(2008/09) Sep 2008

[pebblez]

Lil CY,

Hmm.. i think with maids.. rather not take chances.. if they want to go better let them go man, somehow even though they seem simple minded enough.. we can never predict what these people can do especially when we have little children.. my mum has had brushes with at least 6 maids, and she finally gave up and conclude maids can really be 'dangerous' if we just leave them be.. one of them was chatting with a man at her doorstep arm in arms.. one stole her jewellery.. one re-cooked leftovers and pass it as fresh food.. one used her IDD and chalked up $400+ in bills.. endless and endless..

Personally i think it also has to do with the maid knowing that they can take advantage of situations, my mother is usually alone in the day time and the house only has more people when everyone comes back from work, and the maid knows that she'll not get caught if she were to do stupid things.. so (lol), me and my husband came up with a trick- since we feel the key is really constant supervision and having lotsa eyes around to make sure the maid behaves.. we installed many 'fake' viewcams around the house and specifically told the maid those are cameras (in the midst of the fakes, there are real ones as well of cus) and that we'll be supervising her thru those cams (so far it work!.. we find her staring suspiciously into some cams sometimes but she has so far listened to instructions..) keke

 

[storeberry]

<font color="0077aa">Devon looks like he is enjoying his flower bath!! Look at him clutching the flowers!

Hooary!! I finally captured my bb's smile!! He was smiling away when I talked to him this morning!!
Look at his fat double chin!!</font>

 

[sarahmay]

MEi: DEvon looks soooo cute lei! Like doing some flower dance. Hehe. What is the significance of bathing in these flowers and leaves ah? I mountain turtle so dunno. hehe.

Storeberry: MMR is measles mumps and rubella. That one only do after 12 mths old. 6 in 1 for 108 falls in the standard price range. Doesn't seem cheaper than my PD rates tho. I have found from my research of the clinics in my area that GP charges for vaccines are more ex than the PD. Maybe cos PDs have more biz so can buy in bulk and cheaper.

Flos: You farnee. Feng shui spots! Shhh and CHhh are considered white noise sounds that are similar to the plastic bag rubbing kind that Sasa mentioned. Not poltergeist la...that is SCARY. NOw makes me think of THE RING! Yikes!

EBM: My baby also seems to dislike EBM. I really think it may be the bottle. I need to go buy new bottles or teats. Avent only has 1 kind of teat is it? I have like 8 Avent bottles. Seems a waste to chuck them out or use them just for EBM storage.

TOday my little darling is doing a 3 hourly feed for some reason. HOpe this continues...hehe. THough he kept me up from 230 - 430am. Slept for 40 min. Woke up and asked for milk. I KO during my massage this morning.

MASSAGE and TUMMY FLATTENING: THose Mums who've done their malay massages. Do your tummies really stay flat after the masage course finishes? Mine finished today. The lady said my tummy is flat already. BUt of cos i wonder if i need to keep wearing my binder to help it maintain its flatness...not to mention start doing ab exercises to get rid of the elephantine folds of flab.

 

[sarahmay]

dseptkon: I read that you took up freelance work? I also another ke kiang one. TOok up project. NOw ...i have many teacher guides to write. argh...and then gotta pack house for manyue...how do mummies manage looking after kid and themselves all by themselves!!

 

[traz]

re: weight loss

gosh...i hv not been losing any weight since i was dishcarged from the hospital 3 weeks ago! I was down by 5 kg 3 days after delivery and that's that!!! i think must be all the oily confinement food!

 

[autum]

hello mummies!

re: Gymboree
there will be a teacher who conducts the class by singing, playing music on CD and getting the babies to do some activities.. but the activities are actually mostly done by the parent who attends the class with the baby.. for eg. if the teacher says "baby make a turn", it will be the parent who is holding the baby, making a turn together with the baby. Our babies now are actually way too young to attend Gymboree because they mostly can't move much or may be sleeping through the class. I recommend mummies here to wait till 4months old.. cos that is when baby can turn (on their own), can crawl.. then it's really a lot more fun for the babies.. cos they will have those big padded bolster, mats, climbing stairs etc.. when our babies are more mobile, u can encourage them to explore all these 'equipments'. The teacher will also blow bubbles, use playtoys like balls, the Gymbo doll etc..

