(2008/09) Sep 2008

For breastfeeding, i have told my parents n DH that im determined to breastfeed my gal before i gave birth so they were very supportive of me (unlike my MIL). In fact, my mum even make papaya fish soups to boost supply n even help me to massage when they are engorged and painful !! Lotsa support from my mum n DH during the initial tough period really helps alot.

Also i feel very paiseh to bf openly in front of mil, not used to exposing myself in front of a stranger..haha...my own mum different mar, really family so buay paiseh.. good thing that was my mum who did confinement for me.

Hi Isabelle: Same here abt the longan tea, my mil make it so concentrated n sweet then how to drink that whole day without giving me any plain water ? I told her that its too conc i cant drink this whole day then she damn stuborn insist its good n force me to drink, until i buay tahan n ended up in quarrel...
 


about mil:
yes, I agree MIL generally have a very different way of bringing up children... I have been taking care of my daughter on my own for the first year. She recently just came back (retired) to help look after her... many conflicts... but after awhile, I learn how to accept her thinking to certain extend and also force my hubby to tell her certain things have to be done certain ways... but sometimes, thinking about it, their method is also not that wrong, it is just different... just that it will get on my nerves... for example, since she is main caregiver now, I was thinking of attending a infant first aid course together with her... guess what her reaction was? I have brought up two children fine, why would I need to attend such a course? I know roughly what to do... sigh... I dare say she has never been in a real situation where she has to perform CPR or what.. the main issue is they have brought their own children up their own way and think that theirs is the best way... possibly not the best method in our own perception... Also not too sure if anyone of your mil is like that... I really hate it most when she tries very hard to be the person that my baby loves most... she just wants to keep carrying her, snatching her from my arms when I am carrying her... now, when I say she is sleepy, she tells my baby that mama and papa dun know, but she knows that she is hungry... come on, she just had milk less than 3 hours ago... but she insistingly brings out her porridge to feed her... after a couple of months, I let her be...
 
oh ya, about breastfeeding... just becos her children did not take to BF and preferred formula, nobody else in the family including my hubby supports that... so I only managed to BF my baby for first two weeks and had to stop becos of breast milk jaundice in my baby... then very difficult to change back becos my baby preferred formula and no support from family to try very hard to switch back... AND I am sure most of us know that there is no need to give babies plain water in the first couple of months... my MIL said how can she not drink water? and forces my baby to drink water... but luckily for me, she still will respect our decisions in certain ways... we told her that the doctor says making the baby drink water will only reduce her milk intake and insufficient nutrients for her...

after complaining to my hubby every singly thing she does and sometimes he tries to do something about it, we get along ok now... at least she is not very very stubborn...
 
Goldfish (goldfish1395) - you are already using anti-stretch mark cream? I was thinking we don't have to use till maybe the 4-5th month? On what cream to use, I think another recommendation would be the body butter from Body Shop - its cheap, nice smelling & quite rich
happy.gif
Better to avoid Palmers since so many people end up with allergies!

Meanwhile, so many scary MIL stories! I guess its either getting a maid, or having the MIL help out in most cases - but can consider infant care also if you rather not have your MIL take care of the baby. Even my office building has an infant/child care center for babies 3 months and above.
 
but I must add, having a MIL is still better than a maid or infant care... in my opinion.... as though methods are different, they genuinely love their grandchildren... if you want to have a maid, you will also need someone to make sure that the maid is not up to any nonsense.. so I rather settle for MIL... of course own mum or yourself the best... but sometimes, situation does not allow it...
 
ying ling, i agree tat MIL will definitely hv more love n affection for our little ones than a maid. but for my case, my MIL never taken care of her own kids personally, it's her mom/MIL, then maids until now... so she doesnt hv a personal touch with her children, not to mention basic knowledge of taking care of a NB.

she lifted my girl OFF THE BED by grabbing her ankles while changing her nappy when she was only 3day-old. i had the SHOCK OF MY LIFE when i witnessed tat alrite!! i was angry n anguished, coz i had to do my confinement at her place. i cried quietly in my room coz i was feeling helpless(i miss my mom n siblings), painful(my wound from natural delivery), n tired(due to lack of sleep from BF-ing), angry(my MIL lied to me tat she KNEW how to take care a BB).

