(2008/09) Sep 2008

wingkei,
I think part of his behaviour could be the fact that it happened so quickly. Hopefully ur hb will come round to the fact that what he says and does hurts u and things will improve. Remember, we had been married 4 years and dated 7 years before we got married and my hb still wasn't ready! I have some guy frends who were also the same boat and who fell in love with their baby (and of course their wife) once born and the relationship just gets much better after that.

Prenatal classes are a good idea..i didn't take any cos my mom is a physio and taught me the antenatal stuff at home. what's also useful would be classes after birth, like how to bathe baby. I am interested in hypnobirthing, but that may be a waste of time seeing as mine might be C-section this time depending on how babies are positioned...sigh.
 


wingkei (wingkei) - i just called TMC this morning to ask abt their pre-natal classes. Not sure if you are delivering at TMC, but not a prerequisite to join the class.
Check out their childbirth education course at - http://www.thomsonmedical.com/facilities.htm

I pre-booked a Sat slot already, thou the lady told me to only make payment in week 20 (classes start at about week 27) for 5 weeks.
 
Hi Ava, its encouraging to see what you have written..
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Cheers gal!

Sometimes my DH cannot make it to the gynae, I will also go there alone. Actually its not that fearful. DH is a workoholic so most of the time he is busy at work. My frens did offer to accompany me but I feel that still ok, unless I don't feel well, then with DH's accompany definitely better.
 
Storeberry
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Sometimes i find it's better if hb doesn't accompany me cos he likes to tease me and talk about how much of my bump is my own fat...
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learnt not to take it seriously already...cos I want him to be honest with me anyway and not tell me i look great when i look like a whale hahaha! Aiyoh, next visit, DH is working on sat, so I have to drive adan to swimming class, then myself to gynae...i hate driving!!
 
ya... it's ok to see the gynae alone... i also went alone for the 1st 2 check up... it's ok 1...

wingkei... u dun b sad... i oso think gng for the pre-natal classes is good for u...

anything dun keep it to urself.. finf some1 to talk to or pour all out over there....please take care of urself for ur baby...
 
Ruixiang'smum aka RXmum... remember yesterday u mentioned yr hubby in US u have a list of things to ask him to buy which is cheaper?
Can u share n advise me wat are the things which are necessary n cheaper to buy in the US. Cos i check with my hubby le and he says he frequents shopping malls like Target.
Other ladies know of things which are cheaper to get in the US can enlighten me?? keke thanks ya
 
Hi Mrs yap, if you are into branded stauff, Coach, Tiffany, Oakley, Levis, Guess is cheap there! Old navy for cheap maternity or bb's clothes (its quite cute!), Victoria secrets for underwear (I think my bum is getting bigger cos underwear like too small liao, irritating leh). Abercrombie tees are nice but abit ex.

Shopping is fun!!! I wish to go US leh but nobody to go with me..
 
storeberry, u make me missed shopping in US... aww.. all the factory outlets shoppings.. but now can't afford to shop like that liao
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koras, i was told that mothercare and clarins stretchmark cream is good. i tried mothercare's once and i don't like the smell, so now using the clarins one.
 
koras
I'm using ErbaOrganics stretchmark cream in the day & the oil at night.

Ava
I am also going to start on Pilates next month. I need to get a letter of approval from my doctor before I can start.
 
Wow, i haven't even bothered about stretch mark creams...don't think my tummy has grown that much yet - hopefully its not going to suddenly expand in the last 2 months.
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Read that how bad the stretch marks are is more of a function of your own skin, rather than the type of creams used as prevention, thou moisturiser would help if the area gets itchy when its bigger. Like i know someone who gained 25kg when preggers, but ended up with no stretch marks!
 
ava, wow, that's a long journey with your hubby. i guess we women can learn beta thru lessons of life, and tat's how we strength ourselves thru difficult situations n trials.

wingkei, i also used to feel more zest abt my preg, and i was the one who signed up forum like this to learn from experienced mums, i bought all the necessities(and un-necessities) myself, came out with the $ mostly from my own pocket(hubby paid for the gynae+other medical exp), i felt tat i was ALMOST by myself coz i was more INTO it.

think alot of times we need to teach our hearts how to feel, and not just take them the way they came. ppl can treat us any way they like, but it depends on how we allow those emotions to fill our beings. you must learn to filter... =)

u mentioned u hv some prior experience, thot this is your first BB?
 
