(2008/09) Sep 2008

wingkei
i think your hubby is more extreme one. if my hubby keep scolding me, i keep quiet, but he goes on and on and on. So i will shout at him n list out all the good things that i have done for him and served him like a king, and wad he have done for me (which is always finding fault with me, not caring, ignoring me and unreasonable etc. very little good things done for me), then he shut up already and ignore me. then after a while will start to treat me very good lo. between us we have even discribe his treatment to me as stock market. so when he have done something to make me really happy. i will comment and tease him say that after my stock go sooooo low, finally rise abit liao, i nearly thought my stock had crashed and almost wan to jump down from building. hehe... anyway, if hubby not understanding can come here and vent out ba, cos for me no one else to tell it to.
 


sop sop.. i would love to go... but both dates on 30th may got farewell party for my work.. and 31th working day for me... sign... pls keep me in mind if can be 28th only.. tys
 
yan... haha
for my case, my hubby v good with his words. He will say until its all my fault and I am being petty when we have disagreement. Makes me feel guilty. Or maybe i v soft hearted lah...
Hmm but overall he might be very careless or insensitive when he is in his normal mode. But when important things happened, can see he really cares for me and his family. Maybe guys are reserved for important things... they dun care abt those ikan bilis things?
 
RXmom
The best we can do is hope our son(s) choose a girl who's understanding and nice, so that we can be equally undestanding and nice and eventually see her as a daughter, not just a DIL lor...

Sigh after all this talk about MILs I tink I must give my MIL a BIG hug next time I see her cos I think she's a pretty cool MIL ....
happy.gif
helps we are not in same country i guess... :p
 
<font color="119911">wow, went out for a meeting, &amp; so many postings to run thru already!
happy.gif


SarahMay (sarahmay) - yes, the combi miracle turn is quite easy to manouver, light &amp; sturdy. I would recommend it for mommies looking out for a pram. On the cord blood banking, we are pretty much indecided as well, but yah...might end up donating to the public bank.

bacon&amp;egg (baconegg) - on the gathering, i wana join too, but not sure if i can make it on 30th May (Fri) - might have another ex-colleague gathering on. My preference would be for hi-tea on any of the Saturdays in June.
UPDATE:
Gathering
Date: 30 May (Friday)
Venue: TBA
Interested MTBs:
Ava (avail all dates)
Shazz
Bacon (avail all dates except 28 June 08)
Jaymickey
Mei (7 june not available)
LC
storeberry
Qiuling (not avail 28 June 08)
Stef (ok for all fridays)
Mrs Yap (all ok except 28 June 08)
Mei (ok for all fridays)
bigtoes (most prob can't make it 30th May. Okie for all Sats in June except 21/28th after 4pm - my pre-natal starts at 4.30pm then)</font>
 
Mrs Yap
i also very soft hearted. I'm the one always to say sorry to him whenever we got argument. (he NEVER say sorry to me one) even when his wrong also i must say sorry to him can imagine that? But i will make him pay for me giving in after that by acting super pitiful. but when he's unreasonable time (he got a 'da nan ren' attitude) i will say back him until he feel guilty. so i'm the one v good with words. and nowadays my hubby commenting that i am using baby as a shield to get everything i want. I really agree with you that guys are reserved for important things. I'm forcing him to witness my labour, his ger's birth, even though he say he dun dare. So as to use it against him next time. that's my planning la.. hehe
 
Flos: Up here in Macau till June 13. Then flying back to SG for check-up. Prob flying back to MC again June 17, undecided. Not really tiring. I'm ok. Flights aren't tt ex...and we both figured that this kind of money is worth spending cos it is impt for us to be w each other. Already spent first trimester apart and the last trimester and first 2 mths following birth will also be apart. He can't take leave. It's ok. I cannot complain since I'm not working, and he's the sole breadwiner for now. So I'm thankful he's not a miser. He even lets me go shopping and tells me to take things easy and enjoy myself etc.