after stopped crying, i called my mom n told her tat my NB will die very soon, maybe cant pass a mth.. she was shocked, and all my siblings n her came to visit me the next day(public hol). i cried when i saw my family... since then, my mom stayed back at my inlaws to take care of me and bb until we moved back to my own place after 40days of confinement.

my mom is staying with us now, for wkdays, and she will go back to her own place on fri afternoon. n my girl will follow wherever she goes.

from this experience, i realised tat OUR OWN family support is v impt if we are close to them. we need to hv alot of support to go thru the confinement n maybe 1yr down the road. motherhood is never easy... i also got into post natal blues due to the emotions involved during my confinement at inlaws..

think things shld get beta for this 2nd preg since i'm at my own place now, n my mom is with me all the way. i really pra tat God will see me thru and grant me a smooth n safe delivery, n tat i will hv an enjoyable confinement. =)
 
Hi Aloevera : GRAB the NB by ankle ??!? Use common sense also know cannot lar.. *pengz*

Good that ur mum is staying wif u n taking care of ur gal, at least u can be assured that ur gal is in good hands
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I totally agree with u that family support from parents n DH is really very impt, think i would have collapsed if my mum wasnt there for me for the past 1.5 years since my gal was born.
 
Aloevera, wah, ur MIL sounds a little dangerous... my MIL sometimes is also very rough with young children... she pats them very hard on the back... all I can do is keep nagging at my hubby to remind her repeatedly to not do that... that is also one of the reason I do most of the things for my own baby even during confinement.. the only thing I could not do is bath the baby... I did the rest like changing nappies, feeding... I let me MIL take care of ME and family... give me food to eat and wash clothes! haha...
 
aloe vera
poor u! So sorry to hear that. Can't imagine ur horror when u saw that n realised ur MIL can't take care of bb! Lucky u have ur mum now!
My MIL also din take care of her own kids. But mine experience wasn't traumatic. It was funny. One day she said she will change diaper after bb poo, then when my hubby n i checked after that, she change until bb's shirt and even booties also kena the poo she still din know! Haha. Another time she put on the diaper the wrong way. Front at the back, back in front. Everybody laughed at her! Hee...

ying ling
i feel so sad when u said u were forced to give up bf after only 2 weeks...

where to go for infant aid course? I want to attend also. Can let me know? Thx!

Hmm... me also agree with ying ling that no matter how tense relation with MIL is, at least will not abuse the bb... Maid got no guarantee... Even sometimes i get frustrated with my own girl will smack her hand. Woah if it's the maid and no one at home, who knows wat she might do. Not her own flesh n blood after all!
 
ying ling, my MIL also same as yours... she always likes to snatch my girl from my arms... i tell u HOR, i really hate tat feeling!!! sometimes she will purposely come to my house b4 i reach home, then when she saw tat i'm home, she still doesnt want to let go of my bb.

until i hv no choice, i will walk to her and carry the bb, but she will turn her back on me and said, "never mind, never mind, i'm not tired."

WHO CARES whether she is tired anot?????? i just want MY BABY!!!!!

she n my FIL even told my hubby tat when my girl is bigger, she will stay with them(in their own house). i was like, "HUH??? wat makes them think tat i gave birth to my girl so tat they can be parents again and make up the things they regretted they didnt do well when they were young??"

i was angry then i told my mom, my girl is not an orphan, why she has to be separated from her parents? wat will she think when she grows up, why her parents abandoned her??? i simply hv no freaking idea wat my inlaws were thinking, i tell ya!

i dunno if your inlaws has gone to such extremes like MINE! >__<|||

but of coz, they did many stunts apart from this la, so in the end, i decided to confront them and thrash things out with them. i laid my rules in their face n i hv more space to breathe in my own place.

all my frenz also pissed with them when i shared my grievances with them, so u can imagine how much i hv given in b4 i decided i hv had enuff.

now my inlaws hv come to terms tat they cant use my girl to turn back time, or do anything to make up just to make themselves feel beta now. sigh...wat a roller-coaster ride. my inlaws r young, only early 50s, so i dun think it's any senility or wat, it's just plain "kuai lan-ness"!
 
