(2008/07) July 2008

[sdchick]

Michelle
I was going for HK end of last year but then since got bird flu so we delayed our trip.

Emma's first day is tomorrow. She has not been going to school for a long time since November as she kept falling sick. During December she only went to school a few times. Hope she won't fall sick again.

PB
Good to hear Poppy enjoys her new school!

SY
I agree with Cin bunny. Marriage is indeed tough work. Sometimes it is helpful to cool off a bit and need to talk about the issues in a calm manner (which is very very difficult). But what I learned is not to point out whose fault is it (it will be endless) and instead, reach an agreement to move forward, from both side. But unfortunately, the effort to make peace sometimes is not equal, so I told myself that stepping back a little doesn't mean I loose, but a winning move instead cuz it shows that I am willing to forgive to maintain peace at home, and I think in time our hbs will realize this too.

 

[cellow]

SD,
Oh so soon! It seems like only yesterday she was in P3. But that was 3-4 years ago now. She (and you) will do fine in the PSLE.

PB,
Welcome back to independence! Threaten BB that if he doesn’t know how to drive by December this year, you and poppy and little pops wont go back with him to cold cold Montreal. Enough of cabin fever and tired mama having to entertain her. Just plonking in front of the tv is not counted.

Youpi,
*zing * doesn’t P1 start today 3 Jan? work out logistics with S and L? I responded to your email abt car seats, for what it is worth. I will post if C1’s school has the Horrible series as well.

Jo,
Outdoor playground? Get well soon Gwyn!

SY,
Same same. I was seemingly doing everything while Mr C finished his thesis. Ultimate deadline was 31 Dec, else he gets a Dip.Mgt instead of an MBA. He kinda merrily assumed and expected me to do every single d*** thing around the house and with the kids. Things do get better after both sides have had their say in peace, and in love…
Marriage advice from http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/15806/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/ (of all places right) To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief.

off topic - managing the man
I gave up the idea of not bringing them to MY for CNY since as youpi rightly pointed out, it is a pre marriage agreement so there is nothing to fight abt now. however. I am not so happy that he expects us to pay for a Europe holiday to bring the ILs along in may/jun 2013. I never ever want to travel with the ILs again.... like so beholden to them and so big help. What I do not like is having to zip it zip it constantly in front of them. Stay with me at least not so bad, tis my turf and my home. holiday is 24/7. aargh.
also first and last time i will bring both sets of parents out for a holiday... Bali in May this year. siao siao. check in with me how i survived!

 

[smiggleprincess]

hello everyone..

kayden first day and still as naughty..
super active whereas im totally knock out...

PB
the school bus is fun.. saw kayden laughin and exchangin food..
Cameron is not 12hrs.. its only 5hrs.. very nice place..

Holiday
going to kota kinabalu in apr for kayden bdae..
seafood, fireflies and beach resort...
But first, royal caribbean in march.. cant wait.. heard good raves abt it..


JPO
be going again on the 16th..
will call and check if all stores open liao..

Sy
i can sympathise with u...
just went through all these as well.
even throw divorce into the talks..
but for the kids, we have to compromise.. ALOT!!
hence now, maybe more lovey..

Cellow
i will only do holiday with the inlaws if i plan for it... and once a year is good enuff for me..
not that they are not nice, they even pay for all expenses.. i just don like to take advantage of them...

 

[michelletan]

Pb, cameron highlands is 5-6 hours drive lah.. plus we driving up ourselves lah, own time own target, stop anywhere we like... haven decided yet lah, diseyland definitely will go, hubby thinks its more worth it when eboy can appreciate it much better lah..

smiggle, royal carribean is great. food awesome, rooms are big, not so crowded. but but but the ship is smaller plus when you sleep you can hear the ship engine ringing in your ears, hard to get a good night's sleep.. but I will go back again... you took the suite?

SY,
dunno what happened but saw your posting on the FB and kind of expected it could lead to a big fight. i think once the hubby starts to spend a lot of time away from home, and with friends, its a sign that he is not getting what he needs at home. I think there are two school of thought: 1) believe it is a phase and that once he gets everything sorted out, he will be back to normal. thus, give him the space he needs and just play a supportive role... 2) take the initiative to do something different so that you can pull him back to home and to you earlier. it is very hard to balance between the kids, work and marriage. But you have to dedicate time for it. make an effort to leave everything behind and make marriage work, even for only 5 minutes a day, it makes a difference.. hubbies tend to think that we only think of kids and that once kids come along, they are automatically the least important. Don't make them feel this way... oh, and most ppl say the best way to the hubby's heart is through the stomach, cook something special that he likes for no reason, no occasion and see what happens... just stopping everyhting to ask "how was your day?" will make a difference. simple gesture like, hey i'm going to sleep. good night, love you, every night without fail, is a simple gesture. we never stopped doing that, even when either of us are overseas, we say that just before our bedtime. some things stay with the couple and never get compromised come what may. Find that and try to maintain that... oh, and try to spend lunch time having lunch together.. no matter how far your work place is.. it is worth it...