 

[autum]

Hello traz! haha.. u are also in this thread.. i joined this thread only after i gave birth to EV.

lilboymom,
your maid is experienced or never work as housemaid before? if u taking another maid, better take someone who worked as housemaid before. hope u get a good maid soon.

 

[traz]

aiyo Autumn!
i was just asking u over at the mar07 thread, why r u joining them in the picnic when u r supposed to be doing ur confinement? Irin said u self-declared end of confinement liao! COOL!

beware...this thread is another lightning thread...super fast..can fight with our mar07 thread.

 

[rac_lim]

Storeberry

Same here, I find it troublesome to express and feed from bottle, cos it's double work for myself, as I do not have anyone at home to help me out. I'm all alone after my confinement, having to take care of housework (can only do hanging clothes at the moment cos can't find time to do things like ironing!), and taking care of baby whole day!

I find that going back to work is less stresful, and easier, and less tiring!

PD said that 4 kg at 1 month's old is normal... but still I'm worried cos he gained only 600g...

 

[rac_lim]

Lok, FM taste better, and is sweeter, that's why I think your baby prefers FM better than EBM.

Is anyone thinking of going for Pneumococcal jab? Quite an expensive jab though... checked with PD, babies from 2-6 months will need 4 jabs, and each jab cost $150.

 

[sarahmay]

double post sorry.

 

[sarahmay]

Rachel: I'm doing Pneumococcal/PRevanar. I think it is an impt jab for me.n wait when kid is older then take so less jabs, less money. However, i wouldn't take the risk as I'm travelling with bb q a bit. Also, if you stay home most times, i think no need to get the jab. Also, since PD says it is normal weight then don't worry la! Why do you want a biger bb? Bigger means more weight to carry!!! Ouch!

Traz: Putting on weight during confinement is normal right? Be thankful for the good nutrition u are getting! I didn't put on any weight, but lost weight. So my friend wonders if i'm on confinementat all since we are supposed to 'bu shen'. I haven't really eaten much confinement food.Just lots of fish and veggies fried with ginger.

 

[sarahmay]

TOLLYJOY Nappy Liners: I've got 3 NEW boxes. Does anyone want them? BRand new! Bought cos that time got CL so used cloth but then i fired her. So din't use much. Want to sell them. Anyone wants to buy. Give you good deal. Below market price! Throw in an extra box (but used like 5 pieces) free.

 

[rac_lim]

SarahMay

I'm sending baby to infant care center when I return to work, therefore, hb and myself are considering taking this jab. The risk of infections are higher when babies are younger, hence the need for more jabs when younger..

 

[autum]

Sarahmay,
i have also been losing weight in this confinement.. not good cos i have lack of rest and thus not much appetite.

Rachel,
I sent my elder boy to infant care since he was 2months plus.. and until now i haven't let him take the Pn jab (he is now 19mths). I intend to let him take only after 2yrs. I know it's a risk, but the Pn jab, i feel that the drugs are very powerful n i don't want to subject my boy to such powerful drugs at such a young age.. maybe my thinking is warped.

 

[mosesbasket]

Taking care of bb alone,
I guess alot of us are in the same boat with CLs leaving, Manyue etc.. I find myself fighting to keep my sanity although i enjoy Kaiden alot..
Flos, you are lucky to have so many helpers..like Shazz, I have to care for Kaiden, do some housework, cook and on top of that, take care of my furkid (who barks at every ring of doorbell, bicycle riding pass!!!)

Going out is a luxury for me..cos it is difficult to cope with driving a kid and a dog..I find myself at home Mon - Fri..having a conversation is a luxury too (hubby would come home tired and sleep earlier to get ready for nite shift with Kaiden)..getting onto the net is my only mode of communication with the outside world...still i am v resistant to having my MIL over to help cos i know it will open another can of worms! So gotta tahan...

Anyone share the same routine like me?

 

[storeberry]

<font color="0077aa">Rachel: How much is infant care now? Yah if PD says the weight is fine then don't worry k? Wow, you handling baby alone? Good!!

I also have two Pigeon Peristaltic bottles that came with the Pigeon steriliser, not using cos I am using the normal bottles...

Sarah: The $374 that I quoted from another clinic is a 15% off cos total should be $440.</font>

 

[dseptkon]

sarah
regret regret! no idea how mums can work from home with the bb... maybe when the kid is older and sleeps longer? right now am juggling #1 and #2. can pengsan...

travel cot
seems like many mums are buying travel cots. need advice. we will be in the US for about 4 weeks in Nov-Dec...do i need a cot for jonathan? or just rely on the hotel/lodging's bb bed? isn't it like a lot of things to travel with? car seat? pram? travel cot? i shudder at the amount of luggage we will have.