isabelle, your mil so funnie... MINE? she just rolled up the nappy like a BALL, and chucked btw my girl's legs!!! and let her wear pants.

i tot how come my girl looked so funnie, only to find a nappy BALL btw her legs. I TELL YA, i was angry, n didnt find it funny! she shld ask me how to fold n wear a nappy decently on my girl instead of just chucking a nappy ball like tat...

i was so emotinally, mentally n physically strained to my BONES, n she kept doing all these to me n tat was only the first day! i wanted to be nice to her, but i dunno how to hide my sadness n helplessness... =(
 
baby atom
me too. I dun let MIL watch me bf cos i cannot imagine her looking at my breasts!


The only ppl who were against bf were actually my 2 aunties. One kept saying formula is better. How can dun drink? The other din bf her 2 kids and said how can i tahan bf? Bf so terrible. But i just ignored them... Cos only aunty mah, dun see everyday...
Actually it's bf that saved me from super hot longan tea and excessive ginger n sesame oil in my confinement food. Cos eventaully MIL heard from her frens that bf cannot eat so much ginger, not good for bb and may get jaundice. Dunno true or not but i'm glad she believed in that! Haha
Also cos of that i din have to drink DOM. Otherwise MIL sure force me to drink everyday and it tastes terrible. Once she said just try once ok? she cook with chicken. I thot just add one or two tablespoons so i said ok, Sekali her chicken is totally boiled in nothing but DOM. Tasted so horrid i only ate a bit. But it was so potent that my bb was so groogy for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Din even want to wake up to drink milk. Lucky FIL suddenly made the connection and then MIL never ever ask me to drink DOM again!
 
aloe vera
woah ur in-laws sound scary! Yah, i dun really like hearing wat u said abt ur MIL trying to fight with u for affection from ur girl. Is she deprived or what? Ur girl din see u whole day she shld zi dong pass baby to u what. And so what if she takes care of bb? U're bb's mother, bb love u more nothing to be insecure abt, as long as bb loves her too. Sorry, but I think she sounds so insecure and deprived. ANd how can they just tell u that ur girl will stay with them? This kind of decision is not for them to make!
And what's this abt nappy ball??? My gosh!!!
 
Hi Aloevera : Nappy ball ? haha so funny !! Im trying very hard to control my laughter in the office cubicle now. :p at the very least if she dont know how to fold the nappy correctly, at least she fold the nappy like a towel n put at bumbum instead of a ball rite ? haha...

Same here lor,I also have alot of grievance with my MIL (very kuai lan) , my frens all say y she like that ? n she's only in her 40's ! but thinking super obiang.
Last sat early at 8 o clock in morning call my home to scold hubby y he neva go over to her home to help with spring cleaning..buay tahan !


Hi Isabelle : Wah the DOM so strong ar, make yr gal mabok for 2 days ! hee...
 
xuanting,
the charges include antaneal charges + hospital ward charges ?

cos hospital charges normally break down into ward type + any extra doc charges + epidural charges lor.

maybe u wanna to ask the doc to breakdown what it include.
 
babyatom,
your MIL shldnt cook hard liquor at all! my fren's MIL went to boil martell chkn for her, n the hard liquor was too strong for the bb inside her, and the brain was spoilt. turned out to be vegetable. MUST NEVER EVER BOIL OR COOK HARD LIQUOR. all housewife will know this rule, coz liquor will evaporate, n the substance will change with high temp.

my MIL didnt dare to play with my food(heng ah!) so she just bought me DOM n Wincarnis, and watever my mom told her to get for my confinement food. one thing my MIL is generous, n caring.

but after my girl is out, things changed... she became possessive towards her until today...

ya, she shldnt just tell my hubby her decision n tats final! i gave birth to my girl, she comes from me, she is mine... n i need her n vice versa.

this is the voice of every mother, she shld know better rite...
 
Hi, Eveyone

Yesterday was doing spring cleaning so din log in and the postings have been flowing speedy.. my poor hubby has been very involved in doing the housework and cleaning until feel so bad that I am not helping out much..