I really hope things will work out for you. try out either method, and see which works better. Fundamentally, DO not compare and ask why are you putting more effort than he is, why are you working harder then him, why this why that. bottom line is, if it matters to you greatly that the marriage is important, then go that every effort you have to make it work!! all the best!

i myself am losing sleep over my ILs not talking to one another, and now that we are staying together, I become the proxy. I am very upset.

 

[jogwyn]

Cell, Cin: thanks, will saying Gwyn on your behalf!

Bb g got it also, but all under control!

SY: *Big Hugs*... as wives, we have an extremely important role to play and it's really tough to balance amongst the tasks. Dont give up, Jia you! Really hope that things will be sorted out soon.

 

[dee2dou]

Haha I can picture dec doing the lion dance.

SY, can see everyone giving out good advice.. It's sure not easy and we all have our rough patches too.. Glad to have you ladies as confidants..hope you can work things out with hubby.. Communication is important..it's always the lack of it they causes breakdowns.

G starts on thurs! Meanwhile, it's still tears when I leave for work!

 

[pinkbunny]

Chill chill SY. Hope talks went ok and things will turn out fine. Sometimes hubbies feel neglected cos we turn all our attention to the kids. So they also need sayang-ing too. But are we superwomen? No la, we also need our own time right? So maybe if he helps more with the kids, you'll then have more time for him? Good compromise?

Walau today poppy napped quickly at 130, I went to lie with her at 330, and when I opened my eyes it was 7pm!!! Now trying to let her drag it out and hope she will sleep through :S

Smiggle
School bus sounds like fun

next term I'll put her on it. Figured this term I will walk with her. Luckily she didn't complain while walking there.

Jo
Hope gwyn feels better soon. Heard liang things help. Like ju hua tea? And barley?

Bbp
I brought back hot weather? Haha I thought it was just me feeling hot.

Batgirl
Uh oh. Better you tell me how much you want cos I'm not in tune with these prices anymore! Also don't want to shortchange you

tell me ok?

Hey anyone has a kangtao for any sentosa hotel for before cny? Thinking of bringing bb for his bday

Disneyland
Sy, no, not bringing baby. She'll be with my parents

long time ago already asked them. Gave them 1 year advance notice wor! Hehe

 

[sychua79]

Mummies
Hugs n thanks for all the support. Sometimes it is true that I feel resentful about doing so much more but he does not acknowledge. A lot of pent up thoughts. In a way I m glad that what happened happened if not we might not have a chance to tall things out. Sometimes men have big egos n when u point out things during normal times nothing gets across in the right manner. But when he does something wrong then he starts to reflect on himself.

Mich
U r right lor. Hee but food is not the way to his heart. I already learnt that a long time ago. My hb dun quite mind whether I cook for him or not!

I guess there's a lot of distrust at this stage n also the realization that family does not give him what he needs does hurt somewhat. But things always happen for a reason n it is up to us to make good out of it right?

Hope your in laws reconcile soon! It can be tough being the proxy...

Smiggle
Hope u n hb getting better too. It is hard to swallow everything at times but we can do it for the sake of family! Like what SD said it does not mean we lose. I tell that to myself all the time.

Cellow
Hee I survive my taiwan trip. But it's easier for me cos they were kept separate n we travelled separately with each group.... So try to plan the trip carefully such that either the 2 sets of parents talk to each other and occupy each other or each set of parent so occupied by one kid each... Then u n hb get time off haha

 

[cellow]

pb,
WOW. fwd planning!

Jo,
PB's post abt liang things reminds me... there is a special sort of flower called jin1 yin2 hua1 (literally golden silver flower) which my mum gives to us to bring down fever, combat HFMD and dunno what else. buy fm any ZTP or Hockhua medical store. boil like crysathemum tea.

SY,
yes it does hurt, the realisation that family cannot fulfil all of his needs. deep breath. perhaps you also have to think of what are your needs, gal, and take care of yourself too.

trip tog w both sets of parents
i m so not looking fwd lor

michelle,
erhmmmmm. is it possible to avoid them altog? and leave them to sort it out themselves..... healthy parents do not triangulate (... psychological term for involve) their children into parental squabbles. fm an article bbp / mr bbp once posted on FB... "it is not age appropriate to expect children to be concerned abt their parents' happiness" and if i might add to that.... AT ANY AGE (the children are).

smiggle,
best. we / i pay for the holidays. me primarily and that breeds resentment. guess what Mr C spends his money on? his bleeping watches!!!! and accessories for them.
i have had big discussions with him already, and he is now slightly better. but i still do not like being his/his family's ATM.

husbands
i was feeling really out of sorts this morning. losing sleep over him / family / work. he came back fm the doctor's last night w 2 days' MC and also told me, good to have 2 days to rest, then followed up with 'shall we go to MBS for lunch?' haiz when i have a work lunch arranged. so sounds like he is not v sick rite.
so i woke him up at 720am this morning to do the normal morng routine. i sent C2 and maid to aunt first as C1 was still sleeping. came back and he was glowering at me, saying that i disturbed his sleep while he is sick. hmmph, i doubt v much that he was THAT sick.
so.... i m petty and mean? by keeping score (not really) that when i m sick, i still wake up of my own accord in the mornings to do the rush rush morning routine before we both go to work..... working at home is still working leh. oh yes and I earn 30% MORE than him. so cut me some slack ok. I m the breadwinner while he spends money on nonsense things, and my salary pays the household bills.

we sent C1 to school tog (after he had whacked C1 for not wanting to go to school - hey fm C1's pov, both mama and papa are at home, why shd he go to school) then sat down for bfast and to clear the air.