 

[mosesbasket]

sarahmay,
I still have the malay massage binder..but i hardly use it..my tummy still flabby with plenty of SM and pigmentation..but just too busy and lazy to bind..doesnt help when the weather is old and i gotta pump milk..the binder gets in the way..

Any way to lose weight? I lost 14 kgs and it stays stagnant since...

 

[mosesbasket]

dseptkon,
If you are particular abt the hygiene status of the hotel's bb cot, a travel cot would be handy..of coz the travel cot should be still useful to you after the trip..but if just solely for the trip, u might not want to spend the type of money..just my 2 cents worth..

 

[xuanting]

thanks, sunrays, flos &amp; agapebaby. my gf also told me that pis is good. wonder if i can rent one to try out from parentcraft. later will give them a call.

tingkat
bigtoes, first cuisine is the first tingkat i've tried so i dunno how they compare to the other tingkat caterers. i would say they are so-so, very "chinese economical mixed rice" type of dishes. there are times when we have to take several bites before knowing what a particular dish is cos usu heavily marinated/coated in flour. but last nite's dinner was pretty good. i haven't tried house of catering yet.

flos, don't let the cl and new maid stress you ok. the cl is leaving and you can always change maid if she's not satisfactory.

infant massage
jo jo, how much are you paying for the class at tanglin mall?

rachel, how abt seeing a lactation consultant? are you currently taking lots of fish and fluids and getting enough rest? i also switched fr latching to feeding ebm cos my bb wasn't putting on weight – perhaps she wasn't latching properly or my ss is really low then. my ebm was low initially, like 25–30ml for a while and i too got really worried. supplemented with fm and started taking fenugreek, lots of fish, fluids and horlicks and it's gotten much better. can express over 100ml per session now and bb drinks 80ml–130ml and is quickly putting on weight now. i hear oats help with ss too. do try to find time to rest; i find this v important.

l'l cy, your maid must be giving out really bad vibes for your kids to react like that! good to send her back also la.

washing face with ebm
storeberry, like that won't kena milk rash?

taste of fm vs ebm
have never tried either but my bb seems to prefer ebm. she makes this bleah face and spits the teat out sometimes when i give her the fm.

bacon&amp;egg, i'm also coping on my own and very nearly cut off from the outside world save for fb msgs and e-mails with friends, and of course, this forum. been on my own since day 1 (no mom, mil or cl but dh took 2wks leave) and i also have to juggle housework and constantly run after furkid to drop the "not-a-toy"s and to stop barking at every little noise etc. some days, i don't even get to bathe. actually, some days, bb don't get to bathe too, only a wipe! shhh... cannot let my mom or mil know!

 

[autum]

baconegg,
wow..u lost 14kg already.. that's very good right!

dseptkon,
dun think u need a travel cot if u are mostly staying in hotel right..

 

[mosesbasket]

xuanting,
*hi five* esp the part abt chasing furkid to drop toy..my furkid attempted to bite Kaiden's rocker chair last nite..boredom i guess..she used to be the queen of the house..now she is the maid-in-waiting..i feel terribly guilty..my hubby thinks i worry too much abt how the furkid feels..do you have the same problem?

Autum,
14 kgs is good..but u must know how much i started with..hee..i was 74kgs while pregger..so now i am 60 with a round flabby tyre..hardly attractive!

 

[jasyeo80]

hi, is there anyway we can make bb saty awake in the day and sleep in the night. my ger sleep all the way in day time, no matter what u do, she can happily sleep, n she will wake up in the night time maybe at 8,pm, played awhile n went to sleep and wake up again at 11 or 12 and won't go to sleep till 3 or 4. try to pat her to sleep, she will not sleep sound and will wake up at abt half an hour later. this is going to make me crazy.