Hi, Aloevera

Saw your posting on the nappy ball.. hahaha.. so farnie.. your MIL dun know how to take care of baby? My goodness. I dun know abt mine but definately for sure is that the child will be spoilt by MIL. I have made it a point to hubby that discipline should be from both of us cos we are the parents and not from grandparents..

For BF, if really can, I will want to BF even if MIL says no no.. I will make sure I hand her bottles of my milk and she is going to feed with that and not anything else... sometime old people they will employ their old mtds to bring up their grandchildren and this can be very bad..
 
五只老鼠：鼠财宝，鼠平安，鼠吉祥，鼠如意，鼠快乐。。。鼠年行大运！！

Wish everyone has a smooth and enjoyable pregancy!!!
 
LC, ya, the grandparents will spoil our kids, and it's our duty to discipline them. i dun "chap" when they spoil, so they dun dare to "chap" when i discipline also...

but my own mom will snatch my cane from me....faintz**

but spoiling is inevitable coz she is the first grandchild of both families... but i admit tat i lost my cool due to my current preg, so it's wrong of me sometimes.. =(
 
Yes, Aloevera.. I agreed with you that first grandchild will have the tendancy of being spoilt.. like my nephew, already spoilt by my mum.. My SIL dared not say much but can see she is not very pleased so sometime i will tell my mum not to spoilt him too much.. He is a boy and will need to grow to be independent , cannot everything spoon feed..

I jalet! I believe in corporate punishment, meaning the cane.. sure got conflict with MIL cos she never ever use cane on her children!
 
HI Bigtoes

The body butter u are suggesting issit the cocco butter one huh?

I saw Body Shop has a cocco butter lotion. Thinking of getting that.

I tink better start smearing it on our tummy to let our tummy skin become more elastic and less dry... i have been applying my clarins oil and cream religiously.... hope it will lessen the impact

I have oledi signed up for an infant care service liao. Bobian to be kiasu cos my area only have 1 infant care centre and their intake is nearly full for nov..

It is like costing us $650 per mth.. wat an investment
sad.gif


Bt i am swarmed wif remarks from friends tat infant care sure kena virus easily one lo.. wat to do.. no parental support wor
 
hi Goldfish

Which area are u staying in? Cos I'm also considering infant care since no parental support aft my confinement.
 
Hi Dmbb

YOu may use the following link to choose the infant care nearest to u (or ur work place)

http://www.childcarelink.gov.sg/ccls/home/ChdCccSrch.jsp

I am staying at bishan st 12. We decided to opt for one that is near home instead of office to save the hassle to transport the baby via mrt/bus to work. We dun drive lo :p

Hope u can find a suitable infant care nearby

I hope u will be a working mama cos the subsidy for working mama is higher. Otherwise, w/o subsidy the price is like $1050 something liddat

:S
 
hi xuanmommy, the charges exclude hosp charges. i've been looking in other threads but really still clueless. i've never been v good at counting...

aloevera, have you signed up with dr madeleline tan?
 
Hi ladies, wow so many stories about horrid MIL!! I think really "chuan dao qiao tuo zhi ran zhi", will see how after 9 mths....

Aiyoo.. I also afraid of stretch marks leh...
 
aloevera, ya, my mil is staying with us in the same house... and she is preparing a bed for my daughter to sleep with her... so I asked my hubby you will let your daughter go sleep with your mother???? he said no way, so I let it be... let her continue to think that she will eventually sleep together with her...

Isabelle, I was supposed to stop BF for a couple of days as my baby was having breastmilk jaundice and after that, it was so difficult to put her back on BF... but I believe if I have tried much harder I could have.. it would have helped if my hubby was supportive...

as for first aid course, a few places have it...
http://www.birthandbeyond.com.sg/
http://www.motherandchild.com.sg/firtsaid/firstaid_main.htm
http://www.inspiremumbaby.com/

An accredited one can be done with
http://www.firstaidtraining.com.sg/ Or possible Red Cross

Not sure which one is good... anyone attended any before? I am choosing one to attend at the moment...
 
ANyone knows of Polyp? Can share information on this? Hai... when to doc due to heavy spotting. Found tat theres a polyp at the cervix... doc says it is a growth due to hormones change. anyone had this b4?
 