 

[jogwyn]

Pb: thanks, tried ju hua, it does help.

Cell: thanks! Jin yin hua, I know! Will go get some later.

*big hugs*... your morning didn't sound very positive. Hope things will get better soon.

 

[smiggleprincess]

Cellow
My hubby earns 3 times more than me..
that give him the power to glower at me and treat me like a maid..
i refused to spend his money on myself and only for the kids..
To prevent quarrels over money, i talk to him alot on our kids, share alot of opinions on how money shld be spent..
when he don cut me any slack, i will remind him again of the things im doing..
Your hubby might be tryin to be still the mcp..
same thing, i find repetition helps.. they always forget..
somethin i don agree, they like to beat the kids and i will give him a pc of my mind.. it affects the kids alot..

Michelle
RC very small?? i took the normal cabin
oh, they have another bigger ship coming in June.. think i will book that too...

 

[sychua79]

cellow, smiggle
it's always the case right, who earns more get more say but i guess at the end of the day if couples really know how to respect each other it shouldn't be that way. certain things my hb has more say and certain things i have more say. but i know he does take my view into consideration even though he can have more say. like when he wanted to change car, even though this time i m not paying for it, he still sought my opinion n he would feel uncomfortable about buying it when i object.

so we must try to steer away from who earns more would have mor say. instead i think we have more say in areas that we know better instead like with regards to kids, mothers definitely has the biggest say!

cellow
i know how u feel. when i m on leave, i still send the kids to sch instead of sleeping late. when he is on leave, he would not send them and i have to rush like mad to send them and then go to work. it's not fair right...but then these are small battles that i prefer not to fight. despite many ppl saying that i spoil my hb cos i dun get him to do his share, i honestly dun wan to fight the battle to get him to do his share. no end to it...

so i think of myself as being more capable, able to multi task and more tolerant haha.....

and you r too!!

mummies
i need a maid...who has recommendation???

 

[cellow]

SY, smiggle,
actually tis not abt who earns more, gets more say.... tis abt his profligate use of his salary while i m the ATM. if i do not earn that much, i doubt he would be buying up the watch shop. tis the knowledge that he only does that bcz i am able to pay the hsehold bills... and now pay for HIS parents to holiday. too much.... kok his head.
anyway, i m keeping a tight rein on the hsehold accounts now.

and.... i dun care. i spend on myself now. when i find the time, i will book manicure, pedicure, facial, massage the works for myself. save save scrimp so hard for wat.

smiggle,
smacking. i do not agree on it and try not to. the man generally is more heavy handed than i m. no doubt C1 and sometimes C2 drive me up the wall, but it is NOT FAIR that they bear the brunt of my frustration.

*ooohm*
*sits in lotus position and meditates to achieve zen-ness*

 

[bluebearypie]

Alamak, I typed a whole lotta stuff but forgot to post and just closed the window.

SY,
Seems like you already have a good plan in place. I'm sure your hubby appreciates you. It's just that sometimes, they don't say it as often as we need it

Leaving 1 kid with each set of grandparents on holiday is such a brilliant idea!!

Cin,
Aye aye, marriage is tough work. So much so that I practically sneer at those mushy weddings nowadays

SD,
Wow! Stress year for you indeed! Good luck! But Ashley looks like a very independent girl so I'm sure you have no cause for worry.

Cellow,
I kowtow to you. Travelling with ILs plus paying for their expenses. The only time I travel with the ILs are on those family trips where HQ says we will go these places, then the minions will do the groundwork such as finding hotels, researching sights and planning actual itinerary.
That article that you mentioned - probably posted by Mr bbp. I don't remember reading such stuff. Haha.

Mich,
So you plan to go Disneyland next March then? Actually I know what your hubby means. That's the reason I never even thought of bringing Declan to Disneyland when we were in Paris last year. But I hope to bring him to USS this year before he turns 4 and then I'll have to pay for his entry liao.

Jo,
Oh yes, now that PB mentioned it, my MIL will always book stuff like green bean soup or barley when Dec is under the weather. Green bean apparently gets rid of toxins and barley is cooling.

PB,
It's either you or 2012. Cos the moment 1 Jan 2012 came, the rain stopped and it's been sun sun sun ever since. I kinda miss the rain actually.
And when you said you wanted to bring bb to Sentosa for his bday, the first thing I thought of was Baby and not Bluebunny. Hahaha.