Stretch Mark cream: I used Palmers. I find it's very good. Nos tretch marks from the 1st pregnancy for me also.
I order from drugstore. Cheaper than in Sing. Per tube costs less than $10 incl shipping.
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Mei
where are u doing the pilates and what are the fees like? matwork or machine? Yes, I am gonna get OK from doc first too.

Bigtoes
Your tumtum will expand quite quickly during 2nd and 3rd tri. better to put cream NOW! But u're right, as it depends on skin type and genetics. Need to put esp if u have dry skin as that means more prone to stretch marks ...like poor me...My belly area under my navel is like a zebra. But strivectin (after u stop bf) will help!
 
bbmouse
you want my palmers? i react to the cream...waste to throw away. since u buy so cheap, i'll just give u lah...?
 
@loever@, thanks for all the advice. I think I must also learn to see things more openly now. Oh, this is my first BB, but then I am the eldest cousin, and have a string of cousins younger than me, I started carrying them when they were 5 hours old, since I was young, and my mom also did confinement for a few when my aunts gave birth. Which is why I trust my mom more to do my confinement since she really has the experience. I also helped to care for them since they were at my house so I kinda have the experience.

Eg. My MIL told my hubby that I cannot bathe at all, but even I know better than her that I can bathe, but I must boil herbs to bathe.
 
ava, is there belly dancing for pregnancy? it sounds like fun. i'm also thinking of doing some prenatal exercise, still looking around for choices.
 
hi wingkei, i'm also thinking about donating my bb's cord blood to the blood bank but haven't actually checked out the details yet. i hear that you can only do it if you give birth in a govt hosp but haven't confirmed that yet.

i'm sorry to hear of all the unpleasant things your hubby has been saying to you the last few months. do come in here and pour it out to us whenever you feel like it. i think it's not just a man thing; your hubby quite clearly has problems empathising with others but it's not your job to change or educate him for now; it's more important to keep yourself mentally sane and emotionally supported. we can't do much for you but we're all here for you and listening. hugs.
 
jessi
There was a contact on one of the sites...I'd be keen but am not sure if i have the stamina for it! At the moment, i get winded so easily...!

Wingkei
Ah, I see why u r more keen on ur mum to do confinement...Think Mei's advice on getting a neutral CL is a good idea, if u can afford it and if u can get your way...
 
hi wingkei, cheer up! :p Our mood does directly affect our BB.. So muz b happy within ownself.. keep hubby out of the mind for these period.. though say is easier than action..
For ur health n BB sake.. cheer up! Hugs

Eg. for myself, I was upset & stress over some issues @work recently and immediately the stress & upsetness affects my health which in turn will worried affect BB development nt.. I was dwn wif fever & body aching.. then follow by coughing n it becum so bad dat triggers few days migraine nw.. so currently if i cough too jialat, can feel the rite brain vessel throbing wif pain/heaviness n can even cough till vomit (not morn sickness)
 
Hi Mrs Yap,

Lots of things are cheaper in the US. When I was in the US last time with my hubby, we shipped back lots of stuff, though that doesn't make sense now that my hubby is going for just 1 month and no shipping allowance is given. I bought so many clothes for my son that since coming back, I have not bought a single piece of clothes for him. Still wearing those I bought in US. :p

Things to get in the US.

- BB clothes from Osh Kosh B'gosh factory outlets, Old Navy, Children's Place (during sale prices are even lower)
- Leapfrog toys (half priced compared to those in Singapore. Sometimes Target will have offer). I have some toys that I sold second hand here and still make a profit over my cost price.
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- DVDs (from Amazon)...Eric Carles dvds, etc. Can get Baby Einstein from Ebay
- Books (from Amazon). Lots more variety as compared to bookstores in Singapore.
- Diaper cream, e.g. Desitin Creamy
- BB/ toddler toothpaste
- Bb shower products, e.g. California bb products that are ultra sensitive for sensitive skin (can buy from Ebay merchants, can be cheaper than shops). My son had ecxema last time and I also bought Mustela products. Very moisturiser and good. Now that I am in Singapore and when hubby is not going to US, I still buy from US and get it shipped over. Works out cheaper. But better to get there to save on shipping.

This is just a short list.., to know what are the things to get from US that are cheaper there, you might want to check out what other mommies spree on in the other overseas spree thread.

Can I ask, where is your hubby located?