Hi LC

Erm..actually i onie just know abt this cocco butter when i called up a post-natal massage lady for her rates. She was asking me wat cream am i applying now and suggest i use cocco butter cos it is more effective

She claims that she always ask her clients what cream they are using when they dun haf stretch mark when she is doing masssage for them.

She claim that cocco butter is always the one tat is more effective

Bt i dunno zun or nt and neither i know the complication issues wor.

She told me Guardian has, but i tink Bodyshop oso carry the cocco butter series wor. U can check it out.
 
Hi everyone,
I am a first time mum and new to this forum.

In my 9th week now &amp; experienced slight spotting yesterday. called my gynae and he said that this is quite common &amp; I went to work as usual. Is that true? Anyone else experiencing similar stuff?

Was told that due to the location of the placenta, I might have no choice but to go for a C-sect.... anyone have experience with C-sect before? Is it true that recovery is long? Is epidural or GA better?

Is it too early to book a confinement lady? esp. since I read somewhere that the pregnancy is not stable until the 3rd month.... but, is booking during 3rd month too late?

Saw that many of u gals are experienced mummies already... I am having first time jitters &amp; hoping to seek some advice... :<
 
hello,
by my lmp i should be approaching my 8th week but my scan shows that i'm only 6 weeks preg only. no heartbeat. i feel so down eversince i got back from my check-up.
anyone knows what it means or had a similar result? the doc mentioned something like "delayed development". i'm so worried.

i have very regular menses, 28 days. so i supposed my edd by lmp should be accurate. but my baby is still very small. still no heartbeat
sad.gif
 
GOng Xi Fatt Cai!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Goldfish.. I roughly noe wat kind of butter cream you are referring.. you book your massage lady already? That is fast....
happy.gif


Hi, Fsa

Usually heartbeat can be heard abt 6weeks or so onwards..think you can go to your gynae again on the 7th or 8th week.. by then you should be able to see the "twinkle twinkle" heartbeat from the vaginal scan.. or even ultrasound scan.. if you are not bleeding, should be fine..
 
Aiyooo... today I had a shock when I felt something dripping from there, went to toilet &amp; saw two 50cents size red blood stains!! So scary!! Called gynae &amp; he told me to take two hormone tablets &amp; see him on Mon..

Should I go A&amp;E or wait till mon... Pls keep me in your prayers!
 
storeberry
nebbe u monitor first? Meanwhile just lie down and dun do anything except go toilet. If still have a lot then and more episodes of bleeding u better call gynae again or go A &amp; E. R u from TMC? Cos my gynae gave me the TMC emergency no to call if sunday or public hol.
After i was hospitalised 2 days and went home (Me also had blood dripping out but mine was alot more then 50 cents patches) , i had bleeding again. Something like wat u decribed but when i called he said if just one episode no need to panic. If continuos, must stay hospital...
 
Hey ladies... There are free gifts for Mums-to-be from National Library!!
The gift set consist of a Baby Journal where the mummy can record all the details of the pregnancy and baby's growing progress. A baby's height chart, a CD full of nursery rhymes and stories and also a parenting guide book.
What I like best is the Baby's Journal, it is so detailed and even have space allocated for photographs... It will definitely make bb's growing up process more memorable.


1239755.jpg
 
Hi isabelle &amp; Mrs Yap, thanks for your advice &amp; encouragement! How do we get the gift from National library? Just go to counter?

Isabelle: My bleeding come when I urine the whole of last night &amp; when I wipe there is red blood but it is not on my pantyliner. This morning became dark brown, if it is red color will call gynae again...
 
storeberry, jus go to the counter and ask for baby journal... they will know de... bring yr NRIC for verification and u will be asked to fill up a form
happy.gif
 
hi storeberry, ya do lie down as much as you can. it's a good sign that the bleeding is now dark brown. i think it should stop soon but just be extra careful and try not to move around too much after that. take care!

hi fsa, when is your next visit? try to stay positive till then ok?
 
hi all HAPPY NEW YEAR!
anyway i have discharge last 2 days. Im not sure if its spotting or discharge. It seems more like discharge to me. Is discharge a common occurence for early pregnancy? Its making me paranoid!
 