Money:
I think this is the thing that troubles couples most. And when you take into consideration that we need to put in money not just for household stuff, but children and ILs too, it's just a very scary prospect. *Takes a deep breath*

 

[pinkbunny]

Aiyoh if it ever comes down to "who earns more has more say in the house" then I am screwed big time! But it's always been equal between BB and us. In fact I made it a point not to ask about his salary. Before marriage we sat down to discuss how much each of us would put aside in our joint accounts, where all bills would be paid from. We did it again after poppy came along. Now it's a bit blurred cos of my inconsistent income so he just pays for most things and I try to siam as much as possible haha.

But seriously, remember an article from a couple of years back where the reporter wrote about NY city... Something like if the city were to do away with all the CEOs for one day vs doing away with all the cleaners for the same day, which would be more detrimental to NYC? Not that I'm comparing us to cleaners but if we as mums were to drop dead *choy, touch wood*, the kids' lives would be more affected as compared to their dads gone

Cellow
I feel ya sister. Whether or not I'm working, sick or on leave, I am always mum. Dads somehow get the chance to really enjoy their days off

Having said that, BB has been extremely helpful with the whole jetlag situation wrt poppy

 

[pinkbunny]

Hey mummies
Cin bunny and I are meeting next tues 10 jan at zion road hawker centre for lunch. 12noon. Anyone wanna join? Qing? Batgirl? But got to be chop chop for me cos must rush to pick poppy

How do you girls do it! 3 hour school, no school bus means I technically get less than 2 hours to do everything. Today since the principal chased all parents away, I had a quick lunch, did a quick round of groceries, prepared poppy's dinner and popped beef stew in slow cooker for freezing. Ended up having a 10 min break to rest my crampy butt. Pant pant. Ohhhh my calves feel so crampy!!

 

[cellow]

*turns on sarcastic mode in my mind*
bcz you are my husband, i bring you for holiday and our boys too. no need to bring the entire village.
note - tis i bring him, not he brings me.
think i would be happier if he pays or ILs pay. but can he/they afford it... not that i m v happy to holiday with ILs anyway. time not my own, places to go not i decide. i m a minion... plus ATM. GROWL.

ah the floodgates have opened! and it feels sooooo good to spew all this rubbish out.

bbp,
you re posted fm mr bbp's fb la. the one where the marriage nearly broke down and the wife just bo chap the HB, went abt her own biz and let him be crazy for the entire summer. US article. HB eventually came back to the family.

 

[bluebearypie]

Cellow,
Oei. I buay tahan already. Why like that???? Cannot possibly be pay and be minion too! I growl for you too.
GGGRRRROOOWWWWLLLLLLLL................

Oh... that article ah. But seriously, that woman damn confident la. I also kowtow to her.

 

[smiggleprincess]

PB
poppy will come back and nap right?
so u have another 2hrs..

SY
i found my maid thru Roland employment. very good agency, he interview them himself..
u can say i refer if u go there.. he know me as the mum with the extremely naughty boy.

Cellow
my hubby is a financial planner leh..
i have to present my financials to him lor.. if i wanna justify any major spendin.. even when im jobless i also don take money from him
i also have to keep my bills for 3 yrs..

and i don require him to pay for anythin for my parents..He must be willing to do it out of respect and seeing them as his own parents..
I treat my inlaws nice cos they are nice.. but me and my hubby cant afford trips for them so we always try do somethin else..

 

[smiggleprincess]

bbp
that article ah..
i did the same thing and my hubby came back with divorce lor!

 

[bluebearypie]

smiggle,
Yah lor. That's why I say that woman damn confident lor.

 

[batgirl]

PB,

oh ok! let me think of a price then...let u know when you pick it up. hehehe.

Next Tues looks ok. I confirm with you again on Monday cos dunno when towkay is coming in.

 

[cin_bunny]

cellow - i also growl for u..do in laws know tt trip is sponsored by u? actually, what will happen if u just said u r nt paying for in laws? then they dont go along right? and u can still go for your fsmily of 4 holiday ...

 

[cellow]

tue lunch
go ahead and enjoy gals

would love to join but work....

cin, bbp,
our money is mostly joint. i contribute more than Mr C to joint acc bcz i earn more. so not wholly sponsored by me... however. since Mr C spends on his stuff, not the family stuff, tis my money that is paying for the household.

cin,
if i just say i m not paying for the ILs, then... a war might erupt. however, right now, i m feeling militant. bring it on, i say.
cannot like that though.... the marriage might not recover.... so must think of graceful/tactful way to bring the point across. ideas, anyone?

 

[bluebearypie]

Cellow,
Someone once told me that another way with regards to the joint account is to put in a fixed percentage of each's salary, then that joint account is used to pay for absolutely household stuff. Then the rest of the money is up to the individual on what they want to spend on.
Wait, I think I learnt that from this forum leh... sounds super familiar.

 

[cellow]

bbp,
i said that. and i practise it.... sort of.
actually tis not the watches - big ticket items - that irks me. bcz he did consult me on those. the watches i see as an altv invst asset, so i said ok. comes out of joint account. tis all the stupid accessories that come with them. before you know it, it is a couple of thousand, tens of thousands gone. so many.... taking up my entire cabinet now.

hmm. idea. make him pay for HIS parents out of HIS money.

