then so it didn't continue.
And ALWAYS ALWAYS praise them. U have to make sure u don't fall into the trap of scolding them more than u praise them cos it REALLY makes a difference - at least from my personal experience. I praise him for every little good behaviour from sitting still in the high chair/table, to eating all his food/eating without creating a mess, to putting his toys away, to following any little instruction I give him. I think I can safely say that I praise him 7/10 times
I think most of us are too preoccupied with things around the home/work/rest of family so it's way too easy to overlook this little detail, but it's so important.
Just my 2 cents'
hope it helps some of u.
Patience all!
About discipline at this age, I have only one person to recommend : SUPERNANNY!!!
http://www.supernanny.com/
the site has video clips so u can see the demonstrations directly, instead of reading pages and pages of books, which i think is more useful
She is also a major advocate of naughty corner/ naughty step that sort of thing
My friend's grandaughter who, at 4 years old, still throws major tantrums out in public/private, gets a non-reaction from my friend when she tries it with her. She soon stopped that kind of behaviour with my friend.
I believe in distraction (cos it works so well at this age) but negotiation is really not a good idea at any kind of age - it really demeans one's authority as a parent, and children NEED the authority.
The way that I personally do it is this: if he misbehaves, I straightaway hold his arm, kneel down to face him directly at eye level and make sure he looks straight at me, and I speak in a LOW but ANGRY voice (no high pitched screaming/shouting cos that is the kind of volatile reaction that can encourage them), and tell him No, give the reason why No, and say it is not acceptable. If he does it again, I repeat. If he does it a third time, he gets a slap on his wrist, and he straightaway stops. He doesn't repeat the same thing again for some time
I have to say, so far so good. He doesn't throw rages/tantrums, and is always in a happy disposition, and behaves himself 80% of the time when he is outside/ at the nanny's.
Think we all got to consider things from their POV also. OK, their temperament and innate character plays a part in the way they behave, but I think it's important to have constantly good communication with them, read their body language/actions well, and understand that they they are at the moment starting to learn about social behaviour - not easy if u think about it! For all u know, the start of awful behaviour may very well be because their basic needs/requests have been overlooked eg for my son there was once when he was feeling thirsty and wanted a drink, but i didn't realise that. He got sooooo upset and only calmed down when i finallly gave him water. And then after that for a few times he decided to try overreacting to things, but I wisened up by then so it didn't continue.
And ALWAYS ALWAYS praise them. U have to make sure u don't fall into the trap of scolding them more than u praise them cos it REALLY makes a difference - at least from my personal experience. I praise him for every little good behaviour from sitting still in the high chair/table, to eating all his food/eating without creating a mess, to putting his toys away, to following any little instruction I give him. I think I can safely say that I praise him 7/10 times
Just my 2 cents'
Patience all!
missycandy
Active Member
oh yes. i also believe in praising them. when Kirs does something right or properly... i will clap my hands for her, cheer and say good girl... hee hee... like keeping her toys n stuff ... =P
missycandy
Active Member
wow so sad this plc. lol!
hi lenny,
thanks for the suggestion. my boy wun go into cot since he can walk so hv not put him there. that's his ball area for playing now, i'm sure he'll scream his lungs out if i put him there esp when he's meltdown mood.
hi areya,
thanks for your posting and sharing. you got me thinking and i'm really thankful for it. luckily there's you mummies to talk to. i guess i hv been too stung up lately over a lot of things and abit rushed/gan cheong in my attitude towards my little boy. forgot that he is still so young coz he is so "dong shi" usually. i realise after reflection that it's not coz i ignore his needs/requests but that i have been ignoring his wishes e.g. he will tell me no, he dun want to change his diapers now. but i'm rushing to do other hsehold stuff and noticed his diaper is already very full so i will "force" him to change his diaper now coz dun want to overlook it later and let his butt soak in the wet diaper. when i "force" him, he will meltdown and cry like siao. guess coz he is forced to do something against his wishes and he feels very miserable about it, whether or not my intentions are good. or another case when i take away his item of play forcefully, eg. he still want to colour with his crayons but i think he has been doing it for too long a time and i forcefully keep it against his voiced out wish coz it's near to sleeping time, he will meltdown too. sigh.. i forgot to think about how he must have felt or how it must have seen to him when mummy forcefully do so. silly me, i'm too focused on keeping the house clean and tidy each day, i forgot to focus on my little one's feelings!! it's so mean of me, i realise now...sigh. i do praise him alot but i guess the forceful method i've been using is making his life kinda miserable recently. prob also coz he is more assertive now and knows clearly what he wants/do not want. in the past, he will let me keep as long as i entertain him with other things. guess i must change my methods to a more gentler one now. thanks very much for the sharing. i will check out supernanny too.
thanks for the suggestion. my boy wun go into cot since he can walk so hv not put him there. that's his ball area for playing now, i'm sure he'll scream his lungs out if i put him there esp when he's meltdown mood.
hi areya,
thanks for your posting and sharing. you got me thinking and i'm really thankful for it. luckily there's you mummies to talk to. i guess i hv been too stung up lately over a lot of things and abit rushed/gan cheong in my attitude towards my little boy. forgot that he is still so young coz he is so "dong shi" usually. i realise after reflection that it's not coz i ignore his needs/requests but that i have been ignoring his wishes e.g. he will tell me no, he dun want to change his diapers now. but i'm rushing to do other hsehold stuff and noticed his diaper is already very full so i will "force" him to change his diaper now coz dun want to overlook it later and let his butt soak in the wet diaper. when i "force" him, he will meltdown and cry like siao. guess coz he is forced to do something against his wishes and he feels very miserable about it, whether or not my intentions are good. or another case when i take away his item of play forcefully, eg. he still want to colour with his crayons but i think he has been doing it for too long a time and i forcefully keep it against his voiced out wish coz it's near to sleeping time, he will meltdown too. sigh.. i forgot to think about how he must have felt or how it must have seen to him when mummy forcefully do so. silly me, i'm too focused on keeping the house clean and tidy each day, i forgot to focus on my little one's feelings!! it's so mean of me, i realise now...sigh. i do praise him alot but i guess the forceful method i've been using is making his life kinda miserable recently. prob also coz he is more assertive now and knows clearly what he wants/do not want. in the past, he will let me keep as long as i entertain him with other things. guess i must change my methods to a more gentler one now. thanks very much for the sharing. i will check out supernanny too.