 

[flos]

Lok: So u do combine EBM and FM too? Sometimes, my EBM is very little, only 100ml. I'll top up with another 50ml of FM. I wonder if Isaac is really ready for 150ml at 4 weeks 6 days. Perhaps the CL is eyeing on my 125ml Avent small bottles again?!!! *I'm getting paranoid*

shazz/bacon&amp;eggs: nope, more helpers but not many tasks for them. One cannot do the tasks over and over again, cos it'll be wasting your water &amp; electricity also...Nowadays, my boy sleeps as long as 3-4 hours, thks to the increased milk amt, so they are left to idle. I shut myself up in my room again to rest. TOld them to take lunch while I slept. Just didn't want to be with the two ladies...

lilboymom: my maid is alright (so far so good! cross my fingers!). I hv a lot of things to tell her, my standards and KPIs, but feel that the CL is getting in the way. Quite opp of your case where the maid thinks CL is getting in her way. I'd explain to my maid that the CL is leaving on Fri and she'll take over her bed, and can re-order the kitchen for her own convenience. The CL is somewhat messy...my maid is even cleaner than her!

BINDER: I'm wearing it occasionally in the daytime cos the frequent carrying of isaac has strained my back muscles. The binder acts as a brace...quite good

I'll be losing weight pretty soon when he CL leaves. Won't be so 'eng' like now. I'll be waking up and making the FM myself cos the bb sleeps with me at night.

Actually, I wonder if I really need a helper at all! If I get sick of her, I might just return to the agency. What's the penalty?

sarahamy: My boy likes the droning sound of my Medela pump!! monotonous...drrrrroooooo....drrrro

Mei/aloysious&amp;jessi/sasa/storeberry: cute pics u hv there!

dseptkon: lucky u! get to travel within months...I wonder when would be my turn!

Rachel: my PD told us last Sat 1 kg/month weight gain is the average.

POST-NATAL DEPRESSION: I think I'm getting a mild case of postnatal blues! My boy ddin want to finish the milk I fed. he vomitted out the milk all over my bed and teeshirt...after I passed the remaining 60ml to the CL, he finished it...pissed off! I dun seem to be able to burp him very well either.

 

[faintz]

Hi, Bacon &amp; Egg

so much weight loss.. cann imagine how smaller frame you are now as compared to the one I met up with at Ava's place before we all popped.. Me lost 13kg.. was 78kg when peggie.. but my pre-pregnant weight is 60kg.. so effectively, I still have 5kg more to go.. sad lar.. weight seem to stay stagnant..

 

[autum]

baconegg,
oic.. but losing 14kg is a good start. way to go!

Jasmine,
i have the same problem! my girl is a night owl.. sleep n sleep in the day.. night time just open her eyes big big.. then sometimes keep crying.. hiaz..

 

[rac_lim]

Infant care : The charges are from $900 - $1,500 depending on location and which school. Subsidy from Govt starting 2009 is at $600, so mommies will have to pay the difference.

 

[dseptkon]

bacon&amp;egg
good point. but am just worried abt logistics if no place to "park" bb for 4 weeks...imagine carryinging/slinging al thw time. and he cant sleep in his pram 24/7 right?

sunrays
any idea where i can get the graco infant travel cot in the link u provided? any idea abt the cost?

 

[angeg]

shazz

mine worse..fuss n need carry from about 9pm+ all the way to 2am+! thats when i am most tired n sleepy...

lanolin

stroller? hmm...coz when carine's awake,she doesnt really like to lie on her cot bed..needs to be carried..last time for FB,i got borrow the netted rocker tt i can put her down...but this time no luck to borow..shes either in my arms or cot or sofa...

sasa

ya..my oso had great leg strength...when bathing,always use the legs to push herself up,etc..on the cotbed,when took out booties,the legs will kick n push herself away,always knocking into the wooden bars then cry..

 

[isa_belle]

lilboymum
hope u get a good maid soon. My BIL just sent back his myanmese maid. She was so stupid even my other BIL's maid called her stupid. Guess what she did?
She and baby go to MIL's hse in the day. So MIL's maid taught her how to use vaccum cleaner a few times. So thot she knew. But when MIL's maid went to clean the porch and came back, she saw myanmese maid with the vacuum cleaner UPSIDE DOWN, and maid was ROLLING THE WHEELS with her palms!!! Duh!
And also, when she changed baby's diapers, she din throw the poo away in MIL's hse. Instead she wrapped up the soiled diaper and put it back into the diaper bag to bring back home! Is that lack of common sense or what...
My SIL asked her to chnage diaper every 4 hrs but she did so only at 4pm! Poor baby... Ok, so mebbe her Eng is poor, cannot blame her but it is common sense to change diaper regularly yah? I mean if she had her period does she wear her pad from morn till late afternoon??? Somemore this is poo!
Common sense rite?
Somemore, she is vain wld put on lipstick every day! Cannot tahan her.