i will engage a CL instead of asking my MIL to do for me. u all know what my MIL say ?? she say do confinement for DIL will be very unlucky. cos need to wash our undergarments for us. later 4d cannot strike !!! in fact my SIL also engage a CL to do for her. in the end my MIL also go to her house and tell the CL want to do. the CL also very fed-up with her...the worst thing is my MIL is staying with me. (FIL not around liao) i think i will go mad during the 1 month confinement. mayb like wat storeberry say, "chuan dao qiao tuo zhi ran zhi"

hi fsa, u quite same as me loh. thot i was 7 weeks but gynae say only 5 weeks. so can u see ur foetus ? i am 6 weeks today. will be gg to another scan next friday at 7 weeks. such a long wait ! i do not have any cramps now. dunno how is bb doing inside....a but worried also..

storeberry, u must really take care hor. u are 8 weeks liao right. bb should be quite stable mah. u got go pai nian ? better rest a home dont move around too much.

mrs yap, u mean ur heavy spotting is due to polyp ? so did ur gynae say any cure for it ? update us and take care ya.
 
hi preggie, ur discharge is yellowish or brownish ?? my gynae say yellowish discharge is normal. preggers will tends to have more yellowish discharge at this time. how many weeks are u now ?
 
hi porky
i think is more yellow than brown. i am at about 9 and half weeks. is it normal?
if not i was thinking of getting pills from my gynae coz he stopped my hormone dosage since last visit about a week ago.
 
Hi Porky, I am 9weeks le, 10weeks next week... I also thought should be stable already, who knows the bleeding came... It was super scary man, couldn;t sleep at all... I am seeing Dr Woody on Mon, praying that it will all be fine, am jittery just thinking about it...
 
porky, u same like me? did doc mentioned something like delayed development. i'm still so worried. my next scan is next, next monday. such a long wait.

anyone seeing ml yeap from kkh??
 
Hi ladies,

I am happy to be able to join you in this forum.
I am currently approaching my 8 weeks.

I would like to seek your advice how you manage MS (e.g. vomit etc) in the office without the colleagues knowing that you are pregnant. My seat is quite far away from the toilet.
 
Hi rabbit, welcome here!

This morning I had a scare of my life!! I had felt something dripping from below &amp; feel like going to the toilet but keep telling myself to wait till later because these two days my morning urine had red blood &amp; it turned to brown in the late morning. But I decided to go &amp; saw that my pantyliner, panty &amp; my sleeping pants is soaked with blood!! I am shocked &amp; scared! My bed also had a big patch of blood there. Immediately I wake my husband up &amp; told him about it, as it was 6:30am, we decided to sms my doctor to see how. Immediately he told me to go TMC A&amp;E, reached TMC A&amp;E at around 7plus, registered &amp; waited for doctor.

All the while I am praying fervently to our Heavenly Abba for healing &amp; strength, I also took holy communion before going to the hospital. It really helped to ease my nerves... And on my way there, I was hearing Pastor Prince message &amp; he said something about a verse that will jumped out to us &amp; suddenly this verse came to me: "Peace I give to you, MY Peace I give it to you." This really give me peace within me...

Finally by about 8am, Doctor Woody came, he did the scan &amp; I saw my dear baby's hands &amp; legs &amp; heartbeat is still there!!! What a relief!! And baby was bouncing away &amp; the little hands swinging away... Aww... Dr was very reassuring &amp; I really felt so much better, he told me there is a blood clot near the waterbag &amp; had to eat 3 hormone tablets now, also took a jab and was told to see him tomorrow again.

The surprise thing is that Dr didn't charge us for the trip there. Because when we were there, the nurse told us that to get Dr Woody we need to pay $250 but that was waived! Final bill came up to me $110. I am very grateful to Dr Woody for making a special trip down &amp; not charging us.

It was really a terrifying morning but glad that it had past &amp; had to stay in bed for the rest of the week. And sorry for the long post!
 


hi storeberry,

glad to hear that you are ok..it must be wonderful to see the little hands swinging away, i can't wait to see my little one doing that too.

vomit twice since this morning, very hungry but just can't take anything. wonder how to survive in the office.
 
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