mummies,
my boy is consider easy to stop him from getting wat he wanted (such as toys/kiddy rides) in de public. We will walk away n say bye bye to him, he will very scared n will run towards me. If he cries, will just say we bring him go buy ice-cream/biscuits/bread. he will stop crying. He is very tamzia, so just lure him with foods, will do =)
If he still nvr stop crying, i will say "If you still cry, mummy don;t want u already, bcos u r not good boy ('guai'). He will cry louder. I will then say "Mummy loves u ok, mummy sayang u, ok? He will nod his head. Then I will say, "then u stop crying ok? mummy sayang/kiss kiss ok?" He will stop crying.
So far, this method still can use (xx my fingers).
Jovin still cant speak much vocab, but recently found him very fast in picking our words.
Yesterday bring him for 18mths booster. Got his cert already! Feels like he is graduated..haha..lol..
my boy is consider easy to stop him from getting wat he wanted (such as toys/kiddy rides) in de public. We will walk away n say bye bye to him, he will very scared n will run towards me. If he cries, will just say we bring him go buy ice-cream/biscuits/bread. he will stop crying. He is very tamzia, so just lure him with foods, will do =)
If he still nvr stop crying, i will say "If you still cry, mummy don;t want u already, bcos u r not good boy ('guai'). He will cry louder. I will then say "Mummy loves u ok, mummy sayang u, ok? He will nod his head. Then I will say, "then u stop crying ok? mummy sayang/kiss kiss ok?" He will stop crying.
So far, this method still can use (xx my fingers).
Jovin still cant speak much vocab, but recently found him very fast in picking our words.
Yesterday bring him for 18mths booster. Got his cert already! Feels like he is graduated..haha..lol..
popkorn2009
Member
hi anyone keen to go babies SSO concert this thurs? I just realised i cant make it. A pair. 1030am. Pre concert starts at 945am.
So sad that i mix the dates.
So sad that i mix the dates.
jasminenbc
Active Member
jo,
Your boy also got his cert for jab le. Mine too. But does your boy have fever after the jab? My boy have fever since tuesday night after his jab in the evening. Today still have 38.2 fever in the morning. Still giving him the medicine. Hope his fever go away soon. Tis is the 1st time after his jab the fever last for 3 days sigh...
Your boy also got his cert for jab le. Mine too. But does your boy have fever after the jab? My boy have fever since tuesday night after his jab in the evening. Today still have 38.2 fever in the morning. Still giving him the medicine. Hope his fever go away soon. Tis is the 1st time after his jab the fever last for 3 days sigh...
lenny_susanty
Active Member
jo's mummy,
After Bree attended her friends' birthday party.. she is telling us that she wants to have one too..
we didn't have a bash for her when she is one, we just brought her to disneyland for a little celebration..
was initially planning to do it for her.. but now plans on hold.. cos we might be off to Aberdeen, Scotland during that period of time.. Nothing is firm yet.. Hubs just told me to hold all plans.. even for our own holidays that we planed in Q1 next year.
As for this USS trip end of the month, it came as a shock to us. We didn't expect this so soon. It was supposed to be next yr before June..
Everything was last minute. We could not stay in US for longer than we wanted cos all the return flights a week before xmas are fully booked.
We decided on Los Angeles after hub's course in Houston instead of Los Angeles & Las Vegas due to the short time frame. Don't want to touch and go then rush through destinations.. we did consider Florida but still decided on Los Angeles.
Well.. Its comforting for me to know that we are going to USA instead of Norway for December.. cos its going to be freaking cold in Norway.
Been busy packing our luggage for our trip lately, i can only pack at night when Bree is asleep.. else she will take out whatever i put in and throw them all over the floor.
Hope there is a celebration or a bash for the March Babes too.. and hope if it happens, we can make it to attend as well
After Bree attended her friends' birthday party.. she is telling us that she wants to have one too..
we didn't have a bash for her when she is one, we just brought her to disneyland for a little celebration..
was initially planning to do it for her.. but now plans on hold.. cos we might be off to Aberdeen, Scotland during that period of time.. Nothing is firm yet.. Hubs just told me to hold all plans.. even for our own holidays that we planed in Q1 next year.
As for this USS trip end of the month, it came as a shock to us. We didn't expect this so soon. It was supposed to be next yr before June..
Everything was last minute. We could not stay in US for longer than we wanted cos all the return flights a week before xmas are fully booked.
We decided on Los Angeles after hub's course in Houston instead of Los Angeles & Las Vegas due to the short time frame. Don't want to touch and go then rush through destinations.. we did consider Florida but still decided on Los Angeles.
Well.. Its comforting for me to know that we are going to USA instead of Norway for December.. cos its going to be freaking cold in Norway.
Been busy packing our luggage for our trip lately, i can only pack at night when Bree is asleep.. else she will take out whatever i put in and throw them all over the floor.
Hope there is a celebration or a bash for the March Babes too.. and hope if it happens, we can make it to attend as well
lenny_susanty
Active Member
Jo's mummy and jasminebc,
Which jab are u moms talking about?
Which jab are u moms talking about?
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