 

[jogwyn]

BBP: thanks! Green bean soup! Ok, will cook that tomorrow.

and yes! I miss the rainy days and cool weather!

Pb: Tues lunch can't. Josh not in town.

Cell: can feel for you...

try saying no this time?

 

[cellow]

sigh. thanks for your advice and listening ears. any more advice on how to deal w the thorny situation of ILs going on hol w us is welcome.

i never want to do it again.
first is money. more impt is my time.... i do not enjoy the holiday at all.

 

[doggiebb]

cellow

you paying for the holiday expenses for the in laws is not acceptable lah.

I also pay more for the household expenses because I earn more but when it comes to his mother coming on holiday with us, he pays for her air ticket as all the air tickets are paid by me. Accom is typically settled by him so no issue with me.

so that's really how we settle the expenses between ourselves. I pay for some things, he pays for others. but being the more kan cheong one, i initate all the kids' enrichment and gotta pay for them. and those are not cheap! and yes, money issues really can spew a lot of resentment! on good days, i don't think about them at all, but when he steps on my tail! whoa! really GRRRRR!!!

 

[batgirl]

cellow,

Yah, how can in-laws holiday come out of common account? In fact our common account is strictly for household stuff, maid salary etc. For holidays we take, we take out of our own savings and pay. But I also pay 50% for my in law cos he also helps and relief me sometimes to take care of my kids. I mean he is there when I need his help, so I dun mind. But it does not come out of the common account. We also dun use common account money for watches. the line becomes blurred once the joint account money is also my money kind of thing. So my joint account has not much $$ inside one, we trsf enuff to meet household expenses and save a little for new furnishings if we need it (something like a sinking fund). Other than that, what we earn is pretty much our own money.

 

[pinkbunny]

yikes cellow
i don't see the point for you having to pay for his parents on a holiday that you don't even want them tagging along on, AND that you would absolutely NOT enjoy.

we paid for my MIL's trip to paris (and met her there) when she turned 60, but that came from joint account, and we discussed it and agreed upon it. but for you to foot the entire bill.... for something you don't even want.... HELLO??? logic, s'il vous plait, mr cellow?

smiggle
you keep your bills for 3 years!???!! yes if i bring her home immediately after school she will nap, but then i cannot go out and do my errands mah. but today we went out and man, so so so tired.

bbp
haha, "bb" is either blackberry or baby!!

eh USS hor, i think our kids are a bit too young to enjoy leh, even at 4.


announcement, announcement!
i am pregnant. haha. old news.

new news: i can no longer cut my toenails and just told BLUEBUNNY that i now have to start going for pedicures. oh woe is me

 

[sychua79]

cellow
why are you paying for the in laws? i find that a bit strange...i dun think my hb will make me do that even though he is quite tight fisted about certain things. the only thing he is not tight fist about is gifts. he did get me another piece of jewellery over the weekend on his own accord......

re lunch
got to see whether i can clear my work. i have been neglecting work cos of all these personal problems. lucky my boss is understanding. he knows i can't conc on work cos of maid issues....really need to catch up big time..

smiggle
i went to look at 2 maids today. one totally attitude. when i asked her whether can come back by 5pm on her off days she kept quiet very long until agent asked her to answer and it was cannot. then i asked 6 pm and she also cannot. so strike off the list. the other one better but english super terrible. dunno whether i wan to take or not but she seemed very keen to work for me......

 

[bluebearypie]

Cellow,
Ah, think I will not say anymore about the ILs holiday issue liao. But curious, what kind of accessories do watches need? I think I just made the watches sound human.

PB,
Yah lor, I was puzzled for like 3 sec when I initially thought bb was baby.
USS - maybe not all the rides but according to my friend who bought the family yearly package thingy, her kids enjoy it a lot and her daughter is born in Oct 08. So since it's free, I might as well bring him in, then Mr bbp has an excuse not to take the scary rides with me. Haha.
Eh, I don't remember how I cut my toenails when I was preggy. I most definitely didn't go for pedicures so does that mean I cut my own toenails? Cos I don't think Mr bbp would have cut them for me lor. Hmm. Interesting question to ask him later when he comes back from work.

SY,
Indonesian maid? I think attitude is more important but then, this is coming from someone who doesn't deal with maids.

 

[dee2dou]

Haiz! These men we call hubbies all need a smack on the head at times ah!!

Can emphasize with Cellow..think we have quite similar arrangements. We also pay for IL's to go on holiday with us too and it comes from the joint acc..his fancy watches and branded undies all come from joint acc too! We moms know how to give up the birkins for the baby at least, but sees red when the other goes on splurging! (didn't know mr Cellow is into fancy watches too, mine spent a bomb on some fancy BOX to house them and it's eaten up my wardrobe space too!!)

But as for holidays, I now insist that it must be one time his parents, then next is mine before I will agree to pay and go for another with his! Not sure how Long this can hold though cos mine are not keen to travel n his is dying to always go somewhere sigh...

And I echo u girls on the whiney when sick bits too!! Mine asks me to apply for leave to stay home and nurse him, while I still have to slog when I'm half dead and had stomach flu! Hmmph!