MIL &amp; HUBBY ISSUES: Wah. Prickly pear this one. I think at the end of the day, the marriage between man and wife cannot be subjected to the pressures of MILs. That doesn't mean we don't care abt their feelings etc...but husband and wife have started their own family so shd be given the liberty and space to make their own decisions.

MUMMY'S BOY: Actually this is one of my big worry...that I will become so sticky with my boy. I tend to notice women getting more protective of their sons than daughters. I don't want to raise a mummy boy! Just a boy who loves both his parents good enough for me. heard many horror stories abt mamsy-pamsy boys. Eeks.

HUBBIES NOT IN TOWN: It's not easy on us wives but also not easy on the men too. I'm sure they miss being with us, and their growing babies. I'm going to be one who will be spending first two months alone with bb. My dad and FIL are helping me with the confinement - cooking, cleaning etc. Night feeds I think I have to do it myself though. Maybe get my dad to stay over lor. Hehe.
 
SarahMay,

I guess it's also not easy for our hubbies to be away from us. But when I am struggling at home with a big tummy and an active 2-year-old that still wakes up at night (and still wants me to carry and hang around my neck literally), somehow his 'suffering' doesn't seem so bad afterall, esp when he told me he just had a golf game, and finished outlet shopping in the US.....the restful nights he get is make me jealous already.

;p
 
SarahMay
heh...my dad and hb cooked me food during my confinement too after my MIL went home on 3rd week! (my mum can't cook, can only bake) It's so cool that your dad and FIL are the "confinement nannies"!
 
wingkei
you should travel while you can. coz the time will come when you have your bb and travelling becomes more expensive and more restrictive.

mummies boy
hahah...initially thought hb would be one leh, but turned out quite different. it all happened during the marriage counselling conducted in church. the pastor pointedly told hte men that when you are married, your first priority is your wife. this is stated int he bible "that a man will leave his parents and cleave unto his wife". so if there are disagreement btw MIL and wife, always side the wife...

so my hb being the guai guai boy he is, listen loh..

rxmum
hahaha i was thinking along the sameline as you but didnt want to be too touchy on that. :p

wingkei
think you really ahve to settle your hb down and talk. something major must happ, coz your hb is neither those who takes the soft approach nor the hard approach...he seems just a mite ....egoistical?

yan
actually my hb's mum brought them up nearly singlehandedly too. coz daddy was a sailor or sort and wasnt around most of the time...but one thing is hb is greatly influenced by the way his father treats women - "always give in to them...coz if they nag, you get hell..."

hahahhaaha...

gathering
pity i wont be able to join coz me oso have to bring boy along. he cant sit still and he wont eat one...

hahah..actually looking at the number of mummies who cannot make it coz of children, we can have a playdate if we bring them along liaoz.

rxmum,
how old is your boy huh?
 
Goldfish (goldfish1395), I'm glad I have here to pour out my woes to. Otherwise, I think I sure go crazy one if I bottle up everything...As it is, I'm already very worried about getting pre-natal blues not to mention post-natal blues.

RXmom (ruixiangsmom), yes, I often tell him it's easy enough for him to say cos he is not the one 'suffering' from the pregnancy. He never even comforts me when I suffer badly from morning sickness yet there was this once when he ate the wrong food and kept vomiting like so sick.. and I took the opportunity to 'suan' him that he is so weak and told him to imagine me going through that everyday!

Haiz.... My hubby also very good with his words, no matter what, I'm always the one at fault and not him.
 
SarahMay,

My fil did my confinement for me too when I delivered in the US. He's retired hence he can be there when my MIL can't. He cooked the most delicious confinement food!
 
wingkei
Good on you !!!! Hahaha!

L'il CY
Yeah, agree that men do follow their fathers in the treatment of women...thats why when choosing hb also must see how his father is like - I broke up with one guy cos of his father's behaviour! It may not have been entirely fair, but from what I hear about that guy now, I was probably right!!!

Tea/playdate
We can always have a hi tea at a more child friendly place... or a home...I can check with DH if I can open my place....on a saturday lah...
 
l'l CY (lilboymum), that's what I think too. That it would definitely be more difficult to travel after bb comes along, like you say, more restrictive and more ex. And since I feel ok and my gyane gave the go-ahead, why not? Next time, if I just dump my bb on my MIL and go travelling with my hubby, you think tongues won't wag?

