Kash,
Sorry for the late reply. I cant agree more with you that childcare would be a much much better choice than PIL. Same as you, the only disadvantage would be children getting sick more often. Other than that, they learn to socialise, learn to share, learn new things, more independant and gets to wat healthy food.
But it my DH who wanted more companioon for MIL. Anyway I have totally thrown off that idea from his head.
Mummies,
Just need to rant.
I'm so upset and pissed off with my SIL after she told us she want MIL to concentrate on her bb. It also throught all these that she make me feel that she is so selfish.
My MIL was all along taking care of SIL's 2 children since birth till now(one is 9 and the other 10yo). When she was preggy with her #3 in 2008, she commented tt she wants to resign and be a SAHM after the birth of #3. At the same time she would also move to her new hse which she just collected the keys then.
At that time my MIL was so sad since the kids has been with her for the past 8 years. She told me she wanted to go out to work and kill time or else she feels so useless sitting at home. At that time I told her if SIL moves out, she can take care of my kids if she wanted to. I will go out and work and give her allowance and income for taking care of my kids. My condition is she must discipline them the way she discipline my DH. At tt time she was so touched I could see her eyes were red.
However soon after SIL changed her mind after she gave birth and told us she wants MIL to continue with her 3 kids while she work. She'll also move to her new hse and come back for the kids on weekend. Since she expressed so, we just stick to her plan. She persuaded me to go back to MIL's hse for onfinment after I had #2, saying she will clear her balance 2 mth ML and bring all 3 kids home to look after during my confinment. However after I delivered, she changed her mind again. I was discharged on Wed, that Friday, she brought all her kids back to MIL place and said she want to use her ML for HK holiday instead of wasting it, looking after the kids. Then MIL's hse was filled with kids(SIL's 2 children and a 3mth old bb. My 15mth old toddler and a new born). MIL was serverly overloaded tt the following week, I was on my own bathing, feeding, attending my #1 and #2 and MIL cooks. I feel that she had played me out for the 2nd time.
Last years she started complaining tt MIL doesn't discipline her children etc.. so decided that she's gg to resign and be a full time mum from this yr onward. Again MIL feel sad as she had already transferred school for the kids. I think MIL was worried tt SIL will bring all the kids back and she will be left alone. So hubby suggested we get a maid, bring the 2 kids over to MIL's hse while I go out and work. After work, i will fetch everyone home daily. When I sms SIL in Dec, she quickly reverted tt she dun intend to resign anymore. Instead she will bring her 2 elder kids home and send them to school care. She said her bb needs attaention. She wants MIL to concentrate fully on her bb and commented tt it would be stress for MIL to take care of 3 (meaning if I bring my other 2 over).
I was so pissed off and upset with the entire thing. I showed her sms to DH and told him from now on we shall decide things best for us on our own. I feel that we are always the backup plan for my SIL and she has always taken us for granted and took advantage of us. During our #1's full month, she wanted to celebrate the son's 8years old party. We were persuaded not to hold any celebration cos it would be the same batch of guests. Fine, we gave in and only do simple praying the next day. (Her child's bday on sat, #1 full month on sun, we were told not to attend the party cos we ar consider unclean and would clash with the bday boy). I did as told.
When her bb's full month, we bought her bb a gold ankle which cost more than $150 becos we are relative. My #2's full month, she gave her an ang bao $50. Her dd's dbay on last Nov, we turned up with ang bao. 3 weeks later my #2's bday, they came empty-handed cos we are R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E.
I dun mind so much on all these gifts and money but the last straw came when she told me she wants MIL to give her full attention to her bb. She commented I can bring my gals back often to accompany MIL and played with her baby but not to ask MIL to look after my kids cos MIL will be stress. Wah lao I feel that she has taken my kindness for granted. If she is hubby;'s sister, fine I've got nothing to say but she is also a DIL herself yet she behave like tt. I'm so disappointed but on the other hand, glad that I saw her true colour.
Sorry for the long post but I'm really so upset with the whole incident.