Just wanna whack them with a huge salmon sometimes!!

 

[pinkbunny]

bbp
i will not ask Bluebunny to cut my nails! i am super afraid that he will nick me. i did ask him to shave my legs in my last tri though haha

DD
lol at smacking with huge salmon! if anyone is interested, GIANT has good prices on whole salmons

branded undies? *slap forehead*

hey girls. anyone knows where to buy mont blanc wallets? and are they very pricey ah?

 

[michelletan]

I guess I should keep my mouth shut about bringing in laws to holiday. I'm the wierd one who thinks we should stay with them, i'll gladly pay for them if they are willing to come along and we can all have fun. On days when i come home late, take a short holiday alone with hubby, who are the ones staying home making sure my kiddo was well looked after? who are the ones who faithfully send and pick eboy to school on those months when i started a new job and worked like no tomorrow.. paying for a trip for them, I'll do it anytime, anyday. haha.. oh, btw, my in laws are such fantastic ppl that they will volunteer to pay from their savings even now both have retired. ya, they will contribute money back in some ways, so if they dun take us for granted, I'll pay! hahaha...

joint account
again, i'm the wierd one. every single cent goes to our joint account. its blurred now who contributes more or less, after minus our own credit card bills, every single cent goes to the joint account, and every thing gets paid there. haha..

PB, yes, mont blanc wallet is expensive. at least 300-400. buy from queensway maybe can get cheaper, but designs are older ones...

LOL on the hubbies splurging on expensive things like watch and branded undies.. thank goodness my hubby is thrifty and believes in saving every single cent as far as possible so we can support ethan through the expensive therapy, support his and my parents, support our hefty electricity bills ($500plus!) and continue to buy more houses in the future..

cellow, ya i read that article too that bbp posted. that scenario does not happen to normal people. would you rather spend on enrichment for both kids as an excuse to your hubby that, oh dear, we better take this last trip with your parents cos next year I was thinking we could sign C1 on this and that, C2 on this and that.. hey look, we better start saving more... children education is so important, children learning swimming is so important, but all these costs money.. something like that... start planning!!!

 

[smiggleprincess]

Cellow
We dont have joint acc wor..
He believes i will spent everythin out of the acc..
I think i wil too!!

PB
Ya, i keep mine for 3yrs. He keeps his for 7yrs..
My cabinets full of files..
Do u need any baby things?? I have to start selling kasper's stuff..

Sy
Try roland.. all his maid with no off day contract.. i like..

 

[badazzlee]

Im back e no good news yet.
Anyway sae a lit of huucy gossip...

Wanna catch up on what ive missed out. Seem a lot. So
Anyone any lunch tml? I will be at or hard and can go lunch.

 

[youpi]

DD
Branded undies?! Wahey! Pass you a salmon okay?

Cellow
With ILs on holiday, can they and hb look after C1 and C2 so that you can go off and enjoy something on your own? Watches: are they investment or heirloom pieces? If so, well, at least they can be flogged for cash if the need arises. Tell hb if he does not buy, the amount that would have been used can pay for the entire trip! One watch is like $20K+ (and upwards) right?

Mich
You and hb have a wonderful understanding and somehow you are both able to work things out in a very practical way because you both see the long term benefits. I really admire that!

Taxi driver mum
Today was the first day of driving both boys to school. I felt like a taxi driver. Drive L to kindy. Drive home. Get S ready. Drive S to school. Drive back to kindy to pick L up. Drive back to S’s school to wait for dismissal. Drive all to AMK for lunch. Drive hb to SSDC to sign up for driving lessons (he can shake hands with Bluebunny - no license). Drive home. Exhausted!

 

[cellow]

Mich,
I only meant the statement that wife made about parents should not involve children in quarrels or to care about parents' happiness

Qing!
Haiya miss u leh. U dun even appear on fb now
Yes lots of juicy gossip about our men.

Dd,
Branded underwear!! Mine is not just a box. U actually have to see the cabinet to believe the range of accessories
Hmm. Mayb I should waltz into Hermes n come out with a scarf... Idea lol

Bbp,
A pix is worth a thousand words... I ll post on fb but ssssshhhhh... No one from this thread is allowed to comment there. Comment here if u must

 

[cellow]

Dd,
Idea from a roald Dahl story I read a long time ago.
Use a frozen salmon.... Hurts more than a fresh one and costs less too... Dun have to wait for Giant sale!

Wahahahahahaaa. U girls just made me chuckle out loud la

Youpi,
Meant to b heirlooms. 2 watches for c1 and c2. The cost ... Well let's just say tis not just 4 figures. And supposedly e cost is less than the net market value.
U have wheels now? Whoa. Welcome to chauffeur land. At least taxi drivers have meters. What curr is c1 gonna pay the chauffeur in.... Hugs n kisses. I m amply rewarded la

 

[cin_bunny]

Dd- lol on using salmon to bash hubby..I think poor salmon will hurt more cos our men's skull so thick !! Erm, what is considered branded undies ah? Like gap or polo kind? Heehee.