 

[angeg]

autumn

same..my bb oso night owl..but she daytime oso didnt zz much..norm will finally zz at abt 2am+ these few nights..will sleep all the way till morning abt 8am+/10am...which i will bathe her n feed her 140ml...then she will auto go to zz on her own after i put her back on bed....!!!will wake up ard 2pm+ for 1 feed then will be awake till night time 2am+?? in between will nap abt 2x of 15/30mins after which she will wake up n cry n wana carry etc...now tinking of ways to break her 'routine'...

 

[faintz]

Hi, angeline

I saw many mommies mentioning abt baby fussing.. whst is that and how does your baby fusses? cry out loud?

Mine tend to be awaken by loud and sudden noise and he will fung his hands in the air and will cry real loud.. i put the bean spout pillow also no use and he dun like to be swaddled..

 

[wingkei]

Ava, so this will go away? I can't use those oils as I am handling baby alone at night.

Instead, I use baby lotion, not sure if it will work though.

l'l CY^^l'l CH (lilboymum) , I also think that he is the one under jiang tou. More likely him than me. I can't go for the outing as it clashes with my gynae's appt. I'm also still not confident enough to bring baby out alone. Stupid HB says I need his permission to bring baby out!

 

[isa_belle]

wingkei
and u allow him to give u permission??? There seems to be inequality here. How can u let this happen? He is stepping all over u like a doormat! Where is the respect for his spouse???

 

[avalyn]

wingkei
errr I dun thnk baby lotion will work, but you'll have really soft skin! You can use the medicated oils and wear gloves (like those short gloves people wear for weddings). No doubt that might give your hb something else to complain about...

But anyway the "hotness" of the oil will wear off after a while. use the oil once baby is asleep, then by her next feed should be ok to handle her already.

 

[wingkei]

isabelle, so far, I've not tried to bring baby out yet. But I don't think I will ask him permission. I will just tell him I am bringing baby out. You are really right. I feel that he has no respect for me. He thinks that I am dumb!

I just discovered that those red packets he gave to my mom and his mom are from our joint accounts and I thought it is from his own account. I feel really unjustified that he has to give his mother such a big red packet when she didn't even do anything. Sometimes, she will only come once a week to see the baby during the confinement! Only see, not help out.

 

[wingkei]

Ava, that's a good idea! Ok, I think I will use it when baby is asleep today.

 

[dracwy]

<font color="ff6000"> wingkei, i think a lot of times it's becos u ALLOW your hubby to walk all over u, that's why it has now become a habit for him to belittle and criticise u. if u just suffer in silence, nothing will change. u'll continue to be the doormat.

as for me, i respect my wife when she stands up for herself whenever i do or say something wrong. my point is, if u don't demand to be respected, no one will respect u.</font>

 

[avalyn]

Aloysius
Of course the name FU was chosen on purpose!

PU sounds like the satay sauce u were talking about!! hehe!!

 

[dracwy]

<font color="ff6000"> hmmm, ava, should we use "Fathers United to Care for Kids" then??

more impact, no?

(hmm...i ought to learn to behave like a dad soon...)</font>

 

[avalyn]

dracwy
Good one! I'll inform my hb about the name change

but maybe should stick to FU lah...not only about the kids what...also gotta educate some dads on how to care for wife!

 

[dracwy]

<font color="ff6000"> yeah, was just trying to be funny there.

can't take me seriously. hehe.

yeah, some dads really need to be hammered hard on the heads to whack some sense into them.</font>

 

[xuanting]

bacon&amp;egg, i feel the same way too! bb takes up a lot of my time and sometimes i see furkid curled up on the chair watching us, and i feel extremely bad – i used to carry furkid all the time but the first few days when i returned fr the hosp, i couldn't even bend down to pat her v much cos of my wound. dh and i try to take turns sayanging her now. the only thing she might possibly be happy with is the increase in treats she's been receiving since her mei-mei arrived. need to find time to groom furkid too. she's wire-coated so a bit high maintenance if i want to keep her fur looking vibrant and neat.

