Thanks ladies, for your kind advises.
Crystal, I can't go with you, currently with 2 kids and CNY coming up, need to get things for the whole family, thus not enough funds. And my gal needs me to sleep with her at night otherwise she will cry (this is one thing I enjoyed most, dun want this to be snatched from me by anyone). Thanks for the offer though. About the letter, I have to rewrite coz I have a strong backup then have to fine tune to this.
Bonjovi, since early stage, he does not praise me for the everything I have done for him and family (or he asked me to do), but will scold me for small little things. Thus, I also adapt his ways, of just nagging when things are not down well by him, etc. You know, its like marry the cock, follow his ways and life kind of thing since beginning till now, very difficult for me to change too.
iamsnow, in fact, I also want to stop, but then a bit like ser bu der to stop coz it will cut off the nutritions given to my gal and also the extra bonding when I latch her on.