Pinkb - yes mont blanc wallets nt cheap..but I think I saw Singapore airlines inflight store selling below 300. Check it
out and let me know if u want Jin to help buy as he is flying
the next few days.


Michelle- thank heaven for nice in laws ya. My in laws are just like yours and like u, I would be happy to pay for
their trips

 

[cellow]

Pix posted. My book cabinet has become his display cabinet.

Oh and tonight I told him I want a gold watch within the year. He said ok readily. Make him sweat a bit.

Also said wanna save money to buy a JB house for the boys to run around. SG houses look out of reach n will tax us if one of us were to not work for a while. He also agreed. Suddenly v agreeable tonight....

C1 took 2h tO fall asleep tonight. Me time suddenly shrinks to past midnight.

 

[michelletan]

Whoa!! Cellow, saw the pix and whoa!!! What's all the labels and signage for? They came with the watch or paid separately??? I still remember how enthusiastic mr C was in helping me choose a watch which btw is collecting dust somewhere...

Actually, do you think that your in laws would
1) drop everything to attend to your call for help as and when you urgently need it?
2) be the first to help you out in the scenario where you are down and out (touch wood)
3) leave their everything and house to your hubby or your two boys eventually?

If answer is mostly yes, then acting as a short term ATM may be a long term investment. That's the brain talking. Going with heart, spending money for family trips teaches your child self-lessness and family values that will be reciprocated when they grow up, plus paying back to parents for all the things they sacrificed. I think if you have to do it, and they are not the type who intentionally make you pay and take it for granted type, plus, You (yes you) can afford it (and not your hubby), why not? I like to think that it's a sign of success and control that you have the financial ability to bring whoever you want for holidays.

Guess who is still the proxy in the house and who is losing sleep? I need the salmon to hit mr mich for adding oil to fire by not proactively engaging them!

 

[michelletan]

Ya I also very keen to find out what us considered branded undies and how much they cost? Things that cannot flash, the only reason hubby invest is to impress you, DD? *wink*

yeah，Youpi got wheels! Welcome to the chauffeur club! You'll get used to it! How was first day for S? Saw his Thomas school bag, looks big and heavy! Do they still carry so many books to school cos nowadays got lockers in school?

If I can lunch, I'll call you, Qing! SMS me on venue if there's one going on ok?

 

[instinctive84]

Hi,
Dear mummies, sorry to interupt. I have a boy also born in july08, but we've been residing in US for the past 2yrs plus... i will return to sg for good in May2012, would like to have my son enrolled into a childcare on June2012.

But im quite confused abt some stuff. So would like your precious advise and experience sharing.

Which school is your child attending? Is brand an important factor to consider?

Do u send your child to sch or using schoolbus service?

Btw, i live in sengkang and my mum lives in ang mo kio, im considering any schools in the 2 town...

Thanks in advance!

 

[sychua79]

PB
yes i think mont blanc wallets are pricey. we just got one for my dad and it costs 470 for a simple one.....

DD
use salmon to smack them too wasted....fish is expensive nowadays...haha just use a pillow..

michelle
i think with in laws like yours, no one will mind paying for them! at least they are a positive factor...envy envy!!!

cellow
i would love to buy watches and keep them for my kids! at least they are investment pieces i guess....better than spending on car which only depreciates...

i tell my hb not to get me jewellery but to get watch but he dun...

youpi
welcome to chauffeur land!! hee this is just like a wife's sideline right...

hello instictive
i think it is not so much about branding for childcare but u need to talk to the teachers and see whether u r comfy with them. if there is sch bus available i think it is good. kids love to take school bus and adjust faster to school.

cellow
u guys make me so curious that i had to go and take a look at the pic. how come got so many accessories?? i can't see the watch but i see a whole lot of other stuff!

 

[sdchick]

Jo/Cellow
Yep I mix Chrysanthemum with Jin Yin Hua. But not too much Jin Yin Hua because it will leave a bit of bitter taste. Boil together.

Cellow
On your trip with both parents - Mebbe can divide the duties. Mr C handles his parents, you handle yours and both set of parents handle one grandson! Lols. I always travel with my hb side of Family (16 people altogether and I'm always the one who arranges everything (if overseas) from hotel to daily travel planning, transport and food. Yikes. I've been trying to get them to go to Bali instead, since they can arrange easily instead of me. But my BIL pays for everyone so I can't really complain.

Hmm since both parents going, should divide the bills for the holiday, to be fair. My friend advised me this one: If you take your parents, you pay. If he took his parents, he pays. Something like that. Since you are paying (I GROWL for you too!), will they be expecting annual PAID trips?

What kinda watch accessories? I only know the box to keep them, which is kinda expensive.

Chauffeur
*raises hand* When I am sick Mr SD will still insist I send the kids to school and then send him to work. Only when I'm at the hospital giving birth then he has to take care of his own transport. When he is in Singapore I practically send everyone to school/work, pick up Emma from school, and pick up mr SD from his workplace. In fact, during Ashley's pre-schooling time, I picked her up from her school and sent her back all the way to Yio Chu Kang (where we lived then) and went back to work at Somerset every single day for 4 years. I didn't have a lunch buddy at work. Now it's the same case with Emma. I am totally a private driver for our household.