Hope this helps.
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Hi Ava,

Can buy from www.drugstore.com
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Mrs Yap,
If your hubby has time, can ask him go Garage Sale on saturdays and sundays around his area. I bought a Tommy Hilfiger dress, a very sweet dress for 2-year-old in like-new condition for US$6 last time.
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damned proud of myself when I find such deals. Hopefully I will have a girl this time round to wear that dress.
 
wow RXmum... thanks for yr detailed information.
V tempted to buy Osh Kosh for my bb but the prob is i still dunno the gender yet lor...

milky... eversince my hubby went overseas i was crying everyday.. but this is something which i cannot control lor...
Last sun i was waiting for the bus to my MIL hse and i waited soooooooo long (half hr) lor... like tat only i feel v sad and i cried at the bus stop. It doesnt make sense to me now why i shd cry but i guess it is the weepiness sydrome of pregnant ladies.
Today a colleague actually make me v turned off too... v angry with her attitude n sarcastic remarks over job issues. For no reason she come n SUAN me over the company's communicator. Some of the words she used are... "if i were u i go and die liao"...
I keep consoling myself n dun wan this to affect my mood. She knows i am preg and she still says these kind of hurting stuffs.. some pp are really mean lor. Anyway, frankly speaking, the way i consoled myself is by thinking, she is a unmarried 'butch' n she doesnt understand how a preg woman feels and she is insensitive and i shdnt blame her cos besides fulfillment from her job, she cannot seek solace elsewhere.
 
ya..mrs yap.. i agree dat we pregnant women r very emotional nw n cries easily.. i aso shed alot of tears over wrk for the past 2 weeks..
luckily hubby n family n some colleagues hav been v supporting n comforting during these period..
some ppl r realy mean or dun understd how we pregnant women feels.. they jz wanna hurt u or take ur pregnancy as advantage to them
wat to do.. i hav nw learned to get over it and take things easy.. no point hurt my BB and affect my health over jz a Work!
 
Mrs Yap
OMG what a shitty colleague.

Re: crying, last time round, I embarrassed myself and hb by crying along the underpass from Tangs to Orchard MRT cos my hb refused to buy cloth nappies...lol felt really silly after my mood cleared up.

RXmum
Thanks!! Yay! Desitin!

Mei
Their site doesn't have fees...rough cost per class?
 
Hi xuanting, that used to be the case, but no longer so now. They collect cord blood from all 9 hospitals in Singapore now.
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I'm considering that as an option lor. Why let the blood go to waste when it can help to save other people, and I know I would find storing in those private blood banks to expensive.
 
Ava
Oops.. forgot to type the fees. A package of 10-Mat sessions will cost $470/- (limited to 6 persons in a class) and a package of 10-Reformer sessions will cost $660/- (limited to 4 persons in a class).
 
Mei
Wah...exp man. But pilates always is. I think poor me will stick with yoga..or maybe just swimming that I'm doing once a week now.

Anyone else swims at Bishan pool on saturday mornings? I use the medium pool (1.0m depth one) that someone mentioned in a prev conversation about pools.
 
milky, at least u got yr hb to hug hug for comfort. Everyday i go home i can only see 4 walls. Still hv to wait so long for him to come back... btw, my parents dun live in spore as they migrated to europe long ago, they onli come back during CNY. My only sis is pursuing studies in Aus. So sometimes i feel i am all alone and cry myself to sleep every night.
But i certainly feel better when i complain over the forum la... hehe

Ava.. the way u say wat a shitty colleague actually makes me feel better leh... OMG i think i becoming v "bian tai" liao... haha thanks for venting the anger for me...
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Mrs Yap
LOL, I vent a lot...good for the soul
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Am glad to be able to vent for you too
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sorry what is "bian tai"?

I know a lil bit how u feel about being lonely. When Adan was born my hb was away for work too and i had no maid, no mom, no mil, blahblahblah...was v sad. When's hb back?
 
Hi Mrs Yap,

LA is good, since it's near to quite a few different factory outlets.
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Actually I am in the same position as you. I cried this morning, as I am starting to feel the strain of my situation when my hubby goes away from May until Dec 08. He will be away for most of my pregnancy. Though he will be back every 2 months to see me and our son, I am worried that I might not be able to cope having to work, look after my son and myself. There might even be the possibility that he might not be back in time for my delivery if labour starts!