Yes, my hubby is rather egoistical, I feel, and very da nan ren, that's why very difficult to get through to him.
 
something to share - My FIL once asked my hubby (when my hubby said we are getting married) if i am the type of woman like his wife(my MIL) that is super naggy and talk without thinking one. Haha.

First trimester when i haven started working and having bad morning sickness, my hubby everyday nag at me and expect me to cook dinner for him. and i didn't, which one day he got so fed up that i'm at home lying down whole day and he's working, he scolded me so badly. then i give him one crazy screaming woman episode.
sad.gif
 
rxmum
my boy is 18mths. but he looks like 10mths...hahha..many people are often shock that this 'baby' is walking and talking and go 'wah he is very smart hor', until i told them, '18mths liaoz'
sad.gif


i clearly rem some fb here same age as my boy...hmmm

Ava
onz if you are!!! adan will share his toys hor?

haha you really did that? aiyoh, poor guy though, hope you didnt tell him that then! :p

wingkei
actually hor, you can leave your mil outta picture for now. whatever is done, tongues will wag, so let it wag to your advantage.rein in your hb first...then the rest will be better...
 
gathering
i would love to join in the gathering too! but i can't make it on 30 May cos i got gynae appt in the evening at jurong, quite inconvenient to get down to town after that. will join u all another day
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about MIL and HB
i'm glad that my HB is not a mummy's boy and i can't comment much about issues of hubby being "da nan ren" cos my hubby always say he is hen-pecked. :p but i think communication between a couple is very important. if possible, we will always try to set some time aside to talk, like spending some time before going to bed to talk about anything.

but issues with MIL can be quite difficult to tackle. my MIL is quite nice but she tends to be quite "persistent". my hubby can't even stand his own mum's "nagging". i'm glad we are not living together, so whenever i get to meet her, i will try to bear with her.

wingkei,
i think that you should continue to go for that gold coast holiday. you can still visit movieworld eventhough u can't go to seaworld or dreamworld.
happy.gif
else u can also go outlet shopping there. next time when your bb comes, very difficult to go holiday already.
 
<font color="119911">bacon&amp;egg (baconegg) - just pick the most common date &amp; stick to that? We can always have round 2 at a later date for the mommies who will miss the upcoming session.

Btw, for mommies going for their 24th week gyne appnt - if you have a family history of diabetes remember to ask for a GTT to test for gestational diabetes. See: http://www.babycenter.com/0_gestational-diabetes_2058.bc?articleId=2058&amp;showAll=true
My hubby &amp; myself both have grandparents with diabetes, so I am opting in for the GTT at week 28 just to monitor my blood sugar level.</font>
 
yan (bbfam), so what happens after that crazy screaming woman episode? My hubby also expects me to continue to prepare breakfast for him every morning when I first found out I was pregnant but I was vomitting so badly then that I refuse. The first thing I did was throw up the moment I opened my eyes, how to prepare? See food also want to throw up. BTW, I am working, not stay at home one.

Jessi, my main purpose of going to Gold Coast is to go to Seaworld, if I don't go there, not sure when is the next time I can go. And maybe I'm also rather bad, but I'm not willing to let my MIL have her way cos of her superstitions!
 
RXmom/i'ilCY
haha...maybe we'll scare all the first time MTBs with our kids' antics!!! LOL.

If this is on, hbs are welcome too ok? wingkei, can bring your hb so we can all scold him...lol
 
Wow.. many of u ladies going for your week 24 appt already. So good.
Actually i am quite disappointed with my gynae. He always makes me feel i am asking stupid qs when i have enquiries. I dun feel comfortable with him anymore lor. I dun think i will be going back to him if i expect my 2nd.