BBP
Well Ashley needs A LOT of encouragement (scolding etc hehe) before she lifts her hand to do homework *SIGH* She is very independent when it comes to play.

Money
Well Mr SD earns more money than me but the good thing is all his money is managed by me. We put our all our money together in a joint account and just use it to pay everything. So for that sometimes I will just let him feel that he had more say. Big ticket items will have to be agreed by both parties.

Instinctive84
Hello! I send the kids to school and not using the bus since I don't really trust the bus driver and also my kids are those who don't sit quitely in the car. Childcare - list your priorities, for example: number of children to teacher, curriculum, play area, etc., it'll be easier to decide the school. If your kids will be taking bus, I suggest getting a school near to home is the best.

 

[missysz]

pb,
time to pamper yourself w pedicure.

look out for groupon for good deals. i got a classic mani + pedi package for only $28..remember to read fine prints coz package/deal may not be available for CNY period.

cellow,
i saw your pic in FB! really a lot of accessories and boxes...how many watches did he buy? sorry if i didn't catch it if u had mentioned earlier. did he get one for u too?

DD,
the branded undies are funny!

hello instictive,
welcome to this happening thread. it moves v fast here. i don't stay around your area so can't help. For CC, i think it is best to go down to the centre and observe yourself. Reputable & Expensive schools don't necessary mean good ones, IMO.

 

[cellow]

SY,
the watches are not on display la. 5 figure a piece leh. wah lau, put on display just asking to be filched man.
i m opposite fm you. i would love for Mr C to buy me jewellery but no he keeps buying watch stuff. the accessories are eye opening rite.... i din even know how much they cost until one fine day in Dec, i decided to ask him. then he showed me... and i was too stunned at the figure to react. but the resentment had been brewing inside for a while now.

mich,
i still dun really get why YOU are losing sleep over ILs' quarrels. are they using you to talk to each other? if so, then stop doing that. tell them to talk to each other directly. works when us 4 sisters squabble and try to involve my parents... they always says sort it out yourselves, generate some options, discuss and if you still cannot decide then, come to either of them and they will give us some guidance / family principles. we usu sort it out ourselves.

doggiebb,
you are rite la in that the GROWL now is bcz he stepped on my tail over the past month and the last straw was telling me off for waking him up when he was sick. how sick can you be if you want to hare off here and there for lunch..... duh. in good times, i do not really think abt money in terms of his/mine/ours. all one pot.

so... travelling w ILs
applying mich's head criteria
1) drop everything to attend to your call for help as and when you urgently need it?
yes with constraints. the constraints are the ILs' care of the other son and daughter's children. BIL has 2 sons aged 9yo and 2yo. SIL has one daughter aged 3yo and another baking in the oven due Jul 2012. MIL did my confinement for C2 ... i was 3 weeks early rite, so my mum did the first week.

2) be the first to help you out in the scenario where you are down and out (touch wood)
physical distance too far away la. they are in MY, i m in SG. how to be the first to help me out? likely it would be my sisters or my parents to help.

3) leave their everything and house to your hubby or your two boys eventually?
again doubtful. Mr C and I are more financially stable than the BIL and SIL. house in MY, how to move to SG? likely BIL will get it. MIL's jewellery, not a lot, likely to go to SIL, not me. Mr C might have a part in the house... but chances are he would cede his share to BIL. this one, their family matter, i dun want to interfere and really i m ok financially, so i dun really need the ILs' money.

so that is the head part.

the heart part... i m with DD. i want to bring my parents out for hol too, not always spend time/energy and oh yes, $$$ to bring the ILs on hod.... but my dad is not so mobile (he had a stroke ~11 yrs ago) and my mum prefers to eat rice at every meal. so again constraints... whereas the ILs... wah, they will and want to travel at every opportunity lor. so need to be fair to me and to my parents also. does Mr C bring up the idea of bringing my parents for holidays? yes he does and that is a comfort.... at least. however with so many constraints, it would be to Taiwan or HK or some other Chinese/Asian country for my mum to have her rice. wont cost as much as an Europe trip.
i only ask that he loves and respects my parents the same way, or more, that i do his parents.

heart criteria on family values also.
I might bring the ILs again ONE more time just to demo to the boys that we do care for parents. Do the same for my parents too. In the process though, I hope and pray that both sides will have the grace and wisdom to love the grandchildren and realise that Mr C/my primary respty now is to the children, no longer them.

my ILs are generally nice people, just naggy and they like to interfere with the children and my maid and the household, all out of good intentions mind you... net effect is i get super irritated at their intrusion and demands on my energy/time though.

thanks for all your listening ears and suggestions.... i would incorporate some of them into my next discussion with Mr C.
problem is he is quicker on his feet to think of options, i cannot outwit my clever /shrewd husband in a conversation!!!!

Instinctive84
Hello! Childcare, I spoke to teachers and based on overall environment - cleanliness, space - and the way the teachers speak. My criteria was near enough to home, or someone to take the boys home if they are not well.