 

[limay]

<font color="119911">CRYING BABIES:
Research shows that crying follows a developmental pattern (also known as
the crying curve) during the first few months of life. Crying increases at two or three weeks of age, peaks between six and eight weeks, and then slows down after that, generally hitting its lowest level by around four months. Babies also cry more often during late afternoons and early evenings, when they need to release tension after a long day.
From: http://www.babycenter.com/is-it-normal-baby?scid=momsbaby_20081014:2&amp;pe=2Uv06PK

KymKym T (pebblez) – wow, your hubby is setting high standards here on the forum and being a wonderful daddy-nanny.

Just told mine (dracwy), so he keeps up the pace as well…hehe…

alabone (alabone) – wow, cadence is growing nice and well. Already up 50% from her original weight

Growth spurt – Kieran is now 6+ weeks old, and I have been feeding him 'snacks' (10-15 minutes) in between his normal 3 hourly feeds during the day! Seems like I am BFing all the time – am even feeding him now (hands-free using the Breast Friend pillow) while typing this! Thank goodness he is excellent at seeking out my boobs and latching. Can detach himself and re-latch again without needing help...greedy fella.

Meanwhile, a lactation consultant from TMC just called again to check up on how baby is doing. Very nice of them to keep following up. Similac also sent their small goodie bag today, so we will bring Kieran for the free swimming trial soon!

Rachel Lim (rac_lim) – if your baby is not getting enough BM, then just supplement with FM to make sure he is getting sufficient is better right? Kieran gained about 1.1kg by 1 month, and he is up about 1.7kg now (6+ weeks).

lanolin (lanolin) – on tanking up – think u need to do so at 10-11plus. Doesn’t always work though, Kieran has been waking up 2X the last 2 days for additional feed (80ml or so each time). He now guzzles 300ml during the night, so I have to make sure I have sufficient EBM for the night feeds.

White noise – I think this does help. Kieran calms down abit when I switch on the hair dryer, though not like we can use white noise all the time. Sometimes, I turn on my Baby Plus (heartbeat) thing, but it doesn’t work all the time as well cos his cries would drown out the white noise!

storeberry (storeberry) – hehe, Zane looks so happy in that photo. Don’t know how u manage to capture it just at that point in time.

Weight loss – I weighed myself today, and I am down 0.5kg from my pre-preggers weight!

Yippie….now aiming to lose a couple more kg while I am at it….all that weight I gained over the years and have been telling hubby I needed to lose.

Meanwhile, trust my DH to think of the acronym for the forum's group of fathers!</font>

 

[storeberry]

<font color="0077aa">Aiyoo.. dracwy!!! Naughty!! Keke...

Yah, wingkei, you need to stand up for yourslf!

Thanks limay &amp; flos! This morning I was just talking to little Zane &amp; he started smiling, then I talk him more &amp; started to get the camera out &amp; bingo!! The previous time wgen I took out my camera, he refuse to smile!</font>

 

[mosesbasket]

xuanting,
I sent my furkid to the groomer weekly..they give a reasonable package so that ease my problem of bathing n grooming her. I cant help but feel on her behalf..like if she is jealous lah, bored lah, feel sad lah...my hubby thinks i think too much..i wonder when i will stop feeling so guilty towards my furkid..

LC, Autum,
Thanks 4 the encouragement...i used to weigh like a feather! haha! Just wondering how to keep the weight off..been eating regular small sized meals..not snacking..do u think we can start swimming now?

Bigtoes, good on u! care to share how u lost those weight?

Dseptkon,
U can get Graco from Mothercare and Robinson. I got mine from MC.

 

[avalyn]

BrestFriend Pillow
Speaking of MyBrestFriend pillow, anyone wanna buy mine? Since I rarely latch and dont use it when I do latch, I wan to sell it off. Bought it around $75. Let go at $50. Washed the cover once. Mine is the colourful polka dots one (see thumbnail below).

Can bring to gathering on Monday if anyone is interested.

Bigtoes
Your hb obviously has the same sense of humor as mine!!!

 

[isa_belle]

ava
i'm interested! Onz!

 

[wingkei]

dracwy (dracwy) and storeberry, by standing up for myself? You mean I should speak up for myself, rite? But every time I do that, things end up worse, we always end up in a big quarrel and he will take out my family to blame for this and that. And he will say that now I know how to rebut him, that my wings have grown, etc. So how to stand up for myself? It's always his opinion, but I never get to voice mine, or even if I do, it's just him asking me for the sake of asking cos he will still use his own decision in the end. Asking is only for show.