Due to my sudden bleeding, i went to see him yday, he said there is no more bleeding liao and the way he say it is like machiam i bluff him i got bleeding like tat. I know my bleeding/spotting more or less reduced but i wan to hear wat he think my bleeding is caused by?? Isnt it only fair that i pay so much and he at least advise me with his 39 yrs of experience?? His fees are not cheap lor $3500 for C-section. I hv to fork out another $1000 for GA and $2000 for a 4 bedded. I really feel sometimes i spend so much and i cannot have a satisfied consultation lor.

My next appt supposed to be on 2 june, jus becos i saw him yday, he postponed my appt to 21 june. Nevermind, but he did not even tell me the baby's weight or take any photo of the baby with the scanner. Since my sonographer told me to go for a re-scan of gender, there is a possibility that my girl is not a girl right? I wanted to ask him so much yday if my bb is still a girl... but i dare not ask him lor... cos everytime i ask him qs, he will give that kind of machiam i asking stupid qs look. V sian.
 
wingkei, after the mad woman episode, he came home with 1 packet fried chicken from foodcourt, then sweet talk me to fry rice for him. so we did the cooking together. but all the while i feel very faint and he saw that, then after that day he never request for home cooked dinner already. until when my morning sickness better. then he start nagging again, but not everyday. so i cooked a few times, then complained really bad about no morning sickness but start to hate the smell of raw meat n keep gagging. he did hear me gagging alot so he din bring up the topic of having home cooked meals again. till now, i started to go back to working life, there's no way for me to cook already. I actually also made him wash all the dishes plus pans and the stove everytime we cook, so slowly he is discouraged to ask me to cook since he have to do so many cleaning up.

my hubby is opposite, i only wished to make breakfast for him. but he hated my type of breakfast of coffee, porridge or sandwich.(He HATE bread. I have never seen him eat bread, even deli bread more than twice a month) he only prefers fried bee hoon etc for breakfast.
 
ava, good suggestion!

wingkei, hugs. i hope your hubby will somehow come to his senses and stop being such a big bully soon.

mrs yap, your doc does seem rather dismissive. 2 jun is not exactly v close to yesterday either. did he charge u for the consultation yesterday?
 
Ava, my hubby thinks I am spending too much time reading the forum and think you are all a bad influence on me. You think he will come to any gathering? ;p
 
xuanting...
he so exp liao and still charge me i will faint lor. But he keep telling me if i were to go to hosp on sun night, $150 will go to him and another $150 will go to the hosp fees. Makes me v turned off lor.
 
i think wingkei's hubby will not dare to meet. hehe... then they will blame and scold wife for telling ppl about their problems. My hubby is always afraid of going to my mum's house after he had bullied me badly and made me cry or turn into mad woman, he scared that i had complained to my mum abt what happened. and when he go, he will keep asking me why my mum so black face to him issit i complain to my mum that he bully me. truth is i didnt tell my mum anything and he is just GUILTY. I told him that. if wan to bully wife why still scared ppl know. hehe
 
I guess when it comes to 'disciplining' the hubby, just have to let him know that there are plenty of other men out there who are interested, and he cannot be complacent...My hubby knows my stand if he ever dares to bully me. We aren't living in the dark ages &amp; don't need to take any nonsense from the men
happy.gif
 
mrs yap, understand how u feel... spend so much money yet not have a satisfactory consultation, esp since you were bleeding and are a first-time mtb. are u on mc now?
 
Wow wow! Been only a day and it seems that everyone is hot on topics here! Really amazing the strength and power of MTBs=)

Wingkei
When are you planning to go for your trip? I want to plan for a really short trip but i'm afraid that at 24 weeks, I will be tired on going for trips or even taking any plane rides. Does anyone have any gd advice as to how many weeks is still considered a "safe" period to travel? Maybe to nearby countries like bangkok..