My hubby is now asking me to consider if I would want to go with him. But, I don't want to lugi my maternity leave again (I lugi once when I delivered my son in the US). It's important as I am bonded and the maternity leave counts towards my bond. I want to finish my bond asap and do something else with my life. So am in a dilemma...
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milky,
talk about stress.. i'm having it.. and i really suspect it to be the work of my pregnancy now.. just this week starts and my face have another round of outbreaks again.. this time round... on all the wrong places.. kekeke.. sign..
Dun know whether HB sick of looking at me on my face.. no wonder he's not giving in to me when i say i wanna spend some money to buy bb stuff..
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ava, ya i also think belly dancing will need more stamina especially when the tummy get bigger.

actually i'm quite interested in the aqua fitness class at KK hospital. dunno where else got offer such classes.
 
hey mr yap.. dun feel sad or lonely ok?
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i can understd how u feel.. my hubby aso travels v often.. i aso do comfort myself v frequent whenever im alone even b4 i got preggy.. try miting frends or surfing forum or pick up any activities to occupy ur mind.. myself dun post much but read alot frm wat u gals wrote.. v informative n supporting at times..
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RXmom
Wah, you're v brave to handle the preg and RX by urself for so long! If your baby is born in US, will he/she get US citizenship? maybe worthwhile for that...but tough choice.
 
Hi Ava,

If it's US, I will definitely not hesitate to go. But this time round, it's not and it's somewhere in the middle east... not familiar with language, not familiar with hospital charges, etc... so a little hesitant. Somemore this time round, RX will be in tow.. so got more considerations.

My hubby was saying that we make the decision to have this second one during the time when he was away, so why now I feel that I cannot take it? Think it's prenatal blues partly.
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RX was born in the US and he has US Citizenship.
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hi momoko.. dun stress over wrk or anything else.. pimples breakouts is still ok nw.. dun let stress affects ur health which is worst than having pimples.
i hav been hearing close ones telling me..it's jz work, my dear.. dun let it stress u n affects u n most importantly it's BB dat matters nw.. dat time i was badly affected n couldnt hear any advises.. n had been crying evry day n even @office.. (tiking back.. regretted!) thus, eventualy i was defeated by stress n was v sick..
 
Wow, looks like everyone is more emotional during pregnancy! As for me, i am still okie - only cry when i watch sad soppy movies (which i do anyway)....though i did fall down in the rain yesterday when walking back home & cried like a baby when i came in & saw my hubby.

He thought that pregnancy would be like a perpetual PMS, so he is very glad that i am still very 'normal' for a pregnant woman. 2nd time mommies - is the 2nd & 3rd trimester alot harder (mentally/emotionally at least - physically of cos, since we would be huge towards the end)
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ava... haha.. thanks leh. Bian tai means pervert lah... my hubby be back in another 2 to 3 weeks which cannot confirm the exact date yet.

RXmom... when i read yr post, i think my 3 weeks is small case compared to yrs lor... yr hubby away for sooooooooooo long ah? But i think it is better to stay in spore lor. At least u got yr other family / relatives here to look after u. Somemore u hv to adapt to the american culture during pregnancy is nt so good lor. that means u hv to change gynae too... I really hope u can hv the best solution to yr situation soon...

momoko... think yr hb wont mind yr looks bah... perhaps its our own thinking onli... cos i am also like tat.. when i cannot get with my way, i think of 101 possibilities why my hubby dun give in.

ANyway just to share with u ladies what i read on the net last night. It says the Father-to-be actually produces a certain kind of hormones during their wives pregnancy and this hormones actually allow the fathers to feel towards and start to love their unborn babies... So sweet right?? No wonder i feel my hubby really talk so much abt babies nowadays while previously he dun even feel like being a father yet. He even sms-ed me saying he saw a cute baby on the bus with his leg sticking out the pram and relaxing... cant believe he sms his kind of msg to me lor... v heart warming right? keke
 
Ava
Thanks for the link!
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For me, I guess my pregnancy made me stronger.. last time I would just keep quiet when my MIL passes some undesirable comments but now I dare to speak up.. lol.

MrsYap
That's really heartwarming.. I think esp when our hubbies see our tummies grow & see our bb during the scan that their paternal instincts kick in.
 


Ava: You're giving away Palmers Stretch mark cream? How come? I ordereed 3 tubes from drugstore recently. I think they shd be enuf for me til the last trimester. Thanks for the offer. Why not you keep it for yourself first.
 
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