Mrs Yap
I'm feeling sorry for you abt your gynae giving u all the doubts and making you feel silly abt the enquiries. Come on, we are first-time mothers, how are we supposed to know what to expect for good health of our baby and ourselves? I tot that is what gyanes are for in the first place? I really wonder how some of them are able to stay in this line for so long, without being booted out. My first gynae also showed zero concern and response when i asked him questions, or when i tell him during my first trimester that I am vomitting badly and stuff. Then he told me that "oh, in that case, your 2nd pregnancy is going to be worse". I was like, WHAT? you are not even the least concern, just say that to frighten me. Make me feel like this is going to be my first and last bb...so upset. So i changed my gynae. BTW, my first gyane was from KK..not that i have something against the public hospital though..but luckily i went to change my gynae to TMC, and now much much better. You paid for the consultation, so TELL him straight that you want to check on the baby's well-being and weight. Nothing beats the importance of bb's wellbeing.

LC
Me also have strong craving for beef! I just lurve the beef bowl from Yoshinoya. Now also got to control my diet and sugar-intake, cos really cannot resist ice-cream and soft drinks. Scared contract gestational diabetes..GRUH...
 
yan
I think husbands must be taught a "lesson" sometimes..Ask them to try bearing the bb themselves, i think they will be the ones turning into mad men lor..no matter what we say or tell them, they will never understand the pain, suffering we go thru, labour and all the morning sickness, backpain, heartburn..unless they bear it themselves!and after all the pain, the baby "belongs" to the IL-side. Unfair...
 
Gathering
Alright ladies, I have the green light for a gathering at my place on Sat 31 May. Afternoon tea? Say 3-5pm?

Can we make it a semi potluck so i will prepare some stuff but supplement with your contributions?
 
Jasmine
ya... my hb told me next baby dun consult him anymore. During my 1st trim, I had spotting v badly, i was v worried and he thinks i am being too doubtful.. he even called me doubtful Thomas.. then he says if i am expecting a girl, gonna call her Thomasia... argh.
I had an operation on womb 3 mths before i got preg, n my bleeding is making me so worried. Sometimes when i ask qs, he feels its stupid qs n he will turn his head to my hubby and tell him dun worry instead.. he told my hubby i am too nervous... I also dun understand why he like tat.. if onli he is a woman and he will know how it feels like to be pregnant and wearing a pad to absorb the bad bleeding when preggy
 
Mrs Yap, glad to hear everything is fine for you =)

As for me, I put on 8kg at my 23 week. So terrible! Saw the postings of mummies bumps all looks smaller than mine. Was thinking is mine too big... Feel that my tummy is so heavy now, until i don't feel like walking much.

I saw a pregnancy book, more weight gain suppose to be at week 24 onwards. Percentage of total weight gain during pregnancy is as follows:
0-3M - 10%
3-5M - 25%
5-7M - 45%
7-9M - 20%
Meaning I may shoot over 20kg of weight gain. *Sob sob*

Wow buffet gathering!!! But I must control my diet now, don't think I can resist the temptation if I am there =(
 
Please add/delete where applicable:

**Gathering**
Date: 31 May (Sat) 3-5pm
Venue: 112 Potong Pasir Ave 1 #07-664
Interested MTBs:
Ava
Shazz
Bacon
Jaymickey
Mei
LC
storeberry
Qiuling
Stef
Mrs Yap
Mei
bigtoes

HOWEVER, if you are more keen on dinner on 30th lemme know please!
 
<font color="119911">T_T (t_t) - meaning after the 6 mth mark (24 weeks), we should be at 65% of the total weight gain....if i am gunning for 12kg, then I should be up 7.8kg by now...I am at 6kg or so, and my gyne already said i gained too much last month!
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Ava (avalyn) - thanks for opening up ur place! Whereabouts is this? Are hubbies welcomed, or we rather not have them around? Don't know about having a potluck thou, I don't cook (other than to bake breads &amp; cookies) &amp; think it might be easier to order in? Don't want any mommies to end up with tummy upset cos of me...!</font>
 


Jasmine Lim, that's y i told my hubby infront of his mother n grandmother n my mum before already that there is no way he can feel what it is like to carry a baby cos he is a guy, he can never ever in his whole life be pregnant! haha! Nowadays my hubby see my tummy get so big already he also scared. then the attitude better abit... Last time first trimester i tell him change place with me and experience the morning sickness, he said 'gladly. YOU take over my job!'. so tell him to change position doesn't work with this guy one.
 
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